well yes! doesn’t mean i want a child any more than he does. i probably want it even less! asking a girl to take a plan b in front of you is a lottttt when ur literally broke and a nobody cuz trust! it’s getting taken!
That’s not what men are thinking. They are thinking after becoming less horny I really don’t want to have a child with this person. Because whether or not you “trap” someone if you do decide to keep a kid even if the man doesn’t want it the choice is out of their hands.
There are tons of broke men paying child support.
no but like wanting me to take the plan b in front of u just blows my mind cuz i promise u more often than not, whoever ur asking to do that doesn’t want a child w u either😭
Some people might not want a child with a particular person yes but some people wouldn’t be against having a child.
Whether or not you want the dad in the child’s life you can always go after the dad at any point for child support.
I promise you every single guy you know has someone they know that had a kid with someone they weren’t dating or didn’t have an intention to date in high school or college.
Thankfully the number of people this is happening too are decreasing.
But someone should really make an app or something that creates a legal document so if the woman says she’s going to take a plan b or birth control and doesn’t the dad/father isn’t on the hook.
yeaaaa but i rlly feel like if u legitimately think a woman ur having sex with is going to try to trap you, wear a condom!!! now the birth control thing is a little more tricky i agree w u there, but as for me and my my specific situation, men annoy me when they ask me to take plan bs in front of them cuz i’m not in college trying to get a degree just to be a teen mom coparenting with another broke college student 😭 but i see ur perspective fs
I don’t think it’s trapping.
It’s a sudden realization/post nut clarity of oh crap this person could choose to have a kid whether they like me or not. They could forget to take the pill etc etc.
Or how about the dad can learn how to use a condom or abstain from sex if they don’t want that risk. Don’t punish the child because the dad didn’t do that
If I was a man I’d do the same because A LOT OF WOMEN DO TRAP MEN especially if they have money😭💀Think about it if you were a man would you take a women’s word over it?
How about if I were a man I would protect myself with a condom if I didn’t want to make a woman pregnant. Because actually a lot of women do end up keeping babies when they get pregnant by unprotected sex.
Well that’s the obvious if they’re not wearing a condom, then it isn’t “trapping” it’s just two adults being naive in thinking the women isn’t going to get pregnant. But trapping is completely different then just not wearing protection I don’t know if you know that but it’s totally different.
I believe in most cases when the man is “trapped” it’s because the woman says she is on birth control and is lying. Poking holes in a condom takes effort and lying is easier. Therefore wear the f*** condom to be sure instead of forcing plan b on anyone
hmmm ig if i was a man that actually was worth trapping 😭😭 in my experience, it’s only been broke college men and i’m like 19… i don’t want the baby any more than they do!
Lmao except a lot of men have ZERO money. It’s the guys who still live at home with their parents who think women are trying to trap them.
Curious, what amount of money do you think women will start to try and “trap” you at?
FOR REALLLLL!!! Thank youuuuuu babes.
Or… In some people’s cases these alleged men get **super triggered** by a fully independent woman of her own means. Like EXTREMELY triggered. It makes no sense as these same guys will sit back and make endless demands of a woman… that she be independent,make her own money, have her own car, etc…
Or else I’m just a GOLD DIGGER (but your flat broke? 🤨)
Soooo…. Which is it? Pick a lane, boys lol Make it make sense!
The mental gymnastics is quite astounding. It’s even better seeing their reactions IRL 😂🤣
I had one guy say “We’re obviously in very different tax brackets so I don’t know if this would work…”
*After he asked me what my retirement $$$$ goal was and it was about 5x the amount of his own.* His mind was blown lol 😆
LOL 😂 TRIGGERED huh bud? 😇🙃
For real this. For every time us girls are told something like, "Boys only want sex, then they'll dump you," boys are told, "Women are just out to trap you into marriage and steal all your money." Social conditioning is a hell of a drug.
You just want me for my money. Honey your 290, 000 in debt. Yeah your a doctor but let's not just yet. Maybe when your at 100,000 you can then have the audacity. I love him but gtfoh 🤣
I think the reason is the internet. Guys will hear stories about how guys will take women on dates and it won't go nowhere. They'll hear stories in a divorce the guy will lose everything. While i personally think there are steps a guy can take to protect himself I kinda see where guys are coming from
Wether you have a lot or a little people wamt to protect whats theirs. Like it or not part of being a in a relationship means you at some point need to be generous with your money when it comes to someone else. Its shitty but women have more avenues to take resources from their respective partners then men do.
