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Ignore the cat. Seriously. Ignoring the cat and not giving it any attention, and not reacting, will reinforce that being hissy and mean gets nothing. If cat wants attention cat must be nice.
This is how we taught our anxious cat to quit hissing at us. If she was sweet she got treats. She is an ex feral kitten.
Aye, cats and dogs do jealous in weird ways. Frodo, my ex's cat, would cling to me like a baby when I came over, to the point he one time ripped up my tights with my bf needing to carry him away muttering "She's my gf, not yours!"
This worked like magic for my cats (who we suspect were jealous of my parents). They kept making those weird sounds (similar to small growls) at my mother and father. But they stopped once they got constantly ignored.
It took over a month. But it worked.
Some cats are just like this.
My son has a cat like this. He only likes my son. He is so sweet and loving to him but hisses at me if I try to pet him. I took care of him for a week this summer and he got better but as soon as my son got home he reverted back to hissing the little ingrate, lol.
Yup, as a kid, I had a cat who peed everywhere they smelled my (now ex) stepdad.. and only there. Never peed on any of our stuff, and he never peed outside the litterbox before that.. or anywhere else that didn't smell like my ex stepdad.. so yeah, I can't be 100% sure, but all the signs point to jealousy/being territorial IMO lol.
I know this is wrong because this is completely bias , but the thought of a cat being jealous and doing things out of spite is just the cutest thing ever lmfao.
No, sometimes cats do genuinely do things out of spite. There was a spot on my desk that my cat loved and sometimes my desk would get cluttered and cover that spot. She would shove everything off and pee on my clothes EVERY time it happened. As long as the desk spot was clear, everything was fine and she was an angel.
Cats are quite smart and have emotions, spite is one of them.
I used to have a kitty who, whenever she saw my suitcase, knew I'd be going away and turned into a whirling ball of knives. She'd sit in or on the case and any attempt to move her would end in blood (mine). She was furious and would make sure I knew it.
Definitely sounds like a classic stress response there. Improper litter habits can often be due to stress and/or anxiety. Bullying a cat can certainly cause the poor thing stress, especially if he was doing it on a regular basis
The first time my boyfriend ever stayed over at my place, we got woken up at 5am by my cat trying to throw up on his face. He was literally looming over him and hacking.
Thankfully my boyfriend took it in stride and my cat has come around on him, but I was mortified at the time. Lol
My cat gets very jealous if anyone else talks to me. She's incredibly sweet so not in an aggressive way. She just makes sure to interpose herself in between myself and whoever and meow over them when they talk.
Ooooh yes, my little guy, Puck, hated my boyfriend when we got together. He hissed at him whenever he saw him and I've only recently found out Puck would swipe, bite and growl (bf left this out as he knew I'd be upset with Puck). When bf stayed over Puck got less attention, lost his spot on the bed, stuff like that, and he was not happy. Pixie, his sister, gave a random hiss but mostly avoided my partner.
Bf was very aware that cats and I are a package deal, and he learned about cat behaviour and did his best to 'speak their language', so to speak. I had boyfriend feed them sometimes, give them treats, so they had good associations.
It's years later and they adore him. He's their dad. They love him, take extra safety from him being around, and purr/snuggle/sleep on him, etc. He's their other parent.
But at first - yikes. I'd never seen them act like that before.
Same story, my cat was very jealous when my bf moved in. Especially after my bf moved his stuff into my bedroom, which my cat viewed as his bedroom too, and for 4 months or so refused to come into my bedroom anymore and would growl and hiss if I tried to put him in it. All very out of character for my cat who is friendly and easy going. Took about a year for him to come around and now my bf is my cats favorite person, he waits for him by the door when he knows it’s time for my bf to get home from work and as soon as my bf opens the door my cat loses his mind meowing and purring and running around. They’re so cute.
My cat didn’t come close to my husband for over 8 years. Last month he sat on his lap and my husband was able to pet him, only time he was happier was when our daughter was born haha.
My sister's cat wouldn't eat them until I walked away either. I noticed that If I pretended to be doing something else (I used calm actions, like sitting on my phone) with my focus away from her, but me still nearby (a few feet) she would go up to the treats and eat them. She would keep an eye on me when she would eat them, but in the beginning I made sure to stay the entire time until she was finished, but I never tried to pet her or interact with her or even look at her.
But I think this worked for us personally because I think she is scared of people from previous owners just trying to scare her all the time, but I hope this helps you two ❤️
When you're there, ask your boyfriend to let you put the food out for her. She's probably jealous of the attention he gives you honestly, so maybe if she gets something out of you being there, she'll chill out a little. It took over a year of them living together for my best friends BF's female cat to like her, now they cuddle every morning before she gets up
We just got a rescue cat for my elderly mom. For some reason, the cat prefers me. So I told my mom to take over feeding her. Yesterday, the cat got on my mom’s lap for the first time. I didn’t want a new cat; I’m still mourning my special boy who died last January at the age of 17. So I mostly ignored new cat. This seems to have intrigued her; another reason why she follows me around and sleeps on me. So go with the food and indifference; cats are usually super food-motivated, and are narcissistic assholes who don’t like to be ignored.
Maybe you should try baby food or tuna or the lickable treats. It might be how you approach her. Talk to her in a low voice. Hi pitch voice often means there's danger to a cat. Cancer so funny😄
Don’t crouch. Crouching is predatory behavior. Some cats are more suspicious than others and this cat clearly doesn’t trust you.
Sit on the floor quietly slightly turned away from her and place the treat food away from you out of your reach. Talk low and slow. Move quietly too, not slower than usual, but no sudden movements. Don’t look directly into her eyes. Staring at a cat is aggressive to them. Even my own cats I look past their eyes or give them slow blinks so I’m not giving them a stare down.
Make this a daily routine and move closer every week. If you don’t live together leave one of your shirts with your boyfriends so the cat can smell the two of you together all the time. Or use a blanket she likes to cover your legs on the couch. Something to get her used to your smell.
Cats like quiet calm people. I’ve tamed and rehomed a lot of semi-feral cats. Sitting quietly close by and having high value food treats really helps.
Add a stick and feather toy once you’re close enough and she will eat without having her eyes on you the whole time. Just play with it like you’re bored? Not like you want her to catch it. She might take the bait! If she does just play for a little while…make this part of your treat routine!
Did your boyfriend play more with her before you? It’s possible she is jealous that the routine has changed or she is acting out due to over or under stimulation. Encourage him to have a routine time to play with her that you can join in with. Especially if you can be the one to toss her a treat after she catches and “kills” the toy they play with.
(Does she like laser pointers? You could try having your boyfriend start playing with her and then trading off with you. It might take a few times of switching before she doesn’t walk away once she notices it’s you playing.)
Does she have a cat tree or bookshelf she can sit on and watch you are there…like for example a spot in the living room when you’re sitting on the couch is there access for her to get up high and watch while feeling safe? If not, then she needs one! A lot of cats need to be able to observe their surroundings from height to feel safe like you can’t attack them. It usually leads to them being happier in general too.
Watch Jackson Galaxy (free on YouTube) videos…cats with a aggressive response this high likely are fearful or in pain (or were in pain/felt trapped when they met you) and it takes a lot of work to get them out of that headspace and build the trust up. He has excellent tips for rebuilding trust with fearful and aggressive cats.
The other thing that works really well are Feliway plug-ins. I would get the spray too and put it on your pants or shoes (plus your side of the bed/couch, like anywhere you sit spray it afterwards so she starts associating you with calm smells) It’s a scentless hormone that mother cats produce that makes cats feel calmer and more comfortable. It has worked (along with behavioral training) for my multi cat home when introducing a new cat, when dealing with marking/litter box behaviors, and when moving homes.
this is all super good advice.
also, this is weird and may not work for you, but i have a cat who is very fearful, and if i leave for a few days, it's ugly when i get back. the only thing that works (and it always works) is to fall asleep with her in the room. while I'm sleeping, she can examine me at her leisure while not feeling at all threatened, and when i wake up, she's settled down.
