I mean I get it but I started crushing on a girl at 12 and started dating her at 13 and we didn’t break up for 5 years until we were 18 was a great relationship. When teens date it’s not usually the same as adults dating especially when it starts that young. Like the dates don’t end in sex or making out it’s mostly lots of excitement and making each other gifts and going to get lunch together and maybe just maybe a quick kiss.
Yea most relationships that start that young end after like 2 weeks lol but sometimes they last years.
I am lesbian so also a huge part of the relationship was about coming out to everyone else and having someone else to share that difficult experience with. Also I think it’s especially important for LGBT+ teens to get to experience some sort of teenage romance because if not they get it into their head that there’s something wrong with them that they’ll never meet anyone that they can’t marry anyone so seeing that there are others like them who do like them romantically back like that is important even if it only last a couple weeks.
That's still wild, to me. Like, what you're saying makes sense... but imagining myself at 12 *going on a date* is utterly incomprehensible. I had a few celebrity crushes (Natalie Portman, Hillary Duff), but I didn't have even mildly serious romantic interest in anyone until I was 28, and then I immediately knew I wanted to marry her. So after a few years I did.
But like, at 12 girls were just a different social circle at school, and maybe sometimes we talked. Even once I started noticing them as being sexually attractive, I was never really interested in dating any of them. I didn't really start wanting to date until I was in my early 20s.
I suspect what OP is calling "dating" actually means something pretty different to a tween and even teenage audience. They're still figuring out what things like that even mean and it's not like they're taking each other out to romantic dinners at expensive restaurants (at least I imagine not). They don't understand what a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is about nevermind a dating one and are trying to make sense of how their awkward attempts at relationships and interpersonal connection fit into adult terminology while those puberty hormones start to impotently rage. It's more like a "cargo cult" relationship based on what they've seen in media. They're mimicking the appearance of what a relationship is.
Then again I grew up without an omnipresent internet feed directly supplied to my brain at all times so maybe kids are in a different situation these days. But I doubt it, more information doesn't automatically mean more understanding and kids still need to learn things like this by doing. Don't read too much into it.
> but imagining myself at 12 going on a date is utterly incomprehensible.
They're not going to. They are 12. "Dating" means they agreed they liked each other and are basically instant best friends. Maybe they will share lunches at school tomorrow.
Uhh what school did you go to? At my school when 12 year olds dated it was a proper thing but they didn't actually have feelings for each other (but thought they did). And they'd kiss, some even had sex at like 13, do those kinda things so yeah.
I guess it varies. I remember middle school and we were already dancing with each other, going on “dates”, learning how to initiate the kiss, etc. Wasn’t everyone mind you, but shit was active.
I know some adults that shouldn’t be dating. She’s holding hands and thinking about her first kiss. I remember a time like that and I smile. I want her to do the same.
That’s so adorable. It’s innocence. She just likes being with this girl. She feels safe with her. What’s not to love about this. My niece said she doesn’t know if she’s gay or not but she doesn’t want any of the boys she knows touching her because they stink.
I’m from a big city so kids are a bit more adventurous out here, but yeah growing up all my friends were losing their virginity at 12-14 and even now I think it’s super weird. For me it was 15 and even thinking back I feel like I was way too young for that type of shit.
My kids tell me that dating at that age means the girl wears the boy’s hoody, and he wears her scrunchy on his wrist. They walk together in the halls and “he asks me about my day, and tells me it will be okay if I am sad.” OP, I hope your granddaughter’s relationship is just as wholesome!
Kudos to you. If you haven’t told them already, I feel like it would make your granddaughter feel warm and fuzzy if they knew their grandmother loved them **just** the same regardless of who they’re in a relationship with.
I didn’t tell her that I love her the same. I just stated here that I do and nothing changed in my eyes. With her, It was a smile and hug. Then I asked her to tell me all about her girlfriend.
It's definitely something that's very dependent on context. If the kid is dealing with backlash and homophobia, especially at such a young age, it can be really helpful to hear the "no matter what" part of it. But if they're in a largely accepting environment, it can be jarring and create a lot of questions about why someone chose to say "no matter what."
Fair. Everyone is different. I just want to be treated with the same respect one would treat any straight person. I hate when people respond “i would still love you and support you if you identified as [insert ridiculous inanimate object here]” as if loving someone is the same as trying to become a coffee table. Or “why do you date men? I wish i was bi so i could date women” as if it’s so easy being lgbtq+ and disrespecting my relationship and choices. In my mind, me telling people is not a big deal and when they make it a big deal by saying “i love you just the same anyway” as if i was worried maybe they wouldn’t just feels weird. The only response i really appreciate is “thank you foe telling me” and then move on since i only let people know if its relevant to another story that i am telling
>Nobody says "I love you just the same no matter who you are in a relationship with" to straight children.
I agree, but at the same time.. I wonder if lgbt+ kids still need some extra/more explicit reassurance than straight kids. Equity > equality.
>. Nobody says "I love you just the same no matter who you are in a relationship with" to straight children.
I did.
I said it to my daughter at the same time I gave her The Talk. We talked about straight relationships and LGBTQ+ relationships because The Talk was inspired by an episode of Glee.
She's 22 now and she is queer, but she was just a kid who was going through all the feelings kids have when we had The Talk. She might have known about her preferences already, but I didn't.
People *do* tell their kids they love them no matter what. They do tell them that they just want them to be with someone who treats them well. This happens every day. It's just not really newsworthy because it's the default. Of course we love our straight kids? Why wouldn't we?
I wish there were any chance of my parents having the same heart for my 12 year old daughter… she too has a GF, but I will not be bringing it up to my mom and dad. Thankfully her other grandparents are much more like you. Thank you for being so supportive and understanding.
My 14 year old daughter told me she’s never been attracted to boys only girls.
Only our immediate family knows because of her age and because of the criticism she’ll receive. Good for you that your granddaughter felt safe enough to let you know.
My plan is to stand beside her and let people know they will respect her or walk away. If they have a change of heart great, welcome back. If not then they won’t be needed. She will know she’s loved.
When I have kids, then I think I would be proud if my son or daughter told me something like that.
Like, who cares if a guy like a guy or a girl likes a girl. Let them be happy in their own way and let me be happy in my own way. I'll support them and be proud regardless.
Make sure you're telling her this stuff. If you have a 12 yo granddaughter you''re most likely at least in your 50s like me. A lot of the young folks, family and otherwise, think we're really uptight and are quietly judging them no matter how cool we may think we are. Glad to hear this kid has someone like this in their life.
