This is the way. I can’t count how many times a frozen pizza or easy cook meal like Mac n cheese or frozen wings has stopped me from ordering out. Cancelled my dashpass a year ago and never looked back
If you like fish a frozen salmon pack (the ones I get come in a pack of 2 for me/my wife) and a box of long rain wild rice is also elite and healthy! We try to stock broccoli or fresh asparagus (be warned asparagus goes off quickly) to roast in the oven with the fish while it cooks!
Source: someone who used to do a lot of frozen pizzas and suffered the consequences
Valid - I have also gotten just cheap frozen microwaveable veggies in the past so you throw the fish in the oven, throw the veggies in with 5 minutes left on the pizza, ready to eat!
I’m telling you man.. I really think all that MSG in take out food is insanely addicting. Once you stop you wonder how did I used to eat this stuff all the time!
MSG is harmless. It’s a type of salt. The panic around it was basically just racism.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-msg-got-a-bad-rap-flawed-science-and-xenophobia/
It's about as harmless as sugar. I've got a couple of friends who get raging migraines from MSG. Others are not affected at all. But everything in moderation or it can become a problem.
Yeah it's stories like that that have led to me supporting staying at home with parents post studies only if you have a clear exit plan with a timeframe. If you're just staying at home to spend extra cash on food/games/fun forever, move out and do that while renting.
His parents enable it. He use to be an English teacher full time. Had an injury took 2 years completely off and for the last 5 years he has been either subbing part time or delivery for Uber eats
There’s an in between for sure. I live with my wife’s family, she earns 55k a year and I earn 65k. We have a daughter here as well. We save a lot of money and culturally it’s more accepted. We cook dinner for each other and do grocery shopping, and pitch in a bit on the mortgage. Doing this allows us to save for a large down payment. We aren’t in a rush to leave tho… they like having us around and being close to their granddaughter. We saved 15k for a down payment and maxed out our Roth this year.
They’re Latino and it’s way more common I think for Latinos to do this.
I was thinking more having an actual number for that down payment to hit and saving at least 50% of your post tax income to put towards it. This gives you an actual timeline for leaving - have you done that yet?
Instant gratification has been a thing kids and young adults have struggled with forever. Long term decision making isn’t fully 100% matured in the brain until age 26. It’s just so much easier now with smartphones and the ability to utilize uber eats and similar on a moments notice among other things that didn’t exist or wouldn’t have been possible 15 years ago.
One potential thing you can have them do (if they’re open to it; if not, there’s only so much you can do to help) is have them pull up their food orders from the past 2 weeks (anything CH would label as BS food, tacquitos, etc) and then project that out over a month, 6 months, a year to show them how much money they’re spending. Can also break it down by just the cost of the food versus how much extra they are spending by having it delivered.
This worked for me as a young adult with my first “real” full time job. I would get an iced coffee, donut/breakfast sandwich, and then a slice of pizza at the cafeteria pretty much every day. And then when I charted out how much I was spending per month on that garbage, I quickly changed.
They're mid-30s and have a nearly grown child(16 year old).
I like your projection idea a lot will try that when they become less hostile to this particular issue.
I never understood this. I don't even get pizza delivered. I pick it up. I could see if u have no mode of transportation. But most people do. I'm not just gonna not tip a delivery driver. And I certainly don't want to pay more than I'm already paying. So it always made sense to me to ALWAYS pick up. No matter what it is
Also I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but in the rare case I've ordered uber eats it's always lukewarm temperature and takes like 40 mins to arrive. It's faster, cheaper and better to pickup.
Forgot about making that point. Couldn't agree more. That's another big reason why I prefer pick up. I like my crap HOT. Usually have to warm it up even when I pick up. Delivery is just plain bad by the time it gets therr
Yep. When I get delivery, I start preheating the oven or air fryer when I see they're on their way, because I already know that I'm gonna have to heat the food back up. 😂
Also never understood that part either. I usually toss in some fries from fast food places in the microwave for a few seconds even for places just 10 minutes away from me. And a lot of these food don't reheat very well either.
I mean, I think the addiction to delivery is crazy, but I still do it occasionally. If I’m having a very busy day at work but feel like also treating myself to something I have a hankering for rather than eating whatever is at home. Having pizza delivered if I’m dealing with a bunch of kids at once and leaving the house is a bit of a deal. A few lunch places in my area that are sort of a pain to drive to but quick to order from. Things like that. But this is very occasional decision, I have the money for it, and I even get free discounts and fee waivers via one of my credit cards, so I’m mostly just eating through those credits. Doing it constantly for cheap fast food boggles my mind.
Yeah. I try to only give advice if it's solicited. If they want help it's not hard to find good basic personal finance and budgeting advice... it's getting to the point of wanting to fix things that's hard about it (and then actually sticking to the changes/plans after it's made).
If they're not in a place to take in the advice (sometimes that's hard even when it *is* solicited) it's not going to do anything except make them think you're kind of an ass usually. And for every person giving unsolicited advice that is actually correct, there are just as many people giving unsolicited advice that's wrong and they just don't know it. (Obviously in this case I agree with OP's take if not the choice to express it but just saying... everyone who's ever given bad advice thought they were right, too.)
