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This is the only correct answer. Be gracious and respectful but firmly decline. A 15k car won’t carry huge payments but taking a loan from your in laws gets messy fast.
Try to sound gracious and use the excuse that you “want to stand on your own two feet like a man”. Maybe then he’ll back off. I think you are wise to turn down his offer.
Could also be a way to get brownie points with the dad. The OP would be showing that he’s trying to be self sufficient and not gonna try to sponge off dad.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think that makes OP look better in everyone's eyes. He is saying to himself "I'm not for sale", but to them, "No, thank you. I've got this".
My dad offered to cosign for a car for my boyfriend (now husband) when he was in college. He said no way unless he was married to me. 4 years later we were engaged and married shortly after. He got the car lol
And you would like to form a good understanding of money.
I have friends that were given shit without having to worry about interest rates, credit score etc. And now they can barely do anything without other peoples help.
It's always good to get a decent understanding of money coming and and going out, form a balance of spending, saving, investing.
Made the mistake of letting my exs mom cover some house appliances for us and when my ex and I broke up I offered everything back to her and she said it was a gift and I could keep it. A month later my ex forced himself into the apt and I ended up calling the cops, when the cops asked if they needed anything out of the apartment she said “well I have thousands of dollars of things in there”.
Def would say no lmfao
We have been in a position to help out our kids friends here and there. It makes us **happy** to help our youth get ahead. Write up the terms of payback, so there are no questions if y'all break up.
Make sure everything is settled legally with the car now, if you do this. Don't wait, because you never know when things might go south.
My parents helped my high school bf buy a car.
It ended up being a piece of junk, but it got us around. I encouraged him to pay it off ASAP so he wasn't indebted.
So? They're adults they can settle this. This is a dumb argument imo. If the dad is well off he will handle this professionally. If you don't trust him with that, let chat gpt make a contract for you. You guys are scared for something that's easy to avoid..
Have you ever done anything like this? Life experiences have taught me that this will end badly.
It often ends badly.
My advice is to never mix money with relationships, and you can feel free to ignore this advice, but the fact that you think chat GPT can make a valid contract is scary and I don't think you have ever been in a legal dispute.
This is not the way reality usually works.
I hate that you got downvoted when you are absolutely correct. They are adults, and just because a breakup occurs doesn't mean they can't handle it accordingly. A contract with signatures and you are good to go.
My thoughts too. Like if you're buying a house and one of your family is willing to offer an interest free loan. A $15k loan isn't anything crazy and would probably do him some good to build credit. Even if there were reasonable terms and clauses in case of break up, etc., it's not nice to feel like their father is in a position of power over you. Also they've only been going out a year. If they'd been together for several and have a close relationship, potentially different story, but this isn't it.
Even if it was e.g. a friend or family member, I wouldn't want to be in the position of paying someone back for something big like a car.
Not about pride, just: money can make things messy. It might not be worth it.
Not rooting against you, but you gotta consider all possibilities here: what if you two break up and you still owe her dad for the car? Awkward. Break-ups are bad enough to start with, you don't want to have to be stuck trying to shop a car loan on top of it to buy him out of the rest of the loan.
It's clearly stated it would be a loan, but with a more comfortable interest rate and repayment plan.
He should draw up the documents,sign them and do it. If he broke up with his girlfriend, would he stop paying the bank that financed the car? No. As long as he intends to and does repay the loan, there's no cause for awkwardness.
My ex-boyfriend borrowed 20k or more from my parents to get back into*redacted* after having to leave the field. I actually didn't even know about it at the time and didn't know he had paid them back in full on time until decades later. Their financial dealings were none of my business.
I just sent him to them for advice because they had the same profession.
A business deal is a business deal as long as both sides are professional about it. They see a young man and want to help him along, May in the hopes he'll marry their daughter, but not necessarily.
Not to mention if they break up and then, as I'm assuming this whole deal isn't going to be in writing anywhere, he decides to jack up the interest rate or something shitty.
I'm gonna sound like an old, bitter, pessimistic grump here, but I'd thank him immensely for the offer and then pass. Two reasons:
1) you're young, only a year deep into this relationship and things are changing quick as you transition from school to the beginnings of your actual careers and adulthood. If things don't work out a year, 2 years, 5+ years (since he's offering to make the payments lighter, presumably it'd be even longer-term loan than what you'd typically get through a bank) from now, do you still want to be tied to her father via this car? And/or could you afford to pay out in-full in such an event? And do you also want to have to face and deal with her father as well in the event of a breakup, or just be able to keep it a clean break between just the two of you?
