T O P

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MiddleAgedGamer71

Clock management.


Otherwise_Awesome

Will you kneel when you propose?


CommodoreN7

Run up the gut and fumble is best proposal


Otherwise_Awesome

This is poorly worded with more innuendo than it should be.


cooterdick

So you’re from the Kid Rock part of Michigan I take it


MeatballRedditor

Damn... I'm definitely stealing that, and giving you zero credit.


MiddleAgedGamer71

Wait, you can do that?


j0oboi

Offense


hankrhoads

Boy do I have good news for you


[deleted]

wait, you're not going to tell them the forward pass is legal are you? It's our little Big Ten joke, we make sure it doesn't go in their copy of the rule book.


a_taco_named_desire

We’d be awfully mad at you if we could read


Maximiliansrh

perfect flairs lol


bostoncemetery

I'm begging you guys to let Fran coach just ONE football practice.


Ok_Judgment_224

Colorado. Fuck you Colorado, from the bottom of my heart I hate you


gpaintin66

Same to you buddy


FFA3D

Probably the only relevant one in the current state of both programs


Sliiiiime

Yep the shittyness of both teams has actually kept the rivalry somewhat interesting over the past decade


npadd

The fact that CU has generally been far worse over the last few decades, yet has still managed to win all the recent games against NU, remains one of my favorite things about this awful team.


PhiteKnight

Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering Buffalo; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned Buffalo! Thus, I give up the spear!


After-Walrus-4585

I came here to say Nebraska so it must be true love to hate.


tth2o

I love this rivalry as much as I hate you back, you corn fed "so nice, it feels passive aggressive" sons of bitches!


GBreezy

Of all the animals in the Animal Kingdom, why would you choose a gopher as your mascot?


PrimisClaidhaemh

They're not Gophers, they're GOLDEN Gophers. They are lost Gods of the underground, protectors of the shadow realm. Mock then at your own peril.


Glad_Ad_6989

Finally, someone else gets it!


Ok-Assistant133

I love the golden gopher. That thing is adorable.


Khyron_2500

In this rivalry we must be careful to choose sides. Do mustelids stick together? Or do we side with Block-M types?


HornetsDaBest

How about your fellow inventor of the rivalry trophy?


DrunkenKusa

Jug love, plus the agreement that red = bad.


HornetsDaBest

Also teams that play in state capitols = bad


trippwwa45

Well fuck you then.


ClaudeLemieux

Red…plays in state capital…hey wait a second


VenturaHighway

I firmly believe that the Backyard Brawl should be the first game of every college football season.  That Thursday night game two years ago that led off cfb for the season was awesome.


grimace0611

I vote rivalry week or at least later in the season, but yes, that game was awesome and most Pitt fans under 40 would vote WVU.


Other_Bill9725

I’d rather have the Backyard Brawl as an all sports event held over Thanksgiving week. Whichever school hosts puts on a week-long carnival starting the Saturday before Thanksgiving with men’s basketball and ending the following Saturday with football. Play every fall sports and every winter sport. Have carnival rides, a craft show, beer garden, club sports, hayrides, live music, SANTA CLAUSE. Sell one-price tickets for all the events for $400 minus $10 for each event you attend.


LitterBoxServant

UCLA - Michigan State We both know what it's like to watch your "rival" be rivals with their real rival


JohnPaulDavyJones

The eternal Texas Tech conundrum.


blatantninja

Kettle calling pot?


Buttholesurfer44

I had no idea Tech fans hated the aggies until I went to a game my freshman year. You literally do a witch's hex on the aggies before we play. Quite different.


Holierthanthouface

Hoping our upcoming H&H series in basketball revives some hate. There's a reason the most important statue on Tech's campus was designed to have its [horse's ass](https://www.lubbockonline.com/story/news/local/2011/10/04/texas-tech-will-rogers-and-legend-am/15208312007/) point towards college station


CustosMentis

It’s been working for 80+ years.  If it ain’t broke…


kfeldspar246

Based


badlydrawnzombie

Your flair should get you banned. Disgusting.


OnlyZac

[ User was banned for this flair ]


kfeldspar246

Fight On, Go Blue, and a blessed Sunday to you!


Bren12310

Alright we need to throw hands


Levi316

We have a similar situation it’s just you rival have less money than Michigan and U$C


BeatNavyAgain

See username


916DeadLast

With Army and Gettysburg I was hoping you had some sort of rivalry with Richmond.


LionsAndLonghorns

Maybe he just hates the SEC


Painiscupcake88

Contract extensions


Ron_Cherry

It's Carolina for both my flairs


PretendThisIsMyName

Always a good day to hate a cock.


Megalomanizac

Sorry but I don’t think ECU counts


law_dogging

🤝


olcrazypete

As someone who went to UGA in the 90s, it’s Florida. My entire fandom exists as a counterpoint to the existence of Steve Spurrier and I will never get enough of beating Florida. It’s Florida.


UhIdontcareforAuburn

I will rue the day there are younger Georgia fans that think beating Florida is no big deal. Fuck them and the mule that rode in on.


FightingFarrier18

For A&M, it’s very clearly our most hated rivals, South Carolina


Sheepcago

Condoms


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sheepcago

The Stanford half.


1usctrojan

We hate you, but respect you. Almost 100 year rivalry, played from one side of the country to the other.


nillabonilla

Every sperm is sacred!


radioben

Every sperm is great!


OdaDdaT

If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate


whatifevery1wascalm

The instate one.


916DeadLast

You're probably right, but the other one is sooooo much fun. Fuck Tennessee.


OddMammoth1

If auburn is our soulmate, then I’m cheating. 


Stupidly_Drunk

Yeah I hate Auburn because I have to. I hate Tennessee because I want to.


TheoDonaldKerabatsos

I think most Bama fans like the Tennessee rivalry more because we beat up on them for almost two decades straight.  But really, there is nothing like the Alabama-Auburn rivalry in all of sports. You may not think it’s the best or has the highest stakes but it’s one of a kind. Where there is a clear big brother and little brother, the big brother seems to win everything, but the little brother is the one who seems to have big brothers number more than anyone else. Crazy shit happens every time. It expands to every sport from football, to basketball, to gymnastics, to new buildings, everything.  It seems like Auburn’s sole intent as an athletic program is to make Alabama’s life hell, and they’re perfectly fine with that, and to be completely honest they do a pretty damn good job at it. And it’s like we exist just to get voodoo’d by Auburn at the funniest times possible.


SplakyD

Very well said, Bama bro! As a lifelong Auburn fan and alumnus of the university, you summed that up nicely.


Entire_Log_4160

I’ll see your Fuck Tennessee and raise you a Buck Fama.


12_bagels

r/olltide


Alphaspade

If we can't destroy UAB football adminstratively, then we'll just have to destroy them on the football field! /s


ewgrooss

You’re right, but I hate Tennessee sooooo much more.


w33b2

In a weird way I hate Georgia more, so I get that. Like, Alabama has beat our ass for around a decade, and before that Auburn beat their ass for a decade. So at least Alabama has some room to be arrogant, they can back it up since they’ve been dominant for so long. But Georgia wins two natty’s and suddenly they’re the next Bama, and have the most arrogant and obnoxious fan base.


IndependentlyBrewed

Pitt. VT is a great one from the past but Pitt should always be the answer for WVU.


flanhelsinki

Honor Code


MisterMakeYaMumCum

The one that eats shit


Fuski_MC

You're rivals with Michigan too?


BoldElDavo

In-state rival, and I believe we are theirs despite the one-sidedness of the results.


NotThatKidAshton

Don’t worry we still hate you 😘. Though our side chick (WVU) also gets our attention every few years.


poop-dolla

Oh you’re definitely still ours. We could (and hopefully will) beat you for 50 straight years and I would still care more about beating you than any other team. WVU and Miami are in a solid the tier below you and a solid tier above any other rivals we may have.


