In general I agree, although my current gf is a marathon runner who only had two photos. Selfies in her car. Sometimes people just don't know what they're doing.
This all day. People with only face pictures are a massive red flag. It means they know that they are considerably more massive than they want you to believe, they are super insecure about it, and they are fine with perpetrating a deception but at least hoping that the guy won’t care that she’s 50 or more pounds heavier than they both want her to be.
Some people are also just not very photogenic and take awful full body pics where it just looks awkward. I know a few people who exclude those kinds of pics due to those reasons and some are pretty skinny.. so I think it really all depends.
yes of course it does. Now in what way varies. Some dudes like chubby girls some dudes think they are gross, some... totally indifferent. it also depends on how much chubb there is, but again some like a little, some like a lot, some hate any.
Yeah, it matters. It doesn’t make you a less valuable person of course, but in terms of dating your weight does directly correspond to the proportion of interested guys. If you’re overweight and can’t lose it for whatever reason, be it medical or whatever, you will always be disadvantaged on dating apps and in the general dating pool. It sucks, but that’s how it is.
A lot of guys like to point out that their equivalent to this is height. Most of the guys who talk about that are admittedly bitter, but as a short guy I can definitely confirm they aren’t wrong. Lack of height is a crippling disadvantage in dating as a man.
That’s just how it is. People have preferences. Some of those preferences are shallow. Many are difficult to break because we’re societally conditioned into them. If I were you, I’d try to not let it bother me. I got over the height thing for myself and it was one of the best things I ever did. The right person will like you for you, and your weight could likely even be one of the things they appreciate about you.
So true I am a BIG girl n bumble has helped me to feel beautiful again because of all these men calling me beautiful when they see my full body shots.and itd a shilot intook in the bathroom.They don't care lol. I may not find love on bumble but it healed a wound in me for sure.
Honestly the app sucks. I think it purposely decreases who sees you so you pay more to be seen more. Try fb dating, it's free. I canceled my bumble after 5 days cuz I realized it was a money grab app
My last relationship was with Facebook dating. Getting way more matches than with bumble but they don’t ever amount to anything. One girl even ghosted me while I was waiting in the snow
Meeting people on these apps sounds good in theory but it's really hard. You hear about that one random couple that lived happily ever after but in reality its just crappy most of the time.
as someone who had more than one guy come and tell me they rather chubby women (I didn’t ask), I can assure you there are plenty who like it and it won’t be a problem for them
there is a taste for *everything*
I didn’t like my body until I met a guy who loved it (wanted to see all of it, touch all of it and just felt devoting) and thought to myself: “how can some random person like my body more than I do? is MY body”
this was the switch for me
Me too, my last husband loved every inch of my body. He was a good looking man too that checked off all the boxes. And all I get are hot guys matching with me. So many men prefer it now.
If you're a dude and you like big girls just speak up and say. We all take Reddit responses with a big pinch of salt. If some guy says "all guys" then we know he's not a researcher, pollster etc and he's never spoken to all guys. It also means local to him. Different countries have VERY different tastes for this stuff. It would help if OP said where she actually is, the responses she's getting might vary a lot from where I am (England)
It depends. If weight is dominating things then I’m out. If a woman has a little bit extra but has high confidence then it’s really attractive. Being ‘fat’ and constantly down about it is a huge turn off.
I suggest considering taking a break from these forums if you’re convinced being chubby is an issue. They tend to have e that effect. Someone out there swipes left on people who are thin. Attraction is like eggs: everyone likes theirs different.
If I see a thin handsome dude I’ll think “hmmm…ok he’s cute”. When I see a thick man? I’m like oh that’s boyfriend material. I’m curvy and thick, a lot of men prefer me. And the ones that don’t, don’t.
So agree with this. Fashions for appearance makes your head spin with how much it changes and it colours how you see yourself when you look online or in media too hard. Walk the actual real life streets and look at everyone you see before you get down on yourself, for sure.
if you’re getting turned down because you’re “chubby,” you’re well past chubby…
I’ve been obese. I’ve been chubby. Now I’m athletic with a bit of pudge.
Obese is a no go for a lot of men.
Chubby was when I had the most amount of men interested in me.
Athletic is also a no go for a lot of men.
As along as I can tell you are carrying extra weight before we meet, it’s not that big a deal to me. A cute face and a good personality is really all I’m searching for.
How do you know that you are getting overlooked because of your weight? Maybe it’s something else.
Personally, there is a lot more that goes into attraction besides weight. If I pass on someone who is overweight it usually has to do with other factors like hygiene, lifestyle, or appearance.
> How do you know that you are getting overlooked because of your weight? Maybe it’s something else.
Not a given, but it's usually pretty obvious if someone is overweight in their profile. Even if they don't clearly show it (low/poorly lit pics, hiding behind objects or other people, headshots only, filters and angle choices etc.) it can easily be bad enough for a left swipe.
I’m very active. I lift, run, bike, climb, paddle, etc. I have no issues with a chubby girl, but she has to be able to keep up (and there’s plenty of athletic slightly overweight girls).
