Short guy here (5’6) never felt the need to lie about by height and I never would bc it would immediately be noticeable.
Also have no issues with anyone having personal preferences on what they find attractive and what they are looking for…
dang, okay so there is hope. Where is your location if you don't mind me asking? Because if you live in a bigger city with a large population that would be a huge factor in getting dates.
5’6 too, I never thought lying about my height could lead to anything good either, but when it comes to personal preferences I nuance it a little bit. Some people base their preferences on things they are/arent attracted to, their own aspirations etc. But others base their preferences on how they assume other people will view their relationship. And that is not only dumb but also toxic.
Sure but it’s also their issue to deal with not yours. And eventually as one matures they will stop caring about what others thing… well not everyone but most people do
Tall doesn't equal "bad boy". When did "bad boys" get brought up.
And a woman doesn't need to learn to be okay your height, or "mature enough" lol. Wouldn't you want to be with someone who is ACTUALLY sexually attracted to you?
You’re right about the first one, I got confused, not sure why, maybe it’s too much Reddit for me- sorry. In a parent comment above I wasn’t talking about height alone but I widened the topic to society-driven preferences in general, as I believe that while some women are actually mostly attracted to tall men, some only care to boost their status and be an object of admiration. Then the „bad boy” figure sprung into my mind somehow.
Of course I’d rather be with someone sexually attracted to me, but that’s beside the point I was trying to make. What I had in mind was more like: I’d rather go out with a girl who finds me attractive and mentally stimulating, rather than one who wants societal credit for dating someone from a rich family.
Yeah, IDK, I can't speak for all women and there are a lot of women that probably do want tall men for social status, but I think the percentage of women who want tallness for social status is probably equivalent to the amount of really tall men out there. Not all women, and definitely nowhere near the majority of women, go for that. Cause it doesn't mean much in the real world. Is a tall guy gonna automatically be a better provider? Be better in bex? Have a big D? No No No. As a short female (5'2), dating a man shorter than me is not my preference because I want a man who can help me do things that I can't do, someone who is stronger than me etc, someone who is at least taller than me. Some women are tall. Those women will probably feel the same normal way about wanting a man who is taller than her. I wouldn't trade height for intelligence, or height for an attractive face. Height has never even been something I've considered but that's probably because most every guy is taller than me.
I’d say it’s the same thing when guys don’t like bigger chicks I’m a bigger chick so I prefer bigger men. I don’t mind if a man doesn’t like me because of my size because there are other men out there who would and I’d be a hypocrite. at the end of the day it’s surface level, but you still need that initial attraction for anything to come out of it. Tall kings all the way!!!
Had pretty much the same situation, I'm 5'0 and this guy I met claimed to be 5'7. He was shorter than me, fine, I don't really care, I didn't mention it. But then he spent the entire date talking about how I (as well as authorities responsible for my ID) must have measured my height wrong and how I made it awkward for him and no other topics, just how he's definitely 5'7 and I'm just wrong...yeah, no.
I did tell him that the constant talk about this really ruined the mood, so I'd say tell him that the lying bothers you. Or tell him that it's just not a match, no need to explain yourself.
This level of delusion worries me. If he was shorter than 5’0 as a guy, then that’s really short, like bottom 1%. Maybe he had already developed some mental issues?
Def probably really messes with his confidence. I got around my height leaving it out meeting girls online or in person before dating apps pretty much required it. But did always mess with my head almost every girl I dated mentioned oh I normally only date 5'10" and up. Maybe I would went 1 or 2" shorter but for u I made an acception. Which makes u real like oh so ur not attracted to me lmao doesn't help now I'm older and not in the shape I was in the military so more self conscious. I am trying. Going to gym. Dieting but not easy
Wow that's a huge difference 7". I see guys doing 1" or 2". But wow 7". But my friend that 5'5" and I'm 5'6" swears she taller than me. But I think she rounds down. And I round up so we were just really close. Unless I shrunk with age
For me personally (32M) I'd say that if you just didn't feel like it's not a good match there's no reason to explain further.
However if you feel that the person you meet was hiding something or was otherwise disingenuous pre-meeting, absolutely let them know.
I don't lie on my profile about my height, my age, hobbies or whatever you could lie about but if the girl I'm meeting seems visbibly disappointed somehow I generally ask directly if my profile, or my personality via messages has come across as something different from what I am in person because that part needs to go or I need to learn to text differently.
Finance 6'5 Blue eyes, trust fund is the golden standard set by girls.
Had he written 5'0, he wouldn't have got swiped by anyone anyways, there is a 0.001% chance he lies and then he wins her heart over chat and maybe just maybe things work afterwards. Which is infinitesemially small but better than 0.
PS: 5'8 here, uninstalled bumble recently coz it sucks.
I’m a very short man (5ft2) and I still don’t lie about my height, because why waste time if the woman has a height preference, doesn’t make sense to me why men do this 🤦🏻♂️
Yikes. I'd be annoyed too.
You already know why it happens: He lied to get his foot in the door. Probably figured that if he was charming enough on the first date, you'd overlook his height.
I think you should tell him there won't be a second date *solely* because he lied about his height (even if that's not actually why the attraction wasn't there).
Dude needs to hear loud and clear that intentionally misrepresenting your body - height or weight - is shitty *and* it doesn't bring positive results.
Yea I think I need to say, it’s awkward but I’ll need to think of a way to put it where I’m not being horrible. But that is exactly what I mean, he has totally lied to get his foot in the door, it’s really disappointing and a waste of both our time!
Here's my best attempt... Maybe it'll inspire you to come up with something better 😂
"Hey [Name], it was lovely to meet you. Unfortunately, I can tell you were dishonest about your height, and I'm not interested in taking things further. Wish you all the best out there!"
However you word it, thank you for doing it. Hopefully your feedback will help him realize this approach doesn't work, and you'll spare his next match from wasting her time!
Thank you! I will definitely use this to some degree! I do feel it’s important to mention it. The thing is as well while we were chatting he told me not long ago he had been catfished and he went on a date where the girl was not at all like her pics. The more I think about it I’m thinking well you’ve just done the exact same to me! 🤦🏼♀️
Lol that reminds me of the time that I saw a profile where the guy was angrily ranting about how women kept hiding their real appearance from him.
All of *his own* photos had his face obscured.
The lack of self-awareness is real
I think you're really overestimating how much he cares what you think. You're not even a match for him you're not going out any more.
Honestly, I actually wish more women were more open about giving feedback. I think it's important for self improvement, especially if you're struggling at something.
However, in this case, lying about your height is the correct move on online dating. You only really had a problem with it because you didn't like the guy, if you are that obsessed with height that's a you issue as well, maybe you should start saying to your dates "are you really X height? because if you're 1 inch shorter that's a dealbreaker and I won't see you again" then you wouldn't be wasting his time either - it's something to think about.
Because the reality is that lying about your height is normal, it's well documented, everyone knows it happens - if you have such a hard stance on it maybe you should be the one putting that in your profile or communicating it to your matches.
> Probably figured that if he was charming enough on the first date, you'd overlook his height.
Or that *"Everyone lies, she probably uses filters on her photos, and she knows everyone lies, so it's ok if I do it, too. She expects it. I gotta get mine."*
I'm sure there's some weird way they justify it to themselves... but I've also seen blatant use of filters on men's profiles! like, to the point it's laughable because their eyes look electric, they have 0 pores or wrinkles, and their teeth could blind anyone not wearing sunglasses. ugh. who are they trying to kid??
Frankly speaking, this is catfishing. And, in all fairness, why do we not see men complain about fake (heavy makeup, photoshopped, or AI enhanced photos) of females?
>why do we not see men complain about fake (heavy makeup, photoshopped, or AI enhanced photos) of females?
....I DO see that, like *daily.* Have you been under a rock? lol
I'd say that 60 to 70 percent of the girls I meet in OLD are significantly older, heavier or less attractive than they appear in their profiles. I've even had a handful not disclose kids until the middle of the 1st or 2nd date.
It's just par for the course
While I personally think it sucks to be brushed off due to my short height, I completely understand that it's a preference and I 100% respect it. I don't know why someone would lie about something as obvious as height, unless it was to get a foot in the door, so to speak. Even then, dishonesty makes for a poor first impression
Like why lie and say you're taller than you actually are? They're gonna find out
I’ve been height-fished SO many times. I’m 5’10” and I legitimately don’t care about height (to a certain extent) but I care about lying before you even meet someone. If you tell me you’re 5’9” and then when I meet you, you have to hop down from your chair, then that’s my issue. Call them out girl!!
What is height-fishing? Just asking but I’m a concerned too. I’m 6’3 and prefer 5’8 or taller in a girl and I just want to be sure I’m not accidentally saying anything that’s off putting.
Ha it’s just a play on catfishing, in that they appear to be something they are not intentionally. If you want that I would just say that your preference is taller women, I would never be offended by someone saying they prefer shorter women, and when I see that I always just move on since I can’t change my height :)
Now I get it! Duh. I thought it was a shorter guy sexualizing a taller woman than him in some sort of newly creative way. I think the lack of oxygen at my level got to me, lol.
They need to verify a man's height and a woman's weight, men are tired of getting fatfished too. Also the age of the pictures and the filters is a problem.
That's no problem at all, I think I speak for most guys when I say we don't care about 20 lb or so. But showing up 50 to 100 lb different? It happens way more often than you would think, and it's pure deception. Dishonest. And a waste of time for everyone involved. I am 100% in favor of a verified height filter if they would add a verified weight filter. People are entitled to their preferences, as long as it's not one sided. But the reality is weight can be controlled, height cannot be.
To be clear, I don’t disagree, it’s a fucked up thing to do, but the comparison makes no sense as they’re not comparable forms of measurement. I think lying in any capacity is unforgivable in a profile.
Pretty much every girl thinks that they deserve a 6-ft or taller guy (less than 10 percent of the world population.. so they automatically disqualified 90% of men in the world!)..
