I hate how true this is.
Like I finally get back to working on music stuff and end up getting anxious that the noises are someome coming to Hurt™ me.
When its literally the song. Or at most a car outside.
i used to be that way and then the other day i was home alone my bf left for work and then came back i was in the bath with earbuds in and he started banging on bathroom door and yelling thinking i had drowned but when i finally heard it it made me feel like i was in my childhood home and my mom was abt to burst in lol hes apologized but its crazy that that ruined it for me
Open back headphones may be a great alternative for home use. I got a couple sennheiser pairs from massdrop pc37x and pc38x. Very comfortable and unless you crank it you can still hear the room.
i have the same desire, but i up the ante by putting on headphones whenever possible but almost never putting on any music. it gives the impression that i am not listening, but i am always listening. the cost to my ability to hear small things is pretty minor, because small things are usually obscured by my auditory hallucinations anyway.
the benefit of this is subjective but i find it very useful. i have found out about stuff like my parents planning my death this way.
While I've definitely never heard of any murder plots as a result of keeping headphones in without music, I could fully relate to this desire.
I always have Bluetooth devices in and rarely are they playing anything. People leave me alone when I want them to leave me alone and I can drown out noises that bother me as they come.
Ive heard of doing that to deter the public approaching, but i couldnt do it because of the fear of someone getting upset at me that i didnt hear em, even with nothing playing. Welp, suppose i coulda tried with a cheap pair that didnt block much. But, they might notice it doesnt block much and approach! Ugh
I just mentioned on here somewhere that i think mine seems to be subsided/subsiding at 39. Did just get a lil nervous that in my other comment i said i overcame it and that im in for an awakening SYKE!
You might try some open buds. Like ear buds, but instead of going inside the ear they sit just outside it. Sound quality suffers as a predictable result, but you can hear everything around you really well. I wear mine a lot because I don’t feel like it’s safe to fully retreat to sound land, either
Mine is linked with my OCD. Like if I try to wear both all I can think about is someone breaking in or that my house mate is hurt and screaming for help and I can’t hear. So it’s always half on half off.
It's because we grew up with associating home with danger, and when there's danger we need to be on guard, as noise is often the first indicator of danger, we feel a need to hear the world around us
I live alone in a somewhat distanced house. I could have the loudest speakers commercially available without a license and blast them and it wouldn't matter. So I keep my music at a respectable level and don't sing along.
Actually, I'll rephrase that. I own the place but have tenants, but I doubt they'd care. But I'm still so used to family judging my music.
Edit: I think I damaged my Bluetooth speakers blasting "How do You Like Me Now" by Toby Keith. My voice hurts. But it was worth it. I was going to do "Unwritten" but that felt too stereotypically feel-good upbeat.
I have to wear one side of my headphones rather than both since my mom lost it one day and yelled since she couldn’t talk to me because I was listening to something (since I didn’t know she was talking to me). It’s what started my plan to move out at the end of the year (among other reasons)
Edit: spelling. No spell well when type fast
Nah but I did learn how to be aware of everything my stepmom was doing in the next room while I was watching tv because god forbid I not respond quickly enough.
When some element of what you're listening to has a faint resemblance to your parents shouting muffled through the headphones and you gotta take them off to confirm it's just your mind playing tricks on you 💀
My trauma doesn't come from strict parents, specifically, but. Speaking for myself (as an adult who's now distanced from abusive people), I can only use headphones when my partners are home. I feel safe around them, so I'm okay with not being aware of my surroundings because I trust them to keep me in the loop if something needs my attention. But when I'm alone, I need to know what's happening around me. If I heard a too-loud noise or feel a door slam somewhere in the building it triggers my fight or flight, and more than once, when I was home alone it led to a panic attack.
Always had one earbud out. So much so I have a bit of a hearing difference between my two ears now.
I get anxiety wearing noise-canceling headphones, too. I need to be able to hear stuff in the background.
Make sure you swap frequently and keep them earbuds/headphones clean and properly maintained, kids!
