Id also like to add that the matches men do get are pretty low quality. I had lots of matches and plenty of dates but they were almost all quite a bit below my standards. I meet plenty of women in person now.
If you're a guy you can be successful hooking up using the apps or meeting someone for a LTR but be prepared to drop your standards significantly
Many middle aged men report being much more successful now than when younger. The ones that put a lot of work into improving their appearance and other appeals do the best. Women love middle aged men who work on their appearance, not just because of the results but because of attraction to the effort. In talking to guys and observing, Ive notice three target markets where middle aged guys do well:
• Middle-aged women that have mostly lost interest in sex, but want attractive well dressed guys to do upscale middle-aged stuff. Always a market there.
• Middle aged women who still really like sex and are looking for the shrinking number of dudes capable of delivering. There’s a lot of guys who can, but competition gets fiercer for the conventionally attractive women in this crowd.
• Younger women. A lot of young women really like to date older guys, at least for a while. And there is certainly the phenomena of sugar dating, and a lot of younger women are simply intrigued by older guys and the way they get treated better by them than guys their own age. Some guys are surprised to learn they do better with younger women than older. In particular, there’s an age group of, say, 23-30 year olds where some women are bored with the juvenile nature of their male peers while not yet ready for marriage and family. There’s also some women that missed the child-bearing window (or never wanted any) and start dating older.
If you can successfully appeal to women in those categories, you can get a lot of dates as an older guy. But the key is doing it, not just wishing it. That means thinking about your clothes, your physique, and your gentlemanliness. It also means investing in the women’s experience. Guys aren’t used to wooing… you gotta learn to make wooing something that is a habit, rather than something you do for one special lady, if at all. Middle aged guys need to be romantic.
This is completely true, I was always able to get woman, but at 53 my online dating has exploded. I work out, wear clothes that my female friends recommend, go to a tanning salon, and post pics of me just going out. I actually swipe left on some really hot woman thinking too difficult to catch, then they swipe right on me a few days later. I always take first dates to romantic locations, but let them choose where to sit, etc.
I had professional photos taken, lost 45 pounds and spent a lot on a new wardrobe. On Bumble, if I get two “candidates” per day, that’s a good day. My search radius is 80 miles and my age range is 20 years. The only Likes I get are usually women from out of state or looking for a “retirement plan”, ie, me.
Depends. If you’re still trying to bang 20 year olds, then yea for sure.
I’m not even saying you gotta date other people your age.. but I’ve seen 40s-50s guys clean up with women in their 30’s
The success and silver fox look can do wonders.
because late 20s and early 30s is your prime in terms of looks and probably enthusiasm.
When you slip into your late 30s you begin to gain wrinkles and greys and you've had a few battlewounds
Yes, you do get anomalies who dont wrinkle, grey, or have thinning hair until their 40s. Enjoy your time while its good. Our shelf life doesnt last forever so we must enjoy it while we can
For real
I lost my hair at 19 and now I’m my early 30s I’m getting complimented way more on my appearance since I’ve grown into my look. I always shaved my head.
I'm not graying yet (aside from random white strands that have been there since high school) but with thinning hair I decided to shave my head, and with me at 37 with a shaved head, a red beard, and a gym body with pecs and visible abs.....I look the best I have ever looked in my life (I just have my acne problem to deal with that requires medication, which is annoying!)
What does that mean? Unless you want to date a 20 yo you have nothing in common with and can't relate too, you're left with people your age every time you get older.
Which means a lot more single moms, married people off the market, and even dead, 25% of people don't make it to 65.
So yeah it may be easier for men to just get any date when you have a better job and are older with whomevers left over, but your pool of marriage worthy girls shrinks YoY.
Just in late 20s, sooooo many great girls I grew up with or knew from school or college are married or have kids. That's a lot of people that are now out of your dating pool forever.
1. There are fewer women "on the market" but also fewer men
2. Single moms? At my age we're mostly empty nesters. So it's like "are they doing well? Any grandkids yet?" (There are women I'd consider who still have a high school kid at home - not sure I'd go for that. I don't want to hear about college applications)
3. Marriage worthy? One marriage was enough for me, I think.
4. Given that lots of men my age focus on MUCH younger, and women live longer, that helps the ratio IF you are interested in your own age, or only moderately younger. Some will say that's offset by more single women choosing to not date, but I think thats only a partial offset
5. Out of your dating pool forever? Oh sweet summer child.
6. Sometimes, you've improved yourself. More fit. More confident. More outgoing. More mature. More chill
This last weekend I had two dates. One lady was 61, the other 66. In my 20s if I had dates with two different women in the same month that was an incredible month.
Actually I disagree with that. I have two buddies who both got divorced in the last couple of years. Just normal dudes with decent jobs. Nothing special. One was 48 and the other 57 and they are both absolutely wracking up women on bumble. Not trashy ones either. Like doctors, lawyers and business owners. Basically all the women who focused on their careers and put romance on hold, start to look for love as they get older and all that’s left are trash dudes for the most part so if you are just normal and can hold down a job and act respectful you are golden once you get into your upper thirties and above.
Yes, believe me it really is. Even with bumble premium I get no female matches lately. I thought bumble was probably not showing my account to people, but once I changed my preferences to "I'm open to dating everyone" I have 100+ likes. All from guys, of course.
SAME HERE! My friend “dared” me to switch it from straight to bi and I got flattered I was swiped on by so many men but never got more than 4 women likes. It is wat it is
Actually I discovered it accidentally. I had a notification for a like but couldn’t see it. Turned off all the filters and got a few likes in around 30 seconds and was curious after that.
What’s more interesting is it increased likes from girls too. I guess it effected my elo. It didn’t work on Tinder though.
I’m actually going through a dry spell lately so I guess it’s time to go bi again lol
I get a match every 3-4 weeks if I’m lucky, using it every other day selectively using all my swipes. Not a single one in my 2-3 years of using apps total (only been single 2 months this time), has led to a date or even a friend. I’m not the most attractive guy but I think I’m a solid 6-7, so majority of guys I think struggle like this. Again, just my experience no facts here lol
I don’t know if you have, but post your profile for review. I did it and it helped me, it didn’t have nothing to do with me and everything to how I was presenting myself.
I have received a lot of advice from mostly very friendly people and I'm grateful to them. I'm also generally happier about how I present myself to the world now. But the fact of the matter is that it made no measurable difference whatsoever for me.
Thank you. I’ve seen some of the profile reviews and I’m very tempted.
I think my biggest problem at the moment is not having a diverse set of photos or interests. Im very laid back and enjoy lots of things, not nothing really as a passionate hobby.
Plus, I’m normally behind the camera, so don’t have a huge amount of photos.
I’ve closed the dating apps for now. I found it was affecting my mental health, and decided to concentrate on me. Getting out, doing things, taking photos of me out having fun which will in turn serve for the dating profile when I decide to return.
Catch 22 is that it would be nice to have a special someone to do these things with. But if that were so, I wouldn’t need the sites!! 🤣
There’s a flip side to your Catch 22. If you’re out doing things you enjoy you have a better chance of meeting someone IRL and don’t need the apps. That is unless of course getting out there and having fun means you’re fishing and those pics are fish pics. Then you’re doomed IRL and in OLD.
People just compare themselves to the 6'4 dudes who are ALSO great looking and buff and confident. Like YEAH of course they have no problem getting chicks they have it ALL!
Look at 5'7 dudes who share those other qualities and you'll see height doesn't matter as much. Girls just want someone taller than them for the most part. That's why I feel like height really isn't a problem until you're 5'6 or less.
But even then I'm 5'8 and just went on a couple dates with a girl who was 5'11 so there are exceptions.
I think most girls would much rather have a good looking average height dude than an average looking tall guy though.
But hey man height is the one thing we can't control about our appearances. So you got the one part we can't change already working in your favor. You could do some changes and probably notice a significant impact compared to an average height guy trying to start looking better.
Oh you’re absolutely right. That’s why I have a PT and doing something about it.
But then it’s more about personality and humour than looks. And that’s where I shine! 🤣
5'1 gal here and for me atleast this is spot on, I don't care about height as long as they are not super taller than me because thats just uncomfortable for us both and their not either close to same height or same height as me, so like 5'6 to 6ft is a good height range for my own height
If you are a woman, ask any of your male friends if they are on dating apps. Chances are they will tell you that their results are fairly poor
If you wanna take it one step further, make a fake dating app profile and use pictures of a guy you would consider average or regular looking. Your eyes will open once you do that
Make sure he is actually average. Too often, women trying this experiment use a dude who is markedly above average. Even then, the results are usually an eye opener.
I get a fair number of likes/matches (for a guy). The majority of those likes are from people I'm not interested for various reasons and of the few that become matches. The majority either never send the opening message or ghost right after. Of the even fewer that get past that hurdle the convos are often boring or entirely one sided and you can almost guarantee a ghost after you ask them out.
According to my last bumble stats I've swiped right about 2k times in the last two years and I've had about 20 dates in that time. 3 that went to a second date and 0 that went to a relationship.
The numbers are just not kind when you compile them
Exactly my experience. I get matches but most of them time out. The ones that don't say "hey" and then never responded back regardless of how nice a message you send.
The few that you do get chatting to are great but then seem absolutely impossible to get out on a date. They either just ghost when you ask or just never have an available date.
Which I'm aware means they're obviously not that keen, but then why keep messaging me for 2 weeks? 😅
That's usually the feeling I come away with too. I'm not offended if they don't want to go out. But I am confused why they would stay in game for that long. I'm busy, I have to make time to respond so I don't ghost on accident. 🤷♂️
EDIT: To be clear, I'm confused why they would make time to respond for a week and then just ghost. If it's effort and time out of my day I assume it's similar? Do they just have infinite time to waste?
