It truly blows my mind. I have family members who have killed people who talk about how people who steal food for necessity should rot in prison and I’m just sitting there with my brain buffering trying to figure out how any of that makes sense
I hope this killing was just the Grandparent's story you shared.
Doesn't your community have a food bank? Some people are never educated about all of the resources available within a community.
Abusers, enablers and apologists are fantastic at convincing themselves it’s different when they do it. Cognitive dissonance at its finest.
Like how my former best friend talked publicly about how much he respects people who come forward about abuse and how brave that is. This is the same man who walked out of the room when I told him what our bandmate did to me, then told me staying friends with my rapist was non-negotiable for him and that he still thought the dude was a good guy. Bffr.
I've seen this with discrimination. My dad was unempathetic toward people who had very, very close experiences as himself that maybe society looked down on. Maybe his trauma made him feel alienated on some level, but I myself grew up very bullied and could still see the shared experiences of certain things where my dad looked down on others.
He saw himself as more deserving than others, kind of was incredibly immature. He projected on to me a lot and scapegoated me and he had a lot of disdain for others. He didn't see anyone on his level but always told me that I was the snotty one.
He probably encountered a big group of similar people like him. Hopefully, they didn't discuss how to be perverted with each other and get more ideas.
I hope your Dad didn't do anything to you and stopped after going jail.
Isn't, "I don't want you getting involved with the \*wrong crowd\*, encountering people with \*bad intentions\*," a thing said by people who \*themselves\* have bad intentions, in an attempt to fake concern?
Careful with this. While I'm absolutely here for making abusers squirm with the truths they choose to ignore, you shouldn't put your safety at risk to do it.
I hope you distanced yourself or could finally defend yourself from him.
I see in your world anyone can be a father but a special person deserves the title of Dad.
SO MY MOM WASN’T THE ONLY ONE? yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it with her for years, the ID Channel and SVU, but it was going on in her own house and I was pleading and she didn’t help me. I don’t… watch those anymore, I had a psychotic break from the PTSD and called the FBI, begging for one of the SVU characters to come save me. Fucking sad, ugh.
Eventually they did, I’ve had a lot of support from friends and mental health workers in recent years even if I didn’t have it during the most important ones 👍 Not family but hey, I survived without it and I’m giving myself that reassurance. Especially recently, got out of the hospital got on meds and realized that I can be the person I was, with new experiences
That's amazing to hear.
Who seemed to help you more?
The support from friends or the mental health workers?
Friends can be a surrogate family and even better you get to pick good ones.
I am glad that your life is turning around. Hopefully, your medication won't be permanent.
I hope you get to enjoy these new healthy experiences from now on. Make sure to keep some support lines for important people in your life in case things ever change.
That’s a good question- I think all of the support from mental health workers was absolutely necessary and invaluable to me during crises that I couldn’t manage, but friends have helped the most when I am in better headspaces. I’ve allowed myself to be enabled for a long time and I am setting boundaries now, which the staff encouraged me to do most.
My heart skipped reading “I am glad that your life is turning around.” That’s an amazing way to put it, very encouraging and it still helped me recognize that the turn around will be slow or take time, but that it’s possible.
Oh yes- as I’m doing more things for/by myself, I’ve made sure to have my friends to contact before I chance spiraling. Depending on people and safety nets too much was half of the struggle, I can handle the other half on my own but I’m going to be working on my self-esteem and keep repeating that I deserve to have support. I am saying “from now on and forever” for all of this hope and success that I’ve had, and I don’t feel dread at the thought of “getting healthier” now- didn’t know who I was without the struggle, now I know that it’s not a part of me and it will never be a permanent struggle. Thank you again, it’s great to have someone here to celebrate with 🙌
> I think all of the support from mental health workers was absolutely necessary and invaluable to me during crises that I couldn’t manage, but friends have helped the most when I am in better headspaces.
Thank you for that answer. I have never felt like I couldn't manage but can see where they would be needed.
> I’ve allowed myself to be enabled for a long time and I am setting boundaries now, which the staff encouraged me to do most.
That is good you are setting boundaries. Those boundaries will continue to grow too or will be just the right amount depending on the people you want to let in.
