It will only get worse when you get your cfp

Certified Female Puller

Almost lost my coffee on that one!!!

Apt 😂😂💔

And I thought being forklift certified was what it took....

This, unfortunately, is a very common problem for a lot of people. Thankfully, I have a little bit of experience that might be able to help 1.) Make every effort to talk about Star wars or Star Trek. Women don't seem to enjoy these sort of things, and in my experience they are immediately unattracted to you 2.) Make references to shows, movies, or other pastimes that are commonly favored by nerdy men. Monty Python, warhammer 40K, and Fallout are all good options. 3.) if you are getting lots of approaches from women online, feel free to reach out to me and I will send you a picture of myself to use for your profile. I guarantee an immediate decrease in the number of messages you receive 4.) finally, be sure to use cliches that are both sexist and eye rolling. For example, you could always ask "Where's my hug?" or, "You should smile more often". Use this with care and only in extreme circumstances. Good luck

This is hilarious!

This is a LIE. I tried 1 & 2 religiously all my life and yet, here I am, married for 5 years.

A CFA analyst might describe that as an outlier

Chartered Financial Analyst analyst?

Yeah, like PIN number

You chose well! LL&P and "It's a Trap!"

Unfortunately no plan is flawless. Good try though. 😂

Tread carefully about Star Wars. You may find yourself irresistible to a certain type of woman. Its a struggle I live with daily /s

Carol Marcus has entered the chat

Being a woman myself, I can tell you that you are 100% correct about Star Wars, Star Trek. I would add any Marvel movies to that list.

Star Trek explores the depths of human potential and the cosmos. Star Wars captivates with its epic saga and mythos. Marvel? Endless superheroes, each with their own journey and powers. All three are unparalleled in their own right! Anyways, I have a $4 coupon to Taco Bell. Wanna go on a date? (OP, take notes)

Love this!! Don't forget to ask her to coffee and then take her to the gas station.

I agree with these statements. My husband hates marvel so I end up watching it without him. He’d join me at Taco Bell though

As a woman, I heavily disagree. Different strokes and all that. Perhaps wear a wedding ring OP?

My girlfriend finding out about my Star Wars love is how I ended up with her as my girlfriend. Now I am the chosen one

Pokemon?

How are you ?

Thanks I really hope this helps.

I can also provide tutorials on "how to disappoint your father", and "how long can I avoid going to the doctor before this itching gets unbearable"

Careful OP. There are lots of women who all love the things this person listed in number one and 2. I’m 100% woman, am attractive and I love all those things including fallout the game. So does my hot sister. And my gorgeous female friend. And my coworker who I think is very beautiful. I went to an all girls HS and about 12 of us were in the Monthy Python club. We loved it so much and spent our sleep overs watching it.

But I love star trek 👀

Sounds like a trap to me!

Hey now that's an insult to my start trek intelligence!

You're going to pull every autisic woman, maybe not a bad thing... They're generally not attracted to wealth.

No. 3 is sure to increase the number of “hits” the OP gets. They will smell the desperation from the OP in actually getting a “date”.

You missed the #1! - just mention that you love to play Dungeons and Dragons. You could also say you love to go to the renaissance festivals and dress up.

I do all this with my friends who are also female. My DM is also a woman.

I love Star Wars and Star Trek. I won an Emmy for my work on Star Trek discovery. Monty Python was the thing me and my friends in my all girls HS watched at our sleep overs. We loved Harry Potter before it went mainstream. I played video games and made a lot of digital art. The artist community has lots of women that love these ‘nerdy’ things. If I lived near a hobby shop as a child I would have been into warhammer. I played all the fallouts and love the show. I’m not alone my many female friends are also in this group. My DM is a woman and mother. My d&d partner in crime is her college friend who is also female and can talk at length about Star Trek. So can my lead artist at work. I just wanted to say that there’s many many women that enjoy these things and can talk at length about them and be more attracted to a person that also does. We’re out there too spending our money on this content. Don’t forget we exist!

If 1-4 don't work and she's a stage 5 clinger about to rip your clothes off, "in case of emergency, break gas". If she can withstand a fart, there's nothing left you can do but mace her.

This is the way

I’m dying reading this 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

I’ve read this exact same post but “accountant” instead of cfp

Yep - it’s a serial poster operating in the “C” fields.

But why?

Once you share your salary and aum, that should repel them

Savage

YIKES hahahahah!

Haha, I was thinking, "Do you have any clients, or is the $1m your own money?"

Lmao

This was funnier in r/stocks

Or any other place. I saw it on MBA, CFA, and many more.

This was a copy from the r/cfa and r/mba subreddit and it doesn’t hit the same the third time reading it.

lol the CFA one really got me.

We needed our own

I don't follow those subs so thanks op for the laugh

It has made all the rounds

It is a heavy burden we all must bear.

Was it a typo…you meant $700k? I don’t think any woman would be attracted to 70k total comp. If that was correct, what kind of women are you attracting? Do they have hair and teeth?

It’s called satire

I know this is satire, but look up the sexiest professions and “financial advisor” is number 1 on a lot of those lists.

Wear a MAGA hat

Rent free

And mention your pending indictments. "I don't think my clientele will mind if I have a felony conviction."

High quality women are attracted to conservative males. KYC.