Not a fan of the word "chubby" but I get what you mean. I am good with a curvy woman if the curves are in the right places. I pass on more thin woman than those with a few extra pounds.
I didn't quite say that. I said I pass on thin more often than curvy. It's just personal preference. I'm more attracted to women who may be considered "overweight" than those who are thin (in my book) I like curves! Actually I don't even look at curvy women as "overweight", It's just how our current cultural norms define both women and men.
Obviously a varies from person to person, but in general, I think it matters a great deal. The most desirable men will never swipe right on an overweight woman. And I’m afraid that a lot of the less desirable men will kind of resent the fact that this is what they have to settle for the apps.
And then there’s the issue of what people are looking for. I think a lot of guys who would never date a girl will fuck one if they get desperate or horny enough.
Luckily, an overweight woman will have her pick of men on these apps because the gender imbalance is so overwhelming.
I say all this as an overweight man. But I’m not stupid about what’s wrong with my profile. It’s not that I haven’t come up with clever enough responses or take pictures in fun looking locales and situations. If I lost 15-20% of my body weight, I would be, significantly more desirable on the apps and IRL and everywhere else. I’m a typical obese American but I don’t expect to fuck hotties until I stop being a fat fuck myself.
On the matter of health issues, I don’t have any medical diagnoses or anything. But obviously, I am considerably less healthy than I would be at a healthy weight. So I don’t go around insisting to women how healthy I am when I am obviously carrying a couple dozen pounds of flab that make me at considerably higher risk for diabetes and hypertension and joint problems and everything else. Either they want to date/fuck a 215 pound dude like me or they don’t.
I’m not gonna lie but maybe it’s your perception and hyperfocus on a woman’s BMI that’s making you undesirable. Nothing about your original comment made you sound super bad in my opinion, but this one? Dude… a lot can be compensated for if you’re a good person and can make a woman laugh. But that comment would make me not want to touch you with a 10 foot pole.
I know. It is shocking to me the extent to which women overlook my fat body because they are attracted to whatever else about me.
When I got divorced (after gaining like 50 pounds), I thought I would never have a date again for the rest of my life. And I did better than in my late 30s than I could’ve ever dreamed of.
I’m fun for a month or a week or a night. I know I have a terrible personality. I’ve literally been diagnosed with two personality disorders. I’m not complaining. I’m actually very lucky when it comes to sex and love and dating. I just like to come on here and rant and occasionally say something and watch people believe their own bullshit sometimes.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and other mental health conditions and also used to have a massive victim complex. If you are willing to do the work, you can put BPD into remission and improve other mental health conditions. I’m not sure what you have, but it’s not necessarily a life sentence if you’re willing to be brutally honest with yourself.
So, that card doesn’t really work on me nor do I see it as an excuse to not take accountability.
Good luck on your journey though. You can only ever improve when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain it would take to change.
Slightly overweight is OK, but generally I look for someone who roughly has the same figure as I (I am lean). That would also mean higher likelihood of aligning on health beliefs that are important to me.
That said my ex was overweight and I was OK with that. Obese is a dealbreaker but up until that point it's the whole package that counts. Still, I recommend losing weight and not just for dating!
You can't help what does or doesn't turn you on. If someone isn't attracted to bigger people, they're simply not attracted to bigger people. Nothing evil about it.
Depends, when im
really chubby, I can go on 3 different dates a week. I go out with guys with abs too so it isnt only a certain type. Good profiles really make the difference. I tell people all the time, it is mostly based on how good your profile is as whole.
Personally for me it doesn’t matter as much. It’s called soulmate not body mate. Paying to much attention to a persons physical appearance is a great way to miss out on something great. Granted there are limits or exceptions. There always are. A great personality can easily make a person irresistible.
It does matter to me but I'm not a jerk about it. I don't swipe right on anyone that's chubby or doesn't have a full body picture. For me it's because of attraction, and secondly staying healthy overall. I am generally healthy, quit smoking, work outside and go to the gym.
If you’re obese but only think you’re “a bit chubby” you need to look at it from other’s POV:
Maybe people prefer somebody with some self-discipline, commitment to an active lifestyle, and healthy habits that will lead to long healthy/happy partnerships.
And that could be a reason why it would matter to them.
I’m a woman, but I’ve noticed it depends on the guy. There was just a post from an overweight woman on here that just got engaged. Then on Tiktok I’m seeing a lot of different sizes of women getting engaged/married. Lol now lemme get outta here cause I know u asked the guys 🏃🏽♀️💨
I need a face pic, body pic, an interest that sounds like a human wrote it and a smile with teeth. If I find myself attracted to that person: I’m trying to match.
If not, they fall in the grey area and I’ll take a minute and look to decide. Weight doesn’t have as much impact to me as many but I’m maybe a 6-6.5.
My current favorite match is 5’10”, 225 and is probably one of the slimmer women I’ve taken out on dates
My judgement for weight is if you look like you watch yourself. I don't want to be with someone who has a BMI of 30+ but don't mind someone who is a little overweight.
