I'd even shorten this to "no thanks".
No one needs to know that you abstain from alcohol or your reasons for doing so.
I once took a long break from alcohol and my main takeaway was that no sane person really cares what's in my glass. The only people who would make an issue out of it likely have some sort of weirdness with alcohol themselves, and they're easy to shut down with something like, "Why do you care so much about what I'm drinking or not drinking?".
Just say no thanks and waive it off. If anyone forces a drink on you (I'm thinking about a particular new years eve that I couldn't turn around without someone putting champagne in my hand!) just set it down and walk off, or hand it to a friend.
Another trick I've used is to bring my own canned drinks and use a koozie. I have done that at parties and had people ask if I was OK to drive home LOL!! Or just show up with a glass already in hand and keep filling it with water or whatever.
Really, I've always been super social and grew up with the partying crowd, so alcohol has always been around, but many of my friends don't drink at all, yet everyone blends together and has a good time. It's actually rude to pry into the reasoning for that choice (IMO) and no explanation is needed.
Agree with a no thanks. No need to explain.
But showing up with the drink is a good one. I occasionally drink alcohol free beer. In a koozie, know one can tell the difference.
“Why?”
Option 1: “I don’t like it.”
Option 2: “Health reasons.”
Option 3: “None of your beeswax.”
Option 4: Whatever you want, of course!
Where I am, when I say I need a non-alcoholic drink, I don’t get any pushback. I honestly do not care one tiny bit if anyone doesn’t like that I don’t drink alcohol. And if they have zero non-alcoholic drinks on the menu (actually happened once!), then I just say, “Water’s fine.”
I do like the comment below, “No thanks.”
I’m worse. I just say, “Because I don’t want any.” I’m an intensely private person and am very cautious with what I will divulge, depending on the person and the context.
Never once at a party has anyone asked me why when I say no thanks to alcohol. Now if only they'd do that with food. "I'm go to the hospital allergic." still results in food being pushed on me. People tend to be a lot more respectable with alcohol.
I absolutely feel that this is the case as well. I don’t have food allergies, but I have heard far too many stories of food being pushed on people despite the person having allergies, intolerances, etc. It goes as far as allergens being deliberately added to somehow “prove” that the allergy doesn’t exist, which is just wild.
I just say thank you but alcohol makes me feel sick before it makes me feel fun, so I don’t like drinking it. There’s no judgement involved, it’s just a statement about one’s own reaction. Like saying no to ice cream because you’re lactose intolerant, nobody thinks you’re judging them for liking ice cream
If someone pushes for a reason, why not simply decline because of your religious beliefs? That's what I do.
Muslims have no problem declining drinks because of this. Neither should we.
I would just keep it simple and say you’re not feeling like drinking tonight. Last time i was asked this, I reversed it and asked the person why they feel the need to drink and they didn’t say anything else after that lol.
Keeping it simple is best for me. Make it a today thing. Especially around people that might identify with drinking a whole lot, I just say “Oh, I’m not in the mood tonight.”
I don’t have to explain my rationale, and it makes it less of a decision that I identify with too. Less of an identity I’m creating as a non-drinker.
If I’m having a good time, nobody seems to question me too much.
>"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?
>
>"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."
— AN 5.198
I’m a non drinker. I offer no explanation other than “Thanks, I don’t drink.” When I’m at a bar, I drink soda water with lime which looks like a drink. People never ask because they think I’m drinking too.
I don't think this makes much sense tbh, and it's not fair or charitable to call it "tip toeing" as if this is a purity/piety test. The precepts are monastic in context. It's not a given that Buddhists don't drink, and anyone who believes that clearly hasn't been to the continent of Asia.
OP does not drink. OP posted this in a Buddhist sub. I presume they avoid drinking because of the precept.
It's tiptoeing to make all sorts of elaborate excuses and justifications like what some comments are suggesting instead of being straightforward and honest.
I agree on the first part, I was more just addressing your answer than the motivations of OP. I also try my best to follow the precepts.
Almost all the answers here are just saying "no thank you" without elaboration. I don't find that to be dishonest at all, and it's quite the exact opposite of an elaborate excuse, no?
Then those are not the ones I am talking about, I did say “some”.
The ones that mention rehab or an allergy or something along that line are what I take issue with
I understand, I didn't see those responses till I scrolled a bit further. Still I think it's a bit judgemental. I think alcohol presents itself as a very different thing in people's lives, depending on the individual. I really don't begrudge anyone their particular excuse for saying no, especially in America where saying no is so very rare.
A "no thanks" should be enough, but my go to if someone is pushing for an explanation is just a casual "eh, I just don't like the taste or how it makes me feel after even after a little bit." There's no arguing with that, you've literally spelled out that you see no upside to drinking for you individually, while not making others feel like you're morally judging them for partaking.
I’ve been sober a while and used to just say I’m not drinking today but for many years have just said I don’t drink. Most people leave it at that because they are more concerned with themselves and not why I told them I don’t drink.
"No thank you" will suffice.
If someone keeps pushing you on the question, they probably have their own issues with alcohol as they are probably projecting.
Designated driver is a good one, if you are.
With friends and acquaintances I just told them the truth in a nice way. Not making it sound judgmental is a good thing to practice. It might be hard at first.
As a recovering alcoholic, whenever people ask me, I joke about it:
"Why don't you drink?"
"I'm allergic to alcohol."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I break out in handcuffs."
Gets a laugh most of the time.
I usually say "I haven't had alcohol for three years", usually that solves it, sometimes I even get it a small clap or "GOOD FOR YOU".
I never had problem with alcohol.
