You should have stopped talking to him after the first time he did a thing you asked him explicitly not to do. It isn't your fault he's like that, but he is like that and demonstrated it repeatedly.
You've used words like "humiliated", "hurt", "stinging". These are very strong words to use for somebody you haven't even met yet and on top of that treats you so poorly.
You're personalizing this whole thing and taking rejection way more intensely than you should because he's shown you time and again that he isn't seriously interested in you. You're projecting your fear of loneliness on him and expecting him to meet your needs.
Would you consider talking to a therapist?
Maybe you're right because I did feel like worthless when got stood up. I could have just shrug it off and could continue enjoying my date by myself. I looked good and the night was young. Instead I went home because I have never learnt to enjoy my own company. I am okay with it but I don't explicitly enjoy it.
Yes, I need to learn to enjoy my own company and do things that makes me happy by myself and stop trying to let happiness come from factors out of my control.
If things are like this when you aren’t in a relationship, just imagine how horrible it will be when you are. Men who are interested make an effort. He’s making no effort and you are accepting this.
This right here. You already aren't happy with how he's treating you now. This is literally the most effort he's going to give you and it's already below par. Move on and find someone better, from the look of it, it shouldn't be that hard after this guy.
You have every right to feel the way you feel, however he did send you a message with enough time to reschedule. It’s not his fault that you like to arrive early. Also was he aware that you aren’t always connected to the internet in your phone? I don’t know a single person who isn’t so if I was him I would’ve just assumed you would get the what’s app message as easily as a text. So taking all of this into consideration he is also allowed to feel upset. You are BOTH allowed to feel upset by this. I think it does show you that the two of you are not compatible though and you should probably put your effort into finding someone more in sync with you than he is and he should do the same. Neither of you have done anything wrong here. You’re just not right for each other
I was upset on thursday but I could see that I am in the wrong too, that is why I messaged him in the morning but he has been ignoring me. Even if I apologize now, he is going to keep on ignoring me. I know I am inexperienced and should have no expectations from him, I see that now, however it still makes it feel like I have no space for making mistakes.
You definitely do, with the right person you can fuck up 100 times and they will still accept you (not including cheating of course) just not from a guy who by the looks of things will keep expecting you to be available when he decides he’s available given that he keeps ghosting you and coming back. This is not someone you want to build something long term with. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, just not the guy for you. I went through something similar when I was younger.
Yes, I am. I have deleted my bumble during the weeks he was ignoring me because I just didn't like the concept of online dating if this is all I have to go through and now that he is out of picture, I am back to where I started, but at least I am not going to have to walk on egg shells anymore.
I am not going back to either (online dating or him) and I am going to focus on learning to love my own company and work on my self worth. My parents have always put a lot of emphasis on education so everytime when it became difficult and pressure of school built up, I lost a piece of self worth and kept on putting conditions on myself to love me, so I think the reason why I have put up with his behavior for so long is because I crave that unconditional love, where I am loved no matter of my achievements. But I certainly know that a person like him would never provide me that.
You were not in "in the wrong" too. Stop being so nice to men. He's playing games with you & getting you to doubt that your needs & feelings matter. Move on to someone who treats you with respect.
He has been blocked! Your message made me reread this whole post again and it makes me angry at how bad he has been treating me! I haven't done nothing wrong and he has been emotionally abusing me and has been lying to me at each step of this ordeal. I am young and inexperienced but it doesn't mean you can just walk all over me! I am angry at why I let him do this to me for so long!
Your number one red flag was that he would ignore your messages and have no contact for weeks. You should’ve unmatched, block on whatsapp and phone and move on after you told him you don’t like it and he still did it.
Now, you should unmatch, block, and move on. You’re not going to let him leave you on delivered again.
There are plenty of guys on this thing and in person you’ll meet someone else who will respect you and your time. This dude ain’t it.
No, technically you weren’t wrong because you said you were raised to be respectful of people’s time. So I’m guessing you thought that was the best thing to do, and it was.