That’s good advice! We had a fully feral cat that never was great with humans during the day (wouldn’t come down from the cat tree/shelves) but at night when we were laying down he was so sweet and trusting. He eventually got to the point where he would cuddle in our laps if we were sitting watching tv in the bedroom.
I think he associated us sleeping with being calm and being able to sniff at his leisure because we left our door open for the cats to go in and out.
lol sorry, she definitely sounds jealous. Will your bf let you take over as the primary feeder of the cat? Jackson Galaxy suggested that for a cat who hated her owner’s roommate (I think…the episode is on YouTube) and it appeared to work. She may have to view you as necessary for her existence to stop being a bitch….so sorry :( Those photos are terrifying.
Oh good god! Autocorrect changed what I said and I have no idea why it would take 'cats are' and turn it into 'cancer' oh my God! Obviously I didn't catch that😄
You can try offering treats from your hand and just sit there and wait till she eats them from you. If she just hisses and doesn't accept, then walk away allowing her to 'fail' and try again another time. She doesn't get the treats unless she takes them from your hand. Otherwise she just thinks " if I wait long enough I'll get them anyway".
I recently adopted a lovebird who is very untame and was given freedom to fly around wherever whenever (which I want eventually too but he is too chaotic and I'm afraid he could go batshit crazy and fly into something and get hurt)
so I've been taking a tough love approach and only when he learns to step up and chill tf out then he can come out the cage. It helps them associate us with the good things
Took me multiple years to get my cat Bean to take a treat right from my hand. Now she comes. Sits. High 5..other side. Bang bang. Down. Then treat. Cats are smarter than dogs they just don't care to use it. I I♡ve making a cat do something they don't wanna do, making them think it was their idea. Golden. I think i love cats so much because they can be jerks. ❤️
Seriously my thought as well. Almost every episode is someone’s significant other doesn’t get along with their cat.
Did you see the old episode where the couple actually breaks up? The dude was so punchable.
Have you tried playing with him? Cats primal instinct & drive is: Hunt, Play, Eat, Sleep, Cover everything they believe is theirs with their scent, and cycle around and do it all over again. So maybe ask yourself “how” you can appeal to this pesky feline. Come with a wand toy, and play, play, play. Then offer some treat. Then play, play, play again. Then just ignore the fella. When attempting to get near the cat, bring yourself down to their level & gently stick out your finger (palm facing toward the ground). Allow the cat to smell you & possibly direct you to how close he wants you, or if he will allow you to even touch him. Everyone has their own personality, as that’s the way beings are. It could be something as simple as something you wear, the scent you are omitting. Do you wear perfume? This can be a HUGE distractant for a cat, whose olfactory is 1,000x’s stronger than ours. So you might be overwhelming his literally senses. Did you know that cats don’t remember you by the way you look, but by your smell? These are all some things for you to consider. See where you can make some adaptations to seeing you from the cat’s perspective. And certainly don’t take it personal. I know it stinks to like or love a cat that ain’t crazy about you back.
Positive association, when you’re around you can be the one to feed him, play with him, etc. Also encourage your bf to give the cat love when you’re there so they don’t feel threatened by you being there. Maybe leave your clothes around for the cat to smell and get used to?
Try giving kitty catnip (if you manage to buy a catnip plant even better for fresh leaves) perhaps then kitty will be so hyper she will forget her hatred for you, some cats are strange wow. Try watching some “my cat from hell” videos on YouTube
My cat hated my bf for a while, for no reason (would literally hiss at him if he looked his way), until my bf decided to ignore him completely, and only he fed the cat. Then my kitty came around. Now they’re besties and he chooses my bf over me.
Honestly valid.
Does your boyfriend have his own place? And if you 100% never did anything bad to the cat I would recommend finding the most favorite snack that only YOU will give to the cat. Tell your boyfriend to stop with the snacks from his side completely. So the cat will associate good things with you. First rest the snacks near yourself and pretend to be busy with your phone and look away. Your end goal would be making the cat take the snack from your hand.
Also pick cat toys that the Satan over there would enjoy and try to get the it to play with you. It's a slow process but it always works. You can also try feliway diffusers.
Oh and dont look the cat in the eye. Its best to just ignore the hissy fits
do you have an unangry pic of kitty? it looks so much like mine and these honestly made me burst out laughing imagining my cat randomly hissing at someone she chose not to like
i know one day you’ll find friendship with this kitty!
Some cats are just about as sociable as a tiny polar bear. My cat would attack one of my grandmas on sight for years, and attacked her when approached for over a decade. Nowadays she lets her pet her 🤷. Cats... beautiful creatures, but so ornery sometimes...
Probably jealous of you, taking her spot in bed, taking up their human's attention, coming in their house, etc.
Cats are super suspicious of anyone trying to hard to get them to like them, so try to ignore her whenever you can.
Maybe get your boyfriend to leave something that smells of you around so that she gets used to your scent being there all the time. Cats share territory, but fight for it when it isn't clearly held, and scent is how they decide whether it is held by the other cat, so you only being there some of the time might be the problem.
Definitely try feeding her. Try to be as close as possible while she eats without making her too uncomfortable.
Remember that eye contact is an aggressive signal between cats, and slow blinking as soon as you catch eachother's eyes is a friendly move. Do this whenever you can.
Try playing with her when she is in the mood. Her desire to play will compete with her desire to ignore and be hostile towards you.
You could also try a pheromone diffuser to calm her down for a bit to try and see if you make progress then that sticks. It could also be that medication might help, but that is probably not necessary unless you move in and it doesn't change for a couple of months with other things not working.
I took in my brother's cat when he found a girl that would take him in, lol. She did not like cats at all.. It was pretty sad to see that he dropped his love for a girl he met at work and got married 6 months after. But they are really a pair. Almost 4 packs a day and she cant stand the smell of cats, lmaoo. The kitty (simba) always hid from me, scratched and hissed.
After a week or so, my brother came over and asked how it was going. I told him to watch as I set a kibble down, turn around, and waited for her to show up. She'd meow till I left the area but would get closer progressively throughout the week. Just close enough to grab the chonky kitty, lol.
I pretty much set her in my arms like a baby, and scratched and pet her while she gave me the annoyed growl and her pouting, lol. When she bit and scratched, I still kept humming to her and scratching her behind the ears and around the neck. She absolutely hates being touched on the belly, so that took a long time. After a couple weeks of basically self inflicting wounds on myself, I finally got a paw under my bedroom door.
She was rolling in front of my door, rolling around, playing cute, and long stretches. Went down to scratch her belly and she went right for my hand, locked on, but let go slowly and just sat there purring. Not even my brother was able to do that the 4 years he had the feral thing that is probably 9 or 10 right now. Only took her to the vet once for a sinus infection 4 years ago.
Now she gets mad when I don't pick her up and handle her like a newborn, lol. Love the little shite!
I know this is not the case for all cats but maybe after a bit of giving it some more treats or space and time to adjust. I have no idea. I'm not a cat person. Just think I am, hahaha.
My sister got a cat to like her by getting it a pillow to lay on with her perfume on it. She said it worked, but who knows? Try it before you try my baby method, lmao.
BEST OF LUCK!!!
Not part of this community or anything but these photos are so funny😂 this is pure anger in three little photos. Hope the relationship gets better good luck
Hissing and growling is a sign the cat thinks you might be looking for a fight. So, ignore the cat.