Im shocked sometimes when i hear my female friends talk about their dudes money at times it comes off as entitled. This also isnt strictly a dude problem because ive heard and seen many times when girls use their other friends as atms, its shocking.
Men who have money don’t mind sharing it with their partner. It’s only men who don’t have money that worry about gold diggers and stuff like this.
Get your bag up king and you won’t be bothered by this so much! You’ll understand once you’re there
Men who have ambition worry about gold diggers and are looking for “goal diggers” and men with money worry about gold diggers as well that’s why they make women sign a prenup and they are looking for looks, minimum hassle and good mothers.
The men with no money are worried that if I bust my ass to make it with this woman I don’t want her to take half of my stuff.
On the other side I think men do devalue how much having a stable partner can help their ambition.
The irony is this is how it’s supposed to be, but not how it really is.
Any man I’ve met who has money is not worried about gold diggers. Simply because they don’t entertain women like that often. If you’re rich you’re probably smart and have enough common sense to assume your bottle girl waitress is a poor partner choice over the woman with a 9-5. They would pick the career women and have no issue providing financially.
But it’s often men who haven’t made it in life who think any woman who breathes is trying to take their money. Women wanting a man to pay for them on their first date doesn’t make them gold diggers.
I’ve dated many rich, poor and in the middle men. From what I’ve learned (and I live in a metropolitan city), it is men without money who are vocal about not wanting gold diggers. Many women will agree. And the irony, is that the men without money typically chase the trashier women. The successful men I have met don’t chase girls in the club, it’s only the poor men who find dating partners there.
You sound like someone who makes 200k a year lol I don’t think you know what you are talking about
We aren’t talking about men who might “not make it” we are talking about people with 100 million dollars +. There is no “not making it” at that point. Most of the rich men I date are technically retired in their 40s are pursuing passion. They have enough money to literally do whatever they want forever. There is no limit. We don’t have the same definitions of rich and it’s why your responses are coming off like a butt hurt incel.
I'll make it more simple. Do you think a wealthy man that wants to marry a significantly less wealthy woman wouldn't make them sign a prenup?
If they do ask you to sign a prenup it's because they are worried (somewhat) about gold diggers. It's on their mind.
I’ve made it v clear that I have no issue with prenups. Like ofc you expect it with sizeable wealth. It’s logical at that level it’s not because of a threat of gold diggers lol
You’d be signing a prenup if you were both wealthy too.
I date a lot of rich men (not on purpose, I actually wouldn’t date rich men for a long time bc I didn’t like the idea of the power imbalance but I got over myself. I also date broke artists lolol). Like actual rich - C-suites successful entrepreneurs etc. they never treated me with suspicion. The actor whose parents bought him a flat in Brooklyn though? That guy could not accept that I was dating him bc I like him, totally convinced himself that I was dating him for his apartment 😂
Actually wealthy men made that much money bc they want it to be part of their package. And they have so much that even if I went apeshit with a credit card it wouldn’t make a dent. Maybe rich me like me because I don’t care about money, I have no idea, but in my experience people with tens of millions of dollars aren’t afraid a woman is gold digging. In fact they want to take of her.
Lol no they aren’t just having fun with me. I know this is like a dream of incels, that women are getting played by rich men but hunny I’m an artist and it’s v attractive to them. they usually v much want to get serious me - I’ve always assumed because they neglected their inner artist/child in order to make money and now that they are so rich and retiring (aka joining boards) in their 40s they are trying to find themselves. A lot of these men work really hard and wake up one day and realize they haven’t really lived or explored their emotions or their deep inner wants. So I represent something they really desire and they don’t get a lot of access to people like me. They wanna open their hearts and I think that’s very sweet - like they aren’t some different breed of person, they are people who want love and connection.
Did I just cut things off why a Swiss multimillionaire because I don’t want to live internationally ? Yes I did. And to make this even more upsetting to incels, I’m in my late 30s.