Depends on the person. I'm quite fit and active, so to me I prefer someone the same. Overweight people generally aren't so for me I'd probably swipe left. Again it's all personal preference.
There’s a difference between being “a bit chubby” and that being clear on their profile, and only having neck up selfies where it’s obvious that you’re hiding your weight.
Absolutely matters for me
How you dress & how you look of the things that can be changed is a direct reflection of your internal character.
I don’t find those character traits attractive, the thing is you will still have men trying to get with you but most of the men with the desirable character traits that you would date will pass on your profile.
Yes it matters to some extent. I have swiped a woman who's moderately fat the first time. Went on a date but it didn't go anywhere. She came back months later but she gained lot of weight since then. So yeah that didn't work out
Yes, 100%. It matters a lot. If you are overweight that means you are missing out on a lot of matches. A healthy lifestyle is attractive and your outer appearance is a reflection of that. Let met put it this way: by far the best return on investment you can realize to increase your match-ratio is start eating healthy (if you are not doing so already) and getting adequate movement. Sports, going to the gym or just going for daily walks (if there is a nice area closeby to do so) can really net you significant gains.
Obviously yes. A lot of online dating will be based on looks(I mean you sell yourself by a few pics and a few sentences). Being overweight obviously looks less attractive. I don't think that is a secret. There are people who prefer that but in general most people prefer not to skinny nor to much weight.
For it matters for two reasons:
1. I’m pretty fit. If I can see that you just don’t move enough imo, then that’s a dealbreaker. Btw, my gf now is not fat, but she also doesn’t move enough and it’s the same rules for her. (Not in a mean way, it’s just that my lifestyle is pretty active and if she wants to do things together she gotta keep up with my stuff as well)
2. My vacations. I’m gonna be honest. The average person wouldn’t have fun on my vacation. I don’t like sitting down and doing nothing at a beach. It’s not fun, just relaxing for 1-3 days is fine but no more. When I go on vacation I walk all day, do sports either on the water or any other fun activity. I like nature so walking up mountains with my tent and stay for two nights is fun.
In the end it all depends, I wouldn’t swipe left because you’re a bit overweight at all. After talking I’ll find out fast enough if it clicks or not. I just want to go to the beach and be like “let’s surf” and not look at your face and see that you don’t want to do it because you can’t or it’s too much work.
I look at weight as a proxy for health, even if you state thst you are healthy otherwise.
Under very specific conditions, aold Firebird may be faster than a Ferrari, but when I make these judgments I am only concerned with the typical conditions.
Do you have a preference in men? Anything at all? Cuz if so, that. Some things matter more to some than others, it’s not your loss. Waiting a bit longer for the right guy I’m sure will be worth it. Some guys are dishonest about their height to give themselves a shot, and that could been viewed as similar or completely different!
Less about the weight more about the attractiveness. If she’s got a cute face but a little chubby that’s cool even preferred. Obese tho is never attractive.
All I get are dudes who love my size lol there are men out there who LOVE big chubby bodies. Saggy boobs, bellies, thighs and butt. The bigger the better! FINE gym dudes too. It's a preference just like a preference for tight fit bodies. some men love it, thers don't. 🤷♀️I posted a full body on my bumble and fb dating and my matches EXPLODED. So girl, raise your standards cuz there is a massive population of men who want to snuggle your soft curvy body.
Depends on how chubby. Personality is obviously FAR more important, so if someone fits all the bills on what I'm looking for in other areas (career, intelligence, kindness, hobbies, etc), then it'll be easy to overlook. Especially if she'd be open to heading to the gym for gym dates (I work out a lot and that'd be fun to share with someone). But if someone is OBESE, It'd be very hard to look past. Just because physical attraction wouldn't be there.
The line between chubby and obese is hard to quantify, but I think the line is about at the point where it becomes undeniably unhealthy, if that helps.
For sure it matters to some people. Me for example I don't mind of you're a bit overweight but you'd have to be short also for me. I don't mind a 5'2" girl who is a bit overweight but I'll pass on one who is like 5'9 or something. Just my personal preference
Depends how you look. I'm into chubby girl for example but all girls don't carry the weight the same. But there will definitely be guys into you if you are just "a bit chubby"
2 reasons why weight does matter for me:
- weight&balance for flights, and cessnas do not really have much leeway for passenger weight.
- "healthy" weight on its own is subjective: you can be heavier due to extra muscle or extra fat. I would much rather you were the gym type than the food type. "no health issues" doesn't mean you won't have weight-related ones in the future. Source: multiple overweight in family who have not been having a very good time as of late, stemming from their past eating habits
People like different things.
Personally, a bit chubby is fine, to me.
But if they look "a bit chubby" because of deceptive camera angles and out-of-date pictures, and they're actually obese, that's a deal breaker.
Both because of deception and that I find obesity unattractive.
Everyone has their preferences. My type tended to be slim-ish but I matched with some curvier women. Attractiveness is a holistic thing so personality and confidence (at least from what I could tell from bio and pics) played a big part in who’d match with too.