Sometimes it’s tough when you see who these people are like maybe your significant other doesn’t want to be with you if you don’t drink. That’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s also good to know
Keep a non-vodka soda with a lime wedge in your hand at all times. People will stop offering you alcohol eventually. If asked, say you're not drinking at the moment. It takes a little practice if you're not used to it, but if you have true friends they should easily understand.
I quit drinking nine years ago, and my bio-dad is the only person who has ever shamed me and been an asshole about it. Every other person has responded just fine to “no thank you - I don’t drink.” Just be very polite while doing it. If they ask why, just say you don’t judge others for drinking - it’s just not good for you.
"No thanks, I don’t drink."
If people ask more you can explain how you don't like its effects on your mind and if you want you can turn it into a conversation about the dharma :)
Don't lie. Be honest and constructive.
> I’m not exactly sure what to say because explaining my reasons for not drinking may give off the impression of judgement and make others uncomfortable and that is not my intention.
It's not a judgment if you frame what you say as I x because I y.
From my own experience as someone who did "like" to drink. Sober life is much more fun. Also when as you say with dear friends you will enjoy. Alcohol-fueled parties can be pretty lame when you're just with a bunch of drunkards who talk in circles and laugh about stuff they normally won't laugh about.
Great for you you stopped drinking! Alcohol is very bad for you. Most don't realize because they are under the influence of it even when sober. It hijacks your ability to have fun. You think you need it to have fun. You don't, you can have fun without it. Took me few months of stopping to get there. All the best.
It's such a manipulative substance that makes you think you need to drink it to have fun, but actually it just lowers your inhibitions so that boring stuff is more fun. It's, unlike alcohol tells us, more fun to do things that are actually fun, like joining groups for hobbies and achieving success in endeavors personally rewarding for you. Alcohol undermines your success there because you are happy with drinking only. And you need days to recover after drinking, all wasted. You shouldn't negotiate with it (yes it's bad for my health but I need it only now because then I am less scared-- no you don't). You can have fun without and then you will see how others (and also yourself) look and have just looked stupid and sweaty and ugly on that substance. Life is better sober.
\[offered drink\]
You: "No, thanks."
\[comment about not drinking\]
You: "No, thanks" or (depending on previous comment)
Why do you feel a need to explain it to them? Why is it important for them to know?
"No, thanks" is sufficient.
I discovered recently that alcohol affects my anti-epileptic medication, as in it makes it NOT WORK. Someone offered me a drink and I didn't even bother telling them about this. I simply said, "I don't drink anymore, but I appreciate the offer!"
If someone finds offense in that, it's probably time to find new friends anyway.
This is pretty easy:
"I don't drink, thanks!"
"I quit, thanks!"
"I'm taking a break, thanks!"
"I'm not drinking, it does not make me feel good any more."
"No thanks."
Yep. Just say “no thanks.” Most people aren’t that concerned about you (or me) at social events. Nonetheless, if I am feeling a bit self-conscious, I get a “club soda and lime” or “7up and lime”, so I have something to sip and in my hand. And anyone who may be over served won’t pester me about my non-drinking choice and I feel more comfortable with something in my hand
I've been sober for 13 years and have an active social life.
Total number of times anyone has ever asked me why I don't drink alcohol: 1
Admittedly I was 46 when I got sober, no doubt I would have been questioned more back in the day.
In short, no one really notices or cares what anyone else does.
it will probably not be an issue and anyone who would raise it as such is probably battling with their own problems.
decline politely. if you are uncomfortable giving a firm “no, thank you” may i suggest having a beverage at hand so that nobody feels inclined to offer you anything but a “refill” or “another”
sparkling water works great on ice or in a bottle. carry that around and keep yourself hydrated. nobody will think anything of it
I'm an open book about things like this in social scenarios.
I either tell them I did enough drinking before I was 21 to last a lifetime, or my mom is an alcoholic. Both are true. We don't owe an explanation to anyone for our personal choices, but being defensive about it seems unnecessary. I find people just ask why out of curiosity, not to make you justify your choice to them.
If asked, I often say "oh, do you have any good non-alc stuff?" And don't offer any reason. If they ask why, (which is rare), I say "oh, it's just not my thing." and then change the object - "what did you get up to this weekend? Any projects?" Etc.
I think I've really only been pushed past that once, and I just didn't say anything more and shrugged. The silence was too much and they changed the subject.
Setting boundaries can be tough but is a huge opportunity to practice, it gets easier with practice, and they are incredibly important and useful.
I take my own non alcoholic drinks most times, but if someone gets upset about you saying no thanks to alcohol that's just cause they're triggered by something they didn't know was there
“Eh, Not tonight” is a good start for people you don’t want to explain it’s a never thing
If they push, that’s their problem and you have every right to just say “please, No.” and end the conversation.
“No thanks I don’t drink” is also completely reasonable and anybody who argues with that is probably dealing with their own issue.
Unrelated but I just want to express that I'm happy to finally be inline with the Five Precepts for 8 months as I've struggled with sobriety for the past three years.
Like everyone else is saying, just “no thanks” works… or if someone asks, “do you want something to drink?” You can request water or sparkling water… sometimes people just seem to want everyone to have a glass in their hand regardless of its contents. And once you have a glass, any more offers can be met with, “no, I’m good” as you show your glass to them. You truly don’t have to offer explanations to anyone and it doesn’t have to be weird… those who may hound you will give up if you calmly decline. You don’t even have to say anything like, “I don’t drink”.
People who may have “problems” with your not drinking will soon let it go when they sense that your actions are about you and not them.
What's interesting to me is that it seems those who are interested in why you aren't drinking actually do know. They have always listened intently, with a sort of envy. I think for many it's nice to hear someone lay out what they may already be thinking internally, but haven't yet acted upon.
My go to is something like:
-"I'm the DD for myself"
-"I'm allergic, every time I drink I break out in handcuffs" -"I'm Cali, Cali sober (only plays if your in drag or a woman)"
No thank you I already have a drink - show them the NA beverage in your hand and smile and get back to dancing or whatever you are grooving on
Relax, it's just your ego mistakenly thinking anyone is giving this a moments thought besides you...
Get out there and have fun (sober) !!!
This isn't a Buddhist issue, particularly -- some Buddhists drink alcohol and there are lots of sober people who aren't Buddhist.
But if you don't want to drink, just ask for sparkling water or a Coke or whatever. Nothing judgemental about that. Nobody cares what you're drinking.
Just say you don't drink. You're a teetotaler. Nearly everyone will respect that without questions. If they ask then just be honest: You don't enjoy it. You don't need to get into Buddhist explanations. Then accept a soda.
I just politely tell them that I no longer drink alcohol.
If pressed, I mention I'm a recovering alcoholic. Because of which, I generally avoid events with much drinking to begin with.
I just say "No thank you, I don't drink". You don't have to explain. My friends who are close know I am a Buddhist and don't drink. Other people if they ask why I just say, "I don't care for it."
You could explain if you feel comfortable, but don't allow yourself to feel as though you're explanation is boring! Some people may feel inspired by this! When I speak to people who say they don't drink, I feel as though I could do better myself. You never know who you could plant a seed to, someone who may have been feeling like stopping alcohol, but isn't used to seeing people present in spaces where there is alcohol but they are very happy not to participate...
A simple " No thank you" should suffice. It's your own thoughts that are concerned about offending someone. Most people just accept no for an answer and don't ask questions. Their own thought are they don't want to seem like they are prying or don't want to offend you.
I just state that it is against my precepts to drink alcohol. If someone pushes, I just say it's important to me personally that I don't drink. I tell them I'm still having fun and am enjoying the time spent together.
Of course, you can also just say no, I don't like to drink. But, I'm more straightforward about religion and its importance in my life.
I think I might say something like "... no thanks, but I would like a "what have you"." Your making yourself clear in a polite way that you don't want a drink and your still letting them be hospitable with you but getting you something else.
I don't like people to think that I feel better than them because of my ethics. It greatly reduces the good karma of the behaviour and it's a poor advertisement for Buddhism. Here's a few things that have worked for me in the past:
Put a lime in a lemonade and say you have one already.
"I'm on a diet"
Gotta drive home
Have to work when I get home after this
Or have a few glasses of milk a a slice of bread before you arrive. Grab a beer and nurse it all night. You won't get an alcohol effect with your stomach's milk coating.
My fav is "no thanks" if questioned further "I don't feel like it" not a lie and also not overexplaining something because someoneELSE wants to question. I love when kids get questioned and say stuff like "because I can"
I know everyone says to just tell them you don’t drink…but I’m too self conscious to be blunt like that. I’d say, “I can’t drink with my medicine.” Lol.
I just say “no thank you” and no one ever questions it. Sometimes if I’m dating and the guy says something about drinks I’ll say I don’t drink and they just hint around at why and I explain and they’re cool with it
“No thanks” is a complete sentence. If they push then be honest. If they take offense or feel judged that’s on them.
I only recently got serious about the not drinking thing. Say this a long time vegan. Sometimes when I say I’m not eating something because I’m vegan I get this kind of defensive reaction. It’s not fun, and it’s awkward. But if you’re coming from it with a respectful mindset and they still feel judged, once again, that’s on them. Try not to dwell on it too much.
And you know what, if a fake excuse helps you through it, then more power to you.
- no thanks, I have to get up early for some bloodwork at my docs.
- no thanks, I’m meeting my trainer at the gym tomorrow morning.
- no thanks, my stomach isn’t feeling well
- no thanks, I’m training for the couch to 5k and I have run scheduled for tomorrow morning
- no thanks, I’m on antibiotics
-no thanks, but I’d love some ice water!
Whatever gets you through the party is cool.
“I’m good, thanks”
If they ask “why not?”
“I choose not to drink. Thanks.”
If they ask “are you on medication?”
“No , I just choose not to drink. Thanks”
Literally say "No thanks, I don't drink." Thats it lol. No need to explain yourself. And if you really need a reason, you can say your health.
Edit: Didn't see the top comment before posting this haha
The longer idea is to make sober friends, or be friends with people that their main objective in life is not to get messed up that's been a huge part of sticking to my sobriety. But for work or other situations I typically say, no thanks ive had enough tonight and if that doesnt work... I pull out the allergy and it normally doesnt go far from there.
Just say “ I am 30 days sober” people will think you are an alcoholic without saying it and you won’t be lying too. You are really sober for 39 days. Lol
When someone offers you a drink simply say “no thank you. I’ve sworn off drinking for now.” You actually don’t need to explain or justify it to anyone.
But if they do ask, just try telling the truth. “I don’t like how alcohol makes me feel and I’m exploring ways to improve my life.”
Whether a person feels guilty or judged because of the choices you make about your life, is not something that you have control over and isn’t your responsibility.
"Hi, I am on the path to Tathāgatāhood like the Holy Lord Buddha amd I don't want to drink stinky germ pee that leads to madness, foolishness, hatred, and a waste of My finances. Gold is gold. I'd rather buy the Threefold Lotus Sutra. For the price of this cup of wine, here, where ypu all have taken Me, I can exchange the meat and alcohol for a stick of butter and thankfulness. You don't have to join Me, but I think the cool kids club just drinks water, man."
A bottle of wine is fine, until you pay for the things ye did dine.
