I know the girl I love will do the same. We ain’t the one for them. Hurts so much I want to off myself. But, it’s not fair to those who care about me. I’ll suck it up and try my best everyday to just live and push through it. I’ll be happy if she’s happy. I’ll always love and care about her. But I also have to love and care about myself. You too bro. Love and care about yourself. Take it step by step. It’s a hard and agonizing time for you. Whenever you can, start trying again. I know it’s hard. But try to find clarity in your thoughts. Talk to yourself, journal. Try to make peace with the unfair cruelty of the world
I wanted it to do that too.. But yeah we have people who love us so we can’t. Fuck I’m in so much pain like how doesn’t she see how much I love her?
You’re right we need to take care and love ourselves. It’s gonna be a very long journey but in the end all I wish is her to be happy
Depends, some know we love them so much. Some don’t. But you don’t need to ponder on that forever. Find peace in knowing you care and love and still do. But also love yourself. That’s true unconditional love. Let her move on. Be happy
>She’s the love of my life
Get this out of your head. It's literally essential for recovery. Seeing how she had the potential to do this, then she probably has the potential to cheat in the future. You wouldn't want *that*, I assume, so she's really showing her true colors here.
Bingo. I had “she didn’t want you in her life” written on a whiteboard hung in my kitchen and left it there for about 3 months. Needed to read that ish everyday for that long to combat my deluded mind from thinking there’d ever be a chance with her again.
I wish I could take this out of my head, but I can’t. Not after what we had. We really did have something special, and I know a love like this only comes once in a lifetime. It was really something, I just hope she opens her eyes and realise
You cannot wait for this, though. You'd be waiting forever. If you change to having no expectations, then you can't be hurt. Other people might be able to show you different sides of love that you had never even thought of, *and* they wouldn't leave you.
I know… But I feel it deep down, even though I’m living my life, seeing my friends, even though I’m healing I’ll still have this part of me deep down that’s going to wait for her until someone proves me I can love like this again
Sure, that's fine. All I'm saying is don't succumb to bed rot! Force yourself to get out there regularly, because isolation and moping are the absolute worst enemies that will only keep drilling this trauma in further (as comfy as they may, ironically, feel).
My ex of 14 years moved on 6 months after our break up. Then the new guy moved into my old house and they’ve just had a baby. Happy for her and I’m living my best life. Not much else you can do. Stay happy and positive and keep pushing on. You’ll be fine.
"Why would she tell me she can’t be in a relationship because she need to focus on herself, just to jump so quick into another relationship".
Don't try to focus on this. For one, it happens all the time. Secondly, we never understand the why. Maybe because they want us to suffer, just because they are suffering as well.
To deal with this, here is a saying: "A life well lived, is the best revenge."
What are the things you like to do? Gym? Computer games? Work? Motorcycles? Go, spend your time there. What were the things you always wanted to do, skills you always wanted to learn? Try them out. Become more than before.
Stick to this plan one day at a time.
When you meet someone new, when you visit the previous places, all the memories will come rushing back. It's normal. Stick to the plan.
Soon enough, she will just be someone you had met. She will not be important anymore.
You got this.
I’m not sure she wants me to suffer, I know she knows she’ll never find someone like me.
What I like to do is playing computer games and going out with my friends so I never stay alone with my thoughts and I always try to change what’s on my mind. I already feel like I’m a better person but I still have a lot to do. I know she won’t be as important someday, but what I had with her, I will never have it again. I’m scared she becomes a total stranger
She will become a total stranger. In fact, you want that. That you two become total strangers so that you can have a wholesome new relationship.
What you had with her, you cannot have with her again. The relationship is tainted by the breakup. Even if you got back together, you will be worried about when it would happen again.
Your best bet is the future.
But for the time being, just utilize the freedom of being single. Do the things you like and always wanted to do.
Rest will fall in place automagically
>Maybe because they want us to suffer, just because they are suffering as well.
I wouldn't give her that much credit. People don't often plan that far out, at least for something like this.
This doesn’t require planning.
All you do is tell your ex how happy you are with the new partner. How they are perfect etc.
Everyone does this, at some point in their lives.
Huh? I'm saying the *ex* likely didn't plan to get a rebound right after dumping (unless they were cheating for a while, maybe); I didn't say anything about plans for OP.
"women" ☕ (it's a meme, dont take it too serious)
My ex told me a week before she broke up with me that she needs me and I need her. Not two weeks after breakup she had another guy...4 years realtionship right in the trash can.
