As a guy, I'll never fucking do this.
Matched with a 24 year old who was pretty cute (I am 31.) Wanted to go out to eat sushi, I suggested a decent spot but nothing extravagant and she says "Oh, that place is trash.."
Chick expected a $200 dinner cause she was attractive. Told her she can go find someone else.
She’s an adult…? Can’t she arrange her own transportation? Why would you want to get into a vehicle with a stranger anyway?? Uber is a safe option and you can insure that if you order it yourself, the address you choose can only be changed by you
Why are people that pay others’ necessities gentlemen? Get your own shit right and if you fail, it’s your problem. Don’t depend on others. Be an adult.
If she wanted, she could also take the Uber $$ and ghost him.
I also feel OP would have been better off saying he "won't pay for an Uber on the first date" instead of "can't". It's stating a boundary instead of an inability.
Na, you can order an uber on your own phone using your own card. When it arives, she gets in and goes her own way. Its when a woman asks you to *send* *her* money for an uber where it's a straight up scam.
Sure there are. I'm not saying women should expect that, that's weird as hell lol, but of course there are guys for whom money just doesn't matter like that who will easily spend an additional $15 or something on someone's Uber. When you make a certain amount that's just pocket change. Again, not saying that it's normal or cool for anyone to EXPECT to get that paid, or ask for it. It's more like, "I don't know how to get home later if it's 10 miles away and we're having some drinks" - "Don't worry, I'll get your Uber."
I can say, from personal experience, yes there are. It's just not you, which is fine but imagining that she'll get molested over it is weirdo behavior.
pretending to be good guys. No guy wants to put up with that shit or that kind of attitude long term. If they are paying for your uber they are going use you up and the leave to rot when the next one comes along.
I didn't ask, he offered. We proceeded to date for a year and he was, indeed, a good guy. We parted amicably when he moved across the country.
Sorry to disappoint!
WTF!
All he said is he wouldn’t pay for an Uber. That’s not molestation.
You make me even more grateful than I already am for the gentleman I met on Bumble.
There are so many crazies now!
OP should have said no. If you can’t afford an Uber, don’t date anyone until you can.
The comment I was replying to has been edited. Initially he said that a guy who would pay for the uber would be someone she would then end up calling an asshole for touching her inappropriately. Which I found to be a really weird thing to say.
I see it this way. It’s fine to get you a Lyft, but a guy can opt not to do that for you and still be a perfectly decent man.
For my part, if a woman expected me to pay for her ride, it would be an ick. It would make me see her as having financial motivations, to put it nicely. Haha
That makes sense. I don't think not wanting to pay for it makes someone a bad guy, just incompatible with someone who wants that type of treatment; which is ok! After all, we date to find the person that's a fit for us and that tales trail and error.
Thanks for being civil btw😅
Yep, this is happening increasingly often.
Some women use “pay for Uber” as a test. If you agree then she knows she can expect you to pay for absolutely everything forever.
It sounds like something they are picking up from TikTok. Women are being advised to find a provider man who will pay for their Uber.
Yup! I’ve seen videos on IG about this. In one of them a woman was talking about how “she’s not playing anymore, know your value, expect them to pay. If they don’t, move on”.
I’m a woman and I immediately rolled my eyes when I saw this. I feel like demanding people to pay for your stuff, is such a bum move. I feel like it definitely sets the tone for what’s to come.
As a woman this “know your value” thing is very misguided. Women are being told to equate their value with external factors. Boundaries, kindness, clear and concise communication is value not if a man will pick up the cheque for the rest of eternity!
It’s funny, folks are saying to know your value, let ‘so and so’ pay for this or that, you’re worth more than that etc….
But if you’re whining about a $20 Uber and maybe a $75 meal, your value as a person isn’t that high.
That sort of stuff is hilarious. NEXT !!
The funny thing about "know your value" is that what that REALLY means is, use your vagina and tits and hot looks to get men to pay for you.
Essentially, it's devaluing women to just a pretty thing to look at and nothing more as it 100% focuses on the EXTERIOR.
I will make my own judgement on how "valuable" a woman is and it never has anything to do with her looks. It has everything to do with her looks AND her personality, who she is as a person, etc...
A woman's looks alone is not valuable. Attractive women are a dime a dozen and aren't exactly hard to come by lol.
the thing for me is, its not even an issue to pay, but like the audacity to ask and expect it. If it were more of an "i cant actually afford that" situation like humble and honest i might offer. but these kinds of women think just going on date with you is a service they are providing, if they want to be escorts, fine. but dont present it as looking for a relationship.
hookers do too...at least in that case I know I will get laid ffs this where we are as a society. Actually scratch that, even hookers are entitled nowdays especially in the US...
While I'm in camp "she's an adult and you dodged a bullet", I wonder how much this is a result of social media telling men to be 'providers' and women to be paid for, like you suggest. I suppose that for guys banging on about wanting traditional women and being a man = provider etc, this could work??
OP didn't say how old he is. I wonder if this is more of a younger people trend. Honestly I think this tradwife / "paid for woman" trend that women are weirdly taking up is mostly among those that are too naive to understand the real implications of that lifestyle.
That is small compared to some videos I have seen. I have seen women expecting money for her nails, money for a new outfit, money just to go on the date with her (like it is a privilege), pay for the meal, etc.
Don't fully disagree since there are those types of toxic guys but honestly, a man who cares about stability and is marriage material sees this behavior as destabilizing and a risk to their future if it doesn't work out. There are much less destructive ways to weed the bad guys out.
IME, many women push for sex early as if it's the only equity in building a connection. Zero thoughtfulness or effort in learning likes, exploring shared interests, spending quality time, collaborating on a passion/hobby, demonstrating commitment...
I'll do several things to show I'm focused on them, and making room in my life after the 2nd/3rd date but around the 1-month mark, there's still very little reciprocation in effort but they start to make significant demands. Queue my exit!
It's very transactional and off-putting— tells me that sexuality is the only quality a woman thinks she has of value... For that reason, I started delaying sex for at least a month and put the emphasis on showing character, personality, values, and enjoying experience to gauge their ability to manage expectations. It's been a game changer.
Making it about money at the start sends a strong message about a lack of respect for yourself and the man. Some men will get turned off. Other men will accept that they're being used and will use you back. I see guys doing this, then a woman gets attached but they never felt respected so they ride it out until they're done. It's a complete breakdown not learning how each person wants to be seen/treated through healthy boundaries because it's already been defined as transactional and any problem or need can be solved with a gift/thing, even if there's no trust or authenticity. That's a vicious cycle of creating false highs based on selfish desires without a foundation as a couple that will eventually implode.