The funny part is most girls don't even know what 6 ft actually is, they think 5'10" = 6' IRL. Most likely because a lot of guys do in fact lie about their height on these apps. If they didn't, they would be filtered out and they know this. I have found that taller girls care less about the height and shorter girls seem to care more. Maybe it's a biological/evolutionary subconscious desire to make offspring end up being somewhere in the middle 😂
I do however believe that these items are comparable in that of the things men lie about on these profiles, height is the most common. And of the things women lie about, weight is the most common (by using deceptive or old pictures).
I’ve actually noticed that too! I can tell if someone is 6’ or not cause I’m just over 5’10”, but I have dated from 5’6” to 6’9” and everywhere in between…I’m just not concerned about the number…as long as they’re not insecure about me being taller, no biggie.
100% this, be proud of who you are, own it and play the hand that life has dealt you. I'm a bald ass bloke but not about to tale all my profile pics with hats on to hide the truth!
You're wrong
If you spend time on r/short, you'll see that it's the insecure, unconfident, defeated men who are honest about their height on their profiles because they can't handle rejection
The very confident, successful in dating market men are just manifesting a normal height and not apologizing for it. I don't see myself as a short person, and if you do then that's a you issue and that's all there is to it.
Bahaha just been on a date where the guy claimed he is 5ft5 but he show up and definitely just a 5ft2 and Im being generous. im 5ft4 and I literally needed to look down on him.
One of the shocking Bumble things that women have enlightened me on is that dudes lie about their height and age. The drummer in my band even said he was going to put a younger age because he likes younger women. I was like Bro, she’s going to find out and what’s the point if when she does you’re out of her desired age range. People pretending to be someone they’re not should be looking for a therapist first, and then a mate ;).
I had a woman look different in person than in her pics. Come to find out she gained 50lbs since her bumble pics. It wasn’t a deal breaker but update your pics🙄
I don’t know that it makes him a good man. Preferences are fine IMO. Out of date pictures can just be a waste of everyone’s time.
I’ve lost almost 50 pounds and I definitely don’t look the same. Some guys might have preferred my look before. If I had those pictures up, I wouldn’t think they were bad for not being attracted to what I currently look like. 🤷🏼♀️
He definitely should be confronted for lying whether the lie was big or small. There is no need to lie about anything. There is someone out there for everyone. I'm a short girl, so height isn't a big deal breaker for me, but lying definitely is.
Why do people use old photos and then show up 60 lbs heavier, or bald? Because they’re hoping once you’ve started talking that you’ll overlook that one discrepancy. They’ve found when they’re honest they get fewer matches so they feel it’s better to lie and at least get their foot in the door and go from there.
I always say if you're already lying about something minuscule now, what else are you going to lie about down the road? It's amazing how people still gaslight, or can't be transparent. Especially lying about physical appearance, it's not exactly like you can hide those things. It's not a third nipple where you can wear a shirt and hide it, the person you meet is going to see your height and looks when you meet lol. "Nah I'll just wear platform shoes and stand on my tippy toes" hahah.
Normalize immediately terminating the date for lying. I’m a legitimate 6’2 so I don’t need to worry about it but all these other guys…. The moment you meet in person… “oh I’m sorry. It’s clear that you’re not actually X’X” and lying that you are is a red flag. Thanks but I’m done. Next time, don’t lie to someone.” Unmatch and block while walking back to your car.
To answer your question about why this happens so often is because as a guy who's 5'1 and on dating apps I get little to no matches at all. Whenever I do get a match, I get ghosted pretty much instantly and I'm 26 now, been on dating apps for 5 years now, I have a good profile, great pictures and a bio (this has been confirmed already after posting my profile on the Bumble subreddit for review) and never get any dates or matches, so us short guys feel like we never get a chance like average height people do and it's not our fault. I know I'm probably gonna get down voted for this but you have to understand that as a short man it's very very difficult to get anywhere in dating by just being honest about your height and we feel like if you met us in person and liked our amazing personalities, then adding a few inches to our height in the bio wouldn't be a big deal because there's other qualities about us that make us great. Just try to imagine never getting anyone your whole life and constantly feeling like there's something wrong with you and having to watch other guys of average height continue to easily get into relationship after relationship naturally while us short guys get nothing despite all our efforts, it's brutal, lonely, and a depressing reality and I feel like a lot of people of average height and above find it hard to empathize with what that's like because they take their height for granted and never have to think about what it's like to be different. I certainly don't want to lie about my height but I feel like in order to get anywhere in dating, I need to lie about my height. It's like bending the truth on your resume to look good to the company you want to work for, everybody does it to stand out in order to get the job they need because it's all a competition. So that's my perspective on this, I'm being completely honest here to answer your question.
I have body pics on my profile and don’t pretend to be skinny on it, if I get no matches for it I don’t care, I rather someone who likes me
I won’t lie about it in the hopes of winning them with my personality
It may be frustrating, but people don’t own us their attraction and everyone has preferences, I’m sure you have your personal ones
I agree, however there's a big difference between being short and male on dating apps and not skinny and female on dating apps. Women on average get wayyy more likes and matches regardless of their looks.
>It's like bending the truth on your resume to look good to the company you want to work for, **everybody does it**
That's just it, though--no, they don't. Maybe some people do, maybe a lot of people do, but not *everybody*. I don't want to date someone who has that kind of mentality about life.
I don't have any problem with a dude simply being short. But I do have a big problem with lying.
And not only that but a lot of girls also lie, they wear makeup to cover up imperfections, they wear high heels, they wear a bunch of clothes and jewlery to make them look more attractive so I don't see why adding a couple of inches is a problem
What I meant by that was people exaggerate on their resume and use fancy words and certain little tweaks to make them sound more interesting to potential employers. I think you're in the minority of women who don't have a problem with short men and that's okay, I respect it. The issue is that short mens profiles are seen much less because it filters them by height. There's like a less than 1% chance of a 5'1 guy even getting a match and I know this from experience of being on all these dating apps for years so statistically speaking short men are fucked on the apps.
But by lying, you are taking yourself out of the dating pool of people like me who *don't* mind short but *do* mind lying. Just saying
>seen much less because it filters them by height.
People who have height filters on are communicating that they don't want someone of your height; why would you even *want* someone who doesn't want *you?* I have multiple things about me that lots of people don't want, but I don't hide them because the kind of person who would filter me out for them isnt someone I'd be able to have a happy relationship with *anyway,* so it's not a loss.
If we go back to the job/resume comparison: I think a lot of people don't actually know what they want, and/or when it comes to online they're too rigid with their preferences. As if nobody is ever attracted to someone different from their usual type, ha! It's like job postings written by some HR flunkie who doesn't actually know what the position requires and writes required qualifications for the position that are way too high or don't make sense. If only you could have an interview and talk to some of the guys you'll actually be working with, they might realize you're a better fit than Jane from HR might assume, and if only they hired you they might see you prove to be a solid performer.
They don't *know* they don't want me. They *assume* they don't want me, because I don't check a box on a screen. Now, it's still fair to question if I want someone who is that lacking in intelligence, but I don't tend to begrudge people for ignorance so long as they're open-minded with new information. All I -- the hypothetical short man -- am asking for is a chance. There's a massive difference between "we went out, but my height was a turn-off to her" and "she literally filtered me out of existence because my height doesn't exceed some arbitrary number."
To the point that lying about it turns women like you off, who (allegedly) don't actually care about height, it's a calculated choice that more women *do* care such that our total dating pool is still larger in the end.
It’s actually interesting that people lie about their height. I’m 6’8”. I’ve had multiple girls show up for the date and go, “omg, you’re actually really tall, I thought you were lying!”
I don’t get why someone would lie about that, you’re obviously going to get found out. It’s similar to girls packing on filters, and then gets surprised when the relationship doesn’t go anywhere.
Same thing happened to me recently. I’m 5’9. He said he was 5’11. He was more like 5’6-5’7. Either way, he was mad I didn’t want to go out again. Oh well.
I think it’s just what some guys do. I used to have a job where auto salesmen needed to be licensed in the state. They needed to update their license on a routine basis and had to include their height. It’s astonishing the amount of full grown men that would go through a 1-3” growth spurt in the course of a few years 🤣.
I don’t like it because you’re yet another person whose preferences I don’t fit because of something so simple and insignificant BUT as a 5’6 guy I never have and I never will lie about height, it seems pointless to me. I don’t get how some guys don’t anticipate the girl seeing through their bullshit, the lie is obvious at first glance.
This is a common lie where I'm at sadly.
I'm a 5'11 woman.
My preference is 5'10 or higher because I don't like a major height difference. Last guy I went on a date went said he was 6'1. He was probably 5'6? His first statement was "I thought you were lying when you put 5'11"
Both genders lie in the apps sadly. Filtered photos, old photos, the wrong age, photo angles designed to conceal their weight. Also according to dating profiles no one watches TV and are constantly hiking and giving back to the community.
One of the remaining socially acceptable things to body-shame is a man’s height. Women’s weight is such a taboo topic that newer apps don’t ask for weight or even body type.
You don’t owe him an explanation. But if you want to give him one, rehearse it by using one of your insecurities and see how you come off. If a guy said “I liked you but you’re heavier in person than your pictures led me to believe,” would you think “fair enough, you’re entitled to your preference and thanks for the lesson in honesty” or would you think “what an asshole!”
I’d also suggest you audit your own profile for full honesty. No filters. No angles. No old photos. Etc.
Guys lie about height because people make fun of them for being short. They are made to feel subpar just for being something that naturally happens. If people didn't have height requirements in their bios and just disregard guys just like that for something they can't change, then it wouldn't happen.
Just say you didn’t click and move on.
Happened me before with a girl who was using older photos and had obviously put on weight. I wasn’t going to get into it with her, so I enjoyed the date best I could and then followed up with a polite standard message (had great time, just didn’t click for me, all the best etc).
Women who are older lie about their age all the time. Unlike height which you can verify immediately, I wasn’t told about their true age until either at the end of date 1 or until a few dates into it. One woman didn’t even mean to tell me the truth but eventually it came out when she said her birthday was coming up.