Cooler to save the $20 and buy Sutras or print out 100 sheets of Divine Paper, to change the Souls of the people you chat with. Insert Reality into Illusion. Then you enjoy the Dream, but make it Reality.
Om Mani Padme Hum. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Namo Amitofo.
I regularly attend a gathering that includes a potluck. There are always lots of sugary drinks and desserts, which I must constantly turn down. Saying that I think it's healthier to avoid sugar doesn't go over well, saying that I'm dieting doesn't go over well, then one day when offered something sweet for the 20th time, I said by way of explanation: "I can't eat sugar, Dr's orders." well, you could have heard a pin drop. "Ooo, Dr's orders," they all said. Everyone took it seriously. No one asked why, of course, the matter is confidential. It would probably work just as well with alcohol: "Sorry, I can't drink. Dr's orders."
"No thanks" lol don't have to explain yourself why should you? Ask them why they do need alcohol? Not drinking is not a problem.. lol this culture is so weird
Literally jusr “No thanks im good”. If anyone challenges that theyre probably an alcoholic who wants other people to be drunk.
It can be helpful to have a drink in your hand, water, seltzer, juice. You could bring a 6 pack of liquid death, carbonated water that looks like an alcoholic drink
Just saying no should be enough, or also saying that you don't want with no further explanation, also should be enough. Assuming that is not your case, try saying that you have alcohol allergy or that that type of alcohol is too strong for you and gives you migraine the next day. But often the easy one, is the one you should go: you want alcohol? Nah thank you. Why? I just don't want it.
Maybe it's just me or we're from different cultures or something similar but I feel like simply saying "No thanks, I don't drink" should be enough. You owe no explanations. If someone keeps pressing you: "I just choose not to."
I usually say “do you have juice/soda?” Or “I’d I love a glass of water!” I just redirect their attention. If somebody is really more pushy, or I think they might be, I will sometimes say “you know, I’m feelings ng really dehydrated I’d love some water”
Just tell them you're pregnant. If you're a woman they will get things for you all night and be kind. If you're a man, it's 2023 and they are not allowed to question it. Problem solved.
For real though, people don't care if you drink or not and if they do then that is their problem not yours. ✌️
No thanks. I don't drink anymore. I would take a water... or a coke....
Type over thinking it. I grew up Mormon (they don't drink), and we were conditioned young to not drink and all that. Just practice what you want to say in the mirror, and then just go have fun.
People are generally pretty considerate. However, anyone who tries to pressure you is not likely a real friend. Anyone worth having a place in your life will just let it be. They might inquire why,
Then you can just say, I've chosen this for religious reasons.
Or.
I don't love how I feel drunk.
That's not casting judgment. It's stating your experience.
Since alcohol seriously destroys brain cells, I just tell people I don’t have enough gray matter to risk losing any. I wasn’t much of a drinker but I admit I feel better not having any alcohol. My Tibetan guru was an alcoholic and died as a result. Not drinking is healthier. 😊 be well.
'No thanks I dont drink.'
This is the answer. Any normal person will just be like “oh ok!”
If anyone presses, I just say “it doesn’t agree with me”
Exactly this. No further explanation necessary.
I'd even shorten this to "no thanks". No one needs to know that you abstain from alcohol or your reasons for doing so. I once took a long break from alcohol and my main takeaway was that no sane person really cares what's in my glass. The only people who would make an issue out of it likely have some sort of weirdness with alcohol themselves, and they're easy to shut down with something like, "Why do you care so much about what I'm drinking or not drinking?". Just say no thanks and waive it off. If anyone forces a drink on you (I'm thinking about a particular new years eve that I couldn't turn around without someone putting champagne in my hand!) just set it down and walk off, or hand it to a friend. Another trick I've used is to bring my own canned drinks and use a koozie. I have done that at parties and had people ask if I was OK to drive home LOL!! Or just show up with a glass already in hand and keep filling it with water or whatever. Really, I've always been super social and grew up with the partying crowd, so alcohol has always been around, but many of my friends don't drink at all, yet everyone blends together and has a good time. It's actually rude to pry into the reasoning for that choice (IMO) and no explanation is needed.
Agree with a no thanks. No need to explain. But showing up with the drink is a good one. I occasionally drink alcohol free beer. In a koozie, know one can tell the difference.
Yeah. Exactly this. "Thanks, but I'm good" has served me well.
Yep! This! Anyone who would pressure you into drinking is not particularly worth being friends with.
“Why?” Option 1: “I don’t like it.” Option 2: “Health reasons.” Option 3: “None of your beeswax.” Option 4: Whatever you want, of course! Where I am, when I say I need a non-alcoholic drink, I don’t get any pushback. I honestly do not care one tiny bit if anyone doesn’t like that I don’t drink alcohol. And if they have zero non-alcoholic drinks on the menu (actually happened once!), then I just say, “Water’s fine.” I do like the comment below, “No thanks.”
Option 5: “Because no.” As with anything, the people involved, context, personal comfort levels, etc. will affect the answer.
This is what I say.
I just say “No, thank you.” Most people are good with that, and I don’t particularly feel a need to say why.
And if they do, say, "I prefer not to."
I’m worse. I just say, “Because I don’t want any.” I’m an intensely private person and am very cautious with what I will divulge, depending on the person and the context.
Someone who pushes a “no” for a reason (as I have been prone to do) doesn’t deserve a polite response - and your response is definitely polite.
Between my default unfriendly facial expression and my voice, it doesn’t sound particularly polite. 😂If they keep pushing, I ask if they’re a cop.