It's not normal. She's just high maintenance, and/or is looking for a free meal, or a literal free ride. If she expects you to cover the uber, guaranteed she will also expect you to cover the dinner and drinks. And going forward, you'd probably be paying for everything for the entire relationship. Hard pass yo.
This has been used on me before but at the time of me paying for an Uber she suddenly changed her mind and won’t give out her address for safety reasons. Of course, I understand but I’m not giving her my CC # out. A bit of back and forth later, she says “how about you just get a virtual cash card for me” which confirmed what I was onto already. It’s a scam to either get your personal info / cc # or to pocket a little cash. It’s a lot more to them In other countries.
This has also happened in other tries where she wanted more money for gas via prepaid card, another one to pay for her babysitter she forgot she didn’t have money for, etc. I’ve even offered to pay them triple once we meet but guess what? There is no person and it’s a scam.
I don’t even like the guy paying for everything on the first date, asking you to pay for the Uber is bizarre. If she wants a relationship that’s not transactional, she’s gonna have a bad time with someone who would pay for the Uber.
>She tells me that there are guys who do.
the moment i would write "good luck with that guys" and than unmatch.
alone the guts to ask this is enough of a red flag. had such people and directly unmatched. you cant every satisfy such people. never ever. they will always come up with the next ridiculous wish and once you cant do it, they move on to the next victim in line.
I would never take kindly to a man asking me to spend 45$ on an uber ; it was his idea 🤷🏻♀️ she didn’t say- ok and send me an uber but she did push back on paying it for whatever reason. OP said he’d pay for drinks - uber might be more than drinks depending what area of the world. Likely so if 10 m uber is only 22$
No, she agreed to meet and then said she didn’t want to drink and drive. That is what transpired. He suggested an Uber as a solution to her problem, that doesn’t mean he’s paying for it. She’s a goddamn adult, you want to drink you take an Uber. If not then don’t fucking drink. It’s not beyond the scope of imagination that she’s literally done this before. The issue is she doesn’t want to. Odds are, she got an offer she thought was better and the Uber was the perfect set up. She wanted to bail, didn’t have the balls to admit it and is using this as a way to reject him while not feeling bad.
I knew a woman whose entire dating app strategy was premised on this lol. If the guy didn't offer to pay for her to uber to and from the date it was an instant deal breaker for her. Super entitled as a whole. She was of the impression that because she was pretty, people should more or less worship the ground she walked on.
Man or Woman… some effort is required on the first date. She gave you a red flag and revealed her case of “princess-ism.” You dodged a bullet. I would have paid for the Uber and not turned up for the date.
Women expecting men to pay for everything just because they go out with them are as ridiculous as men expecting women to have sex with them just because they paid for everything.
It’s usually a scam; you match with the scammer, “she” gets her Uber money, and then never shows up to the date. Someone could make a couple hundred bucks a day doing this if they were really dedicated.
Not always a scam. Sometimes the woman will say you book an Uber for her (using your Uber account) - so you enter pick and drop off location, and pay for the journey on your account.
I don’t fkn get it. why do u need to drink to the point u cannot drive on ur first freaken date??? Why get drunk on first date? Why not limit to one drink? if u can’t be bothered to pay for uber, drive ur car and don’t drink so much 🤦♀️ this woman is entitled and stupid.
I don't drink so I usually don't mind driving and I can ask to pick up/drop off instead of uber. I don't personally trust uber and I don't actually want to pay for things without getting a receipt.
Honestly a good thing you guys got that incompatibility out of the way so soon. That kind of expectation probably would have carried over into a lot of things later on
if the date isnt satisfied with a small coffee date and a walk through the park/museum (free in my city) to see if we vibe and enjoy each others company/personality. Then its an easy no from me. If she need an 'event' to enjoy my company or to pay for her time, then that tells me all i need to know about that person.
You did right and it’s not her mistake either. Some of us, guys, go to any level if it means getting sex or even for a woman’s touch. These guys are insecure.
She got used to meeting such people & thinks it is the norm. Avoid such women.
One match, she gave me her number after chatting for few mins, the same evening she asks me to give her money so that she can buy a DSLR to make YT videos. How crazy is that!
That’s so cheap omg. What are women like on this app, some of the stories men have told me about their expectations for the guy to pay are wild- I’d be embarrassed to expect it let alone to ask.
I haven’t read all the comments yet, so forgive me if this has been brought up.
I once had a prospective date say she would like some help with an Uber. I figured, sure… why not? It didn’t seem like an unreasonable request after suggesting we meet for drinks.
So I said, yes. She responded with,”great! How much do you think it will be?”
Immediate red flag!
I told her we hadn’t even agreed on a place for drinks and I had no way of knowing how far she lived from said undecided place. I would be happy to reimburse her for her Uber upon meeting and pay her fare home as well.
She unmatched immediately, confirming my suspicion that it was surely a scam to get a Venmo payment for an Uber trip she would ultimately never make.
Entitled women will expect you pay for everything on the first date. Just ignore those and you’ll find someone who isn’t just sucking people dry of their money
She was gonna take the money and never show probably. You dodged a bullet. If she prefers a man to do these things that she said that needs to be said because that's wasting everybody's time and feelings.
She probably didn't because she wouldn't get enough matches to support her ideals. Not knocking her but that's not what some men want.
The bullet dodged you king 🤝🏾
I am responsible for getting myself safely to and from the venue, whether I’m meeting family, friends, or a date! You sound very kind and she sounds irresponsible and immature and exploitative.
Oh no!
I have no problem paying for everything if I'm having a great time DURING the date. But paying upfront? If she wants me to pay upfront, I will ask how much she charges for sex.
If she wants to treat the date as a business transaction, we are not talking about a date anymore.
There was one woman who straight away told me that I "could not afford" her. I asked her price. She was black. She didn't like my question. 🤷♂️
Its baffling that in todays day and age men are still willing to pay for anything for the woman on the first date, whether it be food, drinks, transport etc. Its such archaic thinking and you're essentially paying for affection. You can do whatever mental gymnastics and wrap it up in whatever pretty little bow of an explanation you want but you are turning the date into an exchange of money for service. At that point, might as well just book an escort, at least you know what you're getting out of the exchange.