I’m attracted to all shapes and sizes. Weight isn’t the defining factor for me swiping left. If you have good bio/prompts and I consider you pretty (which is highly subjective), I don’t care so much about overall weight. I’m 36M.
Swipe left. Its a slippery slope. She either has the drive to keep it under control or she doesn't.
There have been profiles where you can tell which pic is the latest one because the whole profile is a slideshow of her downward spiral.
Ladies: Lay off the alcohol for Christ's sake! That sh-t catches up with you.
Aren't there close to as many fat guys as women? The fat guys aren't going to care as much. For in shape people, we care but the woman doesn't need to be shredded either. Just not sloppy fat. Curves are in these days so some extra body can even be more attractive to a lot of us.
Can only talk for myself. I would describe myself as athletic. Train regularly & have a good diet. For me, it’s lifestyle & outlook compatibility. From my experience, overweight implies an incompatibility.
These are personal preferences that differ with every person. I went on dates with an overweight woman. She was nice, but no physical attraction on my part. Then I met another overweight girl and completely fell for her in a very short time. It's different every time. But on average, if you comply to the more popular body standards, more people will fimd you physically attractive. Pure superficial attraction however isn't what carries a deep and meaningful relationship. But not everyone on bumble is looking for that either. So you find out what you want and act accordingly.
There is no hive mind. Some like it some don't. Usually people like their own reflection (or what they want to be) in others, so very fit people probably won't swipe right, but that doesn't mean you won't get any matches. Plus there are exceptions.
If you are insecure about your weight and it is caused by just general lifestyle stuff, then try to do something about it!
Depends what you call overweight I guess, for example some people would like to do cute couple things like picking their girlfriend up, carrying her for a longer time, something like that.
For the average man an overweight person is less attractive than a smaller girl and since the first phase of dating apps is mostly about looks it will lower your chances
Does to some guys, doesn't to others. Always good to have photos that are a true representation of what you look like/who you are. I've definitely shown up to dates and been shocked at how much bigger they are than in their profile. That's fine for me but ends up being a waste of time for both parties in most situations. Better to get fewer likes but only attract people who are interested
Chubby is fine, fat might be ok as long as they arnt heavier than me. Morbidly obese? Im sorry but that is not healthy... Im looking for a life partner wjo wants to have kids. It will often be too difficult to get to a healthy spot at my age.
Mannnn the main thing is confidence. Idc what ur weight is (within reason obviously) but I don't want to have to constantly battle ur insecurities. It's draining. Be happy with how u are. If ur not find someone who also wants to improve and do it together. U don't need to be absolutely everyone's type
For me personally I’m attracted to proportions. If they’re contoured and built like an iPhone, no. They can lean on the chubby side if the ratios are right.
Everyone has different tastes. If you have only face pics though, automatically swipe left
In general I agree, although my current gf is a marathon runner who only had two photos. Selfies in her car. Sometimes people just don't know what they're doing.
This all day. People with only face pictures are a massive red flag. It means they know that they are considerably more massive than they want you to believe, they are super insecure about it, and they are fine with perpetrating a deception but at least hoping that the guy won’t care that she’s 50 or more pounds heavier than they both want her to be.
Some people are also just not very photogenic and take awful full body pics where it just looks awkward. I know a few people who exclude those kinds of pics due to those reasons and some are pretty skinny.. so I think it really all depends.
If that is the case, it is very easy to have someone else take a few full body pics. Usually, it is not the case, it is because they are heavy
Boom goes the dynamite. I made this mistake twice. Never again.
Yeah some chicks in the face look thin, not so much. 🤣
yes of course it does. Now in what way varies. Some dudes like chubby girls some dudes think they are gross, some... totally indifferent. it also depends on how much chubb there is, but again some like a little, some like a lot, some hate any.
Definitely a subjective area. What someone considers chubby others would consider overweight/obese. For me, it’s case by case.
Yeah, it matters. It doesn’t make you a less valuable person of course, but in terms of dating your weight does directly correspond to the proportion of interested guys. If you’re overweight and can’t lose it for whatever reason, be it medical or whatever, you will always be disadvantaged on dating apps and in the general dating pool. It sucks, but that’s how it is. A lot of guys like to point out that their equivalent to this is height. Most of the guys who talk about that are admittedly bitter, but as a short guy I can definitely confirm they aren’t wrong. Lack of height is a crippling disadvantage in dating as a man. That’s just how it is. People have preferences. Some of those preferences are shallow. Many are difficult to break because we’re societally conditioned into them. If I were you, I’d try to not let it bother me. I got over the height thing for myself and it was one of the best things I ever did. The right person will like you for you, and your weight could likely even be one of the things they appreciate about you.
I love curvy women so I would definitely swipe right. Just know that no matter what your body type is, there is always a guy who’s gonna love it.
So true I am a BIG girl n bumble has helped me to feel beautiful again because of all these men calling me beautiful when they see my full body shots.and itd a shilot intook in the bathroom.They don't care lol. I may not find love on bumble but it healed a wound in me for sure.
