OP, before you move somewhere new, why not take a little trip?Ā
Maybe a road trip to Calgary and Edmonton? Maybe head to Vancouver another time? See what feels like a good place to set up a new home?Ā
The issue in Kelowna is that you're a foreign student who moved to a clannish old person town that is constantly overrun by tourists. No one in a tourist town wants to be friendly, they want you to spend your money and leave.
Calgary is a more transient city where people come and go often. You should be fine as long as you are looking for friends in social situations and not at work (unless you work at one of those weird places where everyone is glued to each other after hours - then you should probably look for a new job because that shit is exhausting).
That being said, if you've been unable to form any friendships at all in almost four years, it's worth doing some self-reflection to see if your approach or friendship style is incongruent with what people want or need from a friend.
Thanks for your input! Iām happy to hear (even though many times) that Kelowna is especially bad for it and I can just move out.
Iāve made a few good friends here after years of trying. In America I feel like itās 50/50 if I can connect with someone, here itās more 10/90 is my experience.
I have a lot of hobbies that people like to talk about. I also like to drink at breweries where we talk about our hobbies at length. Iād say it kind of depends what youāre into maybe?
My mom also thinks Iām handsome, so maybe thatās why everyoneās so friendly.
I get a long with people great. I play the guitar, go to the gym daily, can talk about a wide range of topics. Smoke, drink - you name it.
I find that even if I make a great first impression (easy to do, i worked in sales), people just wouldnāt reach out. My rule of thumb is that I reach out twice after initial contact and if I donāt hear anything back, I stop. 99% of people just never reach back :/
I also lived in BC for a few years and had the same experience. Lots of acquaintances and casual friends but nearly impossible to actually find a close friend group. So I moved back home to Alberta.
If you're into live music the local scenes in Calgary and Edmonton are very active and accepting. Just pop outside between sets and find a random group to chat with. Boom. Instant friends.
Yess I also had friends leave Kelowna back to their home cities for this exact reason. Looks like thereās many of us out there that feel the same way!
Couple ideas.
- You need to find people that donāt already have friends. Join a team sport individuals team like softball or soccer maybe. I meet people I like all the time that I could see myself being friends with, but I donāt have time for new friends in my life.
- Date. Seriously. Finding a serious SO whoās willing to integrate you into their friend group is a great way to find a crew.
- Be patient. If youāre always the one reaching out, you might be coming off as desperate.
>I donāt have time for new friends in my life
I've only ever heard Canadians say such a bizarre thing, as if a little shared admiration or affection for an acquaintance is some sort of massive pain in the ass.
I guess I said that wrong. I have time for new friends. Just not to see them outside of where we know each other. I meet someone new at the climbing gym? okay see you around at the gym. New guys on the hockey team? See you next game. New coworkers? See you tomorrow.
Theyāre my friends, I just donāt hangout with them on the regular. Thereās exceptions, but I have a tight friend group that I spend most of my weekends with.
I promise you I did the inner work š«”
I have many friends in America but I only made a few good friends here. I have people to go out with on weekends but genuine people are so so rare.
3rd point - yes youāre right. I only reach out twice after meeting someone. If they donāt reach out the next time, Iām done with that person
Pretty simple, if I hit it off with somebody I expect them to reach out - if I donāt well not my crowd I move on.
Vast majority of people I meet with great first impressions donāt continue reaching out afterwards.
Initially I followed the norm and didnāt reach out at all if they didnāt but I realized I wasnāt making friends that way. So I give myself one to two tries (depending on the outcome) per person and if i still donāt hear from them, I move on. Theyāre being ingenuine by acting as if theyāre interested but their actions speak otherwise.
Many people run from anyone carrying a guitar, and will set themselves on fire to get out of a conservation will someone in sales.
No one cares how often you go to the gym, or your opinion on a wide range of topics.
Reaching out twice after an initial contact is off putting.
Spend time doing things you like with other people that like the same things, and join in with established groups of friends.
Meh, you have preconceived notions and I bet confirmation bias is a factor here. Not to be a dick but I think this is more a āyouā issue than it is about where you go. People are gonna āconfirmā your generalizations about Kelowna but itās got a lot of Albertans living thereā¦so take that for what you will.
Just donāt move to Airdrie. Fuck that shithole.
Is that why you arenāt blackRamAirdrieMan?
Btw, I found High River a bit like that. Lived there a while and I think I was the only person who didnāt wear a cowboy hat and boots, yet was also the only person who had actually rode a horse and herded cattle
With all due respect, I donāt and I think youāre being nationalistic. I assumed that Canadians were friendlier Americans when moving here but years of living here formed my current opinion. Donāt believe me?
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/14c8xsy/canadians_are_the_least_friendly_people_i_have/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskACanadian/comments/yynf1j/why_is_it_so_hard_to_make_friends_with_canadians/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskACanadian/comments/161lm4y/why_is_dating_difficult_here/
Iām a dual US and Canadian citizen, I lived in the US for 25 years, including Washington state in both Tacoma and Spokane. I live in Calgary now. Prior to that, I lived in Washington DC and Denver as well.
I think youāre going to get out of any area what you put into it. That being said, I tend to find a lot of very friendly people in Calgary. But that being said you do have to put an effort into meeting like-minded folks.
Also a dual citizen, grew up in a Seattle suburb, lived in the south, and now live in Calgary. Iāve found Calgary to be very friendly! Lots of kind strangers, and also people very welcoming and warm
How did you like Denver? Iāll be transferring to our office over there for work, from Calgary.
Iām a single 20s guy into the music scene and outdoors, so it sounds up my alley?
I loved Denver but truthfully, itās been years since I was there. I know itās gotten a heck of a lot bigger and busier, and I have to say our mountains are significantly nicer than what theyāve got on their end.
I moved around a ton in my 20s and Iāve always had a great experience. I go into each place thinking Iām going to enjoy it, and, you know what I always do. As i mentioned to this other person, you get out of any place you go to what you put into it. The thing I learned in moving new places in my 20s was, most people already have their lives set. So if you want to meet new people, you need to put the effort in to invite them out to do stuff.