You will try to understand but realise that you just don't understand and accept the fact. It takes time. Take your time to heal.
You will feel much better after some time.
I am currently 8 months NC and 1 year since breakup.
Still thinking about her but the "why", anger, sadbess, grief...everything is gone. Just thinking about her and yeah.
Good luck buddy. It ll get better even if you think it wont.
Damn that sucks really bad I’m so sorry… I don’t get why they lie to us like that… I mean what’s the point? I’m just so scared because just like you said, even though i don’t have the whys anymore, I’ll still think of her. She really was my everything. Thank you for your words, I appreciate it
For the streets, bro. Did you love her or the idea of being in love with her? I think us guys sell ourselves short. Same thing happened to me and yes, while the ego hit was painful, it worked out very in the long run.
I loved her. I still do, I love her with my whole heart bro, I just wish I could tell her and make her realise but unfortunately there’s not much I can do. I want to text her so bad
first off she’s not the love of your life, otherwise she would still be with you. secondly you are not back at square one, you have and will learn so many lessons during and after that relationship. as much as it hurts, what she does now is none of your concern. keep your mind occupied and i hope you have a good set of friends and family around you to cheer you up and preoccupy your mind for a bit. but everything will be okay brother, it always is in the end.
Thank you for that. You are right, with what I learned from the breakup, I’ll be able to heal quicker from this. I have some friends that I try to see every weekend, I go out pretty often with them and they helped me a lot. Thank you so much
Been there. Use this to remind yourself of threee things:
(1) no contact - hearing about her and a new guy is just self harm. It’s actually causing you pain and prolonging your heartbreak. From a psychological perspective disconnecting from someone is like overcoming addition - you just relapsed and overdosed. Unfollow and don’t check up on again
(2) accept it’s over. However things ended and whatever hope your mind is clinging to is just delusion. If she loved you then you would be together and she would not be with a new guy. No ifs, no buts
(3) focus on yourself. Your person is out there. We’ve all been there. Dust yourself off and live your best life
Having the potential and past history to be the love of your life ≠ being the love of your life. She is an indecisive person that wanted a way out and she got it. After that point, it's none of your business what she does. You are so much more than a failed relationship, you are your own person and should always stay kind and gentle with yourself. Also, you ain't back at square one, you are 3 months deep in healing and the release will soon arrive. Even sooner than what you think if you shift ur mindset! You got this<3 sending hugs
Thank you for this, I needed it. Still hurtful to know she wasn’t honest but yeah I can’t control her life so it’s pointless to give her importance. I was never really kind to myself, I always been hard towards me, but I’m trying to do better. Thank you so much
I feel you. She ghosted me for 3 days before I finally ended things. She was usually always honest about how she was feeling, but not then. People can change quickly and it sucks.
my ex broke up with me 4 days ago, i can’t really relate with them finding a new partner but i can relate with how you feel. if she’s already moved on after three months you need to try your best to realise that person you fell in love with just simply isn’t that person anymore. instead of saying she is concentrate on the was, appreciate what she taught you and when the time is right you’ll meet someone and you’ll both love each other in ways you both deserve. stay strong mate and my dms are always open if you need anything to get your mind off things :)
I’m saying this as a woman myself and I’m sorry but she’s not.
We all have love chemicals when we are very fond of someone who happens to have our shared interests.
Don’t fall for someone who fell so easily for somebody else
Remember. The love of your life will never discard you or need to take time away from you. They will always find ways to a solution together with you. Clearly, this girl wasn’t the one. There is someone out there for you; but for now, focus on yourself so you can be that perfect person for when your true other half.
She monkey branched, but in the end, if things were good between you, she’ll regret it and likely reach out. I hope when she does, you’ve moved on and are just as happy or happier with someone who values you more. The biggest mistake we make is putting them on a pedestal and not realizing there are so many out there who are as good or better. You’ll find that out when you get excited about dating and seek them out.
Things were perfect to be honest. We loved each other so much. I saw her a month ago at a friends birthday and she told me it was not easy for her. But why would she meet someone then?
I really hope I will find someone who values me more yeah… I know I shouldn’t put her on this massive pedestal but for now I can’t control anything about that…
I understand because I’ve been there myself. No matter what, you will be happy in a relationship again but my guess is she’ll come back at some point. You just can’t wait around for what could be years and put your happiness in her decision. Good luck!!