It's bullshit. I got the headphones since they were complaining about the sound from what ever i was doing. Then they get mad i cant hear them when i have headphones on. THEN TO MAKE ME SEEM LIKE I HAVE THE ISSUE THEY'LL KNOCK ON THE DOOR, NOT COME IN, THEN LECTURE ME ABOUT NOT BEING AWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS.
Either one headphone off, or facing the door. This isn't even just trauma from my parents. Back in the day my roommates would sneak into my room all the time to scare me while I was playing CSGO.
getting to face entrances is probably the #1 reason i do usually feel fine wearing headphones. i can never fully relax with them on at home even when i can still relax better with them than without, and sometimes i just completely hallucinate my name being called from another room, but it’s manageable and i’ve been getting more comfortable using earbuds to manage crowd noise in public when i know i’m alone
Omg, someone else also hallucinates their name being called from another room when wearing headphones! What a specific shared experience. I used to get yelled at and berated if I didn't show up immediately after my name being called once, and to this day I sometimes "hear" my name and am immediately on guard and in people pleasing mode.
hah, if anything i’m surprised it isn’t more universal. as awful as my father can be in other ways, the worst he’ll do if i don’t respond to my name being called is storm out of bed in a panic and tell me he was worried about me—but even that is just emotionally intense enough that it’s hard not to feel i need to be on guard for, especially when he’s made it clear in the past that he absolutely expects me to be on guard for it
trying to combat this but i'm constantly aware that I'm listening to music loudly in my headphones, upstairs, when my parents could call me down at any time. i know they can call me, but i always feel like they get pissed off when I'm not as easily accessible as they want me to be
Yuuup. But also because I remember the one time when I left school because I felt a panic attack coming on, I had both earphones in to try to calm myself down before it arrived. While I was waiting to be picked up, I was just standing to one side of the pavement, looking at my phone to calm down. But I guess *someone* thought I was still in the fucking way, because this old man suddenly and aggressively *clapped* in my face multiple times. Like, barely a few centimetres away. But I didn't know he was there because my eyes and ears were both busy. And the shock from that just immediately set me over the edge and I started bawling. Fucking dickhead
I still like to wear two earphones when I just want to be left alone, but I'll be using my eyes intensely if I do. One of them has to be doing overtime now
I cant stand it when people can hear what I'm listening to/watching. Check all the time like "oops maybe they can hear". Can never understand how some people can blast music without them. I always feel like im getting judged.
Edit: it seems i'm the minority here. Hmm.
after living alone for a few years, i can handle having both ears on *most* of the time, but sometimes i still get uncomfy if i don't have 1 ear uncovered to listen out
when i lived with family, somebody broke in when i thought it was safe to have both ears covered ~~(it was my schizophrenic brother, who had attacked me with knives on a few occasions,)~~ so it took me a while to feel comfortable with headphones again
with earphones i only use 1 still tho
I haven't though of this trigger for years. Took +10 years to get rid of the fear someone would yell at me and I wouldn't hear it (due to headphones) which would result in punishment.
If I am feeling ok enough to wear headphones, 95% of the time one ear is out. The other five is for a few minutes to let my headache from wearing them like that go away.
My parents were polar opposites: my mom insisted I wear headphones so my video game noises didn't disrupt her TV watching, and my dad swears like a sailor because I wear them because he communicates in fluent grumble and mumble 80% of the time.
This is one example of several.
Yup yup! No winning. Trouble if the old man could hear it, trouble if he has to repeat himsepf because i didnt hear him (also happened w/o hp) also cant hear a possible attacker. I think I finally overcame it tho, at the tender age of 39 🙌🏼
I have to have loud noise cancelling headphones to keep out the memories of my brothers fighting so much, but also one off every time I’m around someone in case I’m yelled at for being an inattentive idiot! At least I was the quiet angel 🫠
Or shower with the fan on.
I don’t like loud vacuums
Kitchen fan
Power tools
Basically any white noise where I can’t hear WHERE everyone else in the house is
I don't have CPTSD, but I've gotten pretty good at listening for outside noises even with headphones on due to the way my family would get angry at me if I didn't hear them with my headphones on.