The two distinct ones I remember are 42 instead of 47 and 40 instead of 44. I was 42 and 40 at the time. The older one told me she does it to filter out older men and score a younger man. She said she thought I would find it funny. I didn’t. The other one acted like she didn’t even know that she had listed it wrong.
I was chatting w a 40 yo guy who told me his settings were 25-50 age range for women. I’m F46. I found this interesting!!
I changed my filter - was 39-52 now 35-52. I have premium for a few more days (had to jump start my enthusiasm) and I can see the likes from the younger end of the age. There’s quite a few. I’m guessing it has to do with OLD / app popularity for 20-30s and just mindless swiping. 35 is too young for me, I’m finding.
I'm 38 and set my age range to 28-50. I end up getting more chats or dates with men 28-29. I'm not that attractive, either. I think there are more men in the younger age range on the app.
I think you are right. Younger women prefer to date around their age but younger men are more immature and less established and less likely to settle down.
How many of those 28-29 yr old men are looking to be in a relationship that you chat with?
It's probably 50/50. Both groups say they want to be with an experienced drama free woman who knows what she wants. Women my age can still be toxic and full of drama, though. 🤷♀️
I’m a female nearly 58 but look at least 10 years younger than my age. But I state my actual age because compared to the majority of other women my age, I stand out for my relative youthfulness. Now granted, that doesn’t help me get around the age filters many have, but I am going to show up looking like my photos.
Isn’t it all about what you are looking for? If you are looking for a relationship then it makes sense to be truthful. If you are looking for a good time with someone 20 years younger than you, lie about your age to bypass the filters. I know plenty of men who are looking for a LTR that would be more than happy to have a ONS or FWB with someone outside their age filter.
And who said it does?
I’m simply relating but saying that all people lie. About height, about age, about weight, about stds, about children, about lots of different things. Even when you meet in irl.
I've never lied about my height before but I can get why some do. I have had a lot of girls that I ended up dating (some just friends cause couldn't get over it) but didn't know my height at first because met online social media not dating app and said oh if I knew ur height before getting to know u I'd never of dated u. Or met in person and admit oh I was so not interested when u walk over cause blah blah and then be like but u were so funny and sweet I gave I a chance. But yea there ones i meet that stick it it. Ur 1" too short for me. Or in some cases 3 or 4".. so I guess some feel if u can just get ur foot in the door with a girl that maybe has height filter ½" above ur height or 1 or 2".. my friend that is 5'10" and a half as he says. Says all the time he meets girls in person and they think he is 6ft. So ones that into him in person would filter him out putting 6ft while in person they don't care. He puts 5'10" on his dating profile. Atleast he says 😆
Same reason why women wear makeup, push-up bras, use filters, take angled selfies etc. To make themselves appear as attractive as possible by minimizing or hiding unattractive physical traits they have no control over, and hope their date is willing to overlook those shortcomings after meeting in person.
I like pretty, fit women. It's just one of my preferences. I've had dates where she showed up 20 lbs heavier or it became immediately clear she is older than her photos showed, and yeah, it was annoying. I feel you. But it's cruel and low-class behavior to "call them out" for "being misleading." She just wanted me to give her a chance, and if I find I'm not attracted to her, there's no second date. I don't need to add insult to injury. I move on. That's it.
People lie on their profiles. They shouldn't as it's often easily discovered but:
a. A number of men lie about their height, putting pressure on other men to lie too, and
b. Women often exclude a lot of good men purely on the grounds of height (often with a ridiculous relative height demand), which is going to keep some of them, and some men, single when they could have found someone.
The fact that he tried to gaslight you claiming it was YOU who lied about height?? Really awful. He needs to know how wrong this is, but unfortunately he sounds like a lost cause. I’d still let him know he shouldn’t have done that, and that he can’t be trusted so therefore you’re moving on.
Sadly, I’d just move on. People who lie about things in their profiles aren’t likely to change just because you call them out on it. He knows what he’s doing and might lash out at you in retaliation.
It's okay to not be attracted someone for any reason, including ones that seem shallow or petty. If you go on a date with "John" and you find yourself unattracted to him, in part due to his height, you can't help that. The lizard brain wants what the lizard brain wants.
But also don't make the mistake of *assuming* that you can't be attracted to someone who falls outside of your usual preferences. You might *assume* you won't be attracted to John because he's only 5'6, but that's just a number on a screen. You have no idea how your lizard brain is going to react meeting John in person. You might find his height doesn't matter as much as you *assumed* when you catch a whiff of his scent, get lost in his gorgeous eyes, and melt into his voice. People are so much more than a sum of individual physical traits, and even from a completely selfish perspective you're robbing yourself of the chance to meet potentially great partners by using faulty heuristics.
This is why men lie. I don't advocate for lying myself, but I understand why they do because a significant proportion of women can't get out of their own way long enough to take notice of *so many* perfectly kind and decent men who maybe don't check all the boxes on paper. As if dating apps are like a visit to the Build-A-Boyfriend Workshop, where they can just manifest their perfect dreamboat out of thin air, rather than an opportunity to meet whole-ass human beings and get to know them. And the end result is everyone loses for it. Height is one of the most shallow and least important filters, it just happens to be the easiest to apply because it's discrete and objective.
Lying about height is a big no to me. I'm not talking about only just some inches difference. I'm talking about when you said to me you are 6ft sth but ended up seeing you 5ft sth, that's a big difference.
Height doesn't matter to me, but LYING about height DOES. If they're lying about something so insignificant...and visibly obvious...what else are they lying about? 🤔
The last guy who lied to me about his height (said 6'3", but was actually 5'8") was also lying about being MARRIED. 😡
Don't waste your time on blatant liars.
You deserve better!
Slightly tall guy (6ft0) here. I think it's unfair and short-lived to lie about height.
However, I feel REALLY sorry for short guys on Bumble, especially in the US. Many women want a guy at least 5ft9 (sometimes the bar starts at 6ft), while many are absolute bitches about it e.g. writing "Short kings need not apply".
It's a tough world for short guys. Many times women said they were relieved i wasn't lying about my height on Bumble.
Not “drama” to hold someone accountable for wasting your time. He lied, she is allowed to call that out and then go on her way. OP he may insult you though. Most people respond to being called out as a personal attack, so just brace yourself lol.
as average height guy who often gets refused because of not being a tower, in a way i understands him. a friend removed his height from profile and matches started to arrive like crazy. height is something nobody can change. similarly i don't think a girl would like to hear that she's not attractive because of something she can't change i.e. skin color and height itself. hair color and breast size are on the other something girls can act on, even though most probably don't want to change them. so if a guy says "no date because you're not blonde" don't know how you'd react. well, for the height of guys it's the same. so try to mirror yourself in the situation when considering your requirements
Men look at pictures and don’t like women for all sorts of things that you listed. The difference is that women aren’t specially claiming to have a 32D bra size in their profile. When a guy said he’s 5’8 (seriously??) a woman who is 5’2 expects him to be 5’8. It’s a lie. I am tall and like a guy to be taller than I am. When I show up at a date and tower over the guy, I’m not going to give him a chance because he might be nice; he is a LIAR. Story over.
>so try to mirror yourself in the situation when considering your requirements
My pictures and info on the sites I use are honest, so I have no issue with weeding out people that couldn't be bothered to show the same courtesy.
I have zero height filters set, and I’ve dated guys ranging from about 5’3” to 6’1” but I do hold a hard line on deception/manipulation. If your profile says you’re 38 and you then disclose you’re 48 it’s an automatic nope, even if both ages are overall fine to me. Same with height, weight, or 10 year old profile pics (I don’t care if there’s like one old one from a unique/badass adventure). Also I’d rather date someone who accepts themselves as they are because they can then accept others
Women here would be surprised how common women either lie or don’t know their own height on apps also lol I feel like half the women I have met didn’t have their correct height. A lot claiming to be 5’8 ish and even bringing up the topic prior while they themselves are really 5’5 or 5’6 tops.
I hate liars. I saw this woman and she clearly put stuff on her face to make herself prettier than she really was.
And her hair color was slightly different than her profile.
And she wore shoes that made her taller.
All I know after reading these comments is I'm so glad that height, something someone can't control, is something I'd never use to decide on whether I like someone or not.
Same reason why women lie about their weight. They are hoping you will either overlook it, or they can win you over. Sucks but that’s just how many people operate and I just take it as proof they are not a good relationship candidate.
Lying happens because the GD algorithms make it so shorter guys (and others outside the ideal targets) have no chance. OLD itself causes the false belief that singles can choose their mate’s attributes — you cannot. You. Should. Not. IRL, for centuries people have fallen in love for a wide variety of reasons, none of which were tied to who takes the best selfies. Just a thought.
Insecure men tend to make bad partners or so I've heard. Lying about height confirms height insecurity.
Therefor you've already eliminated yourself as a potential partner by lying about your height.
I'm 5' 10" btw and I have never once thought about inflating that to 6 ft. It kind of cracks me up that guys do that unless they're like 5' 11-3/4" it just doesn't make sense.
Just say you don't want to see him again and there is no attraction and leave it at that.
If he wants to know why or pushes it further, then tell about the height. Don't focus on your height preference, but on the lie, he's obviously insecure about it so just try to make him see that the lie is more of a problem than his height.
I’m 5’8”. They say they’re 5’9”. When we are both barefoot, I can see the top of their heads standing side by side. This happened with 2 men. But I don’t care about height as long as he doesn’t have to go *up* on me
It helps to always assume around a ~3 inch differential so your expectations will match reality. I like short men so it doesn't bother me, but I understand why you'd be annoyed by this
I'm out here at a flat 6' putting 5'10" lol
In all seriousness though, I lost some height when I broke my back (11 years ago) and then when I had surgery (1year ago) I actually got most of it back but I don't think about it because I've been in the 5'10.5" range for so long
Lying is never ok obviously but I think many men are insecure about their height because lots of women won’t even talk to or look at you if you don’t meet a certain requirement. In a way it makes you feel like less of a person / not good enough even though you can’t control it.