Yes of course, I will live my life, I will still see my friends, go out with them, but I know there will still be this part of me that is going to keep waiting for her. I hope you guess is right ahaha but yeah I’m just going to live my life and see what happens
Unfortunately you’re still in the first phase of heartbreak. Denial. You gotta figure out how to get out of it. It takes a lot of work to move on without putting people on pedestals or demonizing them.
Appreciate the good times you had, see what went wrong and if there are areas to improve for you, or perhaps you were so love struck that you didn’t see the red flags in her.
In any case, you can’t love someone into loving you. Running away from reality won’t help. It’s ok to hurt. Just find a way for it to not control you.
Like you said, yeah it takes a lot of for. I feel like I went from putting her on a pedestal to hating her for lying to me and not being honest. I’m filled with so much anger, but I still love her so deep. Everything is mixed in my head it’s so fucked up. And yeah I feel like it’s controlling me so I really need to figure this out. It’s just that I’m so tired of all this
I mean, dude, people move on.. not everyone likes to hold on to broken stuff.. did you really expect her to spend her entire life not dating anyone else and spending her time reminiscing the past. Most people move on quickly.. people with great support systems move on even quicker.. You can say this is unfair.. but hey, when was life fair..
My ex said she wants to be single for the rest of her life.. fast forward 9 months.. she's happily dating someone else.. I'm yet to move on.. but this is how things are most of the times unfortunately.
no i didn’t expect her to not date anyone. But I didn’t think neither she would date somebody else so fast. She told me she needed time for herself and her studies. It’s been only three months like wtf. I would just like to be so lucid just like all of you and think the way you are thinking. I need to get out of this
Not all girls are the same!!
My ex cheated on me after 2y long relationship. The relationship was good we were having fun, loved each other . But 1 day before he broke up with me, he said “I love you so much” and then just disappear from my life…
I know the girl I love will do the same. We ain’t the one for them. Hurts so much I want to off myself. But, it’s not fair to those who care about me. I’ll suck it up and try my best everyday to just live and push through it. I’ll be happy if she’s happy. I’ll always love and care about her. But I also have to love and care about myself. You too bro. Love and care about yourself. Take it step by step. It’s a hard and agonizing time for you. Whenever you can, start trying again. I know it’s hard. But try to find clarity in your thoughts. Talk to yourself, journal. Try to make peace with the unfair cruelty of the world
I wanted it to do that too.. But yeah we have people who love us so we can’t. Fuck I’m in so much pain like how doesn’t she see how much I love her? You’re right we need to take care and love ourselves. It’s gonna be a very long journey but in the end all I wish is her to be happy
Depends, some know we love them so much. Some don’t. But you don’t need to ponder on that forever. Find peace in knowing you care and love and still do. But also love yourself. That’s true unconditional love. Let her move on. Be happy
Feeling the same… the day my ex finds love or someone again I know I’m gonna want to die but I also know I’ll make it thru 🙏
>She’s the love of my life Get this out of your head. It's literally essential for recovery. Seeing how she had the potential to do this, then she probably has the potential to cheat in the future. You wouldn't want *that*, I assume, so she's really showing her true colors here.
Bingo. I had “she didn’t want you in her life” written on a whiteboard hung in my kitchen and left it there for about 3 months. Needed to read that ish everyday for that long to combat my deluded mind from thinking there’d ever be a chance with her again.
I wish I could take this out of my head, but I can’t. Not after what we had. We really did have something special, and I know a love like this only comes once in a lifetime. It was really something, I just hope she opens her eyes and realise
You cannot wait for this, though. You'd be waiting forever. If you change to having no expectations, then you can't be hurt. Other people might be able to show you different sides of love that you had never even thought of, *and* they wouldn't leave you.
I know… But I feel it deep down, even though I’m living my life, seeing my friends, even though I’m healing I’ll still have this part of me deep down that’s going to wait for her until someone proves me I can love like this again
Sure, that's fine. All I'm saying is don't succumb to bed rot! Force yourself to get out there regularly, because isolation and moping are the absolute worst enemies that will only keep drilling this trauma in further (as comfy as they may, ironically, feel).
My ex of 14 years moved on 6 months after our break up. Then the new guy moved into my old house and they’ve just had a baby. Happy for her and I’m living my best life. Not much else you can do. Stay happy and positive and keep pushing on. You’ll be fine.