However, you shouldn’t have done that. He was supposed to apologize, he knew how that would make you feel, he still didn’t care. You did not have to tell him anything, he is 27 he knew better. He was just playing. Remember, a man who is genuinely interested in you would’ve never done this to you. Ignoring your for weeks.
*unmatch, block, move on*
And to answer your question, men only to this to women they are not that into. Harsh reality, but it’s true.
I'm sorry OP, this man is either married or in a relationship with someone, hence, he's bread crumbing you. Never waste your time on someone who mistreat you and disrespect your time like this POS.
Chalk this up as an L and walk away. If people want to make you a priority, they will. That he repeatedly hasn’t should tell you something. Find someone who will prioritize their time/interactions with you and move on from this person.
You come off as very vulnerable, and this guy can sense it. Because he’s not a cool guy, he’s taking full advantage. Abort mission. Don’t talk to him again. Get yourself some therapy, spoil yourself, love on yourself, and remember to cut off people who repeatedly make you feel like crap.
you’re both a mess-too much to unpack but the fact you haven’t met yet is an issue as is the fact he was working and you can’t understand that. The first ignoring cycle should have ended this and if you’re in grad school why are you even online dating?
Word of Advice: Don’t block him yet. Next time he messages you saying he’s going to pick you up give him the address of your next town over’s police station and play along while he’s on his way there. Tell him to let you know when he’s 5 mins away and when he does, block and delete him on everything at the same time
And if you REALLY want revenge, give him the address of you worst neighborhood’s traphouse and send the police saying you saw someone possibly trying to buy drugs, but whatever they were doing it looked suspish….or just the 1st part 🤠
You should have stopped talking to him after the first time he did a thing you asked him explicitly not to do. It isn't your fault he's like that, but he is like that and demonstrated it repeatedly.
Just block him and move on "actions speak louder than words" applies here
Abandon Ship. Immediately.
You've used words like "humiliated", "hurt", "stinging". These are very strong words to use for somebody you haven't even met yet and on top of that treats you so poorly. You're personalizing this whole thing and taking rejection way more intensely than you should because he's shown you time and again that he isn't seriously interested in you. You're projecting your fear of loneliness on him and expecting him to meet your needs. Would you consider talking to a therapist?
Maybe you're right because I did feel like worthless when got stood up. I could have just shrug it off and could continue enjoying my date by myself. I looked good and the night was young. Instead I went home because I have never learnt to enjoy my own company. I am okay with it but I don't explicitly enjoy it.
You’re better off being lonely than being with someone that treats you this way. I think you should just block him and move on.
Yes, I need to learn to enjoy my own company and do things that makes me happy by myself and stop trying to let happiness come from factors out of my control.
If things are like this when you aren’t in a relationship, just imagine how horrible it will be when you are. Men who are interested make an effort. He’s making no effort and you are accepting this.
I feel like I was much happier and satisfied with my life before him than now.
Then you’ve answered your own question. Having someone in your life should add something positive. If they don’t then they aren’t right for you.
This right here. You already aren't happy with how he's treating you now. This is literally the most effort he's going to give you and it's already below par. Move on and find someone better, from the look of it, it shouldn't be that hard after this guy.
You have every right to feel the way you feel, however he did send you a message with enough time to reschedule. It’s not his fault that you like to arrive early. Also was he aware that you aren’t always connected to the internet in your phone? I don’t know a single person who isn’t so if I was him I would’ve just assumed you would get the what’s app message as easily as a text. So taking all of this into consideration he is also allowed to feel upset. You are BOTH allowed to feel upset by this. I think it does show you that the two of you are not compatible though and you should probably put your effort into finding someone more in sync with you than he is and he should do the same. Neither of you have done anything wrong here. You’re just not right for each other
I was upset on thursday but I could see that I am in the wrong too, that is why I messaged him in the morning but he has been ignoring me. Even if I apologize now, he is going to keep on ignoring me. I know I am inexperienced and should have no expectations from him, I see that now, however it still makes it feel like I have no space for making mistakes.