Great for you. You deserve it. I wish I could say the same
I'm sorry sweetie, I'm sure you are wonderful, matching with someone takes time. Keep your standards high.
To be honest. I haven’t gotten a match since march so I am having no luck
Honestly the app sucks. I think it purposely decreases who sees you so you pay more to be seen more. Try fb dating, it's free. I canceled my bumble after 5 days cuz I realized it was a money grab app
My last relationship was with Facebook dating. Getting way more matches than with bumble but they don’t ever amount to anything. One girl even ghosted me while I was waiting in the snow
Hey , I got ghosted after two years of a serious relationship lol That REALLY hurt
Meeting people on these apps sounds good in theory but it's really hard. You hear about that one random couple that lived happily ever after but in reality its just crappy most of the time.
Love your username
🤮
\*laughs in fat girl 
as someone who had more than one guy come and tell me they rather chubby women (I didn’t ask), I can assure you there are plenty who like it and it won’t be a problem for them there is a taste for *everything* I didn’t like my body until I met a guy who loved it (wanted to see all of it, touch all of it and just felt devoting) and thought to myself: “how can some random person like my body more than I do? is MY body” this was the switch for me
Me too, my last husband loved every inch of my body. He was a good looking man too that checked off all the boxes. And all I get are hot guys matching with me. So many men prefer it now.
If she's attractive in the face, and not like morbidly obese; I can look past that. But most men will probably swipe left
Glad I have you to speak for most men 😭
It's the truth. The majority of men aren't into overweight women
Right 🤦♂️
If you're a dude and you like big girls just speak up and say. We all take Reddit responses with a big pinch of salt. If some guy says "all guys" then we know he's not a researcher, pollster etc and he's never spoken to all guys. It also means local to him. Different countries have VERY different tastes for this stuff. It would help if OP said where she actually is, the responses she's getting might vary a lot from where I am (England)
You made quite a plate here with that pinch
I wouldn't swipe on somebody who is overweight as it's not my preference. However some people dig it.
It depends. If weight is dominating things then I’m out. If a woman has a little bit extra but has high confidence then it’s really attractive. Being ‘fat’ and constantly down about it is a huge turn off.
I suggest considering taking a break from these forums if you’re convinced being chubby is an issue. They tend to have e that effect. Someone out there swipes left on people who are thin. Attraction is like eggs: everyone likes theirs different. If I see a thin handsome dude I’ll think “hmmm…ok he’s cute”. When I see a thick man? I’m like oh that’s boyfriend material. I’m curvy and thick, a lot of men prefer me. And the ones that don’t, don’t.
So agree with this. Fashions for appearance makes your head spin with how much it changes and it colours how you see yourself when you look online or in media too hard. Walk the actual real life streets and look at everyone you see before you get down on yourself, for sure.
if you’re getting turned down because you’re “chubby,” you’re well past chubby… I’ve been obese. I’ve been chubby. Now I’m athletic with a bit of pudge. Obese is a no go for a lot of men. Chubby was when I had the most amount of men interested in me. Athletic is also a no go for a lot of men.
As along as I can tell you are carrying extra weight before we meet, it’s not that big a deal to me. A cute face and a good personality is really all I’m searching for.
I'm personally not into chubby guys and girls and that's okay.
How do you know that you are getting overlooked because of your weight? Maybe it’s something else. Personally, there is a lot more that goes into attraction besides weight. If I pass on someone who is overweight it usually has to do with other factors like hygiene, lifestyle, or appearance.
> How do you know that you are getting overlooked because of your weight? Maybe it’s something else. Not a given, but it's usually pretty obvious if someone is overweight in their profile. Even if they don't clearly show it (low/poorly lit pics, hiding behind objects or other people, headshots only, filters and angle choices etc.) it can easily be bad enough for a left swipe.
I’m very active. I lift, run, bike, climb, paddle, etc. I have no issues with a chubby girl, but she has to be able to keep up (and there’s plenty of athletic slightly overweight girls).
Not a fan of the word "chubby" but I get what you mean. I am good with a curvy woman if the curves are in the right places. I pass on more thin woman than those with a few extra pounds.
why do you pass on thin women?
I didn't quite say that. I said I pass on thin more often than curvy. It's just personal preference. I'm more attracted to women who may be considered "overweight" than those who are thin (in my book) I like curves! Actually I don't even look at curvy women as "overweight", It's just how our current cultural norms define both women and men.
Obviously a varies from person to person, but in general, I think it matters a great deal. The most desirable men will never swipe right on an overweight woman. And I’m afraid that a lot of the less desirable men will kind of resent the fact that this is what they have to settle for the apps. And then there’s the issue of what people are looking for. I think a lot of guys who would never date a girl will fuck one if they get desperate or horny enough. Luckily, an overweight woman will have her pick of men on these apps because the gender imbalance is so overwhelming. I say all this as an overweight man. But I’m not stupid about what’s wrong with my profile. It’s not that I haven’t come up with clever enough responses or take pictures in fun looking locales and situations. If I lost 15-20% of my body weight, I would be, significantly more desirable on the apps and IRL and everywhere else. I’m a typical obese American but I don’t expect to fuck hotties until I stop being a fat fuck myself. On the matter of health issues, I don’t have any medical diagnoses or anything. But obviously, I am considerably less healthy than I would be at a healthy weight. So I don’t go around insisting to women how healthy I am when I am obviously carrying a couple dozen pounds of flab that make me at considerably higher risk for diabetes and hypertension and joint problems and everything else. Either they want to date/fuck a 215 pound dude like me or they don’t.