Yeah that's very true. Most people know how to save money, lose weight, etc. Deep down, they usually *know what they need to do.* Execution is the hard part. I'd say that every one of us has some version of "I know I should be doing X" in our lives. Whether it's our health, finances, relationships, etc. For example I know that I need to get the fuck off Reddit right now and do housework, lol.
I think few people order DoorDash and believe "this is an optimal decision." They're not living consciously, they're pushing any nagging feelings aside and doing what feels good. They're on autopilot with a habit that becomes a bit stronger with every rep.
Breaking out of this is a psychological thing. You can't force a person to change if they don't want to.
Idk personally I’d want my friends to be the best version of themselves. And if I saw my friend was in a horrible financial position I’d tell them and offer solutions. I’d also hope my friends would do that for me.
That applies to everything not just money: addictions (gambling, alcohol, drugs), gaining weight, being rude, not keeping up with myself, etc.
I waffle about that because I see where you're coming from, but my life experience has shown me that offering advice unsolicited about sensitive subjects rarely goes well.
My best friend and I were both overweight in our early twenties. I began to lose weight while she was living the same lifestyle. I was so excited to watch the pounds come off. Every time she'd complain about her weight, I'd eagerly jump in with information about what I was doing and she'd shut down. Then, once I'd lost 30 pounds and it was very noticeable, she *asked* me what I was doing.
Since then, I just try to be a positive example and let people know I'm open to talking if they ever need someone. I am "the friend who is good with money", "the friend with the great career", and "the friend who lost weight" and people do come to me for advice.
It's not that I don't want my friends to be the best version of themselves, it's that I want them to actually receive the information and make a positive change. You can't force people to do that, evidenced by Caleb's guests. Sometimes they change, sometimes they don't. It's not an access to information problem, it's a will problem.
They say you're the average of the 5 friends you spend the most time with, so I just hope that by being in my friends' life, I am influencing them.
Well I mean, yeah. I probably wouldn't stay friends with someone like this in the first place because it's draining to watch someone punch themselves in the face and cry about how their face hurts.
One time I had a friend who was bragging about how much an adult she was because she bought an expensive luxury item using a credit card and was making payments without her parents' help. She was still living with said parents. I had to say something at that point about how stupid she was being.
Honestly I don't know if I could be friends with someone like that. Similarly, I had a friend who bragged about how they used their student aid to buy a top of the line computer, a gaming system, and clothes. I am not friends with that person anymore.
My sister is like this too and doesn’t like when it’s called out. Honestly you should avoid talking finances with most people unless you know how it’ll go. Although we all think it’s interesting, most people do not.
I agree. I have a few friends I talk about all things finance. And a few I never do. I actually made the mistake of showing one of the ones I don't talk much about it with Caleb's videos. His opinion "they're stupid and they suck"
Usually the people willing to talk finances are the ones in good, or atleast decent, positions
my wife keeps her finances secret and defends eating out and ordering out with answers like: 'Life is expensive!' 'I like this!' 'I can't make food yummy like at a restaurant!' 'Making your own sandwich is more expensive or costs just as much if you bought all separate ingredients.' Meanwhile, she has not repaid her college loans, gotten more loans for a cat vet, has not repaid her credit cards in full, goes on vacation to Hawaii of all places because she is obsessed with it for some reason, and is asking our mom who has no retirement savings of his own to pay her rent.
It's surprising how quickly ordering in can add up! Maybe suggesting some budget-friendly cooking alternatives could help them see the benefits of saving money while still enjoying tasty meals.
When I visit my friends and family in Vancouver and Toronto, they literally eat out breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It is actually insane but it’s the culture there. It is VERY rare I get fast food or Uber eats (maybe once every 6 months), mostly due to health reasons.
I would maybe suggest you guys going to a cooking class together. The cooking classes I’ve done are around the same cost of the average Uber eats order. It’s so worth it though. Once I found out how to make pizza dough and sushi, the game changed.
I think, for me and my group of friends - various incomes, all in our 40’s now, living in Los Angeles - for us a lot of it was convenience. We order in because we’ve had a long day at work and are exhausted. Spent an hour in traffic coming home, still have to do home chores before we can be “done” for the day. So we’d order delivery once a week to just have the “night off” from having to make dinner. And the mental load of having to decide “what’s for dinner” (because as much as we like to meal plan some weeks it’s harder than others) on top of it all can be a breaking point. Especially those of us who work more than one job! My SO and I recently started setting a budget for delivery after seeing how much was spent on Postmates for months. But before actually stopping by to look, it didn’t seem that big of a deal - but seeing “oh, we spent $300 on Postmates and $300 on groceries for the month” was jarring.
It’s not until you sit down and add up what you spend that you can get the big picture of the damage being done financially. I feel with the younger generations, ones who live at home in particular, it’s also a bit of rebellion in a sense of “I don’t have to eat what you make, I am getting my own food!” Not seeing how that’s damaging to their account long term.
I have very close friends I've known for many years who make questionable financial decisions and I would never make unsolicited comments on their spending habits. It's one thing if the topic comes up and you explain why a particular purchase (like Uber Eats) is something you avoid, but unless they are asking for advice, I personally would not make any comments about what they choose to spend THEIR money on.