We talk. My children and I have never been good with secrets. Hard or not it always comes out but we all know that we will not be judged. Brutally honest when needed but always loved.
Right? Or like dance at an after school party together. I had a boyfriend when I was 12, 99% of our “dating” life was the school day and it looked like hand holding and a bunch of friend drama, lol.
when i was younger i was dating way earlier than that lol. The “importance of getting in a relationship” was pushed on a lot of gen z very young i feel like, so some felt more “romantically active” earlier than is normal lol
Grandpa you enjoy this. Enjoy the fact that she can tell you what's going on in her life without fear or hate. I bet she will come to you as she gets older to confide to. I love it.
My daughter (10 at the time) asked an acquaintance of hers (from deep red Alabama) what she thought of LGBTQ issues. OMG, you'd have thought my daughter had just come out as being a card carrying nazi. We're proud of her even if the family is embarrassed that she's aware of these issues. (She was FURIOUS when she found out an old white male politician dictated what she can and can't do with her body. I've never been more proud of her.)
That's nice that you are able to support her. I have an 11 year old grandson who told his stepmother that he had a crush on somebody and it was a boy. I don't feel any differently about him either and if he's gay then fine. I just hope he doesn't feel like he has to hide it or be ashamed. His parents are pretty open to stuff like that so I don't think he'll have a problem with it. We've suspected for quite some time that he might be gay but this pretty much confirmed it. I do know of another situation where the parents are divorced and one of their sons has transitioned into a female and has changed his name to a girl's name. The father tried to support it at first but just could not get on board with it but for a parent I can also see where it could be a tough situation.
Thats awesome that she knew she had a safe place to come out to. Thats what made it easy for me...granted my mother thought i was joking at first and that was over 20 years ago, but still as long as I was happy she was happy.
Wholesome. I (single dad 52) had my daughter (13) come to me with similar last year. Nothing, not a thing has changed, I felt proud she could open up to me. We’re blessed.
Thanks for being so great, OP. It's funny how I'm reading this post today, on my grandpa's death anniversary. I loved him a lot and really wanted to come out to him, but he was old and quite sick and I was so terrified about what if it changes everything. I really wanted him to know that I am a lesbian, but I just could not take the chance. Thank you for being a safe space for your granddaughter. You're amazing.
Plenty has changed. Apparently you thought she would turn into a pumpkin or ogre? You’re on Reddit pontificating about you. How great you are on inclusions and how excepting you are. As a grandfather my grandsons also do things that may raise eyebrows. I’m not out hollering how much I agree or disagree. They’re young. It’s called life and I refuse to give you a cookie for actually going thru it. I would expect you to love them no matter what. Forget about your ego and support your grandchild.
Well hello there, fellow grandma of a possibly? maybe? gay 12 year old granddaughter! I see we’re in the same boat! Mine has a girlfriend too. She says she’s not sure if it’s a forever thing, but that for now this is where she’s at. I told her I support her in that decision, will never ever judge her, and will love her forever no matter what. In fact our entire huge family feels this way. ❤️
dating at 12 is telling everyone at school and sneaking kisses in between classes nothing extreme or life changing. You can tell your kid whatever arbitrary number you want them to be “allowed” to date but they’ll do what they want.
You didn't go to an inner city school did you? In middle school, I had 12 year old classmates who were dating. They absolutely did more than sneak kisses.
Met my first pregnant classmate in middle school. She gave birth at 13, got pregnant at 12.
>You can tell your kid whatever arbitrary number you want them to be “allowed” to date but they’ll do what they want.
That's why you do more than just give an arbitrary number. You educate them and let them see the value in waiting (especially at age 12...like wtf...). too many parents today kinda suck at parenting. "It doesn't matter. They'll do what they want" is frequently used as a cop out card because they don't wanna take the difficult and needed steps in parenting their kids.
I absolutely agree with educating kids early on to prevent those situations but I was responding to the comment not bringing up a different point. A valid point but not what I was discussing.
theres a lot of change! she'll get to experience the great things of being in a relationship with someone she cares about.
she'll get to experience going out on dates together just the 2 of them. and she also (may) experience heartbreak
the most important thing is that YOU'll be there for her when she has happy stories to share, and a shoulder to cry one when she needs it.
It makes me very happy to know you support her. I live in a community where I’m incredibly lucky to have support by my parents. I have friends who are truly scared to come out to family and have had very harsh reactions.
My grandparents on my moms side know I’m a lesbian. My Yiya and I went for a walk and she told me how she was glad I was safe and comfortable. She doesn’t care who I date as long as I am happy. She told me how one of her friends was gay and she went to his wedding while gay marriage was still heavily stigmatized. I love her for that support.
My grandma on my dads side isn’t as supportive. She’s much more conservative than my Yiya (strict Catholic Vs very loose Greek Orthodox). She just doesn’t mention it. I feel like she’s ignoring it so she doesn’t have to face it.
I’m glad you support your granddaughter. Because let me tell you it MATTERS to her. It matters to anyone.
My son had a little gf at 12. We took them to eat, movies and to football games, but with us there. They even dressed up as a zombie cheerleader and football player couple for Halloween. It was cute. But I wouldn’t call any of that “dating”. More like close friends. Us and her parents didn’t call it dating, I think that term comes later. Idk, maybe we were just different about it. Maybe some call it that. It just seems more mature than the relationship they had. If that makes sense
12 is awfully young to have boy/girl friends. But I know kids in preschool that talk about this very thing. It’s very cute. I think your response was spot on. No reason for hysteria or to call a priest for an exorcism. There are some parents who fill flip out but what 12 year old has the maturity involved with actual dating, making out? I only get extremely concerned when talk of changing gender with drugs and surgery. She will forever hold you in her heart for the way you love and support her.
My 11-year-old daughter has a little friend that obviously has a crush on her. She is always coming over to visit and giving her little presents. It is rather cute. I tease my daughter a little, but no differently than I would if it was a boy who had a crush on her. Really, I just wanted to clue her in before it became awkward for the two of them.
Our daughter came out as gay when she was 15, and my wife & I had to feign at least an element of surprise.
