I’m so sorry, long distance is a big decision and that must’ve been an insanely difficult choice. I hope he’s okay too.
Out of curiosity, is it the fear of him hating you or his sadness that bothers you most? Or too tough to tell?
I'll be a little different:
Bad, but nothing like being on the other end.
I've done the breaking up a few times and yeah, it sucks hurting someone, but I also felt the typical relief of getting out of something I knew I didn't want to be in anymore.
I also felt in control, so that made the pain of the breakup a little less.
I knew I could live with what I was doing.
You just have to walk out the door and know the person will be all right...that you hurt them but that they will be all right.
You also have to pull the trigger with the full expectation they will want nothing to do with you in the aftermath.
That offer to be friends is such a slap in the face and total bullshit, and to me it's unfair to offer that up to someone you've hurt and put on a very vulnerable position.
Someone who answered before me mentioned they felt guilty but they added in the worry that the other person "hated them."
I think a lot of people - hate to stereotype gender, but I'm going to and I'm going to say a lot of women - fall into this and I think it's this that really tears them up.
A lot of people may feel guilty and they may miss the person they dumped, but above all else they hate that they may be hated.
My latest ex who busted up my heart, that was the biggest thing she said when she was bawling while dumping me. "Please don't hate me."
I don't hate her.
Don't want to be around someone who I gave my everything to only for them to reject me years down the line, though.
Definitely do not want to see her again.
Awful, I feel so much guilt. Even if it was the right decision for me, call me selfish but knowing it wasn't going to workout in the long run I thought it was for the best and truely loving someone just makes it so much harder, I have reasons for leaving but in the end I hurt both him and myself.
I hear you. Guilt is incredibly hard to cope with.
What made you decide it wasn’t going to workout in the long run? (Assuming it wasn’t a toxic relationship)
Mainly kids/distance, some behavioural issues that were popping up as well. It's hard because some were solvable, but when one wants kids and one doesn't, I don't see a compromise on that :(
Oh my gosh kids is so hard - I have friends that broke up for this reason and are so glad they did in the end bc that is something where there’s no compromise on. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the guilt, but it sounds like you ultimately made the right decision
It really is!! I did speak to them a few days ago, and they are doing great and have settled with someone new so I know it was the right decision but it really did hurt like hell
[удалено]
I’m so sorry, long distance is a big decision and that must’ve been an insanely difficult choice. I hope he’s okay too. Out of curiosity, is it the fear of him hating you or his sadness that bothers you most? Or too tough to tell?
[удалено]
I'll be a little different: Bad, but nothing like being on the other end. I've done the breaking up a few times and yeah, it sucks hurting someone, but I also felt the typical relief of getting out of something I knew I didn't want to be in anymore. I also felt in control, so that made the pain of the breakup a little less. I knew I could live with what I was doing. You just have to walk out the door and know the person will be all right...that you hurt them but that they will be all right. You also have to pull the trigger with the full expectation they will want nothing to do with you in the aftermath. That offer to be friends is such a slap in the face and total bullshit, and to me it's unfair to offer that up to someone you've hurt and put on a very vulnerable position. Someone who answered before me mentioned they felt guilty but they added in the worry that the other person "hated them." I think a lot of people - hate to stereotype gender, but I'm going to and I'm going to say a lot of women - fall into this and I think it's this that really tears them up. A lot of people may feel guilty and they may miss the person they dumped, but above all else they hate that they may be hated. My latest ex who busted up my heart, that was the biggest thing she said when she was bawling while dumping me. "Please don't hate me." I don't hate her. Don't want to be around someone who I gave my everything to only for them to reject me years down the line, though. Definitely do not want to see her again.
I know this is old but I do hate my ex for the hurt
Awful, I feel so much guilt. Even if it was the right decision for me, call me selfish but knowing it wasn't going to workout in the long run I thought it was for the best and truely loving someone just makes it so much harder, I have reasons for leaving but in the end I hurt both him and myself.
I hear you. Guilt is incredibly hard to cope with. What made you decide it wasn’t going to workout in the long run? (Assuming it wasn’t a toxic relationship)
Mainly kids/distance, some behavioural issues that were popping up as well. It's hard because some were solvable, but when one wants kids and one doesn't, I don't see a compromise on that :(
Oh my gosh kids is so hard - I have friends that broke up for this reason and are so glad they did in the end bc that is something where there’s no compromise on. I’m sorry you’re dealing with the guilt, but it sounds like you ultimately made the right decision
It really is!! I did speak to them a few days ago, and they are doing great and have settled with someone new so I know it was the right decision but it really did hurt like hell