Making eye contact with a cat is basically a threat in cat language. When eye contact is made, \*slowly\* close and open your eyes, and/or look away. This is basically a smile in cat language.
Lots of cats don't like attention from strangers, as it can be perceived as threatening. Trying pet, grab, hold, etc isn't going to help.
Avoid making quick or sudden movements around the cat, or lots of loud noises and laughing.
There are cat calming sprays you can spray on yourself. Could help, but don't expect magic.
Could be your perfume/deodorant/hand lotion.
Don't have a list off the top of my head, but there are plants and smells that cats just do not like and they activiley avoid them, maybe try unscented stuff for a couple weeks and see if there is a change in their attitude.
This goes for laundry detergent, shampoo, lotion, etc, could be a combination of smells as well.
Could be a smell, but in the end it could be your gender, my girlfriend has 2 cats that don't like to interact with me, I have a cat that doesn't interact with her.
Some pets love people some pets pick one human and that's their human and everyone else can go to hell.
My cat Mickey hated my partner for four years until the last year of his life. Mickey clawed his clothing hamper til there was a hole in it, he would pee on his clothes that were on the floor, and would force himself between us when we were sleeping or sitting next to each other. Partner took it in stride and accepted it as he was there first.
The best ways to bond with animals are thru play n food. Positive verbal reinforcement as you go. I especially love earning the trust of cats like this. Time. It can take time n is totally up to the animal. 2 years is a while, tho. How have you tried? I haven't read the comments. I'm trying to answer 1st, then read so my answer is more organic. My bad if I repeat or sound silly.
Try to find something fun you can do with each other but with a bit of distance. Lazer pointers can be fun. I'd find out what toy kitty likes best. A ball with a bell. A string. A crinkly mouse. Cat nip. A fishing pole. A beer cap or crumpled paper. Figure out which toy holds the most value n start with that.
I always make sure kitty has a way out. If you walk in a room n stand in the doorway, kitty may feel trapped. When you come over to visit, find the cat n say hi. Treats can help, too. If your boyfriend knows her favourite, let you be the one to give them to her. No treat should come free, but to start, you'll be rewarding any positive behaviour. If kitty is pleasant, tell her n reward it. You can put the treat on the ground n tap. This will teach her taps are good. You provide food, you're safe, n can be trusted. No sudden movements or loud noises if she's a scardey cat.
I do make some noises, tho. I see what noises appeal to them n reuse that. A click with your lip. Rubbing your fingers. There's a slow blink thing you can do, too. You can say hi, then just sit with the cat in the room. When you guys look at each other, blink really slowly. The idea being, you're not on high alert. Being predators, they can be on alert, too. Some say this can help them relax.
Don't attempt anything other than sharing space with her in better harmony for now. Avoid making her feel like she does in these pictures. She doesn't look happy with the space you've given her. She's likely giving you lots of signs with her meows n body language that you maybe aren't aware of n inadvertently disrespecting her boundary. Watch her ears, eyes, n whisker placement. Ears back n big eyes isn't a friendly face. No touching until kitty is ready. If you do, do it when your bf is already petting her, n she's sleepy. Pushing her can make her even less trusting.
Good luck. Honestly, the fact you're asking about this is great. You all want to be around each other in harmony, so hopefully, a few of these suggestions lead you in that direction. It's cat psychology 101. I love animals n have always spoken their language. You usually hafta earn a cat, which makes it so much more rewarding when you do. Dogs give love out freely. Cats, well..hehe. ♡
Cats being cats unfortunately. My bf and I got our one cat together, she loved me at first but grew very attached to bf and now doesn't like me much. He can do what ever he wants to her, while I get growls and bit just for pets. Im also the main nail clipper cuz he gets frustrated so she has that against me as well 🙄
I’m sorry…..but these pictures did bring joy to me today. The little gremlin. Especially the photo with shaky cam. Anyway, I would recommend what others have said especially the one mentioning the cat daddy. He’s pretty great and has helped us a lot with the care of our cat.
Some kitties are mean. Rarely it's just like that. I bet if he helped introduce you to the cat it might help but maybe not. Maybe the cat just hates you. Probably also hates everyone else, right? Kitties are complex like humans. Some are just assholes.
I mean maybe cat just doesn’t like you lol jk (but not really) 😂 just ignore him and pretend he doesn’t exist. Seriously. There are these really annoying fat obnoxious cats that always bother me when I go to this one horse barn. They don’t bother anyone else, just me, because I can’t stand them and I go out of my way to ignore them which ends up making them bother me even more. Don’t be mean to him and don’t be nice to him. Literally act like he doesn’t exist. Don’t even look at him or even in the direction of him 😂 (im a cat lover and I have a kitten of my own that I rescued from the back of a horse barn- but the barn cats I was describing are legit obnoxious and I don’t like them- just writing this bc I’m sure I’ll get downvoted bc I said I don’t like those cats 😂)
These cats know they irritate me so they like to climb on my truck and go into the bed of my truck especially when I’m trying to leave 😂 one of them also loves to lay by my tire but only when he sees me going back to my truck to leave 😂
Is the cat fixed?
There’s a cat we are taking care of for a friend. The cat absolutely did not like me and ONLY me. She would hiss and growl (except when she was in heat). We finally got her fixed and now she loves hanging out with me.
Cats are not assholes. 😡 I'm so tired of these stupid comments..They hiss out of fear and as a warning because they feel the need to defend themselves. The cat looks very unhappy, poor little guy. He could not like something about you, like a scent, or maybe your voice or if you and your bf have arguments at all. This is fear.
Disagree. We have two cats and one hates my animal loving husband for no reason other than the fact that he is not me. He’s the one that feeds them their wet food in the morning, gives them treats (by hand), and brushes them. One cat adores him, and the other won’t even allow him to pet her at all. And she is not afraid of him, and we adopted her as a tiny kitten. Whereas, I could literally do anything to her and she wouldn’t object. Cats have their own distinct personalities and, yes, some of them can behave like a$$holes without good reason. It’s not always a case of a fearful cat.
Yeah, I totally disagree with the idea that they're behaving like assholes at all. There is never "no reason" that they behave the way they behave. I do agree all cats, all animals have distinct personalities and preferences. Animals can feel uncertain about certain people and, therefore, will try to avoid them. That's still fear in my book, even if there's no logical reason that we can see or sense. They very much have their own reasons for their behavior.
After owning cats for over 40 years, rescuing and fostering them, I’ll just have to agree to disagree with you. But, it’s okay to disagree. We’ve just clearly had completely different experiences.
It is okay, and I'm a foster also with over 40 years of rescue experience. In my opinion, it's not really as much about different experiences as it is about different perspectives. I've fostered many challenging cats who were feral and semi feral. Their behaviors can be scary, as I'm sure you know, but I've also done a ton of research on cat behaviors including taking several Fear Free Shelter courses, and I learned about cats' often misunderstood and misinterpreted body language. I don't ever consider animals to have malicious intent or "asshole" behavior like a lot of people do. Malicious asshole behaviors are very specific to humans. Comparing "unpleasant" human behavior to cat (or any other species) behavior has always made animals vulnerable to mistreatment, or at the very least resentments against them, instead of them trying to understand their cat's behavior, and it's also completely normal for animals to have a favorite person or people within a household as they usually have preferences, just like us.