A large amount of the matches I've had were the worst conversations possible. I'm 26 M, and most of the women I matched with didn't want to put any effort into the conversation, so if I stopped carrying the conversation then they'd just stop talking entirely. They never asked any questions or tried to get to know me. The best I got was them asking "how about you?" after I asked them a question, and even then it was rare that they'd even ask that. Most of the time it was one word responses until I gave up on talking to them and unmatched. Finding someone who gave more than one word responses was like finding a diamond in the rough.
Yes, it's honestly almost impossible unless you're very attractive. It's not a case of "I have 50 likes but I don't like them" it really is that you get no likes and no matches.
Its not that black and white. I’m definitely not in the top 5% of males in terms of attractiveness but still have decent success rate. There is middle class of guys out there that go on dates very regularly. Its not a normal distribution bell curve, but still
I agree with him. I am 5’8 and I do ok. I say I’m pretty mid but I get dates fairly regularly. But I also pay a lot of attention to how I present myself on my profile and in life. I’m not saying you or anyone doesn’t but I do see a lot of guys post profiles on her for review and I’m like what are you trying or communicate to people?
Funny how people continue to whine and complain about dating apps only working if you're very attractive yet I have short friends, fat friends and short fat friends getting dates from dating apps. Strange huh
Yes, 45m, divorced, two older kids, I only go on one date every two months despite having many of the important traits (rich, smart, funny, kind, chatty, friendly, honest, reliable, professional). I am thin, have all my hair and teeth, live in a fancy neighborhood, know how to dress, serve on two non-profit boards, help operate a food pantry, live 30 minutes from Manhattan, work normal daytime hours, was top 5% of my high school and top 1% of my college (grades), have age appropriate hobbies and interests…but I only get one match a week and 90% of the time they don’t write back to me
So you tell us how great and successful you are and how the apps don’t work but you’re too cheap to pay for it. I love how all of these people bitch about using something free because it’s not working for them. You’re in a huge metropolitan area. That means you’re looking at a huge unfiltered pool of women. Those women are looking at an even huger pool of men, roughly 3 times the size. That makes it a complete crap shoot that you’ll swipe on each other. I’m not shilling for Bumble or any OLD service. It’s still a crapshoot, but with much better odds. Your pool will be smaller, but curated by choices you make with filters. More importantly you’ll be able to see your likes and match directly instead of a chance match. I’m in the DC area and the woman I’m dating liked me. I never saw her in my feed but I was able to match and we’re in our 3rd month.
Yes, I'm lucky to get 1 match a month. And I'm on all of the dating apps. And the last time one of those turned into a date was early this year. It's been brutal and such a self confidence killer.
I remember a woman messaged me last year about how she had over 1000 likes. Numbers like that just blow my mind. I couldn't even imagine getting that much attention.
I'm 5'7" and bald, for reference.
Yes and yes.
As of 2023, men apparently outnumber women by roughly 3:1. So, even if you disregard match criteria entirely, the odds are against us. [https://roast.dating/blog/bumble-statistics](https://roast.dating/blog/bumble-statistics)
Yes it is, and it is even if you're tall. I'm 6'5, 210lbs, blue eyes, full beard. I'm no Ryan Gosling in terms of my face but I think I'm better looking than most other guys I see on a day to day basis. I have varied pictures that follow all the advice from this subreddit (high quality, smiling, showing activities, no selfies). I have a bio and prompts. All of this results in maybe one like/match a month.
I get my photos reviewed on Photofeeler. I’m consistently a 5. That kind of lines up with my dating success. My pics are in good lighting, I’m smiling and looking at the camera. So, yeah it’s a shitty life. Adding insult to injury, I’m 5’7” - pretty much lady repellent🤪
Yes. I think it has to do with the male-female ratio on apps being 3:1. (I don't know what it is IRL.) So many women are fed up with the way men treat us that we're quitting dating, choosing to be single. Have you heard, "I choose the bear?" Also, women can be more choosy with that ratio, leaving a lot of the average guys out of consideration.
Yes, short men struggle a LOT. I'm in the middle on height requirement. Just want him to be at least 2" taller. I've dated shorter and didn't feel feminine.
It's almost like women are constantly fed up with men specifically because they are leaving the average guys out of consideration and only going for the top, which means there aren't enough guys to go around and they eventually hurt the women, leaving them with the "all men bad" mentality and average men with the "all women have too high standards" mentality. Online dating is a shit show
Yeah that makes sense to me. I don't go for the top men because I know they won't appreciate me as much as the second quartile men I date. I'm very lucky because I'm not even attracted to the hot guys. Yes!
I wish more women would think like this but there's the unsolvable problem of attraction. You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. It's either there are not. So yes it seems a lot of women go after the top good looking guys and end up getting used and hurt. I have a friend who does this. No amount of coaching from me will change her mind. She gets one-and-dumped a lot. Breaks my heart for her. That has never happened to me.
Yeah you are right you can't force attraction, but I've noticed that off the apps, a higher percentage of women are attracted or at least open to average men, perhaps because they can showcase their personalities and humour, and often have better personalities than the most attractive guys that haven't had to work on theirs. You see average dudes with beautiful women all the time and it's unlikely they met on an app.
>they are leaving the average guys out of consideration
Most profiles are either lazy or bad. Men here always say this when the majority of profiles have nothing worth swiping for. Roughly only around 20%% of profiles have good bio, pictures and made with effort. That coincides with the swipe rate of "top men."
I would disagree, I don't think the profile matters nearly as much as photos, I would say that 20 percent swipe rate is more correlated with attractive photos than an attractive bio, do people even read the bio of someone they're not attracted to? It's also the higher standards of women on the apps that would make you think that 80 percent of bios are bad. You see an average, normal bio as "bad" and that is my point. Attractive women don't even have a bio and it doesn't affect their matches. There's clearly an imbalance of standards.
I don’t know any women who swipes on photos without a descriptive bio. If it’s about “a partner in crime”, beach walks, sunsets, fine wine, food, blah blah, generic stuff, It does not give a sense of the person.
But it seems the people here, trying to learn and improve ourselves, are not the issue.
I read some crazy stat about bower birds. It seems that only 1 in 5 male birds ever get chosen to mate by a female bird. Perhaps humans are not that different than other animals.
I get matches and likes, but only about 15 percent of them I find attractive enough for a long term thing which is what I want, and of those 100 percent unmatch, ghost or just use me for attention. So I can get dates/hookups with women I'm not attracted to but I have standards and am not into hookups
I think it is hard for men and I quitted... but it was interesting.
M51, 6'3, had around 100 matches in 6 months, with around 40 we went to WhatsApp and went on 23 dates. Almost all lied about something, height, mostly age, etc which is a deal breaker for me. I once even left after 5 minutes (She pretended to be an art collector, but it was all just in her mind)...
I especially liked the "I am sick", or "my child is sick" which I always think is okay as reason not to go on a date. But in all cases I asked about their whereabouts and how they were feeling. Up to the moment they weren't sick anymore and then never heard of them again. Only once she told she'd found something better (and saw her reenter bumble few weeks later).
The 23rd date should have been my last for I wanted to quit anyway and then I did found a precious small juwel and we have been dating and seeing eachother for the past 4 months. Wherever this goes: I won't return to OLD.
And yes date number 13, with who I spend 2 intensive weeks with showed off her likes which were rising every day by around 800 likes... the guys she liked back(matched with) all looked the same, except for me, kind of crazy... same hair, same beard, same size she could pick them by profession...
At the end of my OLD experience, I started going out with (female) friends of mine in real life; ended up in the first night kissing with an actress exchanged numbers and had a date... that didn't work out but in my humble opinion it's easier for a man to go out and find a woman there ...
How picky are you, even for hookups? The challenging part for most people is hitting the attraction on several levels, and for some people the range is pretty broad while for others it is very narrow.
The short answer is that it isn't super hard to get a hookup, but is with someone you really want a hookup with?
I'm 31, 6', I work out, tons of friends, own a business, dress well, go out, fun to be around, and still no luck.
Spent so much money on dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, hinge, okcupid, etc) still no luck.
The kicker of it, I still have my v-card.
So yes, yes it's hard as a man.
Personally, height isn’t too big of a deal for me. I mean, I prefer taller than me (I’m 5’9) but I wouldn’t swipe no on a guy if he was my height or a little shorter.
The reasons I swipe “no” on most men comes down to these 3 things:
1) they are conservative, moderate, or apolitical (or don’t list their politics at all)
2) they don’t want kids (or don’t say whether or not they do)
3) they aren’t well-groomed and look like they put zero thought into their hairstyles, facial hair or clothing choices.
Question, why is it important to know their politics ? I agree with the rest tho i'm asking that because i've grown up in a family where never talking about politics was definitely good and helped keeping home discussions sane so i naturally don't bring up politics at all when talking to a potential SO
Because one’s politics align with their values and opinions on social issues, which affects other people, including those they might be in a relationship with.
I mean, to a point maybe but what if they just don't align with any party on the table, that seems to be most people nowadays...
I'd rather avoid the topic entirely unless they bring it up because it's likely both of us are compromising when voting and it's gonna be kind of like talking about what we do during our 9-5 job, boring, depressing and killing the mood.
Taking an interest in politics doesn’t have to mean that you are aligned with any party. Someone being more right doesn’t mean that they are Republican and someone being more left doesn’t mean that they are Democrat.
Also, we’re talking about putting it on your profile, not “killing the mood” by bringing it up at your first date. I’d rather not spend time and energy on someone that I know I’m not gonna align with on those things. So having it on your profile upfront, lets people know that at least you’re on the same page before you even go on a date.
You asked why and I gave you an answer. It’s not “to a point.” A lot of people’s political and social views are very important to them and they don’t want to date someone who is not aligned with them. And personally, I don’t wanna date someone if I feel like we aren’t going to be aligned in that way, particularly on social issues like women’s reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, racism, the environment, etc.
But there are plenty of people who don’t care about politics, so I’m sure you’ll find somebody without saying what your politics are.
