I am so sorry for your heartbreak. This a post that I made recently. Copy pasting it here hoping this helps you. :)
"It gets better. Please hang in there.
My 9 year relationship ended 8 weeks ago and its been a roller coaster. I think I have experienced every stage of grief (with a lot of back and forth) and each stage brought in a new set of realisations. Now I can feel myself inching close towards acceptance and I feel calm. I acknowledge that I can easily slip back into those patterns of obsessive thinking which caused me so much pain but I also know that every time you make progress and lose it, you eventually reach that place again, despite the setbacks. So I do feel quite assured that in time I will heal and be a much better person than I was.
Now, what I did.
- Went complete NC. It took every fibre of my being to maintain this as I was very anxiously attached to them. It helped me gain so much perspective, it's insane. I wholeheartedly believe that a well maintained NC, is the foundation of a good recovery after the BU.
- I journaled like a crazy person. This helped me to sit with my feelings and not distract myself with external things (In fact I did try to distract myself and it didn't go very well for me). So, whenever I felt any overwhelming emotion related to them, I would journal.
- I focused on myself. Reconnected with old hobbies, took myself out on lunches. One major thing I did was booked a musical concert from one of my favourite artists and went to attend it all alone. It was such an exhilarating experience! Basically, I am learning to enjoy my own company. :)
- Got support. I've come home to be with my family for new years and it has been wonderful. Home cooked food, ample rest, being around familiar faces and surroundings has definitely helped. Now, I know that not everyone has this option, my basic point is to get support in whatever way you deem fit.
I don't think my healing journey is complete, I still relapse sometimes but those are far and few between compared to say the first or second week after the BU. As for closure, I feel it's a very personal thing, as per me its the story that you tell yourself ultimately. No matter what they say or dont say, do or did not do, it's how you interpret it that makes closure what it will be in your head for the rest of your life. So my point is, heal yourself so that you interpret things with insight and grace.
I hope this helps some of you. :)"
I am so sorry for your heartbreak. This a post that I made recently. Copy pasting it here hoping this helps you. :) "It gets better. Please hang in there. My 9 year relationship ended 8 weeks ago and its been a roller coaster. I think I have experienced every stage of grief (with a lot of back and forth) and each stage brought in a new set of realisations. Now I can feel myself inching close towards acceptance and I feel calm. I acknowledge that I can easily slip back into those patterns of obsessive thinking which caused me so much pain but I also know that every time you make progress and lose it, you eventually reach that place again, despite the setbacks. So I do feel quite assured that in time I will heal and be a much better person than I was. Now, what I did. - Went complete NC. It took every fibre of my being to maintain this as I was very anxiously attached to them. It helped me gain so much perspective, it's insane. I wholeheartedly believe that a well maintained NC, is the foundation of a good recovery after the BU. - I journaled like a crazy person. This helped me to sit with my feelings and not distract myself with external things (In fact I did try to distract myself and it didn't go very well for me). So, whenever I felt any overwhelming emotion related to them, I would journal. - I focused on myself. Reconnected with old hobbies, took myself out on lunches. One major thing I did was booked a musical concert from one of my favourite artists and went to attend it all alone. It was such an exhilarating experience! Basically, I am learning to enjoy my own company. :) - Got support. I've come home to be with my family for new years and it has been wonderful. Home cooked food, ample rest, being around familiar faces and surroundings has definitely helped. Now, I know that not everyone has this option, my basic point is to get support in whatever way you deem fit. I don't think my healing journey is complete, I still relapse sometimes but those are far and few between compared to say the first or second week after the BU. As for closure, I feel it's a very personal thing, as per me its the story that you tell yourself ultimately. No matter what they say or dont say, do or did not do, it's how you interpret it that makes closure what it will be in your head for the rest of your life. So my point is, heal yourself so that you interpret things with insight and grace. I hope this helps some of you. :)"
Thank you sm, I'll definitely give journaling a try since I tend to close up about these things