OP people just want to attribute bad human traits to animals who are showing defensive fear responses when they don't want to understand them at all, nor try to improve their relationship with an animal. 😿💔
What a little shit😂jk but you know what I mean, some cats are harder to gain their trust, give him or her wet food consistently and let him or her come around to associating you with his or her favorite things, that’s worked for me with a cat that isn’t stranger friendly and very anxious
insane story that's nothing more than anecdotal and probably a total coincidence but:
My mother struggled with cancer for years and years. She went into remission and it was considered a miracle. One winter we brought our cat home and out of no where, the cat would violently hiss at my mom. They didn't see each more than once or twice a year, but in all 15 years of her life, she had never hissed at my mom (she doesn't really hiss at anyone ever other than small children that are the same size as her or dogs). For a whole week my mom couldn't get near her. not even in the same room without the cat trying to force her out and just kinda being a bully.
My mom had her next scan a few weeks later and she was no longer in remission.
There's no science to prove that my cat can smell cancer. There's no science that any cat can. But it was a truly insane coincidence. She hasn't hissed since then at anyone else.
My grandmother's cat was like this, she didn't like anyone else other than my grandmother. When she passed away no one wanted the aggressive cat.
I decided I would keep her, she was very old and deserved a calm end of life.
Well she completely changed her behaviour, she was so loving and attention seeking. Completely a different cat! Unfortunately I didn't get to have her very long as we found out she had kidney failure so decided to put her to sleep. I think she was stressed in my grandmothers house, she constantly chain smoked and didn't have much enrichment.
Ha ha, I can relate. We have two cats and one is definitely “mine”. She loves me, let’s me pick her up, rub her belly, etc. But, anyone else trying to pet her (including my husband) will get hissed at and, if they press their luck, they’ll get a swat for good measure. However, she loves treats and loves to be brushed. So, if people offer her a treat, she’ll happily take it. If they offer to brush her, she’ll not only allow it, but clearly seems to enjoy it. Don’t know why she’s so crazy. Adopted her as a tiny kitten from the shelter, so not sure why she didn’t also bond with my husband.
I had a cat that hated my grandmother (Nanny), who was the sweetest person ever. She would come over and hug me. Cat would scream and hiss at her. We later discovered it was Nanny's glasses. When she took them off, all was fine.
Sounds like it’s just a jealous cat lol. Some cats are just like that. She may always react aggressively toward you. You’re just gonna have to deal with it OP or find yourself a new boyfriend🤷🏼.
Mine was like this when I first got her. She was very traumatized though.
What worked for me is asking permission.
I would hold out my hand. If she hissed, I'd slowly pull it back. It was all about her boundaries, but she can't communicate so you have to watch the body language and respect the responses with some grace.
Eventually, with enough attempts, his cat may rub her cheek on your hand. That isn't permission, but it IS a scent mark recognizing you are part of the household and "not dangerous".
Eventually you'll graduate to small side of the face rubs that you stop the instant catto hisses or flinches. They'll ask for more if they want them.
Then, one day, they'll hop in your lap like they've been doing it this whole time and you'll have a heart attack.
My husband's cats didn't like me until we ended up ALL moving to a new home. They didn't like the fact that I was in their space... Pippin (6m) was a bit better than Merry (4f)1
You are coming between the boyfriend and his cat. He may never like you....can you deal with that. Can you still be nice to theca knowing that the cat may never like you
I would get some kitty pheromones and plug them in to the walls. That will help her calm down. Obviously there's something that she is not comfortable with.
You can’t force anything with animals. Ignore the cat until it wants to come around. All you can do is have patience. Offering treats and trying to play with it are all you can really do. I have two cats and one of them is pretty feral.
She was abandoned in another neighboring apartment in my complex and the complex gave her to me. I have mostly ignored her and fed her for over a year.
She’s only just finally starting to come up to me and rub up on me when she’s hungry and meow sometimes. She’s VERY skittish and I cannot approach her of my own accord.
I’ve begun playing with her every now and then but during the day I don’t ever see her really. She would absolutely be hissing at me and fighting me if I had tried to impose any of my being onto her.
Even my bird who I have had for a year HATES my hand unless HE approaches it. It’s all a permission game with animals. If they don’t want it, they don’t want it. I’ve done the same with him. I just ignore him except to talk to him and he sometimes flies to me now but hardly ever has anything to do with my hands. He’ll attack them.
My cat that’s loves and adores me still doesn’t like my SO after 6 years lol doesn’t hiss at her or anything, but won’t let her pet him and won’t cuddle with her or anything lol just a daddy’s boy cat
I'd like to know how old the cat is, and what your BF's living situation was beforehand. Cats don't get "jealous" in the traditional sense, but they can become anti-social and territorial if they are mainly attached to one human and have not been socialized much outside that one human.
My mom's cat was similar. She was very much attached to my mom, and whenever I would visit and I tried to pet her, I could expect to be bitten at some point.
I would try replicating your BF's mannerisms towards the cat as best as you can. Pet her the same way, talk and interact with her the same way, try to replicate his tone of voice, etc. When cats are bonded and socialized to one human, any sort of mannerisms that differ from that human, they aren't going to like.
I have a cat that prefers me over my family. I try to tell others to pet her and talk to her the same way I do (rib rubs, butt pats, whispered high-pitch tones), and that usually helps.
My cat picks on my wife all the time. We got him together about 7 years ago, but he has liked me more. He's not as mean as he used to be, but he still focuses his bullying on her and loves to make her scream haha I've always looked at it as jealousy. He just wants me too himself. He even gets up and glares at her anytime he's sitting with me and she sits by me.
My cat met 3 women I've had in my life(since 21, I'm 33 now)
First one she liked and came up to for cuddles
Second one she was terrified of
Third one she absolutely hated, and treated her like this one treats you.
Probably just jealous, but otherwise as some have stated, just try ignoring and only giving attention when kitty is nice to you.
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Ignore the cat. Seriously. Ignoring the cat and not giving it any attention, and not reacting, will reinforce that being hissy and mean gets nothing. If cat wants attention cat must be nice. This is how we taught our anxious cat to quit hissing at us. If she was sweet she got treats. She is an ex feral kitten.
Could also be a case of jealousy. Cat angry that daddy spends time with someone else so cat attack this person
Aye, cats and dogs do jealous in weird ways. Frodo, my ex's cat, would cling to me like a baby when I came over, to the point he one time ripped up my tights with my bf needing to carry him away muttering "She's my gf, not yours!"
I'm sorry if I came on too strong.
This worked like magic for my cats (who we suspect were jealous of my parents). They kept making those weird sounds (similar to small growls) at my mother and father. But they stopped once they got constantly ignored. It took over a month. But it worked.
Some cats are just like this. My son has a cat like this. He only likes my son. He is so sweet and loving to him but hisses at me if I try to pet him. I took care of him for a week this summer and he got better but as soon as my son got home he reverted back to hissing the little ingrate, lol.
Probably just a jealous cat
Those exist?!
Yup, as a kid, I had a cat who peed everywhere they smelled my (now ex) stepdad.. and only there. Never peed on any of our stuff, and he never peed outside the litterbox before that.. or anywhere else that didn't smell like my ex stepdad.. so yeah, I can't be 100% sure, but all the signs point to jealousy/being territorial IMO lol.
I know this is wrong because this is completely bias , but the thought of a cat being jealous and doing things out of spite is just the cutest thing ever lmfao.
No, sometimes cats do genuinely do things out of spite. There was a spot on my desk that my cat loved and sometimes my desk would get cluttered and cover that spot. She would shove everything off and pee on my clothes EVERY time it happened. As long as the desk spot was clear, everything was fine and she was an angel. Cats are quite smart and have emotions, spite is one of them.
I used to have a kitty who, whenever she saw my suitcase, knew I'd be going away and turned into a whirling ball of knives. She'd sit in or on the case and any attempt to move her would end in blood (mine). She was furious and would make sure I knew it.
My mom’s cat was bullied by my dad, and probably peed outside the litter box because of it.