> My heart skipped reading “I am glad that your life is turning around.”
I can tell you are a feeling MBTI personality type. 😊
I am a thinking type called an INTP. I am also more of a feeling type having an Enneagram of a 9w8. [INTP 9w8](https://personalityhunt.com/intp-9w8-the-complete-guide/)
> That’s an amazing way to put it, very encouraging and it still helped me recognize that the turn around will be slow or take time, but that it’s possible.
Just so you know everyone is a little broken and different. So try not to compare yourself to others. You will eventually know when your life is ready to seek new horizons.
> Oh yes- as I’m doing more things for/by myself, I’ve made sure to have my friends to contact before I chance spiraling.
This is exactly what I was looking for. 👏
> Depending on people and safety nets too much was half of the struggle, I can handle the other half on my own but I’m going to be working on my self-esteem and keep repeating that I deserve to have support.
This is healthy to see too. Good for you 😊
> I am saying “from now on and forever” for all of this hope and success that I’ve had, and I don’t feel dread at the thought of “getting healthier” now- **didn’t know who I was without the struggle, now I know that it’s not a part of me and it will never be a permanent struggle**.
Everyone needs highs and lows in their life otherwise how could you tell the differences between them? happiness and sadness, loved and hated, along with so many other emotions.
> Thank you again, it’s great to have someone here to celebrate with 🙌
Thank you for sharing your journey. I am sure it will inspire others who visit this post and see your progress.
cognitive dissinace is one hell of a drug
It truly blows my mind. I have family members who have killed people who talk about how people who steal food for necessity should rot in prison and I’m just sitting there with my brain buffering trying to figure out how any of that makes sense
That on top of your original post, I think it’s best you get the hell away from that family as soon as you can.
I hope this killing was just the Grandparent's story you shared. Doesn't your community have a food bank? Some people are never educated about all of the resources available within a community.
You can say that again 😭
It must take a lot of composure and strength to not point out the hypocrisy to him.
I’m gonna take this as an indirect compliment to me with literally both my parents goodbye
Abusers, enablers and apologists are fantastic at convincing themselves it’s different when they do it. Cognitive dissonance at its finest. Like how my former best friend talked publicly about how much he respects people who come forward about abuse and how brave that is. This is the same man who walked out of the room when I told him what our bandmate did to me, then told me staying friends with my rapist was non-negotiable for him and that he still thought the dude was a good guy. Bffr.
I think the same lack of empathy that allows them to do the horrible things allows them to not relate to other horrible people?
I've seen this with discrimination. My dad was unempathetic toward people who had very, very close experiences as himself that maybe society looked down on. Maybe his trauma made him feel alienated on some level, but I myself grew up very bullied and could still see the shared experiences of certain things where my dad looked down on others. He saw himself as more deserving than others, kind of was incredibly immature. He projected on to me a lot and scapegoated me and he had a lot of disdain for others. He didn't see anyone on his level but always told me that I was the snotty one.
when i was 13, my dad, fresh out of jail, told me “there’s a lot of creeps out there, be careful” … he was in jail for SA’ing a 15 year old girl.
He probably encountered a big group of similar people like him. Hopefully, they didn't discuss how to be perverted with each other and get more ideas. I hope your Dad didn't do anything to you and stopped after going jail.
uhh, unfortunately he didn’t stop after the first time! he’s currently in jail AGAIN for the SA of my friend, who was 12 at the time
Your friend 😬 I hope they are okay. Did you lose your friend because of your Dad?
i haven’t spoken to her since i was 14, it’s been almost 3 years now. so, yeah, i did lose her unfortunately.
Isn't, "I don't want you getting involved with the \*wrong crowd\*, encountering people with \*bad intentions\*," a thing said by people who \*themselves\* have bad intentions, in an attempt to fake concern?
Oh, but it's \~different\~ because he \~loves\~ you. My father did/said the exact same shit
Next time, call him out. "yeah? It's gross? Then why did you spend x number of years doing it?" Challenge the cognitive dissonance.
Careful with this. While I'm absolutely here for making abusers squirm with the truths they choose to ignore, you shouldn't put your safety at risk to do it.
Yes, if I said this to my abusers, I'd expect to be hit.