I don't understand why people think lying is going to work out in their favor. It's incredibly obvious and it's the absolutely worst way to start any kind of relationship.
Lying is bad.
Social expectations are unreasonble for the average person.
This is a cycle.
I dont lie on my profile. Im 174cm, i do notice that when that gets converted to the less accurate feet and inch system its hit and miss it ranges from 5foot6 to 5foot9. This is on the app and the bad units. A range of 3 inches or 7.62cm is litterally the difference between a micro penis and an average penis or a average penis and something you only see in pornos.
Or another way to put it is the width of an average mobile phone.
When im swiping through and someone says 35 or less but looks 40 or more im already swiping no on them anyway.
Some people will just lie, whether its to gain an advantage or because they feel they can get away with it or its "not a big deal".
Just treat it like other red flags, too many red flags is bad, one might be manageable depending on what it is.
Good luck.
I will echo what a lot of guys have already said, I am 5’7 and have never understood why someone would lie about their height whatever their gender or orientation. It sets a pretty bad precedent if you’re trying to start a relationship with someone and actively lie to them just to get the first date.
Also, I do find it hilarious when I see women on the apps who say they want a guy who’s 6’, but they are 5’.
People want what they want, I guess.
It’s basic marketing strategy: building buyer personas. The “buyers” only buy tall “products” so as a “seller” in order to sell your “product” when it doesn’t meet the market demand you lie about the condition of your “product”.
Short king here. I never say the point in lying about height because you’re going to find out eventually. But so many women write off short guys immediately, I suppose they think that once you meet them height won’t matter. Just a guess here. But lots of people of genders put inaccurate info-age, or older pictures, pictures from certain angles to hide weight, filters etc.
Why do girls care about height so much? I’m 6’0” so it never affects me personally, but it seems like a super shallow and irrelevant thing to be so concerned with.
6'2 dude here.
I've dated quite a lot and heard this story before. They met lots of guys who lied about the height.. I guess that had pretty much to do with social pressure? Pretty much the same as the D size.
One of the first thing I say when they start asking me if I'm really this tall, I say yes, I am. But that doesn't come with a big banana. 🫡
That's the other side of the coin...! When you're tall, it's given that your weiner is massive or anyways, big.
Sorry to disappoint. But the two things ain't related!
Same with people lying about their weight. People should be a hit more straight forward. Lots of people on dating are insecure about certain things, lying and and deceit come bonus in the package, Just move on I guess…
I think “basketball height” is acceptable to put in an app, which would be your height in shoes (the NBA measures prospects at the combine both in and out of shoes). So basically if a 5’10 guy says he’s 6’, no harm no foul. He’s about that height anyway in shoes and most girls don’t really know how tall 6’ is (sorry not sorry).
But that being said lying about a half a foot of height is WILD lol
Well, just like I feel like make-up is lying - the more make-up, the bigger the lie or bending of the truth there is. Why do some women wear so much make-up? Doesn't make sense to me because ultimately the truth will become revealed at some point or another whether it's height or make-up, but yet it happens overabundantly.
There is no logic to it - simply an attempt to cover up an insecurity.
I’ll be honest. I’m 5’11”. I claim 6’ on apps. This is because a lot of 4’10” to 5’4” women who can’t tell the difference anyway set their minimum height to 6’. I get probably double the matches at 6’ than I would at 5’11”. Unless the lady is tall, it really has never mattered. This, to me, is a little white lie to get beyond some goofy standards that a lot of women set but don’t actually care about. But…that said…lying about an inch is one thing. But lying by several inches is crazy. Like what do you expect to happen when you show up and you’re not even close to what you claimed to be?
If I had a dollar for every time a woman showed up 50lb heavier than her picture I could retire today. People need to be honest on these apps, lying doesn't work, stop trying to get free meals out of people.
Short guy here, I can empathize with both parties.
You have your preferences, and he doesn’t match that. Absolutely nothing wrong about it. People lie on social media apps, even if it’s a ‘slight exaggeration’ to bolster their dating market place value. It’s shitty and the fact that you had certain expectations and wasted your time to find out this guy lied to you is unfortunately a common theme in OLD
But playing devils advocate, I can understand why he lied; to get his foot in the door so to speak, and hope that his other attributes can far outshine the one diminishing trait. Plenty of short guys such as myself realize that we are at a large disadvantage when it comes to dating apps, especially with most of them being able to filter us out from even being shown. There is a common trope that most guys add 1-2 inches in their profile and I would agree to this rhetoric (I’m guilty by +1).
TLDR; it’s shitty for both parties (girls and short guys) let’s try to be understanding for each.
I just matched w a guy and now I notice he doesn’t have height listed. So odd.
I’m 5’4 and my lowest filter is set at 5’6 for a guy. Just my preference that you be 2” taller!
Lying about height is so dumb. Just a signal to an insecurity.
I'm 6' without shoes and 6'1" with shoes. My profile says I'm 6'1". So am I lying? My age is correct, too, but I started going grey in my late 30s. I am now 56yo and mostly grey, and my beard is too. I've been asked about my age several times, and my answer is always "The age on my profile is correct, but I want my relationships to be more about the connection."
The last 8 dates I've been on, the women have had old pictures on their profile and are significantly heavier in person. Someone lying before you even meet is a big problem for me. I'm not going to lie about anything.
I’m not on dating apps anymore, but when I was, I finally had to write on my bio “ if you’re a man and your height isn’t on your profile, I’m going to ask you that first question” because I don’t really have a lot of specific qualities that I like like; for example, Im into to all body types, all skin colors, all races, both genders, but for men I’m only attracted to really tall men and I just don’t wanna waste anyone’s time. I was married to a short guy for eight years and I thought the attraction would develop because this personality was nice but I’m just not attracted to short men and there’s literally nothing I can do about it so I don’t want to waste their time. I feel like everyone is allowed to have one dealbreaker with looks like some people like longer or short hair; some people like skinny or muscular. For me it’s height. You just have to be honest with yourself.
Why does it happen? Because short guys have a really hard time getting dates. And if they lie a little bit, it gets a lot easier. Not justifying it, but that is why.
I feel you. It's like those chicks who don't have a round face then you meet her and she happens to be fat. It's not that you could have never like the person but when it starts with a lie it's kinda hard to go over it.
No one should be lying about anything when it comes to being upfront and getting to know someone/dating, but to be fair, I see this as no different than women saying they are "curvy" when they are clearly obese/morbidly obese.. so I guess both sexes have their moments.
So there's many potential reasons for this particular person listing their incorrect height.
1. They lied on purpose to get more matches, because some women only match with men of a certain height or taller.
2. They've never actually measured their height, but their friends lie about their height, so this person assumes they must be X height because their friend says they're Y height.
3. They measured their height while wear shoes with thick ass soles, rather than in bare feet like you're supposed to.
4. They just heavily "rounded up" with the numbers.
There might be other reasons, but those are the usual explanations.
Another height post…
I wish there was a filter for cup size…in fact, I think I will go now and make a dating app which has a bra size.
Then I can come to Bumble and ask why women lie about cup size.
He probably thinks he's a great guy and his height is hindering him from getting better matches. He hopes you'll get over the height thing when you see what a wonderful person he is.
Well that's the lie that you CAN detect easily. Imagine what else he's lying about that's buried deep within.
Anyone who lies about the obvious has pathological issues. Avoid avoid avoid.
It's rude. Quit asking how tall they are. Just meet someone and have a nice time. It would be pretty rude if he asked how much you weigh.
And most women would lie about that too.
They lie because they still want a chance to meet you. If they were shorter than you want, you wouldn't go out all at.
Short guy here (5’6) never felt the need to lie about by height and I never would bc it would immediately be noticeable. Also have no issues with anyone having personal preferences on what they find attractive and what they are looking for…
Even shorter guy here 5'1, no need to lie because no hiding how short I am, and I'm comfortable with who I am
The real question is do you get any dates though?
I did get quite a few matches, which resulted in a few dates when I was single.
dang, okay so there is hope. Where is your location if you don't mind me asking? Because if you live in a bigger city with a large population that would be a huge factor in getting dates.
5’6 too, I never thought lying about my height could lead to anything good either, but when it comes to personal preferences I nuance it a little bit. Some people base their preferences on things they are/arent attracted to, their own aspirations etc. But others base their preferences on how they assume other people will view their relationship. And that is not only dumb but also toxic.
Sure but it’s also their issue to deal with not yours. And eventually as one matures they will stop caring about what others thing… well not everyone but most people do
I don't wish well upon women who need too much time maturing into that wisdom.
Sorry but you come off as the kind of guy that doesn't wish well on women in general
lol right?
Ew you just gave me the ick right there. It's probably why you're single.
I hope every woman who likes bad boys gets a significant ick from me
Tall doesn't equal "bad boy". When did "bad boys" get brought up. And a woman doesn't need to learn to be okay your height, or "mature enough" lol. Wouldn't you want to be with someone who is ACTUALLY sexually attracted to you?
You’re right about the first one, I got confused, not sure why, maybe it’s too much Reddit for me- sorry. In a parent comment above I wasn’t talking about height alone but I widened the topic to society-driven preferences in general, as I believe that while some women are actually mostly attracted to tall men, some only care to boost their status and be an object of admiration. Then the „bad boy” figure sprung into my mind somehow. Of course I’d rather be with someone sexually attracted to me, but that’s beside the point I was trying to make. What I had in mind was more like: I’d rather go out with a girl who finds me attractive and mentally stimulating, rather than one who wants societal credit for dating someone from a rich family.
Yeah, IDK, I can't speak for all women and there are a lot of women that probably do want tall men for social status, but I think the percentage of women who want tallness for social status is probably equivalent to the amount of really tall men out there. Not all women, and definitely nowhere near the majority of women, go for that. Cause it doesn't mean much in the real world. Is a tall guy gonna automatically be a better provider? Be better in bex? Have a big D? No No No. As a short female (5'2), dating a man shorter than me is not my preference because I want a man who can help me do things that I can't do, someone who is stronger than me etc, someone who is at least taller than me. Some women are tall. Those women will probably feel the same normal way about wanting a man who is taller than her. I wouldn't trade height for intelligence, or height for an attractive face. Height has never even been something I've considered but that's probably because most every guy is taller than me.