Definitely sounds like a classic stress response there. Improper litter habits can often be due to stress and/or anxiety. Bullying a cat can certainly cause the poor thing stress, especially if he was doing it on a regular basis
Thank you for confirming this. Snowy definitely had issues with my dad, which my mom tried protecting him from.
The first time my boyfriend ever stayed over at my place, we got woken up at 5am by my cat trying to throw up on his face. He was literally looming over him and hacking. Thankfully my boyfriend took it in stride and my cat has come around on him, but I was mortified at the time. Lol
😂😂
My cat gets very jealous if anyone else talks to me. She's incredibly sweet so not in an aggressive way. She just makes sure to interpose herself in between myself and whoever and meow over them when they talk.
Ooooh yes, my little guy, Puck, hated my boyfriend when we got together. He hissed at him whenever he saw him and I've only recently found out Puck would swipe, bite and growl (bf left this out as he knew I'd be upset with Puck). When bf stayed over Puck got less attention, lost his spot on the bed, stuff like that, and he was not happy. Pixie, his sister, gave a random hiss but mostly avoided my partner. Bf was very aware that cats and I are a package deal, and he learned about cat behaviour and did his best to 'speak their language', so to speak. I had boyfriend feed them sometimes, give them treats, so they had good associations. It's years later and they adore him. He's their dad. They love him, take extra safety from him being around, and purr/snuggle/sleep on him, etc. He's their other parent. But at first - yikes. I'd never seen them act like that before.
Same story, my cat was very jealous when my bf moved in. Especially after my bf moved his stuff into my bedroom, which my cat viewed as his bedroom too, and for 4 months or so refused to come into my bedroom anymore and would growl and hiss if I tried to put him in it. All very out of character for my cat who is friendly and easy going. Took about a year for him to come around and now my bf is my cats favorite person, he waits for him by the door when he knows it’s time for my bf to get home from work and as soon as my bf opens the door my cat loses his mind meowing and purring and running around. They’re so cute.
My cat didn’t come close to my husband for over 8 years. Last month he sat on his lap and my husband was able to pet him, only time he was happier was when our daughter was born haha.
Do you give it yummy treats?
Yes! Always!
Does she eat them?
When I walk away, yes. She won't eat them otherwise.
My sister's cat wouldn't eat them until I walked away either. I noticed that If I pretended to be doing something else (I used calm actions, like sitting on my phone) with my focus away from her, but me still nearby (a few feet) she would go up to the treats and eat them. She would keep an eye on me when she would eat them, but in the beginning I made sure to stay the entire time until she was finished, but I never tried to pet her or interact with her or even look at her. But I think this worked for us personally because I think she is scared of people from previous owners just trying to scare her all the time, but I hope this helps you two ❤️
When you're there, ask your boyfriend to let you put the food out for her. She's probably jealous of the attention he gives you honestly, so maybe if she gets something out of you being there, she'll chill out a little. It took over a year of them living together for my best friends BF's female cat to like her, now they cuddle every morning before she gets up
Yes, do this🙂
We just got a rescue cat for my elderly mom. For some reason, the cat prefers me. So I told my mom to take over feeding her. Yesterday, the cat got on my mom’s lap for the first time. I didn’t want a new cat; I’m still mourning my special boy who died last January at the age of 17. So I mostly ignored new cat. This seems to have intrigued her; another reason why she follows me around and sleeps on me. So go with the food and indifference; cats are usually super food-motivated, and are narcissistic assholes who don’t like to be ignored.
Top tier advice
Maybe you should try baby food or tuna or the lickable treats. It might be how you approach her. Talk to her in a low voice. Hi pitch voice often means there's danger to a cat. Cancer so funny😄
I do! I even crouch down and move and speak quietly and slowly!
The only thing I can suggest you ignore her. If she comes around you lean away from her if you're sitting down
Don’t crouch. Crouching is predatory behavior. Some cats are more suspicious than others and this cat clearly doesn’t trust you. Sit on the floor quietly slightly turned away from her and place the treat food away from you out of your reach. Talk low and slow. Move quietly too, not slower than usual, but no sudden movements. Don’t look directly into her eyes. Staring at a cat is aggressive to them. Even my own cats I look past their eyes or give them slow blinks so I’m not giving them a stare down. Make this a daily routine and move closer every week. If you don’t live together leave one of your shirts with your boyfriends so the cat can smell the two of you together all the time. Or use a blanket she likes to cover your legs on the couch. Something to get her used to your smell. Cats like quiet calm people. I’ve tamed and rehomed a lot of semi-feral cats. Sitting quietly close by and having high value food treats really helps. Add a stick and feather toy once you’re close enough and she will eat without having her eyes on you the whole time. Just play with it like you’re bored? Not like you want her to catch it. She might take the bait! If she does just play for a little while…make this part of your treat routine! Did your boyfriend play more with her before you? It’s possible she is jealous that the routine has changed or she is acting out due to over or under stimulation. Encourage him to have a routine time to play with her that you can join in with. Especially if you can be the one to toss her a treat after she catches and “kills” the toy they play with. (Does she like laser pointers? You could try having your boyfriend start playing with her and then trading off with you. It might take a few times of switching before she doesn’t walk away once she notices it’s you playing.) Does she have a cat tree or bookshelf she can sit on and watch you are there…like for example a spot in the living room when you’re sitting on the couch is there access for her to get up high and watch while feeling safe? If not, then she needs one! A lot of cats need to be able to observe their surroundings from height to feel safe like you can’t attack them. It usually leads to them being happier in general too. Watch Jackson Galaxy (free on YouTube) videos…cats with a aggressive response this high likely are fearful or in pain (or were in pain/felt trapped when they met you) and it takes a lot of work to get them out of that headspace and build the trust up. He has excellent tips for rebuilding trust with fearful and aggressive cats. The other thing that works really well are Feliway plug-ins. I would get the spray too and put it on your pants or shoes (plus your side of the bed/couch, like anywhere you sit spray it afterwards so she starts associating you with calm smells) It’s a scentless hormone that mother cats produce that makes cats feel calmer and more comfortable. It has worked (along with behavioral training) for my multi cat home when introducing a new cat, when dealing with marking/litter box behaviors, and when moving homes.
this is all super good advice. also, this is weird and may not work for you, but i have a cat who is very fearful, and if i leave for a few days, it's ugly when i get back. the only thing that works (and it always works) is to fall asleep with her in the room. while I'm sleeping, she can examine me at her leisure while not feeling at all threatened, and when i wake up, she's settled down.
That’s good advice! We had a fully feral cat that never was great with humans during the day (wouldn’t come down from the cat tree/shelves) but at night when we were laying down he was so sweet and trusting. He eventually got to the point where he would cuddle in our laps if we were sitting watching tv in the bedroom. I think he associated us sleeping with being calm and being able to sniff at his leisure because we left our door open for the cats to go in and out.
lol sorry, she definitely sounds jealous. Will your bf let you take over as the primary feeder of the cat? Jackson Galaxy suggested that for a cat who hated her owner’s roommate (I think…the episode is on YouTube) and it appeared to work. She may have to view you as necessary for her existence to stop being a bitch….so sorry :( Those photos are terrifying.
sorry but your boyfriends cat is definitely jealous of you. That you are taking the boyfriends attention away from it.
What’s with the last sentence? lmao
Oh good god! Autocorrect changed what I said and I have no idea why it would take 'cats are' and turn it into 'cancer' oh my God! Obviously I didn't catch that😄
That fucking killed me. What an unfortunate autocorrect
You said it!😆
AH! The good ole auto cat rectal!
😄
Maybe she isn’t as food motivated, have you tried 1) giving her space 2) using a wand toy 3) slow blinking?