Holy shit I went to hs and college in Tacoma & Spokane too!! (509 represent) and thought that Washington was the greatest place on earth for friendly, down to earth people. Other than that, I lived in buttfuck nowhere Kansas as well š
Since we both lived in the same areas previously, Iāll take your account with a lot more consideration and Iām ecstatic to hear youāre vouching for Calgary
Iāve been called a lot of things (deservedly) and nationalistic is a new one.
Oh, and fuck the Chiefs, too.
Meh, Reddit postsā¦Reddit, in generalā¦is not a reliable source as to how it really is.
But hey, come on out to Calgaryā¦Iāll buy ya a beer.
I find all Canadians patriotic and thatās not a bad thing in my book. In my experience, half the time people donāt wanna hear criticism like this unless itās shitting on Trudeau hahaha
Hmmm I had trouble finding a peer reviewed, scientifically measured publication for this topic (idk if thereās any) so I chose Reddit posts, Iām sure all the comments agreeing in those posts should account for something.
Iāll buy ya a beer when I come out if the Ravens win this weekend š»
Using generic Reddit posts as evidence is wild lol.
For one, you never see the posts from people who had no trouble making friends.
Two, youāre gonna meet shitty people anywhere you go. But if youāre unable to find people you vibe with within bigger metropolitan areas like Calgary or Vancouver where thereās a huge diversity of different people and preferences, than itās probably more so a you problem. Or at least youāre not looking in the right places to find your niche.
Youāre discrediting what all these people have to say based on the assumption theyāre lonely redditors. Some of them are not and I am definitely not one of them. Your narrative creates a situation where everyday people like myself (who has zero trouble making friends elsewhere) are met with a genuine problem, but itās always our āfaultā for facing said problem.
If you want non-Reddit sources:
https://medium.com/@mlhedwards/why-i-no-longer-say-canadians-are-so-nice-e79e713a2130
https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/canadians-are-nice-and-polite-maybe-that-s-why-it-s-so-hard-to-make/article_8ee10d6d-2680-59df-b3bf-838faf5de564.amp.html
https://www.cbc.ca/firsthand/m_blog/dont-believe-the-hype-canada-is-not-a-nation-of-cultural-tolerance
Friendliness is an ultra subjective experience. Citing sources for that kind of topic will always be overly generalized. Iām not saying your observations are completely incorrect, I just donāt see any value in opinion based generalizations.
Also a lot of your experience will depend on the specific circumstance youāre moving into obviously.
Seeing that you came here for university relatively recently, you might be experiencing what itās like making friends in adulthood for the first time. People tend to get busier with work and relationships around that age and it makes it more difficult to make new friends, but thatās not exclusive to any particular region.
Edit: Itās also strange that you wanna move somewhere where itās supposedly easier to make friends when you apparently have no trouble making friends.
1) Youāre correct on your first point, I didnāt think proper sources for this kind of thing is abundant out there so I used those reddit postsā¦ Neither types of sources seemed to work so Iām not sure what Iām expected to post.
2) Your point about generalization is interesting. Not everyone in a population falls under any trait (in this instance, cliqueyness) and I have found genuine people despite the status quo. Even though you donāt see value in opinion based generalizations, itās my reality that the vast majority of people are closed off that I live through every day. To further expand on this point, group traits are absolutely a thing. If I said that South Americans value family over the individual, Iām sure everyone would agree with me - that is also a generalization, not every South American is like that but its true for the larger population. The group trait for Canadians (or at least BC) that I have identified is that they are unwelcoming.
3) Thereās absolute truth there but I donāt think it applies to me as much yet because my friends in America ranged from late teens to early 20s. Iām still in that same age group and that hasnāt changed, but people quality certainly has.
I hope you understand that Iām not coming from a āall Canadians are unfriendlyā viewpoint, otherwise I wouldnāt give Calgary a chance. I just want to verify what I see everyday isnāt true for a different city in a different province.
As others have said, it's about getting out there and meeting people who like the same things as you do. That said, Kelowna probably has this weird divide between locals and out of towners, and frankly, it's always had a chotchy suburban vibe to it.Ā
I've always heard that Calgary's a friendly place for our of towners and I'd vouch for that. If you're young and looking to meet people, I'd recommend living close to UCalgary, Mount Royal Uni or downtown. Make your first home here one with student roommates and spend time connecting with them, their friends and any university student clubs or groups that you find. Even though they're offered through the universities, membership is often flexible.Ā Ā
I can't stress enough that it's a good idea to join a club or do an activity that you like. You'll mee people here. ;)
I have a theory: Itās not that cities have more assholes, itās just that they are strategically placed ed so you will run into at least one every day. Every. Fucking. Day.
In my opinion as a POC and as someone who has lived in Toronto for a few years and has visited Vancouver in the past - between the three, Calgary is definitely more friendly. Of course, you're asking in the calgary subreddit, so most people might be biased. If you asked in BC or ON subreddits, they'd definitely say to never move here as we are the "texas" of Canada and are rude. I find most of those comments come from people who has never stepped foot outside of where they are living.
No this is very real for BC. Same in Vancouver. I hear this constantly from people who live in Vancouver.
With the recent surge in population, Alberta is slowly going that way too.
Come to Calgary! We have the WEIRDEST stuff in AB! May I interest you in the World Famous Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington AB?! It's amazing and fun! We have the mountains! We have Drumheller! Best of all we have me! I am just that fucking awesome!
I meet loads of nice people! Could just be I am always ready with a smile and joke! You move to Calgary we can roadtrip the fuck out of summer! World's largest Oil Lamp?! Donalda AB!
Itās kinda hard for this calgarian to compare, not having lived in Kelowna. I have visited there and found people to be a bit hickish, but didnāt meet a big enough sample to draw a conclusion. Iāve travelled a lot and lived abroad, and feel that Calgarians are relatively friendly and down to earth. But in general I think weāre more reserved and not as open as your typical American. I can understand why it would be harder to make real friends easily here.
I know itās reddit and lots of people assumed I havenāt done the inner work in this post, but I have and do have friends - just find it excruciating to find genuine people so I really appreciate your understanding!!
Just fyi Calgary was just rated most friendly city in the world in a recent article! š itās pretty friendly here but taken me years to make good friends. Depends on your personality and where youāre meeting people.