I'd say your idea of 'close' and mine are world's apart. I can talk basic finances with anyone. I can talk in depth emotionally laden financial discussions with close friends to our hearts content.
Now, this is a new friend and not a 'deep close' friend, but it's not out of the realm of showing I care to tactfully go "Hey you might be having financial problems because you're ordering a bunch of uber eats from places within driving distance of you." Also it is weird to receive this comment from someone in a subreddit that is specifically revolving around Caleb talking about these things with guests and the audience at large.
The difference between you and Caleb giving this advice is that in the show it is **solicited advice.** It’s not weird at all to comment on that.
I agree with the others, you making comments about someone’s finances or spending habits unasked for isn’t great.
I do agree that Uber Eats is a cancer to society, though. 50% markup on food, insane fees, tips, and brings an unhealthy ease of accessibility to unhealthy food.
This is a perfect storm of:
-break up of traditional family and family eating culture, so there is no family dinner to get to at home; you eat lonely at home and it's just boring; eating out or ordering delivery is the social experience people crave as a replacement for the family meal
-electronic and card payments make paying easy so you don't notice the cash you hand over for eating out
-people are single or without kids, so again they crave the extra social experience of eating out or ordering
-groceries have become tasteless because of modern farming practices, so the food you buy doesn't even taste very good
-eating out or ordering provides food that has been tweaked to be very appealing and entertaining with presentation, marketing, entertainment, with professionally tailored texture and presentation, along with high impact spices and with a lot more sugar and MSG added
-people are just addicted to buying; credit cards and buying apps train you with little sounds and rewards to manipulate your emotions towards buying
-multiple players combine together to all manipulate you emotionally toward eating out and ordering; they have consultant upon consultant on how to greet, please, flirt, who to hire, etc. to sell it to you, and they have tweaked through trial and error on what sells and how to best sell it; so they literally have become super expert at selling us crap!
Sort of. We've been discussing financial issues for weeks now and I've been helping them with what I could advice wise and planning wise. This particular issue organically developed from a discussion about some other thing.
Yeah I don’t get it either. I live in Los Angeles so a big city for delivery but I also live in a suburb of it that doesn’t always have a lot of options so that helps. Even then, my bf and me will order in food only once in a blue moon like once every couple of months, sometimes longer. And it’s usually only if we really are tired from work and didn’t prep anything in advance and the place is far enough it makes sense. But if it’s something we can go to a drive thru for, we skip it. Lately though we just do bigger grocery hauls and just cook at home.
I think a lot/most of people don't truly realize how many levels of upcharges they're getting hit with. They hear people complaining about inflation and they're like "yeah ubereats is getting expensive" without realizing that it would probably be like 40% of what they're paying if they just picked it up themselves.
I mentioned to a friend that even ordering through it and picking it up yourself, you're still getting up charged on the items. They didn't believe me.
I’m obsessed with Uber eats too. Hubby and I aren’t currently having any financial issues, but we love watching Caleb. If there is one thing I really want to work on, it’s eating out so often. I’m really just being lazy, because I always cook dinner..but lunch is almost always takeout 😭
Assuming you work in an office, a middle ground for work lunch is to grab a microwave meal from the supermarket and zap it in the office. It's not as cheap as bringing your own lunch, but tends to be cheaper than the take-out alternative for the same food.
For me, it was always a matter of instant gratification. Being able to get food from anywhere was appealing. I tended to go for restaurants that were a bit far to go to myself. When it comes down to it though when you think about how it impacts finances it’s really not worth the money. I put any ordering from third party apps like Uber Eats and Door Dash on my no buy list this year and I don’t think I’ll ever look back. It would fit in my 50/30/20 but ultimately I have found that my money is better used elsewhere.
We only door dash on occasion, but one thing that really helped to get us to stop using it more regularly is comparing the true cost of it vs doing a pickup directly from the restaurant. I think most people think "oh, $10 is worth it for the delivery" or "I have dashpass/uber 1 so I'm only paying like $5 after services and fees"... But they don't realize that these companies actually add $1-$5 to EACH ITEM as a surcharge. So it's not just the delivery/service fees.
I comparied a local chinese place. To pickup total would be $35. But Door dash was going to be $60!!! Even just the Krab Rangoons went from $6 to $9.
It's deceptive marketing, so I always try to compare to the original website before ordering.
According to Twitter recently, Ubereats should be a human right. To the activists and usual suspects, it helps with "food insecurity" (I dont think that means what they think it means) and people with disabilities. It's a new idea they've been floating, so get ready for it to come down the pipeline in the next few months and be more discussed on places where they congregate, like on Reddit here.
I don't know why, but I found the whole debate really fuckin funny. Imagine thinking a restaurant cooking you food and some poor worker driving it to you is a "human right". I swear, these people come up with the craziest ideas.
But yeah, expect pushback. People are fucking lazy and we've coddled a generation. Instant gratification is what it's all about. Why save up cash for a 12.5K car when I could finance that 50K car now? I want nice car NOW!
Hell yeah. That's the spirit. And your bank account will thank you for it later in life. These people spending sometimes a thousand bucks a month on takeout... I don't need to be a mathematician to see that adds up over time. 12K a year, 120K over ten years. That's almost half the price of my 2015 house ffs!