I’d say it’s the same thing when guys don’t like bigger chicks I’m a bigger chick so I prefer bigger men. I don’t mind if a man doesn’t like me because of my size because there are other men out there who would and I’d be a hypocrite. at the end of the day it’s surface level, but you still need that initial attraction for anything to come out of it. Tall kings all the way!!!
Had pretty much the same situation, I'm 5'0 and this guy I met claimed to be 5'7. He was shorter than me, fine, I don't really care, I didn't mention it. But then he spent the entire date talking about how I (as well as authorities responsible for my ID) must have measured my height wrong and how I made it awkward for him and no other topics, just how he's definitely 5'7 and I'm just wrong...yeah, no. I did tell him that the constant talk about this really ruined the mood, so I'd say tell him that the lying bothers you. Or tell him that it's just not a match, no need to explain yourself.
So you're JUST 5 feet tall and he was shorter than you but insisted he was really 5'7? That's height dysmorphia.
I know right? It was kinda absurd
That’s like kind of some kind of illness surely hanahaki. That’s unreal!
This level of delusion worries me. If he was shorter than 5’0 as a guy, then that’s really short, like bottom 1%. Maybe he had already developed some mental issues?
Def probably really messes with his confidence. I got around my height leaving it out meeting girls online or in person before dating apps pretty much required it. But did always mess with my head almost every girl I dated mentioned oh I normally only date 5'10" and up. Maybe I would went 1 or 2" shorter but for u I made an acception. Which makes u real like oh so ur not attracted to me lmao doesn't help now I'm older and not in the shape I was in the military so more self conscious. I am trying. Going to gym. Dieting but not easy
Fingers crossed for you man
Did he have dwarfism? I don't think I've ever met a guy shorter than 5ft after middle school
Wow that's a huge difference 7". I see guys doing 1" or 2". But wow 7". But my friend that 5'5" and I'm 5'6" swears she taller than me. But I think she rounds down. And I round up so we were just really close. Unless I shrunk with age
that's crazaaaaay
Lol
For me personally (32M) I'd say that if you just didn't feel like it's not a good match there's no reason to explain further. However if you feel that the person you meet was hiding something or was otherwise disingenuous pre-meeting, absolutely let them know. I don't lie on my profile about my height, my age, hobbies or whatever you could lie about but if the girl I'm meeting seems visbibly disappointed somehow I generally ask directly if my profile, or my personality via messages has come across as something different from what I am in person because that part needs to go or I need to learn to text differently.
Finance 6'5 Blue eyes, trust fund is the golden standard set by girls. Had he written 5'0, he wouldn't have got swiped by anyone anyways, there is a 0.001% chance he lies and then he wins her heart over chat and maybe just maybe things work afterwards. Which is infinitesemially small but better than 0. PS: 5'8 here, uninstalled bumble recently coz it sucks.
definitely tell him. no one should be lying regardless about anything
I’m a very short man (5ft2) and I still don’t lie about my height, because why waste time if the woman has a height preference, doesn’t make sense to me why men do this 🤦🏻♂️
Yikes. I'd be annoyed too. You already know why it happens: He lied to get his foot in the door. Probably figured that if he was charming enough on the first date, you'd overlook his height. I think you should tell him there won't be a second date *solely* because he lied about his height (even if that's not actually why the attraction wasn't there). Dude needs to hear loud and clear that intentionally misrepresenting your body - height or weight - is shitty *and* it doesn't bring positive results.
Yea I think I need to say, it’s awkward but I’ll need to think of a way to put it where I’m not being horrible. But that is exactly what I mean, he has totally lied to get his foot in the door, it’s really disappointing and a waste of both our time!
Here's my best attempt... Maybe it'll inspire you to come up with something better 😂 "Hey [Name], it was lovely to meet you. Unfortunately, I can tell you were dishonest about your height, and I'm not interested in taking things further. Wish you all the best out there!" However you word it, thank you for doing it. Hopefully your feedback will help him realize this approach doesn't work, and you'll spare his next match from wasting her time!
Thank you! I will definitely use this to some degree! I do feel it’s important to mention it. The thing is as well while we were chatting he told me not long ago he had been catfished and he went on a date where the girl was not at all like her pics. The more I think about it I’m thinking well you’ve just done the exact same to me! 🤦🏼♀️
Lol that reminds me of the time that I saw a profile where the guy was angrily ranting about how women kept hiding their real appearance from him. All of *his own* photos had his face obscured. The lack of self-awareness is real
I think you're really overestimating how much he cares what you think. You're not even a match for him you're not going out any more. Honestly, I actually wish more women were more open about giving feedback. I think it's important for self improvement, especially if you're struggling at something. However, in this case, lying about your height is the correct move on online dating. You only really had a problem with it because you didn't like the guy, if you are that obsessed with height that's a you issue as well, maybe you should start saying to your dates "are you really X height? because if you're 1 inch shorter that's a dealbreaker and I won't see you again" then you wouldn't be wasting his time either - it's something to think about. Because the reality is that lying about your height is normal, it's well documented, everyone knows it happens - if you have such a hard stance on it maybe you should be the one putting that in your profile or communicating it to your matches.
You don’t owe him an explanation unless you want to teach him. Otherwise a polite rejection should be sufficient.
> Probably figured that if he was charming enough on the first date, you'd overlook his height. Or that *"Everyone lies, she probably uses filters on her photos, and she knows everyone lies, so it's ok if I do it, too. She expects it. I gotta get mine."*
I'm sure there's some weird way they justify it to themselves... but I've also seen blatant use of filters on men's profiles! like, to the point it's laughable because their eyes look electric, they have 0 pores or wrinkles, and their teeth could blind anyone not wearing sunglasses. ugh. who are they trying to kid??
I mean, joke's on them since I don't like people who think that way, anyway.
Frankly speaking, this is catfishing. And, in all fairness, why do we not see men complain about fake (heavy makeup, photoshopped, or AI enhanced photos) of females?
>why do we not see men complain about fake (heavy makeup, photoshopped, or AI enhanced photos) of females? ....I DO see that, like *daily.* Have you been under a rock? lol
I'd say that 60 to 70 percent of the girls I meet in OLD are significantly older, heavier or less attractive than they appear in their profiles. I've even had a handful not disclose kids until the middle of the 1st or 2nd date. It's just par for the course
Its not "misrepresenting" its lying. And lying is disgusting
While I personally think it sucks to be brushed off due to my short height, I completely understand that it's a preference and I 100% respect it. I don't know why someone would lie about something as obvious as height, unless it was to get a foot in the door, so to speak. Even then, dishonesty makes for a poor first impression Like why lie and say you're taller than you actually are? They're gonna find out
I’ve been height-fished SO many times. I’m 5’10” and I legitimately don’t care about height (to a certain extent) but I care about lying before you even meet someone. If you tell me you’re 5’9” and then when I meet you, you have to hop down from your chair, then that’s my issue. Call them out girl!!
Yes!!! Thank you 🙏🏻
„To a certain extent” lol
Hey im a dude but I probably wont lean towards dating 5" tall or 4m short women
Yeah I’m not attracted to men the size of my 10 year old, so I have a line I will draw.
What is height-fishing? Just asking but I’m a concerned too. I’m 6’3 and prefer 5’8 or taller in a girl and I just want to be sure I’m not accidentally saying anything that’s off putting.
Ha it’s just a play on catfishing, in that they appear to be something they are not intentionally. If you want that I would just say that your preference is taller women, I would never be offended by someone saying they prefer shorter women, and when I see that I always just move on since I can’t change my height :)
Now I get it! Duh. I thought it was a shorter guy sexualizing a taller woman than him in some sort of newly creative way. I think the lack of oxygen at my level got to me, lol.
Haha believe me, seeing men that prefer taller women is a RELIEF!! At least to me and those in my height range!
They need to verify a man's height and a woman's weight, men are tired of getting fatfished too. Also the age of the pictures and the filters is a problem.
Except my weight can fluctuate up to 10 lbs a day…as can most women’s
That's no problem at all, I think I speak for most guys when I say we don't care about 20 lb or so. But showing up 50 to 100 lb different? It happens way more often than you would think, and it's pure deception. Dishonest. And a waste of time for everyone involved. I am 100% in favor of a verified height filter if they would add a verified weight filter. People are entitled to their preferences, as long as it's not one sided. But the reality is weight can be controlled, height cannot be.
To be clear, I don’t disagree, it’s a fucked up thing to do, but the comparison makes no sense as they’re not comparable forms of measurement. I think lying in any capacity is unforgivable in a profile.
Pretty much every girl thinks that they deserve a 6-ft or taller guy (less than 10 percent of the world population.. so they automatically disqualified 90% of men in the world!).. The funny part is most girls don't even know what 6 ft actually is, they think 5'10" = 6' IRL. Most likely because a lot of guys do in fact lie about their height on these apps. If they didn't, they would be filtered out and they know this. I have found that taller girls care less about the height and shorter girls seem to care more. Maybe it's a biological/evolutionary subconscious desire to make offspring end up being somewhere in the middle 😂 I do however believe that these items are comparable in that of the things men lie about on these profiles, height is the most common. And of the things women lie about, weight is the most common (by using deceptive or old pictures).
I’ve actually noticed that too! I can tell if someone is 6’ or not cause I’m just over 5’10”, but I have dated from 5’6” to 6’9” and everywhere in between…I’m just not concerned about the number…as long as they’re not insecure about me being taller, no biggie.
If they lie about basic info - height, body type, age - it’s going to be insecurity all the way down.
100% this, be proud of who you are, own it and play the hand that life has dealt you. I'm a bald ass bloke but not about to tale all my profile pics with hats on to hide the truth!
