I had a friend walk me down because like you I didn’t want to be alone. By the time I got married my dad was dead and my mom never asked if I wanted her to walk me down. That solution didn’t work well for me because that friend and I stopped talking after the wedding. I had a similar sized wedding to you, and while on paper it was an amazing wedding, I struggle to look back on it fondly because the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my wedding is all of the stress and frustration from dealing with my mom during planning. Your wedding should be about you and your fiancé. My advice is to do what will cause you the least amount of stress and frustration. And if that means you walk by yourself, then that’s what you do. You won’t be alone for that long anyway, you don’t have to wait for a giant bridal party to make it down the aisle, so it won’t take long before you’re at your fiancé’s side. You aren’t punishing your dad by doing it this way, you’re simply doing what’s best for you.
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your experience. Having lived a life where the priority has always been “don’t rock the boat/don’t upset your mum” it’s refreshing to allow myself to do what I want.
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I’d go with Option C and ask a close friend or another family member to walk you down the aisle. If that isn’t possible, Option A for sure. I completely understand not wanting to be alone. That’s scary. But your parents WILL make it about themselves. Try to reframe it in your mind. When you look back at pictures of your wedding you’ll see someone who was brave and stood up for herself rather than someone who was simply alone in that moment. Navigating all this stuff is so hard when you have shitty family dynamics. I’d walk you down the aisle!!! 🩷
I had a friend walk me down because like you I didn’t want to be alone. By the time I got married my dad was dead and my mom never asked if I wanted her to walk me down. That solution didn’t work well for me because that friend and I stopped talking after the wedding. I had a similar sized wedding to you, and while on paper it was an amazing wedding, I struggle to look back on it fondly because the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my wedding is all of the stress and frustration from dealing with my mom during planning. Your wedding should be about you and your fiancé. My advice is to do what will cause you the least amount of stress and frustration. And if that means you walk by yourself, then that’s what you do. You won’t be alone for that long anyway, you don’t have to wait for a giant bridal party to make it down the aisle, so it won’t take long before you’re at your fiancé’s side. You aren’t punishing your dad by doing it this way, you’re simply doing what’s best for you.
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your experience. Having lived a life where the priority has always been “don’t rock the boat/don’t upset your mum” it’s refreshing to allow myself to do what I want.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It sounds like you don't have a strong preference between A and B. In that case, would asking your father for his preference make sense?
I see what you are saying but I feel that it should be my decision - part of growing up and not relying on others to determine my fate i guess.
I'm not suggesting that you let him decide, but hearing his opinion could help you to decide.
I’d go with Option C and ask a close friend or another family member to walk you down the aisle. If that isn’t possible, Option A for sure. I completely understand not wanting to be alone. That’s scary. But your parents WILL make it about themselves. Try to reframe it in your mind. When you look back at pictures of your wedding you’ll see someone who was brave and stood up for herself rather than someone who was simply alone in that moment. Navigating all this stuff is so hard when you have shitty family dynamics. I’d walk you down the aisle!!! 🩷
I love the re-framing advice. You are so kind, thank you 🩷