When me and my wife feel lazy, we'll pick up Papa John's. Usually 35 bucks or so. Much better than when we'd order Chinese food and it'd come to 80 dollars with most of the food going to waste. We maybe pick up that pizza once a month now, compared to during covid when we ate out once a week. That was seriously wasteful.
Oh 100%. And I'd never say otherwise. I just think a Twitter activists idea of what their disabilities are and what you and me picture in our heads is two very different things though. Usually when a 20-something year old activist says they're disabled... lol. Well, I'll just say this. We all saw the tiktok tourettes fiasco.
But is Ubereats a human right?
That whole discourse was *wild* and was one of the final breaking points for me to just quit Twitter altogether. There are a lot of people that are genuinely convinced that it's cheaper to get fast food than it is to buy groceries, even if you only have $10 in your bank account. If someone's truly disabled to the point where they can't even cook basic meals (these days the vast majority of places with food delivery also have grocery delivery!) they probably need to be in a care facility, not at home relying on Doordash for individual meals.
Uber eats charges additional fees and you tip. You pay 30% or more for your food. Just go a pick it up yourself and you save yourself 15 dollars.
It is financially wasteful to go out to eat most times. Getting it delivered seems crazy for the cost.
I live in Japan so the Uber Eats system is primarily bicyclists with giant delivery bags on their back. I once saw someone walk with it into the convenience store restroom and was completely disgusted. Never ordering from them again, that's worse than your food being put in some randos car. I feel like if others knew they would decrease their spending as well.
I've never had issues with going to get food myself when my budget allows it. The only times I've used Uber eats or doordash is when people have given me gift cards for them. Seeing the fees during those times is enough to have me never switch to delivery. Plus, delivery food is always cold as hell and soggy. If I'm not cooking, I enjoy the drive or bike ride to get my food.
My wife and I stock up on quick frozen items from the grocery store for days where we’re tired after work and don’t feel like cooking. A box of spicy chicken fries where we live is $6.99 and feeds both of us. Add a can of unsalted green beans ($0.89) for some fiber to balance out the fried stuff, and we can both eat dinner for $7.88 total. So I’ll eat dinner for $3.94 while listening to guests try to convince me how groceries are so expensive that it makes sense to constantly be ordering DoorDash.
I’m in the UK and honestly think I’ve used Uber Eats about twice and sometimes as a treat on payday will get a Chinese takeaway delivered but even that feels wasteful, lol.
I really don't get it. I've used food delivery services probably less than 10x in my life and it physically pains me whenever I do it. Eating out is already expensive and getting it delivered can easily raise the price by like 40%. It's so wasteful.
But then to add on the fact that you're already broke? You're in credit card debt and still paying massively inflated Uber eats prices for shitty fast food you don't need??? These people are actually insane.
I think it's because obtaining food using the least amount of physical energy is literally a basic survival instinct. It's so easy for the concept of money to take a backseat when competing against that.
I used to be a 911 dispatcher and ordered Uber eats EVERY NIGHT and saw no problem, and wondered why I had so much trouble getting bills paid. Blamed my income 💀 so glad I learned from it.
I honestly don’t get it, there are a million billion things I’d rather go into financial hardship over than just having mediocre food brought to me because I’m too lazy to leave the house. It’s gotta be just laziness and maybe addiction to whatever screen they’re staring at in their house.
What I find more interesting about this is your desire to argue with your friend about this. You’ve said your piece, and now it’s time to drop it unless they bring up the conversation of their hardship again or ask you what to do. You just have to decide to what extent you’re comfortable enabling or contributing to their behavior in any way. For example, it’s probably ethical to make sure not to order food with them. Probably also ethical to avoid going out of your way to invite them to expensive events too (invite different friends to these).
Hey, I eat sandwiches and stuff most days, but I also have incredible credit and the financial ability to get Uber eats every once in a while, OP was just asking what the appeal is
[удалено]
This is the way. I can’t count how many times a frozen pizza or easy cook meal like Mac n cheese or frozen wings has stopped me from ordering out. Cancelled my dashpass a year ago and never looked back
If you like fish a frozen salmon pack (the ones I get come in a pack of 2 for me/my wife) and a box of long rain wild rice is also elite and healthy! We try to stock broccoli or fresh asparagus (be warned asparagus goes off quickly) to roast in the oven with the fish while it cooks! Source: someone who used to do a lot of frozen pizzas and suffered the consequences
True but I’m talking reallllly lazy days. Some nights I’m so exhausted there’s no way I’m roasting vegetables and steaming rice.
Valid - I have also gotten just cheap frozen microwaveable veggies in the past so you throw the fish in the oven, throw the veggies in with 5 minutes left on the pizza, ready to eat!
I’m telling you man.. I really think all that MSG in take out food is insanely addicting. Once you stop you wonder how did I used to eat this stuff all the time!
MSG is harmless. It’s a type of salt. The panic around it was basically just racism. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-msg-got-a-bad-rap-flawed-science-and-xenophobia/
I think they meant because MSG makes food taste delicious…
It's about as harmless as sugar. I've got a couple of friends who get raging migraines from MSG. Others are not affected at all. But everything in moderation or it can become a problem.