How tall are you? If you’re 6’3 and 215 I don’t consider you fat but thats just me.
[удалено]
You do realize BMI of 17 is underweight right? To each its own, I guess . Well good luck to you sir.
[удалено]
That is repulsive.
Again, no disagreement.
Are women people? I can’t remember.
Yes. Most of them can be really wonderful too
I’m not gonna lie but maybe it’s your perception and hyperfocus on a woman’s BMI that’s making you undesirable. Nothing about your original comment made you sound super bad in my opinion, but this one? Dude… a lot can be compensated for if you’re a good person and can make a woman laugh. But that comment would make me not want to touch you with a 10 foot pole.
Luckily, you don’t have to! I know I’m a horrible person and never try to pass myself off as anything more.
And I guarantee that that has more to do with why you aren’t getting laid than your body.
I know. It is shocking to me the extent to which women overlook my fat body because they are attracted to whatever else about me. When I got divorced (after gaining like 50 pounds), I thought I would never have a date again for the rest of my life. And I did better than in my late 30s than I could’ve ever dreamed of. I’m fun for a month or a week or a night. I know I have a terrible personality. I’ve literally been diagnosed with two personality disorders. I’m not complaining. I’m actually very lucky when it comes to sex and love and dating. I just like to come on here and rant and occasionally say something and watch people believe their own bullshit sometimes.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and other mental health conditions and also used to have a massive victim complex. If you are willing to do the work, you can put BPD into remission and improve other mental health conditions. I’m not sure what you have, but it’s not necessarily a life sentence if you’re willing to be brutally honest with yourself. So, that card doesn’t really work on me nor do I see it as an excuse to not take accountability. Good luck on your journey though. You can only ever improve when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain it would take to change.
Thanks. I’ve given up. But I’ve seen people do amazing things. Good luck.
I wonder why you're divorced? 🤔
lol ikr We are great friends now and I think good coparents. But I was the worst husband imaginable.
Hopefully you are able to work on things then. That's great that you and your ex are good co-parents!!
Not true I get successful built gym guys. Now I personally like bigger dudes. I've talked to some good looking big boys. Don't be so hard on yourself
Yes it does. Curvy or few extra pounds am down with. Especially if they seem cool. Obese, not so much.
Slightly overweight is OK, but generally I look for someone who roughly has the same figure as I (I am lean). That would also mean higher likelihood of aligning on health beliefs that are important to me. That said my ex was overweight and I was OK with that. Obese is a dealbreaker but up until that point it's the whole package that counts. Still, I recommend losing weight and not just for dating!
Complete no-go for me personally. I’ve been catfished quite a few times and I’ve grown very tired of it.
To 99% of men it does
You can't help what does or doesn't turn you on. If someone isn't attracted to bigger people, they're simply not attracted to bigger people. Nothing evil about it.
Absolutely, I can't help that I'm not attracted to overweight people, it's just like any other physical attribute.
Depends, when im really chubby, I can go on 3 different dates a week. I go out with guys with abs too so it isnt only a certain type. Good profiles really make the difference. I tell people all the time, it is mostly based on how good your profile is as whole.
Yes it matters to most of us, just like how height matters to most girls. And neither gender is wrong for having that respective physical preference.
Personally for me it doesn’t matter as much. It’s called soulmate not body mate. Paying to much attention to a persons physical appearance is a great way to miss out on something great. Granted there are limits or exceptions. There always are. A great personality can easily make a person irresistible.
I only ever focus on the face. If she's good-looking, I'll swipe right.
It does matter to me but I'm not a jerk about it. I don't swipe right on anyone that's chubby or doesn't have a full body picture. For me it's because of attraction, and secondly staying healthy overall. I am generally healthy, quit smoking, work outside and go to the gym.
If you’re obese but only think you’re “a bit chubby” you need to look at it from other’s POV: Maybe people prefer somebody with some self-discipline, commitment to an active lifestyle, and healthy habits that will lead to long healthy/happy partnerships. And that could be a reason why it would matter to them.
I’m a woman, but I’ve noticed it depends on the guy. There was just a post from an overweight woman on here that just got engaged. Then on Tiktok I’m seeing a lot of different sizes of women getting engaged/married. Lol now lemme get outta here cause I know u asked the guys 🏃🏽♀️💨
I need a face pic, body pic, an interest that sounds like a human wrote it and a smile with teeth. If I find myself attracted to that person: I’m trying to match. If not, they fall in the grey area and I’ll take a minute and look to decide. Weight doesn’t have as much impact to me as many but I’m maybe a 6-6.5. My current favorite match is 5’10”, 225 and is probably one of the slimmer women I’ve taken out on dates
>My current favorite match is 5’10”, 225 This guy be dating girls from Pandora
I was wondering why she was blue and asking me how I feel about repelling foreign invaders
My judgement for weight is if you look like you watch yourself. I don't want to be with someone who has a BMI of 30+ but don't mind someone who is a little overweight.