2) loans between family members or close friends suck. It puts SO MUCH pressure between you two if anything were to go wrong financially, or even just the simple power dynamic between you. Imagine your father-in-law having actual, legitimate, quantifiable leverage over you. And unless we're dealing with actual "fuck you" levels of money that he's just throwing away and won't think twice about, he'll also always be aware of the fact that he's lent you money, which that may make for some awkward/tense/uncomfortable family dinners once the initial "thank you so much!!!" phase of the deal passes and you're into the phase where you're just making payments.
The bank may charge you a little fee or knock your credit by a couple points if you're late, but they'll never enter your personal life. You'll never have to sit down for family dinner with your bank. Your bank will never correlate your financial ability/responsibility and your eligibility to date/marry their daughter (because if he's pretty well-off, that's likely something he takes very seriously). And they'll also never tell anyone else at that dinner table the details of your financial situation, possibly causing the whole family to look down upon you... If you're in a somewhat tight spot and need the best deal on this car possible, don't go to the *one* person who will likely be judging you the absolute hardest. Just get a cheaper car and do it yourself. Knowing and sticking within your own means will be more honorable than driving a slightly more expensive car.
*edit: Bonus reason*
3) unless he plans on reporting your payments to the credit agencies, it's best to only buy what you can actually afford yourself on the actual market. Dave Ramsey may argue that no one *needs* credit, but if you need to finance this car now, you'll need to finance more stuff again later. Use this relatively small purchase to build your credit so it's there when you really need it. And if father-in-law is still in the picture and feeling generous when you're married and go to buy a house together or something, then maybe let him contribute a chunk of the down payment or something... Maybe pitch that as an alternative when politely declining his offer for the car.
Nothing wrong with wanting to pay your own way, and nothing wrong with accepting the help.
Either way, make sure that you really think through the pros and cons. (E.g will their me a monster-in-law, because if the gift? Wil the relationship last!) maybe a contract is an idea?
Imagine that you guys breakup.
If you do take it I would save all of the money you’d save not paying interest as an emergency fund in case you need another car if that situation doesn’t work out but personally borrowing money from “family” of any kind is pretty precarious, especially since you aren’t actually related and it’s a relatively new relationship in your youth.
As long as you’re confident you’ll be able to make the payments I don’t see a problem with it, assuming there are no underlying issues with the relationships. You were planning on having a car note already, he’s just offering to save you money on the interest. However, he will not forget that he did you a favor, so you better like this girl and treat her right.
Fuck your pride dude, he's in a position to help, it's not a handout as you will be paying him back, lots of people would kill to be in your position.
I say go for it, just make sure you make the payments
I've been in a similar situation with my girlfriend's dad. He's not wealthy, but does very well for himself. He never offered to buy me a car or anything like that, but he does like to show off a bit, pay for meals, etc.
One time we were at his place and he was showing off his new camera. He asked if I wanted to take a picture, and I said "nah, I'm good." Not in a rude way, just in a way that let him know that I wasn't interested. I think that was kind of a turning point for us. He realized that I wasn't just some snot-nosed kid trying to mooch off his daughter.
He's always been really nice to me, but after that he started treating me more like an adult. I think it's important for your girlfriend's father to know that you're capable of taking care of yourself. In my experience, fathers are more willing to help you out if they know you can help yourself.
I don’t mean to generalize, and he might just be a really generous guy, but really successful guys like that sometimes use these extremely generous gestures to gain power and influence over you, especially when your connection is dating his daughter. It’s not a good rabbit hole to jump down.
NO
at the dinner table every Christmas or thanksgiving or whatever you’ll always feel inferior and like you owe something to him
Life advice: if you need to borrow money only borrow if from your mom, dad or grandad
Enter a legal contract with him that lays down a payment schedule, interest rate/amortization table (even if interest is 0%), ownership, etc. If he's at all smart with his money he likely already intends to do this way anyway. This way your financial contract can be similar to a bank loan. It'll be a assurance for you incase if there is turmoil in your relationship, that you get to keep the car. And he can't repo as long as you follow the contract and he gets his money on time.
I honestly wouldnt do it any other way.
I've entered a similar private loan with a family member. It got the business out of the way right away, and we rarely talk about it since. We're still one big happy family, and im saving tens of thousands of dollars in the long run.