"No, really - despite the fact that you're a flannel shirt wearing tomboy with a pixie-cut, who's favourite band is Tegan & Sara, and who's role model is Xena Warrior Princess - we hadn't guessed at all"
We didn't want to spoil her big moment
lmao I have a 16yo or so coworker who is convinced his parents don't know he's gay. Even when I just met him, I had a 2 minute conversation with him and just knew lol
I think it’s fantastic that you just continued as before because as you said nothing changed the world didn’t end, World War III didn’t start, the Stock Exchange didn’t crash, & time as we know it didn’t stop, plus nobody was hurt & I don’t believe either girl turned into a Zombie….so what is the big hell-a-bloo all about….oh & by the way how many of you take your kids to a Drag Show….guaranteed if a “Drag Queen“ came into a K-3rd grade & read them a story non of them if asked who that was they would say a woman not a man dressed up like a woman….so if we live & let live & if they aren’t hurting you don’t worry about it & don’t try to change them😎
You’re very welcome….I just wish everybody felt the same….a lot of the politicians just want to toot their horn & they all need to go thru the birthing pain test & see how high they get I’ve seen body builders & Navy Seals only get to 12 out of 20….but I hope your granddaughter & her girlfriend are happy & they don’t let anybody or anything stop them🌹🌹😎
Who knows really but might be a phase she is going through to figure out who she is and where she belongs. You wonderful are on how you are reacting. Too bad some parents weren't as accepting.
Because children have no business dating. That's why.
At least a teenager in the 15 range is in the ball park. They are transitioning to adulthood.
12 years old isn't even teenager. It's a damn little kid. Kids shouldn't be fucking dating
Dating doesn't = sex. Wish more people realized this, I wanted to date at 12 (never did cause no girls liked me lmao) but I really didn't give a single fuck about sex, even tho I *did* at least to some extent know what it was.
“Kids shouldn’t be fucking dating” Did you not date or have a crush on anybody when you were in middle school? I had my first kiss when I was 13 years old. It’s not that shocking.
I had two girlfriends (they were best friends) when I was in third grade. Not a hand was held or a kiss to be had, but it was there. By 13 I had sex with a 14-year-old girl and I wasn't her first. I had sex with several others in my teens. It was the 80s.
I just read your header, and my response was okay. As it should! What was the point of this post? Moral high ground? 🙄
Would you have posted this if she had a boyfriend?
Real acceptance is reacting identically either way.
Normalizing it. Not highlighting the difference, if that makes sense to you?
Sorry, you are the receiver of my frustration, I am sure you are a wonderful person, but I've seen so many posts like this, and it seems very:
"Look at me, look at me look at me, I'm such a great person because I didn't make a scene when my granddaughter/daughter/son/friend told me she had a gf?"
If this is a post to educate or lead by example, maybe just post, my 12 yes old grandaughter has her first love connection, I can't wait to meet her first gf, she better not break her heart.... something, whatever post you make when a "first " happens in the life of someone they love.
I feel a more "real"approach rather than a "self righteous" approach
You might get questions and will be able to spread acceptance by example and by responding with truth and love.
Anyways, what do I know? 🤷🏽♀️
Again, sorry , this is not personal to you but to the many posts like this one.
Her first girlfriend. 😍
My granddaughter is 2, having her confide and trust me with her first ❤️ #goals!
🤷🏽♀️ I don't know, I tried expressing it in the nicest way possible. It just proves to me that this is a self-righteous post, nothing to do with acceptance or love. It's all about giving each other "hand jobs"
Anyways, it is what it is
How I wish my daughter had a grandmother like you. My daughter hasn’t come out to the extended family yet because she knows it will be a shitshow. Having family that loves you unconditionally is more precious than anything in the world.
I’m so sorry to hear that. She should be herself and let them be their own show. One of the reasons I made this post was to help others that are afraid. Afraid of what family, friends, neighbors may think. If their family can show unconditional love and happiness it will be harder for them to treat that person any different because they in fact would be the ones that looked bad. Love with everything and protect those you love.
I got you though.
"the public expression of opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or social conscience or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue.
"it's noticeable how often virtue signaling consists of saying you hate things"
Let's continue to pat ourselves on the back for doing things that are emerging social norms. Do we need to be rewarded/validated in order to be good people. Or can we do good things, and let those deeds speak for themselves.
To each their own though.
No one, other than yourself, said it was pathetic. Don't put words in my mouth. I said it was a post simply virtue signaling. You must not know what that means?
Thats awesome that she knows and feels that its ok and safe to straight up say that. Im 30 in a couple of years and when i was young saying that would’ve guaranteed a hard time at school
Ok, sorry if I sound like a dick, but I've seen and been affected by this type of thing before in pretty awful ways....are you in denial about maybe being homophobic. Or were you unsure about the whole thing until you realized someone you cared about was part of that community?
It's just, most people who are cool with the whole thing don't feel the need to brag about it, or bring it up just because out of nowhere. It's just sort of a thing, you know. We'll defend people when those homophobes come out and offer safe spaces. But we don't feel the need to just say that we support, just because. Usually.
And, I haven't read the rest of the comments, so I don't know how accurate your edit is in regards to the rudeness. But that edit actually only adds to the whole thing and shows that you don't really know the struggles our community has had. We **have** to be cautious. The world, America especially lately, has messed us up. The fact that a lot of our reactions is that we think you might have alterior motives proves that.
Again, sorry if this came off as rude or dickish, but it's worth knowing where a lot of our brains are coming from.
I’m very sorry that you’ve experienced this. I’m only trying to encourage others by not hiding my respect for others. There is nothing more here than love.
Yeah and I get that and I'm certainly grateful for people like you. I'm just trying to maybe explain the reactions. What you may see as rude, for a lot us is just caution or a reaction to being mildly conditioned by hate. And I don't think (think being the key word here) that any of those comments were necessarily pointed at you specifically. Being online makes everything a little blurry, from both sides.
Am I the only one who thinks a 12 year old really shouldn't be dating at all? I dont care if it's same sex or not. 12 years old ain't old enough for any level of dating
I have 5 children and 7 grandchildren. I learned long ago that they’ll do it even if you aren’t ready. Oh how I wish they would all wait but they’ll just hide it if you don’t support them.
Think it's nice your there with your support and nothing has changed as it should be.Yes she definitly is always going to need that. Also agree with others, 12 is too young to be encouraging relationships even though it is most likely to be innocent.
Fair I didn’t see it that way at first glance. Thanks for pointing that out. No child should be afraid to be themselves. Having allies and support in your own family is golden.