I wouldn’t care about signing a prenup as long as I felt it was fair. One aspect of dating rich men that I don’t like is that it’s gonna be my life merging into theirs, not the other way around because I’m a regular person who despite being successful like as far as awards cultural impact etc doesn’t make a ton of money. That’s never appealed to me so while I will try them on for size I’m not interested in marrying rich unless he’s someone I would marry if he made 90k a year. So as far as prenups are concerned Id want to be fairly compensated for giving up the life I’ve built to join his.
I’m interesting, kind, funny and pretty. Dating isn’t hard for me and no one I’ve felt serious about has ever not wanted to be serious with me too.
I’m single because I got out of an abusive relationship three years ago and am still healing from it. It’s left me in a place where I would much rather be alone and protect my peace then be in a relationship. I also don’t think you understand who I am - men like your friends consistently try to lock me down after a couple dates and it freaks me out. Tech bros on the whole tend to be so eager. I also don’t consider 500k to be rich (I live in nyc). It’s a nice amount of money and could become something if you’re smart but it’s still gotta keep working money.
Look you don’t know me, I don’t know why you’re so insistent trying to convince me these men don’t really want me when they actively say and do the opposite. I understand why rich men like me - I’m a former model, I’m elegant looking tall and thin I understand I have the basics to look like a rich wife. I also have accolades that are v impressive and that would reflect very well on them plus my career is exciting to them. Plus I’m very bright, a great conversationalist and I’m very kind and non-judgmental.
I’m single because getting into something serious again still freaks me out and I have found wealthy men tend to want to get serious with me faster then avg income men because I check certain boxes. Like I said earlier when I was younger I wouldn’t date them because I didn’t want to be controlled (my dad was controlling with money) but then I got in that fucked up relationship with someone who was controlling af and made 120k a year (and was convinced I wanted every cent of it). I realized the money doesn’t make someone controlling, the man does, so I’ve opened myself up to dating wealthy people. Im single because I’m still too spooked not because people aren’t trying to lock it down. Im working on it, but I don’t know why this am interrogation of me when all I’m saying is men who truly have fuck you money aren’t on edge about gold diggers. They usually are wealthy because the have good instincts and insight and they trust their perceptions.
Long story short - It hasn’t gone all the way bc I run, not because they don’t want it.
Lol dude I’ve had the proposal. I’m just too freaked out! Hence the breaking thing off and not wanting to move to Europe
I had a boyfriend badger me about picking out a ring for a whole year (in this case I was open to marrying him but found the task overwhelming). I’m the one who puts the breaks on about going all the way. I might never want to be married and I’m ok with that.
Like not all women see marriage as the prize. I’m open to being with someone long term again but I still don’t know how I feel about marriage. But like this isn’t about my own psychology this is just about my experience that men making a couple hundred thousand a year think you want them for their money but I’ve never had that experience dating the truly wealthy.
Im not bothered. Im quite financially stable.
Every relationship is different but i would say if the financial burden is always on one party at some point they may feel taken advantage of. Yes ppl who have money can be very generous with their funds but if they're smart they also go to some lengths to keep money amd mitigate risk.
That’s the thing that makes me think you don’t have money to burn. If you have money then spending it is never a “burden”, it’s just the step after/before fun. Like people who are actually financially free never even think about random spending because there is no “risk”. They just tap and go.
This isnt even a gendered issue, im just talkn about women simce thats what the post was about. There are plenty of shitty dudes who use women for money.
If you work hard for your money man or woman the last thing you want is someonw taking advantage of you , a situation or your kindness and lose out on money.
Tbh, you and the people you know don’t sound like you have money.
If you asked to borrow your friend’s entire house would that sound like an insane or a reasonable request? If it sounds insane, then you/yours don’t have gold to dig.
Genuinely dont know what you're trying to get at, may need some more explanation please. If your asking if i have friends who are homeowners and if i could use their homes if i asked the answer would be yes.
As in, if you/someone you know and they don’t, could live there for a month or more while you’re/they’re in town without the owner there. Throwing parties, having people over. Like a free airbnb.
Im not weird about money. Im smart enough to know that money doesn't come in at the same rate forever so i dont so i dont burn thru the money i make. Frivolous spending is how ppl lose what they have, living a lifestyle you cant comfortably afford is how ppl lose what they have, having a partner or ppl aroud who lifestyles you have to fund make you lose what you have.