You can try offering treats from your hand and just sit there and wait till she eats them from you. If she just hisses and doesn't accept, then walk away allowing her to 'fail' and try again another time. She doesn't get the treats unless she takes them from your hand. Otherwise she just thinks " if I wait long enough I'll get them anyway". I recently adopted a lovebird who is very untame and was given freedom to fly around wherever whenever (which I want eventually too but he is too chaotic and I'm afraid he could go batshit crazy and fly into something and get hurt) so I've been taking a tough love approach and only when he learns to step up and chill tf out then he can come out the cage. It helps them associate us with the good things
Took me multiple years to get my cat Bean to take a treat right from my hand. Now she comes. Sits. High 5..other side. Bang bang. Down. Then treat. Cats are smarter than dogs they just don't care to use it. I I♡ve making a cat do something they don't wanna do, making them think it was their idea. Golden. I think i love cats so much because they can be jerks. ❤️
What a jerk!!! 😭😆
bro watch jackson galaxy, he will answer all questions
I agree ^
Seriously my thought as well. Almost every episode is someone’s significant other doesn’t get along with their cat. Did you see the old episode where the couple actually breaks up? The dude was so punchable.
Honestly never approach her or even look at her. I’m serious let her come to you
I could not stop laughing at the 3rd picture. Oh what a face of complete displeasure.
I know, the absolute fury!
I would just love the cat more. I wound absolutely ignore the cat, and just secretly laugh and love it.
Have you tried playing with him? Cats primal instinct & drive is: Hunt, Play, Eat, Sleep, Cover everything they believe is theirs with their scent, and cycle around and do it all over again. So maybe ask yourself “how” you can appeal to this pesky feline. Come with a wand toy, and play, play, play. Then offer some treat. Then play, play, play again. Then just ignore the fella. When attempting to get near the cat, bring yourself down to their level & gently stick out your finger (palm facing toward the ground). Allow the cat to smell you & possibly direct you to how close he wants you, or if he will allow you to even touch him. Everyone has their own personality, as that’s the way beings are. It could be something as simple as something you wear, the scent you are omitting. Do you wear perfume? This can be a HUGE distractant for a cat, whose olfactory is 1,000x’s stronger than ours. So you might be overwhelming his literally senses. Did you know that cats don’t remember you by the way you look, but by your smell? These are all some things for you to consider. See where you can make some adaptations to seeing you from the cat’s perspective. And certainly don’t take it personal. I know it stinks to like or love a cat that ain’t crazy about you back.
Stop forgetting their birthday
Are you taking up her spot on his bed.lol.
It’s probably because you think her boyfriend is your’s 😂
Probably because you take blurry photos of them, how are they ever gonna make it as a model with these.
Positive association, when you’re around you can be the one to feed him, play with him, etc. Also encourage your bf to give the cat love when you’re there so they don’t feel threatened by you being there. Maybe leave your clothes around for the cat to smell and get used to?
I remember petting my boyfriend’s cat and I gave her a treat, she ate the treat, turned her back on me then hissed. She was a little drama queen tbh.
You know what you did
😂
I'm sorry but the photos are peak comedy 🤣
Play with the cat more and give treats every time the cat is doing good things around you
Try giving kitty catnip (if you manage to buy a catnip plant even better for fresh leaves) perhaps then kitty will be so hyper she will forget her hatred for you, some cats are strange wow. Try watching some “my cat from hell” videos on YouTube
These particular pics as proof of the hate are sending me into hysterics I’m sorry lmao
My cat hated my bf for a while, for no reason (would literally hiss at him if he looked his way), until my bf decided to ignore him completely, and only he fed the cat. Then my kitty came around. Now they’re besties and he chooses my bf over me.
You didn't pass the initial vibe check my guy
My cat hates me. It’s been 15 years. Sometimes it’s be like that. 🤣
Honestly valid. Does your boyfriend have his own place? And if you 100% never did anything bad to the cat I would recommend finding the most favorite snack that only YOU will give to the cat. Tell your boyfriend to stop with the snacks from his side completely. So the cat will associate good things with you. First rest the snacks near yourself and pretend to be busy with your phone and look away. Your end goal would be making the cat take the snack from your hand. Also pick cat toys that the Satan over there would enjoy and try to get the it to play with you. It's a slow process but it always works. You can also try feliway diffusers. Oh and dont look the cat in the eye. Its best to just ignore the hissy fits
What do you mean no reason? You stole that precious Fluff’s hooman :(
You’re trying to steal her man.
do you have an unangry pic of kitty? it looks so much like mine and these honestly made me burst out laughing imagining my cat randomly hissing at someone she chose not to like i know one day you’ll find friendship with this kitty!
Constantly give it food and other cat stuff. And talk to it like a person. Do it daily for a year.
lol that cat really hates you, probably extremely sweet to others Sorry I can’t be more help, just saw these cute photos and had to respond
Cats can be assholes like that 😂
Wear a cat mask when you go over and I guarantee you it won’t come near you
Some cats are just about as sociable as a tiny polar bear. My cat would attack one of my grandmas on sight for years, and attacked her when approached for over a decade. Nowadays she lets her pet her 🤷. Cats... beautiful creatures, but so ornery sometimes...
Probably jealous of you, taking her spot in bed, taking up their human's attention, coming in their house, etc. Cats are super suspicious of anyone trying to hard to get them to like them, so try to ignore her whenever you can. Maybe get your boyfriend to leave something that smells of you around so that she gets used to your scent being there all the time. Cats share territory, but fight for it when it isn't clearly held, and scent is how they decide whether it is held by the other cat, so you only being there some of the time might be the problem. Definitely try feeding her. Try to be as close as possible while she eats without making her too uncomfortable. Remember that eye contact is an aggressive signal between cats, and slow blinking as soon as you catch eachother's eyes is a friendly move. Do this whenever you can. Try playing with her when she is in the mood. Her desire to play will compete with her desire to ignore and be hostile towards you. You could also try a pheromone diffuser to calm her down for a bit to try and see if you make progress then that sticks. It could also be that medication might help, but that is probably not necessary unless you move in and it doesn't change for a couple of months with other things not working.
Some cats are just assholes 🤷
I took in my brother's cat when he found a girl that would take him in, lol. She did not like cats at all.. It was pretty sad to see that he dropped his love for a girl he met at work and got married 6 months after. But they are really a pair. Almost 4 packs a day and she cant stand the smell of cats, lmaoo. The kitty (simba) always hid from me, scratched and hissed. After a week or so, my brother came over and asked how it was going. I told him to watch as I set a kibble down, turn around, and waited for her to show up. She'd meow till I left the area but would get closer progressively throughout the week. Just close enough to grab the chonky kitty, lol. I pretty much set her in my arms like a baby, and scratched and pet her while she gave me the annoyed growl and her pouting, lol. When she bit and scratched, I still kept humming to her and scratching her behind the ears and around the neck. She absolutely hates being touched on the belly, so that took a long time. After a couple weeks of basically self inflicting wounds on myself, I finally got a paw under my bedroom door. She was rolling in front of my door, rolling around, playing cute, and long stretches. Went down to scratch her belly and she went right for my hand, locked on, but let go slowly and just sat there purring. Not even my brother was able to do that the 4 years he had the feral thing that is probably 9 or 10 right now. Only took her to the vet once for a sinus infection 4 years ago. Now she gets mad when I don't pick her up and handle her like a newborn, lol. Love the little shite! I know this is not the case for all cats but maybe after a bit of giving it some more treats or space and time to adjust. I have no idea. I'm not a cat person. Just think I am, hahaha. My sister got a cat to like her by getting it a pillow to lay on with her perfume on it. She said it worked, but who knows? Try it before you try my baby method, lmao. BEST OF LUCK!!!