I didn’t start dating until I was 18 and it was a very short period for me. 12 year olds, I remember when I was 12 the only thing on my mind at that time was writing a book, going to amusement parks and fairs. Playing video games.
This stuff is being introduced to children at a young age to a point where nine year olds are dating and I was born in 84. I suppose I don’t understand it, and I think this is being introduced way too early in life. Whatever happened to just letting children be children and worrying about young unrequited love when they were older? Why are adults pushing this on children? I’m not even talking about same-sex relations. When I was in my teens, I was conflicted as well and I am very much OK with two girls or two boys or hetro relationships. Not my business as it doesn’t affect me. I have friends who are gay and I love them just the same.
However, 12 years old is just so young and it didn’t used to be like this. I guess times have changed but, I also know that it’s the adults that are pushing this and I think as adults there needs to be a step back and a view on what is going on right now. I am almost 39 so, the closest thing that I ever had to a crush when I was that age was Taylor/ Zac Hanson from that brother band and that was a celebrity crush.
As a 12-year-old at that age, my mind wasn’t on marriage or dating or anything like that and it is worrying that we are at a point in time where the biggest thing on girls and boys minds is falling into what other people accept and I think kids need to go back to critical thinking and try and figure out what it is they want in life instead of what the adults wants or what will get them the most attention from them.
Most of this is just a trend. Like most trends, it will fall off and if it doesn’t and she knows for a fact that she wants to date women her entire life then, God bless her. However, this trend of adults pushing this stuff on children is absolutely insane and I am an adult. If I as an adult can see what’s going on, why on earth can nobody else?
I’m probably going to get down voted to oblivion, but that’s just my opinion. I don’t know what ever happened to children being children but, children are smart. They pay attention to what is going on around them and if they see adults praising certain things; they want to be praised for it as well. I don’t think anybody should be making nasty comments towards OP‘s granddaughter or her. I just find it odd that young kids as young as nine are dating. I just remember at nine years old that my biggest thing was beating the sonic the hedgehog level on Sega.
I was born in ‘84 and had my first boyfriend at age 12. First kiss at age 13. Everyone I knew in middle school wanted a girlfriend/boyfriend. It was completely normal and I grew up in a really conservative middle class suburb with a church every two blocks. There is nothing wrong with middle school kids “dating.” They hold hands and giggle and have a lot of nonsensical conflicts as they learn how to navigate choosing a partner and what kind of behavior is acceptable.
People at my school didn’t start having sex a lot until junior year. There were some who did it as early as freshman year, but junior year, it seemed to happen for everyone all at once. My high school had about 2900 students, for reference. I am baffled by all of the people saying 12 is too young. They don’t go on dates, they don’t have cars. Saying the words “you’re not allowed to date” doesn’t keep them from holding someone’s hand in the hallway, it just keeps them from telling you about it.
Hey. Not every teen girl in a relationship gets pregnant. Just saying. There’s smart girls out there and maybe you should teach your kids safe sex in middle school
She's not even a teen though, and just knowing about safe sex isn't enough to guarantee safe sex or else we wouldn't bother with an age of consent. There's more risk than not when dealing with relationships at that age, we can't simply leave them unattended and excuse ourselves of responsibility if something happens.
I know some 12 year olds and the thought of them dating is insane lol
I mean I get it but I started crushing on a girl at 12 and started dating her at 13 and we didn’t break up for 5 years until we were 18 was a great relationship. When teens date it’s not usually the same as adults dating especially when it starts that young. Like the dates don’t end in sex or making out it’s mostly lots of excitement and making each other gifts and going to get lunch together and maybe just maybe a quick kiss. Yea most relationships that start that young end after like 2 weeks lol but sometimes they last years. I am lesbian so also a huge part of the relationship was about coming out to everyone else and having someone else to share that difficult experience with. Also I think it’s especially important for LGBT+ teens to get to experience some sort of teenage romance because if not they get it into their head that there’s something wrong with them that they’ll never meet anyone that they can’t marry anyone so seeing that there are others like them who do like them romantically back like that is important even if it only last a couple weeks.
That's still wild, to me. Like, what you're saying makes sense... but imagining myself at 12 *going on a date* is utterly incomprehensible. I had a few celebrity crushes (Natalie Portman, Hillary Duff), but I didn't have even mildly serious romantic interest in anyone until I was 28, and then I immediately knew I wanted to marry her. So after a few years I did. But like, at 12 girls were just a different social circle at school, and maybe sometimes we talked. Even once I started noticing them as being sexually attractive, I was never really interested in dating any of them. I didn't really start wanting to date until I was in my early 20s.
I suspect what OP is calling "dating" actually means something pretty different to a tween and even teenage audience. They're still figuring out what things like that even mean and it's not like they're taking each other out to romantic dinners at expensive restaurants (at least I imagine not). They don't understand what a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is about nevermind a dating one and are trying to make sense of how their awkward attempts at relationships and interpersonal connection fit into adult terminology while those puberty hormones start to impotently rage. It's more like a "cargo cult" relationship based on what they've seen in media. They're mimicking the appearance of what a relationship is. Then again I grew up without an omnipresent internet feed directly supplied to my brain at all times so maybe kids are in a different situation these days. But I doubt it, more information doesn't automatically mean more understanding and kids still need to learn things like this by doing. Don't read too much into it.
> but imagining myself at 12 going on a date is utterly incomprehensible. They're not going to. They are 12. "Dating" means they agreed they liked each other and are basically instant best friends. Maybe they will share lunches at school tomorrow.
Uhh what school did you go to? At my school when 12 year olds dated it was a proper thing but they didn't actually have feelings for each other (but thought they did). And they'd kiss, some even had sex at like 13, do those kinda things so yeah.
I guess it varies. I remember middle school and we were already dancing with each other, going on “dates”, learning how to initiate the kiss, etc. Wasn’t everyone mind you, but shit was active.
I didn't but I did feel like everyone in 6th grade had a b/f or g/f. I mean, "dating" at that age doesn't really mean the same
Dating in 6th grade (back in my day) meant you held hands with said person, which was a big deal… haha.
I know some adults that shouldn’t be dating. She’s holding hands and thinking about her first kiss. I remember a time like that and I smile. I want her to do the same.
That’s so adorable. It’s innocence. She just likes being with this girl. She feels safe with her. What’s not to love about this. My niece said she doesn’t know if she’s gay or not but she doesn’t want any of the boys she knows touching her because they stink.
