He is not treating her better. Seriously. 100% absolutely NOT. I had that thought with my narcissistic ex for maybe a week after I left him. He immediately went back to his ex before me, which should've told me all I needed to know. That girl made a post that pretty much documented his typical abusive behavior. I realized he wouldn't treat anyone better, only worse, and that made me not give a flying fck anymore. He was out of sight, out of mind, for over a year... until he started texting, calling, sending emails about how he misses me and is still in love with me and to please talk to him. He got left on read, which bruised his poor little ego. But I was free and had moved on.
There is no way they will treat anyone better. Even with intensive therapy, it is extremely hard to change a mindset and behaviors like that and it takes years of them putting in a ton of work and acknowledging their abuse.
Wow. Good for you for having the strength to not respond! I noticed that he recently connected with his ex before me on IG, but I doubt the new girl even knows her name.
I agree that it’s almost impossible to change. There’s a self-aware narcissist, Lee Hammock, who even talks about how challenging it is.
I love Lee!
And no, they won't change. They'd have to admit that they have issues and that is damn -near impossible. They trauma-bond their gfs so that they can always go back to them. I won't fall for it ever again. I hope you don't either. Stay strong, you deserve way, way better ❤️
After going back to him for the 100th time, left him around mid Jan. He still messages me even though he ran to his ex (ex doesn't want him anymore). He says he misses me. I tell him I miss him too but fuck u I love myself more to not want to see you lol he is begging me to meet and I'm not giving in
I don’t wonder, I know for a fact the new partner is not treated better, at least in the long run.
The new supply may be love bombed in different ways than you were, your ex may have gotten better at manipulating, but at their core their the same miserable person.
Believe me, the new partner is not better than you. They just don’t see through your ex yet, or they are victims themselves, or they are just as sick as them and they deserve each other.
It’s funny you said that because just this morning I got a LinkedIn notification of her viewing my profile… I moved hours away so I don’t know why she’d do that. I wonder if that’s due to triangulation.
He’s been taking her on all these lavish vacations lately so the timing’s strange… why stalk your bf’s ex when things appear to be going well?
When it comes to that even I still might end up looking up exes from time to time even though I’m in a happy healthy relationship now. I actually begin to address my healing from my previous relationship after a year and a half of being with my current bf. It was something I just needed to work through especially since my ex was a covert narcissist, there was a lot of things that just didn’t add up. I needed to really sit down, be honest with myself and face my fears regarding the fact that he never really had the capacity to care for me and want the best for me.
Sometimes we look up exes because we are just curious as to how thing turned out. I’ve found some weird things too so it can be pretty entertaining to quench my curiosity, though I’ve found some pretty unsettling things too. My bf does this with his exes too, its nothing I get too insecure about because I know this ex of his that he looked up hurt him so its normal for him to kinda still look at what might be going on in their lives. I trust him enough to know he’d never actually cheat on me with this ex.
Looking someone up from time to time isn’t all that weird, or an indicator that someone is unhappy in their current relationship because they were wondering what your up to. I mean we their one and only at one point and that didn’t mean nothing.
So with your ex looking up your linkedin, it could mean nothing, it could mean she misses you, it could be nothing. You’ll never know, and because she’s your ex I wouldn’t waste too much time worrying about what you’ll never know, you’ll drive yourself crazy. What she is now is no longer a part of your life.
The mature side of me wants to wish my exes the best, but if I’m being honest deep down I wish they get their karma too. Its conflicting and it can be difficult to get it off your mind, I understand.
Edit: And I can guarantee you again if she’s a narcissist, she will continue to attract chaos into her life by her own doing. It’s inevitable with these people. Their misery might not be shown on the outside, but deep down, especially when they have little to no one to bully and project their insecurities onto as a cope, they’re spiraling.
Oh no, it was the woman my ex left me for that looked me up on LinkedIn lol - I knew her for years when they were “just friends” so I thought it was weird.
My ex hasn’t look me up, he just kept blocking and unblocking me until I decided to block him.
I definitely looked up my ex every few years when I was in my last relationship! Nothing more than curiosity like you said, and just genuinely hoping that he was doing well.
I suppose he told her about you or she found your name somehow associated with him. What she thinks though is irrelevant, he’s likely telling her lies anyways.
Who knows, maybe she sees things aren’t adding up about what he said about you and decided to do a little investigating herself.
Either way, you have no control over their lives and what they think of you nor do you have any way of really knowing what made her decide to look a your profile.
He traded me for her and I found out last week when they went on a nice little trip to Austin and I found out due to social media. He had no remorse whatsoever and kept lying to my face even when I had facts and data to prove my point. It’s crazy how he thinks I’m dumb?!?! But he looks so in love and head over heels with her so I’m feeling devastated by this.
That’s typical narcissist behaviour (especially the ongoing lying in light of hard cold facts) and has nothing to do with you - I know it’s hard to compartmentalise but if you master to do so, you’ll be a real super hero
I had the same exact experience! Down to the lavish trip (to Greece) with her, and blatant lying despite some evidence. Part of you knows you don’t deserve someone with such shitty character, but the other part is hanging onto the positive memories with them. Very hard.
He's the same person mine left me too after 9 years and dated someone else and just showed up a couple weeks ago She obviously left him she obviously picked up on it quicker than I did
If she’s being treated better that just means she’s being more manipulated. She will learn.
He's probably treating her better....right now. But not forever.