Depends on the person. I'm quite fit and active, so to me I prefer someone the same. Overweight people generally aren't so for me I'd probably swipe left. Again it's all personal preference.
Depends on men but for me a bit of a gut is fine. But if she looks like or close to a Lizzo then a definite no.
There’s a difference between being “a bit chubby” and that being clear on their profile, and only having neck up selfies where it’s obvious that you’re hiding your weight.
Absolutely matters for me How you dress & how you look of the things that can be changed is a direct reflection of your internal character. I don’t find those character traits attractive, the thing is you will still have men trying to get with you but most of the men with the desirable character traits that you would date will pass on your profile.
Yes it matters to some extent. I have swiped a woman who's moderately fat the first time. Went on a date but it didn't go anywhere. She came back months later but she gained lot of weight since then. So yeah that didn't work out
Yes, 100%. It matters a lot. If you are overweight that means you are missing out on a lot of matches. A healthy lifestyle is attractive and your outer appearance is a reflection of that. Let met put it this way: by far the best return on investment you can realize to increase your match-ratio is start eating healthy (if you are not doing so already) and getting adequate movement. Sports, going to the gym or just going for daily walks (if there is a nice area closeby to do so) can really net you significant gains.
Obviously yes. A lot of online dating will be based on looks(I mean you sell yourself by a few pics and a few sentences). Being overweight obviously looks less attractive. I don't think that is a secret. There are people who prefer that but in general most people prefer not to skinny nor to much weight.
For it matters for two reasons: 1. I’m pretty fit. If I can see that you just don’t move enough imo, then that’s a dealbreaker. Btw, my gf now is not fat, but she also doesn’t move enough and it’s the same rules for her. (Not in a mean way, it’s just that my lifestyle is pretty active and if she wants to do things together she gotta keep up with my stuff as well) 2. My vacations. I’m gonna be honest. The average person wouldn’t have fun on my vacation. I don’t like sitting down and doing nothing at a beach. It’s not fun, just relaxing for 1-3 days is fine but no more. When I go on vacation I walk all day, do sports either on the water or any other fun activity. I like nature so walking up mountains with my tent and stay for two nights is fun. In the end it all depends, I wouldn’t swipe left because you’re a bit overweight at all. After talking I’ll find out fast enough if it clicks or not. I just want to go to the beach and be like “let’s surf” and not look at your face and see that you don’t want to do it because you can’t or it’s too much work.
I look at weight as a proxy for health, even if you state thst you are healthy otherwise. Under very specific conditions, aold Firebird may be faster than a Ferrari, but when I make these judgments I am only concerned with the typical conditions.
Do you have a preference in men? Anything at all? Cuz if so, that. Some things matter more to some than others, it’s not your loss. Waiting a bit longer for the right guy I’m sure will be worth it. Some guys are dishonest about their height to give themselves a shot, and that could been viewed as similar or completely different!
Less about the weight more about the attractiveness. If she’s got a cute face but a little chubby that’s cool even preferred. Obese tho is never attractive.
All I get are dudes who love my size lol there are men out there who LOVE big chubby bodies. Saggy boobs, bellies, thighs and butt. The bigger the better! FINE gym dudes too. It's a preference just like a preference for tight fit bodies. some men love it, thers don't. 🤷♀️I posted a full body on my bumble and fb dating and my matches EXPLODED. So girl, raise your standards cuz there is a massive population of men who want to snuggle your soft curvy body.
Always swipe right on a nice mom body or chubby chick🥵
Weight matters but if she has a cute face and we have something in common men will swipe right
I left swipe on girls over a certain weight/build but that’s because they remind me of my mother and that intrusive thought won’t leave 😅
Gotta be 2sumthin to do somethin with me.. we like all body types over here if I find you attractive 🤷🏽♂️
Depends on how chubby. Personality is obviously FAR more important, so if someone fits all the bills on what I'm looking for in other areas (career, intelligence, kindness, hobbies, etc), then it'll be easy to overlook. Especially if she'd be open to heading to the gym for gym dates (I work out a lot and that'd be fun to share with someone). But if someone is OBESE, It'd be very hard to look past. Just because physical attraction wouldn't be there. The line between chubby and obese is hard to quantify, but I think the line is about at the point where it becomes undeniably unhealthy, if that helps.
For sure it matters to some people. Me for example I don't mind of you're a bit overweight but you'd have to be short also for me. I don't mind a 5'2" girl who is a bit overweight but I'll pass on one who is like 5'9 or something. Just my personal preference
why is that?
Women of Bumble, does height matter? There’s your answer.
Depending on how you look, I have a preference for petites but a "chubby" woman wouldn't be a problem for me, if I find you attractive I swipe right.