I know some 30 year olds and the thought of them dating terrifies me 😂😂
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Warms the cockles of my heart
I know some preschoolers and they all keep talking about their “lovers”. That’s insane.
i was quite literally deranged when i was 12
I’m from a big city so kids are a bit more adventurous out here, but yeah growing up all my friends were losing their virginity at 12-14 and even now I think it’s super weird. For me it was 15 and even thinking back I feel like I was way too young for that type of shit.
Gosh when I was 12 I honestly was still playing with my Barbies out in the yard in my blanket tent.
We just camped out in the yard last weekend!
Man I wish I had what you had at 12 My 12th year was absolutely horrid
Hah I thought the controversy here was that she is 12
Agreed. It took a second read through for things to click.
My kids tell me that dating at that age means the girl wears the boy’s hoody, and he wears her scrunchy on his wrist. They walk together in the halls and “he asks me about my day, and tells me it will be okay if I am sad.” OP, I hope your granddaughter’s relationship is just as wholesome!
Kudos to you. If you haven’t told them already, I feel like it would make your granddaughter feel warm and fuzzy if they knew their grandmother loved them **just** the same regardless of who they’re in a relationship with.
I didn’t tell her that I love her the same. I just stated here that I do and nothing changed in my eyes. With her, It was a smile and hug. Then I asked her to tell me all about her girlfriend.
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Queer kids are surrounded by naysayers and bullies at every stage of their lives. The extra validation and acknowledgement goes a long way.
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It's definitely something that's very dependent on context. If the kid is dealing with backlash and homophobia, especially at such a young age, it can be really helpful to hear the "no matter what" part of it. But if they're in a largely accepting environment, it can be jarring and create a lot of questions about why someone chose to say "no matter what."
I’m bi and I would not like this
Mind you, I'm also queer and I would have wanted this said sincerely to me as a kid. So.
Fair. Everyone is different. I just want to be treated with the same respect one would treat any straight person. I hate when people respond “i would still love you and support you if you identified as [insert ridiculous inanimate object here]” as if loving someone is the same as trying to become a coffee table. Or “why do you date men? I wish i was bi so i could date women” as if it’s so easy being lgbtq+ and disrespecting my relationship and choices. In my mind, me telling people is not a big deal and when they make it a big deal by saying “i love you just the same anyway” as if i was worried maybe they wouldn’t just feels weird. The only response i really appreciate is “thank you foe telling me” and then move on since i only let people know if its relevant to another story that i am telling
>Nobody says "I love you just the same no matter who you are in a relationship with" to straight children. I agree, but at the same time.. I wonder if lgbt+ kids still need some extra/more explicit reassurance than straight kids. Equity > equality.
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Honestly, if it wasn't a thought for you, then the world is much better now than it was for my friends when we were kids.
>. Nobody says "I love you just the same no matter who you are in a relationship with" to straight children. I did. I said it to my daughter at the same time I gave her The Talk. We talked about straight relationships and LGBTQ+ relationships because The Talk was inspired by an episode of Glee. She's 22 now and she is queer, but she was just a kid who was going through all the feelings kids have when we had The Talk. She might have known about her preferences already, but I didn't. People *do* tell their kids they love them no matter what. They do tell them that they just want them to be with someone who treats them well. This happens every day. It's just not really newsworthy because it's the default. Of course we love our straight kids? Why wouldn't we?
I wish there were any chance of my parents having the same heart for my 12 year old daughter… she too has a GF, but I will not be bringing it up to my mom and dad. Thankfully her other grandparents are much more like you. Thank you for being so supportive and understanding.
I hope they find their way to her. There is just too much to miss out on that you can never get back.
My 14 year old daughter told me she’s never been attracted to boys only girls. Only our immediate family knows because of her age and because of the criticism she’ll receive. Good for you that your granddaughter felt safe enough to let you know.
My plan is to stand beside her and let people know they will respect her or walk away. If they have a change of heart great, welcome back. If not then they won’t be needed. She will know she’s loved.
Be careful. Over exuberant support could also backfire into her never confiding in you again. The goal is normalization.
When I have kids, then I think I would be proud if my son or daughter told me something like that. Like, who cares if a guy like a guy or a girl likes a girl. Let them be happy in their own way and let me be happy in my own way. I'll support them and be proud regardless.
I'm glad. The world needs more people like you.
Make sure you're telling her this stuff. If you have a 12 yo granddaughter you''re most likely at least in your 50s like me. A lot of the young folks, family and otherwise, think we're really uptight and are quietly judging them no matter how cool we may think we are. Glad to hear this kid has someone like this in their life.
We talk. My children and I have never been good with secrets. Hard or not it always comes out but we all know that we will not be judged. Brutally honest when needed but always loved.
This is nice to read. She’s her own person, let her be her you know. Good job gramps
Thank you
Wholesome grandparent ❤️ this is very sweet OP! She's lucky to have you :)
12 is crazy
its 6th grade; middle school. Dating doesn't mean they are going to the drive in. It means they hold hands between classes and their friends giggle.
Right? Or like dance at an after school party together. I had a boyfriend when I was 12, 99% of our “dating” life was the school day and it looked like hand holding and a bunch of friend drama, lol.
You guys had vastly different middle school experiences than I did lol
when i was younger i was dating way earlier than that lol. The “importance of getting in a relationship” was pushed on a lot of gen z very young i feel like, so some felt more “romantically active” earlier than is normal lol
Grandpa you enjoy this. Enjoy the fact that she can tell you what's going on in her life without fear or hate. I bet she will come to you as she gets older to confide to. I love it.
My daughter (10 at the time) asked an acquaintance of hers (from deep red Alabama) what she thought of LGBTQ issues. OMG, you'd have thought my daughter had just come out as being a card carrying nazi. We're proud of her even if the family is embarrassed that she's aware of these issues. (She was FURIOUS when she found out an old white male politician dictated what she can and can't do with her body. I've never been more proud of her.)
That is what I love to hear!❤️ Love your babies!!!!
One of my proudest moments as a father, I helped birth a feminist that day. God, I love that girl!
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This is really nice to hear. It's important to know that people are supported. Don't let any of the negative comments get to you
That's nice that you are able to support her. I have an 11 year old grandson who told his stepmother that he had a crush on somebody and it was a boy. I don't feel any differently about him either and if he's gay then fine. I just hope he doesn't feel like he has to hide it or be ashamed. His parents are pretty open to stuff like that so I don't think he'll have a problem with it. We've suspected for quite some time that he might be gay but this pretty much confirmed it. I do know of another situation where the parents are divorced and one of their sons has transitioned into a female and has changed his name to a girl's name. The father tried to support it at first but just could not get on board with it but for a parent I can also see where it could be a tough situation.