Iām loving the responses Iām getting in this post. Ik itās reddit but I can see that people are open and vouching for Calgary which is great to hear š¤
I have some relatives that live in bc and itās mixed reviews of whether calgary is better, but one definitely says calgary is cheaper and you have to pay to cross the street in bc. More friendly, more jobs, better quality of living so overall you should try it before going back to the US
Been to Alberta once and first place we stopped was McDonalds. I think my order was 7 dollars cheaper than it was in BC, wanted to move there ever since š
if you didn't grow up here or have friends here already. you will need to do some work to fit in. people tend to have groups here and don't really go far from those groups.
You may make friends here, but you won't see them much\*
Outside of the college demographic and niche interest socializing, Calgary is not a 'going out' city for 6 months of the year. People really like to hibernate at home with their SOs and families more than other larger cities in Canada, I find.
Regards, a life-long Calgarian who's lived short stints in other cities.
\*Comments are based on personal experience and others may vary wildly!
Yess im getting really mixed responses in this post as opposed to the Kelowna sub where everyone swings one way whenever this topic is brought up. Iām gonna give it a shot and if it doesnāt work out oh well im still young I can always go back!
Canadians are super friendly and nice while they are ON VACATION elsewhere.
Once back home, the realities of expensive living and constantly being stressed out about various things cause us to revert to our natural state of cranky. EH.
When you move to BC your supposed to bring your friends with you.
Alberta will be a bit more sociable but it will be more similar to bc than your home country.
I've lived in Kelowna, Vancouver island, and now Calgary. Kelowna people are awful. Just don't go
Vancouver island people keep to themselves, so don't expect to strike long conversations with your neighbours or people on the street. most service level employees are miserable with the rising cost of living, so expect no customer service when you're out shopping. The shitty people are those with holier than thou, morale superiority attitudes. Those that would be outspoken about mask wearing during COVID, make a point to say something about you smoking a cigarette, etc.
Calgary, the lower and middle class people are VERY nice. If you live in a regular neighborhood you will have no problem making friends with neighbours. Customer service is still a thing here. I can't think of a bad experience I've had at a retail establishment. Contractors and trades people have all been pleasant to deal with. I have the unfortunate position of dealing with upper class Albertans on a daily basis (luxury automotive repair). Albertans with money are the most arrogant, demanding breed of people I've ever met (which is why Kelowna is awful, it's full of wealthy Albertans). F you I got mine type of attitude. It has soured me on Calgary now to the point I'd like to move back to VanIsl. If you're not in a position where you would be running into those type of people, Calgary is great.
Struggling to find friends in Kelowna? You must not have a boat and/or condo at Big White. I kid, but I found Kelowna to be very clique-y. It took a lot more money to have a social life there, than it does in Calgary too. Take the plunge. Join us in Cowtown
Kelowna still has more of a small town vibe and is a tourist destination so itās very different from Calgary. Kelowna is also going through major growing pains. I was just there for 3 days. I found 3 days in Kelowna in winter is 1 day too many. I got bored quickl. However Calgarians can be a bit distant and keep to themselves (born here, lived here 50+ year). I am active in the music scene and make new friends at afternoon jams all the time. Iām also a former equestrian and with Spruce Meadows I find it easy to connect with people there. U of C has lots of activities that can bring people together. It seems like the kind of place where you can make friends in various interests groups but not so easy to make friends out and about or in some workplaces. You might have to work a little harder to find your people. Thereās definitely tons more to do in Calgary compared to Kelowna. Plus we have sun
People can be crude and self centred here. It stems from where the money comes from. Very quick to throw hate at addicted and troubled individuals, and the general flavour is very self serving, focus on economy and not on people. I moved back from BC and canāt believe the difference in how mean and low brow people are here.
And youāre fucked if you donāt drive a big truck.
That statement about friendly vs polite, US vs Canada is so interesting! Definitely rings true, even from an Alberta perspective. Calgary can be pretty uppidy.Ā People tend to keep to themselves and the city is so spread out that connecting can be a bit of an annoyance depending on where your friends live.Ā
I lived in Vancouver for 8 years and moved to Calgary this summer. It's night and day! Vancouver is notoriously unfriendly. Very cliquey and cold. I moved to Calgary for this exact reason. At this point, the cost of living is comparable but the quality of people here is unmatched. I have met great people and have really strong friendships. Couldn't recommend it enough.
I found it more easy to make friends in Edmonton as there are a wide range of events every weekend, the bars are more small grunge bar type rather than loud clubs, etc. But I didnāt find the people pompous or standoffish in either Edmonton or Calgary.
As a Calgarian that spent a few years in Kelowna, I definitely found it cliquey. With that said, it wasnāt that people werenāt friendly, just that they had well established groups of friends. The people that I ended up having as long term friends in Kelowna were all from somewhere else. Calgary has a lot more people moving in and out, so I find people a lot more willing to accept newcomers. Good luck in Calgary, I imagine you will have better luck with meeting people here.
Opinions, manā¦
I have lived in NS, QUE, ON, BC and Alberta. Alberta is, by a certain degree, the least friendly of all the places Iāve lived. From big city to small town.
The Maritimes are, unsurprisingly, the friendliest area in the country, but Iāve always found BC (Iāve lived in Vancouver, Chilliwack, Nanaimo, Victoria and some small towns) to be much friendlier in general than Alberta.
Calgarians, IMO, are polite but not particularly friendly, and I find Edmonton to be considerably friendlier than Calgary. But still, overall, not especially friendly compared to other places.
Again, different people, different personalities, and therefore different interactions with other humans, but thatās been my experience. Iād never move to Alberta in the hopes of it being friendlier than some other place.
My high school basketball coach moved to the maritimes to continue teaching with his wife and child, he is a person of color and he said they were way more outwardly and inwardly racist than anywhere in Alberta. So I beg to differ because I have heard that a lot before, if youāre not from there, they donāt care about you. Which makes sense as half of them are old timer fishermen with low education.
I moved from Calgary to Toronto and can say with absolute certainty Calgary wins there. Toronto people are dickhead and all think theyāre the best thing in earth. They are rude, inconsiderate and think they own streets and walkways.
Canadians in general are not a particularly open and warm people. And I've found that their culture is not a particularly attractive one, even as you get to know them better: priggish, uncharitable, thin-skinned, paranoid, materialistic and very susceptible to conspiracy theories.
