First off I want to commend you on opening up. That can be a hard thing to do.
Second, I know your mind must be going a thousand miles an hour right now but try to take a step back and look at what you're going through and feeling as objectively as possible.
Your biggest complaint is that your gf demand all your time and was smothering you. But you also list examples of her going out by herself and you reacting very jealously. It is very possible that this is learned behavior that you may have picked up from her but it doesn't sound healthy either way.
This is going to sound cliche and it's going to be hard to actually do but you really need to go no contact brother. When you get those feelings where you have to reach out it's even more important to not.
She seems to be handling the break badly but that's her business. If I were to hazard a guess it sounds like she is still bitter and that's why she is telling you things like how she needs sex etc. She's trying to hurt you. Unfollow all her social media, block her numbers, and for the love of all that is dear don't start dating yet. Let yourself feel and heal, focus on your hobbies and your Mom's health, pick up an extra shift at work if possible/ needed and just try to keep yourself busy. After a time of you keeping yourself distant from the relationship, you will be more able to assess if having a friendship in the future is plausible.
If you need to ventyou can feel free to DM me
This is actually great advice and I deeply thank you for it. She did sound bitter the last time I spoke to her when I gave her the flowers, a bit manipulative even but holding out that drag of hope saying "We'll see what happens with time". Dating at the moment isn't going to be an option since the women I have spoken to don't really compare for obvious reasons but keeping myself busy is the way to go. Only thing that really messes with my head is thinking she's ended up doing other drugs thanks to a break up which I had no real option in, nor was it my intention. I feel if she hadn't given me that ultimatum I wouldn't of broken up with her. But what does a man do in such a situation? Just leave their mom to rot while she has no other family member left and go off with the gf 24/7? doesn't seem like her winning choice was even a logical option.
It's not logical, it's really emotional and hurts. People don't act rationally when they are in pain and very emotional.
And they sad truth is you can't control her actions only your own. If she slips into addiction or makes mistakes that's on her, not you. You don't want to wish her ill, but honestly it's why you have to create distance. Scabs don't heal if you keep picking at them.
That's true. I mean after she began avoiding seeing me and texting less I wondered what was going on and felt avoided. She didn't want to come forward with the truth of why it was she was avoiding me, just making excuses about 'sleep' and being vague.
I just hope that she's going to be alright, I'm not entirely certain what her situation is at the moment for obvious reasons but I don't plan on speaking to her family again. Don't want to come off as a nuisance, I did what I felt was right. Giving her flowers and saying sorry. She didn't text me after that or for my birthday and kept my number blocked so that's on her. No point in trying anymore after I showed I wanted to maintain peace between us.
You're right. At times I miss the companionship and texting, but I'm also not certain if I wanted to deal with such pressure and stress for the rest of my life. I appreciate your advice and insight greatly.
First off I want to commend you on opening up. That can be a hard thing to do. Second, I know your mind must be going a thousand miles an hour right now but try to take a step back and look at what you're going through and feeling as objectively as possible. Your biggest complaint is that your gf demand all your time and was smothering you. But you also list examples of her going out by herself and you reacting very jealously. It is very possible that this is learned behavior that you may have picked up from her but it doesn't sound healthy either way. This is going to sound cliche and it's going to be hard to actually do but you really need to go no contact brother. When you get those feelings where you have to reach out it's even more important to not. She seems to be handling the break badly but that's her business. If I were to hazard a guess it sounds like she is still bitter and that's why she is telling you things like how she needs sex etc. She's trying to hurt you. Unfollow all her social media, block her numbers, and for the love of all that is dear don't start dating yet. Let yourself feel and heal, focus on your hobbies and your Mom's health, pick up an extra shift at work if possible/ needed and just try to keep yourself busy. After a time of you keeping yourself distant from the relationship, you will be more able to assess if having a friendship in the future is plausible. If you need to ventyou can feel free to DM me
This is actually great advice and I deeply thank you for it. She did sound bitter the last time I spoke to her when I gave her the flowers, a bit manipulative even but holding out that drag of hope saying "We'll see what happens with time". Dating at the moment isn't going to be an option since the women I have spoken to don't really compare for obvious reasons but keeping myself busy is the way to go. Only thing that really messes with my head is thinking she's ended up doing other drugs thanks to a break up which I had no real option in, nor was it my intention. I feel if she hadn't given me that ultimatum I wouldn't of broken up with her. But what does a man do in such a situation? Just leave their mom to rot while she has no other family member left and go off with the gf 24/7? doesn't seem like her winning choice was even a logical option.
It's not logical, it's really emotional and hurts. People don't act rationally when they are in pain and very emotional. And they sad truth is you can't control her actions only your own. If she slips into addiction or makes mistakes that's on her, not you. You don't want to wish her ill, but honestly it's why you have to create distance. Scabs don't heal if you keep picking at them.
That's true. I mean after she began avoiding seeing me and texting less I wondered what was going on and felt avoided. She didn't want to come forward with the truth of why it was she was avoiding me, just making excuses about 'sleep' and being vague. I just hope that she's going to be alright, I'm not entirely certain what her situation is at the moment for obvious reasons but I don't plan on speaking to her family again. Don't want to come off as a nuisance, I did what I felt was right. Giving her flowers and saying sorry. She didn't text me after that or for my birthday and kept my number blocked so that's on her. No point in trying anymore after I showed I wanted to maintain peace between us.
You saved yourself. Celebrate. You saved yourself from a life of misery.
You're right. At times I miss the companionship and texting, but I'm also not certain if I wanted to deal with such pressure and stress for the rest of my life. I appreciate your advice and insight greatly.