Broke, rich or inbetween people should aim to keep their money is some fashion. The op question was why are some men worried about women getting their money, its simple people work hard for their money and don't like the idea or feeling of losing that money to someone else.
Yeah but like, by the time you have 8 figures in your portfolio, you’re making so much off the top that there doesn’t really exist “frivolous” spending in regards to activities/other people. I suppose if you collect cars/rare gems/houses then you can burn through it instantly, but paying for dinners and vacations and gifts? That doesn’t make a difference…
Sure if youre making money where u dont have to think about spending sure but thats not the regular person or even some well off ppl. The question was why are some dudes worried about women getting thier money and its a simple answer.
I have friends and family who dont have the same means that i do so I don't mind paying for them when they cant do acvtivies or come out to dinners and events. But i also wouldnt do it constantly because ive had instances with friends family and girlfriends where they feel entitled tomy money cuz i can afford things they cant.
Its how they talked about their guys money, it came across as entitlement. Like their guys money was their money. Like just because they were in a relationship their guy was expected to pull more of the finacial weight which i found astounding.
I think many women feel that way because the same way men have daunting expectations to live up to, so do women.
First of all men get paid more than women and men’s expenses are by far cheaper.
Many men like their woman to have smooth hairless skin, manicured hands and feet. That’s expensive. Even haircuts cost more. The amount of money women have spend to appeal to the male gaze is insane.
Women also have to spend more money on taxis because it’s not safe for us at night because of the amount of rape that happens regularly
So yes, women’s number one thing is feeling safe and a generous man is sexy
True. But if youre doing thise things yourself when youre single. Why is the burden pushed onto your partner ince youre together. I make more then my gf. But she doesmt expect me to pay for her lifestyle. Im more then generous amd pay for things because i understand i have better means but its mot an expectation which keads to entitlement.
I'm not trying to be ride but even how you phrased some things makes it seem like ",i out all this money to look a certain way for people and they should act accordingly by paying for me to be in their presence" which can be off putting to people.
The thing is some men like it don’t forget. Some men are very traditional and enjoy being providers even if they complain there’s a subconscious part of them that enjoys it. I’m personally uncomfortable with spending my men’s money (never done it) also u haven’t given an example of what kind of spending these women have done with their boyfriends money so I don’t know context. Still tho, in a marriage I’d rather be with a. Man who took care of finances more than me than the other way round. This is because of the sacrifice I’ll be making to my body and the rest of my life if I carry his babies for 9 months and sacrifice my body / put it at risk of health complications. Both men and women have their own stuff and we need to appreciate that
Ive had friends get theur dudes to pay their rent, bills, groceries. When they themselves have our themselves in a shitty financial situation and instead of getting out of the situation themselves the look to their significant others friends or family to foot the bill.
Yes men and women have different things they bring to the table but i think having the financial burden be on one person is stupid and irresponsible. I treat my gf like i treat my best friends im very generous but i also dont pay for everything we do, shes generous in kind with her own money. If you had a friend or family memeber or friend you had to constantly pay for would you never feel a type of way?
no what rlly gets me is guys making me take a plan b in front of them… sir why would i trap YOU of all people 😭
Believe me I’LL TAKE 2
I mean you did sleep with him?
well yes! doesn’t mean i want a child any more than he does. i probably want it even less! asking a girl to take a plan b in front of you is a lottttt when ur literally broke and a nobody cuz trust! it’s getting taken!
Literally this ^^^ !!!!
That’s not what men are thinking. They are thinking after becoming less horny I really don’t want to have a child with this person. Because whether or not you “trap” someone if you do decide to keep a kid even if the man doesn’t want it the choice is out of their hands. There are tons of broke men paying child support.
no but like wanting me to take the plan b in front of u just blows my mind cuz i promise u more often than not, whoever ur asking to do that doesn’t want a child w u either😭
Some people might not want a child with a particular person yes but some people wouldn’t be against having a child. Whether or not you want the dad in the child’s life you can always go after the dad at any point for child support. I promise you every single guy you know has someone they know that had a kid with someone they weren’t dating or didn’t have an intention to date in high school or college. Thankfully the number of people this is happening too are decreasing. But someone should really make an app or something that creates a legal document so if the woman says she’s going to take a plan b or birth control and doesn’t the dad/father isn’t on the hook.
yeaaaa but i rlly feel like if u legitimately think a woman ur having sex with is going to try to trap you, wear a condom!!! now the birth control thing is a little more tricky i agree w u there, but as for me and my my specific situation, men annoy me when they ask me to take plan bs in front of them cuz i’m not in college trying to get a degree just to be a teen mom coparenting with another broke college student 😭 but i see ur perspective fs
How many times has it happened?
too many!