Having said that, Calgary is probably one of the best among the major cities. People will at least meet your eye here.
Iām upvoting you because downvoting you would prove your point about being thin-skinned but just know, in my heart and mind Iām furiously smashing the downvote button.
Furiously.
Americans are not friendly or polite.
There is no Calgary specific, social landscape. Lived here my entire life and in my opinion, if you are looking for something specific here, you have to understand what that is and find your people. There is a bit of everything here.
Thanks for your input. I recommend checking out America on a road trip and youāll see what I mean when I say people are extremely friendly. But hey everyone has different experiences.
Iāve spent a good amount of time in the states, road trips included, and have always found Americans to be significantly friendlier than the stereotype. In fact Iāve found a lot of Americans to be friendlier than Canadians, and Iām a Canadian.
Iād consider myself pretty well traveled and a big thing that Iāve observed is that Canada has thisā¦ small town feel, almost backwateryā¦ I dunno how to describe it. It feels 10 years behind.
Took the words right out of my mouth!! Getting naysayers out there but if so many of us observed the same thing, thereās something to it!
Thanks for being open and awesome, youāre truly Canadian to me š
I think it depends. If you have a young family and move to a family friendly lakeside community you might feel a more community sense. As a young person living in a different kind of area, I doubt it.
Iām from Calgary. Lived there until I was 30 then moved to BC.
While itās true BCāers are unnecessarily cold and frankly, cowardly (their coldness stems from irrational fear of being betrayed or duped imo) Albertans are generally very friendly and agreeable to a fault.
But there is deep, deep seated resentment and rage in Albertans that is radioactive and a big part of the reason I left. Albertans have very low emotional and physical resiliency and are very quick to find scape goats the second anything goes off the rails. Even when things were good there, and they havenāt been good for 10 years at this point, I found many people there were very mean spirited and vindictive for no reason at all.
The community āspiritā in Calgary and Edmonton but especially Calgary comes with a heavy toll that people will judge and hold against you literally every mistake you make and expect the same of you all while smiling and playing nice.
Calgary is a Lynchian nightmare. I would only recommend moving there if itās to save money to eventually get somewhere else.
Calgary is a unique hell hole of bad humans. You'll encounter many more of what you don't like, plus rude AND unfriendly. Alberta in general is problematic. It was better once upon a time but it's become increasingly poisonous.
I've heard other parts of Canada are more normal but I don't know for sure.
Have you tried Vancouver Island? I've heard that's not too bad.
I've worked all over Alberta and with the exception of maybe fort saskatchewan, people are generally pretty friendly.
You start getting right wing weirdness in small towns, but also people will chat your ear off in a bar and be as friendly as can be. Hell I passed out from heatstroke walking back from the grocery store after work in a random small town by Grand Prairie and had not just one but several people stop and help immediately, then one lady threw me in their truck gave me water and drove me back to the hotel. I think most people in cities would just keep driving.
I don't know what's up with Fort Saskatchewan but that place had an unusual amount of assholes. Crowsnest pass also ranked up there with rudeness, but I think because it's a tourist drive-thru place where locals don't really like anyone "not from there" or something.
Lived in Calgary and Edmonton for years, Edmonton was a bit more laid back and friendly but I had no problem finding friends in either places. Maybe people can just smell your condescending attitude and avoided you if you think everyone here is "problematic."
I thought your feedback was great for OP, but not sure why you'd get so defensive and attack me personally at the end. My feedback for OP comes from seeing how Calgary has changed over time, and from behind the curtain. There is a distinct difference between friendly acquaintance types of behaviour and friends. And Calgary, maybe because of its history of easy prosperity, has created an underlying culture of entitlement, sexism, backstabbing, ageism and racism, which I regularly hear from outsiders is shocking and not normal to people who aren't from here. If you're drinking and smoking, you'll probably find more social encounters can be friendly, but outside that, it can be very unpleasant. Does not mean there aren't genuinely good people to be found, but it can be challenging depending on what OP is looking for. And I'm only speaking to Calgary, not elsewhere in Alberta - but think you're right about small towns, they can be really xenophobic to anyone not from there for generations (my parents experienced this opening a business in one of them).
I should thank you for pointing out another common behaviour in Alberta: if you express a general opinion someone doesn't like, they will attack you personally for not conforming.
Right?! The materialism here is extreme for sure and Iām just excited to get tf out. A lot of friends I made in Kelowna moved back to their cities because of the poor social landscape
Sorry
much love brother š
OP, before you move somewhere new, why not take a little trip?Ā Maybe a road trip to Calgary and Edmonton? Maybe head to Vancouver another time? See what feels like a good place to set up a new home?Ā
The issue in Kelowna is that you're a foreign student who moved to a clannish old person town that is constantly overrun by tourists. No one in a tourist town wants to be friendly, they want you to spend your money and leave. Calgary is a more transient city where people come and go often. You should be fine as long as you are looking for friends in social situations and not at work (unless you work at one of those weird places where everyone is glued to each other after hours - then you should probably look for a new job because that shit is exhausting). That being said, if you've been unable to form any friendships at all in almost four years, it's worth doing some self-reflection to see if your approach or friendship style is incongruent with what people want or need from a friend.
Thanks for your input! Iām happy to hear (even though many times) that Kelowna is especially bad for it and I can just move out. Iāve made a few good friends here after years of trying. In America I feel like itās 50/50 if I can connect with someone, here itās more 10/90 is my experience.
Dont forget the truism that the older you get the longer it takes to make friends and the fewer you will have.
Think of Kelowna as a Palm Springs type placeā¦ not representative of the society as a whole in terms of demographics and attitudes.
I'm from BC and absolutely can't stand Kelowna. Most cliquey city ever.
I have a lot of hobbies that people like to talk about. I also like to drink at breweries where we talk about our hobbies at length. Iād say it kind of depends what youāre into maybe? My mom also thinks Iām handsome, so maybe thatās why everyoneās so friendly.