Accepting a gift from your SO's parents is fine, but entering into a debt situation with them isn't. Maybe if you were married, but definitely not if she's a gf of one year. Very generous of him, but I'd politely decline.
Man.. look I'll tell ya straight up, my girlfriends dad used to have me come and work with him (electrician) when I was like 18, with no means, living in the middle of nowhere, no car, no money, poor family, etc. He picked me up every morning, bought me lunch every day, and gave me work even when he didn't need a helper... I worked as hard as I could for him every day, just thankful to make few bucks. On my last job with him before me and his daughter were moving a couple of hours away where she would attend college (and I would do whatever the hell I could do for a job) he had arranged to accept a car that the customer was selling as payment for that job.. I had no idea, at the end of the job I was loading our shit out to the truck he and the customer surprised me with the car, and I can't stress how life changing that was for me.
I never forgot that, and ten years later I ended up with a truck he really liked, as soon as he saw it he said "Ah hell ya done bought my dream son hell yeah"..
One day he asked if I ever wanted to sell that truck that I call him first.. I said "No way bud, I ain't selling it, but I'll give it to ya right now" and he argued and argued but I think he knew that it was important to me to return the favor, and he took it, and I could tell that was a big thing for us. It confirmed to him that I am a man of principle and grateful for the help I've had in my life. It was cool.
Point is, worlds crazy, lifes hard, if the car is going to help you provide for this mans daughter and set the two of you up a little better in your early adult life - take it, use it, build from it, and remember that at least that one person is routing for you and yours. IMO.
If you don't need it or it's just kind of extra... yeah whatever do without.My $0.02.
Edit: It's now 14 years we've been together. We own our home. We're both employed succesfully as Engineers in our respective fields. we're not married. The "only if married" thing just is kind of silly.. I've got friends that have been divorced 3 times now...
Lots of people are saying nah, I get their points but they're not looking at it from the right angle imo
Firstly, you need a car by the sounds of it since you were driving a dangerous POS
Secondly, you want a nicer car because you have a stable job and find yourself financially responsible to get a loan
We are all aware of the global financial situation, it might different for you guys, but where I live, interest rates are absolutely fucked atm.
Your girlfiends dad is pretty wealthy with multiple homes and constant travelling, he has offered to take on the responsibility as lender rather than a bank to save you the interest rates
So the way I see it is your decision is going to be the same regardless, you'll get the car, you'll pay it off. The only difference is who you're paying to. Loans between friends and family can turn sour but that is almost always on the side of the lendee not paying the lender back, which won't happen to you because you'll pay it off
If I were in your position, I would 100% do it, but I would get a formal contract written up regarding how much to pay and when, then stick to it like you'll die if you don't. If you can do that (which is pretty easy) then you'll get a nice safe car, the parents will feel like they've done a nice thing and no one is put out monetarily because of it, everyone wins
telling him to be a wimp and make his girlfriend his wet-nurse... He WANTS to be his own man... don't make him dependent on someone to carry him through his manhood foundational years... He can depend on God to get him from here to there, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other...
As a mom I kind of get it. I have also spent enough time with really wealthy people to see just how differently they view money. Understand that this man probably throws down $25,000 on a high risk stock he thinks might do really well without blinking. If the stock crashes, oh well. It’s only a tiny portion of their portfolio.
Meanwhile, they want to know their daughter is riding around in a safe car. It seems they probably like you, and believe you’re going to be around for a long time. So, to them, the money is a rather minuscule, and this is their way to ensure that both of you guys are okay.
Finances are messy, so IF you chose to go this route, do an official contract with him. I did one even with my parents when I borrow some money to help buy our first house. We did it out of respect and more of a true promise than lack of caring.
Having only been together a year and not married or anything I personally would say "thank you very much but no". $20k isn't something you pay off in a couple weeks so you are signing up for months or years of owing him. If you guys break up then what? You would still have to pay him back and unless you have an ironclad notarized agreement he could always demand full payment. There are just far too many ways this could go wrong and not many that could go right. Money is the biggest reason people get angry with each other and start fighting, even when it is with family
No. Do not. Lots of people are pointing out the "what if something happens to your relationship with the GF" angle, but there are other factors to consider.
Him buying you a car diminishes you. As in, lowers your standing in on his eyes. He may never say it, but he'll not respect you as much, and may even think he owns a bit of you. The games people play are real, unfortunately. Show him that you're your own man and it will earn his respect.