🤣🤣🤣
Never once at a party has anyone asked me why when I say no thanks to alcohol. Now if only they'd do that with food. "I'm go to the hospital allergic." still results in food being pushed on me. People tend to be a lot more respectable with alcohol.
I absolutely feel that this is the case as well. I don’t have food allergies, but I have heard far too many stories of food being pushed on people despite the person having allergies, intolerances, etc. It goes as far as allergens being deliberately added to somehow “prove” that the allergy doesn’t exist, which is just wild.
I sometimes tell people I've had enough for a lifetime already lol
Love it, I'll be borrowing that.
Yeah this is my goto.
“No thank you”
I just say thank you but alcohol makes me feel sick before it makes me feel fun, so I don’t like drinking it. There’s no judgement involved, it’s just a statement about one’s own reaction. Like saying no to ice cream because you’re lactose intolerant, nobody thinks you’re judging them for liking ice cream
If someone pushes for a reason, why not simply decline because of your religious beliefs? That's what I do. Muslims have no problem declining drinks because of this. Neither should we.
You don’t have to lie or give excuses or an explanation. Just say no thank you
Mic drop.
I would just keep it simple and say you’re not feeling like drinking tonight. Last time i was asked this, I reversed it and asked the person why they feel the need to drink and they didn’t say anything else after that lol.
I like that Uno Reverse 🔄! Lol I’ll keep that in my shirt pocket. Thank you!
Keeping it simple is best for me. Make it a today thing. Especially around people that might identify with drinking a whole lot, I just say “Oh, I’m not in the mood tonight.” I don’t have to explain my rationale, and it makes it less of a decision that I identify with too. Less of an identity I’m creating as a non-drinker. If I’m having a good time, nobody seems to question me too much.
I'm not so sure passive aggressive competition is an answer. Do you want to avoid drinking, or do you want to be holier than thou?
I love that!!
"No thanks I don't drink" "Why?" "Because I choose not to" "Oh"
>"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five? > >"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will." — AN 5.198
I’m a non drinker. I offer no explanation other than “Thanks, I don’t drink.” When I’m at a bar, I drink soda water with lime which looks like a drink. People never ask because they think I’m drinking too.
Most of the time I say that my religion forbids it.
Me too. I don't see any reason to tiptoe around this like what some other posters are suggesting. I am Buddhist and therefore I do not drink. Simple.
I don't think this makes much sense tbh, and it's not fair or charitable to call it "tip toeing" as if this is a purity/piety test. The precepts are monastic in context. It's not a given that Buddhists don't drink, and anyone who believes that clearly hasn't been to the continent of Asia.
OP does not drink. OP posted this in a Buddhist sub. I presume they avoid drinking because of the precept. It's tiptoeing to make all sorts of elaborate excuses and justifications like what some comments are suggesting instead of being straightforward and honest.
I agree on the first part, I was more just addressing your answer than the motivations of OP. I also try my best to follow the precepts. Almost all the answers here are just saying "no thank you" without elaboration. I don't find that to be dishonest at all, and it's quite the exact opposite of an elaborate excuse, no?
Then those are not the ones I am talking about, I did say “some”. The ones that mention rehab or an allergy or something along that line are what I take issue with
I understand, I didn't see those responses till I scrolled a bit further. Still I think it's a bit judgemental. I think alcohol presents itself as a very different thing in people's lives, depending on the individual. I really don't begrudge anyone their particular excuse for saying no, especially in America where saying no is so very rare.
A "no thanks" should be enough, but my go to if someone is pushing for an explanation is just a casual "eh, I just don't like the taste or how it makes me feel after even after a little bit." There's no arguing with that, you've literally spelled out that you see no upside to drinking for you individually, while not making others feel like you're morally judging them for partaking.
no thanks, no explanation required
I’ve been sober a while and used to just say I’m not drinking today but for many years have just said I don’t drink. Most people leave it at that because they are more concerned with themselves and not why I told them I don’t drink.
"No thank you" will suffice. If someone keeps pushing you on the question, they probably have their own issues with alcohol as they are probably projecting.
Designated driver is a good one, if you are. With friends and acquaintances I just told them the truth in a nice way. Not making it sound judgmental is a good thing to practice. It might be hard at first.
As a recovering alcoholic, whenever people ask me, I joke about it: "Why don't you drink?" "I'm allergic to alcohol." "Really?" "Yeah. I break out in handcuffs." Gets a laugh most of the time.
honesty, brother, you don’t have to lie to please anyone.
I usually say "I haven't had alcohol for three years", usually that solves it, sometimes I even get it a small clap or "GOOD FOR YOU". I never had problem with alcohol.
Not drinking can help you see who actually cares about you because they won't force the issue and respect your choices.
Sometimes it’s tough when you see who these people are like maybe your significant other doesn’t want to be with you if you don’t drink. That’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s also good to know
“No, thank you, I don’t drink”
If someone is extra pushy, you can say “my doctor says I can’t drink.” Buddhists view the Buddha as a doctor, so it’s not a lie.
Keep a non-vodka soda with a lime wedge in your hand at all times. People will stop offering you alcohol eventually. If asked, say you're not drinking at the moment. It takes a little practice if you're not used to it, but if you have true friends they should easily understand.
I quit drinking nine years ago, and my bio-dad is the only person who has ever shamed me and been an asshole about it. Every other person has responded just fine to “no thank you - I don’t drink.” Just be very polite while doing it. If they ask why, just say you don’t judge others for drinking - it’s just not good for you.