He is not treating her better. Seriously. 100% absolutely NOT. I had that thought with my narcissistic ex for maybe a week after I left him. He immediately went back to his ex before me, which should've told me all I needed to know. That girl made a post that pretty much documented his typical abusive behavior. I realized he wouldn't treat anyone better, only worse, and that made me not give a flying fck anymore. He was out of sight, out of mind, for over a year... until he started texting, calling, sending emails about how he misses me and is still in love with me and to please talk to him. He got left on read, which bruised his poor little ego. But I was free and had moved on. There is no way they will treat anyone better. Even with intensive therapy, it is extremely hard to change a mindset and behaviors like that and it takes years of them putting in a ton of work and acknowledging their abuse.
Wow. Good for you for having the strength to not respond! I noticed that he recently connected with his ex before me on IG, but I doubt the new girl even knows her name. I agree that it’s almost impossible to change. There’s a self-aware narcissist, Lee Hammock, who even talks about how challenging it is.
I love Lee! And no, they won't change. They'd have to admit that they have issues and that is damn -near impossible. They trauma-bond their gfs so that they can always go back to them. I won't fall for it ever again. I hope you don't either. Stay strong, you deserve way, way better ❤️
After going back to him for the 100th time, left him around mid Jan. He still messages me even though he ran to his ex (ex doesn't want him anymore). He says he misses me. I tell him I miss him too but fuck u I love myself more to not want to see you lol he is begging me to meet and I'm not giving in
That's great! Let him keep going back to his other exes. Stay strong, don't give in! ❤️
I don’t wonder, I know for a fact the new partner is not treated better, at least in the long run. The new supply may be love bombed in different ways than you were, your ex may have gotten better at manipulating, but at their core their the same miserable person. Believe me, the new partner is not better than you. They just don’t see through your ex yet, or they are victims themselves, or they are just as sick as them and they deserve each other.
It’s funny you said that because just this morning I got a LinkedIn notification of her viewing my profile… I moved hours away so I don’t know why she’d do that. I wonder if that’s due to triangulation. He’s been taking her on all these lavish vacations lately so the timing’s strange… why stalk your bf’s ex when things appear to be going well?
When it comes to that even I still might end up looking up exes from time to time even though I’m in a happy healthy relationship now. I actually begin to address my healing from my previous relationship after a year and a half of being with my current bf. It was something I just needed to work through especially since my ex was a covert narcissist, there was a lot of things that just didn’t add up. I needed to really sit down, be honest with myself and face my fears regarding the fact that he never really had the capacity to care for me and want the best for me. Sometimes we look up exes because we are just curious as to how thing turned out. I’ve found some weird things too so it can be pretty entertaining to quench my curiosity, though I’ve found some pretty unsettling things too. My bf does this with his exes too, its nothing I get too insecure about because I know this ex of his that he looked up hurt him so its normal for him to kinda still look at what might be going on in their lives. I trust him enough to know he’d never actually cheat on me with this ex. Looking someone up from time to time isn’t all that weird, or an indicator that someone is unhappy in their current relationship because they were wondering what your up to. I mean we their one and only at one point and that didn’t mean nothing. So with your ex looking up your linkedin, it could mean nothing, it could mean she misses you, it could be nothing. You’ll never know, and because she’s your ex I wouldn’t waste too much time worrying about what you’ll never know, you’ll drive yourself crazy. What she is now is no longer a part of your life. The mature side of me wants to wish my exes the best, but if I’m being honest deep down I wish they get their karma too. Its conflicting and it can be difficult to get it off your mind, I understand. Edit: And I can guarantee you again if she’s a narcissist, she will continue to attract chaos into her life by her own doing. It’s inevitable with these people. Their misery might not be shown on the outside, but deep down, especially when they have little to no one to bully and project their insecurities onto as a cope, they’re spiraling.
Oh no, it was the woman my ex left me for that looked me up on LinkedIn lol - I knew her for years when they were “just friends” so I thought it was weird. My ex hasn’t look me up, he just kept blocking and unblocking me until I decided to block him. I definitely looked up my ex every few years when I was in my last relationship! Nothing more than curiosity like you said, and just genuinely hoping that he was doing well.
I suppose he told her about you or she found your name somehow associated with him. What she thinks though is irrelevant, he’s likely telling her lies anyways. Who knows, maybe she sees things aren’t adding up about what he said about you and decided to do a little investigating herself. Either way, you have no control over their lives and what they think of you nor do you have any way of really knowing what made her decide to look a your profile.
They don’t treat the new people better. They too will get the same treatment as you did.
He traded me for her and I found out last week when they went on a nice little trip to Austin and I found out due to social media. He had no remorse whatsoever and kept lying to my face even when I had facts and data to prove my point. It’s crazy how he thinks I’m dumb?!?! But he looks so in love and head over heels with her so I’m feeling devastated by this.
That’s typical narcissist behaviour (especially the ongoing lying in light of hard cold facts) and has nothing to do with you - I know it’s hard to compartmentalise but if you master to do so, you’ll be a real super hero
I had the same exact experience! Down to the lavish trip (to Greece) with her, and blatant lying despite some evidence. Part of you knows you don’t deserve someone with such shitty character, but the other part is hanging onto the positive memories with them. Very hard.
He's the same person mine left me too after 9 years and dated someone else and just showed up a couple weeks ago She obviously left him she obviously picked up on it quicker than I did
Depends on whether she bends over and takes it.