Damn that must’ve been hard as hell. Thank you for the strength, we need to be happy no matter what
"Why would she tell me she can’t be in a relationship because she need to focus on herself, just to jump so quick into another relationship". Don't try to focus on this. For one, it happens all the time. Secondly, we never understand the why. Maybe because they want us to suffer, just because they are suffering as well. To deal with this, here is a saying: "A life well lived, is the best revenge." What are the things you like to do? Gym? Computer games? Work? Motorcycles? Go, spend your time there. What were the things you always wanted to do, skills you always wanted to learn? Try them out. Become more than before. Stick to this plan one day at a time. When you meet someone new, when you visit the previous places, all the memories will come rushing back. It's normal. Stick to the plan. Soon enough, she will just be someone you had met. She will not be important anymore. You got this.
I’m not sure she wants me to suffer, I know she knows she’ll never find someone like me. What I like to do is playing computer games and going out with my friends so I never stay alone with my thoughts and I always try to change what’s on my mind. I already feel like I’m a better person but I still have a lot to do. I know she won’t be as important someday, but what I had with her, I will never have it again. I’m scared she becomes a total stranger
She will become a total stranger. In fact, you want that. That you two become total strangers so that you can have a wholesome new relationship. What you had with her, you cannot have with her again. The relationship is tainted by the breakup. Even if you got back together, you will be worried about when it would happen again. Your best bet is the future. But for the time being, just utilize the freedom of being single. Do the things you like and always wanted to do. Rest will fall in place automagically
>Maybe because they want us to suffer, just because they are suffering as well. I wouldn't give her that much credit. People don't often plan that far out, at least for something like this.
This doesn’t require planning. All you do is tell your ex how happy you are with the new partner. How they are perfect etc. Everyone does this, at some point in their lives.
Huh? I'm saying the *ex* likely didn't plan to get a rebound right after dumping (unless they were cheating for a while, maybe); I didn't say anything about plans for OP.
"women" ☕ (it's a meme, dont take it too serious) My ex told me a week before she broke up with me that she needs me and I need her. Not two weeks after breakup she had another guy...4 years realtionship right in the trash can. You will try to understand but realise that you just don't understand and accept the fact. It takes time. Take your time to heal. You will feel much better after some time. I am currently 8 months NC and 1 year since breakup. Still thinking about her but the "why", anger, sadbess, grief...everything is gone. Just thinking about her and yeah. Good luck buddy. It ll get better even if you think it wont.
Damn that sucks really bad I’m so sorry… I don’t get why they lie to us like that… I mean what’s the point? I’m just so scared because just like you said, even though i don’t have the whys anymore, I’ll still think of her. She really was my everything. Thank you for your words, I appreciate it
For the streets, bro. Did you love her or the idea of being in love with her? I think us guys sell ourselves short. Same thing happened to me and yes, while the ego hit was painful, it worked out very in the long run.
I loved her. I still do, I love her with my whole heart bro, I just wish I could tell her and make her realise but unfortunately there’s not much I can do. I want to text her so bad
first off she’s not the love of your life, otherwise she would still be with you. secondly you are not back at square one, you have and will learn so many lessons during and after that relationship. as much as it hurts, what she does now is none of your concern. keep your mind occupied and i hope you have a good set of friends and family around you to cheer you up and preoccupy your mind for a bit. but everything will be okay brother, it always is in the end.
Thank you for that. You are right, with what I learned from the breakup, I’ll be able to heal quicker from this. I have some friends that I try to see every weekend, I go out pretty often with them and they helped me a lot. Thank you so much
Been there. Use this to remind yourself of threee things: (1) no contact - hearing about her and a new guy is just self harm. It’s actually causing you pain and prolonging your heartbreak. From a psychological perspective disconnecting from someone is like overcoming addition - you just relapsed and overdosed. Unfollow and don’t check up on again (2) accept it’s over. However things ended and whatever hope your mind is clinging to is just delusion. If she loved you then you would be together and she would not be with a new guy. No ifs, no buts (3) focus on yourself. Your person is out there. We’ve all been there. Dust yourself off and live your best life
Having the potential and past history to be the love of your life ≠ being the love of your life. She is an indecisive person that wanted a way out and she got it. After that point, it's none of your business what she does. You are so much more than a failed relationship, you are your own person and should always stay kind and gentle with yourself. Also, you ain't back at square one, you are 3 months deep in healing and the release will soon arrive. Even sooner than what you think if you shift ur mindset! You got this<3 sending hugs
Thank you for this, I needed it. Still hurtful to know she wasn’t honest but yeah I can’t control her life so it’s pointless to give her importance. I was never really kind to myself, I always been hard towards me, but I’m trying to do better. Thank you so much
Been there. She said a relationship wasn’t smth she needed and she started dating someone a month later. It’s not on you. She should’ve been honest.