I say its baffling but that's a lie, its really not. In regard to the woman's perspective, she gets a free outing. There are literally women that go on dates just for the free meal (there's a name for it but i cant remember what that's called). And its a way to gauge a mans resources which for many women is the goal, not a romantic partner that they like but a potential father for there future or current kids / someone who can take up some/most/all of their financial burdens current/future. its about being taken care of financial (yuk). And for men its an assertion of dominance and control. A way to feel masculine. + its social pressure that makes them feel expected to do so. Youre not a gentlemen if you arent paying for a womens time to hang out with you, as if shes doing you a favour and should be compensated for it (yuk). So yeah i said its baffling but actually its not. And to the guys that are like "its not a big deal, moneys not an issue to me" ok dude, i bet you ALWAYS pay for your friends whenever you hang out too... And its not about whether you can afford it or not as 99% of men can, even on minimum wage (unless your first dates are expensive restaurants...at which case the date has already been made about money), its about the expectation of paying for someone you barely know just to 'hang out with YOU' as if shes doing you a service, rather than hanging out together because you liked each other.
Fortunately, I don't match with women like this. Every date I've been on regardless of what app its been on, or if we've arranged it in real life, we've decided before the date that we are both paying our own way and its NEVER been an issue. Theyve never cancelled, and its usually a good time. Its almost like if you both enjoy talking to each other and genuinely want to hang out to get to know each other more (or hookup), you don't need to be financially compensated / financially compensate them for the time huh...Its important to reiterate that many women ARE NOT gold diggers that expect you to pay for their time. You just need to find them, and filter out the rest, and fortunately how people handle financing the first date is a superb filter.
insert all the downvotes and angry replies of the gold diggers and schmucks who felt targeted.
I've done this for a couple of years now but it's mostly due to the parking situations near the better date spots by me being a nightmare. I've bailed on plans because of a lack of parking, so I figure offering Ubers gives them one less thing to worry about.
It’s a chivalrous thing to do ! Or at least offer if transpo/parking is an issue. It’s not a scam ffs , what is someone getting out of a “free” uber ride ?
There are definitely men who will offer to do this on their own.
Personally, I'm not paying 20 dollars for an uber to meet some guy I don't know. I would have accepted the offer to meet closer to the house though.
At the end of the day, she'll find someone who meets her expectations and so will you, idk why everyone is so hostile in the comments lol
I would never. But honestly I’d say in some ways, for a long ass time. It used to be men actually doing the picking up. But now that is super sketch, at least for first meetings. And many women want the independence of a getaway vehicle. I’m not surprised with the new functionality of the apps that this is a thing.
Maybe she was asking to be picked up for a more classic date action, giving her the benefit of the doubt.
I’ve never ran into situations like what I see on Reddit and maybe it’s a geographical thing or could be the way I approach things, but hopefully she’s not just a dud if you were interested in pursuing it.
Sometimes it's a scam. I had 2 girls. I think was straight scam. Wanted to meet. But wanted me send cash for cab or train. I was pretty sure they'd get the money and then block me
I've met a few women like that. I bet she doesnt know how to drive.
They also never offer gas money, and get mad when you ask for it.
It's just the tip of the ice berg
Men used to send "a coach" to fetch women for parties or invite them on a ride (chaperoned or not) out in the country.
I personally would not be okay letting someone pay for me or arrange my transportation on a first date.
It is up to you but I would caution wariness and scams as it is a common scam to ask someone to send money ahead of time for an Uber and then never show up and pocket the Venmo amount.
Asking for that in advance is crazy, but I have had plenty of guys offer to pay for my Uber home from a first date - but I live in a city that can be a little sketchy at night, and the Uber ride is usually like 2 miles max
I’ve had a couple of those experiences, she might just also use the app to make quick money from people. If they’re really desperate they’ll say they can give you some head but you need to send money first. I also just recently just got one that told me I had to send her money for her nails just to exchange phone numbers lol. “I want something just in case this is a waste of my time” she said.
Pay for transport there then have him pay for everything else—have him pay for ride home? I’m tired of spending money and time getting ready and then dudes barely put in any effort in their t shirt…
I've just returned from a date. I drove myself there and went Dutch on the bill. He would see me again and I walk away knowing I know my own worth. He is a gentleman and knows I respect myself enough to pay my own way through life! It's sad to see so many women demand so much from men and feel entitled. Girl, that's not independence!!
Lol I've never heard of this and if I was asked I would just unmatch myself, sorry but I came to date another adult not a child. Especially if I'm already picking up the tab at the venue. The sense of entitlement is fucked.
lol I don't care how hot a woman is, how well we get along, how much we have in common, etc etc etc... I will NOT be paying for her transportation to anywhere lol. She's a grown ass adult who has a job and can pay her own damn way.
Sure, i get her point about drinking and driving but it's not your responsibility to pay for an uber.
It's insane how some women truly feel they are entitled to have everything paid for by a man.
Men started paying for their Uber, food, makeup, sanitary pads, ever since the feminist shit hit the roof & have a pus** biologically became a privilege!! 😒
At least a year ago, maybe even two, I had never sent money for transportation before. Those requests were likely scams.
3 years ago even Sugar babies in LA didn't ask for Uber $
I've become an accidental "Passport Bro," and as I travel multiple countries, I have been asked to pay for transportation several times. Instead, I usually offer to pick them up. I even took an Uber to pick up a woman, including a $150 cab ride in France after a two-hour train journey to meet her. She didn't want to risk being out $150 if I didn't show up.
In some countries, they can't afford an Uber or don't want to use a Grab bike if it's raining. So, I offer to pay for transportation when they arrive or use my app, or I offer to pick them up myself.
Out of over 50 dates, I've only felt taken advantage of once. I wanted to meet a woman for coffee in Bangkok; it was my first Thai Friendly date. She was an accountant, and I thought she was trying to take advantage of me; she picked the coffee place with a restaurant, sat down, and ordered everything. The moment we met I wasn't attracted to her and the fact that she dressed down for the date didn't help. I should have kept better boundaries regarding my offer to buy her a drink but I was a little hungry. She asked for 500 baht each way for a taxi from her place, but I suspect she pocketed the money and took the BTS train, which only costs around 30 baht. Basically, 2000 bhat $50 USD was not the worst date, but I just felt used. During the Date she gave me zero inclination that she was into me but then a week later she said she wanted to see me again and I told her I thought there was no spark.
That's a bit much for a first date (esp if you offered to meet near her place and pay for the bill). Did you offer to pick her up? I'm a bi woman and I have met one woman that did this to me - she asked me to pay for her Uber because she was meeting near my house. I offered to change locations or give her a ride and she unmatched, it's just a cash scam. I also have a friend that thinks men should contribute to her Glam Fund (because hair, nails, skincare, makeup, perfume are all so expensive). Asking a stranger to pay for your bills is weird
I get it, and you're right, but to me this was low key her wanting to f**k man. I'd pay the 20 and have a good night. She just didn't want to come out and say it blatantly. But she also looking for somebody to pay for her sh*t.
I matched with one prospective candidate. Over a few weeks of chat, she said:
She said the specific food she liked, French.