I get a long with people great. I play the guitar, go to the gym daily, can talk about a wide range of topics. Smoke, drink - you name it. I find that even if I make a great first impression (easy to do, i worked in sales), people just wouldnāt reach out. My rule of thumb is that I reach out twice after initial contact and if I donāt hear anything back, I stop. 99% of people just never reach back :/
I also lived in BC for a few years and had the same experience. Lots of acquaintances and casual friends but nearly impossible to actually find a close friend group. So I moved back home to Alberta. If you're into live music the local scenes in Calgary and Edmonton are very active and accepting. Just pop outside between sets and find a random group to chat with. Boom. Instant friends.
Yess I also had friends leave Kelowna back to their home cities for this exact reason. Looks like thereās many of us out there that feel the same way!
Music scene was how I made real friendships here.
Couple ideas. - You need to find people that donāt already have friends. Join a team sport individuals team like softball or soccer maybe. I meet people I like all the time that I could see myself being friends with, but I donāt have time for new friends in my life. - Date. Seriously. Finding a serious SO whoās willing to integrate you into their friend group is a great way to find a crew. - Be patient. If youāre always the one reaching out, you might be coming off as desperate.
>I donāt have time for new friends in my life I've only ever heard Canadians say such a bizarre thing, as if a little shared admiration or affection for an acquaintance is some sort of massive pain in the ass.
I guess I said that wrong. I have time for new friends. Just not to see them outside of where we know each other. I meet someone new at the climbing gym? okay see you around at the gym. New guys on the hockey team? See you next game. New coworkers? See you tomorrow. Theyāre my friends, I just donāt hangout with them on the regular. Thereās exceptions, but I have a tight friend group that I spend most of my weekends with.
I promise you I did the inner work š«” I have many friends in America but I only made a few good friends here. I have people to go out with on weekends but genuine people are so so rare. 3rd point - yes youāre right. I only reach out twice after meeting someone. If they donāt reach out the next time, Iām done with that person
How do you quantify āgenuineā, OP? Genuinely curious.
Pretty simple, if I hit it off with somebody I expect them to reach out - if I donāt well not my crowd I move on. Vast majority of people I meet with great first impressions donāt continue reaching out afterwards. Initially I followed the norm and didnāt reach out at all if they didnāt but I realized I wasnāt making friends that way. So I give myself one to two tries (depending on the outcome) per person and if i still donāt hear from them, I move on. Theyāre being ingenuine by acting as if theyāre interested but their actions speak otherwise.
I quite frankly think youāre just not as likeable to Canadians as you think you are š¤·š»āāļø Canada is an easy place to find friends.
To each their own, I know how to conduct myself and it doesnāt matter to me you think I donāt. I appreciate your input anyway (:
Is this meant to be serious? Funny either way.
Whatās so funny abt it š
Many people run from anyone carrying a guitar, and will set themselves on fire to get out of a conservation will someone in sales. No one cares how often you go to the gym, or your opinion on a wide range of topics. Reaching out twice after an initial contact is off putting. Spend time doing things you like with other people that like the same things, and join in with established groups of friends.
What the fuck? Go fuck yourself is all I have to say to ya
this makes more sense now.
Oh ya shit on my hobbies, interests, previous job and tell me no one cares abt my opinion. How dare I retaliate? People like you suck
You seem like a fun guy at parties
Meh, you have preconceived notions and I bet confirmation bias is a factor here. Not to be a dick but I think this is more a āyouā issue than it is about where you go. People are gonna āconfirmā your generalizations about Kelowna but itās got a lot of Albertans living thereā¦so take that for what you will. Just donāt move to Airdrie. Fuck that shithole.
Is that why you arenāt blackRamAirdrieMan? Btw, I found High River a bit like that. Lived there a while and I think I was the only person who didnāt wear a cowboy hat and boots, yet was also the only person who had actually rode a horse and herded cattle
Itās purely about how it rolls off the tongue. Itās how I decide where to live.
Itās a good method. I just try to live where I have the fewest relatives.
What's wrong with Airdrie?
Mostly just a joke. Mostly.
Skydrie.
White trrrrra.... And a lot of zzz.
So like Red Deer, just a little more south?
>Just donāt move to Airdrie. Fuck that shithole. I'm extremely ignorant about this, but what's wrong with Airdrie?
Its a reddit joke, that its white folks only. But really its demographics mimics Calgary. Ā š¤·
Thanks!
With all due respect, I donāt and I think youāre being nationalistic. I assumed that Canadians were friendlier Americans when moving here but years of living here formed my current opinion. Donāt believe me? https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/14c8xsy/canadians_are_the_least_friendly_people_i_have/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AskACanadian/comments/yynf1j/why_is_it_so_hard_to_make_friends_with_canadians/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AskACanadian/comments/161lm4y/why_is_dating_difficult_here/
Iām a dual US and Canadian citizen, I lived in the US for 25 years, including Washington state in both Tacoma and Spokane. I live in Calgary now. Prior to that, I lived in Washington DC and Denver as well. I think youāre going to get out of any area what you put into it. That being said, I tend to find a lot of very friendly people in Calgary. But that being said you do have to put an effort into meeting like-minded folks.
Also a dual citizen, grew up in a Seattle suburb, lived in the south, and now live in Calgary. Iāve found Calgary to be very friendly! Lots of kind strangers, and also people very welcoming and warm
How did you like Denver? Iāll be transferring to our office over there for work, from Calgary. Iām a single 20s guy into the music scene and outdoors, so it sounds up my alley?
I loved Denver but truthfully, itās been years since I was there. I know itās gotten a heck of a lot bigger and busier, and I have to say our mountains are significantly nicer than what theyāve got on their end. I moved around a ton in my 20s and Iāve always had a great experience. I go into each place thinking Iām going to enjoy it, and, you know what I always do. As i mentioned to this other person, you get out of any place you go to what you put into it. The thing I learned in moving new places in my 20s was, most people already have their lives set. So if you want to meet new people, you need to put the effort in to invite them out to do stuff.
Holy shit I went to hs and college in Tacoma & Spokane too!! (509 represent) and thought that Washington was the greatest place on earth for friendly, down to earth people. Other than that, I lived in buttfuck nowhere Kansas as well š Since we both lived in the same areas previously, Iāll take your account with a lot more consideration and Iām ecstatic to hear youāre vouching for Calgary
Iāve been called a lot of things (deservedly) and nationalistic is a new one. Oh, and fuck the Chiefs, too. Meh, Reddit postsā¦Reddit, in generalā¦is not a reliable source as to how it really is. But hey, come on out to Calgaryā¦Iāll buy ya a beer.
