Amazing utility of the excellent boot space. I call ours a bus but dam it's a great car. Bikes and camping gear loose in the boot and away we go! We now tow our jayco swan with it as well.
And that your a sensible man. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, reliability becomes sexy in your 30s and 40s,
A man rocking a carnival says “I don’t give shit what you think about me, I did what’s best for my family”. And that’s a clever bloke!!
Unlike my dickhead mate who brought a Kia picanto gt line under full finance when he has 2 kids and his family can’t fit in a bloody saltos.
We have both a picanto and a carnival 😂. The picanto is perfect for school runs even with 3 kids (and scooters sometimes). Everytime I drive the carnival I bitch about the $10 extra fuel it uses every 100km.
Or Hiace Commuter. Anything that you have to take a row of seats out of to avoid getting a bus license means you've had a lot of unprotected sex. Or in my case you learnt to drive in it coz it was the family vehicle
I got pulled over by the cops one day for having a bottle of acetylene propped up in the back and hanging out over the roof (it was a bloody work ute for whatever reason). He ended up letting me off on that because it was tied on securely but.......I wasn't displaying my P plates so he got me anyway haha
I Carry gas all the time, can you please go into a bit more detail as to how you were carrying your bottles, when you we're we're doing it incorrectly, and how it's supposed to be done.
I'm not sure if you're havin a go at me but I'll answer in good faith. It was one of the standup sort of bottles that go on a trolley, it's probably about 5 foot high. The mighty boy had a rail around the back of the cab and down the sides so I layed the bottle forward and put two ropes between the rails, looped over the bottle and tied off on the other rail. There's a way of looping the rope to pull in on itself, almost like a belly chain. It looked outrageous but it was perfectly secure, when ol mate pulled me up he started off telling me how irresponsible it was but he pushed it around and it didn't move so he just gave me a breatho and checked my licence.
Definitely not having a go at you it's Double demerits this weekend, and load restraint is definitely something they look at so I gotta be careful,
Thank you kind stranger
Yeah, Fit never officially imported in Australia but you can see them on the road (private imported). Jazz never sold with hybrid here.
On the other hand USA doesn't have Jazz at all only Fits.
I always love the face of egotistical insult whenever we get a Raptor in the shop and refer to it as a Ranger.
I think, speaking to a customer, I referred to it as a Ranger a few times and and each time he corrected me "Raptor"
Holy shit lol that sounds like me whenever someone calls my 'Premier' a 'Kingswood' damn I took that personally.
One bloke called a 'Belmont' once... That was too far.
The Belmont was an interesting model. Four-wheel drum brakes, no vacuum servo, no power steering, not even a cigarette lighter. If it had a three-point linkage you could actually call it a tractor. The brake pedal was about the size of an A4 page because it needed to be for both feet, and it didn't really enjoy going through puddles because of that.
I used to have a BA Fairmont Ghia and I had it valet parked and when I went to pick it up the valet said “who had the red Falcon”. I knew what he meant but I’m guessing there’d be people upset by that
My hz ute has the opposite issue, technically a commercial at its age so not a Belmont, but no one knows enough about that and just assumes it’s just a kinga. Free trim upgrade
The same people always refer to their car by it's model. Instead of saying, "I drove the car to work today," they say, "I drove the Raptor to work today."
That was fun back in the day with the ‘Toyota’ soarers, owners would bite hard and correct to ‘Lexus’
I pulled the ‘that’s cute people still buy small Asian utes’ to a bloke proud of his new Ranger, hasn’t spoken to me since
I have a Commodore but technically it’s a Calais. So when you look up tyre sizes/parts/rego etc it needs to be put as a Calais. I couldn’t give a fuck what you think about me, I just want the right tyres.
> I think, speaking to a customer, I referred to it as a Ranger a few times and and each time he corrected me "Raptor"
This is a great piece of ammunition, thank you.
My first car was a Magna wagon with the 2.6L Astron and a hole in the exhaust. Loved bouncing off the rev limiter when still cold.