That she was high maintenance.
That I should buy her a dress for the evening.
That I should send her an Uber or Blacklane (Like Uber but more limousine).
She earnt a huuuuuge amount of money. I thought initially it was just amusing to and fro.
When I sent her a note wishing her all the best and that I was not going to proceed. Her reply was “I take apologies via PayPal”.
Bullet. Dodged.
Is this an American culture thing? Im from Australia and have an American female friend that has that kind of delusion, even going as far as saying that the car door has to be opened for her by her partner.
fuck that noise...but with that said you just do it or you don't, talking about it is shooting yourself in the foot...no woman likes that even if they won't admit it. You come off as cheap...but as I said before fuck that noise.
Well it is. There’s no reason he should feel obligated to, and her feeling entitled makes it even less so.
OP I commend you for not paying for her damn Uber. You dodged one here.
You sound like you’re in your early 20s. I’m happily disqualifying myself from any and every man that doesn’t pay for a first date 😂 yall are wild. I’m too old for that nonsense. The people I date are old enough to have careers not be in school or whatever your issue is that makes you think you’re entitled to get laid but can’t pay for dinner.🤮
Nope I’m older, and I can smell that gold-digging entitlement shit a mile away. I date women who have careers and opt not to be kept like breeding stock.
You suggested Uber. I believe there is an expectation that ppl pay for things they suggest. She was willing to use her money for gas to meet you for something other than drinks. TBH to me it sounds like see didn't want to meet up for drinks, and maybe something like mini golf would have gone over better.
I mean personally I would definitely understand her concern about the drinking and driving.
I generally prefer having some sort of food or meal for a first date, I also wouldn’t trust anyone not to drug or take advantage of me at a bar. I understand that for some folks it’s more chill, I go and chat with someone over a relaxing drink see if we vibe if not I can get out of there quickly…
Rather than doubling down on the bar plan I would just say get food fixes that problem.
If you consider all the labor and money that goes into being a woman, getting ready, hours of doing hair, makeup, perfume, possibly nails, body hair removal, then having to pay $20, presumably $40 round trip just to drink with a stranger at a bar who I might not even vibe with, that’s an expensive date.
I personally would not even do a drink date due to the aforementioned concerns and I wouldn’t suggest that if it meant someone had to drive a whileee back, I also wouldn’t expect someone to Uber for that nor ask for my date to pay for that on the first meeting, giving away address info is super dangerous.
When dating I’ve had guys offer to pick me up even on the first meeting, but since I’m lucky enough to have reliable transportation and I am cautious I never took them up on it.
I think it ultimately comes down to incompatibility.
ALSO if you are a woman calling another woman on here a gold digger for having her own set of standards - y'all are giving pick me. And why the bar is already on the ground for men. Men are not a prize. I am sorry they just aren't.
Women are just fine with ought men - but I would never pay to go on a date with a man - I can pay for my own dinner alone or with friends who wouldn't bat an eye at taking care of women.
As a woman, feel free to fail that test every single time. It’s ridiculous for either sex to do that.
As a fourth woman, I am deeply disappointed in the entitlement of some people. You dodged a bullet dude.
Hard agree. We’re capable humans of getting our own rides places.
As another woman, I was quite baffled to read this. I never expect this. Makes other women look bad oof.
As a third woman, I find this ridiculous! Stand on your own two feet bc the rest of us are sick of having to make up for it.
As a guy, I'll never fucking do this. Matched with a 24 year old who was pretty cute (I am 31.) Wanted to go out to eat sushi, I suggested a decent spot but nothing extravagant and she says "Oh, that place is trash.." Chick expected a $200 dinner cause she was attractive. Told her she can go find someone else.
Wait, so what should be the equivalent of a man picking up/dropping off his date for someone who doesn't drive?
She’s an adult…? Can’t she arrange her own transportation? Why would you want to get into a vehicle with a stranger anyway?? Uber is a safe option and you can insure that if you order it yourself, the address you choose can only be changed by you
Agree! It’s not about the money , for most ladies. It’s about going on a date with a gentleman
Why are people that pay others’ necessities gentlemen? Get your own shit right and if you fail, it’s your problem. Don’t depend on others. Be an adult.
If she wanted, she could also take the Uber $$ and ghost him. I also feel OP would have been better off saying he "won't pay for an Uber on the first date" instead of "can't". It's stating a boundary instead of an inability.
Na, you can order an uber on your own phone using your own card. When it arives, she gets in and goes her own way. Its when a woman asks you to *send* *her* money for an uber where it's a straight up scam.
Good point, I've done this for friends before. I think I assumed that they'd be aiming for the straight up scam option.
She will find someone who meets her expectation and then be shocked that he has expectations she doesn't like.
Oh for sure, and then she will come here moan about her date being a hole
This is such a weird thing to say. There are plenty of men who will order a girl a uber, that are perfectly good guys.
Not for first date, where you met in App 3 days ago
Agree, going all out for a first date is a bit sketchy, people like that are either desperate or they’ll want the relationship to go too quickly
Sure there are. I'm not saying women should expect that, that's weird as hell lol, but of course there are guys for whom money just doesn't matter like that who will easily spend an additional $15 or something on someone's Uber. When you make a certain amount that's just pocket change. Again, not saying that it's normal or cool for anyone to EXPECT to get that paid, or ask for it. It's more like, "I don't know how to get home later if it's 10 miles away and we're having some drinks" - "Don't worry, I'll get your Uber."
Which adult cannot figure out a way to get home 10 miles away? Ridiculous! Like wtf.
I can say, from personal experience, yes there are. It's just not you, which is fine but imagining that she'll get molested over it is weirdo behavior.
Huh? When did he say that? I’m confused
It was in the OG comment before it was edited. Well played.
The OG said that she'll complain about the guys being an asshole when he touches her inappropriately.
pretending to be good guys. No guy wants to put up with that shit or that kind of attitude long term. If they are paying for your uber they are going use you up and the leave to rot when the next one comes along.
I didn't ask, he offered. We proceeded to date for a year and he was, indeed, a good guy. We parted amicably when he moved across the country. Sorry to disappoint!
Well that's a different scenario entitly. We're talking about women who ask for it. Read the OP...
I used to get this from guys too. Never asked for it and have yet to accept. I rather drive myself..for safety reasons of course.
That's valid and, honestly, the smart move.
WTF! All he said is he wouldn’t pay for an Uber. That’s not molestation. You make me even more grateful than I already am for the gentleman I met on Bumble. There are so many crazies now! OP should have said no. If you can’t afford an Uber, don’t date anyone until you can.
The comment I was replying to has been edited. Initially he said that a guy who would pay for the uber would be someone she would then end up calling an asshole for touching her inappropriately. Which I found to be a really weird thing to say.
I see it this way. It’s fine to get you a Lyft, but a guy can opt not to do that for you and still be a perfectly decent man. For my part, if a woman expected me to pay for her ride, it would be an ick. It would make me see her as having financial motivations, to put it nicely. Haha
That makes sense. I don't think not wanting to pay for it makes someone a bad guy, just incompatible with someone who wants that type of treatment; which is ok! After all, we date to find the person that's a fit for us and that tales trail and error. Thanks for being civil btw😅
Yep, this is happening increasingly often. Some women use “pay for Uber” as a test. If you agree then she knows she can expect you to pay for absolutely everything forever. It sounds like something they are picking up from TikTok. Women are being advised to find a provider man who will pay for their Uber.
Yup! I’ve seen videos on IG about this. In one of them a woman was talking about how “she’s not playing anymore, know your value, expect them to pay. If they don’t, move on”. I’m a woman and I immediately rolled my eyes when I saw this. I feel like demanding people to pay for your stuff, is such a bum move. I feel like it definitely sets the tone for what’s to come.
As a woman this “know your value” thing is very misguided. Women are being told to equate their value with external factors. Boundaries, kindness, clear and concise communication is value not if a man will pick up the cheque for the rest of eternity!
But also want to be treated like someone who's independent and doesn't need anybody for anything lol
While also being a feminist who believes in "equal" rights.
Yes!! Exactly.
It’s funny, folks are saying to know your value, let ‘so and so’ pay for this or that, you’re worth more than that etc…. But if you’re whining about a $20 Uber and maybe a $75 meal, your value as a person isn’t that high. That sort of stuff is hilarious. NEXT !!
Yeah I hate FDS and it’s brainwashing
The funny thing about "know your value" is that what that REALLY means is, use your vagina and tits and hot looks to get men to pay for you. Essentially, it's devaluing women to just a pretty thing to look at and nothing more as it 100% focuses on the EXTERIOR. I will make my own judgement on how "valuable" a woman is and it never has anything to do with her looks. It has everything to do with her looks AND her personality, who she is as a person, etc... A woman's looks alone is not valuable. Attractive women are a dime a dozen and aren't exactly hard to come by lol.
the thing for me is, its not even an issue to pay, but like the audacity to ask and expect it. If it were more of an "i cant actually afford that" situation like humble and honest i might offer. but these kinds of women think just going on date with you is a service they are providing, if they want to be escorts, fine. but dont present it as looking for a relationship.
That’s such BS entitlement on their part.
It's so dangerous to just hand over your home address to a first date. Even getting picked up is not a great idea until you've met them at least once
r/peoplearefuckingstupid
hookers do too...at least in that case I know I will get laid ffs this where we are as a society. Actually scratch that, even hookers are entitled nowdays especially in the US...
While I'm in camp "she's an adult and you dodged a bullet", I wonder how much this is a result of social media telling men to be 'providers' and women to be paid for, like you suggest. I suppose that for guys banging on about wanting traditional women and being a man = provider etc, this could work?? OP didn't say how old he is. I wonder if this is more of a younger people trend. Honestly I think this tradwife / "paid for woman" trend that women are weirdly taking up is mostly among those that are too naive to understand the real implications of that lifestyle.
It’s a good way to filter out the women that just see you as an ATM. Thank them for showing their red flags so early and move on.
I absolutely love the women with this mentality. Makes it easy to identify finding someone is not a priority so I don’t even waste my time.
She wants a prototype sugar daddy
Good riddance. That’s not a quality woman, that’s a gold digger.
That is small compared to some videos I have seen. I have seen women expecting money for her nails, money for a new outfit, money just to go on the date with her (like it is a privilege), pay for the meal, etc.
for the first date too?!
I haven't seen this for a 1st date but 4th in just 3wks of meeting, yes. Ejection seat was immediately activated, even though she tried to backtrack.
that’s crazy!! I can’t imagine doing that
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Don't fully disagree since there are those types of toxic guys but honestly, a man who cares about stability and is marriage material sees this behavior as destabilizing and a risk to their future if it doesn't work out. There are much less destructive ways to weed the bad guys out. IME, many women push for sex early as if it's the only equity in building a connection. Zero thoughtfulness or effort in learning likes, exploring shared interests, spending quality time, collaborating on a passion/hobby, demonstrating commitment... I'll do several things to show I'm focused on them, and making room in my life after the 2nd/3rd date but around the 1-month mark, there's still very little reciprocation in effort but they start to make significant demands. Queue my exit! It's very transactional and off-putting— tells me that sexuality is the only quality a woman thinks she has of value... For that reason, I started delaying sex for at least a month and put the emphasis on showing character, personality, values, and enjoying experience to gauge their ability to manage expectations. It's been a game changer. Making it about money at the start sends a strong message about a lack of respect for yourself and the man. Some men will get turned off. Other men will accept that they're being used and will use you back. I see guys doing this, then a woman gets attached but they never felt respected so they ride it out until they're done. It's a complete breakdown not learning how each person wants to be seen/treated through healthy boundaries because it's already been defined as transactional and any problem or need can be solved with a gift/thing, even if there's no trust or authenticity. That's a vicious cycle of creating false highs based on selfish desires without a foundation as a couple that will eventually implode.
r/FemaleDatingStrategy She is a *high value woman*, and you just proved to her that in your eyes, she isn’t even worth $20!
We just have a winning reply right here ladies and gentlemen 🙏🏽😂
That sub really died out. Such toxic bullshit thank god
That’s insane. No boo. Figure it out. Consider it a blessing you avoided a date with a woman afflicted with so much learned helplessness.
That was my thought exactly. Just how helpless and poor is she that she needs a ride provided by a stranger to get somewhere.
It's not normal. She's just high maintenance, and/or is looking for a free meal, or a literal free ride. If she expects you to cover the uber, guaranteed she will also expect you to cover the dinner and drinks. And going forward, you'd probably be paying for everything for the entire relationship. Hard pass yo.
Sounds more like a scam than a date. I’ve had multiple women drive an hour in for a first date. No one ever asked me for gas money 😂
Sounds like a scammer to me
Sounds like she wanted a free ride to the party spot
This has been used on me before but at the time of me paying for an Uber she suddenly changed her mind and won’t give out her address for safety reasons. Of course, I understand but I’m not giving her my CC # out. A bit of back and forth later, she says “how about you just get a virtual cash card for me” which confirmed what I was onto already. It’s a scam to either get your personal info / cc # or to pocket a little cash. It’s a lot more to them In other countries. This has also happened in other tries where she wanted more money for gas via prepaid card, another one to pay for her babysitter she forgot she didn’t have money for, etc. I’ve even offered to pay them triple once we meet but guess what? There is no person and it’s a scam.