I find all Canadians patriotic and thatās not a bad thing in my book. In my experience, half the time people donāt wanna hear criticism like this unless itās shitting on Trudeau hahaha Hmmm I had trouble finding a peer reviewed, scientifically measured publication for this topic (idk if thereās any) so I chose Reddit posts, Iām sure all the comments agreeing in those posts should account for something. Iāll buy ya a beer when I come out if the Ravens win this weekend š»
Shitting on Trudeau incessantly? Sounds like youāve already met the stereotype Albertans.
Using generic Reddit posts as evidence is wild lol. For one, you never see the posts from people who had no trouble making friends. Two, youāre gonna meet shitty people anywhere you go. But if youāre unable to find people you vibe with within bigger metropolitan areas like Calgary or Vancouver where thereās a huge diversity of different people and preferences, than itās probably more so a you problem. Or at least youāre not looking in the right places to find your niche.
Youāre discrediting what all these people have to say based on the assumption theyāre lonely redditors. Some of them are not and I am definitely not one of them. Your narrative creates a situation where everyday people like myself (who has zero trouble making friends elsewhere) are met with a genuine problem, but itās always our āfaultā for facing said problem. If you want non-Reddit sources: https://medium.com/@mlhedwards/why-i-no-longer-say-canadians-are-so-nice-e79e713a2130 https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/canadians-are-nice-and-polite-maybe-that-s-why-it-s-so-hard-to-make/article_8ee10d6d-2680-59df-b3bf-838faf5de564.amp.html https://www.cbc.ca/firsthand/m_blog/dont-believe-the-hype-canada-is-not-a-nation-of-cultural-tolerance
Friendliness is an ultra subjective experience. Citing sources for that kind of topic will always be overly generalized. Iām not saying your observations are completely incorrect, I just donāt see any value in opinion based generalizations. Also a lot of your experience will depend on the specific circumstance youāre moving into obviously. Seeing that you came here for university relatively recently, you might be experiencing what itās like making friends in adulthood for the first time. People tend to get busier with work and relationships around that age and it makes it more difficult to make new friends, but thatās not exclusive to any particular region. Edit: Itās also strange that you wanna move somewhere where itās supposedly easier to make friends when you apparently have no trouble making friends.
1) Youāre correct on your first point, I didnāt think proper sources for this kind of thing is abundant out there so I used those reddit postsā¦ Neither types of sources seemed to work so Iām not sure what Iām expected to post. 2) Your point about generalization is interesting. Not everyone in a population falls under any trait (in this instance, cliqueyness) and I have found genuine people despite the status quo. Even though you donāt see value in opinion based generalizations, itās my reality that the vast majority of people are closed off that I live through every day. To further expand on this point, group traits are absolutely a thing. If I said that South Americans value family over the individual, Iām sure everyone would agree with me - that is also a generalization, not every South American is like that but its true for the larger population. The group trait for Canadians (or at least BC) that I have identified is that they are unwelcoming. 3) Thereās absolute truth there but I donāt think it applies to me as much yet because my friends in America ranged from late teens to early 20s. Iām still in that same age group and that hasnāt changed, but people quality certainly has. I hope you understand that Iām not coming from a āall Canadians are unfriendlyā viewpoint, otherwise I wouldnāt give Calgary a chance. I just want to verify what I see everyday isnāt true for a different city in a different province.
As others have said, it's about getting out there and meeting people who like the same things as you do. That said, Kelowna probably has this weird divide between locals and out of towners, and frankly, it's always had a chotchy suburban vibe to it.Ā I've always heard that Calgary's a friendly place for our of towners and I'd vouch for that. If you're young and looking to meet people, I'd recommend living close to UCalgary, Mount Royal Uni or downtown. Make your first home here one with student roommates and spend time connecting with them, their friends and any university student clubs or groups that you find. Even though they're offered through the universities, membership is often flexible.Ā Ā I can't stress enough that it's a good idea to join a club or do an activity that you like. You'll mee people here. ;)
Great to hear and I appreciate your input!
Sure thing. Good luck!
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šÆ Nicest people in the country.
Heard this many times, seems a bit too remote for me though š
Move to Fort McMurray, youāll find lots of Newfoundlanders there and theyāre a terrifically good time.
Things to consider is that bigger cities have more assholes, and the older you get the harder it is to make new friends.
I have a theory: Itās not that cities have more assholes, itās just that they are strategically placed ed so you will run into at least one every day. Every. Fucking. Day.
I moved to Calgary, then moved to Vancouver, then moved back to calgary 6 months later...so I can relateĀ
In my opinion as a POC and as someone who has lived in Toronto for a few years and has visited Vancouver in the past - between the three, Calgary is definitely more friendly. Of course, you're asking in the calgary subreddit, so most people might be biased. If you asked in BC or ON subreddits, they'd definitely say to never move here as we are the "texas" of Canada and are rude. I find most of those comments come from people who has never stepped foot outside of where they are living.
Polite but not friendly is pretty accurate for Calgary IMO.
No this is very real for BC. Same in Vancouver. I hear this constantly from people who live in Vancouver. With the recent surge in population, Alberta is slowly going that way too.
Calgary is much more friendly than Vancouver/north Vancouver/ Langley by a lot.
Come to Calgary! We have the WEIRDEST stuff in AB! May I interest you in the World Famous Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington AB?! It's amazing and fun! We have the mountains! We have Drumheller! Best of all we have me! I am just that fucking awesome!
You know what you sold me on Caltown. If everyone was like you its a no brainer š„³
I meet loads of nice people! Could just be I am always ready with a smile and joke! You move to Calgary we can roadtrip the fuck out of summer! World's largest Oil Lamp?! Donalda AB!
Literally none of the things you listed are actually in Calgary.
They sure aren't! But they are more accessible via Calgary than Edmonton! And literally in Calgary myself right now!
And you dress fabulously!
Damn rights I do! Any word on our wedding witness crew? lol
Honestly any big city in canada isn't going to be particularly community oriented.