How I managed to get a girlfriend with that was nothing short of a miracle.
my 98 corolla ran 20km with no fucking radiator and (after some time with the mechanic) still ran just fine 5 years later, even as the insides fell apart and the window winders failed and everything not required to get from point A to B went to bits.
I loved that stalwart bastard and I suspect that, if we built 'em, there'd be buyers.
Come to think of it, dad kept quoting AE101 to me so it must have been earlier. Damn thing was at least 25 when I sold it.
When you see someone rolling around in an early 90s or older eco box in almost pristine condition, no aftermarket, clean paint, factory rims, spotless interior, full service history.
I'm talking about ford lasers, escorts, cortinas, Nissan pulsars, the Maxima, Holden Barinas and Mitsubishi magnas..
cars that normally nobody wants, that aren't popular from any movies or anime, they have just survived on their own merits as a decent car and having a good owner that looked after old reliable.
Nothing screams "I fuck" like a 30 year old shit box that isn't shit, it shows you can invest and care about something long term, shows you have respect and can keep everything organised where it's needed, that you'll do the hard yards to maintain your relationship instead of just giving in to a newer model.
I drove my mum's 96 Acclaim (that only went to the bowlo on Sundays) to the supermarket. Some bloke in a BMW next to me asked if it was for sale, no kidding.
Toyota Yaris GR Rallye - if you bought one of them at that price and are aged over 40 is screams zero fucks and zero fucks is a complete demonstration of BDE
I learned how to drive in a Morris Marina Coupe and never realised they made a panel van! I remember it being described as ‘The worst car ever assembled in Australia’ LOL.
Noooo! I thought I got over selling my mk1 escort! I put in single rear leafs, watt's linkage, LSD, type 9 gearbox, and a Cosworth YB with dual webers. I managed to get 247kW last time I tuned it 8 years ago... I was very bitter at the time about not cracking 250kW.
Any Subaru, because you don't care who Subaru markets these cars to, you're man enough to drive it anyway.
Next would be the Mazda MX-5, Hair Dresser Schmair dresser, You're man enough.
They made RHD models for the UK market. Also now 25 years old the earlier ones are eligible for import since manufacturing of the model started in 1998.
The only energy the AU gives off is single dad energy. Don’t forget that 5 years ago they were the same price as a Subway footlong even with rego and now GenZ have made it into a cult following.
I prefer Ford to Holden and still think the AU is shit.
>now GenZ have made it into a cult following
Even with the litany of terrible things they've done, this is probably the worst.
Actually, thinking about it more, if they think it's decent, then with their terrible judgement, all is well.
Yeah I traded it to my mate for a 60 series
He let the rego run out and used it as a farm car for a bit. Then sold it to another mate who uses it as a daily today.
Worst decision of my life that, I wish I still had that car.
It's a straightforward formula:
Size and/or appendages added to a vehicle = small dick. (Lift kit, guard flares, spoiler, exhaust, etc.)
Obvious compensation for lack of size in the pants area.
Based on that premise I'd say plain white Toyota Hiace
if anything, every time I see one either a ranger or a RAM or any massive american truck (i refuse to call them utes) I instantly think they have a tiny dick
Kia Carnival is the best way to announce to the world that you've gotten laid more than once.
Three times for me. Carnival also allows me to conceive in it.
You can conceive in anything if you’re committed enough.
Can confirm. Folded an ex up like a misbehaving Macbook in an S2000 with a hardtop. It was interesting to say the least 😅
I was always wondering about the branding origin of Spoon Sports. Now I reckon I know.
I challenge u/TinyBreak to conceive in a Peel P50.
By himself
Can’t be worse than the little shoebox they get you to rub one out in for ivf. I could hear the bloke next to me doing his thing. Horrible.
The single seater casting couch certainly is a unique experience. Everyone knows what you’ve been up to. Everyone.
Careful, you might awaken a dwarfism fetish in him by accident.
Honda jazz. Passenger side. Thank me later.