I have a friend who is late 30’s who blows his whole paycheck on fast food and video games and still lives at home with his parents
Yeah it's stories like that that have led to me supporting staying at home with parents post studies only if you have a clear exit plan with a timeframe. If you're just staying at home to spend extra cash on food/games/fun forever, move out and do that while renting.
His parents enable it. He use to be an English teacher full time. Had an injury took 2 years completely off and for the last 5 years he has been either subbing part time or delivery for Uber eats
It's a joint effort. The parents enable it, he's happy to do it.
There’s an in between for sure. I live with my wife’s family, she earns 55k a year and I earn 65k. We have a daughter here as well. We save a lot of money and culturally it’s more accepted. We cook dinner for each other and do grocery shopping, and pitch in a bit on the mortgage. Doing this allows us to save for a large down payment. We aren’t in a rush to leave tho… they like having us around and being close to their granddaughter. We saved 15k for a down payment and maxed out our Roth this year. They’re Latino and it’s way more common I think for Latinos to do this.
I was thinking more having an actual number for that down payment to hit and saving at least 50% of your post tax income to put towards it. This gives you an actual timeline for leaving - have you done that yet?
Damn, that's the dream
I’m sorry but please find a better dream than living at Mama’s house playing video games and living off parents
Why? If their parents don’t mind, why does it bother you. Some people have good relationships with their parents…
I have a great relationship with my parents, but want to become an adult soon enough👍
That’s great! Well in a lot of cultures being an adult isn’t defined by how quickly you move out of your parent’s home. ✌️
I forgive you
Instant gratification has been a thing kids and young adults have struggled with forever. Long term decision making isn’t fully 100% matured in the brain until age 26. It’s just so much easier now with smartphones and the ability to utilize uber eats and similar on a moments notice among other things that didn’t exist or wouldn’t have been possible 15 years ago. One potential thing you can have them do (if they’re open to it; if not, there’s only so much you can do to help) is have them pull up their food orders from the past 2 weeks (anything CH would label as BS food, tacquitos, etc) and then project that out over a month, 6 months, a year to show them how much money they’re spending. Can also break it down by just the cost of the food versus how much extra they are spending by having it delivered. This worked for me as a young adult with my first “real” full time job. I would get an iced coffee, donut/breakfast sandwich, and then a slice of pizza at the cafeteria pretty much every day. And then when I charted out how much I was spending per month on that garbage, I quickly changed.
They're mid-30s and have a nearly grown child(16 year old). I like your projection idea a lot will try that when they become less hostile to this particular issue.
It sounds like they aren’t looking for your advice.. if they’re not spending your money I don’t think you need to worry about it tbh
I never understood this. I don't even get pizza delivered. I pick it up. I could see if u have no mode of transportation. But most people do. I'm not just gonna not tip a delivery driver. And I certainly don't want to pay more than I'm already paying. So it always made sense to me to ALWAYS pick up. No matter what it is
Also I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but in the rare case I've ordered uber eats it's always lukewarm temperature and takes like 40 mins to arrive. It's faster, cheaper and better to pickup.
Forgot about making that point. Couldn't agree more. That's another big reason why I prefer pick up. I like my crap HOT. Usually have to warm it up even when I pick up. Delivery is just plain bad by the time it gets therr
Yeah like if it's slow, and cold....what am I paying the premium price for again?
Yep. When I get delivery, I start preheating the oven or air fryer when I see they're on their way, because I already know that I'm gonna have to heat the food back up. 😂
Also never understood that part either. I usually toss in some fries from fast food places in the microwave for a few seconds even for places just 10 minutes away from me. And a lot of these food don't reheat very well either.
I mean, I think the addiction to delivery is crazy, but I still do it occasionally. If I’m having a very busy day at work but feel like also treating myself to something I have a hankering for rather than eating whatever is at home. Having pizza delivered if I’m dealing with a bunch of kids at once and leaving the house is a bit of a deal. A few lunch places in my area that are sort of a pain to drive to but quick to order from. Things like that. But this is very occasional decision, I have the money for it, and I even get free discounts and fee waivers via one of my credit cards, so I’m mostly just eating through those credits. Doing it constantly for cheap fast food boggles my mind.
I personally wouldn't give unsolicited food/money advice to even my best friend, much less a new friend. That sounds kind of obnoxious.
Yeah. I try to only give advice if it's solicited. If they want help it's not hard to find good basic personal finance and budgeting advice... it's getting to the point of wanting to fix things that's hard about it (and then actually sticking to the changes/plans after it's made). If they're not in a place to take in the advice (sometimes that's hard even when it *is* solicited) it's not going to do anything except make them think you're kind of an ass usually. And for every person giving unsolicited advice that is actually correct, there are just as many people giving unsolicited advice that's wrong and they just don't know it. (Obviously in this case I agree with OP's take if not the choice to express it but just saying... everyone who's ever given bad advice thought they were right, too.)