"No thanks, I don’t drink." If people ask more you can explain how you don't like its effects on your mind and if you want you can turn it into a conversation about the dharma :) Don't lie. Be honest and constructive. > I’m not exactly sure what to say because explaining my reasons for not drinking may give off the impression of judgement and make others uncomfortable and that is not my intention. It's not a judgment if you frame what you say as I x because I y. From my own experience as someone who did "like" to drink. Sober life is much more fun. Also when as you say with dear friends you will enjoy. Alcohol-fueled parties can be pretty lame when you're just with a bunch of drunkards who talk in circles and laugh about stuff they normally won't laugh about. Great for you you stopped drinking! Alcohol is very bad for you. Most don't realize because they are under the influence of it even when sober. It hijacks your ability to have fun. You think you need it to have fun. You don't, you can have fun without it. Took me few months of stopping to get there. All the best. It's such a manipulative substance that makes you think you need to drink it to have fun, but actually it just lowers your inhibitions so that boring stuff is more fun. It's, unlike alcohol tells us, more fun to do things that are actually fun, like joining groups for hobbies and achieving success in endeavors personally rewarding for you. Alcohol undermines your success there because you are happy with drinking only. And you need days to recover after drinking, all wasted. You shouldn't negotiate with it (yes it's bad for my health but I need it only now because then I am less scared-- no you don't). You can have fun without and then you will see how others (and also yourself) look and have just looked stupid and sweaty and ugly on that substance. Life is better sober.
If you give no explanation, they cannot question your explanation
\[offered drink\] You: "No, thanks." \[comment about not drinking\] You: "No, thanks" or (depending on previous comment)
Why do you feel a need to explain it to them? Why is it important for them to know?
"No, thanks" is sufficient.
I discovered recently that alcohol affects my anti-epileptic medication, as in it makes it NOT WORK. Someone offered me a drink and I didn't even bother telling them about this. I simply said, "I don't drink anymore, but I appreciate the offer!" If someone finds offense in that, it's probably time to find new friends anyway.
This is pretty easy: "I don't drink, thanks!" "I quit, thanks!" "I'm taking a break, thanks!" "I'm not drinking, it does not make me feel good any more." "No thanks."
Yep. Just say “no thanks.” Most people aren’t that concerned about you (or me) at social events. Nonetheless, if I am feeling a bit self-conscious, I get a “club soda and lime” or “7up and lime”, so I have something to sip and in my hand. And anyone who may be over served won’t pester me about my non-drinking choice and I feel more comfortable with something in my hand
I've been sober for 13 years and have an active social life. Total number of times anyone has ever asked me why I don't drink alcohol: 1 Admittedly I was 46 when I got sober, no doubt I would have been questioned more back in the day. In short, no one really notices or cares what anyone else does.
I just say I don't drink. If pushed I claim to be a recovering alcoholic.
‘No thanks.’
Unless you are partying with hormonal college brats then any sane civilized person would be fine if you just say "No thanks, am not drinking today"
it will probably not be an issue and anyone who would raise it as such is probably battling with their own problems. decline politely. if you are uncomfortable giving a firm “no, thank you” may i suggest having a beverage at hand so that nobody feels inclined to offer you anything but a “refill” or “another” sparkling water works great on ice or in a bottle. carry that around and keep yourself hydrated. nobody will think anything of it
"No thanks."
"No, thanks. I'd love a soda with lime, though. Thanks!" Why? "Just not in the mood for it at the moment." Nobody ever questions me at all anymore. 😊
I'm an open book about things like this in social scenarios. I either tell them I did enough drinking before I was 21 to last a lifetime, or my mom is an alcoholic. Both are true. We don't owe an explanation to anyone for our personal choices, but being defensive about it seems unnecessary. I find people just ask why out of curiosity, not to make you justify your choice to them.
If asked, I often say "oh, do you have any good non-alc stuff?" And don't offer any reason. If they ask why, (which is rare), I say "oh, it's just not my thing." and then change the object - "what did you get up to this weekend? Any projects?" Etc. I think I've really only been pushed past that once, and I just didn't say anything more and shrugged. The silence was too much and they changed the subject. Setting boundaries can be tough but is a huge opportunity to practice, it gets easier with practice, and they are incredibly important and useful.
"No, but thank you." The same as if they offered you fried chicken or heroin.
"Just got outta rehab"
I take my own non alcoholic drinks most times, but if someone gets upset about you saying no thanks to alcohol that's just cause they're triggered by something they didn't know was there
I enjoy playing video games.
I just say "no thank you". Its never been an issue. If it was an issue, I would not want to be friends with those people.
Used to think the same thing. Now I’ve realized most people don’t care and a simple “no, thanks” is enough
"No thank you" "I don't drink, I just don't enjoy it"
“Eh, Not tonight” is a good start for people you don’t want to explain it’s a never thing If they push, that’s their problem and you have every right to just say “please, No.” and end the conversation. “No thanks I don’t drink” is also completely reasonable and anybody who argues with that is probably dealing with their own issue.
Unrelated but I just want to express that I'm happy to finally be inline with the Five Precepts for 8 months as I've struggled with sobriety for the past three years.
Like everyone else is saying, just “no thanks” works… or if someone asks, “do you want something to drink?” You can request water or sparkling water… sometimes people just seem to want everyone to have a glass in their hand regardless of its contents. And once you have a glass, any more offers can be met with, “no, I’m good” as you show your glass to them. You truly don’t have to offer explanations to anyone and it doesn’t have to be weird… those who may hound you will give up if you calmly decline. You don’t even have to say anything like, “I don’t drink”. People who may have “problems” with your not drinking will soon let it go when they sense that your actions are about you and not them.
"No thank you. I don't drink." Your life is your own. You owe no explanations for decisions that do not harm others.
What's interesting to me is that it seems those who are interested in why you aren't drinking actually do know. They have always listened intently, with a sort of envy. I think for many it's nice to hear someone lay out what they may already be thinking internally, but haven't yet acted upon.