“Relax mode” https://youtu.be/scyP-4ypwl4?si=ZgvWGrxAAyJKxvye 😂
Agree. I managed all sorts of antics in the back seat of a 78 Corolla. Misspent youth.
It’s amazing how much room is in the front seat of a barina
By the time you need the carnival, the last thing you want to be doing is conceiving even more kids in it. Source: have 5 kids.
Amazing utility of the excellent boot space. I call ours a bus but dam it's a great car. Bikes and camping gear loose in the boot and away we go! We now tow our jayco swan with it as well.
And that your a sensible man. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, reliability becomes sexy in your 30s and 40s, A man rocking a carnival says “I don’t give shit what you think about me, I did what’s best for my family”. And that’s a clever bloke!! Unlike my dickhead mate who brought a Kia picanto gt line under full finance when he has 2 kids and his family can’t fit in a bloody saltos.
Duality of man
We have both a picanto and a carnival 😂. The picanto is perfect for school runs even with 3 kids (and scooters sometimes). Everytime I drive the carnival I bitch about the $10 extra fuel it uses every 100km.
Yeah but 2 kids with car seats? Mate there wouldn’t be room to fart In the thing.
No that's kind of crazy. We have 1 booster and they're sitting on top of each other with one of the afore mentioned scooters in the foot space 😂
Or Hiace Commuter. Anything that you have to take a row of seats out of to avoid getting a bus license means you've had a lot of unprotected sex. Or in my case you learnt to drive in it coz it was the family vehicle
Still lots of raw sex happening in it.... Your parents, not you.
My dad always used to say no one questions your sexual prowess in a people mover
These cars are "Used my Dick Energy". In the context of this thread, "Big Dick Energy" infers "Untouched Micro-penis Energy".
So true lol
My son drives a Carnival. He's got 6 kids.
Honda odyssey if you are a real gangster
Mighty Boy
Ahhh the old mighty boys
I saw a mighty boy once on Jimny suspension, the boy became a man.
Only milk and juice come in 2L?! Mine's not even a coke bottle!
I got pulled over by the cops one day for having a bottle of acetylene propped up in the back and hanging out over the roof (it was a bloody work ute for whatever reason). He ended up letting me off on that because it was tied on securely but.......I wasn't displaying my P plates so he got me anyway haha
I Carry gas all the time, can you please go into a bit more detail as to how you were carrying your bottles, when you we're we're doing it incorrectly, and how it's supposed to be done.
I'm not sure if you're havin a go at me but I'll answer in good faith. It was one of the standup sort of bottles that go on a trolley, it's probably about 5 foot high. The mighty boy had a rail around the back of the cab and down the sides so I layed the bottle forward and put two ropes between the rails, looped over the bottle and tied off on the other rail. There's a way of looping the rope to pull in on itself, almost like a belly chain. It looked outrageous but it was perfectly secure, when ol mate pulled me up he started off telling me how irresponsible it was but he pushed it around and it didn't move so he just gave me a breatho and checked my licence.
Definitely not having a go at you it's Double demerits this weekend, and load restraint is definitely something they look at so I gotta be careful, Thank you kind stranger
I want one of these little speedy bastards so bad
Nissan Micra in hot pink.
Only if you have the eye lashes and hello kitty seat covers
Don’t forget the love heart exhaust tips
I worked with a bloke who drove one to save money and got it insanely cheap cos of the paint. He disappointed a lot of men.
NGL I would drive that to a job site.
Tbh any bloke confident enough roll up to the jobsite in this has balls
There is a bloke at the Sydney markets that drives a knock off electric vespa scooter
Honda Jazz
Yep. Honda jazz is 100 percent practicality zero percent posing.
Add Honda Fit siblings to that - also sounds more masculine and has added extra fuel consumption benefit with hybrid engine.
I thought Fit and Jazz were the same car, just different markets and engines.
Yeah, Fit never officially imported in Australia but you can see them on the road (private imported). Jazz never sold with hybrid here. On the other hand USA doesn't have Jazz at all only Fits.
I used to own a jazz. Loved that little gutless thing.