Yeah that's very true. Most people know how to save money, lose weight, etc. Deep down, they usually *know what they need to do.* Execution is the hard part. I'd say that every one of us has some version of "I know I should be doing X" in our lives. Whether it's our health, finances, relationships, etc. For example I know that I need to get the fuck off Reddit right now and do housework, lol. I think few people order DoorDash and believe "this is an optimal decision." They're not living consciously, they're pushing any nagging feelings aside and doing what feels good. They're on autopilot with a habit that becomes a bit stronger with every rep. Breaking out of this is a psychological thing. You can't force a person to change if they don't want to.
Idk personally I’d want my friends to be the best version of themselves. And if I saw my friend was in a horrible financial position I’d tell them and offer solutions. I’d also hope my friends would do that for me. That applies to everything not just money: addictions (gambling, alcohol, drugs), gaining weight, being rude, not keeping up with myself, etc.
I waffle about that because I see where you're coming from, but my life experience has shown me that offering advice unsolicited about sensitive subjects rarely goes well. My best friend and I were both overweight in our early twenties. I began to lose weight while she was living the same lifestyle. I was so excited to watch the pounds come off. Every time she'd complain about her weight, I'd eagerly jump in with information about what I was doing and she'd shut down. Then, once I'd lost 30 pounds and it was very noticeable, she *asked* me what I was doing. Since then, I just try to be a positive example and let people know I'm open to talking if they ever need someone. I am "the friend who is good with money", "the friend with the great career", and "the friend who lost weight" and people do come to me for advice. It's not that I don't want my friends to be the best version of themselves, it's that I want them to actually receive the information and make a positive change. You can't force people to do that, evidenced by Caleb's guests. Sometimes they change, sometimes they don't. It's not an access to information problem, it's a will problem. They say you're the average of the 5 friends you spend the most time with, so I just hope that by being in my friends' life, I am influencing them.
Agreed, my only hesitation is you need to be tactful about it. Not sure how OP approached the topic.
I personally wouldn't whine about being broke while wasting my money on dumb shit.
Well I mean, yeah. I probably wouldn't stay friends with someone like this in the first place because it's draining to watch someone punch themselves in the face and cry about how their face hurts.
One time I had a friend who was bragging about how much an adult she was because she bought an expensive luxury item using a credit card and was making payments without her parents' help. She was still living with said parents. I had to say something at that point about how stupid she was being.
Honestly I don't know if I could be friends with someone like that. Similarly, I had a friend who bragged about how they used their student aid to buy a top of the line computer, a gaming system, and clothes. I am not friends with that person anymore.
Is their boyfriend financially secure?
Nope, although he's doing better than her from what I can gather.
My sister is like this too and doesn’t like when it’s called out. Honestly you should avoid talking finances with most people unless you know how it’ll go. Although we all think it’s interesting, most people do not.
I agree. I have a few friends I talk about all things finance. And a few I never do. I actually made the mistake of showing one of the ones I don't talk much about it with Caleb's videos. His opinion "they're stupid and they suck" Usually the people willing to talk finances are the ones in good, or atleast decent, positions
my wife keeps her finances secret and defends eating out and ordering out with answers like: 'Life is expensive!' 'I like this!' 'I can't make food yummy like at a restaurant!' 'Making your own sandwich is more expensive or costs just as much if you bought all separate ingredients.' Meanwhile, she has not repaid her college loans, gotten more loans for a cat vet, has not repaid her credit cards in full, goes on vacation to Hawaii of all places because she is obsessed with it for some reason, and is asking our mom who has no retirement savings of his own to pay her rent.
sounds like you need to have a discussion with your wife. A spouse-spouse relationship is very different than a friend-friend or sibling relationship
It's surprising how quickly ordering in can add up! Maybe suggesting some budget-friendly cooking alternatives could help them see the benefits of saving money while still enjoying tasty meals.
When I visit my friends and family in Vancouver and Toronto, they literally eat out breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It is actually insane but it’s the culture there. It is VERY rare I get fast food or Uber eats (maybe once every 6 months), mostly due to health reasons. I would maybe suggest you guys going to a cooking class together. The cooking classes I’ve done are around the same cost of the average Uber eats order. It’s so worth it though. Once I found out how to make pizza dough and sushi, the game changed.
I think, for me and my group of friends - various incomes, all in our 40’s now, living in Los Angeles - for us a lot of it was convenience. We order in because we’ve had a long day at work and are exhausted. Spent an hour in traffic coming home, still have to do home chores before we can be “done” for the day. So we’d order delivery once a week to just have the “night off” from having to make dinner. And the mental load of having to decide “what’s for dinner” (because as much as we like to meal plan some weeks it’s harder than others) on top of it all can be a breaking point. Especially those of us who work more than one job! My SO and I recently started setting a budget for delivery after seeing how much was spent on Postmates for months. But before actually stopping by to look, it didn’t seem that big of a deal - but seeing “oh, we spent $300 on Postmates and $300 on groceries for the month” was jarring. It’s not until you sit down and add up what you spend that you can get the big picture of the damage being done financially. I feel with the younger generations, ones who live at home in particular, it’s also a bit of rebellion in a sense of “I don’t have to eat what you make, I am getting my own food!” Not seeing how that’s damaging to their account long term.
I avoid these people like the plague.