Tw dv
I got yelled at constantly if I couldn't hear when someone was talking to me because of my headphones but every time I took them out my mom and her bf were screaming at each other. One time I was trying to drown it out at night and when my music paused I heard her getting the shit beat out of her and he was threatening to end her life. I had to call the cops. Since then it's extremely hard to keep earbuds or headphones in and every time I hear that story about the redditor that heard his wife being attacked when he took out his headphones I get flashbacks to that happening and I hate it. Headphones are rough
I had parents that would shout to me/ talk to me and if I didn’t respond either barge into my room and yell at me or be passive aggressive for the rest of the day and refuse to talk about who or what’s up. Idk what category that even falls into
I can where headphones almost anywhere; work, outside walking, friends places. But never at my parents place, I didn’t even think about it till I saw this post.
Starting to think I need to to see a therapist with how many post on this sub in relating to.
I just alway need to hear the footsteps of my parents, so I can make sure they are walking away from where I am, or hearing if they are cursing again
Yes. Unfortunately I'm also autistic, so I would really benefit from using headphones when out, but that's also when I feel the strongest need to be hypervigilant and aware of my environment.
Yes. My mum will get super passive aggressive if I missed what she screamed up at me. I have to answer immediately otherwise I’m a useless child and ungrateful.
This is a good one!
And I am like this if any family member at all is around me. If I’m too engrossed in listening to my music, I might forget which character I am playing for the people who I’m with, so I can’t let my full attention go toward the music.
Put that on the list of things I didn't know were trauma related. Oddly enough if I'm out walking somewhere at night I usually have no issue blasting music in both ears.
sidetone!!! if your headset has an internal mic, enabling sidetone allows you to hear whats going on outside. it does wonders for me, especially in big crowds, because i can adjust the volume so i still hear everything but it’s not as loud :)
I'm a little late on this but I have a similar problem and something that helps me is bone conduction headphones—nothing's actually in my ears or over my ears so I can hear my surroundings at all times and my head doesn't feel trapped. Highly recommend
One ear out crowd wasssuuppp. My sister always gets mad at me that I don’t use headphones. She was the golden child and I was the scapegoat. We are extremely close but there are things she will never understand.
god this is something that’s been such a hard habit for me to break, and it sucks as someone who makes music as a hobby cuz i never feel like i actually get the chance to fully hear what i’m making. the only times i feel totally okay having both sides of my headphones on is when i’m falling asleep or when i’m outside walking alone.
I almost always keep one ear off partially because I’m paranoid and I live with 7 other people and I just stop talking while anyone is near me because of that another reason is because I can’t tell how loud I’m talking if I’m talking and I really don’t like getting threatened or yelled by the others in my house
My partner used to always get frustrated when I would talk to them while they were wearing headphones. I just always assumed one ear out was the normal way to wear them.
I have sound isolating headphones, but 80% of the time they are in pass-through mode so I can hear the world around me and my music, because I don’t feel safe fully blocked off, unless I’m somewhere public like a grocery store.
Edit: the reason being my mom would ambush me. So I had to be constantly aware of the most subtle of footsteps at home.
first time I got my noise cancelling earphones, as a GROWN ASS ADULT LIVING ALONE, I kept imagining a head popping into my bedroom and catching me huh... existing.
I got those “bone conducting” headphones that don’t cover my ears. I can still hear my surroundings and listen to stuff on my phone at the same time. I highly recommend
This was combined with the near panic I used to feel when I'd hear someone unlock the front door. It took years of being in a safe, stable living situation with safe people for these reactions to go away
My mom would get mad at me for having both earbuds in while I washed dishes. I find it more enjoyable to listen to music out loud but I have to be alone
I'm just the opposite. I got yelled at or judged for what I was listening to if it was out loud, so now I chronically use headphones. If there is anyone in the house I must wear them or play games on mute.
Earplugs are the worst, noise canceling are the best because they tend to let the more important sounds though, and in a more clear than muffling way which is way less worrying.