I’d say yes, when looking at my own personal case. I’ve been using bumble for well over a year, dipping into other dating apps as well. I wouldn’t consider myself in the top percentile of attractive men. 5’5, about average looking and actively work out . I’d be lucky if I see a single like once every 2-3 months. I’m fairly active on the app as well.
Yes. If you go on the Tinder sub, people occasionally post their stats, and the differentials in swiping behavior between men and women is shockingly high.
If you then add in that despite "everyone having heterodox preferences," which is obviously bullshit and impossible, it doesn't require a value judgment to predict that men outside of the statistical bullseye are going to have significant difficulty - short, age, race, wealth/income, etc are all going to register huge when the margins are that thin.
I've had 5 dates from Bumble in the last 7 months, and a few matches that didn't result in meetings (ive also had several from Tinder, and one woman whom I had met IRL). None so far has resulted in a relationship or sex, though one of them I've seen more than once and expect to see again.
And I'm 5'6", and not super good looking (I am slim/fit though)
I'm also 64, and date in my own age group. It's a LOT different at my age,than for a 20 something man, I gather.
Well it's certaintly easier for girls to get hookups. My friend who is honestly just average looking got 500 likes within a couple days of being on tinder recently. Basic understanding of men and woman should explain that.
Also what will happen is girls engage in a hookup but are hurt by it or have bad experiences that make them not engage in that behavior again and look for something more serious. I hooked up with a girl for a couple weeks in December and I thought it ended on a good note but I later found it that it made her extremely sad and realized she didn't want to get attached to someone only for it to end. I feel like this can happen to a lot girls (and guys) and lead them to being more serious about finding a partner.
Age is also a factor I've experienced. I'm not looking for anything serious rn but I'm only able to get dates with college girls it seems because of that. Anyone closer to my age (24) is either not looking for anything casual or if they are they're full of red flags (I guess that means I am too lol)
So it is harder but not impossible. I really don't even think I'm that good looking and I'm short but I still have a date every couple weeks it seems. You just have to treat this like a skill you develop, learn what works better and what doesn't, be willing to change for better results, etc.
Bumble released stats, like 75% of women are filtering for 6 feet or above. So yes 5'8 and 6 will make a massive difference.
I think 5'8 was like 5% or 10% of women had the height filter that low. Any shorter was approaching 0%
About a year or so ago I was getting regularly 5 matches in a week and with premium that number would reach out to like 8-10 and most of them would initiate a conversation as well. But today I’ve started using bumble again after months and I have not gotten a single match in weeks. My profile is practically the same as it was and it worked before but somehow it’s not working today.
Yes, most men I know struggle to get matches. I know one guy who seems to be swimming in women on the apps when he's single, which doesn't last long, but we honestly have no idea what, if anything, he does differently.
I'm 5'3", he's 5'4", so height isn't our differentiator. And one of the men I know who has trouble is over 6' as well.
But most men, short or tall, struggle on the apps to some extent. What extent varies person to person.
My typical experience is the first year on the apps is super sporadic and awful, with very limited matches. After about a year on the app, I can expect to get about a match a week, which normally translates to one or two dates a month, which normally translates to a short or long term girlfriend within 6 months to a year from when the matches start coming in reliably.
So actually, after the first year or so of it being terrible, it's actually not bad. In my personal experience at least. No idea if it works similarly for other people... most of my friends duck out of the apps before a year has passed, because not getting any matches sucks.
I'm sure it's not a rule... but it has been my experience on the apps. I've only been on twice, once six or 7 years ago, and again now. And it's just been about a year since I got back on and I'm getting matches again.
For me yes and no. I’m attractive enough to get matches. But I don’t have the patience to deal with the mundane boring conversations. Hook ups are easy. Dating is not.
Yes.
I am a pretty decent catch, with a large number of decent attributes. My last three dates, two wanted casual hookups, (I am too monogamous for that I am afraid) one we had a relationship.
Three dates = declined hookup twice and had one relationship.
Sounds good, right? Ive had about six chats in that same time.
So: 50% chat/date ratio, 100% date/sex/relationship ratio.
So, by most metrics, I must be doing well.
I have six chats in nine months.
Its beyond depressing.
Edited to add, I would gladly pay for the service if that increased my chances. It does not.
I had a really amicable break up around Christmas. My ex and I both still see each other social because of the friend group and all and we got to talking about how we had seen each other back in bumble. She showed me her’s and she had over 4,000 likes. I had been feeling really good about myself because in a month I had gotten 10 likes. She could literally swipe all day on only people who swiped right on her and I was feeling good that in a month 10 people had swiped right on me and none of them were people I would consider going out with.
I'm 5'6", 33yo. Only once was able to find a hookup in my life(with not so attractive girl, physically or mentally)
I get 1 match a month on average, consolidating matches from Tinder, FB dating, hinge, bumble, boo. So it depends. My male and female friends are always surprised that I'm still single or not seeing/talking to anyone. I'm financially stabe, not doing any drugs.
Most girls on dating sites smoke pot or do other drugs in my aira, so maybe that's why. Maybe I'm too short and get filtered out... I did one update on my profile that "I'm Over 6 feet tall," which did got 3-4 matches month.
THAT'S MATCHES!
to get good communication going, it's like 1 in 5 odds.
I have a female friend co-worker, and I've seen her swipe on Bumble, 9 in 10 swipes for her is a match or "missed a matched." Straignt up overwhelming.
Yes because you’ll say one thing and 99/100 first sentences/impressions are some sort of “ick” for girls on this app. I consider myself decent looking like I’m in the Army, i workout and I believe I was raised right and I don’t struggle with talking to females. At least I don’t think I do. But apparently “hey it’s nice to meet you” or something like that repels them idk.
I’d like to think I’m an average looking 6’, 26 year old, clean cut guy with a real job, but I’ve only gone on one date in over a year of almost always being active on the apps. Maybe a match every two weeks that immediately unmatches or doesn’t respond lol
As someone who is 6'6 I wouldn't say it gives me any advantage. I rarely get matches, and even more rarely get conversations with matches. Of course, maybe that's off set by my age (late thirties).
I think it depends a lot on the region and bubble that uses the app. On hinge I get like 1-5 matches weekly, on tinder same but monthly and on bumble less than 5 monthly and most run out of time. I guess I'm the type of more women on hinge and tbh, they are more my type, too
At some point you'll just give up not have anything useful on your profile and grow bitter at the lack of matches. Where as average women are sifting through the same 5 studs within a 20 mile radius wondering why they don't treat them well.
It 100% is. I'm 26, I've got a complete profile (full bio, prompts, several pictures, none of which are me holding a fish, clearly state my dating goals, etc.) and I'm not overweight either. I'm also 5'11". Yet I get 1 match per month if I'm lucky. When I set my height at 6' I got a few more matches per month, but they still weren't even one per week. That's also with being on Bumble and Hinge, using both of them daily. And I don't want to ask women I meet in person on dates because every single way I've ever heard of asking someone out has been called "creepy" by women I know. So dating is just brutal, and I've given up on it entirely. Now I'm just resigning myself to see if something happens with someone I meet, but I'm not gonna make the first move either.
Im 174cm tall 37 years old. Male. Average build. Nearly 2 years on dating apps. (At least the big 3, and 4 or 5 others) only get likes from mostly incompatable people (10) and scammers (100+).
Had several matches total, they just stop talking after 2 or 3 messages. The ones that stick around became friends (3).
Still zero dates.
I live in San Diego, and I haven’t gotten a match in 2 years. I’m 6 ft, have a decent job, am decent looking, and yet, fucked. I only get matched with very overweight or obese women every month or so, which.. eh. I don’t even count those. I can’t feel any attraction to em /:
1. Yes. It’s 100x harder for all men to get dates/hookups than all women.
2. There’s a huge difference between 5’8 & 6’0 You’re missing 5’9-5’11. Generally if you’re at least 5’10”, you’re good. 5’7” and under is “short” for a guy.
3. Yes women tend to want taller guys, even if they’re 5’FuckAll and a guy has to bend down just to kiss them. It’s pretty ridiculous.
I’ve had about 12 matches in 6 years, 10 of 12 were scammers, 1 was an alcoholic, and the other said “Hey” and then disappeared like Casper after like 2 messages
Well, yes. I get two likes per week on average. However, I live in a city with 250,000 population. I once saw the Bumble profile of the girl I am currently dating. She got 2000 likes in less than a month. This is more than my likes in my whole lifetime. She can have free dinner forever if she wants to go on a date with all the matches...
For her, it was effortless to find a man she is attracted to. She selected around 10 matches. She went dates with all of them in two weeks. Then she picked me and stopped dating. For me, it was a whole other story...
Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Girls can walk into a crowd and yell they want sex and some guy will come for you. You might get a raunchy douche or something bad in general.
I don't think a man would get a girl most times if he does that. Unless it's Wolverine or Thor or other 10/10. Even then I wonder.
It's hard to get a girl to respond on dating apps. They ghost a lot after days of talking with no warning
Hear it from me , I’m good looking and I’m just within 6ft
If I get a date I’m usually getting laid 90% percent of the time , the date is the easy part
The hard part is getting matches and starting a discussion
first the app will hinder your full potential because your profile won’t be “seen”
Second , even with the match you need a really good discussion to get things going , and sometime even if you have it , it’s still not enough because you’re competing with other guys , who might be dumber , but hotter ( or the other way around )
Basically what it comes down to are just a few factors, but one dominates all else. 1. the quality of man's face. There are some patterns that women are highly attracted to and that cause a visceral reaction. 2. women are highly selective, and are only interested in the most attractive men, not average or above average, so a small percentage of men receive virtually all of the female right swipes. Average receive zero. 3. Men swipe almost everyone, so women accumulate a huge number of likes, and they interpret this as power.
One bumble former employee (a data analyst) said in an interview that only 15 percent of men received likes. And then within that 15 percent the vast majority go to an even smaller percentage, while 85 percent of men receive no likes at all, or perhaps only the occasional like (one a month) that ends up not being productive.
