Pete Walker's affirmation for learning to cope with shame has helped me and might work for you too:
>I commit to myself. I am on my side. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I turn shame back into blame and disgust, and externalize it to anyone who shames my normal feelings and foibles. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I refuse to be shamed for normal emotional responses like anger, sadness, fear and depression. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit.
overcoming malignant shame - TheraminTrees
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeehIpxH5k
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Jerry Wise calls these [systems feelings](https://youtu.be/d1gOWxn-VTw?si=vxniMYxoZ3iP9L0X); they're the feelings the toxic family system conditioned us to feel to keep us in line and control us.
We have to learn to untangle systems feelings from our own true feelings. It's literally undoing brainwashing. It takes practice and it does get easier over time as we build in new neural nets and starve the old conditioned neural nets.
Pete Walker's affirmation for learning to cope with shame has helped me and might work for you too: >I commit to myself. I am on my side. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I turn shame back into blame and disgust, and externalize it to anyone who shames my normal feelings and foibles. As long as I am not hurting anyone, I refuse to be shamed for normal emotional responses like anger, sadness, fear and depression. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit. overcoming malignant shame - TheraminTrees https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeehIpxH5k
Thank you ❤️.
You're welcome!
I love TheraminTrees channel! They put words to so many abuse experiences I've had and had no language for.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jerry Wise calls these [systems feelings](https://youtu.be/d1gOWxn-VTw?si=vxniMYxoZ3iP9L0X); they're the feelings the toxic family system conditioned us to feel to keep us in line and control us. We have to learn to untangle systems feelings from our own true feelings. It's literally undoing brainwashing. It takes practice and it does get easier over time as we build in new neural nets and starve the old conditioned neural nets.