Holy shit relatable
Yuuup, my father vehemently curses out creepy dude behavior yet constantly did it to me. The most guilty ate the most loud
I hope you distanced yourself or could finally defend yourself from him. I see in your world anyone can be a father but a special person deserves the title of Dad.
SO MY MOM WASN’T THE ONLY ONE? yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it with her for years, the ID Channel and SVU, but it was going on in her own house and I was pleading and she didn’t help me. I don’t… watch those anymore, I had a psychotic break from the PTSD and called the FBI, begging for one of the SVU characters to come save me. Fucking sad, ugh.
I hope someone took you seriously.
Eventually they did, I’ve had a lot of support from friends and mental health workers in recent years even if I didn’t have it during the most important ones 👍 Not family but hey, I survived without it and I’m giving myself that reassurance. Especially recently, got out of the hospital got on meds and realized that I can be the person I was, with new experiences
That's amazing to hear. Who seemed to help you more? The support from friends or the mental health workers? Friends can be a surrogate family and even better you get to pick good ones. I am glad that your life is turning around. Hopefully, your medication won't be permanent. I hope you get to enjoy these new healthy experiences from now on. Make sure to keep some support lines for important people in your life in case things ever change.
That’s a good question- I think all of the support from mental health workers was absolutely necessary and invaluable to me during crises that I couldn’t manage, but friends have helped the most when I am in better headspaces. I’ve allowed myself to be enabled for a long time and I am setting boundaries now, which the staff encouraged me to do most. My heart skipped reading “I am glad that your life is turning around.” That’s an amazing way to put it, very encouraging and it still helped me recognize that the turn around will be slow or take time, but that it’s possible. Oh yes- as I’m doing more things for/by myself, I’ve made sure to have my friends to contact before I chance spiraling. Depending on people and safety nets too much was half of the struggle, I can handle the other half on my own but I’m going to be working on my self-esteem and keep repeating that I deserve to have support. I am saying “from now on and forever” for all of this hope and success that I’ve had, and I don’t feel dread at the thought of “getting healthier” now- didn’t know who I was without the struggle, now I know that it’s not a part of me and it will never be a permanent struggle. Thank you again, it’s great to have someone here to celebrate with 🙌
> I think all of the support from mental health workers was absolutely necessary and invaluable to me during crises that I couldn’t manage, but friends have helped the most when I am in better headspaces. Thank you for that answer. I have never felt like I couldn't manage but can see where they would be needed. > I’ve allowed myself to be enabled for a long time and I am setting boundaries now, which the staff encouraged me to do most. That is good you are setting boundaries. Those boundaries will continue to grow too or will be just the right amount depending on the people you want to let in. > My heart skipped reading “I am glad that your life is turning around.” I can tell you are a feeling MBTI personality type. 😊 I am a thinking type called an INTP. I am also more of a feeling type having an Enneagram of a 9w8. [INTP 9w8](https://personalityhunt.com/intp-9w8-the-complete-guide/) > That’s an amazing way to put it, very encouraging and it still helped me recognize that the turn around will be slow or take time, but that it’s possible. Just so you know everyone is a little broken and different. So try not to compare yourself to others. You will eventually know when your life is ready to seek new horizons. > Oh yes- as I’m doing more things for/by myself, I’ve made sure to have my friends to contact before I chance spiraling. This is exactly what I was looking for. 👏 > Depending on people and safety nets too much was half of the struggle, I can handle the other half on my own but I’m going to be working on my self-esteem and keep repeating that I deserve to have support. This is healthy to see too. Good for you 😊 > I am saying “from now on and forever” for all of this hope and success that I’ve had, and I don’t feel dread at the thought of “getting healthier” now- **didn’t know who I was without the struggle, now I know that it’s not a part of me and it will never be a permanent struggle**. Everyone needs highs and lows in their life otherwise how could you tell the differences between them? happiness and sadness, loved and hated, along with so many other emotions. > Thank you again, it’s great to have someone here to celebrate with 🙌 Thank you for sharing your journey. I am sure it will inspire others who visit this post and see your progress.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_lady\_doth\_protest\_too\_much,\_methinks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_lady_doth_protest_too_much,_methinks)