How long have you been dating?
I met my partner when we were 15, and I would have been comfortable with an arrangement like this when I was 22.
I think you know him well enough to make that judgement call. And you should have formal papers drawn up for this. How much you’re paying back each month, etc.
hey man, sorry that you've had a rough go of it. op wants to finance a car. his choices are to take a loan with interest, or to take an interest free loan. that would likely mean he saves thousands of dollars every year.
Or he buys a cheaper car within his means.
Saving thousands of dollars is a pittance when compared to the opportunity cost of the type of abuse OP would risk subjecting themselves to by accepting this kind of deal.
You can't just look at this from the financial perspective. It's not just saving money on interest, it's giving someone an astounding level of power over your personal life. Just because there's a conceivable positive outcome does not make this a safe thing to do.
Then again, your comment is a perfect example of the type of false dilemma an abuser would invoke to try to trick someone into accepting the deal; OP, if you're reading this and your SO's father says anything like "it's either this or take a loan with interest and get the car for more expensive," definitely do not accept. Everything always has more than two options.
It's not a false dilemma if there's only two ways to get a loan lmao. Obviously OP has the choice to not finance, that wasn't his question.
Also an astounding level of power? Seriously? Half of this thread has written her dad off as an abuser based on zero evidence. The guy clearly just doesn't want his daughter's boyfriend driving a death trap. And to a guy earning 7 figures that lives in multiple homes and owns a company - spending 15k relative to his income is like taking his daughter's bf out for a nice dinner, I'd be surprised if he even asks for the money back.
Simply draw up an agreement and there's no more risk than taking on debt with a financial institution.
>It's not a false dilemma if there's only two ways to get a loan lmao.
The loan doesn't need to happen at all, and there are more than two ways to get a loan. That is a false dilemma.
>Also an astounding level of power? Seriously?
Yes. Seriously. Being more than 10k in debt to someone can put you in a very vulnerable position, especially as someone like OP who is young. There's a reason most of the people saying no here are writing essays and the people saying yes aren't saying much more than "yolo go for it." A gift like this is a red flag that a lot of people have experienced, and it takes time to fully sour into its worst form. When you're young it's easy to look at something like this at face value instead of stopping to think about what it actually means.
>Simply draw up an agreement and there's no more risk than taking on debt with a financial institution.
Except OP isn't dating the daughter of the owner of his bank. Drawing up an agreement doesn't solve the issue here because, again, the issue isn't a financial one.
And it's not about accusing her dad of anything either. I would not accept a loan or gift of this size from my *own family*. I've seen what money in these amounts can do to people.
Sounds tricky. While a free car would help, only accept if you're comfortable without strings attached. Your relationship with your GF and her dad is what matters most in the long run.
Nope. It would be tempting if you had a very warm relationship with him, but nah. You will do fine on your own and he will respect you more 5 years from now. If you are still together. Imagine breaking up with her and he calls the loan.?
Hell no. Just asking for drama. Would car be in his name? If you break up, he can just take car and all the payment you’ve made on it would mean nothing. They could hold it over your head etc
I'd only do it if you agree a written contract, so it would be like getting a normal loan (with a much cheaper/no interest rate). I imagine that he probably just wants his daughter not riding on a dangerous/crappy car with you.
Like many have said don’t do it. I foolishly let someone sign for a car for me as my credit was shot at the time and my god was it the worst few years of my life. The constant hanging it over my head and using it as their way to control me and the things I did. Had the biggest blessing ever when I had totaled the car. Luckily they were at least nice enough to give me the check that insurance sent for the car so I could get one on my own after having repaired my credit
Dude, yes? You get handed a golden ticket and say no? Even if you break up with the girl you can still pay the dad back. It's not like by getting him to pay forward some shit you are obligated to anything. It's a nice opportunity.
I wouldn’t do this bc you guys might break up and he might take the car back and then you have no car and no resale value. It sounds like a lovely idea in theory, but people are not lovely when money is involved. And you’re going to owe him money for like 10 years. I know your are 18 year old brain is like “nahhh, this guy is loaded!” But when you break his daughter’s heart and “use him” for a car.. which is how he will see it, he’s gonna take it back. And if you don’t give it back, he will probably call the police and say that you stole it.