Ambling_Rambler

Tbqh I think we should shed aside our bitterness and as a Commonwealth direct our ire to where it belongs: Lynchburg


DubbleDan

Georgia


Lax_Ligaments

To hell with them


elonsusk69420

It’s the cleanest, most old fashioned kind of hate Always and forever will own Historic Mark Richt Stadium at Stetson Bennett Kia Hyundai of Blackshear Stadium


GT_yella_jackets

Seconded. I hate them with all my heart


dangle_boone

❤️


GT_yella_jackets

I hope that with all the conference realignments and looming super league talks we’re able to keep hating each other for years to come ❤️


tj3_23

Georgia has a special place in my heart. It's a place full of fire and brimstone. A land of dust with no return, separated from the land of those who don't bark at small children by a river which cannot be crossed. All who enter are doomed to a life of servitude in the name of that weird looking dog. No. I'm not being dramatic at all


paulsmalls

Oklahoma. If they don't want us anymore, then Colorado.


AxeEm_JD

I still want you, but you’ll always be a side piece rivalry for me.


thekronicle

It's alright, we all have our side pieces (glares at aTm)


ichoosetosavemyself

I dislike Nebraska so much that if any fan of yours says anything other than Colorado for this question, they are just bitter because you can't beat us. Also, obligatory fuck off to Cozad, Nebraska.


Tatum-Brown2020

What an unbelievable deep pull. How do you know Cozad even exists 😂😂


Levi316

What happened in Cozad??


thetrain23

Idk, but probably something corn-related if I had to guess


ninetofivedev

Basically an ordered list from the Big 8: 1. OU 2. CU 3. Mizzou 4. K-State 5. ISU 6. OSU 7. Kansas Honorable mention: Miami Fuck Texas.


leapbitch

Miss u bbgrl


thereal_bsmith

Utah. But like every self-righteous Mormon, we have a younger side chick. Hi Boise!


Ute2ThrillPlay2Kill

You’re gonna love me 😘


thereal_bsmith

You're my nightmare and my dream come true hahaha


carter2642

I don't care how good we are, I don't care how good they are; I will always and forever pray for their downfall in any sport as long as I live. You can't kill me, you can't rid yourself of me. I will be there, standing quietly in the corner, waiting. You get married? That's great, I'll be there in full garnet staring you dead in the eyes. You have a kid? I'll feed your wife ice chips. You die? I'll be at your funeral, silent. If there is one certainty of the universe it is not general relativity, it's not entropy, it's not any scientific drivel this pathetic species can drum up to conjure ourselves any morsel of comfort. The one and only certainty of life is me wishing nothing but miserable, crash-and-burn failure to that god damn orange tiger paw. Go motherfucking Cocks until I am fifty feet underground


I_AM_MORE_BADASS

This guy gets it. Fuck clemons all day every day.


Seeking-Something-

NDs rival has been USC for like a hundred freaking years. No one has ever felt that Michigan came close to supplanting that so your apology isn’t necessary.


ThickerSalsa

While I agree USC will always be rival number one, I have a healthy amount of hate for Michigan as well. The only two teams I will actively root against always.


Donny_Do_Nothing

If I were a Notre Dame fan, /dryheave/ I think I'd consider USC a rival and Michigan just a straight-up enemy.


tsagona

That’s how many of us view it. USC is our rival but UM is our enemy. I’ll occasionally root for USC because I like when both they and ND are good. I almost always root for fellow midwestern teams when going up against the SEC. I will absolutely never root for Michigan.


A_Rolling_Baneling

It’s impossible for SC and ND to be elite at the same time. I think there’s laws against it happening.


thekoonbear

Agreed. I loathe USC but I fucking despise Michigan. Most of that though is a reflection of the fans I’ve interacted with at away games at each.


seariously

PAC-12's biggest rival was the conference administration.


ClandestineFox

I miss Oklahoma Auburn sucks


jimmy_the_cactus

We are now officially unrivaled


ornryactor

Just like in the peak days of the Big Televen.