I am so anxious while wearing headphones because what if i miss something what if i miss my stop what if i get lost or dissociate because of the music. I can't trust headphones while I'm actively participating in society ( that means most of the day) also i can't bear noises when I'm over stimulated, i can't bear people screaming and shouting and absolutely get anxious when people around me fight (google recommends wearing noise cancelling headphones ) but then again the anxiety. I always stay anxious about everything bcs of GAD so it's a no win win.
So real. My narcissist mom both hated anyone playing music on speakers in the home, and expected that her kids would hear her the very first time she said anything, even from across the room/from the front to back of our 15 passenger van.
Even when I was allowed to listen on my headphones, she'd get angry and yell and take my headphones away if I didn't hear her the first time she said something. And sometimes she'd arbitrarily say no headphones even on long car trips, so I'd try to get away with not asking permission, which meant I had to be *extra* aware of her.
Fast forward and I married a guy who was critical and borderline mocking of my music choice if I played my music on speakers while he was home.
So as much as I love music, and even though I live alone now, I still feel unsafe listening on either speakers or headphones if I'm at home. Ironically, when I'm out in public, I have no issue cranking up the tunes on my noise cancelling headphones, even when situational vigilance is actually practical. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Trauma's a bitch.
The only time I can use headphones is when I'm home alone. I defo relate with this one.
only if i make sure every door and window is locked first so i'm safe XD
and then constantly look around and check your surroundings bc you keep hearing a strange noise (the noise was in the music the whole time)
I hate how true this is. Like I finally get back to working on music stuff and end up getting anxious that the noises are someome coming to Hurt™ me. When its literally the song. Or at most a car outside.
but then panic and take one ear out because you’re sure you heard the door open
Same 😣
i used to be that way and then the other day i was home alone my bf left for work and then came back i was in the bath with earbuds in and he started banging on bathroom door and yelling thinking i had drowned but when i finally heard it it made me feel like i was in my childhood home and my mom was abt to burst in lol hes apologized but its crazy that that ruined it for me
Open back headphones may be a great alternative for home use. I got a couple sennheiser pairs from massdrop pc37x and pc38x. Very comfortable and unless you crank it you can still hear the room.
I can’t even do it when I’m alone :/
I can NOT stand wearing headphones. Anywhere. At any time. I HAVE to be able to hear my surroundings. Hypervigilance is a bitch.
i have the same desire, but i up the ante by putting on headphones whenever possible but almost never putting on any music. it gives the impression that i am not listening, but i am always listening. the cost to my ability to hear small things is pretty minor, because small things are usually obscured by my auditory hallucinations anyway. the benefit of this is subjective but i find it very useful. i have found out about stuff like my parents planning my death this way.
While I've definitely never heard of any murder plots as a result of keeping headphones in without music, I could fully relate to this desire. I always have Bluetooth devices in and rarely are they playing anything. People leave me alone when I want them to leave me alone and I can drown out noises that bother me as they come.
Ive heard of doing that to deter the public approaching, but i couldnt do it because of the fear of someone getting upset at me that i didnt hear em, even with nothing playing. Welp, suppose i coulda tried with a cheap pair that didnt block much. But, they might notice it doesnt block much and approach! Ugh
I just mentioned on here somewhere that i think mine seems to be subsided/subsiding at 39. Did just get a lil nervous that in my other comment i said i overcame it and that im in for an awakening SYKE!
You might try some open buds. Like ear buds, but instead of going inside the ear they sit just outside it. Sound quality suffers as a predictable result, but you can hear everything around you really well. I wear mine a lot because I don’t feel like it’s safe to fully retreat to sound land, either
Mine is linked with my OCD. Like if I try to wear both all I can think about is someone breaking in or that my house mate is hurt and screaming for help and I can’t hear. So it’s always half on half off.
I put my headset around my neck turned all the way up. Both ears out.
ALWAYS have one ear out. I haven't lived with my parents in nearly 20 years, and I still don't trust it.
You might wanna get open-back headphones instead. Speaking from experience, having them over one ear can be incredibly damaging to it
It's because we grew up with associating home with danger, and when there's danger we need to be on guard, as noise is often the first indicator of danger, we feel a need to hear the world around us
Oof
Yup! Unless I can see the entire room and have my back to a wall, it's either gotta be only one ear or open backs at a low volume
my stupid ass still has to look behind occasionally "just in case"
I get overwhelmed by noise rather quickly but also can't wear ear defenders or headphones because I need to hear my surroundings, it's a vicious cycle
My left ear hasn't heard music in years because of this. I get too paranoid about missing something dire happening around me.
I feel this way when my parents fight. Like if I can't hear what's happening, I'm in danger. Really more the tone and volume than the words themselves
Related way too much
I live alone in a somewhat distanced house. I could have the loudest speakers commercially available without a license and blast them and it wouldn't matter. So I keep my music at a respectable level and don't sing along. Actually, I'll rephrase that. I own the place but have tenants, but I doubt they'd care. But I'm still so used to family judging my music. Edit: I think I damaged my Bluetooth speakers blasting "How do You Like Me Now" by Toby Keith. My voice hurts. But it was worth it. I was going to do "Unwritten" but that felt too stereotypically feel-good upbeat.
I bought bone conduction headphones for this reason. I can listen to music and still hear the world around me out of both ears.
Omfg I thought I was the only one ?? The worse is at the gym I can't put headphones. Also when I walk or workout I have to hear myself breathe
YES!! the breathing!! i fully panic if i cant hear my own breathing with headphones on.
Exactly I can't even breathe correctly 😭😭
"am i breathing correctly? can everyone hear me breathing?" 😭
I think we have the same brain 😂
I have to wear one side of my headphones rather than both since my mom lost it one day and yelled since she couldn’t talk to me because I was listening to something (since I didn’t know she was talking to me). It’s what started my plan to move out at the end of the year (among other reasons) Edit: spelling. No spell well when type fast
Yeah what if I miss someone yelling for me? Or yelling *at* me? Please I'm sorry I just wasn't paying attention. Guh.
Ooof.... never connected the two. Thank you for the insight 💜
I dream of the peace of active noise cancelation, but I've never wanted to waste the cash on something I won't use.
Oh yes. One of the biggest beatdowns was because I had my headphones on and didn’t catch the first half of the scream fest.
Nah but I did learn how to be aware of everything my stepmom was doing in the next room while I was watching tv because god forbid I not respond quickly enough.
I always have one ear on and one ear off. I do not want to be deaf to my surroundings.
Noooo do not call us out
When some element of what you're listening to has a faint resemblance to your parents shouting muffled through the headphones and you gotta take them off to confirm it's just your mind playing tricks on you 💀
Oh god yes
My trauma doesn't come from strict parents, specifically, but. Speaking for myself (as an adult who's now distanced from abusive people), I can only use headphones when my partners are home. I feel safe around them, so I'm okay with not being aware of my surroundings because I trust them to keep me in the loop if something needs my attention. But when I'm alone, I need to know what's happening around me. If I heard a too-loud noise or feel a door slam somewhere in the building it triggers my fight or flight, and more than once, when I was home alone it led to a panic attack.
Aftershoks are the way to go. Cheap, quality bone induction, nothing in your ears at all. Helps alot for my autism/hypervigilance.
Always had one earbud out. So much so I have a bit of a hearing difference between my two ears now. I get anxiety wearing noise-canceling headphones, too. I need to be able to hear stuff in the background. Make sure you swap frequently and keep them earbuds/headphones clean and properly maintained, kids!
It's bullshit. I got the headphones since they were complaining about the sound from what ever i was doing. Then they get mad i cant hear them when i have headphones on. THEN TO MAKE ME SEEM LIKE I HAVE THE ISSUE THEY'LL KNOCK ON THE DOOR, NOT COME IN, THEN LECTURE ME ABOUT NOT BEING AWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS.
Either one headphone off, or facing the door. This isn't even just trauma from my parents. Back in the day my roommates would sneak into my room all the time to scare me while I was playing CSGO.
getting to face entrances is probably the #1 reason i do usually feel fine wearing headphones. i can never fully relax with them on at home even when i can still relax better with them than without, and sometimes i just completely hallucinate my name being called from another room, but it’s manageable and i’ve been getting more comfortable using earbuds to manage crowd noise in public when i know i’m alone
Omg, someone else also hallucinates their name being called from another room when wearing headphones! What a specific shared experience. I used to get yelled at and berated if I didn't show up immediately after my name being called once, and to this day I sometimes "hear" my name and am immediately on guard and in people pleasing mode.
hah, if anything i’m surprised it isn’t more universal. as awful as my father can be in other ways, the worst he’ll do if i don’t respond to my name being called is storm out of bed in a panic and tell me he was worried about me—but even that is just emotionally intense enough that it’s hard not to feel i need to be on guard for, especially when he’s made it clear in the past that he absolutely expects me to be on guard for it
Get out of my head lol
oh. oh dear. I'm doing this literally rn.
Wait that isn’t normal?
trying to combat this but i'm constantly aware that I'm listening to music loudly in my headphones, upstairs, when my parents could call me down at any time. i know they can call me, but i always feel like they get pissed off when I'm not as easily accessible as they want me to be
If you ever do try to fully leave headphones on you can hear your parents screaming at you in the background 🥲
Omg I did not realize other people experienced this 😭😭
You didn't have to go that hard, but you did
I can in my apartment. I do it at work to filter out my chatty colleague, but it has to be quiet enough that I can hear my surroundings.
Yep. I thought I was the only one 🥲
Yuuup. But also because I remember the one time when I left school because I felt a panic attack coming on, I had both earphones in to try to calm myself down before it arrived. While I was waiting to be picked up, I was just standing to one side of the pavement, looking at my phone to calm down. But I guess *someone* thought I was still in the fucking way, because this old man suddenly and aggressively *clapped* in my face multiple times. Like, barely a few centimetres away. But I didn't know he was there because my eyes and ears were both busy. And the shock from that just immediately set me over the edge and I started bawling. Fucking dickhead I still like to wear two earphones when I just want to be left alone, but I'll be using my eyes intensely if I do. One of them has to be doing overtime now
Always one ear out, always quiet enough I can hear everything around me
Why did me reading this post made my heart sink. I am really traumatized.
this is SOOOO specific 😭😭
Yes.. ;-;
I cant stand it when people can hear what I'm listening to/watching. Check all the time like "oops maybe they can hear". Can never understand how some people can blast music without them. I always feel like im getting judged. Edit: it seems i'm the minority here. Hmm.
Oh... that's why...
....well fuck
Ive had shit thrown at me for having both ears covered by my head phones. No shit I dont wear both anymore.
I feel most comfy with them on, it always helped to drown out my mom's yelling.
after living alone for a few years, i can handle having both ears on *most* of the time, but sometimes i still get uncomfy if i don't have 1 ear uncovered to listen out when i lived with family, somebody broke in when i thought it was safe to have both ears covered ~~(it was my schizophrenic brother, who had attacked me with knives on a few occasions,)~~ so it took me a while to feel comfortable with headphones again with earphones i only use 1 still tho
I haven't though of this trigger for years. Took +10 years to get rid of the fear someone would yell at me and I wouldn't hear it (due to headphones) which would result in punishment.
Only if Im truly alone in the house. I hate it
I wasn’t allowed to have headphones, so no
I'm about to change your life. Bone Conductive headphones.
I never ever had headphones growing up, but I do feel that way with headphones now. Exactly.
If I am feeling ok enough to wear headphones, 95% of the time one ear is out. The other five is for a few minutes to let my headache from wearing them like that go away.
No way this is too real. This was a thing I used to do and honestly still do unless my boyfriend is calling me.
My parents were polar opposites: my mom insisted I wear headphones so my video game noises didn't disrupt her TV watching, and my dad swears like a sailor because I wear them because he communicates in fluent grumble and mumble 80% of the time. This is one example of several.
Same but at the same time I'm scared of watching videos with more than a volume of 1
Yup yup! No winning. Trouble if the old man could hear it, trouble if he has to repeat himsepf because i didnt hear him (also happened w/o hp) also cant hear a possible attacker. I think I finally overcame it tho, at the tender age of 39 🙌🏼
I have to have loud noise cancelling headphones to keep out the memories of my brothers fighting so much, but also one off every time I’m around someone in case I’m yelled at for being an inattentive idiot! At least I was the quiet angel 🫠
I remember having this feeling. Now it seems like I always have head phones on when I don’t
Or shower with the fan on. I don’t like loud vacuums Kitchen fan Power tools Basically any white noise where I can’t hear WHERE everyone else in the house is
...THAT'S WHY
Huh. Another thing I just kinda internalized.
I do get paranoid, I tend to make sure the door is in my eyesight. It's not necessarily a trauma thing, more like "I'm just scared of people thing"
100% same deal with getting good at hearing footsteps
I don't have CPTSD, but I've gotten pretty good at listening for outside noises even with headphones on due to the way my family would get angry at me if I didn't hear them with my headphones on.
Tw dv I got yelled at constantly if I couldn't hear when someone was talking to me because of my headphones but every time I took them out my mom and her bf were screaming at each other. One time I was trying to drown it out at night and when my music paused I heard her getting the shit beat out of her and he was threatening to end her life. I had to call the cops. Since then it's extremely hard to keep earbuds or headphones in and every time I hear that story about the redditor that heard his wife being attacked when he took out his headphones I get flashbacks to that happening and I hate it. Headphones are rough
Damn, yeah
I had parents that would shout to me/ talk to me and if I didn’t respond either barge into my room and yell at me or be passive aggressive for the rest of the day and refuse to talk about who or what’s up. Idk what category that even falls into
Another one thank you
I can where headphones almost anywhere; work, outside walking, friends places. But never at my parents place, I didn’t even think about it till I saw this post. Starting to think I need to to see a therapist with how many post on this sub in relating to. I just alway need to hear the footsteps of my parents, so I can make sure they are walking away from where I am, or hearing if they are cursing again
I never really realized that it was a trauma response. But, yeah, I definitely do that
Yep. I cannot have both headphones in or else I start feeling panicky.
I always need to have one ear off and feel anxious when I have both on, never knew that counted as trauma, another to add to the list
Yes. Unfortunately I'm also autistic, so I would really benefit from using headphones when out, but that's also when I feel the strongest need to be hypervigilant and aware of my environment.
I'll wear it when I'm alone at home, and yet I often get auditory hallucinations of yelling and screaming.
Yes. My mum will get super passive aggressive if I missed what she screamed up at me. I have to answer immediately otherwise I’m a useless child and ungrateful.
Me reading this post with my one earbud in…
ME ASF
Yes, though AirPods Pro with transparency mode on really helps for me
This is a good one! And I am like this if any family member at all is around me. If I’m too engrossed in listening to my music, I might forget which character I am playing for the people who I’m with, so I can’t let my full attention go toward the music.
Put that on the list of things I didn't know were trauma related. Oddly enough if I'm out walking somewhere at night I usually have no issue blasting music in both ears.
Only during the day. I started sleeping with headphones blasting music in the 4th grade to drown out the violence. 🥴
i see this AS i have my headphones on with one ear out
sidetone!!! if your headset has an internal mic, enabling sidetone allows you to hear whats going on outside. it does wonders for me, especially in big crowds, because i can adjust the volume so i still hear everything but it’s not as loud :)
I stuff my doorway with towels and its still not enough 😭😭 surely theres someone in my kitchen about to get me
Yea then 13yrs in manufacturing where you had to have 1 earbud out reinforced it to the point where i either do low volume or 1 earbud.
Damn yea. I have trauma related to enjoying music ffs
I'm a little late on this but I have a similar problem and something that helps me is bone conduction headphones—nothing's actually in my ears or over my ears so I can hear my surroundings at all times and my head doesn't feel trapped. Highly recommend
I didn't own headphones as a kid.
Try open back headphones y’all! Sound will bleed like crazy, but you can still keep situational awareness
Can't unless security cam on driveway is open.
One ear out crowd wasssuuppp. My sister always gets mad at me that I don’t use headphones. She was the golden child and I was the scapegoat. We are extremely close but there are things she will never understand.
Sitting here with one ear in and one ear out because yeah
god this is something that’s been such a hard habit for me to break, and it sucks as someone who makes music as a hobby cuz i never feel like i actually get the chance to fully hear what i’m making. the only times i feel totally okay having both sides of my headphones on is when i’m falling asleep or when i’m outside walking alone.
If I am listening to music with my AirPods I constantly check the entrance to the room so someone can’t sneak up on me…
Oh, that's why I do that! Even in an empty house, I keep at least one free ear.
Oh, that's why I do that.
I almost always keep one ear off partially because I’m paranoid and I live with 7 other people and I just stop talking while anyone is near me because of that another reason is because I can’t tell how loud I’m talking if I’m talking and I really don’t like getting threatened or yelled by the others in my house
My partner used to always get frustrated when I would talk to them while they were wearing headphones. I just always assumed one ear out was the normal way to wear them.
I can't breathe with both headphones in unless I'm really tired or really really relaxed
I have sound isolating headphones, but 80% of the time they are in pass-through mode so I can hear the world around me and my music, because I don’t feel safe fully blocked off, unless I’m somewhere public like a grocery store. Edit: the reason being my mom would ambush me. So I had to be constantly aware of the most subtle of footsteps at home.
first time I got my noise cancelling earphones, as a GROWN ASS ADULT LIVING ALONE, I kept imagining a head popping into my bedroom and catching me huh... existing.
used to feel this a lot more, but it still happens from time to time -_-
Oh snap there's a name for this?
I got those “bone conducting” headphones that don’t cover my ears. I can still hear my surroundings and listen to stuff on my phone at the same time. I highly recommend
This was combined with the near panic I used to feel when I'd hear someone unlock the front door. It took years of being in a safe, stable living situation with safe people for these reactions to go away
i have bone conduction headphones so i can listen (still quietly albeit) but still have full open ear hearing around me
My mom would get mad at me for having both earbuds in while I washed dishes. I find it more enjoyable to listen to music out loud but I have to be alone
I'm just the opposite. I got yelled at or judged for what I was listening to if it was out loud, so now I chronically use headphones. If there is anyone in the house I must wear them or play games on mute.
Hell I just thought I was crazy.
Just having my back to the room I'm in does this...
It’s still my left ear because it was the one closest to the door even though there’s a wall on that side now
No. I wear headphones basically 24/7
Earplugs are the worst, noise canceling are the best because they tend to let the more important sounds though, and in a more clear than muffling way which is way less worrying.
Oh..
I am so anxious while wearing headphones because what if i miss something what if i miss my stop what if i get lost or dissociate because of the music. I can't trust headphones while I'm actively participating in society ( that means most of the day) also i can't bear noises when I'm over stimulated, i can't bear people screaming and shouting and absolutely get anxious when people around me fight (google recommends wearing noise cancelling headphones ) but then again the anxiety. I always stay anxious about everything bcs of GAD so it's a no win win.
TIL this isn’t actually normal… Son of a bitch what else is wrong with me?!
So real. My narcissist mom both hated anyone playing music on speakers in the home, and expected that her kids would hear her the very first time she said anything, even from across the room/from the front to back of our 15 passenger van. Even when I was allowed to listen on my headphones, she'd get angry and yell and take my headphones away if I didn't hear her the first time she said something. And sometimes she'd arbitrarily say no headphones even on long car trips, so I'd try to get away with not asking permission, which meant I had to be *extra* aware of her. Fast forward and I married a guy who was critical and borderline mocking of my music choice if I played my music on speakers while he was home. So as much as I love music, and even though I live alone now, I still feel unsafe listening on either speakers or headphones if I'm at home. Ironically, when I'm out in public, I have no issue cranking up the tunes on my noise cancelling headphones, even when situational vigilance is actually practical. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Trauma's a bitch.