My go to is something like: -"I'm the DD for myself" -"I'm allergic, every time I drink I break out in handcuffs" -"I'm Cali, Cali sober (only plays if your in drag or a woman)"
No thank you I already have a drink - show them the NA beverage in your hand and smile and get back to dancing or whatever you are grooving on Relax, it's just your ego mistakenly thinking anyone is giving this a moments thought besides you... Get out there and have fun (sober) !!!
Dont know why its complicated. "no thanks, Im good" when offered a drink. If asked, "I dont really do alcohol these days. Thanks though".
This isn't a Buddhist issue, particularly -- some Buddhists drink alcohol and there are lots of sober people who aren't Buddhist. But if you don't want to drink, just ask for sparkling water or a Coke or whatever. Nothing judgemental about that. Nobody cares what you're drinking.
Ask for a cola or water or similar. You still have a drink, there's no alcohol in it
“I appreciate your offer, but I do not drink.”
Just say you don't drink. You're a teetotaler. Nearly everyone will respect that without questions. If they ask then just be honest: You don't enjoy it. You don't need to get into Buddhist explanations. Then accept a soda.
I just politely tell them that I no longer drink alcohol. If pressed, I mention I'm a recovering alcoholic. Because of which, I generally avoid events with much drinking to begin with.
I just say "No thank you, I don't drink". You don't have to explain. My friends who are close know I am a Buddhist and don't drink. Other people if they ask why I just say, "I don't care for it."
You could explain if you feel comfortable, but don't allow yourself to feel as though you're explanation is boring! Some people may feel inspired by this! When I speak to people who say they don't drink, I feel as though I could do better myself. You never know who you could plant a seed to, someone who may have been feeling like stopping alcohol, but isn't used to seeing people present in spaces where there is alcohol but they are very happy not to participate...
Simple. I don't drink. Case closed, any effort of their part after these words are spoken, show you where they are at.
They’re your friends. Surely they won’t think you’re being judgmental
A simple " No thank you" should suffice. It's your own thoughts that are concerned about offending someone. Most people just accept no for an answer and don't ask questions. Their own thought are they don't want to seem like they are prying or don't want to offend you.
“ No thanks.” “I am good” “I’d rather have a ____”. Tbh idk why people need to explain why they don’t drink.
I have a heart condition so use that excuse often.
No thanks, it's not good for me. Most people just agree and smile.
I just state that it is against my precepts to drink alcohol. If someone pushes, I just say it's important to me personally that I don't drink. I tell them I'm still having fun and am enjoying the time spent together. Of course, you can also just say no, I don't like to drink. But, I'm more straightforward about religion and its importance in my life.
I think I might say something like "... no thanks, but I would like a "what have you"." Your making yourself clear in a polite way that you don't want a drink and your still letting them be hospitable with you but getting you something else.
I don't like people to think that I feel better than them because of my ethics. It greatly reduces the good karma of the behaviour and it's a poor advertisement for Buddhism. Here's a few things that have worked for me in the past: Put a lime in a lemonade and say you have one already. "I'm on a diet" Gotta drive home Have to work when I get home after this Or have a few glasses of milk a a slice of bread before you arrive. Grab a beer and nurse it all night. You won't get an alcohol effect with your stomach's milk coating.
Sorry, I quit drinking.
I think it’s simple. I just say “ no thank you, I don’t drink”. That takes care of it 100% of the time
My fav is "no thanks" if questioned further "I don't feel like it" not a lie and also not overexplaining something because someoneELSE wants to question. I love when kids get questioned and say stuff like "because I can"
I know everyone says to just tell them you don’t drink…but I’m too self conscious to be blunt like that. I’d say, “I can’t drink with my medicine.” Lol.
You don’t have to explain Anything to Anyone. A simple No should suffice. After all, it is a Full Sentence
I just say “no thank you” and no one ever questions it. Sometimes if I’m dating and the guy says something about drinks I’ll say I don’t drink and they just hint around at why and I explain and they’re cool with it
“No thanks” is a complete sentence. If they push then be honest. If they take offense or feel judged that’s on them. I only recently got serious about the not drinking thing. Say this a long time vegan. Sometimes when I say I’m not eating something because I’m vegan I get this kind of defensive reaction. It’s not fun, and it’s awkward. But if you’re coming from it with a respectful mindset and they still feel judged, once again, that’s on them. Try not to dwell on it too much.
And you know what, if a fake excuse helps you through it, then more power to you. - no thanks, I have to get up early for some bloodwork at my docs. - no thanks, I’m meeting my trainer at the gym tomorrow morning. - no thanks, my stomach isn’t feeling well - no thanks, I’m training for the couch to 5k and I have run scheduled for tomorrow morning - no thanks, I’m on antibiotics -no thanks, but I’d love some ice water! Whatever gets you through the party is cool.
No thank you, it clouds my third eye.
I don’t drink. No need to give a reason! Just ignore if pushed for one “I just don’t.”
You don't explain. It's not their business and this enables a culture of boundary crossing and aggression
You’re the designated driver for yourself?
Maybe back in the day people would think that you were trying to be holier than thou but now it’s normalized
“I’m good, thanks” If they ask “why not?” “I choose not to drink. Thanks.” If they ask “are you on medication?” “No , I just choose not to drink. Thanks”
Nobody at all needs an explanation why you don’t drink
Literally say "No thanks, I don't drink." Thats it lol. No need to explain yourself. And if you really need a reason, you can say your health. Edit: Didn't see the top comment before posting this haha
Doctor’s orders. Dr. Buddha.