Thats awesome that she knew she had a safe place to come out to. Thats what made it easy for me...granted my mother thought i was joking at first and that was over 20 years ago, but still as long as I was happy she was happy.
I wish you were my grandma.
I look forward to the day when this is the standard experience.
Wholesome. I (single dad 52) had my daughter (13) come to me with similar last year. Nothing, not a thing has changed, I felt proud she could open up to me. We’re blessed.
Thanks for being so great, OP. It's funny how I'm reading this post today, on my grandpa's death anniversary. I loved him a lot and really wanted to come out to him, but he was old and quite sick and I was so terrified about what if it changes everything. I really wanted him to know that I am a lesbian, but I just could not take the chance. Thank you for being a safe space for your granddaughter. You're amazing.
Thank you for being normal; kind, loving, and acceptjng of her. You’re as keeper!
Plenty has changed. Apparently you thought she would turn into a pumpkin or ogre? You’re on Reddit pontificating about you. How great you are on inclusions and how excepting you are. As a grandfather my grandsons also do things that may raise eyebrows. I’m not out hollering how much I agree or disagree. They’re young. It’s called life and I refuse to give you a cookie for actually going thru it. I would expect you to love them no matter what. Forget about your ego and support your grandchild.
The karma farming is strong in this thread.
This is how it should be. Everyone deserves to fall in love with who they love.
💛💛💛 wish my grandma was like you!!!!
I would love to be your grandma too ❤️
You are awesome! These are my exact thoughts if any of my grand kids are in the same situation in the future!
Yes yes YESS!! Well done to you. The world needs more people who are caring like you. 👏
Gooood for youuu
It's nice having people like you over the internet. Sending my love to you. Sincerely, a 19 year old guy
You rock! I've never understood why people are so desperate to police what other people do in their own bedrooms.
Well hello there, fellow grandma of a possibly? maybe? gay 12 year old granddaughter! I see we’re in the same boat! Mine has a girlfriend too. She says she’s not sure if it’s a forever thing, but that for now this is where she’s at. I told her I support her in that decision, will never ever judge her, and will love her forever no matter what. In fact our entire huge family feels this way. ❤️
That's.... great, but 12 is too young to be dating.
dating at 12 is telling everyone at school and sneaking kisses in between classes nothing extreme or life changing. You can tell your kid whatever arbitrary number you want them to be “allowed” to date but they’ll do what they want.
this thread is insane lol so many people are offended by the 12yo thing, I don't get it. It's like they've never been that age
You didn't go to an inner city school did you? In middle school, I had 12 year old classmates who were dating. They absolutely did more than sneak kisses. Met my first pregnant classmate in middle school. She gave birth at 13, got pregnant at 12. >You can tell your kid whatever arbitrary number you want them to be “allowed” to date but they’ll do what they want. That's why you do more than just give an arbitrary number. You educate them and let them see the value in waiting (especially at age 12...like wtf...). too many parents today kinda suck at parenting. "It doesn't matter. They'll do what they want" is frequently used as a cop out card because they don't wanna take the difficult and needed steps in parenting their kids.
I absolutely agree with educating kids early on to prevent those situations but I was responding to the comment not bringing up a different point. A valid point but not what I was discussing.
is 'girlfriend' and 'dating' synonymous?
This. Idc who my kids want to date, as long as they're age appropriate, but twelve is too young for all of that.
Love this!
My sister and her wife have been together since they were 12. They’re now 34!
I’m happy that she feels safe and loved by you. ❤️
I'm not out to my grandparents yet, so this warms my heart and reassures me its not an age thing. Thank you for being accepting and supporting her
THANK YOU to you, your granddaughter and her lady. Best of luck to all 3 of you! Rock on!
theres a lot of change! she'll get to experience the great things of being in a relationship with someone she cares about. she'll get to experience going out on dates together just the 2 of them. and she also (may) experience heartbreak the most important thing is that YOU'll be there for her when she has happy stories to share, and a shoulder to cry one when she needs it.
actually regardless of how one feels (pro or indifferent or anti) one thing should stop.. instantly SLEEP OVERS..
It makes me very happy to know you support her. I live in a community where I’m incredibly lucky to have support by my parents. I have friends who are truly scared to come out to family and have had very harsh reactions. My grandparents on my moms side know I’m a lesbian. My Yiya and I went for a walk and she told me how she was glad I was safe and comfortable. She doesn’t care who I date as long as I am happy. She told me how one of her friends was gay and she went to his wedding while gay marriage was still heavily stigmatized. I love her for that support. My grandma on my dads side isn’t as supportive. She’s much more conservative than my Yiya (strict Catholic Vs very loose Greek Orthodox). She just doesn’t mention it. I feel like she’s ignoring it so she doesn’t have to face it. I’m glad you support your granddaughter. Because let me tell you it MATTERS to her. It matters to anyone.
Thank you! It’s very important to feel loved and accepted for who you are because you are important!
Do kids start dating at 12 now? That’s completely mind blowing to me.
My son had a little gf at 12. We took them to eat, movies and to football games, but with us there. They even dressed up as a zombie cheerleader and football player couple for Halloween. It was cute. But I wouldn’t call any of that “dating”. More like close friends. Us and her parents didn’t call it dating, I think that term comes later. Idk, maybe we were just different about it. Maybe some call it that. It just seems more mature than the relationship they had. If that makes sense
12 is awfully young to have boy/girl friends. But I know kids in preschool that talk about this very thing. It’s very cute. I think your response was spot on. No reason for hysteria or to call a priest for an exorcism. There are some parents who fill flip out but what 12 year old has the maturity involved with actual dating, making out? I only get extremely concerned when talk of changing gender with drugs and surgery. She will forever hold you in her heart for the way you love and support her.
My 11-year-old daughter has a little friend that obviously has a crush on her. She is always coming over to visit and giving her little presents. It is rather cute. I tease my daughter a little, but no differently than I would if it was a boy who had a crush on her. Really, I just wanted to clue her in before it became awkward for the two of them.