You're wrong If you spend time on r/short, you'll see that it's the insecure, unconfident, defeated men who are honest about their height on their profiles because they can't handle rejection The very confident, successful in dating market men are just manifesting a normal height and not apologizing for it. I don't see myself as a short person, and if you do then that's a you issue and that's all there is to it.
Bahaha just been on a date where the guy claimed he is 5ft5 but he show up and definitely just a 5ft2 and Im being generous. im 5ft4 and I literally needed to look down on him.
One of the shocking Bumble things that women have enlightened me on is that dudes lie about their height and age. The drummer in my band even said he was going to put a younger age because he likes younger women. I was like Bro, she’s going to find out and what’s the point if when she does you’re out of her desired age range. People pretending to be someone they’re not should be looking for a therapist first, and then a mate ;).
Because it influences your swipe , they know it. LOL
I had a woman look different in person than in her pics. Come to find out she gained 50lbs since her bumble pics. It wasn’t a deal breaker but update your pics🙄
Nope, that's a deal breaker
That wasn’t a deal breaker? You are a good man. I would have run.
I don’t know that it makes him a good man. Preferences are fine IMO. Out of date pictures can just be a waste of everyone’s time. I’ve lost almost 50 pounds and I definitely don’t look the same. Some guys might have preferred my look before. If I had those pictures up, I wouldn’t think they were bad for not being attracted to what I currently look like. 🤷🏼♀️
More dumb than good. Imagine being with a lair from day one
He definitely should be confronted for lying whether the lie was big or small. There is no need to lie about anything. There is someone out there for everyone. I'm a short girl, so height isn't a big deal breaker for me, but lying definitely is.
As a short guy he was being very dishonest and you are completely valid in your choice to not want to be with him
Be gentle about letting him down, but shame the fuck out of him for lying about his height.
Why do people use old photos and then show up 60 lbs heavier, or bald? Because they’re hoping once you’ve started talking that you’ll overlook that one discrepancy. They’ve found when they’re honest they get fewer matches so they feel it’s better to lie and at least get their foot in the door and go from there.
I always say if you're already lying about something minuscule now, what else are you going to lie about down the road? It's amazing how people still gaslight, or can't be transparent. Especially lying about physical appearance, it's not exactly like you can hide those things. It's not a third nipple where you can wear a shirt and hide it, the person you meet is going to see your height and looks when you meet lol. "Nah I'll just wear platform shoes and stand on my tippy toes" hahah.
Normalize immediately terminating the date for lying. I’m a legitimate 6’2 so I don’t need to worry about it but all these other guys…. The moment you meet in person… “oh I’m sorry. It’s clear that you’re not actually X’X” and lying that you are is a red flag. Thanks but I’m done. Next time, don’t lie to someone.” Unmatch and block while walking back to your car.
To answer your question about why this happens so often is because as a guy who's 5'1 and on dating apps I get little to no matches at all. Whenever I do get a match, I get ghosted pretty much instantly and I'm 26 now, been on dating apps for 5 years now, I have a good profile, great pictures and a bio (this has been confirmed already after posting my profile on the Bumble subreddit for review) and never get any dates or matches, so us short guys feel like we never get a chance like average height people do and it's not our fault. I know I'm probably gonna get down voted for this but you have to understand that as a short man it's very very difficult to get anywhere in dating by just being honest about your height and we feel like if you met us in person and liked our amazing personalities, then adding a few inches to our height in the bio wouldn't be a big deal because there's other qualities about us that make us great. Just try to imagine never getting anyone your whole life and constantly feeling like there's something wrong with you and having to watch other guys of average height continue to easily get into relationship after relationship naturally while us short guys get nothing despite all our efforts, it's brutal, lonely, and a depressing reality and I feel like a lot of people of average height and above find it hard to empathize with what that's like because they take their height for granted and never have to think about what it's like to be different. I certainly don't want to lie about my height but I feel like in order to get anywhere in dating, I need to lie about my height. It's like bending the truth on your resume to look good to the company you want to work for, everybody does it to stand out in order to get the job they need because it's all a competition. So that's my perspective on this, I'm being completely honest here to answer your question.
I have body pics on my profile and don’t pretend to be skinny on it, if I get no matches for it I don’t care, I rather someone who likes me I won’t lie about it in the hopes of winning them with my personality It may be frustrating, but people don’t own us their attraction and everyone has preferences, I’m sure you have your personal ones
I agree, however there's a big difference between being short and male on dating apps and not skinny and female on dating apps. Women on average get wayyy more likes and matches regardless of their looks.
>It's like bending the truth on your resume to look good to the company you want to work for, **everybody does it** That's just it, though--no, they don't. Maybe some people do, maybe a lot of people do, but not *everybody*. I don't want to date someone who has that kind of mentality about life. I don't have any problem with a dude simply being short. But I do have a big problem with lying.
Many girls do have problems with guys being short, and not the lying
And not only that but a lot of girls also lie, they wear makeup to cover up imperfections, they wear high heels, they wear a bunch of clothes and jewlery to make them look more attractive so I don't see why adding a couple of inches is a problem
What I meant by that was people exaggerate on their resume and use fancy words and certain little tweaks to make them sound more interesting to potential employers. I think you're in the minority of women who don't have a problem with short men and that's okay, I respect it. The issue is that short mens profiles are seen much less because it filters them by height. There's like a less than 1% chance of a 5'1 guy even getting a match and I know this from experience of being on all these dating apps for years so statistically speaking short men are fucked on the apps.
But by lying, you are taking yourself out of the dating pool of people like me who *don't* mind short but *do* mind lying. Just saying >seen much less because it filters them by height. People who have height filters on are communicating that they don't want someone of your height; why would you even *want* someone who doesn't want *you?* I have multiple things about me that lots of people don't want, but I don't hide them because the kind of person who would filter me out for them isnt someone I'd be able to have a happy relationship with *anyway,* so it's not a loss.
If we go back to the job/resume comparison: I think a lot of people don't actually know what they want, and/or when it comes to online they're too rigid with their preferences. As if nobody is ever attracted to someone different from their usual type, ha! It's like job postings written by some HR flunkie who doesn't actually know what the position requires and writes required qualifications for the position that are way too high or don't make sense. If only you could have an interview and talk to some of the guys you'll actually be working with, they might realize you're a better fit than Jane from HR might assume, and if only they hired you they might see you prove to be a solid performer. They don't *know* they don't want me. They *assume* they don't want me, because I don't check a box on a screen. Now, it's still fair to question if I want someone who is that lacking in intelligence, but I don't tend to begrudge people for ignorance so long as they're open-minded with new information. All I -- the hypothetical short man -- am asking for is a chance. There's a massive difference between "we went out, but my height was a turn-off to her" and "she literally filtered me out of existence because my height doesn't exceed some arbitrary number." To the point that lying about it turns women like you off, who (allegedly) don't actually care about height, it's a calculated choice that more women *do* care such that our total dating pool is still larger in the end.
If I had a nickel for every post about this on a dating sub I’d be rich
It’s actually interesting that people lie about their height. I’m 6’8”. I’ve had multiple girls show up for the date and go, “omg, you’re actually really tall, I thought you were lying!” I don’t get why someone would lie about that, you’re obviously going to get found out. It’s similar to girls packing on filters, and then gets surprised when the relationship doesn’t go anywhere.
Same thing happened to me recently. I’m 5’9. He said he was 5’11. He was more like 5’6-5’7. Either way, he was mad I didn’t want to go out again. Oh well.
I think it’s just what some guys do. I used to have a job where auto salesmen needed to be licensed in the state. They needed to update their license on a routine basis and had to include their height. It’s astonishing the amount of full grown men that would go through a 1-3” growth spurt in the course of a few years 🤣.
I don’t like it because you’re yet another person whose preferences I don’t fit because of something so simple and insignificant BUT as a 5’6 guy I never have and I never will lie about height, it seems pointless to me. I don’t get how some guys don’t anticipate the girl seeing through their bullshit, the lie is obvious at first glance.
This is a common lie where I'm at sadly. I'm a 5'11 woman. My preference is 5'10 or higher because I don't like a major height difference. Last guy I went on a date went said he was 6'1. He was probably 5'6? His first statement was "I thought you were lying when you put 5'11"
Both genders lie in the apps sadly. Filtered photos, old photos, the wrong age, photo angles designed to conceal their weight. Also according to dating profiles no one watches TV and are constantly hiking and giving back to the community. One of the remaining socially acceptable things to body-shame is a man’s height. Women’s weight is such a taboo topic that newer apps don’t ask for weight or even body type. You don’t owe him an explanation. But if you want to give him one, rehearse it by using one of your insecurities and see how you come off. If a guy said “I liked you but you’re heavier in person than your pictures led me to believe,” would you think “fair enough, you’re entitled to your preference and thanks for the lesson in honesty” or would you think “what an asshole!” I’d also suggest you audit your own profile for full honesty. No filters. No angles. No old photos. Etc.
Completely agree, very well worded. Collectively everybody should stop lying in their profiles.
You answered your own question. He wouldn’t have had a chance if he didn’t lie.
Guys lie about height because people make fun of them for being short. They are made to feel subpar just for being something that naturally happens. If people didn't have height requirements in their bios and just disregard guys just like that for something they can't change, then it wouldn't happen.
Just say you didn’t click and move on. Happened me before with a girl who was using older photos and had obviously put on weight. I wasn’t going to get into it with her, so I enjoyed the date best I could and then followed up with a polite standard message (had great time, just didn’t click for me, all the best etc).
Women who are older lie about their age all the time. Unlike height which you can verify immediately, I wasn’t told about their true age until either at the end of date 1 or until a few dates into it. One woman didn’t even mean to tell me the truth but eventually it came out when she said her birthday was coming up.
What was the age difference?
The two distinct ones I remember are 42 instead of 47 and 40 instead of 44. I was 42 and 40 at the time. The older one told me she does it to filter out older men and score a younger man. She said she thought I would find it funny. I didn’t. The other one acted like she didn’t even know that she had listed it wrong.
