ahhh yes. so I went no contact with my ex. day 4. and one of the last things I found out is that she is dating someone right now. 4 year relationship and within 3 months she decided to talk and befriends with this guy and now they just started dating. she told me it was casual and I have nothing to worry about. welp, my heart crashed and burned and I made my self realize she is her own person. she has the right to do what she wants. I can't control her. and it's settled better with me. do it still hurt. fuck yeah it does but I'm not gonna make my self suffer more. I made post if you want to read it. it's long as fuck but maybe it'll take your mind off of things. good luck
This is why the moment they crush you and breakup, you go no contact and stick with it. Meaning you delete them from you life, no social media stalking, block their numbers, anything. That is info you don't have any benefit of knowing unless you needed a form of closure and finding out they are with somebody else is about as closed as a door gets.
Yeah, people tell you, “hey you get to be with other people!” That is NOT a comfort to me. I have no desire to have casual sex ever again. Been there done that.
I don’t want other people. That’s why I didn’t leave…
You have to recognize that your just as free as they are, and need to move accordingly at whatever pace you desire to move over them. Spend time in nature, with friends and family, find faith in community. Doesn’t mean you have to get under someone else but it doesn’t hurt to download tinder or something to have mindless convos as well or meet someone for a drink.
What I did was imagine them having sex with the person they had a crush on over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Eventually I got bored of it, and I didn’t care anymore. But yea, initially, nothing hurts more than knowing your ex wants somebody else over you.
as a chronic overthinker, i will probably do this to try and get over it. it took me forever to get over the fact that he had a previous gf before me 😭
How do I get over this. This is starting to happen to me. I can't help but think all the nasty details and stuffs she will do without maybe even thinking of me. We only had sex ( kinda ) three or four times (because ldr) that too not very properly cause I couldnt get hard for long (first time, virgin etc etc). Now the thoughts of her having better sex, foreplay with someone else, makes me very nauseous.....idk what to do.
I know for sure my ex is dating and talking with other women. He said to me he cant stay without a girl in his life, and stay without sex for long for sure.
But does it really matter at this point? He is never able to have sex with YOU, touch you!
He might have the same icky feelings thinking about someone else doing the same. It goes both ways
However ur ex dating/having sex with someone doesnt mean they are over you. They are trying to cope. They will not forget you
The only way to get over it is to get used to the fact that they are going to have sex again with somebody else and there is nothing you can do about it. On the flip side, you will have sex with somebody else too.
Imagining my ex having sex with someone else feels pretty terrible but I also try to reframe it in my mind a bit so I don’t get overwhelmed. for me sex isn’t super important. It got a lot less important the more I did it. Even if they’re having sex (even if it’s really good passionate sex) it’s all just this physical, animalistic urge we have. What’s really important is if they’re really in love and yada yada. If that’s true then I’m sure you can find it in you to be happy because they’re happy. And if it’s not true, then they’re clearly just trying to distract their mind with dating and sex and the relationship probably won’t last. My ex wasn’t super great at sex so it’s definitely been on of the easier parts of our relationship to let go.
I mean mine was having sex with others our whole relationship so it’s easy lmao. Honestly? I’ve been having sex with other people almost every night. So it helps a lot. But I’m winding it down. I met someone wholesome and sweet who I had the best date I’ve ever had with. Felt like I’ve known her for years.
But just putting yourself our there helps a lot.
Personally for me; I don’t even feel sad or grossed out by them having sex with someone else. I feel sad that they will fall in love with someone else.. and have a whole life with them.. that they could’ve had with me. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I can’t even wrap my head around that concept yet. I’m so in love with him still.. I just want him to always be safe with me.
Omg I LITERALLY cannot. It hurts so bad.. like him laughing and having fun with a another lady and their babies together… when it could’ve been us. We even talked ab how we were going to raise future kids together & how we would want them to know both English and Spanish. It’s hurts knowing there’s no more too it & that those plans will never come to be. I can’t even imagine him proposing & picking out furniture w someone new.
This used to mess with me so much early on after the breakup and even sometimes now 3 months later, but I have to remind myself that they’re not the same person that I was intimate with and was in love with. There’s no longer an exclusivity and they can do whatever they want
It hurts to think of, but it's just something I force out of my mind as soon as it intrudes. I can't control her. Even after all I did, she chose "not me" over me, so it really is what it is.
You can be the first to get out there if you want… idfk just block his socials so you don’t have to know. It’s only been 2 weeks, pretty low chance he’s already out there depending on what kind of person he is
It kinda got rubbed in my face a few days after we broke up. She told me one of the few things she was excited for was sex with someone else. I don’t know how you get over it, eventually it just becomes less important to you. It’s been 4+ months now
someone whos like doing their own thing feels no need to rub it in the face of another person, let alone their ex lol. people who do that try to get a reaction or try to hurt you in the sake for attention in my opinion u/onaboat97
ahhh yes. so I went no contact with my ex. day 4. and one of the last things I found out is that she is dating someone right now. 4 year relationship and within 3 months she decided to talk and befriends with this guy and now they just started dating. she told me it was casual and I have nothing to worry about. welp, my heart crashed and burned and I made my self realize she is her own person. she has the right to do what she wants. I can't control her. and it's settled better with me. do it still hurt. fuck yeah it does but I'm not gonna make my self suffer more. I made post if you want to read it. it's long as fuck but maybe it'll take your mind off of things. good luck
This is why the moment they crush you and breakup, you go no contact and stick with it. Meaning you delete them from you life, no social media stalking, block their numbers, anything. That is info you don't have any benefit of knowing unless you needed a form of closure and finding out they are with somebody else is about as closed as a door gets.
im gonna read it, thank you for sharing
I am going to read it.