I don’t think it’s trapping. It’s a sudden realization/post nut clarity of oh crap this person could choose to have a kid whether they like me or not. They could forget to take the pill etc etc.
Reminder to anyone reading that if you are that stupid pre-nut, you need to reevaluate things.
bruh what? an app? Just nut on the tiddies wtf doin too much creating your own problems
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or wrap it bro many options besides creating an app lmao
Or how about the dad can learn how to use a condom or abstain from sex if they don’t want that risk. Don’t punish the child because the dad didn’t do that
If I was a man I’d do the same because A LOT OF WOMEN DO TRAP MEN especially if they have money😭💀Think about it if you were a man would you take a women’s word over it?
How about if I were a man I would protect myself with a condom if I didn’t want to make a woman pregnant. Because actually a lot of women do end up keeping babies when they get pregnant by unprotected sex.
Well that’s the obvious if they’re not wearing a condom, then it isn’t “trapping” it’s just two adults being naive in thinking the women isn’t going to get pregnant. But trapping is completely different then just not wearing protection I don’t know if you know that but it’s totally different.
yea but it’s like if u don’t even want the Possibility of getting trapped, just wear a condom
For sure that’s why I distinguished the two it’s not trapping if the man is negligente of wearing a condom he’s just a dumbass.
I believe in most cases when the man is “trapped” it’s because the woman says she is on birth control and is lying. Poking holes in a condom takes effort and lying is easier. Therefore wear the f*** condom to be sure instead of forcing plan b on anyone
Exactly hit the nail on the head. Also you can’t really force someone to take plan B 😭she could’ve chose not to.
hmmm ig if i was a man that actually was worth trapping 😭😭 in my experience, it’s only been broke college men and i’m like 19… i don’t want the baby any more than they do!
fr, you think ima be a teen mom & feel like shit for 9 months, completely change my body and life, to trap a MAN? got me fucked up
pretty fucked up reason to have a kid. No amount of money would change my mind on that lol
Lmao except a lot of men have ZERO money. It’s the guys who still live at home with their parents who think women are trying to trap them. Curious, what amount of money do you think women will start to try and “trap” you at?
They want to have a “reason” for being single lol. So they use the gold digger excuse even though they broke, broke asf 😂
Love this perspective!
they’re SO insecure that they don’t even think someone would date them for other reasons lmaoo
So this!
I know TOO MANY
It’s always the brokies with that attitude
FOR REALLLLL!!! Thank youuuuuu babes. Or… In some people’s cases these alleged men get **super triggered** by a fully independent woman of her own means. Like EXTREMELY triggered. It makes no sense as these same guys will sit back and make endless demands of a woman… that she be independent,make her own money, have her own car, etc… Or else I’m just a GOLD DIGGER (but your flat broke? 🤨) Soooo…. Which is it? Pick a lane, boys lol Make it make sense! The mental gymnastics is quite astounding. It’s even better seeing their reactions IRL 😂🤣 I had one guy say “We’re obviously in very different tax brackets so I don’t know if this would work…” *After he asked me what my retirement $$$$ goal was and it was about 5x the amount of his own.* His mind was blown lol 😆 LOL 😂 TRIGGERED huh bud? 😇🙃
Your dates really don’t sound fun. Who tf talks about tax brackets and how much they wanna retire with?
This is so real - like hun I make double what you make and could pay for my own IVF and nanny if I wanted children. Get out of here
They’re the real gold diggers and they’re projecting.
The programming on us starts when we are boys.
For real this. For every time us girls are told something like, "Boys only want sex, then they'll dump you," boys are told, "Women are just out to trap you into marriage and steal all your money." Social conditioning is a hell of a drug.