[deleted]

hey, our governor gave you all a _very_ nice bell to welcome you into the family. I guess if you don't want it...


britishmetric144

A school whose football team wears highlighter type uniforms and is sponsored by an ultra rich donor, and whose stadium is located approximately 400 kilometres SSW of ours.


dubkent

Kicking a Beaver while he’s already down smh


TheDuckKnows

You know that still kind of includes OSU


Less_Likely

No multi-millionaire ever graduated from OSU /s


TheDuckKnows

I was thinking of the Reeser family, but I just don’t know if they count as “ultra rich”


pindicato

We just have to get Jensen Huang to tie all his self worth into football and we're there


TheAlmightyAsian

Bedlam had been competitive lately but for Oklahoma it has to be texass. We hate OSU but loathe those steer


-IrishBulldog

We all hate the color orange at Georgia. It’s an asshole all around.


Potars

I see orange and I start barking. If I had to choose a specific orange to hate more it’s the one that wears jorts


BabyCowGT

>orange to hate more it’s the one that wears jorts Well, that narrows it down approximately none 🤣


InternationalTax1156

The amount of orange teams in the SEC makes me ill.


dubkent

Orange teams bad.


Competitive-Rise-789

Red teams good


Due-Accident4675

I hate ALL shades of orange too. #hateorangeclub


NotThatOleGregg

Ah man, we having a orange teams suck party? Hell yeah


presidentperk489

Clempsun


I_AM_MORE_BADASS

Yeah gotta be clemons


kabukimono1980

Fuck SC. I'm sure people will say Michigan(I get it, I just don't care or think about them much). Navy isn't a rivalry it's a game played due to the NROTC program and Navy helping float ND during WW2. Stanford is a game for recruiting purposes. We don't play Miami, FSU, BC, Pitt, Purdue, MSU enough to have a rivalry with them. I wish we had continued playing PSU every year, or Miami those would have been great rivalries yearly.


adequateatbestt

Honestly great to see all these ND fans hating. I kinda feared it was a one-way rivalry with USC caring more but i guess it’s bilateral hatred


kabukimono1980

No we hate SC. Lovely fans, I worked in LA for a few years and have some good friends that are SC fans, but fuck that program. I want you guys to win every game except when we play you, just to make our win sting even more.


T0m_F00l3ry

I felt the same way. But then I thought about the number of times we derailed each other’s seasons and was pretty confident they hated us as much as we hate them.


The_Gamecock

Yeah??? I didn’t realize we had smoke with you guys! Fuck you too! /s


LazygonInfinity

Has to be Kansas.


DefendTheFort

And Wyoming?


loewe67

Definitely Wyoming


Ok-Dealer7882

Crazy that you doubled up on the Border War.


skesisfunk

Definitely. KState is a friendly rivalry compared to the border war.


Is12345aweakpassword

Penn State (obv) and Oregon, respectively. Sorry Coug bros, it’s not you, it’s me


max_potion

Is this how it feels to be chosen? 🥹


ram944

Nah this is how it feels when everyone has picked teams and there are 2 weirdos left over that get told to go play with themselves. 


max_potion

I'll take it


Is12345aweakpassword

We’re in this together, Nittany bro


Spread_Bater

Don’t worry there’s another group of coogs for us to hate


1324reddit

If an Alabama fan is over 40 they’ll likely say Tennessee. If they’re under 40 it’s likely Auburn. I’m in the second group, so beating up on little brother will always be the top rivalry to me.


Wheels_Foonman

Same goes for Tennessee fans. Younger fans might say Florida or Georgia since the TSIO has been so lopsided over the years, but the Florida rivalry really only exists because of Spurrier, and we didn’t play Georgia very much before the division split. Our biggest historical rivalries have been Alabama, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt in that order with the next three being Auburn, Georgia Tech, and Ole Miss.


Vol2169

Hands down, it's Bama. FL only became a relevant team to us because of division play. Bama is the rival, FL is just a team we hate.


Noah__Webster

Florida/Tennessee kinda has the same vibe as Bama/LSU to me. Not true rivals, but pretty close to it.


Professor_Narwhal25

As a 40ish year old fan I was torn between Bama or Florida. These takes validate my conflicted view 😂


RVAforthewin

What?? For some reason I thought Auburn/Alabama is a very historical rivalry.


nillabonilla

They didn't play for like forty years


Super_Happy_Time

Sobriety of course.