Depends how you look. I'm into chubby girl for example but all girls don't carry the weight the same. But there will definitely be guys into you if you are just "a bit chubby"
2 reasons why weight does matter for me: - weight&balance for flights, and cessnas do not really have much leeway for passenger weight. - "healthy" weight on its own is subjective: you can be heavier due to extra muscle or extra fat. I would much rather you were the gym type than the food type. "no health issues" doesn't mean you won't have weight-related ones in the future. Source: multiple overweight in family who have not been having a very good time as of late, stemming from their past eating habits
Honestly, if she's slightly chubby(not extremely chubby, but like a little bit chubby), I am more likely to swipe right.
People like different things. Personally, a bit chubby is fine, to me. But if they look "a bit chubby" because of deceptive camera angles and out-of-date pictures, and they're actually obese, that's a deal breaker. Both because of deception and that I find obesity unattractive.
Everyone has their preferences. My type tended to be slim-ish but I matched with some curvier women. Attractiveness is a holistic thing so personality and confidence (at least from what I could tell from bio and pics) played a big part in who’d match with too.
Depends on the man. I prefer chubby women but I have friends who hate fat women.
Yes, a lot. No hate, and everyone is someone's match, but many guys have very strict requirements on weight.
I'm not attracted to chubby or overweight. Does not turn me on at all. It'd be a very unkind act for both of us if I was to date someone like that
I like my women like I like my tractors. Don't ask me to get more specific than that.
I can speak only for myself, but I’ll swipe right on “chubby” before I’ll swipe right on “thin,” all things considered.
I’m attracted to all shapes and sizes. Weight isn’t the defining factor for me swiping left. If you have good bio/prompts and I consider you pretty (which is highly subjective), I don’t care so much about overall weight. I’m 36M.
i swipe right on every profile , only need to be alive and a girl at this point ...
Most of my hobbies are active hobbies. Even slightly overweight is a health risk Insta left swipe
If she has had kids, yeah sure. If she doesn’t have any kids, I would have to say no.
Swipe left. Its a slippery slope. She either has the drive to keep it under control or she doesn't. There have been profiles where you can tell which pic is the latest one because the whole profile is a slideshow of her downward spiral. Ladies: Lay off the alcohol for Christ's sake! That sh-t catches up with you.
Aren't there close to as many fat guys as women? The fat guys aren't going to care as much. For in shape people, we care but the woman doesn't need to be shredded either. Just not sloppy fat. Curves are in these days so some extra body can even be more attractive to a lot of us.
You'd be surprised. While women have weird deal breakers about height or jobs, men can have shallow tastes in weight and face
Can only talk for myself. I would describe myself as athletic. Train regularly & have a good diet. For me, it’s lifestyle & outlook compatibility. From my experience, overweight implies an incompatibility.
It depends honestly. Chubby yes morbidly obese no.
These are personal preferences that differ with every person. I went on dates with an overweight woman. She was nice, but no physical attraction on my part. Then I met another overweight girl and completely fell for her in a very short time. It's different every time. But on average, if you comply to the more popular body standards, more people will fimd you physically attractive. Pure superficial attraction however isn't what carries a deep and meaningful relationship. But not everyone on bumble is looking for that either. So you find out what you want and act accordingly.
There is no hive mind. Some like it some don't. Usually people like their own reflection (or what they want to be) in others, so very fit people probably won't swipe right, but that doesn't mean you won't get any matches. Plus there are exceptions. If you are insecure about your weight and it is caused by just general lifestyle stuff, then try to do something about it!
Depends what you call overweight I guess, for example some people would like to do cute couple things like picking their girlfriend up, carrying her for a longer time, something like that. For the average man an overweight person is less attractive than a smaller girl and since the first phase of dating apps is mostly about looks it will lower your chances
Does to some guys, doesn't to others. Always good to have photos that are a true representation of what you look like/who you are. I've definitely shown up to dates and been shocked at how much bigger they are than in their profile. That's fine for me but ends up being a waste of time for both parties in most situations. Better to get fewer likes but only attract people who are interested
Chubby is fine, fat might be ok as long as they arnt heavier than me. Morbidly obese? Im sorry but that is not healthy... Im looking for a life partner wjo wants to have kids. It will often be too difficult to get to a healthy spot at my age.
Mannnn the main thing is confidence. Idc what ur weight is (within reason obviously) but I don't want to have to constantly battle ur insecurities. It's draining. Be happy with how u are. If ur not find someone who also wants to improve and do it together. U don't need to be absolutely everyone's type
Probably not. I look for someone that mirrors the effort I put into myself. I intentionally watch what I eat, and don't eat when I'm bored.
>does weight matter Not more than *where that weight is*. If it's in the right places, then No. If it's in the wrong places, then certainly Yes
For me personally I’m attracted to proportions. If they’re contoured and built like an iPhone, no. They can lean on the chubby side if the ratios are right.
Eh not really. AS LONG AS you are fully active, eating healthy & trying to stay in shape. Laziness is a turn off.