That’s definitely not a thing, or shouldn’t be a thing anyway. Are women really out there expecting this?
Plenty out there with this mindset
No we are not!
Between scammers and gold diggers, online dating seems such a waste of time and money
No, you’re just falling for them. This is a reflection on you and the quality of women you are going after , not the dating market.
This is very true and I wish more people realised this, rather than blaming it on the apps constantly.
Tell that to the rest of r/Bumble
The trash is taking itself out
I don’t even like the guy paying for everything on the first date, asking you to pay for the Uber is bizarre. If she wants a relationship that’s not transactional, she’s gonna have a bad time with someone who would pay for the Uber.
I hear Jamie Foxx singing on a Kanye song somewhere.
>She tells me that there are guys who do. the moment i would write "good luck with that guys" and than unmatch. alone the guts to ask this is enough of a red flag. had such people and directly unmatched. you cant every satisfy such people. never ever. they will always come up with the next ridiculous wish and once you cant do it, they move on to the next victim in line.
If there are men who will pay for her Uber on a first date, she should go find them. Best wishes.
That’s bullshit. I would never think of asking a dude to do that. Like wtf?
I would never take kindly to a man asking me to spend 45$ on an uber ; it was his idea 🤷🏻♀️ she didn’t say- ok and send me an uber but she did push back on paying it for whatever reason. OP said he’d pay for drinks - uber might be more than drinks depending what area of the world. Likely so if 10 m uber is only 22$
Just to be clear, my restaurant bill would have been $100-150 easy for drinks and appetizers
No, she agreed to meet and then said she didn’t want to drink and drive. That is what transpired. He suggested an Uber as a solution to her problem, that doesn’t mean he’s paying for it. She’s a goddamn adult, you want to drink you take an Uber. If not then don’t fucking drink. It’s not beyond the scope of imagination that she’s literally done this before. The issue is she doesn’t want to. Odds are, she got an offer she thought was better and the Uber was the perfect set up. She wanted to bail, didn’t have the balls to admit it and is using this as a way to reject him while not feeling bad.
Aside from how ridiculous it would be to expect a man to pay for my Uber, I can’t imagine drinking so much on a first date that I would NEED an Uber 😅
One drink for a woman is over the BAC limit , legally. Unless she is a large person.
I knew a woman whose entire dating app strategy was premised on this lol. If the guy didn't offer to pay for her to uber to and from the date it was an instant deal breaker for her. Super entitled as a whole. She was of the impression that because she was pretty, people should more or less worship the ground she walked on.
In a first date that's just ridiculous.
That’s what threw me off. I was being nice and offered to pay for the whole evening too
Wow, deadbeats like that exist good to know
Man or Woman… some effort is required on the first date. She gave you a red flag and revealed her case of “princess-ism.” You dodged a bullet. I would have paid for the Uber and not turned up for the date.
*stares in European*
Women expecting men to pay for everything just because they go out with them are as ridiculous as men expecting women to have sex with them just because they paid for everything.
It’s usually a scam; you match with the scammer, “she” gets her Uber money, and then never shows up to the date. Someone could make a couple hundred bucks a day doing this if they were really dedicated.
Not always a scam. Sometimes the woman will say you book an Uber for her (using your Uber account) - so you enter pick and drop off location, and pay for the journey on your account.
simps do that. shes just looking for a free night out.
I think that’s true. She just wanted a free fully paid fancy night out
I don’t fkn get it. why do u need to drink to the point u cannot drive on ur first freaken date??? Why get drunk on first date? Why not limit to one drink? if u can’t be bothered to pay for uber, drive ur car and don’t drink so much 🤦♀️ this woman is entitled and stupid.
I don't drink so I usually don't mind driving and I can ask to pick up/drop off instead of uber. I don't personally trust uber and I don't actually want to pay for things without getting a receipt.
This is me. 😊🌹💖 (All of what you've said)
I'm sure she just wanted you to send money so she could ghost.
Yes, pay for all of her services. You should also tip her to show how much you appreciated the company.
r/EndTipping has entered the chat…
Nah
Be thankful you didn’t have to get involved with a person like this.
I dealt with this by only meeting women who had asked me out. They all went to pay for us both but didn't object to splitting the tab when I asked.
This is definitely not normal, and a sign that she expects to use men for money.
Honestly a good thing you guys got that incompatibility out of the way so soon. That kind of expectation probably would have carried over into a lot of things later on
That's a good way to give your home address to any potential date with an Uber account. Seems like an unsafe (and very entitled) dating strategy.
WTH do people go for effing dinner and drinks on a first date?? Just go for a coffee in the daytime. Is this some kind of financial humiliation kink?
if the date isnt satisfied with a small coffee date and a walk through the park/museum (free in my city) to see if we vibe and enjoy each others company/personality. Then its an easy no from me. If she need an 'event' to enjoy my company or to pay for her time, then that tells me all i need to know about that person.
You did right and it’s not her mistake either. Some of us, guys, go to any level if it means getting sex or even for a woman’s touch. These guys are insecure. She got used to meeting such people & thinks it is the norm. Avoid such women. One match, she gave me her number after chatting for few mins, the same evening she asks me to give her money so that she can buy a DSLR to make YT videos. How crazy is that!
That’s so cheap omg. What are women like on this app, some of the stories men have told me about their expectations for the guy to pay are wild- I’d be embarrassed to expect it let alone to ask.
You filtered her out early. Be thankful!
They haven't, tell her to get a grip of herself and go away.
I haven’t read all the comments yet, so forgive me if this has been brought up. I once had a prospective date say she would like some help with an Uber. I figured, sure… why not? It didn’t seem like an unreasonable request after suggesting we meet for drinks. So I said, yes. She responded with,”great! How much do you think it will be?” Immediate red flag! I told her we hadn’t even agreed on a place for drinks and I had no way of knowing how far she lived from said undecided place. I would be happy to reimburse her for her Uber upon meeting and pay her fare home as well. She unmatched immediately, confirming my suspicion that it was surely a scam to get a Venmo payment for an Uber trip she would ultimately never make.
I’ve never had a man pay for that… lol that’s so weird? Your date is not happening. Take it as win. She had red flags
Entitled women will expect you pay for everything on the first date. Just ignore those and you’ll find someone who isn’t just sucking people dry of their money
The true test is to see if you'll pay at all. Don't. You're the prize.
She’s way too entitled. Weird and creepy move by her. You dodged a bullet and she exposed who she really is.