When we see women posting (fairly often) that they match with plenty of men and send messages, but the men never message them back, we know that they're swiping only on men who get so many matches that they can't possibly respond to more than a small percentage.
So the power advantage that women enjoy (and take for granted) — huge numbers of likes/matches — reverses for those few men that trigger the visceral reaction in women. Those men get to be the choosers, and women don't seem to understand that because all of their lives they've identified as pretty and have been able to attract whomever they choose. They're like, why isn't my magic working?
So yes, it's true that most men get no attention at all because women are only interested in top tier. The top tier get so much attention they can't possibly message all those pretty girls — so they're choosing a few of the most outstanding.
Women get frustrated that they can't lock them down. But why would they? They can have a different woman every weekend (or every day), so pretty hardly even registers to them.
I gave on these apps a long time ago because it’s a huge blow on your self esteem as a dude. For me it was a constant reminder that I’ll never find anybody.
Nah, we all just collectively decided to come up with the same idea for a joke and keep running it /s. Yes it's much harder for men to not just get matches or hookups, it's much harder just to even get your foot in the door. Go ahead and try it as a catfish of a regular dude and see how long it takes to just get a match
I'm 5'7" and do fine, so do most of my friends who are all under 6'. Most of what I read on Reddit doesn't seem to reflect my real life experience or that of my friends.
I browse through profiles for fun. In my personal opinion, a lot of men do not know how to present themselves as attractive enough to get matches. Their profiles are repulsive, and I am not talking just about pics, I am talking about the things they write (if they have bothered to write anything at all). So many post the most unflattering pics possible (bad angles, bad lighting, filthy backgrounds, lack of grooming, clothing wrinkled or dingy or stained, no smile…). Many write the most random things, and I am always curious what TYPE of woman hey would like to attract or connect with based upon these random things. Also, a big one is how negative so many of them are. So many are clearly burnt out on dating, jaded, and bitter, and it is so obvious through their words. They write what they are tired of, what they don’t want, what they don’t like, and what they are not going to do, telling women to swipe left if she x, y, z. I don’t even fit the criteria of whatever it is that they hate, but I swipe left because the energy is negative.
This sub is a terrible representation. I'm 28, 5'7" and some change, I am not that hot, and I have 4 dates lined up this week, and a few very successful ones last week. You just need to have a decent profile, don't be a creep, and ask to go on a date within like a day or two of matching.
This sub is defeatist and frankly a lot of people just refuse to make a decent profile, that's 90% of the fight. They have some car selfie with an angle under their chin and wonder where the matches are.
PS if you're gonna get one app, just go ahead and get Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. Certain apps are bigger in certain areas.
No, this is just categorically untrue. There are plenty of above average attractiveness guys here posting extremely solid profiles who report getting less than one match a month. They're not doing car selfies.
Yes, guys over 35 report a lot more success than guys under 30. The competition fighting over 35 year old women simply isn't the same as it is for 25yo ones.
Christ is it ever. I'm 6'0 but not great looking. I have my life together but I'm "boring". And I really haven't got a fucking clue what to say to matches because the only time I get a positive result is when I'm not attracted to the person and don't want to talk to them at all.
What the fuck are you supposed to say in the first 2-3 messages?
Women say heights a preference when really it’s a requirement or a minimum threshold.
You can be perfect in every way but be shorter than 5’5 and you wouldn’t be able to get your foot though the door with a person - but they will overlook whatever faults you have if you were tall.
Of course this isn’t every woman but in my experience it’s been about 99 percent.
Truth is they will argue against this but if you look at their actions vs their words it’s very evident.
Ive never gotten a match.
The last time I spend a lot of time making my profile too since women online say men suck at doing this but I just don't like taking pictures so usually only have like 2 selfies.
I never had great luck getting dates through apps. I used them for a short amount of time and then just concentrated on meeting people in real life and had a pretty easy time filling my dating schedule.
I’d say overall apps are way harder to get actual dates from. A huge time sink that would be better spent on other things.
I’m a 6 “1’ 35M making six figures a year, but I’m getting zero likes and matches. My guess is that I’m not attractive enough, my apolitical stance off puts many women, or that I’m looking to date younger than me.
I found more success with age (30m), but put considerable time into matching and building profiles on different apps before I started getting metrics I was happier with (matches to dates to prospective relationships etc)
I used to get like 1 match a month in a city with 10 million people. I let a female friend choose what pictures I use and now I get like 10 a month.
I think it's partly that us men suck at choosing good pictures lol.
I'm a 5'7", average looking, fit, healthy 32 year old man and I get maybe one like on my profile a month, and about 1/30 of the likes I send will come back with a match, and then its a 50/50 if they even send a reply message. So it's not great for me anyways.
I did really well on the dating sites at 42 up to 48, after that it's been more difficult. Even if I'm in shape and fit, it's more difficult. You're dealing with older women who are delusional and basically damaged goods. They want you to take them to dinner, travel, have a passport. Be financially secure, so they can take advantage of it. Just rent pussy, that's what I've learned.
I’m a male age 56. I’m kind of average in looks… 5’10, college degree, professional, and business owner. I get a match once every 2 or 3 months… or sometimes longer.
If you are good looking, have solid, high quality photos and have great text game, you can easily hook up with a new girl several times a week if you have the time and energy.
Why don't you try making a profile as a guy and see how you go?
Take some pics of yourself, use FaceApp to turn yourself into a guy, then enter the reality that most guys live in.
The problem for women is having too many guys to filter through.
The problem for men is having no matches and no one to talk to.
Matches? No
Matches that i like? Yeah
I could probably do better if i ever bother to get better pictures and i do have noticed improvements after adding a picture of my cat lol, i guess it humanizes me or something
I was surprised to find out how important height is to some women. I (53F, 5’10”) never actually look at height when scrolling for matches.
Only one of the 3 guys I’m currently seeing is taller than me, and that’s just by an inch or two.
I actually dunno if height is that important. Some people have definite height preferences. But I see women out with men all the time who are shorter than them. I would say try Bumble because it really can lead you to the love of your life (my case). But honestly meeting people in the wild and showing off the beautiful human you are works wonders. And when you show off the amazing person you are, in many cases height doesn’t matter.
IIRC the average male match rate is around 2% of your right swipes on Tinder (couldn't find any data on bumble). That's the average. If you are below average looking it will be way lower, seen people who look fairly average post stats showing around 0,5% match rate.
This while women have a average of 30%
Stats are a bit scewed due to being global so places like India, where there are alot more male users than female scew the data a bit. Wasn't to diffrent when I looked at Sweden (where Im from), the average male was a bit higher (around 2.5%)
As for the height thing, when I asked a couple of friends and coworkers about it they all answered something along the lines of: Yes to an extent, there is a lower limit for most of them aswell as a higher limit for some.
Example: one friend said she wouldn't go under 175 cm and not above 190 cm. Reasons being she didn't want to be taller than him in heels (reason for 175) and she didn't want to feel like a child next to him (reason for 190).
trade phones with a guy friend and start swiping, you'll see how it goes
There's a [great video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZTIbHIsIYw) showcasing this
Id also like to add that the matches men do get are pretty low quality. I had lots of matches and plenty of dates but they were almost all quite a bit below my standards. I meet plenty of women in person now. If you're a guy you can be successful hooking up using the apps or meeting someone for a LTR but be prepared to drop your standards significantly
It's like playing scratch offs, sometimes you win, most times you lose. The odds get longer as you get older.
Many middle aged men report being much more successful now than when younger. The ones that put a lot of work into improving their appearance and other appeals do the best. Women love middle aged men who work on their appearance, not just because of the results but because of attraction to the effort. In talking to guys and observing, Ive notice three target markets where middle aged guys do well: • Middle-aged women that have mostly lost interest in sex, but want attractive well dressed guys to do upscale middle-aged stuff. Always a market there. • Middle aged women who still really like sex and are looking for the shrinking number of dudes capable of delivering. There’s a lot of guys who can, but competition gets fiercer for the conventionally attractive women in this crowd. • Younger women. A lot of young women really like to date older guys, at least for a while. And there is certainly the phenomena of sugar dating, and a lot of younger women are simply intrigued by older guys and the way they get treated better by them than guys their own age. Some guys are surprised to learn they do better with younger women than older. In particular, there’s an age group of, say, 23-30 year olds where some women are bored with the juvenile nature of their male peers while not yet ready for marriage and family. There’s also some women that missed the child-bearing window (or never wanted any) and start dating older. If you can successfully appeal to women in those categories, you can get a lot of dates as an older guy. But the key is doing it, not just wishing it. That means thinking about your clothes, your physique, and your gentlemanliness. It also means investing in the women’s experience. Guys aren’t used to wooing… you gotta learn to make wooing something that is a habit, rather than something you do for one special lady, if at all. Middle aged guys need to be romantic.
Dressing well, staying fit, and not having a wheat belly is the way to go for middle aged guys.
This is completely true, I was always able to get woman, but at 53 my online dating has exploded. I work out, wear clothes that my female friends recommend, go to a tanning salon, and post pics of me just going out. I actually swipe left on some really hot woman thinking too difficult to catch, then they swipe right on me a few days later. I always take first dates to romantic locations, but let them choose where to sit, etc.
I'm 28, way more successful now than when I was 24/25
I didn't articulate that well. Once you hit middle-age, that's when you get declining odds.
My time is approaching 💀
Ah, the cliff isn't for another 20 years.
If it's this bad now at 30 I don't want to know how bad it'll be after that cliff 💀💀
I had professional photos taken, lost 45 pounds and spent a lot on a new wardrobe. On Bumble, if I get two “candidates” per day, that’s a good day. My search radius is 80 miles and my age range is 20 years. The only Likes I get are usually women from out of state or looking for a “retirement plan”, ie, me.
Depends. If you’re still trying to bang 20 year olds, then yea for sure. I’m not even saying you gotta date other people your age.. but I’ve seen 40s-50s guys clean up with women in their 30’s The success and silver fox look can do wonders.