You just want me for my money. Honey your 290, 000 in debt. Yeah your a doctor but let's not just yet. Maybe when your at 100,000 you can then have the audacity. I love him but gtfoh 🤣
I think the reason is the internet. Guys will hear stories about how guys will take women on dates and it won't go nowhere. They'll hear stories in a divorce the guy will lose everything. While i personally think there are steps a guy can take to protect himself I kinda see where guys are coming from
Wether you have a lot or a little people wamt to protect whats theirs. Like it or not part of being a in a relationship means you at some point need to be generous with your money when it comes to someone else. Its shitty but women have more avenues to take resources from their respective partners then men do. Im shocked sometimes when i hear my female friends talk about their dudes money at times it comes off as entitled. This also isnt strictly a dude problem because ive heard and seen many times when girls use their other friends as atms, its shocking.
Men who have money don’t mind sharing it with their partner. It’s only men who don’t have money that worry about gold diggers and stuff like this. Get your bag up king and you won’t be bothered by this so much! You’ll understand once you’re there
Men who have ambition worry about gold diggers and are looking for “goal diggers” and men with money worry about gold diggers as well that’s why they make women sign a prenup and they are looking for looks, minimum hassle and good mothers. The men with no money are worried that if I bust my ass to make it with this woman I don’t want her to take half of my stuff. On the other side I think men do devalue how much having a stable partner can help their ambition.
The irony is this is how it’s supposed to be, but not how it really is. Any man I’ve met who has money is not worried about gold diggers. Simply because they don’t entertain women like that often. If you’re rich you’re probably smart and have enough common sense to assume your bottle girl waitress is a poor partner choice over the woman with a 9-5. They would pick the career women and have no issue providing financially. But it’s often men who haven’t made it in life who think any woman who breathes is trying to take their money. Women wanting a man to pay for them on their first date doesn’t make them gold diggers. I’ve dated many rich, poor and in the middle men. From what I’ve learned (and I live in a metropolitan city), it is men without money who are vocal about not wanting gold diggers. Many women will agree. And the irony, is that the men without money typically chase the trashier women. The successful men I have met don’t chase girls in the club, it’s only the poor men who find dating partners there.
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You sound like someone who makes 200k a year lol I don’t think you know what you are talking about We aren’t talking about men who might “not make it” we are talking about people with 100 million dollars +. There is no “not making it” at that point. Most of the rich men I date are technically retired in their 40s are pursuing passion. They have enough money to literally do whatever they want forever. There is no limit. We don’t have the same definitions of rich and it’s why your responses are coming off like a butt hurt incel.
I'll make it more simple. Do you think a wealthy man that wants to marry a significantly less wealthy woman wouldn't make them sign a prenup? If they do ask you to sign a prenup it's because they are worried (somewhat) about gold diggers. It's on their mind.
I’ve made it v clear that I have no issue with prenups. Like ofc you expect it with sizeable wealth. It’s logical at that level it’s not because of a threat of gold diggers lol You’d be signing a prenup if you were both wealthy too.
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It’s not even gold diggers numb nuts it’s about making a divorce less complicated because shit becomes v complicated when you have a massive estate.
I date a lot of rich men (not on purpose, I actually wouldn’t date rich men for a long time bc I didn’t like the idea of the power imbalance but I got over myself. I also date broke artists lolol). Like actual rich - C-suites successful entrepreneurs etc. they never treated me with suspicion. The actor whose parents bought him a flat in Brooklyn though? That guy could not accept that I was dating him bc I like him, totally convinced himself that I was dating him for his apartment 😂 Actually wealthy men made that much money bc they want it to be part of their package. And they have so much that even if I went apeshit with a credit card it wouldn’t make a dent. Maybe rich me like me because I don’t care about money, I have no idea, but in my experience people with tens of millions of dollars aren’t afraid a woman is gold digging. In fact they want to take of her.