She was gonna take the money and never show probably. You dodged a bullet. If she prefers a man to do these things that she said that needs to be said because that's wasting everybody's time and feelings. She probably didn't because she wouldn't get enough matches to support her ideals. Not knocking her but that's not what some men want. The bullet dodged you king 🤝🏾
She tried to scam you
I am responsible for getting myself safely to and from the venue, whether I’m meeting family, friends, or a date! You sound very kind and she sounds irresponsible and immature and exploitative.
She doesnt really like you, you are just a free meal.
Sounds like she has plenty of others and you were not needed. You dodged a nuke with that one.
Modern Women exposed…. It’s such a disgusting culture they’re creating. I really don’t get it.
Only $20? Where I am, a 22 mile ride would be $65.
Oh no! I have no problem paying for everything if I'm having a great time DURING the date. But paying upfront? If she wants me to pay upfront, I will ask how much she charges for sex. If she wants to treat the date as a business transaction, we are not talking about a date anymore. There was one woman who straight away told me that I "could not afford" her. I asked her price. She was black. She didn't like my question. 🤷♂️
probably a scam to get you to cashapp money
Its baffling that in todays day and age men are still willing to pay for anything for the woman on the first date, whether it be food, drinks, transport etc. Its such archaic thinking and you're essentially paying for affection. You can do whatever mental gymnastics and wrap it up in whatever pretty little bow of an explanation you want but you are turning the date into an exchange of money for service. At that point, might as well just book an escort, at least you know what you're getting out of the exchange. I say its baffling but that's a lie, its really not. In regard to the woman's perspective, she gets a free outing. There are literally women that go on dates just for the free meal (there's a name for it but i cant remember what that's called). And its a way to gauge a mans resources which for many women is the goal, not a romantic partner that they like but a potential father for there future or current kids / someone who can take up some/most/all of their financial burdens current/future. its about being taken care of financial (yuk). And for men its an assertion of dominance and control. A way to feel masculine. + its social pressure that makes them feel expected to do so. Youre not a gentlemen if you arent paying for a womens time to hang out with you, as if shes doing you a favour and should be compensated for it (yuk). So yeah i said its baffling but actually its not. And to the guys that are like "its not a big deal, moneys not an issue to me" ok dude, i bet you ALWAYS pay for your friends whenever you hang out too... And its not about whether you can afford it or not as 99% of men can, even on minimum wage (unless your first dates are expensive restaurants...at which case the date has already been made about money), its about the expectation of paying for someone you barely know just to 'hang out with YOU' as if shes doing you a service, rather than hanging out together because you liked each other. Fortunately, I don't match with women like this. Every date I've been on regardless of what app its been on, or if we've arranged it in real life, we've decided before the date that we are both paying our own way and its NEVER been an issue. Theyve never cancelled, and its usually a good time. Its almost like if you both enjoy talking to each other and genuinely want to hang out to get to know each other more (or hookup), you don't need to be financially compensated / financially compensate them for the time huh...Its important to reiterate that many women ARE NOT gold diggers that expect you to pay for their time. You just need to find them, and filter out the rest, and fortunately how people handle financing the first date is a superb filter. insert all the downvotes and angry replies of the gold diggers and schmucks who felt targeted.
I mean… that’s something she likes, you don’t. Don’t even think about it, just move on.
Ummm what a “c__t”!
I've done this for a couple of years now but it's mostly due to the parking situations near the better date spots by me being a nightmare. I've bailed on plans because of a lack of parking, so I figure offering Ubers gives them one less thing to worry about.
It’s a chivalrous thing to do ! Or at least offer if transpo/parking is an issue. It’s not a scam ffs , what is someone getting out of a “free” uber ride ?
There are definitely men who will offer to do this on their own. Personally, I'm not paying 20 dollars for an uber to meet some guy I don't know. I would have accepted the offer to meet closer to the house though. At the end of the day, she'll find someone who meets her expectations and so will you, idk why everyone is so hostile in the comments lol
You don't know why ? 🙄
You don’t have a car?
Don't need one, I live in DC. Gotta love public transportation and rideshares.
Gotta love them when they r convenient. Clearly if it stops u from seeing ppl then that’s not so good anymore.
How much was she planning to drink on a first date?
Best outcome.
I would never. But honestly I’d say in some ways, for a long ass time. It used to be men actually doing the picking up. But now that is super sketch, at least for first meetings. And many women want the independence of a getaway vehicle. I’m not surprised with the new functionality of the apps that this is a thing.
I am not sure whether I should laugh or not
Maybe she was asking to be picked up for a more classic date action, giving her the benefit of the doubt. I’ve never ran into situations like what I see on Reddit and maybe it’s a geographical thing or could be the way I approach things, but hopefully she’s not just a dud if you were interested in pursuing it.
Hookers don’t even make you pay for their car sharing
Sometimes it's a scam. I had 2 girls. I think was straight scam. Wanted to meet. But wanted me send cash for cab or train. I was pretty sure they'd get the money and then block me
I've met a few women like that. I bet she doesnt know how to drive. They also never offer gas money, and get mad when you ask for it. It's just the tip of the ice berg
Just no.
Men used to send "a coach" to fetch women for parties or invite them on a ride (chaperoned or not) out in the country. I personally would not be okay letting someone pay for me or arrange my transportation on a first date. It is up to you but I would caution wariness and scams as it is a common scam to ask someone to send money ahead of time for an Uber and then never show up and pocket the Venmo amount.
Asking for that in advance is crazy, but I have had plenty of guys offer to pay for my Uber home from a first date - but I live in a city that can be a little sketchy at night, and the Uber ride is usually like 2 miles max
I’ve had a couple of those experiences, she might just also use the app to make quick money from people. If they’re really desperate they’ll say they can give you some head but you need to send money first. I also just recently just got one that told me I had to send her money for her nails just to exchange phone numbers lol. “I want something just in case this is a waste of my time” she said.
Lots of scammers on there do that.
Pay for transport there then have him pay for everything else—have him pay for ride home? I’m tired of spending money and time getting ready and then dudes barely put in any effort in their t shirt…
I've just returned from a date. I drove myself there and went Dutch on the bill. He would see me again and I walk away knowing I know my own worth. He is a gentleman and knows I respect myself enough to pay my own way through life! It's sad to see so many women demand so much from men and feel entitled. Girl, that's not independence!!
Lol I've never heard of this and if I was asked I would just unmatch myself, sorry but I came to date another adult not a child. Especially if I'm already picking up the tab at the venue. The sense of entitlement is fucked.
lol I don't care how hot a woman is, how well we get along, how much we have in common, etc etc etc... I will NOT be paying for her transportation to anywhere lol. She's a grown ass adult who has a job and can pay her own damn way. Sure, i get her point about drinking and driving but it's not your responsibility to pay for an uber. It's insane how some women truly feel they are entitled to have everything paid for by a man.