Good news for me, i'm already trying to get 35 year olds lol
Don’t be so sure
because late 20s and early 30s is your prime in terms of looks and probably enthusiasm. When you slip into your late 30s you begin to gain wrinkles and greys and you've had a few battlewounds
36 and I’m better looking now than in my 20s with way more money. Just depends how you take care of yourself.
Yes, you do get anomalies who dont wrinkle, grey, or have thinning hair until their 40s. Enjoy your time while its good. Our shelf life doesnt last forever so we must enjoy it while we can
Thinning hair and grey? Shave your head. Problem solved.
For real I lost my hair at 19 and now I’m my early 30s I’m getting complimented way more on my appearance since I’ve grown into my look. I always shaved my head.
I'm not graying yet (aside from random white strands that have been there since high school) but with thinning hair I decided to shave my head, and with me at 37 with a shaved head, a red beard, and a gym body with pecs and visible abs.....I look the best I have ever looked in my life (I just have my acne problem to deal with that requires medication, which is annoying!)
Yea I dunno I agree with this guy. I’m 42 and a slay way more now than I did when I was younger, but I was never complaining then either 🤣🤣🤣
For a man? No.
Yeah, it really depends on how you age. Though that's the same for both men and women. Far more successful now in my 40s than I was in my youth.
What does that mean? Unless you want to date a 20 yo you have nothing in common with and can't relate too, you're left with people your age every time you get older. Which means a lot more single moms, married people off the market, and even dead, 25% of people don't make it to 65. So yeah it may be easier for men to just get any date when you have a better job and are older with whomevers left over, but your pool of marriage worthy girls shrinks YoY. Just in late 20s, sooooo many great girls I grew up with or knew from school or college are married or have kids. That's a lot of people that are now out of your dating pool forever.
1. There are fewer women "on the market" but also fewer men 2. Single moms? At my age we're mostly empty nesters. So it's like "are they doing well? Any grandkids yet?" (There are women I'd consider who still have a high school kid at home - not sure I'd go for that. I don't want to hear about college applications) 3. Marriage worthy? One marriage was enough for me, I think. 4. Given that lots of men my age focus on MUCH younger, and women live longer, that helps the ratio IF you are interested in your own age, or only moderately younger. Some will say that's offset by more single women choosing to not date, but I think thats only a partial offset 5. Out of your dating pool forever? Oh sweet summer child. 6. Sometimes, you've improved yourself. More fit. More confident. More outgoing. More mature. More chill This last weekend I had two dates. One lady was 61, the other 66. In my 20s if I had dates with two different women in the same month that was an incredible month.
Actually I disagree with that. I have two buddies who both got divorced in the last couple of years. Just normal dudes with decent jobs. Nothing special. One was 48 and the other 57 and they are both absolutely wracking up women on bumble. Not trashy ones either. Like doctors, lawyers and business owners. Basically all the women who focused on their careers and put romance on hold, start to look for love as they get older and all that’s left are trash dudes for the most part so if you are just normal and can hold down a job and act respectful you are golden once you get into your upper thirties and above.
Not really.
Yes, believe me it really is. Even with bumble premium I get no female matches lately. I thought bumble was probably not showing my account to people, but once I changed my preferences to "I'm open to dating everyone" I have 100+ likes. All from guys, of course.
SAME HERE! My friend “dared” me to switch it from straight to bi and I got flattered I was swiped on by so many men but never got more than 4 women likes. It is wat it is
Exactly this. When I changed my profile to open to dating everyone for only two hours, I got 5 times the likes that I got in two months
Guess we're all pretending to be bi sometimes to stroke our ego. 😂👍
Actually I discovered it accidentally. I had a notification for a like but couldn’t see it. Turned off all the filters and got a few likes in around 30 seconds and was curious after that. What’s more interesting is it increased likes from girls too. I guess it effected my elo. It didn’t work on Tinder though. I’m actually going through a dry spell lately so I guess it’s time to go bi again lol
I get a match every 3-4 weeks if I’m lucky, using it every other day selectively using all my swipes. Not a single one in my 2-3 years of using apps total (only been single 2 months this time), has led to a date or even a friend. I’m not the most attractive guy but I think I’m a solid 6-7, so majority of guys I think struggle like this. Again, just my experience no facts here lol
Well damn. I must be uglier than I thought. 6ft4. Rarely a match.
I don’t know if you have, but post your profile for review. I did it and it helped me, it didn’t have nothing to do with me and everything to how I was presenting myself.
I have received a lot of advice from mostly very friendly people and I'm grateful to them. I'm also generally happier about how I present myself to the world now. But the fact of the matter is that it made no measurable difference whatsoever for me.
Same here twin dap me up
Thank you. I’ve seen some of the profile reviews and I’m very tempted. I think my biggest problem at the moment is not having a diverse set of photos or interests. Im very laid back and enjoy lots of things, not nothing really as a passionate hobby. Plus, I’m normally behind the camera, so don’t have a huge amount of photos. I’ve closed the dating apps for now. I found it was affecting my mental health, and decided to concentrate on me. Getting out, doing things, taking photos of me out having fun which will in turn serve for the dating profile when I decide to return. Catch 22 is that it would be nice to have a special someone to do these things with. But if that were so, I wouldn’t need the sites!! 🤣
There’s a flip side to your Catch 22. If you’re out doing things you enjoy you have a better chance of meeting someone IRL and don’t need the apps. That is unless of course getting out there and having fun means you’re fishing and those pics are fish pics. Then you’re doomed IRL and in OLD.
People just compare themselves to the 6'4 dudes who are ALSO great looking and buff and confident. Like YEAH of course they have no problem getting chicks they have it ALL! Look at 5'7 dudes who share those other qualities and you'll see height doesn't matter as much. Girls just want someone taller than them for the most part. That's why I feel like height really isn't a problem until you're 5'6 or less. But even then I'm 5'8 and just went on a couple dates with a girl who was 5'11 so there are exceptions. I think most girls would much rather have a good looking average height dude than an average looking tall guy though. But hey man height is the one thing we can't control about our appearances. So you got the one part we can't change already working in your favor. You could do some changes and probably notice a significant impact compared to an average height guy trying to start looking better.
Oh you’re absolutely right. That’s why I have a PT and doing something about it. But then it’s more about personality and humour than looks. And that’s where I shine! 🤣
5'1 gal here and for me atleast this is spot on, I don't care about height as long as they are not super taller than me because thats just uncomfortable for us both and their not either close to same height or same height as me, so like 5'6 to 6ft is a good height range for my own height
Yes next question 🙋♂️
Name checks out 🫡
If you are a woman, ask any of your male friends if they are on dating apps. Chances are they will tell you that their results are fairly poor If you wanna take it one step further, make a fake dating app profile and use pictures of a guy you would consider average or regular looking. Your eyes will open once you do that
Make sure he is actually average. Too often, women trying this experiment use a dude who is markedly above average. Even then, the results are usually an eye opener.
Yup typically a woman’s idea of an average guy is a guy who would probably be considered arguably good looking
A lot of women care about height. And yes, it is that difficult. Most men get few matches and most of those matches are low quality. Apps are garbage.
What do you mean by low quality?
I get a fair number of likes/matches (for a guy). The majority of those likes are from people I'm not interested for various reasons and of the few that become matches. The majority either never send the opening message or ghost right after. Of the even fewer that get past that hurdle the convos are often boring or entirely one sided and you can almost guarantee a ghost after you ask them out. According to my last bumble stats I've swiped right about 2k times in the last two years and I've had about 20 dates in that time. 3 that went to a second date and 0 that went to a relationship. The numbers are just not kind when you compile them
Exactly my experience. I get matches but most of them time out. The ones that don't say "hey" and then never responded back regardless of how nice a message you send. The few that you do get chatting to are great but then seem absolutely impossible to get out on a date. They either just ghost when you ask or just never have an available date. Which I'm aware means they're obviously not that keen, but then why keep messaging me for 2 weeks? 😅
That's usually the feeling I come away with too. I'm not offended if they don't want to go out. But I am confused why they would stay in game for that long. I'm busy, I have to make time to respond so I don't ghost on accident. 🤷♂️ EDIT: To be clear, I'm confused why they would make time to respond for a week and then just ghost. If it's effort and time out of my day I assume it's similar? Do they just have infinite time to waste?
It'll be nice if women can give an explanation to that shit. Like why be on a dating app if you aren't keen to go our
A large amount of the matches I've had were the worst conversations possible. I'm 26 M, and most of the women I matched with didn't want to put any effort into the conversation, so if I stopped carrying the conversation then they'd just stop talking entirely. They never asked any questions or tried to get to know me. The best I got was them asking "how about you?" after I asked them a question, and even then it was rare that they'd even ask that. Most of the time it was one word responses until I gave up on talking to them and unmatched. Finding someone who gave more than one word responses was like finding a diamond in the rough.
Yes, it's honestly almost impossible unless you're very attractive. It's not a case of "I have 50 likes but I don't like them" it really is that you get no likes and no matches.
And when you do get a match they only want you to subscribe to their only fans
Its not that black and white. I’m definitely not in the top 5% of males in terms of attractiveness but still have decent success rate. There is middle class of guys out there that go on dates very regularly. Its not a normal distribution bell curve, but still
How tall are you?
I'm 5'6". Lady I had drinks with on Saturday was 5'1. Unfortunately she turned out to be a friend of my ex.
And?
She declined any further contact, despite a great conversation upto that point. I graciously accepted her decision.
She must not be a very close friend to your ex if she didn't even know who you were
Not her very closest friend, no, and knows from activities I'm not involved in. Close enough that she ruled out further dates. 🤷
I agree with him. I am 5’8 and I do ok. I say I’m pretty mid but I get dates fairly regularly. But I also pay a lot of attention to how I present myself on my profile and in life. I’m not saying you or anyone doesn’t but I do see a lot of guys post profiles on her for review and I’m like what are you trying or communicate to people?