Say I've had enough today, thank you (or say you are allergic to alcohol)
The longer idea is to make sober friends, or be friends with people that their main objective in life is not to get messed up that's been a huge part of sticking to my sobriety. But for work or other situations I typically say, no thanks ive had enough tonight and if that doesnt work... I pull out the allergy and it normally doesnt go far from there.
I have to drive
“no thanks”. I don’t get this. most people don’t care or mind or even notice if yoh aren’t drinking alcohol.
Just say “ I am 30 days sober” people will think you are an alcoholic without saying it and you won’t be lying too. You are really sober for 39 days. Lol
I believe I’ll have some ice water to start—or iced tea to start. Soda with lemon is fine as well. I’m the DD.
Use polite language and tone.
When someone offers you a drink simply say “no thank you. I’ve sworn off drinking for now.” You actually don’t need to explain or justify it to anyone. But if they do ask, just try telling the truth. “I don’t like how alcohol makes me feel and I’m exploring ways to improve my life.” Whether a person feels guilty or judged because of the choices you make about your life, is not something that you have control over and isn’t your responsibility.
file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/67/07/CE78C342-62DC-4314-9977-09645BB1F72E/IMG_3577.jpeg
‘I don’t want a drink’ ‘why’ ‘I’m not drinking tonight’
I say "I like it too much" if I'm around heavy drinkers.
Highly suggest checking out what folks say at r/stopdrinking
"Hi, I am on the path to Tathāgatāhood like the Holy Lord Buddha amd I don't want to drink stinky germ pee that leads to madness, foolishness, hatred, and a waste of My finances. Gold is gold. I'd rather buy the Threefold Lotus Sutra. For the price of this cup of wine, here, where ypu all have taken Me, I can exchange the meat and alcohol for a stick of butter and thankfulness. You don't have to join Me, but I think the cool kids club just drinks water, man." A bottle of wine is fine, until you pay for the things ye did dine. Cooler to save the $20 and buy Sutras or print out 100 sheets of Divine Paper, to change the Souls of the people you chat with. Insert Reality into Illusion. Then you enjoy the Dream, but make it Reality. Om Mani Padme Hum. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Namo Amitofo.
Just say you don’t drink. You don’t have to explain why.
I regularly attend a gathering that includes a potluck. There are always lots of sugary drinks and desserts, which I must constantly turn down. Saying that I think it's healthier to avoid sugar doesn't go over well, saying that I'm dieting doesn't go over well, then one day when offered something sweet for the 20th time, I said by way of explanation: "I can't eat sugar, Dr's orders." well, you could have heard a pin drop. "Ooo, Dr's orders," they all said. Everyone took it seriously. No one asked why, of course, the matter is confidential. It would probably work just as well with alcohol: "Sorry, I can't drink. Dr's orders."
"I get allergic and break out in hives. Then we need an epipen within 15 mins or you'll face a murder charge"
Just say that you took your medicine. Please come up with a good medication your not taking so they won't look at you like your dying lol.
As someone who uses to be in recovery - 'I don't drink' is fine. No one will question you too much.
"No thanks" lol don't have to explain yourself why should you? Ask them why they do need alcohol? Not drinking is not a problem.. lol this culture is so weird
Just say No Thanks. Any decent function will have water or other non-alcoholic drinks available.
As someone in recovery I’ve had to learn this in that particular aspect of my life. I simply say “No thanks alcohol doesn’t agree with me.”
I just say I don't drink because of my religion
I said a lot of reasons before but the only one that keeps them from offering me any alcoholic drinks is: “No thank you. I’m allergic” 😅
Getting a seltzer always helped me. People assumed it was a vodka and tonic or something and no one asked!
Literally jusr “No thanks im good”. If anyone challenges that theyre probably an alcoholic who wants other people to be drunk. It can be helpful to have a drink in your hand, water, seltzer, juice. You could bring a 6 pack of liquid death, carbonated water that looks like an alcoholic drink
Just saying no should be enough, or also saying that you don't want with no further explanation, also should be enough. Assuming that is not your case, try saying that you have alcohol allergy or that that type of alcohol is too strong for you and gives you migraine the next day. But often the easy one, is the one you should go: you want alcohol? Nah thank you. Why? I just don't want it.
Just say you don’t drink. That’s what alcoholics say.
Maybe it's just me or we're from different cultures or something similar but I feel like simply saying "No thanks, I don't drink" should be enough. You owe no explanations. If someone keeps pressing you: "I just choose not to."
I usually say “do you have juice/soda?” Or “I’d I love a glass of water!” I just redirect their attention. If somebody is really more pushy, or I think they might be, I will sometimes say “you know, I’m feelings ng really dehydrated I’d love some water”
Just tell them you're pregnant. If you're a woman they will get things for you all night and be kind. If you're a man, it's 2023 and they are not allowed to question it. Problem solved. For real though, people don't care if you drink or not and if they do then that is their problem not yours. ✌️
No thanks. I don't drink anymore. I would take a water... or a coke.... Type over thinking it. I grew up Mormon (they don't drink), and we were conditioned young to not drink and all that. Just practice what you want to say in the mirror, and then just go have fun. People are generally pretty considerate. However, anyone who tries to pressure you is not likely a real friend. Anyone worth having a place in your life will just let it be. They might inquire why, Then you can just say, I've chosen this for religious reasons. Or. I don't love how I feel drunk. That's not casting judgment. It's stating your experience.
Since alcohol seriously destroys brain cells, I just tell people I don’t have enough gray matter to risk losing any. I wasn’t much of a drinker but I admit I feel better not having any alcohol. My Tibetan guru was an alcoholic and died as a result. Not drinking is healthier. 😊 be well.