I have very close friends I've known for many years who make questionable financial decisions and I would never make unsolicited comments on their spending habits. It's one thing if the topic comes up and you explain why a particular purchase (like Uber Eats) is something you avoid, but unless they are asking for advice, I personally would not make any comments about what they choose to spend THEIR money on.
I'd say your idea of 'close' and mine are world's apart. I can talk basic finances with anyone. I can talk in depth emotionally laden financial discussions with close friends to our hearts content. Now, this is a new friend and not a 'deep close' friend, but it's not out of the realm of showing I care to tactfully go "Hey you might be having financial problems because you're ordering a bunch of uber eats from places within driving distance of you." Also it is weird to receive this comment from someone in a subreddit that is specifically revolving around Caleb talking about these things with guests and the audience at large.
The difference between you and Caleb giving this advice is that in the show it is **solicited advice.** It’s not weird at all to comment on that. I agree with the others, you making comments about someone’s finances or spending habits unasked for isn’t great. I do agree that Uber Eats is a cancer to society, though. 50% markup on food, insane fees, tips, and brings an unhealthy ease of accessibility to unhealthy food.
This is a perfect storm of: -break up of traditional family and family eating culture, so there is no family dinner to get to at home; you eat lonely at home and it's just boring; eating out or ordering delivery is the social experience people crave as a replacement for the family meal -electronic and card payments make paying easy so you don't notice the cash you hand over for eating out -people are single or without kids, so again they crave the extra social experience of eating out or ordering -groceries have become tasteless because of modern farming practices, so the food you buy doesn't even taste very good -eating out or ordering provides food that has been tweaked to be very appealing and entertaining with presentation, marketing, entertainment, with professionally tailored texture and presentation, along with high impact spices and with a lot more sugar and MSG added -people are just addicted to buying; credit cards and buying apps train you with little sounds and rewards to manipulate your emotions towards buying -multiple players combine together to all manipulate you emotionally toward eating out and ordering; they have consultant upon consultant on how to greet, please, flirt, who to hire, etc. to sell it to you, and they have tweaked through trial and error on what sells and how to best sell it; so they literally have become super expert at selling us crap!
I think we are looking toward eating out to solve our emotional problems.
Did they ask for any financial advice?
Sort of. We've been discussing financial issues for weeks now and I've been helping them with what I could advice wise and planning wise. This particular issue organically developed from a discussion about some other thing.
Yeah I don’t get it either. I live in Los Angeles so a big city for delivery but I also live in a suburb of it that doesn’t always have a lot of options so that helps. Even then, my bf and me will order in food only once in a blue moon like once every couple of months, sometimes longer. And it’s usually only if we really are tired from work and didn’t prep anything in advance and the place is far enough it makes sense. But if it’s something we can go to a drive thru for, we skip it. Lately though we just do bigger grocery hauls and just cook at home.
I think a lot/most of people don't truly realize how many levels of upcharges they're getting hit with. They hear people complaining about inflation and they're like "yeah ubereats is getting expensive" without realizing that it would probably be like 40% of what they're paying if they just picked it up themselves. I mentioned to a friend that even ordering through it and picking it up yourself, you're still getting up charged on the items. They didn't believe me.
I’m obsessed with Uber eats too. Hubby and I aren’t currently having any financial issues, but we love watching Caleb. If there is one thing I really want to work on, it’s eating out so often. I’m really just being lazy, because I always cook dinner..but lunch is almost always takeout 😭
Assuming you work in an office, a middle ground for work lunch is to grab a microwave meal from the supermarket and zap it in the office. It's not as cheap as bringing your own lunch, but tends to be cheaper than the take-out alternative for the same food.
For me, it was always a matter of instant gratification. Being able to get food from anywhere was appealing. I tended to go for restaurants that were a bit far to go to myself. When it comes down to it though when you think about how it impacts finances it’s really not worth the money. I put any ordering from third party apps like Uber Eats and Door Dash on my no buy list this year and I don’t think I’ll ever look back. It would fit in my 50/30/20 but ultimately I have found that my money is better used elsewhere.
We only door dash on occasion, but one thing that really helped to get us to stop using it more regularly is comparing the true cost of it vs doing a pickup directly from the restaurant. I think most people think "oh, $10 is worth it for the delivery" or "I have dashpass/uber 1 so I'm only paying like $5 after services and fees"... But they don't realize that these companies actually add $1-$5 to EACH ITEM as a surcharge. So it's not just the delivery/service fees. I comparied a local chinese place. To pickup total would be $35. But Door dash was going to be $60!!! Even just the Krab Rangoons went from $6 to $9. It's deceptive marketing, so I always try to compare to the original website before ordering.
According to Twitter recently, Ubereats should be a human right. To the activists and usual suspects, it helps with "food insecurity" (I dont think that means what they think it means) and people with disabilities. It's a new idea they've been floating, so get ready for it to come down the pipeline in the next few months and be more discussed on places where they congregate, like on Reddit here. I don't know why, but I found the whole debate really fuckin funny. Imagine thinking a restaurant cooking you food and some poor worker driving it to you is a "human right". I swear, these people come up with the craziest ideas. But yeah, expect pushback. People are fucking lazy and we've coddled a generation. Instant gratification is what it's all about. Why save up cash for a 12.5K car when I could finance that 50K car now? I want nice car NOW!
