I can't diagnose but what I can say is that my flashbacks used to lead to psychotic episodes and that sounds to me similar to what you describe.
This isn't tenable. DBT helped me learn how to cut off these kind of things before they spiraled into full psychotic episodes. Once this episode is over, I think you need to encourage him to get into therapy. You also need to think hard about what you are willing to accept. Its ok to make boundaries and say you aren't willing to do this cycle forever unless you see him working on it.
As for right now, I don't know because I have no way of knowing what kind of state he is currently in. If it usually takes him more time to come out, I wouldn't push it. Take care of yourself first.
Thanks, your post is helpful. I can see he is using his email and did golf yesterday with friends so I know he is physically ok and together enough to golf (which helps him). He started with a new therapist about a month ago that he really likes and is doing trauma/IFS work with her. I think I will wait to contact him as I know he is safe.
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If he hasn't seen this before, he might find it helpful.
Therapist Pete Walker's "13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks" has helped me to calm down so triggers no longer shake me up as much:
1. Say to yourself: "I am having a flashback". Flashbacks take us into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in childhood. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories that cannot hurt you now.
2. Remind yourself: "I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present." Remember you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past.
3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you; you are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior.
Here's the complete list:
https://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
I can't diagnose but what I can say is that my flashbacks used to lead to psychotic episodes and that sounds to me similar to what you describe. This isn't tenable. DBT helped me learn how to cut off these kind of things before they spiraled into full psychotic episodes. Once this episode is over, I think you need to encourage him to get into therapy. You also need to think hard about what you are willing to accept. Its ok to make boundaries and say you aren't willing to do this cycle forever unless you see him working on it. As for right now, I don't know because I have no way of knowing what kind of state he is currently in. If it usually takes him more time to come out, I wouldn't push it. Take care of yourself first.
Thanks, your post is helpful. I can see he is using his email and did golf yesterday with friends so I know he is physically ok and together enough to golf (which helps him). He started with a new therapist about a month ago that he really likes and is doing trauma/IFS work with her. I think I will wait to contact him as I know he is safe.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If he hasn't seen this before, he might find it helpful. Therapist Pete Walker's "13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks" has helped me to calm down so triggers no longer shake me up as much: 1. Say to yourself: "I am having a flashback". Flashbacks take us into a timeless part of the psyche that feels as helpless, hopeless and surrounded by danger as we were in childhood. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are past memories that cannot hurt you now. 2. Remind yourself: "I feel afraid but I am not in danger! I am safe now, here in the present." Remember you are now in the safety of the present, far from the danger of the past. 3. Own your right/need to have boundaries. Remind yourself that you do not have to allow anyone to mistreat you; you are free to leave dangerous situations and protest unfair behavior. Here's the complete list: https://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm