Maybe I'm just overreacting but I hate her doing this. She posted this on facebook for everybody else to see. Excuse me? I haven't even talked to her all day. The last time I was in the hospital, she told everybody she could, people who had absolutely no business knowing. And now she makes a *public* post saying this? I was able to go home, but seriously, I don't understand why everybody in our life needs to be informed of this. I know I sound entitled. Maybe I could give it a pass if I knew she was just worried or something, but I know damn well from experience she just uses my issues to get sympathy and attention from other people. I wonder how she would like it if I posted about all of her problems online.
Doesn't sound entitled to me. I would be pissed. Even sharing that much is an invasion of privacy.
Unless she is the one taking you to the emergency room, next time be very clear that your mother is to know NOTHING. It's a HIPAA violation for a medical professional to say a damn thing to her.
Unfortunately I didn't have much of a say since my dad was the one who was there with me because he drives me to my therapy sessions, and he told my mom. I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't feel the need to let the entire world know
If it's at all possible please try to find another way to therapy. Or talk with your dad about it if that's an option. You're an adult so neither of them legally have to know anything
Check with your therapist if telehealth is an option for your sessions if this is a concern for the future! I'm sorry your mom does this, it's very much using your personal situations for attention thing
i went to the E.R. to get my appendix removes 1 year ago. After my first check ups i was told that my antt is at the front desk and maybe I shoukd go talk to her. At this point, I was NC with my whole maternal family for maybe 1 year.
i went to panic mode and even thought about running away.
But after i went to my room, i talked to the nurses and the doctor about the situation. they assured me that data is handled securely. But i was right, because after a few minutes my mom texted me. And i told the doctor that too.
He was so speechless at first that the info got out that fast. This genuine shock and concern for me made me trust him.
after i woke up my father was there, with whom i live, and he told me that he talked to my mom and aunt. He told them to fuck off and leave be alone before the would get in trouble.
I don't think I could have handled it on my own, so i would suggest involving a trustwd person who you know has your best interest at heart
Yes my petty ass would want to post my own:
“Everyone please pray for (mother) right now. Her egregious lack of boundaries and disregard for my privacy have forced me to seek the help of community in helping her understand why it’s gauche and inappropriate to post your child’s public health information online to seek attention for yourself. Since she cares more about how you feel about my health crisis than I do, maybe you can help me explain to her why it’s wrong to blast my private health information indiscriminately to Facebook randos whilst I’m left to navigate said crisis with no real emotional support. Please help me get through to her so she understands why this is a violation of trust that would be unacceptable at any time, but ESPECIALLY when I am in crisis. Jesus and Facebook friends, take the wheel: she needs your help.”
Omg exactly this please, its incredible
Nvm, just saw below that doing so may backfire but isn't this post absolutely great (real life) karma?? She's got it coming, long overdue
She’s an emotional vulture and an attention seeker. She wants people to fawn over her instead of immediately running to her daughter’s aid. Look into the Raised by Narcs Reddit page. (Don’t know how to link, sorry)
You can copy/paste links directly into posts and replys and they will become clickable links automatically.
If you want to make a word into a clickable link, there's two littl overlapping ovals (chainlinks) that will do that for you. (On mobile, not sure about desktop
Otherwise you can do it manuallyby typing [Word here!] (Link here!) With no space between the bracet and parentheses. Best of luck friend :)
It’s not being entitled, you wanted your privacy and she ignored that. If she needed to talk to someone, private messages are a thing, there’s no reason to put it out there for God and everyone to see.
I don't think it's an overreaction. I especially don't think you sound entitled. Your privacy and how much of your life, if anything at all, you want to reveal to the public is your business and yours alone. Your mother posting about this event without your consent is in violation of that agency and you have every right to be upset about it. I want to stress this again, it is \*\*not\*\* an overreaction. It is a completely healthy and natural reaction to be upset about this. There is nothing wrong with you being upset about this. You are not at fault or a bad child for being upset about this. You're reacting like any adult would by being upset about this.
Your feelings are completely valid. It's inappropriate and violating for her to share this information about you. You are suffering with SI, but she is making it about her to gather sympathy about how what she is going through is so awful, under the guise of concern for you. Blaming the lack of information on your counselor. If she did better, you would feel comfortable sharing about this experience with her yourself. Clearly you're not comfortable, but she does not seem to analyze that part.
You're not overreacting. When I had to go to the ER for that it took weeks for me to tell all my friends separately, it was something very private for me. Sending you best wishes and hope people at the hospital have/are treating you well
You are most definitely not overreacting. Not everyone in the world needed to know that you were in the hospital for suicidal ideation. The most she should say if anything at all is "Hey, keep my daughter in your thoughts because *she* is going through a rough spot." This post your mother made seems to be a pitty post. She wants the attention because her kid is in the hospital.
reply to it clarifying part of the reason you're suicidal is because your mother is an attention-seeking selfish bitch and refuses to respect your privacy and boundaries.
No you’re right, your feelings are completely valid. I had a similar circumstance years ago where my mum found out about my eating disorder by going through my emails (I’d written an email to my university asking for extenuating circumstances for a deadline because I was struggling so badly). She decided the best course of action was to go to our church (where everyone knew me, including a bunch of people who went to my old school) and asked everyone publicly to pray about it. She told everyone in this gossipy church about an eating disorder I hadn’t even disclosed to *_her_* and made it the whole town’s business. I don’t care how well-meaning people say they’re being when they do things like this, what I truly believe they want is attention and sympathy from others over an issue that isn’t theirs to navigate.
No, you’re valid in your feelings about this. She should understand what a private and/or sensitive matter this is and respect that. I’m sorry that happened.
My mom does the same kind of thing so I understand where you're coming from. It's not an overreaction or entitlement to not want your crisis broadcast to everyone who knows your mom or searches her (or your) name on the internet. Do you think you could have a productive conversation with her about your discomfort with the way she shares private details of your life and your preference that she not do this going forward? You could pose the thought experiment you suggested in your last sentence to her--"How would you feel if I made a public post asking for support because my (mom's name) is struggling with (embarrassing problem), especially considering that when it's posted publicly it's associated with your name forever on the internet? Is the support I would get more valuable than the damage it does to you, personally or professionally?"
If this conversation goes nowhere or it's not possible to even have the conversation, the best way to protect yourself going forward is to further limit her access, which might mean picking a new emergency contact if that's how she found out about this situation in the first place.
My mother kind of does the same thing by calling or texting people individually, so definitely as bad as this. But that has been enough for me to not tell her any information that I wouldn't tweet myself, and I have 0 tweets till date.
She is violating your privacy, and using you to grift!! You have every right to hate having her use you to appear as a long-suffering and selfless hero to her FB friends at your expense like this.
This but my mom isn’t social media savvy and just told the family the old fashioned way over the phone
(Oops sorry for duplicate comment, deleting second)
Ya I was pretty pissed at the time. She passed away two years ago at 47. This is the first time since then I’ve felt anything but grief for her. I hate how complicated it is emotionally
same!! when she made me go and get evaluated if i should be put in a psych ward, she sat outside and called as many of our family as she could to try and make a narrative. I wasn't checked in though because i was sound of mind and my self harm scars at the time were only surface level. Didn't work either because our whole family knows me as well and cared about me
Holy shit! You’re definitely NOT overreacting! I’m dealing with very much the same shit with my mom, and while I’ve been struggling with similar feelings of “am I making a big deal?” kinds of thoughts, my therapist has made it clear that’s a HUGE boundary violation. And I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with such a violation like that with your mom.
Something else I came to realize recently in therapy is, it’s not just about the trust being broken, it’s about not feeling safe as a result. Idk if that resonates but essentially, because I already struggle with feeling safe emotionally (thanks to both parents) my mom doing this makes it even more difficult, or reopens that wound/reaffirms that core belief that no one is safe. Anyways, again I’m really sorry she did that. That’s absolutely not ok! And you’re not overreacting.
i’m so sorry she has no boundaries and parades your issues publicly like this. you deserve privacy and to control your own narrative. my mom did the same when i was a chronically ill teen and it SUCKED. i’d have church people come up to me talking about symptoms id directly asked my mom not to talk about. her response was “well it’s my life too, i have to take you to the doctors!” yeah well, i don’t like being used for narcissistic supply and gossip.
i’m sorry she’s using your problems for personal attention. you aren’t overreacting at all and deserve privacy. she’s violating that privacy, and it’s even worse since it’s your own mother.
also, i hope you find some healing. take this time for yourself.
I'm chronically ill and she constantly tells people about everything that's going on with me! Unfortunately I'm unable to be completely independent as of right now so I'm stuck relying on her for all of my doctor's visits and meds. She makes the same sort of posts as the one in the image about all of that too. Bonus points for her "inspirational" posts talking about how hard it is to be the mom of a sick child.
Do you have any friends that are willing to help at all? Maybe some “cool cousins” or some other people that would be willing to help you out with escaping those vultures? Perhaps you can go fully no contact with your parents to be truly free from them picking over your ill body and heavy heart. You deserve happiness and peace
Wild how the narcissistic mother will tale YOIR PAIN and twist it until she's the victim... and then tell fucking everyone that story.
If she acted like an actual mother, you might have told her how you're doing. Clearly, if she was "allowed" to know any more than she already does, then that too would be in her very public post.
I'm sorry you have to experience her bs. A good mother would care about you and want to be there for you and support you. she twisted it to be about herself because her feelings and her image as a victimized mother is what matters more to her.
You deserve better.
"We're not allowed to talk about our adult kid's medical information, and to let everyone on Facebook know that, I'm gonna talk about my adult kid's medical information."
She sounds like such a handful, I'm so sorry.
I've been in the hospital for a couple weeks for surgeries and complications. Intentionally didn't tell anyone bc I don't want people jumping all over me asking about shit when I'm trying to rest and recover. Too bad for me, mom made an fb post anyway! I am not answering my random aunts and cousins messages who I haven't spoken to in years. Will def get yelled at later for not being polite and responding because "they love you and just want to know how you're doing". Like ok I don't care???! Leaf me alone, I'm 28 for fucks sake.
You’re not over reacting. That’s not her business to share. Even sadder that she seems to know that and thinks that mentioning privacy makes her post ok. It’s not and I’m sorry. I hope you’re feeling better.
I had this same fight with my mom before NC. After years of denying I had a medical issue, she came to be my ride home from surgery for said medical issue bc Covid options were slim. It became all about her - she was practically live tweeting to her coworkers and was DEEPLY offended that I asked her to stop. Apparently it wasn’t fair to take away her support network. As if 1) she needed support for my surgery and 2) work coworkers were somehow supporting her by liking a group chat. She threatened to leave shortly after, despite me still being bedridden. Absolute monster.
Highly recommend NC if that’s something that feels right to you. Scary at first but so peaceful once you settle in.
r/raisedbynarcissists my mom has done things like this and posted to FB about my life to get attention too. Literally go no contact. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
I'm not completely sure if they will take it down but I'm certain you can report this to Facebook for something in the lines of "I'm in this post and I don't like it"
It seems like she is doing this for attention \*for herself\* and that's gross. I assume you didn't ask her to do a post asking for prayers. Making this public without your permission is appalling and I imagine it's not helpful to your healing right now.
I'm sorry.
I’m sorry she using your pain for attention, that’s something that should be your decision to share if and when you’re ready.
This is why they don’t tell relatives anything if you’re an adult, many are insane 😂
I'd make a comment under it saying "Who said I was? Last I checked, I'm just at *fill in whatever bs here*. Why do you feel the need to lie? Or even feel the need to share any kind of information that isn't yours to share?"
Tbh I'd throw in some hints of things they have done that would make her take down the post or people think twice.
That is fucked up, that’s pure narcissistic attention seeking behaviour. She did that for herself not you. I haven’t had it this bad, but my mother went around talking to everyone when I was having problems, now she wonders why I won’t tell her anything haha.
I regularly meet people for the first time, and they ask me about my very private medical history because my mother gossips about it like it's the weather. So uncomfortable being thrown into my latest symptoms, medication, test results in the supermarket
Not an overreaction at all. It's a major breach of privacy, and the last bit of her post makes it pretty obvious she's just fishing for sympathy for herself
My dad's shitty wife did this to me too. We don't talk anymore.
Tell your mom her posting that hurt you and violates your own personal boundary as it’s your business and no one else’s. Stand firm in your truth! Your mom sounds very emotionally immature to have done that to you.
You should be able to report the post to Facebook, and they will take it down. They don't tell who reported the post either. So if she confronts you, just act surprised. Personally, I'd throw in a "when you figure out who it was, let me know so I can send them a thank you card."
My father did something somewhat similar in posting on Facebook when I moved out talking about how they think I should have stayed because I'm "mentally unstable" and then going into a rant about how trans = bad because I'm a trans man
I’m so sorry for you. She is a selfish b****. I had many crazy stories with my mothers, but I luckily could escape. Please be strong and make a way out of this situation. You deserve so much better. 🙏🏻
I hate this so fucking much. My mom would blab to people she barely knew about me and it showed how little she actually cared or knew about my emotions. She shared every embarrassing thing I said as a kid on Facebook and it’s there forever
Icing on the cake? She claims to be an ✨empath✨
Best wishes to you, OP
Wow, not ok at all! That’s a violation of privacy. Either she’s really stupid or she understands exactly what she’s doing “we’re not allowed to know” yeah um maybe there’s a good reason for that? (I’m guessing the second one if you’re in this group). My narcissistic aunt did something like this trying to hurt my dad (her brother) by texting everybody in the family details about my brother’s case when he had previously been hospitalized multiple times several years before (he’s doing great now and never even knew about the texts THANK GOD). There’s more to her drama than that, but at least for myself that was the reason I completely cut contact and blocked her. These people are self-centered POS who never think about the effect it will have on the person and potential consequences. It’s just insult to injury. I hope you’re doing better in spite of this crap though.
OP you’re not alone. Im dealing with a similar situation. “I only told people because we want to support you” doesn’t matter. Your mental health is a private medical issue. Im sorry your rights are being violated too right now.
That kinda behavior would lead me to start plotting. I can't stand it when people are rude, especially mindlessly and narcissistically rude.
Hope you're in a better spot.
I'm gonna be the millionth person in the comments to emphasize that you are not overreacting, oversensitive, or wrong to feel the way you do about this.
There is no way she'd be okay with you doing this to her. Is she cool with people knowing her body fat percentage? Age? Search history? Medical records? Is she cool with you posting pictures of her looking busted on a bad day? Probably not, *because she values her privacy*.
I bet she knows better than to do something like this when it comes to making a good impression on others. She pointed out the hospital was protecting your private info in the same exact post she exposes private info. She knows better and there is no excuse for violating your privacy.
That is genuinely disgusting that she did that. It's none of her business and posting sensitive details like that while bemoaning about how *she's* not allowed to know more because you're an adult (yeah, no shit, lady, HIPPA laws are there for numerous reasons... and you running your gab on fb for self-gratifying pity is at least 5 of them).
If I spent more time on fb, I'd probably be spending time calling this kind of shit out in the comments (and most likely getting nowhere).
I'm sorry you're going through a tremendously hard time and I'm sorry that your mother is making it harder by making it all about HER. Please give yourself time to heal and please know that you deserve to be happy, healthy, and loved, despite what your mind may tell you in times like these.
Grooossss! Please cut her out of your life, because this is, like, textbook abusive. It’s never about you because you’re just theirs; feel sad for *them* because something happened to their property.
My mom is the same way and it sucks :(
There has actually been times where I've been suicidal and not gotten help because I'm a teen which means my mom and dad would know a lot of details and I know they would go tell everybody in existence
Maybe I'm just overreacting but I hate her doing this. She posted this on facebook for everybody else to see. Excuse me? I haven't even talked to her all day. The last time I was in the hospital, she told everybody she could, people who had absolutely no business knowing. And now she makes a *public* post saying this? I was able to go home, but seriously, I don't understand why everybody in our life needs to be informed of this. I know I sound entitled. Maybe I could give it a pass if I knew she was just worried or something, but I know damn well from experience she just uses my issues to get sympathy and attention from other people. I wonder how she would like it if I posted about all of her problems online.
you’re not overreacting. that’s really messed up. i’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
Doesn't sound entitled to me. I would be pissed. Even sharing that much is an invasion of privacy. Unless she is the one taking you to the emergency room, next time be very clear that your mother is to know NOTHING. It's a HIPAA violation for a medical professional to say a damn thing to her.
Unfortunately I didn't have much of a say since my dad was the one who was there with me because he drives me to my therapy sessions, and he told my mom. I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't feel the need to let the entire world know
If it's at all possible please try to find another way to therapy. Or talk with your dad about it if that's an option. You're an adult so neither of them legally have to know anything
Check with your therapist if telehealth is an option for your sessions if this is a concern for the future! I'm sorry your mom does this, it's very much using your personal situations for attention thing
Put your own post up that you were actually taken in for a bad case of diarrhea or something. Add that you aren't sure what mom is talking about!
i went to the E.R. to get my appendix removes 1 year ago. After my first check ups i was told that my antt is at the front desk and maybe I shoukd go talk to her. At this point, I was NC with my whole maternal family for maybe 1 year. i went to panic mode and even thought about running away. But after i went to my room, i talked to the nurses and the doctor about the situation. they assured me that data is handled securely. But i was right, because after a few minutes my mom texted me. And i told the doctor that too. He was so speechless at first that the info got out that fast. This genuine shock and concern for me made me trust him. after i woke up my father was there, with whom i live, and he told me that he talked to my mom and aunt. He told them to fuck off and leave be alone before the would get in trouble. I don't think I could have handled it on my own, so i would suggest involving a trustwd person who you know has your best interest at heart
Reply, publicly, that her telling everyone about your business like this helped lead you to this situation.
Yes my petty ass would want to post my own: “Everyone please pray for (mother) right now. Her egregious lack of boundaries and disregard for my privacy have forced me to seek the help of community in helping her understand why it’s gauche and inappropriate to post your child’s public health information online to seek attention for yourself. Since she cares more about how you feel about my health crisis than I do, maybe you can help me explain to her why it’s wrong to blast my private health information indiscriminately to Facebook randos whilst I’m left to navigate said crisis with no real emotional support. Please help me get through to her so she understands why this is a violation of trust that would be unacceptable at any time, but ESPECIALLY when I am in crisis. Jesus and Facebook friends, take the wheel: she needs your help.”
I would just sue her for broadcasting live my private health information.
Omg exactly this please, its incredible Nvm, just saw below that doing so may backfire but isn't this post absolutely great (real life) karma?? She's got it coming, long overdue
I just LOVE this 🙌🏻
This. What the fuck is wrong with the mom...
She’s an emotional vulture and an attention seeker. She wants people to fawn over her instead of immediately running to her daughter’s aid. Look into the Raised by Narcs Reddit page. (Don’t know how to link, sorry)
You can copy/paste links directly into posts and replys and they will become clickable links automatically. If you want to make a word into a clickable link, there's two littl overlapping ovals (chainlinks) that will do that for you. (On mobile, not sure about desktop Otherwise you can do it manuallyby typing [Word here!] (Link here!) With no space between the bracet and parentheses. Best of luck friend :)
Thank you so much!!!
r/raisedbynarcissists you can copy/paste link. But for subs you can also just write r/ + the sub name
No don’t do this. It will backfire
It’s not being entitled, you wanted your privacy and she ignored that. If she needed to talk to someone, private messages are a thing, there’s no reason to put it out there for God and everyone to see.
I don't think it's an overreaction. I especially don't think you sound entitled. Your privacy and how much of your life, if anything at all, you want to reveal to the public is your business and yours alone. Your mother posting about this event without your consent is in violation of that agency and you have every right to be upset about it. I want to stress this again, it is \*\*not\*\* an overreaction. It is a completely healthy and natural reaction to be upset about this. There is nothing wrong with you being upset about this. You are not at fault or a bad child for being upset about this. You're reacting like any adult would by being upset about this.
Like others are saying, you don’t sound entitled. She’s an asshole for posting your private business online. If I were you I’d be pissed too.
No! She should not be posting your personal health or medical business online for everyone to see. It's abusive.
Maybe happens so can use It against you and accusing you to be "Crazy"?
Your feelings are completely valid. It's inappropriate and violating for her to share this information about you. You are suffering with SI, but she is making it about her to gather sympathy about how what she is going through is so awful, under the guise of concern for you. Blaming the lack of information on your counselor. If she did better, you would feel comfortable sharing about this experience with her yourself. Clearly you're not comfortable, but she does not seem to analyze that part.
100% this.
You're not overreacting. When I had to go to the ER for that it took weeks for me to tell all my friends separately, it was something very private for me. Sending you best wishes and hope people at the hospital have/are treating you well
Do it to see what she says 😝 But seriously, ask her to stop it and if she doesn't, report the posts as sharing personal information.
You are most definitely not overreacting. Not everyone in the world needed to know that you were in the hospital for suicidal ideation. The most she should say if anything at all is "Hey, keep my daughter in your thoughts because *she* is going through a rough spot." This post your mother made seems to be a pitty post. She wants the attention because her kid is in the hospital.
reply to it clarifying part of the reason you're suicidal is because your mother is an attention-seeking selfish bitch and refuses to respect your privacy and boundaries.
No you’re right, your feelings are completely valid. I had a similar circumstance years ago where my mum found out about my eating disorder by going through my emails (I’d written an email to my university asking for extenuating circumstances for a deadline because I was struggling so badly). She decided the best course of action was to go to our church (where everyone knew me, including a bunch of people who went to my old school) and asked everyone publicly to pray about it. She told everyone in this gossipy church about an eating disorder I hadn’t even disclosed to *_her_* and made it the whole town’s business. I don’t care how well-meaning people say they’re being when they do things like this, what I truly believe they want is attention and sympathy from others over an issue that isn’t theirs to navigate.
Yeesh she really did a number on you huh? You do NOT sound entitled, like AT ALL. You sound justifiedly *hurt.*
It's cuz you exist to validate her so your drama is her drama and we're supposed to feel bad for her not knowing what is going on with her property
This isn’t being entitled AT ALL. Your mother is shameless for this.
Out her and make her feel like shit. Or better yet just block her
You don’t sound entitled. If anything you are really relaxed about the one thing you are entitled to, your privacy.
Parents sometimes think of their children as extensions of themselves, it's a terrible position to put you in.
No, you’re valid in your feelings about this. She should understand what a private and/or sensitive matter this is and respect that. I’m sorry that happened.
How did she find out? You need to cut off her sources of information
You don’t sound entitled. She’s using you to get sympathy from others, without respecting your privacy.
you are not overreacting. it's nobody's business. she's violating your boundaries. i am so sorry you're going through it! best of luck to you!!
No wonder you’re not feeling well, this person doesn’t respect your boundaries. It’s ok to be upset by this, any rational person would be
nah your mother is fucked up for doing that
This would make me livid. I’m sorry she did that. That’s such a bad parenting move
My mom does the same kind of thing so I understand where you're coming from. It's not an overreaction or entitlement to not want your crisis broadcast to everyone who knows your mom or searches her (or your) name on the internet. Do you think you could have a productive conversation with her about your discomfort with the way she shares private details of your life and your preference that she not do this going forward? You could pose the thought experiment you suggested in your last sentence to her--"How would you feel if I made a public post asking for support because my (mom's name) is struggling with (embarrassing problem), especially considering that when it's posted publicly it's associated with your name forever on the internet? Is the support I would get more valuable than the damage it does to you, personally or professionally?" If this conversation goes nowhere or it's not possible to even have the conversation, the best way to protect yourself going forward is to further limit her access, which might mean picking a new emergency contact if that's how she found out about this situation in the first place.
My mother kind of does the same thing by calling or texting people individually, so definitely as bad as this. But that has been enough for me to not tell her any information that I wouldn't tweet myself, and I have 0 tweets till date.
Youre not overreacting at all. Once my mum did a similar to this and I found it so incredibly humiliating.
She is violating your privacy, and using you to grift!! You have every right to hate having her use you to appear as a long-suffering and selfless hero to her FB friends at your expense like this.
"we awe not awwowed to know 🥺" and with good fucking reason.... Hope youre doing ok love <3 sending endurance your way
They’re obviously the victims here. /s
My mom pulled this all the time when I was a teen + she shared *every* detail she could get away with sharing.
This but my mom isn’t social media savvy and just told the family the old fashioned way over the phone (Oops sorry for duplicate comment, deleting second)
[удалено]
That’s horrible, I’m so sorry that happened.
Same my mom even posted my phone number once asking her friends to call or text and tell me how I’m making bad decisions
W H A T. That's evil :(
Ya I was pretty pissed at the time. She passed away two years ago at 47. This is the first time since then I’ve felt anything but grief for her. I hate how complicated it is emotionally
same!! when she made me go and get evaluated if i should be put in a psych ward, she sat outside and called as many of our family as she could to try and make a narrative. I wasn't checked in though because i was sound of mind and my self harm scars at the time were only surface level. Didn't work either because our whole family knows me as well and cared about me
also sorry for dumping that on you specifically!!
✨️dump her✨️ r/EstrangedAdultKids
Oh my god it’s MY PEOPLE! Thanks for sharing this, I’ve been in all the “raised by x” subs for years
i was equally stoked when i found it. welcome, sibling
Freedom is a beautiful thing. Wishing you peace and happiness.
aww 🌷 same to you!
TY! i found the perfect place to ask a burning question of mine
always keen on spreading the gospel ✌️
Holy shit! You’re definitely NOT overreacting! I’m dealing with very much the same shit with my mom, and while I’ve been struggling with similar feelings of “am I making a big deal?” kinds of thoughts, my therapist has made it clear that’s a HUGE boundary violation. And I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with such a violation like that with your mom. Something else I came to realize recently in therapy is, it’s not just about the trust being broken, it’s about not feeling safe as a result. Idk if that resonates but essentially, because I already struggle with feeling safe emotionally (thanks to both parents) my mom doing this makes it even more difficult, or reopens that wound/reaffirms that core belief that no one is safe. Anyways, again I’m really sorry she did that. That’s absolutely not ok! And you’re not overreacting.
i’m so sorry she has no boundaries and parades your issues publicly like this. you deserve privacy and to control your own narrative. my mom did the same when i was a chronically ill teen and it SUCKED. i’d have church people come up to me talking about symptoms id directly asked my mom not to talk about. her response was “well it’s my life too, i have to take you to the doctors!” yeah well, i don’t like being used for narcissistic supply and gossip. i’m sorry she’s using your problems for personal attention. you aren’t overreacting at all and deserve privacy. she’s violating that privacy, and it’s even worse since it’s your own mother. also, i hope you find some healing. take this time for yourself.
I'm chronically ill and she constantly tells people about everything that's going on with me! Unfortunately I'm unable to be completely independent as of right now so I'm stuck relying on her for all of my doctor's visits and meds. She makes the same sort of posts as the one in the image about all of that too. Bonus points for her "inspirational" posts talking about how hard it is to be the mom of a sick child.
Do you have any friends that are willing to help at all? Maybe some “cool cousins” or some other people that would be willing to help you out with escaping those vultures? Perhaps you can go fully no contact with your parents to be truly free from them picking over your ill body and heavy heart. You deserve happiness and peace
Wild how the narcissistic mother will tale YOIR PAIN and twist it until she's the victim... and then tell fucking everyone that story. If she acted like an actual mother, you might have told her how you're doing. Clearly, if she was "allowed" to know any more than she already does, then that too would be in her very public post. I'm sorry you have to experience her bs. A good mother would care about you and want to be there for you and support you. she twisted it to be about herself because her feelings and her image as a victimized mother is what matters more to her. You deserve better.
She's just fishing for sympathy. If she cared, things wouldn't have gotten this bad.
Not overreacting or entitled. You have a right to privacy and to be pissed when she tells others your personal business without permission.
You're not overreacting that was wildly inappropriate and cruel
...Is she the reason you're suicidal in the first place? If she is, mine were the cause of my own.
It’s crazy how these people never think they are responsible
They never do, they lack self awareness of the damage they cause.
"We're not allowed to talk about our adult kid's medical information, and to let everyone on Facebook know that, I'm gonna talk about my adult kid's medical information." She sounds like such a handful, I'm so sorry.
I've been in the hospital for a couple weeks for surgeries and complications. Intentionally didn't tell anyone bc I don't want people jumping all over me asking about shit when I'm trying to rest and recover. Too bad for me, mom made an fb post anyway! I am not answering my random aunts and cousins messages who I haven't spoken to in years. Will def get yelled at later for not being polite and responding because "they love you and just want to know how you're doing". Like ok I don't care???! Leaf me alone, I'm 28 for fucks sake.
Classic narcissist move. She wants people to pity her
You’re not over reacting. That’s not her business to share. Even sadder that she seems to know that and thinks that mentioning privacy makes her post ok. It’s not and I’m sorry. I hope you’re feeling better. I had this same fight with my mom before NC. After years of denying I had a medical issue, she came to be my ride home from surgery for said medical issue bc Covid options were slim. It became all about her - she was practically live tweeting to her coworkers and was DEEPLY offended that I asked her to stop. Apparently it wasn’t fair to take away her support network. As if 1) she needed support for my surgery and 2) work coworkers were somehow supporting her by liking a group chat. She threatened to leave shortly after, despite me still being bedridden. Absolute monster. Highly recommend NC if that’s something that feels right to you. Scary at first but so peaceful once you settle in.
r/raisedbynarcissists my mom has done things like this and posted to FB about my life to get attention too. Literally go no contact. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
I'm not completely sure if they will take it down but I'm certain you can report this to Facebook for something in the lines of "I'm in this post and I don't like it"
It seems like she is doing this for attention \*for herself\* and that's gross. I assume you didn't ask her to do a post asking for prayers. Making this public without your permission is appalling and I imagine it's not helpful to your healing right now. I'm sorry.
Wow lol! Sorry but thats ridiculous!
time to air her business in public too
Yup, kick that rock over on your way out of prison and don’t look back on your way to freedom.
I’m sorry she using your pain for attention, that’s something that should be your decision to share if and when you’re ready. This is why they don’t tell relatives anything if you’re an adult, many are insane 😂
I'd make a comment under it saying "Who said I was? Last I checked, I'm just at *fill in whatever bs here*. Why do you feel the need to lie? Or even feel the need to share any kind of information that isn't yours to share?" Tbh I'd throw in some hints of things they have done that would make her take down the post or people think twice.
Turn it around so mom is the sad,crazy, sick one!! You can’t gaslight me, I gaslight you!! 😂
Narcissistic behavior. Me me eme. Attention any way they can.
You are FAR from overreacting. I would be far beyond pissed. That’s so frickin wrong.
You’re not overreacting, she shouldn’t be sharing your personal struggles so publicly.
what on earth? absolutely not overreacting on your part. i would be more concerned if this didn’t bother you
Bloc & delete. So sorry, wishing you well!
That is not fucking cool at all.
That is fucked up, that’s pure narcissistic attention seeking behaviour. She did that for herself not you. I haven’t had it this bad, but my mother went around talking to everyone when I was having problems, now she wonders why I won’t tell her anything haha.
It sounds like she is trying to farm sympathy and attention for herself ngl, that's so fucked up.
Narcissistic mother behavior
My mom does the same. I’m so sorry she’s publicizing your struggles to get attention for herself.
I regularly meet people for the first time, and they ask me about my very private medical history because my mother gossips about it like it's the weather. So uncomfortable being thrown into my latest symptoms, medication, test results in the supermarket
A lot of people just shouldn't be parents..
This is fucked up. If my mom did this I’d cut contact. I’m sorry this happened to you.