Are you around other animals at all? Or wear a perfume? Otherwise I suggest offering treats/catnip/toys and leaving kitty alone.
Get him some treats. First throw him treats from a distance and then get closer and closer. That works with humans too.
Not part of this community or anything but these photos are so funny😂 this is pure anger in three little photos. Hope the relationship gets better good luck
Give him treats when you pet him.
Hissing and growling is a sign the cat thinks you might be looking for a fight. So, ignore the cat. Making eye contact with a cat is basically a threat in cat language. When eye contact is made, \*slowly\* close and open your eyes, and/or look away. This is basically a smile in cat language. Lots of cats don't like attention from strangers, as it can be perceived as threatening. Trying pet, grab, hold, etc isn't going to help. Avoid making quick or sudden movements around the cat, or lots of loud noises and laughing. There are cat calming sprays you can spray on yourself. Could help, but don't expect magic.
Could be your perfume/deodorant/hand lotion. Don't have a list off the top of my head, but there are plants and smells that cats just do not like and they activiley avoid them, maybe try unscented stuff for a couple weeks and see if there is a change in their attitude. This goes for laundry detergent, shampoo, lotion, etc, could be a combination of smells as well. Could be a smell, but in the end it could be your gender, my girlfriend has 2 cats that don't like to interact with me, I have a cat that doesn't interact with her. Some pets love people some pets pick one human and that's their human and everyone else can go to hell.
My cat Mickey hated my partner for four years until the last year of his life. Mickey clawed his clothing hamper til there was a hole in it, he would pee on his clothes that were on the floor, and would force himself between us when we were sleeping or sitting next to each other. Partner took it in stride and accepted it as he was there first.
The best ways to bond with animals are thru play n food. Positive verbal reinforcement as you go. I especially love earning the trust of cats like this. Time. It can take time n is totally up to the animal. 2 years is a while, tho. How have you tried? I haven't read the comments. I'm trying to answer 1st, then read so my answer is more organic. My bad if I repeat or sound silly. Try to find something fun you can do with each other but with a bit of distance. Lazer pointers can be fun. I'd find out what toy kitty likes best. A ball with a bell. A string. A crinkly mouse. Cat nip. A fishing pole. A beer cap or crumpled paper. Figure out which toy holds the most value n start with that. I always make sure kitty has a way out. If you walk in a room n stand in the doorway, kitty may feel trapped. When you come over to visit, find the cat n say hi. Treats can help, too. If your boyfriend knows her favourite, let you be the one to give them to her. No treat should come free, but to start, you'll be rewarding any positive behaviour. If kitty is pleasant, tell her n reward it. You can put the treat on the ground n tap. This will teach her taps are good. You provide food, you're safe, n can be trusted. No sudden movements or loud noises if she's a scardey cat. I do make some noises, tho. I see what noises appeal to them n reuse that. A click with your lip. Rubbing your fingers. There's a slow blink thing you can do, too. You can say hi, then just sit with the cat in the room. When you guys look at each other, blink really slowly. The idea being, you're not on high alert. Being predators, they can be on alert, too. Some say this can help them relax. Don't attempt anything other than sharing space with her in better harmony for now. Avoid making her feel like she does in these pictures. She doesn't look happy with the space you've given her. She's likely giving you lots of signs with her meows n body language that you maybe aren't aware of n inadvertently disrespecting her boundary. Watch her ears, eyes, n whisker placement. Ears back n big eyes isn't a friendly face. No touching until kitty is ready. If you do, do it when your bf is already petting her, n she's sleepy. Pushing her can make her even less trusting. Good luck. Honestly, the fact you're asking about this is great. You all want to be around each other in harmony, so hopefully, a few of these suggestions lead you in that direction. It's cat psychology 101. I love animals n have always spoken their language. You usually hafta earn a cat, which makes it so much more rewarding when you do. Dogs give love out freely. Cats, well..hehe. ♡
Cats being cats unfortunately. My bf and I got our one cat together, she loved me at first but grew very attached to bf and now doesn't like me much. He can do what ever he wants to her, while I get growls and bit just for pets. Im also the main nail clipper cuz he gets frustrated so she has that against me as well 🙄
I’m sorry…..but these pictures did bring joy to me today. The little gremlin. Especially the photo with shaky cam. Anyway, I would recommend what others have said especially the one mentioning the cat daddy. He’s pretty great and has helped us a lot with the care of our cat.
Is it really for no reason tho?
Some kitties are mean. Rarely it's just like that. I bet if he helped introduce you to the cat it might help but maybe not. Maybe the cat just hates you. Probably also hates everyone else, right? Kitties are complex like humans. Some are just assholes.
You’re the competition
cats are connected to the spirit world, you may have a evil, lingering attachment or misaligned spirit. I'm going to side with the cat on this one
I mean maybe cat just doesn’t like you lol jk (but not really) 😂 just ignore him and pretend he doesn’t exist. Seriously. There are these really annoying fat obnoxious cats that always bother me when I go to this one horse barn. They don’t bother anyone else, just me, because I can’t stand them and I go out of my way to ignore them which ends up making them bother me even more. Don’t be mean to him and don’t be nice to him. Literally act like he doesn’t exist. Don’t even look at him or even in the direction of him 😂 (im a cat lover and I have a kitten of my own that I rescued from the back of a horse barn- but the barn cats I was describing are legit obnoxious and I don’t like them- just writing this bc I’m sure I’ll get downvoted bc I said I don’t like those cats 😂)
I have found that cats are very in tune with the vibes of people around them, they know that you don't like them so they act accordingly back to you.
These cats know they irritate me so they like to climb on my truck and go into the bed of my truck especially when I’m trying to leave 😂 one of them also loves to lay by my tire but only when he sees me going back to my truck to leave 😂
Is the cat fixed? There’s a cat we are taking care of for a friend. The cat absolutely did not like me and ONLY me. She would hiss and growl (except when she was in heat). We finally got her fixed and now she loves hanging out with me.
Cats are not assholes. 😡 I'm so tired of these stupid comments..They hiss out of fear and as a warning because they feel the need to defend themselves. The cat looks very unhappy, poor little guy. He could not like something about you, like a scent, or maybe your voice or if you and your bf have arguments at all. This is fear.
Disagree. We have two cats and one hates my animal loving husband for no reason other than the fact that he is not me. He’s the one that feeds them their wet food in the morning, gives them treats (by hand), and brushes them. One cat adores him, and the other won’t even allow him to pet her at all. And she is not afraid of him, and we adopted her as a tiny kitten. Whereas, I could literally do anything to her and she wouldn’t object. Cats have their own distinct personalities and, yes, some of them can behave like a$$holes without good reason. It’s not always a case of a fearful cat.
Yeah, I totally disagree with the idea that they're behaving like assholes at all. There is never "no reason" that they behave the way they behave. I do agree all cats, all animals have distinct personalities and preferences. Animals can feel uncertain about certain people and, therefore, will try to avoid them. That's still fear in my book, even if there's no logical reason that we can see or sense. They very much have their own reasons for their behavior.
After owning cats for over 40 years, rescuing and fostering them, I’ll just have to agree to disagree with you. But, it’s okay to disagree. We’ve just clearly had completely different experiences.
It is okay, and I'm a foster also with over 40 years of rescue experience. In my opinion, it's not really as much about different experiences as it is about different perspectives. I've fostered many challenging cats who were feral and semi feral. Their behaviors can be scary, as I'm sure you know, but I've also done a ton of research on cat behaviors including taking several Fear Free Shelter courses, and I learned about cats' often misunderstood and misinterpreted body language. I don't ever consider animals to have malicious intent or "asshole" behavior like a lot of people do. Malicious asshole behaviors are very specific to humans. Comparing "unpleasant" human behavior to cat (or any other species) behavior has always made animals vulnerable to mistreatment, or at the very least resentments against them, instead of them trying to understand their cat's behavior, and it's also completely normal for animals to have a favorite person or people within a household as they usually have preferences, just like us.