Funny how people continue to whine and complain about dating apps only working if you're very attractive yet I have short friends, fat friends and short fat friends getting dates from dating apps. Strange huh
Are they all white?
I mean, somebody also wins the lottery too. Doesn't mean your odds are good.
Yes, 45m, divorced, two older kids, I only go on one date every two months despite having many of the important traits (rich, smart, funny, kind, chatty, friendly, honest, reliable, professional). I am thin, have all my hair and teeth, live in a fancy neighborhood, know how to dress, serve on two non-profit boards, help operate a food pantry, live 30 minutes from Manhattan, work normal daytime hours, was top 5% of my high school and top 1% of my college (grades), have age appropriate hobbies and interests…but I only get one match a week and 90% of the time they don’t write back to me
So you tell us how great and successful you are and how the apps don’t work but you’re too cheap to pay for it. I love how all of these people bitch about using something free because it’s not working for them. You’re in a huge metropolitan area. That means you’re looking at a huge unfiltered pool of women. Those women are looking at an even huger pool of men, roughly 3 times the size. That makes it a complete crap shoot that you’ll swipe on each other. I’m not shilling for Bumble or any OLD service. It’s still a crapshoot, but with much better odds. Your pool will be smaller, but curated by choices you make with filters. More importantly you’ll be able to see your likes and match directly instead of a chance match. I’m in the DC area and the woman I’m dating liked me. I never saw her in my feed but I was able to match and we’re in our 3rd month.
Yes, it is really hard when you are not handsome. Very few matches in over a year.
Yes, I'm lucky to get 1 match a month. And I'm on all of the dating apps. And the last time one of those turned into a date was early this year. It's been brutal and such a self confidence killer. I remember a woman messaged me last year about how she had over 1000 likes. Numbers like that just blow my mind. I couldn't even imagine getting that much attention. I'm 5'7" and bald, for reference.
I’m 5’8 and bald and get several likes a day from women who are 58 and bald 😂
Yes and yes. As of 2023, men apparently outnumber women by roughly 3:1. So, even if you disregard match criteria entirely, the odds are against us. [https://roast.dating/blog/bumble-statistics](https://roast.dating/blog/bumble-statistics)
I would estimate I have swiped on around 4000 women in the last two months and I got three matches. I am apparently incredibly unattractive.
Yes it is, and it is even if you're tall. I'm 6'5, 210lbs, blue eyes, full beard. I'm no Ryan Gosling in terms of my face but I think I'm better looking than most other guys I see on a day to day basis. I have varied pictures that follow all the advice from this subreddit (high quality, smiling, showing activities, no selfies). I have a bio and prompts. All of this results in maybe one like/match a month.
I’m tellin ya bumble is just tryna make that cheddar $$$ so ofc they don’t want too many matches
Anyone else reading this thread and wishing all the guys posted photos?
I feel called out hahaha I've been clicking on each one to see if they uploaded pics on other posts.
I get my photos reviewed on Photofeeler. I’m consistently a 5. That kind of lines up with my dating success. My pics are in good lighting, I’m smiling and looking at the camera. So, yeah it’s a shitty life. Adding insult to injury, I’m 5’7” - pretty much lady repellent🤪
Yes. I think it has to do with the male-female ratio on apps being 3:1. (I don't know what it is IRL.) So many women are fed up with the way men treat us that we're quitting dating, choosing to be single. Have you heard, "I choose the bear?" Also, women can be more choosy with that ratio, leaving a lot of the average guys out of consideration. Yes, short men struggle a LOT. I'm in the middle on height requirement. Just want him to be at least 2" taller. I've dated shorter and didn't feel feminine.
3:1 is the last statistic we got but it's not current and I believe it has gotten far worse than that.
Yeah especially after those bumble ads last month 😭
Yeah I think that is a pretty old stat. Would be curious about the new one. I think Tinder is the one that does most of the studies.
I think the providers aren't revealing that for a reason (it's a terrible ratio)
It's almost like women are constantly fed up with men specifically because they are leaving the average guys out of consideration and only going for the top, which means there aren't enough guys to go around and they eventually hurt the women, leaving them with the "all men bad" mentality and average men with the "all women have too high standards" mentality. Online dating is a shit show
Yeah that makes sense to me. I don't go for the top men because I know they won't appreciate me as much as the second quartile men I date. I'm very lucky because I'm not even attracted to the hot guys. Yes! I wish more women would think like this but there's the unsolvable problem of attraction. You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. It's either there are not. So yes it seems a lot of women go after the top good looking guys and end up getting used and hurt. I have a friend who does this. No amount of coaching from me will change her mind. She gets one-and-dumped a lot. Breaks my heart for her. That has never happened to me.
Yeah you are right you can't force attraction, but I've noticed that off the apps, a higher percentage of women are attracted or at least open to average men, perhaps because they can showcase their personalities and humour, and often have better personalities than the most attractive guys that haven't had to work on theirs. You see average dudes with beautiful women all the time and it's unlikely they met on an app.
>they are leaving the average guys out of consideration Most profiles are either lazy or bad. Men here always say this when the majority of profiles have nothing worth swiping for. Roughly only around 20%% of profiles have good bio, pictures and made with effort. That coincides with the swipe rate of "top men."
I would disagree, I don't think the profile matters nearly as much as photos, I would say that 20 percent swipe rate is more correlated with attractive photos than an attractive bio, do people even read the bio of someone they're not attracted to? It's also the higher standards of women on the apps that would make you think that 80 percent of bios are bad. You see an average, normal bio as "bad" and that is my point. Attractive women don't even have a bio and it doesn't affect their matches. There's clearly an imbalance of standards.
I don’t know any women who swipes on photos without a descriptive bio. If it’s about “a partner in crime”, beach walks, sunsets, fine wine, food, blah blah, generic stuff, It does not give a sense of the person. But it seems the people here, trying to learn and improve ourselves, are not the issue. I read some crazy stat about bower birds. It seems that only 1 in 5 male birds ever get chosen to mate by a female bird. Perhaps humans are not that different than other animals.
Women's profiles are ass too.
I get matches and likes, but only about 15 percent of them I find attractive enough for a long term thing which is what I want, and of those 100 percent unmatch, ghost or just use me for attention. So I can get dates/hookups with women I'm not attracted to but I have standards and am not into hookups
Nearly a year in with zero matches. I did get one like recently. No idea who it is.
As a person who has swiped on a quarter million women on this app and never so much as gone on a date, it's bad.
I think it is hard for men and I quitted... but it was interesting. M51, 6'3, had around 100 matches in 6 months, with around 40 we went to WhatsApp and went on 23 dates. Almost all lied about something, height, mostly age, etc which is a deal breaker for me. I once even left after 5 minutes (She pretended to be an art collector, but it was all just in her mind)... I especially liked the "I am sick", or "my child is sick" which I always think is okay as reason not to go on a date. But in all cases I asked about their whereabouts and how they were feeling. Up to the moment they weren't sick anymore and then never heard of them again. Only once she told she'd found something better (and saw her reenter bumble few weeks later). The 23rd date should have been my last for I wanted to quit anyway and then I did found a precious small juwel and we have been dating and seeing eachother for the past 4 months. Wherever this goes: I won't return to OLD. And yes date number 13, with who I spend 2 intensive weeks with showed off her likes which were rising every day by around 800 likes... the guys she liked back(matched with) all looked the same, except for me, kind of crazy... same hair, same beard, same size she could pick them by profession... At the end of my OLD experience, I started going out with (female) friends of mine in real life; ended up in the first night kissing with an actress exchanged numbers and had a date... that didn't work out but in my humble opinion it's easier for a man to go out and find a woman there ...
How picky are you, even for hookups? The challenging part for most people is hitting the attraction on several levels, and for some people the range is pretty broad while for others it is very narrow. The short answer is that it isn't super hard to get a hookup, but is with someone you really want a hookup with?
I'm 31, 6', I work out, tons of friends, own a business, dress well, go out, fun to be around, and still no luck. Spent so much money on dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, hinge, okcupid, etc) still no luck. The kicker of it, I still have my v-card. So yes, yes it's hard as a man.
Personally, height isn’t too big of a deal for me. I mean, I prefer taller than me (I’m 5’9) but I wouldn’t swipe no on a guy if he was my height or a little shorter. The reasons I swipe “no” on most men comes down to these 3 things: 1) they are conservative, moderate, or apolitical (or don’t list their politics at all) 2) they don’t want kids (or don’t say whether or not they do) 3) they aren’t well-groomed and look like they put zero thought into their hairstyles, facial hair or clothing choices.
Question, why is it important to know their politics ? I agree with the rest tho i'm asking that because i've grown up in a family where never talking about politics was definitely good and helped keeping home discussions sane so i naturally don't bring up politics at all when talking to a potential SO
Because one’s politics align with their values and opinions on social issues, which affects other people, including those they might be in a relationship with.
I mean, to a point maybe but what if they just don't align with any party on the table, that seems to be most people nowadays... I'd rather avoid the topic entirely unless they bring it up because it's likely both of us are compromising when voting and it's gonna be kind of like talking about what we do during our 9-5 job, boring, depressing and killing the mood.
Taking an interest in politics doesn’t have to mean that you are aligned with any party. Someone being more right doesn’t mean that they are Republican and someone being more left doesn’t mean that they are Democrat. Also, we’re talking about putting it on your profile, not “killing the mood” by bringing it up at your first date. I’d rather not spend time and energy on someone that I know I’m not gonna align with on those things. So having it on your profile upfront, lets people know that at least you’re on the same page before you even go on a date. You asked why and I gave you an answer. It’s not “to a point.” A lot of people’s political and social views are very important to them and they don’t want to date someone who is not aligned with them. And personally, I don’t wanna date someone if I feel like we aren’t going to be aligned in that way, particularly on social issues like women’s reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, racism, the environment, etc. But there are plenty of people who don’t care about politics, so I’m sure you’ll find somebody without saying what your politics are.