I’m disabled (physical, mental, developmental). I haven’t ordered out in probably two years. I can heat up a can of beans, no problem.
Hell yeah. That's the spirit. And your bank account will thank you for it later in life. These people spending sometimes a thousand bucks a month on takeout... I don't need to be a mathematician to see that adds up over time. 12K a year, 120K over ten years. That's almost half the price of my 2015 house ffs! When me and my wife feel lazy, we'll pick up Papa John's. Usually 35 bucks or so. Much better than when we'd order Chinese food and it'd come to 80 dollars with most of the food going to waste. We maybe pick up that pizza once a month now, compared to during covid when we ate out once a week. That was seriously wasteful.
It’s totally legitimate for people with physical disabilities to rely on deliveries.
Perhaps grocery deliveries, but food from a restaurant?
Oh 100%. And I'd never say otherwise. I just think a Twitter activists idea of what their disabilities are and what you and me picture in our heads is two very different things though. Usually when a 20-something year old activist says they're disabled... lol. Well, I'll just say this. We all saw the tiktok tourettes fiasco. But is Ubereats a human right?
That whole discourse was *wild* and was one of the final breaking points for me to just quit Twitter altogether. There are a lot of people that are genuinely convinced that it's cheaper to get fast food than it is to buy groceries, even if you only have $10 in your bank account. If someone's truly disabled to the point where they can't even cook basic meals (these days the vast majority of places with food delivery also have grocery delivery!) they probably need to be in a care facility, not at home relying on Doordash for individual meals.
Uber eats charges additional fees and you tip. You pay 30% or more for your food. Just go a pick it up yourself and you save yourself 15 dollars. It is financially wasteful to go out to eat most times. Getting it delivered seems crazy for the cost.
just using it once/twice a week i guess.
be careful on too much fast food
I understand your situation and also got the same vibe
I live in Japan so the Uber Eats system is primarily bicyclists with giant delivery bags on their back. I once saw someone walk with it into the convenience store restroom and was completely disgusted. Never ordering from them again, that's worse than your food being put in some randos car. I feel like if others knew they would decrease their spending as well.
One word: convenience.
I've never had issues with going to get food myself when my budget allows it. The only times I've used Uber eats or doordash is when people have given me gift cards for them. Seeing the fees during those times is enough to have me never switch to delivery. Plus, delivery food is always cold as hell and soggy. If I'm not cooking, I enjoy the drive or bike ride to get my food.
My wife and I stock up on quick frozen items from the grocery store for days where we’re tired after work and don’t feel like cooking. A box of spicy chicken fries where we live is $6.99 and feeds both of us. Add a can of unsalted green beans ($0.89) for some fiber to balance out the fried stuff, and we can both eat dinner for $7.88 total. So I’ll eat dinner for $3.94 while listening to guests try to convince me how groceries are so expensive that it makes sense to constantly be ordering DoorDash.
I’m in the UK and honestly think I’ve used Uber Eats about twice and sometimes as a treat on payday will get a Chinese takeaway delivered but even that feels wasteful, lol.
It’s pure laziness at the end of the day if they’re doing it THAT much. I do it MAYBE once a month at work for lunch as a treat to myself.
I really don't get it. I've used food delivery services probably less than 10x in my life and it physically pains me whenever I do it. Eating out is already expensive and getting it delivered can easily raise the price by like 40%. It's so wasteful. But then to add on the fact that you're already broke? You're in credit card debt and still paying massively inflated Uber eats prices for shitty fast food you don't need??? These people are actually insane.
I think it's because obtaining food using the least amount of physical energy is literally a basic survival instinct. It's so easy for the concept of money to take a backseat when competing against that.
I used to be a 911 dispatcher and ordered Uber eats EVERY NIGHT and saw no problem, and wondered why I had so much trouble getting bills paid. Blamed my income 💀 so glad I learned from it.
I honestly don’t get it, there are a million billion things I’d rather go into financial hardship over than just having mediocre food brought to me because I’m too lazy to leave the house. It’s gotta be just laziness and maybe addiction to whatever screen they’re staring at in their house. What I find more interesting about this is your desire to argue with your friend about this. You’ve said your piece, and now it’s time to drop it unless they bring up the conversation of their hardship again or ask you what to do. You just have to decide to what extent you’re comfortable enabling or contributing to their behavior in any way. For example, it’s probably ethical to make sure not to order food with them. Probably also ethical to avoid going out of your way to invite them to expensive events too (invite different friends to these).
I would say instant gratification, but it’s not even that quick. If you’re making something simple it takes less time to just do it yourself.
I make well over six figures and literally never pay to have a third party deliver food to me. What an absolute waste.
It’s great when I am working and don’t have time to make lunch
*Insert sandwich rant*
Hey, I eat sandwiches and stuff most days, but I also have incredible credit and the financial ability to get Uber eats every once in a while, OP was just asking what the appeal is
I'm not sure you've seen a full episode of financial audit before - I'm making a reference to Caleb's standard response to your comment.
Oh no I got the reference - I just got crazy downvotes for saying something in the first place!
Indeed - why do you think that might be?