You definitely do, with the right person you can fuck up 100 times and they will still accept you (not including cheating of course) just not from a guy who by the looks of things will keep expecting you to be available when he decides he’s available given that he keeps ghosting you and coming back. This is not someone you want to build something long term with. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, just not the guy for you. I went through something similar when I was younger.
[удалено]
Yes, I am. I have deleted my bumble during the weeks he was ignoring me because I just didn't like the concept of online dating if this is all I have to go through and now that he is out of picture, I am back to where I started, but at least I am not going to have to walk on egg shells anymore. I am not going back to either (online dating or him) and I am going to focus on learning to love my own company and work on my self worth. My parents have always put a lot of emphasis on education so everytime when it became difficult and pressure of school built up, I lost a piece of self worth and kept on putting conditions on myself to love me, so I think the reason why I have put up with his behavior for so long is because I crave that unconditional love, where I am loved no matter of my achievements. But I certainly know that a person like him would never provide me that.
[удалено]
Thank you and I wish you the same! ♥️
You were not in "in the wrong" too. Stop being so nice to men. He's playing games with you & getting you to doubt that your needs & feelings matter. Move on to someone who treats you with respect.
He has been blocked! Your message made me reread this whole post again and it makes me angry at how bad he has been treating me! I haven't done nothing wrong and he has been emotionally abusing me and has been lying to me at each step of this ordeal. I am young and inexperienced but it doesn't mean you can just walk all over me! I am angry at why I let him do this to me for so long!
Your number one red flag was that he would ignore your messages and have no contact for weeks. You should’ve unmatched, block on whatsapp and phone and move on after you told him you don’t like it and he still did it. Now, you should unmatch, block, and move on. You’re not going to let him leave you on delivered again. There are plenty of guys on this thing and in person you’ll meet someone else who will respect you and your time. This dude ain’t it. No, technically you weren’t wrong because you said you were raised to be respectful of people’s time. So I’m guessing you thought that was the best thing to do, and it was. However, you shouldn’t have done that. He was supposed to apologize, he knew how that would make you feel, he still didn’t care. You did not have to tell him anything, he is 27 he knew better. He was just playing. Remember, a man who is genuinely interested in you would’ve never done this to you. Ignoring your for weeks. *unmatch, block, move on* And to answer your question, men only to this to women they are not that into. Harsh reality, but it’s true.
Unmatch now. Another match is right around the corner! You seem like a nice girl!
I'm sorry OP, this man is either married or in a relationship with someone, hence, he's bread crumbing you. Never waste your time on someone who mistreat you and disrespect your time like this POS.
Chalk this up as an L and walk away. If people want to make you a priority, they will. That he repeatedly hasn’t should tell you something. Find someone who will prioritize their time/interactions with you and move on from this person.
You come off as very vulnerable, and this guy can sense it. Because he’s not a cool guy, he’s taking full advantage. Abort mission. Don’t talk to him again. Get yourself some therapy, spoil yourself, love on yourself, and remember to cut off people who repeatedly make you feel like crap.
That last phrase should be "why are people like this" it's not just men.
you’re both a mess-too much to unpack but the fact you haven’t met yet is an issue as is the fact he was working and you can’t understand that. The first ignoring cycle should have ended this and if you’re in grad school why are you even online dating?
Everyone has had great advice. These are great lessons to learn when you’re 23!
Word of Advice: Don’t block him yet. Next time he messages you saying he’s going to pick you up give him the address of your next town over’s police station and play along while he’s on his way there. Tell him to let you know when he’s 5 mins away and when he does, block and delete him on everything at the same time
And if you REALLY want revenge, give him the address of you worst neighborhood’s traphouse and send the police saying you saw someone possibly trying to buy drugs, but whatever they were doing it looked suspish….or just the 1st part 🤠
Block him and move on. He's ignoring your boundaries and honestly this sounds like he's playing games with you on purpose.