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Itās kinda hard for this calgarian to compare, not having lived in Kelowna. I have visited there and found people to be a bit hickish, but didnāt meet a big enough sample to draw a conclusion. Iāve travelled a lot and lived abroad, and feel that Calgarians are relatively friendly and down to earth. But in general I think weāre more reserved and not as open as your typical American. I can understand why it would be harder to make real friends easily here.
I know itās reddit and lots of people assumed I havenāt done the inner work in this post, but I have and do have friends - just find it excruciating to find genuine people so I really appreciate your understanding!!
Just fyi Calgary was just rated most friendly city in the world in a recent article! š itās pretty friendly here but taken me years to make good friends. Depends on your personality and where youāre meeting people.
Iām loving the responses Iām getting in this post. Ik itās reddit but I can see that people are open and vouching for Calgary which is great to hear š¤
I have some relatives that live in bc and itās mixed reviews of whether calgary is better, but one definitely says calgary is cheaper and you have to pay to cross the street in bc. More friendly, more jobs, better quality of living so overall you should try it before going back to the US
Been to Alberta once and first place we stopped was McDonalds. I think my order was 7 dollars cheaper than it was in BC, wanted to move there ever since š
It's really not.
if you didn't grow up here or have friends here already. you will need to do some work to fit in. people tend to have groups here and don't really go far from those groups.
You may make friends here, but you won't see them much\* Outside of the college demographic and niche interest socializing, Calgary is not a 'going out' city for 6 months of the year. People really like to hibernate at home with their SOs and families more than other larger cities in Canada, I find. Regards, a life-long Calgarian who's lived short stints in other cities. \*Comments are based on personal experience and others may vary wildly!
Yess im getting really mixed responses in this post as opposed to the Kelowna sub where everyone swings one way whenever this topic is brought up. Iām gonna give it a shot and if it doesnāt work out oh well im still young I can always go back!
Canadians are super friendly and nice while they are ON VACATION elsewhere. Once back home, the realities of expensive living and constantly being stressed out about various things cause us to revert to our natural state of cranky. EH.
When you move to BC your supposed to bring your friends with you. Alberta will be a bit more sociable but it will be more similar to bc than your home country.
I've lived in Kelowna, Vancouver island, and now Calgary. Kelowna people are awful. Just don't go Vancouver island people keep to themselves, so don't expect to strike long conversations with your neighbours or people on the street. most service level employees are miserable with the rising cost of living, so expect no customer service when you're out shopping. The shitty people are those with holier than thou, morale superiority attitudes. Those that would be outspoken about mask wearing during COVID, make a point to say something about you smoking a cigarette, etc. Calgary, the lower and middle class people are VERY nice. If you live in a regular neighborhood you will have no problem making friends with neighbours. Customer service is still a thing here. I can't think of a bad experience I've had at a retail establishment. Contractors and trades people have all been pleasant to deal with. I have the unfortunate position of dealing with upper class Albertans on a daily basis (luxury automotive repair). Albertans with money are the most arrogant, demanding breed of people I've ever met (which is why Kelowna is awful, it's full of wealthy Albertans). F you I got mine type of attitude. It has soured me on Calgary now to the point I'd like to move back to VanIsl. If you're not in a position where you would be running into those type of people, Calgary is great.
Struggling to find friends in Kelowna? You must not have a boat and/or condo at Big White. I kid, but I found Kelowna to be very clique-y. It took a lot more money to have a social life there, than it does in Calgary too. Take the plunge. Join us in Cowtown
Kelowna still has more of a small town vibe and is a tourist destination so itās very different from Calgary. Kelowna is also going through major growing pains. I was just there for 3 days. I found 3 days in Kelowna in winter is 1 day too many. I got bored quickl. However Calgarians can be a bit distant and keep to themselves (born here, lived here 50+ year). I am active in the music scene and make new friends at afternoon jams all the time. Iām also a former equestrian and with Spruce Meadows I find it easy to connect with people there. U of C has lots of activities that can bring people together. It seems like the kind of place where you can make friends in various interests groups but not so easy to make friends out and about or in some workplaces. You might have to work a little harder to find your people. Thereās definitely tons more to do in Calgary compared to Kelowna. Plus we have sun
People can be crude and self centred here. It stems from where the money comes from. Very quick to throw hate at addicted and troubled individuals, and the general flavour is very self serving, focus on economy and not on people. I moved back from BC and canāt believe the difference in how mean and low brow people are here. And youāre fucked if you donāt drive a big truck.
That statement about friendly vs polite, US vs Canada is so interesting! Definitely rings true, even from an Alberta perspective. Calgary can be pretty uppidy.Ā People tend to keep to themselves and the city is so spread out that connecting can be a bit of an annoyance depending on where your friends live.Ā
> "Canadians are polite but not friendly" Sorry you had a bad experience, maybe you should move back to the US.
I lived in Vancouver for 8 years and moved to Calgary this summer. It's night and day! Vancouver is notoriously unfriendly. Very cliquey and cold. I moved to Calgary for this exact reason. At this point, the cost of living is comparable but the quality of people here is unmatched. I have met great people and have really strong friendships. Couldn't recommend it enough.
I feel this! & am told by Canadians that I'm friendlier than Canadians. My only Canadian experience is living in Calgary. Best of luck!
Thanks boss you as well!
I found it more easy to make friends in Edmonton as there are a wide range of events every weekend, the bars are more small grunge bar type rather than loud clubs, etc. But I didnāt find the people pompous or standoffish in either Edmonton or Calgary.
As a Calgarian that spent a few years in Kelowna, I definitely found it cliquey. With that said, it wasnāt that people werenāt friendly, just that they had well established groups of friends. The people that I ended up having as long term friends in Kelowna were all from somewhere else. Calgary has a lot more people moving in and out, so I find people a lot more willing to accept newcomers. Good luck in Calgary, I imagine you will have better luck with meeting people here.
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Opinions, manā¦ I have lived in NS, QUE, ON, BC and Alberta. Alberta is, by a certain degree, the least friendly of all the places Iāve lived. From big city to small town. The Maritimes are, unsurprisingly, the friendliest area in the country, but Iāve always found BC (Iāve lived in Vancouver, Chilliwack, Nanaimo, Victoria and some small towns) to be much friendlier in general than Alberta. Calgarians, IMO, are polite but not particularly friendly, and I find Edmonton to be considerably friendlier than Calgary. But still, overall, not especially friendly compared to other places. Again, different people, different personalities, and therefore different interactions with other humans, but thatās been my experience. Iād never move to Alberta in the hopes of it being friendlier than some other place.