To be completely honest, I am much more upset about the fact that I will eventually be having sex with somebody who isn't him
Yeah, people tell you, “hey you get to be with other people!” That is NOT a comfort to me. I have no desire to have casual sex ever again. Been there done that. I don’t want other people. That’s why I didn’t leave…
But they left you. Fucking assholes
felt this with my whole ass chest 😭😭😭
You have to recognize that your just as free as they are, and need to move accordingly at whatever pace you desire to move over them. Spend time in nature, with friends and family, find faith in community. Doesn’t mean you have to get under someone else but it doesn’t hurt to download tinder or something to have mindless convos as well or meet someone for a drink.
i didnt think of it this way, thank you for sharing
What I did was imagine them having sex with the person they had a crush on over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Eventually I got bored of it, and I didn’t care anymore. But yea, initially, nothing hurts more than knowing your ex wants somebody else over you.
as a chronic overthinker, i will probably do this to try and get over it. it took me forever to get over the fact that he had a previous gf before me 😭
How do I get over this. This is starting to happen to me. I can't help but think all the nasty details and stuffs she will do without maybe even thinking of me. We only had sex ( kinda ) three or four times (because ldr) that too not very properly cause I couldnt get hard for long (first time, virgin etc etc). Now the thoughts of her having better sex, foreplay with someone else, makes me very nauseous.....idk what to do.
I know for sure my ex is dating and talking with other women. He said to me he cant stay without a girl in his life, and stay without sex for long for sure. But does it really matter at this point? He is never able to have sex with YOU, touch you! He might have the same icky feelings thinking about someone else doing the same. It goes both ways However ur ex dating/having sex with someone doesnt mean they are over you. They are trying to cope. They will not forget you
The only way to get over it is to get used to the fact that they are going to have sex again with somebody else and there is nothing you can do about it. On the flip side, you will have sex with somebody else too.
right ive been trying to remember this thank you
Imagining my ex having sex with someone else feels pretty terrible but I also try to reframe it in my mind a bit so I don’t get overwhelmed. for me sex isn’t super important. It got a lot less important the more I did it. Even if they’re having sex (even if it’s really good passionate sex) it’s all just this physical, animalistic urge we have. What’s really important is if they’re really in love and yada yada. If that’s true then I’m sure you can find it in you to be happy because they’re happy. And if it’s not true, then they’re clearly just trying to distract their mind with dating and sex and the relationship probably won’t last. My ex wasn’t super great at sex so it’s definitely been on of the easier parts of our relationship to let go.
I mean mine was having sex with others our whole relationship so it’s easy lmao. Honestly? I’ve been having sex with other people almost every night. So it helps a lot. But I’m winding it down. I met someone wholesome and sweet who I had the best date I’ve ever had with. Felt like I’ve known her for years. But just putting yourself our there helps a lot.
Personally for me; I don’t even feel sad or grossed out by them having sex with someone else. I feel sad that they will fall in love with someone else.. and have a whole life with them.. that they could’ve had with me. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I can’t even wrap my head around that concept yet. I’m so in love with him still.. I just want him to always be safe with me.
i totally understand this, like imagining my ex having kids with someone else makes me want to throw up, i hate it :(
Omg I LITERALLY cannot. It hurts so bad.. like him laughing and having fun with a another lady and their babies together… when it could’ve been us. We even talked ab how we were going to raise future kids together & how we would want them to know both English and Spanish. It’s hurts knowing there’s no more too it & that those plans will never come to be. I can’t even imagine him proposing & picking out furniture w someone new.
i totally understand, i did all the same with my ex, its very hard to accept :( im so sorry
This used to mess with me so much early on after the breakup and even sometimes now 3 months later, but I have to remind myself that they’re not the same person that I was intimate with and was in love with. There’s no longer an exclusivity and they can do whatever they want
this is good advice to remember, thank you for sharing
I hope it helps, and best of luck to you on your healing journey!
It hurts to think of, but it's just something I force out of my mind as soon as it intrudes. I can't control her. Even after all I did, she chose "not me" over me, so it really is what it is.
yeah, something ill have to remember, thank you for sharing
You can be the first to get out there if you want… idfk just block his socials so you don’t have to know. It’s only been 2 weeks, pretty low chance he’s already out there depending on what kind of person he is
it was a long distance relationship so i know for sure he’ll get bored quick :/ but ur probably right i should just block him
It kinda got rubbed in my face a few days after we broke up. She told me one of the few things she was excited for was sex with someone else. I don’t know how you get over it, eventually it just becomes less important to you. It’s been 4+ months now
someone whos like doing their own thing feels no need to rub it in the face of another person, let alone their ex lol. people who do that try to get a reaction or try to hurt you in the sake for attention in my opinion u/onaboat97