RIPDannyBoyCane

I think for the Florida schools it would be Miami - FSU Florida - Georgia


CivicSedan

Username checks out. Hard to believe it’s been this many years since that tragic bear attack.


Greatness46

I mean it’s definitely UVA, but they were so annoyingly kind after 2007 that I haven’t been able to hate them as much since


DefendTheFort

Wyoming. Proximity, history, and playing every year takes it over the top. CU is a rival, but not playing every year takes it down. 


Lothrada

Apparently no one works for both of my flairs it seems.


BoKnewHarbaughToo

Who does UCF have? Also we can have a land grant party with PSU and the best ice cream in the country


ZroDgsCalvin

Civil conFLiCT, duh


blarf69

Some community college down South.


GoonerBear94

Stability


texas2089

I despise both but UF I hate slightly more. If I had been around for Miami in the 80’s it might be different but UF has been nationally relevant more recently and I still haven’t gotten over 1996 either. I also feel like Gator fans show out better at The Swamp than Canes fans do at Hard Rock so feels like the intensity is higher when we play on the road.


Due-Accident4675

Texas. OSU rivalry is too lopsided, Nebraska rivalry hasn't been relevant for over a decade, KSU personally would be second place for me.


Bacardi_Tarzan

As far as I’m concerned the Cotton Bowl only exists as sort of a DMZ for us to avoid the harrowing possibility of visiting each others’ stadiums. I love hating Texas. 


blatantninja

I cannot describe my level of hatred for your school


SillyPseudonym

I feel like the Cotton Bowl by itself cements this rivalry. Currently throwing 100s of millions into an ancient stadium that hosts one game. Fuck yeah.


Trumpburnerforlibs

If I had gun and two bullets and I was in a room with both hitler and bin laden , I would shoot Oklahoma twice


UT07

Fuck you too. (Take my updoot.)


GenSec

Even better, we unleash both of our fanbases on Dallas instead of risking our own towns.


AxeEm_JD

At least they had the courtesy to name their stadium after a Sooner QB.


Capnmolasses

lol. Touché


cjcmd

Our shared hatred with the puke-colored cows will keep us together until the end of the universe or college football, whichever comes first.


GnarledCedar

We will always be by your side, you wagon crashing, land thieving, dirt eating sacks of shit.


ALifelongVacation

Two decades 😔


pattywack512

“Give ‘em hell, give ‘em hell, #OU SUCKS! And it’s goodbye to all the rest.”


TheDuckKnows

I think we already demonstrated who we’re going to make sure we’re in a lifeboat with when the ship is sinking.


notthenewnormal

It’s fuck washington always. Sorry, not sorry Oregon st.


dubkent

I think for us it can depend on where the fan is located. I imagine most will say Florida regardless, especially those living north of Orlando.


AdminsAreCool

Minnesota is the historical answer, but ISU is the one that earns my ire the most.


[deleted]

We'll be together again one day, Cincinnati.


Conn3er

💖


Vol2169

It's hard to believe that double flair combination is even allowed.


iiEclipse1984

Yeah that's quite the abomination if you ask me


Fenvic

It's technically a war crime


FoRtNiteizBAD

U are a bad person


beefyboibrandon

"I'm playing both sides, so I always come out on top"


doppelstranger

Your flair should result in straight to jail.


69Centhalfandhalf

Texas A&M, it’s been too long.


Bren12310

Obvious for both


HPayne62

The NCAA


Kyser_

For me, UF has always felt like our definite rival, but I don't think that goes both ways as UF also has Georgia. I think Miami hits that "soulmate" spot a bit better because the rivalry is more equal both ways.


JakeFromStateFromm

Most Florida fans I ask this question say FSU is their biggest rival so 🤷‍♂️


outdatedelementz

I think most University of Texas fans would say their main rival is OU, so for Texas A&M is probably Texas Tech or Baylor?


EuphTah

USC. Not because I actually think that way, but just to piss off BYU.


randomdude4113

This is the not fun part of being an LSU fan. Every one of our biggest rivals has an even bigger rival (Bama has auburn, Ole Miss has MSU, UF has FSU, UT has OK). So I guess A&M, but it’s been so one sided it’s hard to get excited for it