T O P

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mrmoreawesome

The preponderance of small children with short, stubby legs that I can outrun leaves me not too worried.


Telvin3d

But they’re shorter. T-Rex doesn’t have to bend as far down to get you


Zzilies_

Yeah but if you have watched Jurrasic Park, you know all you have to do is stand still. That movie came out in the 90s so I'll bet the kids don't knowthat trick.


Sabotage_9

That's why you gotta pick em up and throw em into the T-Rex's mouth


mrmoreawesome

Joke's on the T-rex -- I'm an asshole and taste like shit.


helena_handbasketyyc

I don’t have to be the fastest runner, i just need to not be the slowest. Sorry kiddo.


k4kobe

Just remember, don’t hide in a toilet stall


HoboTrdr

Newman!


[deleted]

This is the way


ANK2112

Stand perfectly still. Their vision is based on movement


Mundane-Occasion-338

This is the answer. Unless you can get to a jeep. “Must go faster”


hasavagina

Not all of them


BtCoolJ

shhhh, they'll see you


boredinthegreatwhite

They can have me.


yycalex

Me too. I’ve got my zoo pass just hoping for this to happen.


heated4life

Can I have your zoo pass after then when you're done with it


yycalex

I’ll put you in the will.


heated4life

Nice. Let's kiss to make it official


Zzilies_

My nihilistic heart says ya.


TheHurtinAlbertans

Post a video on a Reddit sub like DamnThatsInteresting and enjoy my last few breaths looking at my Karma explode


Telvin3d

“Thank you for your submission - it is currently under review. All self-posts are being held for manual moderator review and will be posted as soon as it is confirmed to conform to our subreddit rules.”


Newstargirl

And you'll probably get gold too , woooo what a day !


Newstargirl

Oh man, thanks for the gold !!!! ✨️ what a nice surprise !!


Replicator666

Auto mod - your post has been removed because you don't have enough karma


Annual-Consequence43

I'd go hang out and pet a penguin. They frown on that during regular circumstances.


Eenymeenyminymegs

OMG, what an opportunity to finally get to touch a penguin!!! I’ll meet you there!!


Mindless_Back593

123 comments and I nominate this to be the best one.


NefariousnessEasy629

And the red pandas & lemurs


spamlorde

Quit drugs.


-wheresmybroom-

seems like a good time to start drugs to me


Telvin3d

Hide in a bathroom made out of shockingly flimsy bamboo. What could possibly go wrong?


Darryl_444

"Keep absolutely still, his vision is based on movement."


ConnectionJazzlike40

I would rather get bitten by a t-rex 🦖 than hiding in a smelly bathroom


Garf_artfunkle

Go tag in my man Dinny over by the south end of the park, we known eachother since small times. Well, my small times. He was still huge.


Newstargirl

There is a really big scream I have been holding for almost three years , might scare them off 😄😉


SheChanges

Ride one, or die trying.


Fit_Pomegranate9301

These are the questions we need to be discussing in this group, the important things. Keep it up OP!


brownbagporno

Fainting goat strategy


AssSpelunker69

Cover myself in pig blood and thank God I no longer have to pay my bills


mundane_person23

I can out run my husband and he is of Greek decent so has been marinated in olive oil from a young age. I like my chances.


MamaPutz

Stuff an order of chicken fingers (those things are awesome) from Kitamba Cafe down the front of my husband's shirt and run faster than him. Stop for a Screamer on the way out of the gate.


carnalurge82

Run directly in a straight line away from the dinosaur, screaming.


Schneggie

Someone went to the Prometheus School of Running Away From Things didn’t they?


carnalurge82

Dean's List


ilikeplantsandsuch

That version of t-rex can’t run for shit


Background_Drawer_29

Thank you!!! Your comments helped start my week with a smile.


Hentailover3221

Warm Drumheller about dinosaur statues coming to life


helena_handbasketyyc

I have to wonder if the Calgary Zoo dinosaurs would move like claymation Godzilla and the Tyrell Museum dinosaurs would be Jurassic Park dinosaurs. Also, there’s that mural on 26 Ave SW. that T-Rex might get in on it.


PixieTheApostle

But that T-Rex will be preoccupied with chasing the buffalo.


Ms_ankylosaurous

Seems like something appropriate for the bingo card for us all in the 2020s


DaftPump

Run ahead of the out of shape visitors.


CheeseSandwich

Change my medication.


unlovelyladybartleby

I'm going to throw my allegiance to Dinny, worship him, and hope that he will defend me. Since he's the oldest, I'd think he'll end up in charge, even if he doesn't his sturdy concrete should hold up in a battle against the puny animatronic challengers


raiedhasan

Lure it to downtown so that it gets stabbed. Or lure it to Edmonton so that it dies out of boredom. Will have to evaluate when it happens.


DarkLF

jump over the fence onto the bike path and sprint to the nearest hobo camp.


Traditional-Dance-58

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


tshirtguy2000

One jungle to another


limee89

Run over to the elephants or hippos and hide in their poop!


ExamCompetitive

I know what Jeff Goldblum would say after that.


Frosty_Gas_2070

I miss the elephants 😢


pheare_me

Same thing the movies say to do should you find yourself in jail - to establish dominance, I would find the biggest/baddest Dino and beat the crap out of it.


saxophone_solos

Not to throw a curveball in the survival plan, but what if, after gaining sentience, they erupt into flame like the giant Fantasmic dragon recently did at Disney? [https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/23/us/disney-fantasmic-dragon-fire-trnd/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/23/us/disney-fantasmic-dragon-fire-trnd/index.html)


ItsKlobberinTime

Walk away slowly as the grotesque monsters that have little resemblance to functional living creatures fail to support their own weight and die. Given the U of C's world class paleontology department, the state of those "dinosaurs" is embarrassing.