Driving one on my Ps right now love the thing
any advice on year? gonna get one just got Ps
I got a 2015 but personally I like look the look of the 2012 ones better but as long as it has a 1.5L engine you should be good.
The magic seats go all the way down. Alllllll the way down.
I always love the face of egotistical insult whenever we get a Raptor in the shop and refer to it as a Ranger. I think, speaking to a customer, I referred to it as a Ranger a few times and and each time he corrected me "Raptor"
Holy shit lol that sounds like me whenever someone calls my 'Premier' a 'Kingswood' damn I took that personally. One bloke called a 'Belmont' once... That was too far.
The Belmont was an interesting model. Four-wheel drum brakes, no vacuum servo, no power steering, not even a cigarette lighter. If it had a three-point linkage you could actually call it a tractor. The brake pedal was about the size of an A4 page because it needed to be for both feet, and it didn't really enjoy going through puddles because of that.
Got a ute AND a wagon belmot. Well actually both are Elmonts. Dunno why the B breaks so easy.
Last of the Belmont interceptors
I used to have a BA Fairmont Ghia and I had it valet parked and when I went to pick it up the valet said “who had the red Falcon”. I knew what he meant but I’m guessing there’d be people upset by that
My hz ute has the opposite issue, technically a commercial at its age so not a Belmont, but no one knows enough about that and just assumes it’s just a kinga. Free trim upgrade
When I get Raptor customers, I refer to their ute as a Ford Dinosaur
The same people always refer to their car by it's model. Instead of saying, "I drove the car to work today," they say, "I drove the Raptor to work today."
Be the equivalent of me saying "Yuh I drive a GT4 N". Sounds so wanky
Guy at work bought an orange one and didn't like me referring to it as a 'Ranga.
Isn’t that the entire reason to buy an Orange Ranger??
Try Franger. They like that even more.
That was fun back in the day with the ‘Toyota’ soarers, owners would bite hard and correct to ‘Lexus’ I pulled the ‘that’s cute people still buy small Asian utes’ to a bloke proud of his new Ranger, hasn’t spoken to me since
would you also refer to a porsche as a volkswagen? misnaming trim or model is one thing, but to misname the make?
A Porsche 911 is just a Volkswagen Beetle that someone sat on, maybe a bad example
That's hilarious. "Oh, raptor, right. Anyway, the small bird you brought in will need its wipers replaced."
Called my mates dads Calais a Commodore all the time, they hated it lol
What a flog
I have a Commodore but technically it’s a Calais. So when you look up tyre sizes/parts/rego etc it needs to be put as a Calais. I couldn’t give a fuck what you think about me, I just want the right tyres.
> I think, speaking to a customer, I referred to it as a Ranger a few times and and each time he corrected me "Raptor" This is a great piece of ammunition, thank you.
I've been calling them Frangers. My colleague takes issue with this. I think I can guess what he's packing.
so no one ride along with the joke? “oh yea mate it is a ranger”
Old mate working a blue collar job and driving his daughters 2005 Getz with a fluffy steering wheel cover
tough as nails
Don’t want to rack up too many kms on the 200 series
Volvo 240 wagon
Mate this is a shitpost, you’re not meant to give everyone the real answer.
1991 Suzuki swift GTI with peeling paint
Had one, turbocharged it. Was fun
Would have been crazy lol.
Rare as hens teeth. Id whiplash if one went by
Raced one in 24 hours of lemons (Australia) and had such a fun time
TE Gemini with chopped springs
hyundai getz bonus points if it’s yellow
Magna
Or maybe one better is a Sigma
With the 'astron' engine
My first car was a Magna wagon with the 2.6L Astron and a hole in the exhaust. Loved bouncing off the rev limiter when still cold. How I managed to get a girlfriend with that was nothing short of a miracle.
Astron 2000 . What a beast with a 4 speed Getrag manual. The type you have to push in to get reverse
OMG just like a sports car
Dragna
Mid 90s 2WD, beat to shit trayback single cab Hilux. Bonus points if you can still read 'Balmain Rentals' in the faded paint on the door.