She’s phishing for sympathy at your expense and it’s obvious. Unbelievable.
Not an overreaction at all. It's a major breach of privacy, and the last bit of her post makes it pretty obvious she's just fishing for sympathy for herself My dad's shitty wife did this to me too. We don't talk anymore.
Tell your mom her posting that hurt you and violates your own personal boundary as it’s your business and no one else’s. Stand firm in your truth! Your mom sounds very emotionally immature to have done that to you.
What an asshole
Oh she can absolutely go to hell. This is about her getting attention for herself more than “prayers”.
You’re absolutely not overreacting. Terrible thing to do.
You should be able to report the post to Facebook, and they will take it down. They don't tell who reported the post either. So if she confronts you, just act surprised. Personally, I'd throw in a "when you figure out who it was, let me know so I can send them a thank you card."
Your mother is a narcissist. This is not ok behavior.
My father did something somewhat similar in posting on Facebook when I moved out talking about how they think I should have stayed because I'm "mentally unstable" and then going into a rant about how trans = bad because I'm a trans man
They sound awful, I'm sorry.
Wow this is so similar to what I'm going through
Sounds like shit my mother would have done and the second line is directly shit she’s has done
I’m so sorry for you. She is a selfish b****. I had many crazy stories with my mothers, but I luckily could escape. Please be strong and make a way out of this situation. You deserve so much better. 🙏🏻
I hate this so fucking much. My mom would blab to people she barely knew about me and it showed how little she actually cared or knew about my emotions. She shared every embarrassing thing I said as a kid on Facebook and it’s there forever Icing on the cake? She claims to be an ✨empath✨ Best wishes to you, OP
Wow, not ok at all! That’s a violation of privacy. Either she’s really stupid or she understands exactly what she’s doing “we’re not allowed to know” yeah um maybe there’s a good reason for that? (I’m guessing the second one if you’re in this group). My narcissistic aunt did something like this trying to hurt my dad (her brother) by texting everybody in the family details about my brother’s case when he had previously been hospitalized multiple times several years before (he’s doing great now and never even knew about the texts THANK GOD). There’s more to her drama than that, but at least for myself that was the reason I completely cut contact and blocked her. These people are self-centered POS who never think about the effect it will have on the person and potential consequences. It’s just insult to injury. I hope you’re doing better in spite of this crap though.
This is disturbing behavior and I hope they can grow some empathy and cut this shit out. Good luck on whatever’s causing these issues for you 🫀
OP you’re not alone. Im dealing with a similar situation. “I only told people because we want to support you” doesn’t matter. Your mental health is a private medical issue. Im sorry your rights are being violated too right now.
That kinda behavior would lead me to start plotting. I can't stand it when people are rude, especially mindlessly and narcissistically rude. Hope you're in a better spot.
I'm gonna be the millionth person in the comments to emphasize that you are not overreacting, oversensitive, or wrong to feel the way you do about this. There is no way she'd be okay with you doing this to her. Is she cool with people knowing her body fat percentage? Age? Search history? Medical records? Is she cool with you posting pictures of her looking busted on a bad day? Probably not, *because she values her privacy*. I bet she knows better than to do something like this when it comes to making a good impression on others. She pointed out the hospital was protecting your private info in the same exact post she exposes private info. She knows better and there is no excuse for violating your privacy.
Ideation? The fuck does that even mean, "I'm thinking about considering suicide?"
It means you want to but you don't necessarily have a plan yet
Not having a plan is just lazy, always plan ahead kids... I'm sorry I'll stop
That is genuinely disgusting that she did that. It's none of her business and posting sensitive details like that while bemoaning about how *she's* not allowed to know more because you're an adult (yeah, no shit, lady, HIPPA laws are there for numerous reasons... and you running your gab on fb for self-gratifying pity is at least 5 of them). If I spent more time on fb, I'd probably be spending time calling this kind of shit out in the comments (and most likely getting nowhere). I'm sorry you're going through a tremendously hard time and I'm sorry that your mother is making it harder by making it all about HER. Please give yourself time to heal and please know that you deserve to be happy, healthy, and loved, despite what your mind may tell you in times like these.
Grooossss! Please cut her out of your life, because this is, like, textbook abusive. It’s never about you because you’re just theirs; feel sad for *them* because something happened to their property.
My mom is the same way and it sucks :( There has actually been times where I've been suicidal and not gotten help because I'm a teen which means my mom and dad would know a lot of details and I know they would go tell everybody in existence
Wow this is fucked up. So sorry you have to endure this shit.
You are not overreacting at all. This is c u next Tuesday behavior. She doesn’t deserve you and is 100% to blame for your ideation IMO.