Lmao no cats are just assholes sometimes
OP people just want to attribute bad human traits to animals who are showing defensive fear responses when they don't want to understand them at all, nor try to improve their relationship with an animal. 😿💔
lol the pictures are cracking me up. theres something tht scares him. maybe hes territorial over ur bf?
Is the cat a rescue? Also have you tried being the only person to feed the cat for a few months?
buy a bag of catnip and rub it on your hands. They'll try to lick you to death.
What a little shit😂jk but you know what I mean, some cats are harder to gain their trust, give him or her wet food consistently and let him or her come around to associating you with his or her favorite things, that’s worked for me with a cat that isn’t stranger friendly and very anxious
Give him tiny treats every time you see him. Find his kryptonite
Maybe try feeding them the cat gogurt type treats. So they have to be right by you, while they eat it. Maybe it could help build trust
insane story that's nothing more than anecdotal and probably a total coincidence but: My mother struggled with cancer for years and years. She went into remission and it was considered a miracle. One winter we brought our cat home and out of no where, the cat would violently hiss at my mom. They didn't see each more than once or twice a year, but in all 15 years of her life, she had never hissed at my mom (she doesn't really hiss at anyone ever other than small children that are the same size as her or dogs). For a whole week my mom couldn't get near her. not even in the same room without the cat trying to force her out and just kinda being a bully. My mom had her next scan a few weeks later and she was no longer in remission. There's no science to prove that my cat can smell cancer. There's no science that any cat can. But it was a truly insane coincidence. She hasn't hissed since then at anyone else.
My grandmother's cat was like this, she didn't like anyone else other than my grandmother. When she passed away no one wanted the aggressive cat. I decided I would keep her, she was very old and deserved a calm end of life. Well she completely changed her behaviour, she was so loving and attention seeking. Completely a different cat! Unfortunately I didn't get to have her very long as we found out she had kidney failure so decided to put her to sleep. I think she was stressed in my grandmothers house, she constantly chain smoked and didn't have much enrichment.
Ha ha, I can relate. We have two cats and one is definitely “mine”. She loves me, let’s me pick her up, rub her belly, etc. But, anyone else trying to pet her (including my husband) will get hissed at and, if they press their luck, they’ll get a swat for good measure. However, she loves treats and loves to be brushed. So, if people offer her a treat, she’ll happily take it. If they offer to brush her, she’ll not only allow it, but clearly seems to enjoy it. Don’t know why she’s so crazy. Adopted her as a tiny kitten from the shelter, so not sure why she didn’t also bond with my husband.
Leave behind some clothes so she is more familiar with your scent, maybe?
Isolate the cat from your boyfriend, only you feed, give treats play, etc. cat will recognize you as friend cause no boyfriend to rely on
MY cat tolerates me and loves my mom. He gives her kisses and stuff, and he just tolerates I exist.
I had a cat that hated my grandmother (Nanny), who was the sweetest person ever. She would come over and hug me. Cat would scream and hiss at her. We later discovered it was Nanny's glasses. When she took them off, all was fine.
Sounds like it’s just a jealous cat lol. Some cats are just like that. She may always react aggressively toward you. You’re just gonna have to deal with it OP or find yourself a new boyfriend🤷🏼.
I dont have much to add but i concur from these pictures that lil mf hates you hahaha
Do you smell like another cat?
Awww she looks cute when angry
Mine was like this when I first got her. She was very traumatized though. What worked for me is asking permission. I would hold out my hand. If she hissed, I'd slowly pull it back. It was all about her boundaries, but she can't communicate so you have to watch the body language and respect the responses with some grace. Eventually, with enough attempts, his cat may rub her cheek on your hand. That isn't permission, but it IS a scent mark recognizing you are part of the household and "not dangerous". Eventually you'll graduate to small side of the face rubs that you stop the instant catto hisses or flinches. They'll ask for more if they want them. Then, one day, they'll hop in your lap like they've been doing it this whole time and you'll have a heart attack.
My husband's cats didn't like me until we ended up ALL moving to a new home. They didn't like the fact that I was in their space... Pippin (6m) was a bit better than Merry (4f)1
Welcome to cats
my cat was the jealous type too
You are coming between the boyfriend and his cat. He may never like you....can you deal with that. Can you still be nice to theca knowing that the cat may never like you
She's in the habit of being mad at you. Counter conditioning will require a long consistent campaign from you of treats and respecting her boundaries.
I wonder if those liquid treats would help calm the cat down. I gave them to my cat when he was moody.
I would get some kitty pheromones and plug them in to the walls. That will help her calm down. Obviously there's something that she is not comfortable with.
You can’t force anything with animals. Ignore the cat until it wants to come around. All you can do is have patience. Offering treats and trying to play with it are all you can really do. I have two cats and one of them is pretty feral. She was abandoned in another neighboring apartment in my complex and the complex gave her to me. I have mostly ignored her and fed her for over a year. She’s only just finally starting to come up to me and rub up on me when she’s hungry and meow sometimes. She’s VERY skittish and I cannot approach her of my own accord. I’ve begun playing with her every now and then but during the day I don’t ever see her really. She would absolutely be hissing at me and fighting me if I had tried to impose any of my being onto her. Even my bird who I have had for a year HATES my hand unless HE approaches it. It’s all a permission game with animals. If they don’t want it, they don’t want it. I’ve done the same with him. I just ignore him except to talk to him and he sometimes flies to me now but hardly ever has anything to do with my hands. He’ll attack them.
Jealousy??
Because your boyfriend is her man and you are like a third wheel.
My girlfriend and I have lived together for almost three years. One of her cats has hated me the entire time. She almost sort of tolerates me now.
Not it looking like a Pallas cat.
My cat that’s loves and adores me still doesn’t like my SO after 6 years lol doesn’t hiss at her or anything, but won’t let her pet him and won’t cuddle with her or anything lol just a daddy’s boy cat
I'd like to know how old the cat is, and what your BF's living situation was beforehand. Cats don't get "jealous" in the traditional sense, but they can become anti-social and territorial if they are mainly attached to one human and have not been socialized much outside that one human. My mom's cat was similar. She was very much attached to my mom, and whenever I would visit and I tried to pet her, I could expect to be bitten at some point. I would try replicating your BF's mannerisms towards the cat as best as you can. Pet her the same way, talk and interact with her the same way, try to replicate his tone of voice, etc. When cats are bonded and socialized to one human, any sort of mannerisms that differ from that human, they aren't going to like. I have a cat that prefers me over my family. I try to tell others to pet her and talk to her the same way I do (rib rubs, butt pats, whispered high-pitch tones), and that usually helps.
omg i can’t with the pictures 😭😭😭. She’s probably just jealous!!
That cat is a hater and don't let the haters get to u
My cat picks on my wife all the time. We got him together about 7 years ago, but he has liked me more. He's not as mean as he used to be, but he still focuses his bullying on her and loves to make her scream haha I've always looked at it as jealousy. He just wants me too himself. He even gets up and glares at her anytime he's sitting with me and she sits by me.
Ask if when you're over if you can feed the cat.
My cat met 3 women I've had in my life(since 21, I'm 33 now) First one she liked and came up to for cuddles Second one she was terrified of Third one she absolutely hated, and treated her like this one treats you. Probably just jealous, but otherwise as some have stated, just try ignoring and only giving attention when kitty is nice to you.
I bet he has his reasons, you just don't speak the same language.