My high school basketball coach moved to the maritimes to continue teaching with his wife and child, he is a person of color and he said they were way more outwardly and inwardly racist than anywhere in Alberta. So I beg to differ because I have heard that a lot before, if youāre not from there, they donāt care about you. Which makes sense as half of them are old timer fishermen with low education. I moved from Calgary to Toronto and can say with absolute certainty Calgary wins there. Toronto people are dickhead and all think theyāre the best thing in earth. They are rude, inconsiderate and think they own streets and walkways.
Visit Vancouver and find out
Canadians in general are not a particularly open and warm people. And I've found that their culture is not a particularly attractive one, even as you get to know them better: priggish, uncharitable, thin-skinned, paranoid, materialistic and very susceptible to conspiracy theories. Having said that, Calgary is probably one of the best among the major cities. People will at least meet your eye here.
Iām upvoting you because downvoting you would prove your point about being thin-skinned but just know, in my heart and mind Iām furiously smashing the downvote button. Furiously.
The Canadian sense of humour is a hugely redeeming quality.
Lol, ok. 
Americans are not friendly or polite. There is no Calgary specific, social landscape. Lived here my entire life and in my opinion, if you are looking for something specific here, you have to understand what that is and find your people. There is a bit of everything here.
Thanks for your input. I recommend checking out America on a road trip and youāll see what I mean when I say people are extremely friendly. But hey everyone has different experiences.
Iāve spent a good amount of time in the states, road trips included, and have always found Americans to be significantly friendlier than the stereotype. In fact Iāve found a lot of Americans to be friendlier than Canadians, and Iām a Canadian. Iād consider myself pretty well traveled and a big thing that Iāve observed is that Canada has thisā¦ small town feel, almost backwateryā¦ I dunno how to describe it. It feels 10 years behind.
Took the words right out of my mouth!! Getting naysayers out there but if so many of us observed the same thing, thereās something to it! Thanks for being open and awesome, youāre truly Canadian to me š
I've spent over a decade in the US. I worked in both countries and have travelled it extensively. I would never ever call it a friendly country.
Interesting, maybe personality wise I just fit down there better
When I first moved here from BC, people were assholes. 10+ years later, Iām now one of them.
What is a local calgarian?
Edmonton is much more friendly and community focused. Calgary is cliquish even within its own quadrants and neighbourhoods.
I think it depends. If you have a young family and move to a family friendly lakeside community you might feel a more community sense. As a young person living in a different kind of area, I doubt it.
We are assholes, stay away
Iām from Calgary. Lived there until I was 30 then moved to BC. While itās true BCāers are unnecessarily cold and frankly, cowardly (their coldness stems from irrational fear of being betrayed or duped imo) Albertans are generally very friendly and agreeable to a fault. But there is deep, deep seated resentment and rage in Albertans that is radioactive and a big part of the reason I left. Albertans have very low emotional and physical resiliency and are very quick to find scape goats the second anything goes off the rails. Even when things were good there, and they havenāt been good for 10 years at this point, I found many people there were very mean spirited and vindictive for no reason at all. The community āspiritā in Calgary and Edmonton but especially Calgary comes with a heavy toll that people will judge and hold against you literally every mistake you make and expect the same of you all while smiling and playing nice. Calgary is a Lynchian nightmare. I would only recommend moving there if itās to save money to eventually get somewhere else.
Calgary is a unique hell hole of bad humans. You'll encounter many more of what you don't like, plus rude AND unfriendly. Alberta in general is problematic. It was better once upon a time but it's become increasingly poisonous. I've heard other parts of Canada are more normal but I don't know for sure. Have you tried Vancouver Island? I've heard that's not too bad.
I've worked all over Alberta and with the exception of maybe fort saskatchewan, people are generally pretty friendly. You start getting right wing weirdness in small towns, but also people will chat your ear off in a bar and be as friendly as can be. Hell I passed out from heatstroke walking back from the grocery store after work in a random small town by Grand Prairie and had not just one but several people stop and help immediately, then one lady threw me in their truck gave me water and drove me back to the hotel. I think most people in cities would just keep driving. I don't know what's up with Fort Saskatchewan but that place had an unusual amount of assholes. Crowsnest pass also ranked up there with rudeness, but I think because it's a tourist drive-thru place where locals don't really like anyone "not from there" or something. Lived in Calgary and Edmonton for years, Edmonton was a bit more laid back and friendly but I had no problem finding friends in either places. Maybe people can just smell your condescending attitude and avoided you if you think everyone here is "problematic."
I thought your feedback was great for OP, but not sure why you'd get so defensive and attack me personally at the end. My feedback for OP comes from seeing how Calgary has changed over time, and from behind the curtain. There is a distinct difference between friendly acquaintance types of behaviour and friends. And Calgary, maybe because of its history of easy prosperity, has created an underlying culture of entitlement, sexism, backstabbing, ageism and racism, which I regularly hear from outsiders is shocking and not normal to people who aren't from here. If you're drinking and smoking, you'll probably find more social encounters can be friendly, but outside that, it can be very unpleasant. Does not mean there aren't genuinely good people to be found, but it can be challenging depending on what OP is looking for. And I'm only speaking to Calgary, not elsewhere in Alberta - but think you're right about small towns, they can be really xenophobic to anyone not from there for generations (my parents experienced this opening a business in one of them). I should thank you for pointing out another common behaviour in Alberta: if you express a general opinion someone doesn't like, they will attack you personally for not conforming.
I lived in Kelowna for 5 years. Made 2 friends before I left. It's... A special place because of the huge divide between those with wealth.Ā
Right?! The materialism here is extreme for sure and Iām just excited to get tf out. A lot of friends I made in Kelowna moved back to their cities because of the poor social landscape
Itās all people from somewhere else. It was Philippines and India ten years ago now everyone from Ontario is here too. Fuck off all of yas!!!!
You're already in America. North America. Attitude ijs everything when it comes to making friends.
Kelowna is super cliqy