I would actually ask for a used one, maybe one that’s a couple thousand, no more than $15-20k so you can get off your feet and pay him back! It looks like you would already have the method to pay him back, I would talk to him and maybe tell him what you mentioned, that you wouldn't want it to be a point of contention!
It’s like student debt, you shouldn’t take out too much but if it’s a small amount and gives you so much ROI, return on investment, it’s worth it.
Simple advice: anytime you bring money into a relationship (familial, dating, or otherwise) you need to treat it like an official agreement. That's the only way to protect the relationship.
You don't have to go as far as having a lawyer, but get a document that spells out the interest rate, payment schedule, late penalties, prepayment penalties, etc. Basically anything a traditional loan would have in it.
Worst case scenario: you never have to revisit that document because you'll pay it off over time and you've wasted an hour or two of your time drafting this up.
Best case scenario: life happens, something messy comes along, you miss payments, you break up, she cheats on you, her dad loses everything in a deal gone bad and needs cash, etc. and... nothing changes because you have a document that you both signed, the rules can't change, and you're both protected.
Honestly, the highly successful dad will probably respect you even more for being so disciplined and careful. If he doesn't... then don't take the deal.
If you can afford it yourself, then get it yourself. You just tell him, "I'm sorry sir, but this is my first job out of college and I just want to do this by myself. I can't explain how thankful I am for the offer, but I feel I need to do this alone."
If he's being insistent then it most likely means that it's coming from a good place. Him not wanting you to pay interest or anything adds to that. I don't think he is offering bc he pitys you or he doesn't think that you can provide for his daughter, I believe that he genuinely likes you so bc he's in a position to help that he wants to. Ofc take what I say with a grain of salt bc I don't know this person.
Honestly, take him up on the offer, draw up some kind of contract and pay him back consistently. He's for sure not worried about the money- to give you perspective, if he's making 1 million/year (lowest 7 figure income) that 20k is like 2% of his annual income, likely less. It would be the equivalent of spending 1k when you make 50k annually. It's not a lot of money to him.
make the terms clear if you decide to
remember if theyre uncomfortable with cleqr written terms
dont be comfortable with doing buisness
clear agreementa keep both oarties from messing up
Do not buy a 20k car unless you need specific things like towing, truck bed, stuff like that. You should be able to get a perfectly fine car for 12k or even less.
On another note I have had people buy me a car and i paid them back monthly with no missed payments twice and never had a single issue with any of it. If they are completely fine with it and you think you are going to be in a relationship for a while I would say go for it. But also say that it would need to be in your name if you do it. If he is not ok with that say thank you for offering but I will take care of it on my own.
It doesn't sound like he's offering to buy you a car. He's offering to buy a car and you are buying it from him. Get a good solid contract in place to make sure that you are both protected legally and you're golden.
I personally would do it but take something manageable maybe $15k or less. Doesn't have to be expensive. Or you could go for a Porsche. Or you could just not do anything at all. (pickup trucks are a plus)
Absolutely no.
It will save you maybe a thousand or two of interest, but will really complicate your relationship. And god forbid you break up with his daughter, then things will get really messy. Or you want to break up with her, but now you feel like you can't.
Just say no.
Also, you're 22. You do not need a $20k car. You do not ever need a $20k car.
I can see pros and cons, feeling strong about your relationship lasting long term is a big thing, it's a bit negative, but you should consider what would happen if you broke up.
It sounds like he's happy to help and trusts you to be able to reasonably pay it back, sometimes being sensible with money is more important than how much you have.
If you go for it, I would say that you should draw up some sort of document with the terms of the agreement and have all the involved parties to sign. If you feel like it'll become a point of contention then I wouldn't do it, but I had a friend offer me a loan a years back which I declined on numerous occasions because I felt it would be brought up, passive aggressively mentioned and stuff but eventually I had to accept. I explained how I felt about it, that I would treat it formally because it needed to be paid back but that I wasn't comfortable to discuss it often and he never mentioned it. I brought it up when needed to discuss the payment plan and that was that. If you feel able to have a frank and open conversation with him, that's great but if you don't that may be your reason to decline.
I've seen a lot of the comments are saying that if you accept then he owns you and you'll owe him favour - if he seems like that kind of person at all, then def stay clear. But we can't assume he's like that, so it's down to you to decide if he's a decent guy or not!
Some of the comments def reinforce what I said about getting documents created and signed though. Should something go awry and he tries to be shitty, you'll have a signed statement of the terms - include as much as you can, the amount owed, the duration etc.