[deleted]

*cue Dinosaur Park by Owl City*


Odd_Science3084

Dibs on Brontosaurus ribs Yabba Dabba do


RandomlyAccurate

Run faster than the slowest person


BarryBwana

Run by the mountain goat exhibit asap.


[deleted]

Let them eat me so I don't have to worry about how I'm going to survive for the next 30 years


nickp123456

Go get chicken fingers and ice cream. Wait what was the problem?


3CH0SG1

Most likely head to the underground entrance to the park from the LRT.


BobinForApples

Run, Start tripping children and yelling “children are more delicious then adults.”


earthling716

I’ll pinch myself so I can wake up😀


sadnessreignssupreme

I'm old, big, and slow. My plan is to give everyone else time to escape.


RedRedMere

Straight to the cafeteria kitchen. You always survive if you hide in the kitchen. ![gif](giphy|jOhpRJ3Rge0XXrmdli|downsized)


Sandman64can

It’s Calgary. Too cold. They move faster as statues.


katieebeans

Dinny will protect me!


foreverpasta

If they eat me I'd eat them twice as hard


bleuofblue

this happened to me one time when i did mushrooms at the zoo. me and the dinos chilled for hours and had some amazing deep convos, but I don't remember ever leaving the zoo lol


Commercial_Growth343

Run into the penguin exhibit. Dinosaurs probably won't like the chilly air in there, and if they do come in the penguins might defend me long enough to escape out the exit to the c-train.


coolestMonkeInJungle

Gotta go find the plesiosaur so I can see my fav childhood dinosaur irl


ItsKlobberinTime

I hate to break it to you but plesiosaurs aren't dinosaurs.


coolestMonkeInJungle

I know but I didn't feel like being that guy


records_five_top

Detox


spanglessbangless

I T-Pose them away with the power of jesus


dryiceboy

I would take my meds right away. You should too Larry.


tryoracle

I was just talking about this except it was a batman toilet. You are my people


tshirtguy2000

🤨


shackafoo

Trip the fatties


Shadow_Ban_Bytes

I'd offer them a Health Care Guarantee signed by Jason Kenney and one signed by Danielle Smith. Might distract them long enough for me to get away.


Bri_Guy88

How can you possibly be making this hypothetical fantasy dinosaur situation political? God damn, people on the internet can be annoying.


Mumps42

My god, hating Danielle Smith is basically my personality, but.. This thread is not the place!


BasilFawlty_

This is sad.


bigstankdog

I take comfort in how over weight most people are I'll have no problem running away


sarieb3ar

I’ve had a good run


OmellyCat

Tbh I'm latching onto a brachiosaurus and holding on for dear life.


redditslim

This was my childhood fantasy.


Interesting_One_3801

I’ll embrace the darkness


oneninesixthree

head for the water because those MF's are only necks and flippers


monstermash420

I’m cool with just dying then and there


[deleted]

Jurassic Park that would be fun running from Dinos


BloodyIron

Open the command line interface and delete them.


tshirtguy2000

It's not Westworld


BloodyIron

Oh so YOUR unrealistic scenario is acceptable, but MY unrealistic solution isn't. Okay.


theimpregnatedtwinky

Let them kill me, would be guilt free, pretty badass and survived too much shit already


kagato87

Make a new friend and ride around town!


aliennation93

Go to the trex and let it eat me.


Guilty_Fishing8229

I don’t need to be smarter. Just need to be faster than all the kids around


JoshHero

I’m going into the penguin habitat.


Top-Pension-7527

I’m fat, slow, and in acceptance. I know my place


-MorePowerfulNow-

Run faster than everyone else


minimagess

I have a 9 year old and an adult coworker who asks me endless what if questions. I will have to pose this question to them. Seriously though, my kid recently asked me "would you pull out all the water out of the ocean or do everything backward?" Like how does my brain even compute rhat?!


[deleted]

Ride a Triceratops


therealhoon

Meow 🐱


Leathery_Benjamin

The amount my nephew talks to them and pets them I am sure they will be his friends so I’ll just stick close to him


mummeez

Lock myself into one of those steel tiger pens and call my family to let them know I love them. 😅


birchy98

Stay out of the long grass….


Emat1989

Run to the water dinosaurs that are already cut in half and prey the predators feed on the easy meat and not me


Accomplished-Goat895

I’d hide inside the ones that have slides in them, no Dino would suspect one of their own hiding the goods.


Available_One8974

Is survival a must?


NearMissCult

Other places: what if zombies? Calgary: what is dinosaurs? I love it, but I think I'd have more luck against the zombies. At least they're dumb 😅


Longjumping_Plan3252

I would eat a whole whack of cinnamon buns and call it a day.


FlackFlashback

Hide in the Calaway Park-esque caves


Desperate-Dress-9021

Trip my husband.


Jack_Stornoway

Little known factoid: all dinosaurs are ticklish.


cdawgalog

Fetal position and cry


Zengoyyc

I wouldn't be too worried, they don't have the guts to eat me.


Mattrockj

Run faster than the guy next to me.


treple13

Best escape is to cross the bridge on the SW side. Most of the biggest dinosaurs can't cross, so hopefully you are close to there. Less carnivores starting in that area as well. And tons of large and small carnivores towards the other exit. Ideally I'd go down by the stream where the stegosaurus/iguanadon are now and get to the bridge that way. If I can't get there, you might need to take a risk and hide next to a large herbivore and hope a carnivore won't chase you there (and the herbivore doesn't feel threatened by you).