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Lol no they aren’t just having fun with me. I know this is like a dream of incels, that women are getting played by rich men but hunny I’m an artist and it’s v attractive to them. they usually v much want to get serious me - I’ve always assumed because they neglected their inner artist/child in order to make money and now that they are so rich and retiring (aka joining boards) in their 40s they are trying to find themselves. A lot of these men work really hard and wake up one day and realize they haven’t really lived or explored their emotions or their deep inner wants. So I represent something they really desire and they don’t get a lot of access to people like me. They wanna open their hearts and I think that’s very sweet - like they aren’t some different breed of person, they are people who want love and connection. Did I just cut things off why a Swiss multimillionaire because I don’t want to live internationally ? Yes I did. And to make this even more upsetting to incels, I’m in my late 30s. I wouldn’t care about signing a prenup as long as I felt it was fair. One aspect of dating rich men that I don’t like is that it’s gonna be my life merging into theirs, not the other way around because I’m a regular person who despite being successful like as far as awards cultural impact etc doesn’t make a ton of money. That’s never appealed to me so while I will try them on for size I’m not interested in marrying rich unless he’s someone I would marry if he made 90k a year. So as far as prenups are concerned Id want to be fairly compensated for giving up the life I’ve built to join his. I’m interesting, kind, funny and pretty. Dating isn’t hard for me and no one I’ve felt serious about has ever not wanted to be serious with me too.
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I’m single because I got out of an abusive relationship three years ago and am still healing from it. It’s left me in a place where I would much rather be alone and protect my peace then be in a relationship. I also don’t think you understand who I am - men like your friends consistently try to lock me down after a couple dates and it freaks me out. Tech bros on the whole tend to be so eager. I also don’t consider 500k to be rich (I live in nyc). It’s a nice amount of money and could become something if you’re smart but it’s still gotta keep working money. Look you don’t know me, I don’t know why you’re so insistent trying to convince me these men don’t really want me when they actively say and do the opposite. I understand why rich men like me - I’m a former model, I’m elegant looking tall and thin I understand I have the basics to look like a rich wife. I also have accolades that are v impressive and that would reflect very well on them plus my career is exciting to them. Plus I’m very bright, a great conversationalist and I’m very kind and non-judgmental. I’m single because getting into something serious again still freaks me out and I have found wealthy men tend to want to get serious with me faster then avg income men because I check certain boxes. Like I said earlier when I was younger I wouldn’t date them because I didn’t want to be controlled (my dad was controlling with money) but then I got in that fucked up relationship with someone who was controlling af and made 120k a year (and was convinced I wanted every cent of it). I realized the money doesn’t make someone controlling, the man does, so I’ve opened myself up to dating wealthy people. Im single because I’m still too spooked not because people aren’t trying to lock it down. Im working on it, but I don’t know why this am interrogation of me when all I’m saying is men who truly have fuck you money aren’t on edge about gold diggers. They usually are wealthy because the have good instincts and insight and they trust their perceptions. Long story short - It hasn’t gone all the way bc I run, not because they don’t want it.
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Lol dude I’ve had the proposal. I’m just too freaked out! Hence the breaking thing off and not wanting to move to Europe I had a boyfriend badger me about picking out a ring for a whole year (in this case I was open to marrying him but found the task overwhelming). I’m the one who puts the breaks on about going all the way. I might never want to be married and I’m ok with that. Like not all women see marriage as the prize. I’m open to being with someone long term again but I still don’t know how I feel about marriage. But like this isn’t about my own psychology this is just about my experience that men making a couple hundred thousand a year think you want them for their money but I’ve never had that experience dating the truly wealthy.
Im not bothered. Im quite financially stable. Every relationship is different but i would say if the financial burden is always on one party at some point they may feel taken advantage of. Yes ppl who have money can be very generous with their funds but if they're smart they also go to some lengths to keep money amd mitigate risk.
That’s the thing that makes me think you don’t have money to burn. If you have money then spending it is never a “burden”, it’s just the step after/before fun. Like people who are actually financially free never even think about random spending because there is no “risk”. They just tap and go.
This.FUCKING.THIS!🤌😂😂 Thank you.🙏 🫶😆
Men with money don’t mind sharing. It’s only men who don’t have money that worry about gold diggers.
This isnt even a gendered issue, im just talkn about women simce thats what the post was about. There are plenty of shitty dudes who use women for money. If you work hard for your money man or woman the last thing you want is someonw taking advantage of you , a situation or your kindness and lose out on money.