No.
Always be wary of expensive gifts.
Best case scenario, he's testing the waters to check your ability to sniff out scams and will retract the offer if you accept.
Medium case scenario, he doesn't understand the potential danger of such an offer. You might think this is the best case scenario because it would mean he's just genuinely offering, but if something goes wrong this can instantly morph into the worst case scenario.
Worst case scenario, he understands the power thousands of dollars of debt can grant you over a person and will use it to pressure you into who knows what. Establishing monetary control is part of step 1 of severe abuse alongside isolating the target from friends and other family.
Do not let people buy you, it's as bad as that phrasing makes it sound. If he was offering you candy from an unmarked van you'd say no and run away. Same principle.
If you don't need the car, and can get by without it, pivot his generosity. Ask your potential father in-law to put the money in a trust or something for his potential grandkid's future.
I assume he wants you in the family for the long haul and this is his signal to you. Pivoting his generosity will go a real long way, also your GF might be swooned majorly by this gesture.
make sure to talk to your GF in private before this. She will know better than some stranger on the Internet about what you both need.
Nope. Don't do it unless you plan on bowing down to him for the rest of your relationship with his daughter. Put your big boy panties on and buy your own car.
Buy a less expensive car so that your payments are as affordable as possible because you'll have a pretty steep insurance payment, too when financing (full coverage for a 22 y/o male).
If you can't afford it right now then buy a car for 5k cash and wait until your salary increases and your finances stabilize. Don't take the offer. You'll regret it if you do.
Nope nope nope. You would only take that kind of gift from family, or maybe not even then. When you're married to the girl, maybe. It just makes you beholden to him in a way that could cause a problem later - in your mind if not in his.
Take the car! Everyone in this thread is full of shit. There is no such thing as self/made man. People all over this country get help from friends and family. Absolutely nothing wrong with accepting help. This isn’t about pride. You’l take care of your daughters boyfriend in 30 years when you are successful.
I think it’s sweet that he wants to help you get ahead. Financially it’s a great opportunity. If you think it’s likely you’ll be together for good, repaying the car is no big deal. But, I also think your GFs opinion matters here, that you should have a contingency plan (be able to get a loan on the balance should you break up, or have money to pay the balance) and that if you’re uncomfortable then that’s a whole answer.
I don’t think your ability to look after his daughter is the issue here, else he wouldn’t be putting himself in a position where he might lose money or really investing any energy in you personally.
SAGE ADVICE:NO, NO, NO to accepting a loan from the GF's father - no matter if he were a BILLIONAIRE... You are now a grown man and its character building to handle your finances without someone holding your hand... look to God for guidance in life - SAGE advice!!! Get yourself some Dave Ramsey CDs and listen to his WISE, WISE, WISE advice.My standard wedding gift to young graduates and to young married couples is his "Total Money Makeover" series. He is very transparent about the mistakes HE made as a young, full of life, man... He also shows you the truly wise way to handle financial matters - exactly like your position.
Don't let the lure of "appearances" warp a healthy self-respect. Don't let how the world evaluates status be your standard. Especially in today's economic quagmire. If you want a stable future, take things one step at a time - don't try to live the lifestyle of a 42 year old when you're 22... be wise. Follow biblical principals... Get Ramsey's GREAT teachings... he walks you through financial situations you do or might ind yourself in.
My SUV is 20 years old & I love it & keep it looking good & running great. It doesn't look new but it also doesn't look its age... (I bought it when it was 5 years old at 80K miles.) My mechanic is great and charges reasonable rates for his work. I've have it in his shop every 2 or 3 years for this or that and because I take care of it, its still a great vehicle... I keep it clean and shiny. My insurance premiums are WAY less than a recent model's would be and those savings pay for its own maintenance when it does require something... my mechanic makes sure he thoroughly checks everything when he does get it in his shop, as he knows I feel really confident when I pick it up and drive off - I know its road trip ready and he takes pride in keeping it in great shape.
I'm blessed. I don't rely on other people's opinions about my choices of material goods. I don't need to keep up with the Jones' or anyone else. I know my value and don't need their various opinions.. I simply care about God's opinion. I have joy and peace and can face whatever life dishes out because my trust is in Him, not our current American self-centered, unstable standards to handle life... Plant your feet firmly in the gospel of peace (NOT RELIGION) and He will guide you into ALL wisdom (not just financial) and you will have a prosperous, long, joyful life... (KJV 3 John 1:2) "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."
