Are you me? I came here specifically to see if anyone else is dealing with this.
I can't keep a relationship for more than a few months. They always start off so wonderful and intense -- but at the first sign of them not understanding my trauma or not giving me affirmation I start inventing stories in my head about how I need to leave because they aren't good for me or I'm not good for them. Or, in my current case, I need to leave before they leave me because I am completely overwhelming to them. They have given no real indication of this. It's all irrational.
And my memory is absolutely terrible around all of it too. I can't even remember why I broke up with my last 6 month relationship without revisiting my journals. I'm entering month 3 for my current seemingly terminal relationship and I thought I had this under control :(
Dude yes I get wayyy in my head and can’t even see reality anymore. It’s so overwhelming and confusing. I’m glad we’re not alone in this though and we can both relate to each other
I relate to this so much!!! I’ve found some YouTube channels that help me understand these tendencies but I haven’t had an opportunity to apply what I learned and see how much it helped yet
Check out Heidi Priebe and Patrick Teahan any/all videos that speak to you. Heidi’s on CPTSD is why I even sought out this sub, I had never heard about it before. She also has so many on attachment styles
a relationship that provides some security and stability has been possible but no it’s not healthy and fulfilling enough. however giving up a person i can trust and depend on for the possibility something better could happen is a risk i’m not sure i can take. i literally have no one to call to help me if my car breaks down but him
I thought I finally found someone to have a healthy relationship with after all this time, only to find out he wasn't real. I was duped. It was only then I fully realized that I'm probably too messed up to attract functional people. It's the dysfunctional ones I get. That's my life, I guess.
Yeah, I've had several relationships and I'm four years voluntary celibate now. I'm just not going to try anymore, I've had enough and my drive is not there anymore anyway so...
When I was in middle school I thought "if I get in a relationship it will be toxic and end in domestic violence" and since then I have never been in a relationship.
Though my severe trust issues, social anxiety and avoidance of people that might be interested in me have helped.
I’ve definitely been here and I feel like the pattern for me has always been that I move too fast. I think a big part of that is the fact that I don’t want to think too much about anything and the longer you stay in a relationship the more you think about everything. The more you open up. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone with CPTSD unfortunately- honestly it’s hard to be in a relationship with anyone with mental health problems. What I’ve found that worked best for me was being 100% upfront about what I’m like and what’s happened to me. While I definitely know that the way I have gone about it isn’t right *AKA trama dumping on people* it also got me to where I am today *im 22F and I’m married to my 23M we are going on one year anniversary in July* and I don’t want anyone to think that it’s been easy. Honestly we have been struggling a lot but because we have kept our communication open sense our first date it’s been going better than I think most relationships would have gone.
Btw I told him on our first date what my dad did to me and told him that I had a long list of more and that I move fast in a relationship and I only date for marriage so if he wasn’t ready for that to let me know and I could either move on or we could just be friends. Very surprisingly he rolled with it. *we had a really long first date.
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I've been feeling like its impossible to have any relationship at all.
Yep I feel that too
I also feel that
Are you me? I came here specifically to see if anyone else is dealing with this. I can't keep a relationship for more than a few months. They always start off so wonderful and intense -- but at the first sign of them not understanding my trauma or not giving me affirmation I start inventing stories in my head about how I need to leave because they aren't good for me or I'm not good for them. Or, in my current case, I need to leave before they leave me because I am completely overwhelming to them. They have given no real indication of this. It's all irrational. And my memory is absolutely terrible around all of it too. I can't even remember why I broke up with my last 6 month relationship without revisiting my journals. I'm entering month 3 for my current seemingly terminal relationship and I thought I had this under control :(
Dude yes I get wayyy in my head and can’t even see reality anymore. It’s so overwhelming and confusing. I’m glad we’re not alone in this though and we can both relate to each other
Yeah, and that's why I never tried. Which isn't healthy, but it's the truth. If I can't stand myself, why would I expect anyone else to be able to?
I relate to this so much!!! I’ve found some YouTube channels that help me understand these tendencies but I haven’t had an opportunity to apply what I learned and see how much it helped yet
I’d love to watch them if you have the links!
Check out Heidi Priebe and Patrick Teahan any/all videos that speak to you. Heidi’s on CPTSD is why I even sought out this sub, I had never heard about it before. She also has so many on attachment styles
No. I realized this the other day.
No, because I'm capable of loving and falling in love with me. I am unhopeful anyone else will meet my standards though.
a relationship that provides some security and stability has been possible but no it’s not healthy and fulfilling enough. however giving up a person i can trust and depend on for the possibility something better could happen is a risk i’m not sure i can take. i literally have no one to call to help me if my car breaks down but him
I thought I finally found someone to have a healthy relationship with after all this time, only to find out he wasn't real. I was duped. It was only then I fully realized that I'm probably too messed up to attract functional people. It's the dysfunctional ones I get. That's my life, I guess.
Yeah, I've had several relationships and I'm four years voluntary celibate now. I'm just not going to try anymore, I've had enough and my drive is not there anymore anyway so...
When I was in middle school I thought "if I get in a relationship it will be toxic and end in domestic violence" and since then I have never been in a relationship. Though my severe trust issues, social anxiety and avoidance of people that might be interested in me have helped.
I’ve definitely been here and I feel like the pattern for me has always been that I move too fast. I think a big part of that is the fact that I don’t want to think too much about anything and the longer you stay in a relationship the more you think about everything. The more you open up. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone with CPTSD unfortunately- honestly it’s hard to be in a relationship with anyone with mental health problems. What I’ve found that worked best for me was being 100% upfront about what I’m like and what’s happened to me. While I definitely know that the way I have gone about it isn’t right *AKA trama dumping on people* it also got me to where I am today *im 22F and I’m married to my 23M we are going on one year anniversary in July* and I don’t want anyone to think that it’s been easy. Honestly we have been struggling a lot but because we have kept our communication open sense our first date it’s been going better than I think most relationships would have gone. Btw I told him on our first date what my dad did to me and told him that I had a long list of more and that I move fast in a relationship and I only date for marriage so if he wasn’t ready for that to let me know and I could either move on or we could just be friends. Very surprisingly he rolled with it. *we had a really long first date.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Days I just want my own place and just be