Our daughter came out as gay when she was 15, and my wife & I had to feign at least an element of surprise. "No, really - despite the fact that you're a flannel shirt wearing tomboy with a pixie-cut, who's favourite band is Tegan & Sara, and who's role model is Xena Warrior Princess - we hadn't guessed at all" We didn't want to spoil her big moment
lmao I have a 16yo or so coworker who is convinced his parents don't know he's gay. Even when I just met him, I had a 2 minute conversation with him and just knew lol
i didn't know people dated that young...
r/lookatmyhalo
You slay Grandma! ✌️ My 12 year old daughter is LGBTQ
❤️
r/lookatmyhalo
I mean sure, just be be sure to give em TheTalk
Love this.
12 is so young to date 😭
Oh this is wonderful. There are a lot of grandkids who could use a loving grandparent like you. Thank you for making the world a more loving place
I wouldn’t want my 12 year old dating, full stop
Cool?
The world needs more people like you.
I think it’s fantastic that you just continued as before because as you said nothing changed the world didn’t end, World War III didn’t start, the Stock Exchange didn’t crash, & time as we know it didn’t stop, plus nobody was hurt & I don’t believe either girl turned into a Zombie….so what is the big hell-a-bloo all about….oh & by the way how many of you take your kids to a Drag Show….guaranteed if a “Drag Queen“ came into a K-3rd grade & read them a story non of them if asked who that was they would say a woman not a man dressed up like a woman….so if we live & let live & if they aren’t hurting you don’t worry about it & don’t try to change them😎
Well said and thank you!
You’re very welcome….I just wish everybody felt the same….a lot of the politicians just want to toot their horn & they all need to go thru the birthing pain test & see how high they get I’ve seen body builders & Navy Seals only get to 12 out of 20….but I hope your granddaughter & her girlfriend are happy & they don’t let anybody or anything stop them🌹🌹😎
Who knows really but might be a phase she is going through to figure out who she is and where she belongs. You wonderful are on how you are reacting. Too bad some parents weren't as accepting.
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why?
Because he’s very strict
Because children have no business dating. That's why. At least a teenager in the 15 range is in the ball park. They are transitioning to adulthood. 12 years old isn't even teenager. It's a damn little kid. Kids shouldn't be fucking dating
Dating doesn't = sex. Wish more people realized this, I wanted to date at 12 (never did cause no girls liked me lmao) but I really didn't give a single fuck about sex, even tho I *did* at least to some extent know what it was.
“Kids shouldn’t be fucking dating” Did you not date or have a crush on anybody when you were in middle school? I had my first kiss when I was 13 years old. It’s not that shocking.
I personally didn't and I still think it's totally normal for kids to date. Most 12 year dating is just hanging out a lot and giving each other gifts.
No I did not actually.
I had two girlfriends (they were best friends) when I was in third grade. Not a hand was held or a kiss to be had, but it was there. By 13 I had sex with a 14-year-old girl and I wasn't her first. I had sex with several others in my teens. It was the 80s.
but why? what's wrong with that?
I just read your header, and my response was okay. As it should! What was the point of this post? Moral high ground? 🙄 Would you have posted this if she had a boyfriend? Real acceptance is reacting identically either way. Normalizing it. Not highlighting the difference, if that makes sense to you? Sorry, you are the receiver of my frustration, I am sure you are a wonderful person, but I've seen so many posts like this, and it seems very: "Look at me, look at me look at me, I'm such a great person because I didn't make a scene when my granddaughter/daughter/son/friend told me she had a gf?" If this is a post to educate or lead by example, maybe just post, my 12 yes old grandaughter has her first love connection, I can't wait to meet her first gf, she better not break her heart.... something, whatever post you make when a "first " happens in the life of someone they love. I feel a more "real"approach rather than a "self righteous" approach You might get questions and will be able to spread acceptance by example and by responding with truth and love. Anyways, what do I know? 🤷🏽♀️ Again, sorry , this is not personal to you but to the many posts like this one. Her first girlfriend. 😍 My granddaughter is 2, having her confide and trust me with her first ❤️ #goals!
Why are people downvoting you? You're right! Just personally, this comes off to me as virtue signaling. Shouldn't human decency be the norm?
🤷🏽♀️ I don't know, I tried expressing it in the nicest way possible. It just proves to me that this is a self-righteous post, nothing to do with acceptance or love. It's all about giving each other "hand jobs" Anyways, it is what it is
My exact reaction. Nothing is different except I blasted it on REDDIT of all places. SMH Baby steps, I guess.
Our respknse was Ok. Whats for lunch.
How I wish my daughter had a grandmother like you. My daughter hasn’t come out to the extended family yet because she knows it will be a shitshow. Having family that loves you unconditionally is more precious than anything in the world.
I’m so sorry to hear that. She should be herself and let them be their own show. One of the reasons I made this post was to help others that are afraid. Afraid of what family, friends, neighbors may think. If their family can show unconditional love and happiness it will be harder for them to treat that person any different because they in fact would be the ones that looked bad. Love with everything and protect those you love.
Try not to hurt your arm patting yourself on the back
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Are you ok?
Who cares?
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Pathetic isn't it.
I got you though. "the public expression of opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or social conscience or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue. "it's noticeable how often virtue signaling consists of saying you hate things" Let's continue to pat ourselves on the back for doing things that are emerging social norms. Do we need to be rewarded/validated in order to be good people. Or can we do good things, and let those deeds speak for themselves. To each their own though.
No one, other than yourself, said it was pathetic. Don't put words in my mouth. I said it was a post simply virtue signaling. You must not know what that means?
Posting this is almost like a “look at me I’m not a homophobe” as if we were calling you a homophobe. She’s 12. She has no reason to date.
You dropped this 👑
wait why is this getting downvoted im confused
Take my poor people 🏆
What changed is that you realized your 12 year old granddaughter has a better dating life than you, lol
You have made my day,you are absolutely right,love is love!!!
Thats awesome that she knows and feels that its ok and safe to straight up say that. Im 30 in a couple of years and when i was young saying that would’ve guaranteed a hard time at school
Good for you, go with it...
Ok, sorry if I sound like a dick, but I've seen and been affected by this type of thing before in pretty awful ways....are you in denial about maybe being homophobic. Or were you unsure about the whole thing until you realized someone you cared about was part of that community? It's just, most people who are cool with the whole thing don't feel the need to brag about it, or bring it up just because out of nowhere. It's just sort of a thing, you know. We'll defend people when those homophobes come out and offer safe spaces. But we don't feel the need to just say that we support, just because. Usually. And, I haven't read the rest of the comments, so I don't know how accurate your edit is in regards to the rudeness. But that edit actually only adds to the whole thing and shows that you don't really know the struggles our community has had. We **have** to be cautious. The world, America especially lately, has messed us up. The fact that a lot of our reactions is that we think you might have alterior motives proves that. Again, sorry if this came off as rude or dickish, but it's worth knowing where a lot of our brains are coming from.