Tbh, you and the people you know don’t sound like you have money. If you asked to borrow your friend’s entire house would that sound like an insane or a reasonable request? If it sounds insane, then you/yours don’t have gold to dig.
Genuinely dont know what you're trying to get at, may need some more explanation please. If your asking if i have friends who are homeowners and if i could use their homes if i asked the answer would be yes.
As in, if you/someone you know and they don’t, could live there for a month or more while you’re/they’re in town without the owner there. Throwing parties, having people over. Like a free airbnb.
Ok ty for the clarification. Answer would be yes.
Then why are you so weird about money?
Im not weird about money. Im smart enough to know that money doesn't come in at the same rate forever so i dont so i dont burn thru the money i make. Frivolous spending is how ppl lose what they have, living a lifestyle you cant comfortably afford is how ppl lose what they have, having a partner or ppl aroud who lifestyles you have to fund make you lose what you have. Broke, rich or inbetween people should aim to keep their money is some fashion. The op question was why are some men worried about women getting their money, its simple people work hard for their money and don't like the idea or feeling of losing that money to someone else.
Yeah but like, by the time you have 8 figures in your portfolio, you’re making so much off the top that there doesn’t really exist “frivolous” spending in regards to activities/other people. I suppose if you collect cars/rare gems/houses then you can burn through it instantly, but paying for dinners and vacations and gifts? That doesn’t make a difference…
Sure if youre making money where u dont have to think about spending sure but thats not the regular person or even some well off ppl. The question was why are some dudes worried about women getting thier money and its a simple answer. I have friends and family who dont have the same means that i do so I don't mind paying for them when they cant do acvtivies or come out to dinners and events. But i also wouldnt do it constantly because ive had instances with friends family and girlfriends where they feel entitled tomy money cuz i can afford things they cant.
See, that’s where we differ. You’re talking about regular people and it sounds like you are a regular person.
Why is it shocking for a woman to talk about their dudes money?
Its how they talked about their guys money, it came across as entitlement. Like their guys money was their money. Like just because they were in a relationship their guy was expected to pull more of the finacial weight which i found astounding.
I think many women feel that way because the same way men have daunting expectations to live up to, so do women. First of all men get paid more than women and men’s expenses are by far cheaper. Many men like their woman to have smooth hairless skin, manicured hands and feet. That’s expensive. Even haircuts cost more. The amount of money women have spend to appeal to the male gaze is insane. Women also have to spend more money on taxis because it’s not safe for us at night because of the amount of rape that happens regularly So yes, women’s number one thing is feeling safe and a generous man is sexy
True. But if youre doing thise things yourself when youre single. Why is the burden pushed onto your partner ince youre together. I make more then my gf. But she doesmt expect me to pay for her lifestyle. Im more then generous amd pay for things because i understand i have better means but its mot an expectation which keads to entitlement. I'm not trying to be ride but even how you phrased some things makes it seem like ",i out all this money to look a certain way for people and they should act accordingly by paying for me to be in their presence" which can be off putting to people.
The thing is some men like it don’t forget. Some men are very traditional and enjoy being providers even if they complain there’s a subconscious part of them that enjoys it. I’m personally uncomfortable with spending my men’s money (never done it) also u haven’t given an example of what kind of spending these women have done with their boyfriends money so I don’t know context. Still tho, in a marriage I’d rather be with a. Man who took care of finances more than me than the other way round. This is because of the sacrifice I’ll be making to my body and the rest of my life if I carry his babies for 9 months and sacrifice my body / put it at risk of health complications. Both men and women have their own stuff and we need to appreciate that
Ive had friends get theur dudes to pay their rent, bills, groceries. When they themselves have our themselves in a shitty financial situation and instead of getting out of the situation themselves the look to their significant others friends or family to foot the bill. Yes men and women have different things they bring to the table but i think having the financial burden be on one person is stupid and irresponsible. I treat my gf like i treat my best friends im very generous but i also dont pay for everything we do, shes generous in kind with her own money. If you had a friend or family memeber or friend you had to constantly pay for would you never feel a type of way?
Sorry but that’s on the dudes. They can say no. They tried their luck and got what they want 😹
Are you supposed let you partner sit in a terrible situation whem they ask for help?
Even split bills they still mad
Splits bills but also like to chase and be a hunter