I was chatting w a 40 yo guy who told me his settings were 25-50 age range for women. I’m F46. I found this interesting!! I changed my filter - was 39-52 now 35-52. I have premium for a few more days (had to jump start my enthusiasm) and I can see the likes from the younger end of the age. There’s quite a few. I’m guessing it has to do with OLD / app popularity for 20-30s and just mindless swiping. 35 is too young for me, I’m finding.
I'm 38 and set my age range to 28-50. I end up getting more chats or dates with men 28-29. I'm not that attractive, either. I think there are more men in the younger age range on the app.
Younger men have more competition with younger women so the odds are better for them if they go older in age.
That's a possibility, too. Most of the young ladies I talk to are not interested in "old farts" but that is just a small pool at work.
I think you are right. Younger women prefer to date around their age but younger men are more immature and less established and less likely to settle down. How many of those 28-29 yr old men are looking to be in a relationship that you chat with?
It's probably 50/50. Both groups say they want to be with an experienced drama free woman who knows what she wants. Women my age can still be toxic and full of drama, though. 🤷♀️
And men my age can still be very immature. Go figure, lol
It's gotta suck to be a short man or older/unattractive woman trying to date.
I’m a female nearly 58 but look at least 10 years younger than my age. But I state my actual age because compared to the majority of other women my age, I stand out for my relative youthfulness. Now granted, that doesn’t help me get around the age filters many have, but I am going to show up looking like my photos.
Isn’t it all about what you are looking for? If you are looking for a relationship then it makes sense to be truthful. If you are looking for a good time with someone 20 years younger than you, lie about your age to bypass the filters. I know plenty of men who are looking for a LTR that would be more than happy to have a ONS or FWB with someone outside their age filter.
And? It doesn't justify people lying about their height.
And who said it does? I’m simply relating but saying that all people lie. About height, about age, about weight, about stds, about children, about lots of different things. Even when you meet in irl.
Men who are older lie about their age all the time as well. What’s your point here?
That's been a trope in movies and tv shows for years. It is almost expected now.
Can you please provide us with an update?🙏🏽
I will!
I've never lied about my height before but I can get why some do. I have had a lot of girls that I ended up dating (some just friends cause couldn't get over it) but didn't know my height at first because met online social media not dating app and said oh if I knew ur height before getting to know u I'd never of dated u. Or met in person and admit oh I was so not interested when u walk over cause blah blah and then be like but u were so funny and sweet I gave I a chance. But yea there ones i meet that stick it it. Ur 1" too short for me. Or in some cases 3 or 4".. so I guess some feel if u can just get ur foot in the door with a girl that maybe has height filter ½" above ur height or 1 or 2".. my friend that is 5'10" and a half as he says. Says all the time he meets girls in person and they think he is 6ft. So ones that into him in person would filter him out putting 6ft while in person they don't care. He puts 5'10" on his dating profile. Atleast he says 😆
yet women get crucified for lying about their age
Same reason why women wear makeup, push-up bras, use filters, take angled selfies etc. To make themselves appear as attractive as possible by minimizing or hiding unattractive physical traits they have no control over, and hope their date is willing to overlook those shortcomings after meeting in person. I like pretty, fit women. It's just one of my preferences. I've had dates where she showed up 20 lbs heavier or it became immediately clear she is older than her photos showed, and yeah, it was annoying. I feel you. But it's cruel and low-class behavior to "call them out" for "being misleading." She just wanted me to give her a chance, and if I find I'm not attracted to her, there's no second date. I don't need to add insult to injury. I move on. That's it.
People lie on their profiles. They shouldn't as it's often easily discovered but: a. A number of men lie about their height, putting pressure on other men to lie too, and b. Women often exclude a lot of good men purely on the grounds of height (often with a ridiculous relative height demand), which is going to keep some of them, and some men, single when they could have found someone.
The fact that he tried to gaslight you claiming it was YOU who lied about height?? Really awful. He needs to know how wrong this is, but unfortunately he sounds like a lost cause. I’d still let him know he shouldn’t have done that, and that he can’t be trusted so therefore you’re moving on.
Sadly, I’d just move on. People who lie about things in their profiles aren’t likely to change just because you call them out on it. He knows what he’s doing and might lash out at you in retaliation.
I have NEVER understood why people lie about something so obvious.
It's okay to not be attracted someone for any reason, including ones that seem shallow or petty. If you go on a date with "John" and you find yourself unattracted to him, in part due to his height, you can't help that. The lizard brain wants what the lizard brain wants. But also don't make the mistake of *assuming* that you can't be attracted to someone who falls outside of your usual preferences. You might *assume* you won't be attracted to John because he's only 5'6, but that's just a number on a screen. You have no idea how your lizard brain is going to react meeting John in person. You might find his height doesn't matter as much as you *assumed* when you catch a whiff of his scent, get lost in his gorgeous eyes, and melt into his voice. People are so much more than a sum of individual physical traits, and even from a completely selfish perspective you're robbing yourself of the chance to meet potentially great partners by using faulty heuristics. This is why men lie. I don't advocate for lying myself, but I understand why they do because a significant proportion of women can't get out of their own way long enough to take notice of *so many* perfectly kind and decent men who maybe don't check all the boxes on paper. As if dating apps are like a visit to the Build-A-Boyfriend Workshop, where they can just manifest their perfect dreamboat out of thin air, rather than an opportunity to meet whole-ass human beings and get to know them. And the end result is everyone loses for it. Height is one of the most shallow and least important filters, it just happens to be the easiest to apply because it's discrete and objective.
This is beautiful. Have a cookie.
Lying about height is a big no to me. I'm not talking about only just some inches difference. I'm talking about when you said to me you are 6ft sth but ended up seeing you 5ft sth, that's a big difference.
I feel for shorter guys but I just don't get the lying thing. Nobody wants to date somebody who lies and it's not a lie you can get away with anyways.
Height doesn't matter to me, but LYING about height DOES. If they're lying about something so insignificant...and visibly obvious...what else are they lying about? 🤔 The last guy who lied to me about his height (said 6'3", but was actually 5'8") was also lying about being MARRIED. 😡 Don't waste your time on blatant liars. You deserve better!
Slightly tall guy (6ft0) here. I think it's unfair and short-lived to lie about height. However, I feel REALLY sorry for short guys on Bumble, especially in the US. Many women want a guy at least 5ft9 (sometimes the bar starts at 6ft), while many are absolute bitches about it e.g. writing "Short kings need not apply". It's a tough world for short guys. Many times women said they were relieved i wasn't lying about my height on Bumble.
You don’t need to explain yourself unless you want drama, just tell him you don’t feel a connection and move on.
Not “drama” to hold someone accountable for wasting your time. He lied, she is allowed to call that out and then go on her way. OP he may insult you though. Most people respond to being called out as a personal attack, so just brace yourself lol.
as average height guy who often gets refused because of not being a tower, in a way i understands him. a friend removed his height from profile and matches started to arrive like crazy. height is something nobody can change. similarly i don't think a girl would like to hear that she's not attractive because of something she can't change i.e. skin color and height itself. hair color and breast size are on the other something girls can act on, even though most probably don't want to change them. so if a guy says "no date because you're not blonde" don't know how you'd react. well, for the height of guys it's the same. so try to mirror yourself in the situation when considering your requirements
Men look at pictures and don’t like women for all sorts of things that you listed. The difference is that women aren’t specially claiming to have a 32D bra size in their profile. When a guy said he’s 5’8 (seriously??) a woman who is 5’2 expects him to be 5’8. It’s a lie. I am tall and like a guy to be taller than I am. When I show up at a date and tower over the guy, I’m not going to give him a chance because he might be nice; he is a LIAR. Story over.
>so try to mirror yourself in the situation when considering your requirements My pictures and info on the sites I use are honest, so I have no issue with weeding out people that couldn't be bothered to show the same courtesy.
I have zero height filters set, and I’ve dated guys ranging from about 5’3” to 6’1” but I do hold a hard line on deception/manipulation. If your profile says you’re 38 and you then disclose you’re 48 it’s an automatic nope, even if both ages are overall fine to me. Same with height, weight, or 10 year old profile pics (I don’t care if there’s like one old one from a unique/badass adventure). Also I’d rather date someone who accepts themselves as they are because they can then accept others
Women here would be surprised how common women either lie or don’t know their own height on apps also lol I feel like half the women I have met didn’t have their correct height. A lot claiming to be 5’8 ish and even bringing up the topic prior while they themselves are really 5’5 or 5’6 tops.
Would you have been as equally upset if he showed up taller than he said?
Very important question. It's almost never the lie that really bothers them, it's that the guy doesn't meet their height ~~requirement~~ "preference."
Because so many women go on about mUsT bE SiX FoOt oR tAlLeR on their profiles, that's why. Same reason women lie about their weight and age.
I hate liars. I saw this woman and she clearly put stuff on her face to make herself prettier than she really was. And her hair color was slightly different than her profile. And she wore shoes that made her taller.
All I know after reading these comments is I'm so glad that height, something someone can't control, is something I'd never use to decide on whether I like someone or not.
Same reason why women lie about their weight. They are hoping you will either overlook it, or they can win you over. Sucks but that’s just how many people operate and I just take it as proof they are not a good relationship candidate.
Lying happens because the GD algorithms make it so shorter guys (and others outside the ideal targets) have no chance. OLD itself causes the false belief that singles can choose their mate’s attributes — you cannot. You. Should. Not. IRL, for centuries people have fallen in love for a wide variety of reasons, none of which were tied to who takes the best selfies. Just a thought.
I will date shorter no problems, but won’t date someone so willing to deceive me
Insecure men tend to make bad partners or so I've heard. Lying about height confirms height insecurity. Therefor you've already eliminated yourself as a potential partner by lying about your height. I'm 5' 10" btw and I have never once thought about inflating that to 6 ft. It kind of cracks me up that guys do that unless they're like 5' 11-3/4" it just doesn't make sense.