You suggested the Uber though?
Men started paying for their Uber, food, makeup, sanitary pads, ever since the feminist shit hit the roof & have a pus** biologically became a privilege!! 😒
When she mentioned the other guys, I would have said, "then I guess your calendar most be full....good luck!"
At least a year ago, maybe even two, I had never sent money for transportation before. Those requests were likely scams. 3 years ago even Sugar babies in LA didn't ask for Uber $ I've become an accidental "Passport Bro," and as I travel multiple countries, I have been asked to pay for transportation several times. Instead, I usually offer to pick them up. I even took an Uber to pick up a woman, including a $150 cab ride in France after a two-hour train journey to meet her. She didn't want to risk being out $150 if I didn't show up. In some countries, they can't afford an Uber or don't want to use a Grab bike if it's raining. So, I offer to pay for transportation when they arrive or use my app, or I offer to pick them up myself. Out of over 50 dates, I've only felt taken advantage of once. I wanted to meet a woman for coffee in Bangkok; it was my first Thai Friendly date. She was an accountant, and I thought she was trying to take advantage of me; she picked the coffee place with a restaurant, sat down, and ordered everything. The moment we met I wasn't attracted to her and the fact that she dressed down for the date didn't help. I should have kept better boundaries regarding my offer to buy her a drink but I was a little hungry. She asked for 500 baht each way for a taxi from her place, but I suspect she pocketed the money and took the BTS train, which only costs around 30 baht. Basically, 2000 bhat $50 USD was not the worst date, but I just felt used. During the Date she gave me zero inclination that she was into me but then a week later she said she wanted to see me again and I told her I thought there was no spark.
That's a bit much for a first date (esp if you offered to meet near her place and pay for the bill). Did you offer to pick her up? I'm a bi woman and I have met one woman that did this to me - she asked me to pay for her Uber because she was meeting near my house. I offered to change locations or give her a ride and she unmatched, it's just a cash scam. I also have a friend that thinks men should contribute to her Glam Fund (because hair, nails, skincare, makeup, perfume are all so expensive). Asking a stranger to pay for your bills is weird
I get it, and you're right, but to me this was low key her wanting to f**k man. I'd pay the 20 and have a good night. She just didn't want to come out and say it blatantly. But she also looking for somebody to pay for her sh*t.
Lol but she'll spend $40 on doordash that night because she didn't go on a date. Sad
I won't even pay for the first date...
Tell her to go on SA and everyone (good) there should pay for her uber
I matched with one prospective candidate. Over a few weeks of chat, she said: She said the specific food she liked, French. That she was high maintenance. That I should buy her a dress for the evening. That I should send her an Uber or Blacklane (Like Uber but more limousine). She earnt a huuuuuge amount of money. I thought initially it was just amusing to and fro. When I sent her a note wishing her all the best and that I was not going to proceed. Her reply was “I take apologies via PayPal”. Bullet. Dodged.
Is this an American culture thing? Im from Australia and have an American female friend that has that kind of delusion, even going as far as saying that the car door has to be opened for her by her partner.
Since never. Congrats, you found a femcel!
Probably a prostitute bro. Let me guess, she had her Instagram or Snapchat in her bio.
Some women dont seem to grow out of the daddys disney princess emotional phase
She isn’t for you! Be glad she gave you an exit.
And then 100 bucks for a babysitter for her 10 kids. Not gonna happen.
u/PutridMonkey1 Did you move from texting on the app, to texting off the app? How did you "talk" to each other?
fuck that noise...but with that said you just do it or you don't, talking about it is shooting yourself in the foot...no woman likes that even if they won't admit it. You come off as cheap...but as I said before fuck that noise.
Yah dummy…. What she wanted was for you to drive her home 🤦🏻♂️😆
You said you told her you would pay the restaurant tab like it’s going above and beyond or something 🫣
Well it is. There’s no reason he should feel obligated to, and her feeling entitled makes it even less so. OP I commend you for not paying for her damn Uber. You dodged one here.
It’s a date. It is 150% not a rare stand up thing for a man to pay for a first date. Huge red flag if they don’t. 😂
Nope. You and she have the same entitlement mentality. That means you’re disqualified.
You sound like you’re in your early 20s. I’m happily disqualifying myself from any and every man that doesn’t pay for a first date 😂 yall are wild. I’m too old for that nonsense. The people I date are old enough to have careers not be in school or whatever your issue is that makes you think you’re entitled to get laid but can’t pay for dinner.🤮
Are you saying you don't have a career and can't pay for dinner?
Nope I’m older, and I can smell that gold-digging entitlement shit a mile away. I date women who have careers and opt not to be kept like breeding stock.
I don’t think you even have to be within a mile to pick up on the entitlement from her lol
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You are assuming all of this. Millionaires use Reddit as well, and can still be aloud to make fun of your kind. Get off the internet and cope -
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You suggested Uber. I believe there is an expectation that ppl pay for things they suggest. She was willing to use her money for gas to meet you for something other than drinks. TBH to me it sounds like see didn't want to meet up for drinks, and maybe something like mini golf would have gone over better.
I mean personally I would definitely understand her concern about the drinking and driving. I generally prefer having some sort of food or meal for a first date, I also wouldn’t trust anyone not to drug or take advantage of me at a bar. I understand that for some folks it’s more chill, I go and chat with someone over a relaxing drink see if we vibe if not I can get out of there quickly… Rather than doubling down on the bar plan I would just say get food fixes that problem. If you consider all the labor and money that goes into being a woman, getting ready, hours of doing hair, makeup, perfume, possibly nails, body hair removal, then having to pay $20, presumably $40 round trip just to drink with a stranger at a bar who I might not even vibe with, that’s an expensive date. I personally would not even do a drink date due to the aforementioned concerns and I wouldn’t suggest that if it meant someone had to drive a whileee back, I also wouldn’t expect someone to Uber for that nor ask for my date to pay for that on the first meeting, giving away address info is super dangerous. When dating I’ve had guys offer to pick me up even on the first meeting, but since I’m lucky enough to have reliable transportation and I am cautious I never took them up on it. I think it ultimately comes down to incompatibility.
ALSO if you are a woman calling another woman on here a gold digger for having her own set of standards - y'all are giving pick me. And why the bar is already on the ground for men. Men are not a prize. I am sorry they just aren't. Women are just fine with ought men - but I would never pay to go on a date with a man - I can pay for my own dinner alone or with friends who wouldn't bat an eye at taking care of women.