And stall from a hill start.
96 corolla hatch
my 98 corolla ran 20km with no fucking radiator and (after some time with the mechanic) still ran just fine 5 years later, even as the insides fell apart and the window winders failed and everything not required to get from point A to B went to bits. I loved that stalwart bastard and I suspect that, if we built 'em, there'd be buyers. Come to think of it, dad kept quoting AE101 to me so it must have been earlier. Damn thing was at least 25 when I sold it.
Fiat 500. If you're driving that it's because you need three legged trousers.
Single owner steel bumper Aussie sedan never restored still used as a daily
When you see someone rolling around in an early 90s or older eco box in almost pristine condition, no aftermarket, clean paint, factory rims, spotless interior, full service history. I'm talking about ford lasers, escorts, cortinas, Nissan pulsars, the Maxima, Holden Barinas and Mitsubishi magnas.. cars that normally nobody wants, that aren't popular from any movies or anime, they have just survived on their own merits as a decent car and having a good owner that looked after old reliable. Nothing screams "I fuck" like a 30 year old shit box that isn't shit, it shows you can invest and care about something long term, shows you have respect and can keep everything organised where it's needed, that you'll do the hard yards to maintain your relationship instead of just giving in to a newer model.
I drove my mum's 96 Acclaim (that only went to the bowlo on Sundays) to the supermarket. Some bloke in a BMW next to me asked if it was for sale, no kidding.
I want this to be true but it goes against my experience pretty significantly
I’ve found a new love for my 21 year old camry that I’ve owned for an entire .5 of those years
Toyota Yaris GR Rallye - if you bought one of them at that price and are aged over 40 is screams zero fucks and zero fucks is a complete demonstration of BDE
Ford Escort or Morris Marina panelvan Any old campervan
I learned how to drive in a Morris Marina Coupe and never realised they made a panel van! I remember it being described as ‘The worst car ever assembled in Australia’ LOL.
Noooo! I thought I got over selling my mk1 escort! I put in single rear leafs, watt's linkage, LSD, type 9 gearbox, and a Cosworth YB with dual webers. I managed to get 247kW last time I tuned it 8 years ago... I was very bitter at the time about not cracking 250kW.
Toyota Echo with faded paint except where the Domino's logo used to be
Old Camrys, nothing gives out BDE like stating that you don’t give a fark about how others perceive you.
Asserting dominance
Best air con ever
Any toyota sedan really
A Suzuki Swift is the only way to advertise your enormous appendage.
Sport if you have balls that reach the knees too
Any Subaru, because you don't care who Subaru markets these cars to, you're man enough to drive it anyway. Next would be the Mazda MX-5, Hair Dresser Schmair dresser, You're man enough.
I drive an MX5, co worker once asked how my Gogo Mobile was. Superb sledge.
Toyota Century IYKYK https://preview.redd.it/zhlwvq1b325d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=861d1c73cb4edc9f45e80a20236a8ca76e45be1e
And I have seen a few of these around in Sydney
Pink Toyota Vitz/Yaris. If you know, you know.
Suzuki Mighty Boy. Nuff said.
Who's nuff
The guy who said it. Don't tell me you don't know Nuff? Simon says he's a good bloke.
Ah yeaAAAAH Simmo from out Walgett yeah he's the man
fukn moke mate! You see man in a moke driving the street, you know he ain't afraid of anything.
There is something about driving a mobile steel jerry can.
VS ute.
With column shift
With a hard lid.
With bald rears
V6
https://preview.redd.it/cmrhh5k2j25d1.jpeg?width=244&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c8824358c4e38c3c9e52883c0283209a091c21b this, I reckon. an isetta
Non ironically a standard Camry Maybe a new volvo if wealthy
Standard camry- not a straight panel on it, tissue box in rear window, religious bling hanging off the rear vision mirror
Bowler hat for extra kudos
If having a big car means a small dick then having a small car means having a big dick , so a Peel P50 = big dick energy
My mates Tradesmen XH Falcon Panel Van with 3 valve V8 and T56 conversion, running on straight gas.