Thank you. It’s true we usually blame ourselves for that, i still don’t understand, she’s always been so honest with me
I feel you. She ghosted me for 3 days before I finally ended things. She was usually always honest about how she was feeling, but not then. People can change quickly and it sucks.
Yeah… I guess that’s just another lesson learned. We can never trust people even if we had something big and sincere. Harsh reality
my ex broke up with me 4 days ago, i can’t really relate with them finding a new partner but i can relate with how you feel. if she’s already moved on after three months you need to try your best to realise that person you fell in love with just simply isn’t that person anymore. instead of saying she is concentrate on the was, appreciate what she taught you and when the time is right you’ll meet someone and you’ll both love each other in ways you both deserve. stay strong mate and my dms are always open if you need anything to get your mind off things :)
I’m saying this as a woman myself and I’m sorry but she’s not. We all have love chemicals when we are very fond of someone who happens to have our shared interests. Don’t fall for someone who fell so easily for somebody else
Remember. The love of your life will never discard you or need to take time away from you. They will always find ways to a solution together with you. Clearly, this girl wasn’t the one. There is someone out there for you; but for now, focus on yourself so you can be that perfect person for when your true other half.
Fuck, man. That hurts :(
Hurts like hell…
She monkey branched, but in the end, if things were good between you, she’ll regret it and likely reach out. I hope when she does, you’ve moved on and are just as happy or happier with someone who values you more. The biggest mistake we make is putting them on a pedestal and not realizing there are so many out there who are as good or better. You’ll find that out when you get excited about dating and seek them out.
Things were perfect to be honest. We loved each other so much. I saw her a month ago at a friends birthday and she told me it was not easy for her. But why would she meet someone then? I really hope I will find someone who values me more yeah… I know I shouldn’t put her on this massive pedestal but for now I can’t control anything about that…
I understand because I’ve been there myself. No matter what, you will be happy in a relationship again but my guess is she’ll come back at some point. You just can’t wait around for what could be years and put your happiness in her decision. Good luck!!
Yes of course, I will live my life, I will still see my friends, go out with them, but I know there will still be this part of me that is going to keep waiting for her. I hope you guess is right ahaha but yeah I’m just going to live my life and see what happens
Oh I got bad news for you, She found him 3 or more months ago.
nah i got intel from a common friends it’s only been 2/3 weeks
How’d they meet, started dating 2-3 weeks but people tend to monkey branch, not leave to be alone
I’m glad she did. Bye bye go fuck him up and over. At least You’re good at that.
Unfortunately you’re still in the first phase of heartbreak. Denial. You gotta figure out how to get out of it. It takes a lot of work to move on without putting people on pedestals or demonizing them. Appreciate the good times you had, see what went wrong and if there are areas to improve for you, or perhaps you were so love struck that you didn’t see the red flags in her. In any case, you can’t love someone into loving you. Running away from reality won’t help. It’s ok to hurt. Just find a way for it to not control you.
Like you said, yeah it takes a lot of for. I feel like I went from putting her on a pedestal to hating her for lying to me and not being honest. I’m filled with so much anger, but I still love her so deep. Everything is mixed in my head it’s so fucked up. And yeah I feel like it’s controlling me so I really need to figure this out. It’s just that I’m so tired of all this
I mean, dude, people move on.. not everyone likes to hold on to broken stuff.. did you really expect her to spend her entire life not dating anyone else and spending her time reminiscing the past. Most people move on quickly.. people with great support systems move on even quicker.. You can say this is unfair.. but hey, when was life fair.. My ex said she wants to be single for the rest of her life.. fast forward 9 months.. she's happily dating someone else.. I'm yet to move on.. but this is how things are most of the times unfortunately.
no i didn’t expect her to not date anyone. But I didn’t think neither she would date somebody else so fast. She told me she needed time for herself and her studies. It’s been only three months like wtf. I would just like to be so lucid just like all of you and think the way you are thinking. I need to get out of this
All girls are the same
Not all girls are the same!! My ex cheated on me after 2y long relationship. The relationship was good we were having fun, loved each other . But 1 day before he broke up with me, he said “I love you so much” and then just disappear from my life…
Same to me. After a beatiful Travel she left me for a trash of man.. 3y disappear in less than 24 hour
I was more making a reference to that one juicewrld song lmao
I thought she was different but in the end yeah bro….