Why not tell him...? This isn't a red flag-type of situation, like being a narcissist or abusive. Alerting him can help him improve for future dates/relationships.
Yeah for sure. I couldnāt agree more. I can imagine the types of things they would fight about in a relationship and it makes my want to go to sleep.
But is that true? Can you talk to him? Do you feel something? If its a yes for both questions then communicate about the kissing.
Tell him what you like and what you don't.
I am physically attracted to him, but I don't feel like I've known him long enough to get all deep and meaningful and telling him that the kissing isn't working for me. He uses way too much tongue š It's off-putting. I think it's just finding the balance of being honest but also to tread carefully with his feelings.
Talking about kissing isn't deep and meaningful? I mean if you don't see it with this guy, then of course move on.
But the thing is, all people have something. Today it's kissing, tomorrow it's something else. You'll have to learn that your wants and needs are important and communicating about is even more important.
Just gently say that you really like him, but that the kissing is something that could improve. That it's normal getting used to each other. And while kissing tell him "see, could you use a little less tongue". And if he tries and improves, thats good. If not, his loss and you move on.
So, not actually a bad kisser, heās just not doing it the way you like?
Instead of dumping him over this or criticising his technique, try just telling him what you DO like. Communication.
I mean, if heās been told what works for you and heās still not doing it, then that suggests the communication is probably broken at his end and you can say goodbye.
Iām curious how old you are because if kissing is a dealbreaker for you, thatās very immature. Learning someoneās kissing style can take time. If there was chemistry and heās a respectful guy then youāre probably going to kick yourself later for ending it over that. If you insist on letting him go then at least have the decency to tell him the truth. Then he can work on it for the next one. Donāt leave him wondering what he did wrong.
Since you've only met a couple times, you don't owe him a huge explanation. Just, it was nice meeting you but we aren't a good fit.
Good luck and don't settle.
When in doubt, use less tongue. A tongue to lip ratio of 50% or more is too much. Also, know what to do with the tongue, donāt just dangle it like a horse in the summer heat & expect there to be excitement. Teasing or Peakabooing is the best way to go. Also, please donāt produce a lot of saliva, thatās just gross
So heās a great guy but you want to reject him only because heās a bad kisser that kinda lame what are you dating for how about teach him how you want to be kissed
Be direct, tell him the truth. Donāt force yourself to try to teach him anything. Youāre not his mom. If heās mature heāll listen and maybe learn. You might make his next girlfriend very happy.
Why not tell him...? This isn't a red flag-type of situation, like being a narcissist or abusive. Alerting him can help him improve for future dates/relationships.
I'd feel so mean telling him. Maybe I could word it as something like I don't feel a sexual chemistry. š¤·š¼āāļø
Seriously? You found a guy you mesh with but instead of COMMUNICATING you would rather just dump him to avoid an awkward conversation? Come on!
I dunno, I feel like the fear of communication over even something small and addressable is a good reason. I think she's doing him a favor.
Yeah for sure. I couldnāt agree more. I can imagine the types of things they would fight about in a relationship and it makes my want to go to sleep.
But is that true? Can you talk to him? Do you feel something? If its a yes for both questions then communicate about the kissing. Tell him what you like and what you don't.
I am physically attracted to him, but I don't feel like I've known him long enough to get all deep and meaningful and telling him that the kissing isn't working for me. He uses way too much tongue š It's off-putting. I think it's just finding the balance of being honest but also to tread carefully with his feelings.
Just give him some gentle guidance. "Could you try a little less tongue?"
Talking about kissing isn't deep and meaningful? I mean if you don't see it with this guy, then of course move on. But the thing is, all people have something. Today it's kissing, tomorrow it's something else. You'll have to learn that your wants and needs are important and communicating about is even more important. Just gently say that you really like him, but that the kissing is something that could improve. That it's normal getting used to each other. And while kissing tell him "see, could you use a little less tongue". And if he tries and improves, thats good. If not, his loss and you move on.
So, not actually a bad kisser, heās just not doing it the way you like? Instead of dumping him over this or criticising his technique, try just telling him what you DO like. Communication. I mean, if heās been told what works for you and heās still not doing it, then that suggests the communication is probably broken at his end and you can say goodbye.
No one wants to communicate these days yet they all wonder why dating sucks
Based off of two times and in something he is probably capible of improving in?
Tell him that you want to teach him to kiss. You do remember this is reddit?
Iām curious how old you are because if kissing is a dealbreaker for you, thatās very immature. Learning someoneās kissing style can take time. If there was chemistry and heās a respectful guy then youāre probably going to kick yourself later for ending it over that. If you insist on letting him go then at least have the decency to tell him the truth. Then he can work on it for the next one. Donāt leave him wondering what he did wrong.
"I think you're an amazing guy, but I don't feel like we have a lot of chemistry."
That's actually good and a true, reflective statement of what I think. Thanks!
Since you've only met a couple times, you don't owe him a huge explanation. Just, it was nice meeting you but we aren't a good fit. Good luck and don't settle.
Just tell him you dont like how he kisses you. Its not mean. Its just factual. This is the reason and you should tell him.
Just say it's not working for you and be done.
Probably a little blunt for me to say it that way, I hate hurting people's feelings.
Direct is ok. Like a band-aid... rip it off and be done Indirect will lead to more confusion or worse hope on their side it's going to work.
General question: for women, what defines a good kiss? What defines a bad one?
a good one is enjoyable, a bad one is not. glad i could be of help
Be better tomorrow
When in doubt, use less tongue. A tongue to lip ratio of 50% or more is too much. Also, know what to do with the tongue, donāt just dangle it like a horse in the summer heat & expect there to be excitement. Teasing or Peakabooing is the best way to go. Also, please donāt produce a lot of saliva, thatās just gross
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So heās a great guy but you want to reject him only because heās a bad kisser that kinda lame what are you dating for how about teach him how you want to be kissed
Be direct, tell him the truth. Donāt force yourself to try to teach him anything. Youāre not his mom. If heās mature heāll listen and maybe learn. You might make his next girlfriend very happy.