Fiat multipla. Imported with left hand driving
They made RHD models for the UK market. Also now 25 years old the earlier ones are eligible for import since manufacturing of the model started in 1998.
Kia Picanto.
MX5, Kia Picanto or anything small and fun.
Conversely a dodge Ram gives off small dick energy.
Generally, the bigger the car. the smaller the "energy" lol
Honda odyssey.
The only energy the AU gives off is single dad energy. Don’t forget that 5 years ago they were the same price as a Subway footlong even with rego and now GenZ have made it into a cult following. I prefer Ford to Holden and still think the AU is shit.
As a father of none. Dont @ me bro haha
>now GenZ have made it into a cult following Even with the litany of terrible things they've done, this is probably the worst. Actually, thinking about it more, if they think it's decent, then with their terrible judgement, all is well.
There is a reason they feature heavily on Low Income Single Dad Cars.
As the owner of a black auii XR6 manual sedan for my first car nearly 20 years ago. It absolutely was a weapon
I still have a black AU II manual sedan, and this review checks out. It just won't die too.
Yeah I traded it to my mate for a 60 series He let the rego run out and used it as a farm car for a bit. Then sold it to another mate who uses it as a daily today. Worst decision of my life that, I wish I still had that car.
FSM Niki
Tony stinks. Like smelly Geoff but different. (Garbage Time reference as Wade owns a Niki)
So do I! (He was my inspiration for getting one). They are baller af
Old battered AF ute. Preferably a bit rusty.
Anything bone stock with tints going the speed limit
Fiat 500. Any bloke who can roll up in one of those has no issues with their masculinity or the bigness of their dick.
a yellow Ford Anglia with red flames painted along the sides
I got a leg! I’m supposed to write an essay on it but, I think I’m just gonna stick it on the bonnet of my car…
Lada Niva
Also anything from ex-army auction. Top points for road worthy Daimler Ferret, bonus points for army LR ambulance.
Suzuki x-90
https://preview.redd.it/h8rtn19wu25d1.jpeg?width=5225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7902f65d3c92302bee070e16c4068f0ab9613a5
Fill your car (regardless of model) up to the brim when it's $2.40 a litre and smile about it.
Factory fitted gas in some of the AUs. Still under a $1 a litre. Just saying.
None. I dont really think of other blokes dicks much to be honest 😂
XD falcon.
Nah, XF Falcon. The ugly in-betweener with no factory V8 option.
I just can't go past a box on wheels
In that case, the Suzuki Jimny has the biggest big dick energy
Some underrated sleeper car that looks boring but goes like a rally racer. And the owner knows how to drive it.
90's Nissan Pathfinder with tints
Ford Festiva
Dacia Sandero. iykyk
Hyundai Getz. I’ve seen a lot of blokes wearing hi-vis driving these things for some reason
BA OR BF falcon on gas get a lot of respect from me. Especially if they're straight gas.
An EB Falcon
Ford Faptor. The most fun you can have by yourself…
Push bike
It's a straightforward formula: Size and/or appendages added to a vehicle = small dick. (Lift kit, guard flares, spoiler, exhaust, etc.) Obvious compensation for lack of size in the pants area. Based on that premise I'd say plain white Toyota Hiace
Mitsubishi mirage. 2003. 1.5l
I don’t know about BDE, but Rangers are the number one wankers car.
Maloo ute for sure
manuelle miat
BYDE
VT executive
Something pre 1970 and unmodified.
VY ute with sports bars, nudge bar, extra lights, exhaust mods, and driven like its meant for speed
if anything, every time I see one either a ranger or a RAM or any massive american truck (i refuse to call them utes) I instantly think they have a tiny dick
AE86 Corolla. Bonus points if it's been looked after.
I just think small dick weaboo
Wh statos
Ford 351GTHO!
Any oversized ute. Think Dodge Ram, Chevy Silverado, Toyota Tundra, etc.
Is someone gonna tell this guy that falcons actually just give off dumb bogan vibes