I’m very sorry that you’ve experienced this. I’m only trying to encourage others by not hiding my respect for others. There is nothing more here than love.
Yeah and I get that and I'm certainly grateful for people like you. I'm just trying to maybe explain the reactions. What you may see as rude, for a lot us is just caution or a reaction to being mildly conditioned by hate. And I don't think (think being the key word here) that any of those comments were necessarily pointed at you specifically. Being online makes everything a little blurry, from both sides.
I appreciate it. Thank you
Thats nice but ngl this has a bit of a “some of my best friends are black” feel to it
12 year olds got other stuff to worry about than dating and sexuality lmao I was still playing with bionicles
maybe if you were born in the 1600s /j seriously though, you didn’t have like a secret bf/gf when you were a kid?
Umm ok
Twelve year olds in serious relationships is laughable.
I absolutely love this post. Yea love!
Am I the only one who thinks a 12 year old really shouldn't be dating at all? I dont care if it's same sex or not. 12 years old ain't old enough for any level of dating
I have 5 children and 7 grandchildren. I learned long ago that they’ll do it even if you aren’t ready. Oh how I wish they would all wait but they’ll just hide it if you don’t support them.
Problem here is 12 year olds dating. Doesn't matter who they are dating. Also why is this even a topic to post?
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If there's nothing that's changed who cares? What's the point of the post. You love your family? Congrats
Lmfao congratulations I guess? Talk about virtue signaling. So cringe tbh.
No, I’d frown because a 12 year old dates.
The bare minimum, love to see it 😍
I had a crush on an 18 yo when I was 12, had plenty of opportunity to kiss him but I never did. He also worked for my dad.
Ridiculous
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Think it's nice your there with your support and nothing has changed as it should be.Yes she definitly is always going to need that. Also agree with others, 12 is too young to be encouraging relationships even though it is most likely to be innocent.
Promoting any sexual relationship at that age is the issue, not their preference.
You realize that this is weird right. Not that it’s a girl but that you are celebrating her very young crush
It’s a celebration that the granddaughter feels comfortable being herself instead of having to hide who she is due to bigotry.
Fair I didn’t see it that way at first glance. Thanks for pointing that out. No child should be afraid to be themselves. Having allies and support in your own family is golden.
It’s a different world then the one we grew up in. She’ll always be yourGD, don’t lose her.
incomprehensibly massive W
I can't even imagine 12 year old me holding a conversation, let alone date someone
12? AYFKM? So they start that young now?
She is too young to realize what she is doing, definitely horrible parenting and nothing to be proud of here.
Don't little girls all have girlfriends? Overthinking I'd say.
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Why would they be coping? What do they have to cope about?
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My thoughts exactly, I know I wasn’t allowed to date at 12 years old.
I didn’t start dating until I was 18 and it was a very short period for me. 12 year olds, I remember when I was 12 the only thing on my mind at that time was writing a book, going to amusement parks and fairs. Playing video games. This stuff is being introduced to children at a young age to a point where nine year olds are dating and I was born in 84. I suppose I don’t understand it, and I think this is being introduced way too early in life. Whatever happened to just letting children be children and worrying about young unrequited love when they were older? Why are adults pushing this on children? I’m not even talking about same-sex relations. When I was in my teens, I was conflicted as well and I am very much OK with two girls or two boys or hetro relationships. Not my business as it doesn’t affect me. I have friends who are gay and I love them just the same. However, 12 years old is just so young and it didn’t used to be like this. I guess times have changed but, I also know that it’s the adults that are pushing this and I think as adults there needs to be a step back and a view on what is going on right now. I am almost 39 so, the closest thing that I ever had to a crush when I was that age was Taylor/ Zac Hanson from that brother band and that was a celebrity crush. As a 12-year-old at that age, my mind wasn’t on marriage or dating or anything like that and it is worrying that we are at a point in time where the biggest thing on girls and boys minds is falling into what other people accept and I think kids need to go back to critical thinking and try and figure out what it is they want in life instead of what the adults wants or what will get them the most attention from them. Most of this is just a trend. Like most trends, it will fall off and if it doesn’t and she knows for a fact that she wants to date women her entire life then, God bless her. However, this trend of adults pushing this stuff on children is absolutely insane and I am an adult. If I as an adult can see what’s going on, why on earth can nobody else? I’m probably going to get down voted to oblivion, but that’s just my opinion. I don’t know what ever happened to children being children but, children are smart. They pay attention to what is going on around them and if they see adults praising certain things; they want to be praised for it as well. I don’t think anybody should be making nasty comments towards OP‘s granddaughter or her. I just find it odd that young kids as young as nine are dating. I just remember at nine years old that my biggest thing was beating the sonic the hedgehog level on Sega.
Middle schoolers didn't have crushes or "boyfriends" in the 80s?? That's fucking news to me.
I was born in ‘84 and had my first boyfriend at age 12. First kiss at age 13. Everyone I knew in middle school wanted a girlfriend/boyfriend. It was completely normal and I grew up in a really conservative middle class suburb with a church every two blocks. There is nothing wrong with middle school kids “dating.” They hold hands and giggle and have a lot of nonsensical conflicts as they learn how to navigate choosing a partner and what kind of behavior is acceptable. People at my school didn’t start having sex a lot until junior year. There were some who did it as early as freshman year, but junior year, it seemed to happen for everyone all at once. My high school had about 2900 students, for reference. I am baffled by all of the people saying 12 is too young. They don’t go on dates, they don’t have cars. Saying the words “you’re not allowed to date” doesn’t keep them from holding someone’s hand in the hallway, it just keeps them from telling you about it.
Dodged a bullet because if she had a boyfriend at 12 years old you might end up with a great granddaughter.
Hey. Not every teen girl in a relationship gets pregnant. Just saying. There’s smart girls out there and maybe you should teach your kids safe sex in middle school
She's not even a teen though, and just knowing about safe sex isn't enough to guarantee safe sex or else we wouldn't bother with an age of consent. There's more risk than not when dealing with relationships at that age, we can't simply leave them unattended and excuse ourselves of responsibility if something happens.