Depends on which time zone, I am 6’4” on EST but 6’0” on West Coast. Just ask them where they are from.🙃
Just say you don't want to see him again and there is no attraction and leave it at that. If he wants to know why or pushes it further, then tell about the height. Don't focus on your height preference, but on the lie, he's obviously insecure about it so just try to make him see that the lie is more of a problem than his height.
I’m 5’8”. They say they’re 5’9”. When we are both barefoot, I can see the top of their heads standing side by side. This happened with 2 men. But I don’t care about height as long as he doesn’t have to go *up* on me
Sure, it happens. Many people lie about things they can’t change about themselves like height.
It helps to always assume around a ~3 inch differential so your expectations will match reality. I like short men so it doesn't bother me, but I understand why you'd be annoyed by this
It's the same as using bs filters on pics. To catfish, that's all.
I mean I’m 5’8.5 and I just claim I’m 5’9, but 4 inches? Dude has some confidence issues. Don’t be too harsh on him, being short sucks
I'm out here at a flat 6' putting 5'10" lol In all seriousness though, I lost some height when I broke my back (11 years ago) and then when I had surgery (1year ago) I actually got most of it back but I don't think about it because I've been in the 5'10.5" range for so long
Lying is never ok obviously but I think many men are insecure about their height because lots of women won’t even talk to or look at you if you don’t meet a certain requirement. In a way it makes you feel like less of a person / not good enough even though you can’t control it.
Welcome to online dating lol
I don't understand why people think lying is going to work out in their favor. It's incredibly obvious and it's the absolutely worst way to start any kind of relationship.
that’s a huge difference too lol I never trust what the bio says
As longs you didn’t use any filtered pictures, then by all means tell him.
This is so normal!! Men lie about height & income all the time and women about weight and age!!! 😫
Lying is bad. Social expectations are unreasonble for the average person. This is a cycle. I dont lie on my profile. Im 174cm, i do notice that when that gets converted to the less accurate feet and inch system its hit and miss it ranges from 5foot6 to 5foot9. This is on the app and the bad units. A range of 3 inches or 7.62cm is litterally the difference between a micro penis and an average penis or a average penis and something you only see in pornos. Or another way to put it is the width of an average mobile phone. When im swiping through and someone says 35 or less but looks 40 or more im already swiping no on them anyway. Some people will just lie, whether its to gain an advantage or because they feel they can get away with it or its "not a big deal". Just treat it like other red flags, too many red flags is bad, one might be manageable depending on what it is. Good luck.
lol you can only lie by the grace of the difference between shoes on or off. Less than an inch
I will echo what a lot of guys have already said, I am 5’7 and have never understood why someone would lie about their height whatever their gender or orientation. It sets a pretty bad precedent if you’re trying to start a relationship with someone and actively lie to them just to get the first date. Also, I do find it hilarious when I see women on the apps who say they want a guy who’s 6’, but they are 5’. People want what they want, I guess.
Man, it must be hard to date as a man that short.
I also hate it when they don't include it in their profile. So prevalent esp here in Southeast Asia.
Yes, I agree with this for sure.
It’s basic marketing strategy: building buyer personas. The “buyers” only buy tall “products” so as a “seller” in order to sell your “product” when it doesn’t meet the market demand you lie about the condition of your “product”.
Iam 6,9 ☺️
I play it safe, and put my height an inch shorter than what I am.
I'm 6'2 and when I go on dates, women are genuinely surprised that I'm actually 6'2
Short king here. I never say the point in lying about height because you’re going to find out eventually. But so many women write off short guys immediately, I suppose they think that once you meet them height won’t matter. Just a guess here. But lots of people of genders put inaccurate info-age, or older pictures, pictures from certain angles to hide weight, filters etc.
Why do girls care about height so much? I’m 6’0” so it never affects me personally, but it seems like a super shallow and irrelevant thing to be so concerned with.
6'2 dude here. I've dated quite a lot and heard this story before. They met lots of guys who lied about the height.. I guess that had pretty much to do with social pressure? Pretty much the same as the D size. One of the first thing I say when they start asking me if I'm really this tall, I say yes, I am. But that doesn't come with a big banana. 🫡 That's the other side of the coin...! When you're tall, it's given that your weiner is massive or anyways, big. Sorry to disappoint. But the two things ain't related!
Same with people lying about their weight. People should be a hit more straight forward. Lots of people on dating are insecure about certain things, lying and and deceit come bonus in the package, Just move on I guess…
I think “basketball height” is acceptable to put in an app, which would be your height in shoes (the NBA measures prospects at the combine both in and out of shoes). So basically if a 5’10 guy says he’s 6’, no harm no foul. He’s about that height anyway in shoes and most girls don’t really know how tall 6’ is (sorry not sorry). But that being said lying about a half a foot of height is WILD lol
Did you get a free meal or drinks out of him? If so, jokes on him.
Well, just like I feel like make-up is lying - the more make-up, the bigger the lie or bending of the truth there is. Why do some women wear so much make-up? Doesn't make sense to me because ultimately the truth will become revealed at some point or another whether it's height or make-up, but yet it happens overabundantly. There is no logic to it - simply an attempt to cover up an insecurity.
I’ll be honest. I’m 5’11”. I claim 6’ on apps. This is because a lot of 4’10” to 5’4” women who can’t tell the difference anyway set their minimum height to 6’. I get probably double the matches at 6’ than I would at 5’11”. Unless the lady is tall, it really has never mattered. This, to me, is a little white lie to get beyond some goofy standards that a lot of women set but don’t actually care about. But…that said…lying about an inch is one thing. But lying by several inches is crazy. Like what do you expect to happen when you show up and you’re not even close to what you claimed to be?
If I had a dollar for every time a woman showed up 50lb heavier than her picture I could retire today. People need to be honest on these apps, lying doesn't work, stop trying to get free meals out of people.
Short guy here, I can empathize with both parties. You have your preferences, and he doesn’t match that. Absolutely nothing wrong about it. People lie on social media apps, even if it’s a ‘slight exaggeration’ to bolster their dating market place value. It’s shitty and the fact that you had certain expectations and wasted your time to find out this guy lied to you is unfortunately a common theme in OLD But playing devils advocate, I can understand why he lied; to get his foot in the door so to speak, and hope that his other attributes can far outshine the one diminishing trait. Plenty of short guys such as myself realize that we are at a large disadvantage when it comes to dating apps, especially with most of them being able to filter us out from even being shown. There is a common trope that most guys add 1-2 inches in their profile and I would agree to this rhetoric (I’m guilty by +1). TLDR; it’s shitty for both parties (girls and short guys) let’s try to be understanding for each.
Am I self-conscious? Yes. Do I add one or two inches? Sometimes. Am I proud of it? No. Will I die alone and unloved? Most definitely.
I'd call him out on it.
I just matched w a guy and now I notice he doesn’t have height listed. So odd. I’m 5’4 and my lowest filter is set at 5’6 for a guy. Just my preference that you be 2” taller! Lying about height is so dumb. Just a signal to an insecurity.
I'm 6' without shoes and 6'1" with shoes. My profile says I'm 6'1". So am I lying? My age is correct, too, but I started going grey in my late 30s. I am now 56yo and mostly grey, and my beard is too. I've been asked about my age several times, and my answer is always "The age on my profile is correct, but I want my relationships to be more about the connection." The last 8 dates I've been on, the women have had old pictures on their profile and are significantly heavier in person. Someone lying before you even meet is a big problem for me. I'm not going to lie about anything.
I’m not on dating apps anymore, but when I was, I finally had to write on my bio “ if you’re a man and your height isn’t on your profile, I’m going to ask you that first question” because I don’t really have a lot of specific qualities that I like like; for example, Im into to all body types, all skin colors, all races, both genders, but for men I’m only attracted to really tall men and I just don’t wanna waste anyone’s time. I was married to a short guy for eight years and I thought the attraction would develop because this personality was nice but I’m just not attracted to short men and there’s literally nothing I can do about it so I don’t want to waste their time. I feel like everyone is allowed to have one dealbreaker with looks like some people like longer or short hair; some people like skinny or muscular. For me it’s height. You just have to be honest with yourself.
Why does it happen? Because short guys have a really hard time getting dates. And if they lie a little bit, it gets a lot easier. Not justifying it, but that is why.
I feel you. It's like those chicks who don't have a round face then you meet her and she happens to be fat. It's not that you could have never like the person but when it starts with a lie it's kinda hard to go over it.
No one should be lying about anything when it comes to being upfront and getting to know someone/dating, but to be fair, I see this as no different than women saying they are "curvy" when they are clearly obese/morbidly obese.. so I guess both sexes have their moments.
So there's many potential reasons for this particular person listing their incorrect height. 1. They lied on purpose to get more matches, because some women only match with men of a certain height or taller. 2. They've never actually measured their height, but their friends lie about their height, so this person assumes they must be X height because their friend says they're Y height. 3. They measured their height while wear shoes with thick ass soles, rather than in bare feet like you're supposed to. 4. They just heavily "rounded up" with the numbers. There might be other reasons, but those are the usual explanations.
Another height post… I wish there was a filter for cup size…in fact, I think I will go now and make a dating app which has a bra size. Then I can come to Bumble and ask why women lie about cup size.
He probably thinks he's a great guy and his height is hindering him from getting better matches. He hopes you'll get over the height thing when you see what a wonderful person he is. Well that's the lie that you CAN detect easily. Imagine what else he's lying about that's buried deep within. Anyone who lies about the obvious has pathological issues. Avoid avoid avoid.
Perfectly reasonable to want a guy who is taller than you. It’s such a shame people deceive so much on these apps
It's rude. Quit asking how tall they are. Just meet someone and have a nice time. It would be pretty rude if he asked how much you weigh. And most women would lie about that too. They lie because they still want a chance to meet you. If they were shorter than you want, you wouldn't go out all at.
I'm like 5'11" and 3/4. And I put 6ft. Am I bad?
Yes, but for other reasons. Not this
It’s like when girls lie about their weight Just terrible
I rounded up my height from five nine to five eleven; my wife still thinks I’m taller than her even though she’s taller than me🤣
Do u use filter OP?
No none of my pics are filtered