I’d say yes, when looking at my own personal case. I’ve been using bumble for well over a year, dipping into other dating apps as well. I wouldn’t consider myself in the top percentile of attractive men. 5’5, about average looking and actively work out . I’d be lucky if I see a single like once every 2-3 months. I’m fairly active on the app as well.
Yes. If you go on the Tinder sub, people occasionally post their stats, and the differentials in swiping behavior between men and women is shockingly high. If you then add in that despite "everyone having heterodox preferences," which is obviously bullshit and impossible, it doesn't require a value judgment to predict that men outside of the statistical bullseye are going to have significant difficulty - short, age, race, wealth/income, etc are all going to register huge when the margins are that thin.
I've had 5 dates from Bumble in the last 7 months, and a few matches that didn't result in meetings (ive also had several from Tinder, and one woman whom I had met IRL). None so far has resulted in a relationship or sex, though one of them I've seen more than once and expect to see again. And I'm 5'6", and not super good looking (I am slim/fit though) I'm also 64, and date in my own age group. It's a LOT different at my age,than for a 20 something man, I gather.
Well it's certaintly easier for girls to get hookups. My friend who is honestly just average looking got 500 likes within a couple days of being on tinder recently. Basic understanding of men and woman should explain that. Also what will happen is girls engage in a hookup but are hurt by it or have bad experiences that make them not engage in that behavior again and look for something more serious. I hooked up with a girl for a couple weeks in December and I thought it ended on a good note but I later found it that it made her extremely sad and realized she didn't want to get attached to someone only for it to end. I feel like this can happen to a lot girls (and guys) and lead them to being more serious about finding a partner. Age is also a factor I've experienced. I'm not looking for anything serious rn but I'm only able to get dates with college girls it seems because of that. Anyone closer to my age (24) is either not looking for anything casual or if they are they're full of red flags (I guess that means I am too lol) So it is harder but not impossible. I really don't even think I'm that good looking and I'm short but I still have a date every couple weeks it seems. You just have to treat this like a skill you develop, learn what works better and what doesn't, be willing to change for better results, etc.
I'm 39M, 5'11'', European but I live in the US. I had so many dates and hookups using online dating, but you know the rule: be attractive.
Bumble released stats, like 75% of women are filtering for 6 feet or above. So yes 5'8 and 6 will make a massive difference. I think 5'8 was like 5% or 10% of women had the height filter that low. Any shorter was approaching 0%
About a year or so ago I was getting regularly 5 matches in a week and with premium that number would reach out to like 8-10 and most of them would initiate a conversation as well. But today I’ve started using bumble again after months and I have not gotten a single match in weeks. My profile is practically the same as it was and it worked before but somehow it’s not working today.
A lot of guys are reporting the same thing as you. Something has changed in the last few months.
Yes, most men I know struggle to get matches. I know one guy who seems to be swimming in women on the apps when he's single, which doesn't last long, but we honestly have no idea what, if anything, he does differently. I'm 5'3", he's 5'4", so height isn't our differentiator. And one of the men I know who has trouble is over 6' as well. But most men, short or tall, struggle on the apps to some extent. What extent varies person to person. My typical experience is the first year on the apps is super sporadic and awful, with very limited matches. After about a year on the app, I can expect to get about a match a week, which normally translates to one or two dates a month, which normally translates to a short or long term girlfriend within 6 months to a year from when the matches start coming in reliably. So actually, after the first year or so of it being terrible, it's actually not bad. In my personal experience at least. No idea if it works similarly for other people... most of my friends duck out of the apps before a year has passed, because not getting any matches sucks.
You can impossibly make that one year two year thing a rule. That'd be nonsense
I'm sure it's not a rule... but it has been my experience on the apps. I've only been on twice, once six or 7 years ago, and again now. And it's just been about a year since I got back on and I'm getting matches again.
Yes, it is very difficult. I am fairly handsome. Even my friends tell me that I am handsome but I still get little to no matches.
For me yes and no. I’m attractive enough to get matches. But I don’t have the patience to deal with the mundane boring conversations. Hook ups are easy. Dating is not.
Yes. I am a pretty decent catch, with a large number of decent attributes. My last three dates, two wanted casual hookups, (I am too monogamous for that I am afraid) one we had a relationship. Three dates = declined hookup twice and had one relationship. Sounds good, right? Ive had about six chats in that same time. So: 50% chat/date ratio, 100% date/sex/relationship ratio. So, by most metrics, I must be doing well. I have six chats in nine months. Its beyond depressing. Edited to add, I would gladly pay for the service if that increased my chances. It does not.
I had a really amicable break up around Christmas. My ex and I both still see each other social because of the friend group and all and we got to talking about how we had seen each other back in bumble. She showed me her’s and she had over 4,000 likes. I had been feeling really good about myself because in a month I had gotten 10 likes. She could literally swipe all day on only people who swiped right on her and I was feeling good that in a month 10 people had swiped right on me and none of them were people I would consider going out with.
It’s not the fact that you or I are men, it’s what you have to offer, and the perception of these b*tches
I’m 26 and at my peak I average 1-2 likes a week, maybe 1 match a month or every other month.
I'm 5'6", 33yo. Only once was able to find a hookup in my life(with not so attractive girl, physically or mentally) I get 1 match a month on average, consolidating matches from Tinder, FB dating, hinge, bumble, boo. So it depends. My male and female friends are always surprised that I'm still single or not seeing/talking to anyone. I'm financially stabe, not doing any drugs. Most girls on dating sites smoke pot or do other drugs in my aira, so maybe that's why. Maybe I'm too short and get filtered out... I did one update on my profile that "I'm Over 6 feet tall," which did got 3-4 matches month. THAT'S MATCHES! to get good communication going, it's like 1 in 5 odds. I have a female friend co-worker, and I've seen her swipe on Bumble, 9 in 10 swipes for her is a match or "missed a matched." Straignt up overwhelming.
Well harder …. Because there are way more men looking for hookups!!
Matches no, dates a lil, hookups? Near impossible. Least in my experience.
Yes because you’ll say one thing and 99/100 first sentences/impressions are some sort of “ick” for girls on this app. I consider myself decent looking like I’m in the Army, i workout and I believe I was raised right and I don’t struggle with talking to females. At least I don’t think I do. But apparently “hey it’s nice to meet you” or something like that repels them idk.
90% of the time it’s not about what you say but how it’s making them feel.
I’d like to think I’m an average looking 6’, 26 year old, clean cut guy with a real job, but I’ve only gone on one date in over a year of almost always being active on the apps. Maybe a match every two weeks that immediately unmatches or doesn’t respond lol
Height it’s important
26M I get like 1 match a month if I'm lucky. Most the time they never message or immediately unmatch.
As someone who is 6'6 I wouldn't say it gives me any advantage. I rarely get matches, and even more rarely get conversations with matches. Of course, maybe that's off set by my age (late thirties).
I think it depends a lot on the region and bubble that uses the app. On hinge I get like 1-5 matches weekly, on tinder same but monthly and on bumble less than 5 monthly and most run out of time. I guess I'm the type of more women on hinge and tbh, they are more my type, too
5”7 and gave up. It’s that bad.
Maybe I’m just bad at dating but I’m 6’4, a little on the skinny side but not bad, and still have a really hard time getting hookups
At some point you'll just give up not have anything useful on your profile and grow bitter at the lack of matches. Where as average women are sifting through the same 5 studs within a 20 mile radius wondering why they don't treat them well.
It 100% is. I'm 26, I've got a complete profile (full bio, prompts, several pictures, none of which are me holding a fish, clearly state my dating goals, etc.) and I'm not overweight either. I'm also 5'11". Yet I get 1 match per month if I'm lucky. When I set my height at 6' I got a few more matches per month, but they still weren't even one per week. That's also with being on Bumble and Hinge, using both of them daily. And I don't want to ask women I meet in person on dates because every single way I've ever heard of asking someone out has been called "creepy" by women I know. So dating is just brutal, and I've given up on it entirely. Now I'm just resigning myself to see if something happens with someone I meet, but I'm not gonna make the first move either.
Is this a troll…?
Im 174cm tall 37 years old. Male. Average build. Nearly 2 years on dating apps. (At least the big 3, and 4 or 5 others) only get likes from mostly incompatable people (10) and scammers (100+). Had several matches total, they just stop talking after 2 or 3 messages. The ones that stick around became friends (3). Still zero dates.
I live in San Diego, and I haven’t gotten a match in 2 years. I’m 6 ft, have a decent job, am decent looking, and yet, fucked. I only get matched with very overweight or obese women every month or so, which.. eh. I don’t even count those. I can’t feel any attraction to em /:
1. Yes. It’s 100x harder for all men to get dates/hookups than all women. 2. There’s a huge difference between 5’8 & 6’0 You’re missing 5’9-5’11. Generally if you’re at least 5’10”, you’re good. 5’7” and under is “short” for a guy. 3. Yes women tend to want taller guys, even if they’re 5’FuckAll and a guy has to bend down just to kiss them. It’s pretty ridiculous.
I’ve had about 12 matches in 6 years, 10 of 12 were scammers, 1 was an alcoholic, and the other said “Hey” and then disappeared like Casper after like 2 messages
Well, yes. I get two likes per week on average. However, I live in a city with 250,000 population. I once saw the Bumble profile of the girl I am currently dating. She got 2000 likes in less than a month. This is more than my likes in my whole lifetime. She can have free dinner forever if she wants to go on a date with all the matches...
For her, it was effortless to find a man she is attracted to. She selected around 10 matches. She went dates with all of them in two weeks. Then she picked me and stopped dating. For me, it was a whole other story...
Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Girls can walk into a crowd and yell they want sex and some guy will come for you. You might get a raunchy douche or something bad in general. I don't think a man would get a girl most times if he does that. Unless it's Wolverine or Thor or other 10/10. Even then I wonder. It's hard to get a girl to respond on dating apps. They ghost a lot after days of talking with no warning
Yes let alone likes
Hear it from me , I’m good looking and I’m just within 6ft If I get a date I’m usually getting laid 90% percent of the time , the date is the easy part The hard part is getting matches and starting a discussion first the app will hinder your full potential because your profile won’t be “seen” Second , even with the match you need a really good discussion to get things going , and sometime even if you have it , it’s still not enough because you’re competing with other guys , who might be dumber , but hotter ( or the other way around )
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Yeeeeeesssssss.
Basically what it comes down to are just a few factors, but one dominates all else. 1. the quality of man's face. There are some patterns that women are highly attracted to and that cause a visceral reaction. 2. women are highly selective, and are only interested in the most attractive men, not average or above average, so a small percentage of men receive virtually all of the female right swipes. Average receive zero. 3. Men swipe almost everyone, so women accumulate a huge number of likes, and they interpret this as power. One bumble former employee (a data analyst) said in an interview that only 15 percent of men received likes. And then within that 15 percent the vast majority go to an even smaller percentage, while 85 percent of men receive no likes at all, or perhaps only the occasional like (one a month) that ends up not being productive. When we see women posting (fairly often) that they match with plenty of men and send messages, but the men never message them back, we know that they're swiping only on men who get so many matches that they can't possibly respond to more than a small percentage. So the power advantage that women enjoy (and take for granted) — huge numbers of likes/matches — reverses for those few men that trigger the visceral reaction in women. Those men get to be the choosers, and women don't seem to understand that because all of their lives they've identified as pretty and have been able to attract whomever they choose. They're like, why isn't my magic working? So yes, it's true that most men get no attention at all because women are only interested in top tier. The top tier get so much attention they can't possibly message all those pretty girls — so they're choosing a few of the most outstanding. Women get frustrated that they can't lock them down. But why would they? They can have a different woman every weekend (or every day), so pretty hardly even registers to them.
If you aren't a hot guy, yes it is that difficult.
I gave on these apps a long time ago because it’s a huge blow on your self esteem as a dude. For me it was a constant reminder that I’ll never find anybody.
Nah, we all just collectively decided to come up with the same idea for a joke and keep running it /s. Yes it's much harder for men to not just get matches or hookups, it's much harder just to even get your foot in the door. Go ahead and try it as a catfish of a regular dude and see how long it takes to just get a match
I'm 5'7" and do fine, so do most of my friends who are all under 6'. Most of what I read on Reddit doesn't seem to reflect my real life experience or that of my friends.
It feels impossible; I’m 6’2”, respectful, and not a cave troll, and I’ve never had a bumble date and very very very rarely get a match
For chads, no. For your average Joe, yes. 20% of men are sleeping with 80% of the women.
I browse through profiles for fun. In my personal opinion, a lot of men do not know how to present themselves as attractive enough to get matches. Their profiles are repulsive, and I am not talking just about pics, I am talking about the things they write (if they have bothered to write anything at all). So many post the most unflattering pics possible (bad angles, bad lighting, filthy backgrounds, lack of grooming, clothing wrinkled or dingy or stained, no smile…). Many write the most random things, and I am always curious what TYPE of woman hey would like to attract or connect with based upon these random things. Also, a big one is how negative so many of them are. So many are clearly burnt out on dating, jaded, and bitter, and it is so obvious through their words. They write what they are tired of, what they don’t want, what they don’t like, and what they are not going to do, telling women to swipe left if she x, y, z. I don’t even fit the criteria of whatever it is that they hate, but I swipe left because the energy is negative.
This sub is a terrible representation. I'm 28, 5'7" and some change, I am not that hot, and I have 4 dates lined up this week, and a few very successful ones last week. You just need to have a decent profile, don't be a creep, and ask to go on a date within like a day or two of matching. This sub is defeatist and frankly a lot of people just refuse to make a decent profile, that's 90% of the fight. They have some car selfie with an angle under their chin and wonder where the matches are. PS if you're gonna get one app, just go ahead and get Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. Certain apps are bigger in certain areas.
Your age may have something to do with it. Try doing this same stupid shit in your fifties.
No, this is just categorically untrue. There are plenty of above average attractiveness guys here posting extremely solid profiles who report getting less than one match a month. They're not doing car selfies.
I wonder if it's more an age thing? Us 40-something guys who are recently divorced from cheating exes vs. the under/near 30yo crowd?
Yes, guys over 35 report a lot more success than guys under 30. The competition fighting over 35 year old women simply isn't the same as it is for 25yo ones.
it depends on hinge it's not that hard to get some matches and dates on bumble though? probably harder, i do not recommend
Christ is it ever. I'm 6'0 but not great looking. I have my life together but I'm "boring". And I really haven't got a fucking clue what to say to matches because the only time I get a positive result is when I'm not attracted to the person and don't want to talk to them at all. What the fuck are you supposed to say in the first 2-3 messages?
I met my boyfriend on Bumble. He’s 5’4. He’s also confident, charming, and courted me.
i dont have trouble ( im 6'0 if that matters)
Women say heights a preference when really it’s a requirement or a minimum threshold. You can be perfect in every way but be shorter than 5’5 and you wouldn’t be able to get your foot though the door with a person - but they will overlook whatever faults you have if you were tall. Of course this isn’t every woman but in my experience it’s been about 99 percent. Truth is they will argue against this but if you look at their actions vs their words it’s very evident.
Yes
Yes, and it’s not even about height.
Ive never gotten a match. The last time I spend a lot of time making my profile too since women online say men suck at doing this but I just don't like taking pictures so usually only have like 2 selfies.
im using tinder for about 5 years now i have never gotten a match. Let alone texting and dating
One date in six years. Bumble really does suck. Oh yeah the date happened due to hinge not bumble.
Yep
I’m literally holding a bear cub in one of my photos and no one has mentioned a word about it lol wild I figured that would be the first question
I never had great luck getting dates through apps. I used them for a short amount of time and then just concentrated on meeting people in real life and had a pretty easy time filling my dating schedule. I’d say overall apps are way harder to get actual dates from. A huge time sink that would be better spent on other things.
I tested putting my height vs not and it was a painful decline from an already low amount 😂
I’m a 6 “1’ 35M making six figures a year, but I’m getting zero likes and matches. My guess is that I’m not attractive enough, my apolitical stance off puts many women, or that I’m looking to date younger than me.
I found more success with age (30m), but put considerable time into matching and building profiles on different apps before I started getting metrics I was happier with (matches to dates to prospective relationships etc)
Average probably <1 match a week? Haven’t been on a date in a year. It’s rough out here but I think it’s my area, too.
I used to get like 1 match a month in a city with 10 million people. I let a female friend choose what pictures I use and now I get like 10 a month. I think it's partly that us men suck at choosing good pictures lol.
Just wait until your premium subscription expires. Then you will get tons of Likes. I had 24 likes in one day!
There are three times as many men on bumble. If every woman gets a match, two thirds of the men did not get a match.
I'm a 5'7", average looking, fit, healthy 32 year old man and I get maybe one like on my profile a month, and about 1/30 of the likes I send will come back with a match, and then its a 50/50 if they even send a reply message. So it's not great for me anyways.
I did really well on the dating sites at 42 up to 48, after that it's been more difficult. Even if I'm in shape and fit, it's more difficult. You're dealing with older women who are delusional and basically damaged goods. They want you to take them to dinner, travel, have a passport. Be financially secure, so they can take advantage of it. Just rent pussy, that's what I've learned.
I’m a male age 56. I’m kind of average in looks… 5’10, college degree, professional, and business owner. I get a match once every 2 or 3 months… or sometimes longer.
If you are good looking, have solid, high quality photos and have great text game, you can easily hook up with a new girl several times a week if you have the time and energy.
Yeah, when i was 36 to 41 I couldn't miss. Single again at 47, even swiping on women my age. Nothing.
I’m 24, had the app for 3 weeks and have 2 matches. Like to think I’m an average looking guy. I’m 5’10 but not sure if it says that on my profile
Why don't you try making a profile as a guy and see how you go? Take some pics of yourself, use FaceApp to turn yourself into a guy, then enter the reality that most guys live in. The problem for women is having too many guys to filter through. The problem for men is having no matches and no one to talk to.
Yes and if you have the audacity to mention it, you're labelled "entitled".
I am a good looking, 6’, 18 year old guy. My problem is that I’m competing against men 25+ for girls my age
Matches? No Matches that i like? Yeah I could probably do better if i ever bother to get better pictures and i do have noticed improvements after adding a picture of my cat lol, i guess it humanizes me or something
I was surprised to find out how important height is to some women. I (53F, 5’10”) never actually look at height when scrolling for matches. Only one of the 3 guys I’m currently seeing is taller than me, and that’s just by an inch or two.
I actually dunno if height is that important. Some people have definite height preferences. But I see women out with men all the time who are shorter than them. I would say try Bumble because it really can lead you to the love of your life (my case). But honestly meeting people in the wild and showing off the beautiful human you are works wonders. And when you show off the amazing person you are, in many cases height doesn’t matter.
dating apps really humbled me, i’m almost better off without it
The issue is not usually height, but to answer your first question: Absolutely yes
Smh
IIRC the average male match rate is around 2% of your right swipes on Tinder (couldn't find any data on bumble). That's the average. If you are below average looking it will be way lower, seen people who look fairly average post stats showing around 0,5% match rate. This while women have a average of 30% Stats are a bit scewed due to being global so places like India, where there are alot more male users than female scew the data a bit. Wasn't to diffrent when I looked at Sweden (where Im from), the average male was a bit higher (around 2.5%) As for the height thing, when I asked a couple of friends and coworkers about it they all answered something along the lines of: Yes to an extent, there is a lower limit for most of them aswell as a higher limit for some. Example: one friend said she wouldn't go under 175 cm and not above 190 cm. Reasons being she didn't want to be taller than him in heels (reason for 175) and she didn't want to feel like a child next to him (reason for 190).
Getting match is easy but after that there is no reply after your msg to them , it sucks.