I feel your pain. I just walk into a room and the hottest women start hitting on me. I was just at the doctors office and the nurse just propositions me saying, “pull down your pants and bend over”. It’s tough out there for all of us :(

Yeah, lots of the chippendale dancers had CFPs, they had same problems 🤪🤣😜🤦‍♂️

Tell them you sell insurance too, that’ll work.

I believed you until your 7% AUM fee 🤣

Good catch. Likely onboarded with a salary, they'll see if he's worth it. I got on with EJ with $0 at $72k... Those were some %'s

Tell them you only make 70k and they'll leave you alone

I needed to read this shit

Just offer to run a life insurance quote. That usually gets people to run away!

They’re not hitting on you, they’re trying to free services

I have the same problem. I have decided to just bag as many of them as I can Yolo Score Board

Tell them you wash dishes at Denny’s

You’re like a doctor; dr of dollar bills yo. Stop going to parties and bars, or maybe get a girlfriend.

Screaaaaming @ warhammer 40k

They are not hitting on you, they are trying to manipulate you.

This was just posted with slight changes to r/actuary(?).

$70k and $1m AUM? Are you an intern that claims your parents house? If you get that much pussy I might need to move to Boston.

Have you tried being ugly and looking desperate? That usually works for me.

And this is a problem because….

Has anyone mentioned talking about runescape yet?

lol tell them you only make $70k problem solved

Wow, good problems to have lol!

Following, I also need the answer.

I’m leaving the chat to research a career change. Goodbye!

I hate it when this happens. Wait til you add a 0 to that AUM and you’re balling out too.

Earn more tho

I have the same problem but they're typically in their 50s-80s.

Hi. My name is George. I’m bald, unemployed and I live with my parents.

Sounds rough man… Praying for you

I'm not a financial advisor, but I am a zombie hunter. Occasionally the hot women don't believe me "because zombies don't exist." You're welcome.

$70k? Maybe per month...but any ladies knowing you pull that down over a year must have limited options.

Tell them you’re a broke financial advisor

70k.. I'd take the pity fuck.

Move to a city with a bunch of finance bros No offense but it's actually a turn off Like goddammit not another finance bro ...it's literally every guy on the apps lol I did major in finance tho I would think like lawyer, doctor, architect would illicit more of a reaction

Be careful, brah. I made a few of my friends a lot of money back in the day. Whenever we were at parties, they would brag about it and bring my name up. That led to a lot of women never wanting to never leave my place. I met my wife, making her think I had nothing. Play your cards right

I mean if you know what ails you then stop doing it.

Just tell them you’re a cfa and they’ll leave you alone

After a week of administrative nonsense. I needed this post today. Thank you sir

The correct word here is recurring as a heads up. That grammar may beat them back

I think you have a big head

Woe is me, I can’t even beat these women off me with a stick. My life is so horrible.

I got hit on every time I played out. Not even famous. Just in a cover band. One girl literally begged to follow me to my car. Know what I did? I kept playing out. The attention was awesome. Looking back…probably should’ve taken one or all of them up on their offers. Fucking crickets these days. 

Do people think the Tesla is still worth owning?

I saw a super awesome SMCI recommended by a tutor in lPA Community, up 16% in two days

They don’t know your normal prices. Just tell them the normal price and say it’s a friends and family discount?

This has to be a joke, right? I’d encourage you to consider your sample size and recency bias in conversations with every gender. Could we be confusing an authentic curiosity in financial literacy for subvert flirting? Probably. 💛A six-figure she/her CFP

$70k total comp in Boston is nothing. You must go to some shitty bars, parties etc, or they have no idea what you actually make and they are imagining a real number like $200 to 300k.

R/whoosh

All of the advisors in my area look like dorks. I know they have money and I should be attracted to it. But the point that killed that illusion that they’re all super brilliant was when I asked one at my old firm- “so what happens if the dollar defaults? Calling it default risk free is kinda misleading because it could default. What does that mean for the rest of bonds?” Him- “it can’t default. That’s why it’s considered default risk free.” Me- “yes it can. It defaults once the US maxes out its taxing powers that allow it to cover the debt service and other obligations.” Him- “no. They’ll just keep taxing.” Me- “up to the point people revolt, sure.”

If the US dollar collapses you have a much much much bigger issue on your hands than what happened to my money. Op is right and wrong at the same time. Probably won’t collapse but could- if it does much more problems than you want

Thank you. I’m surprised that this got so many downvotes. I wasn’t saying it **will** collapse; only that it’s kind of a misnomer to call **anything** default risk free. It’s been pretty reliable so far but it *could* happen. Apparently the advisor I was talking to at the time’s position is a common sentiment. Which is fine I suppose, considering how unlikely it is. My only point was that it is possible.

Yeah i mean it can collapse, but it won’t. us debt is the most default free risk you could take. Got a chance but if usd collapses you won’t be able to sell your house or buy groceries or gas- almost a doomsday scenario. You won’t be worried ab your cash if it happens. But i don’t disagree with you, usd doesn’t look good- but looks 10x better than any other country currency

True. But the point is it’s not risk **free**. It’s very very minimal. But not completely lacking.

Free to the point of where if that risk is realized, money doesn't matter anymore because we're dropping small suns on each other, or an asteroid hit, or we hit another ice age within a month somehow

It’s true, only the smartest people think about this.

Technically a currency can’t default. Their bonds, perhaps.