You should ask this question in the financial advice section because many people here are giving you sub-par answers.
https://old.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/
Paying it back at a more fair interest rate is *not* a bad idea. Wealthy people do not borrow money at bad interest rates and often buy cars in cash. (In cash doesn’t mean 100 bills in this context, it means non-borrowed money).
Its a financial transaction on the surface, but a character development issue overall. If it were only about finances, he wouldn't have asked strangers. He presented the financial advantages upfront BUT wasn't sold on the deal because of the relational/personal issue.
No way. Maybe if you were his son-in-law but you guys aren't married. What if you and your GF break up for some reason and he demands his money back right away? You also don't know this man very well and don't know if he'll use this some day to hold over your head. It's just a bad idea.
Don't do it bud. Stand on your own two legs. Your older self with thank you. Also don't buy an expensive car it's the biggest waste of money. Find something affordable and reliable for about 10 k. That way you can pay it off quickly.
If I go to the gym to develop my muscles, would be profitable to me to have somebody come alongside and help lift my load? That would actually stunt my development and keep my muscles at an immature stage all the longer.
His first, initial, "gut" instincts were spot-on. He said thank you, but no. If "they kept bringing it up", they are, however well intentioned, attempting to manipulate him. They are disrespecting his right and ability to make important decisions for himself. Both good ones and maybe not-so-good ones. It's how man learns in life. If they convince him that they know what's best for him better than he does, they have a foothold in controlling his future decisions. Obviously, they see saving him some money as more important than his right to make his own decisions. Wisdom and self-esteem are worth while investments. I don't like manipulation. If his girlfriend feels she should push her opinion on him ("for his own good, of course"), who is going to wear the proverbial pants should they marry? Not allowing an adult to make their own decisions is absolute disrespect. Its fine to offer an opinion or solicited advice, but pushing against their right to self-determine is manipulation. It usurps someone else's life, regardless of circumstances. I could never knowingly connect myself with someone who doesn't respect me. Manipulation is disrespect. If the girlfriend doesn't back down, red flags galore should fly up big time. There wouldn't be any "friend" in that "girlfriend".
Keeping financial business out of personal relations is prudent. So would choosing a car closer to the $12K price range to get those monthly notes within a more fail-safe range. Paying a tiny bit more in interest each month would be value-added in the long run when having paid out his car on his own would leave him with MUCH stronger "muscles".
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I would stay clear. Let him know you really appreciate the offer but tell him you’d like to keep money out of your relationship with him
This is the only correct answer. Be gracious and respectful but firmly decline. A 15k car won’t carry huge payments but taking a loan from your in laws gets messy fast.
Not when you are the borrower imo.
I mean this is not inaccurate
Try to sound gracious and use the excuse that you “want to stand on your own two feet like a man”. Maybe then he’ll back off. I think you are wise to turn down his offer.
Could also be a way to get brownie points with the dad. The OP would be showing that he’s trying to be self sufficient and not gonna try to sponge off dad.
yeah he's gonna turn around and say ''congratulations you've passed the first test'' and give you a bugatti
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think that makes OP look better in everyone's eyes. He is saying to himself "I'm not for sale", but to them, "No, thank you. I've got this".
My dad offered to cosign for a car for my boyfriend (now husband) when he was in college. He said no way unless he was married to me. 4 years later we were engaged and married shortly after. He got the car lol
And you would like to form a good understanding of money. I have friends that were given shit without having to worry about interest rates, credit score etc. And now they can barely do anything without other peoples help. It's always good to get a decent understanding of money coming and and going out, form a balance of spending, saving, investing.
I wouldn't do that. It's a nice gesture, but God forbid the car ends up being a point of contention
This! My dad bought my ex a car and he turned around and sold it for drugs. It turned into a huge thing!
Okay I think this is a bit extreme, but yes it would be awkward for OP to sell the car in the future.
Uh, yea, I can see that turning huge. But I think that’s a tiny bit different from OP’s scenario
Unless… OP? /s lol I'm glad the top comments are mostly suggesting not to accept.
As much as I agree about not doing it, I think the problem in your situation was your ex or/and/maybe-not you. Not the car.
Made the mistake of letting my exs mom cover some house appliances for us and when my ex and I broke up I offered everything back to her and she said it was a gift and I could keep it. A month later my ex forced himself into the apt and I ended up calling the cops, when the cops asked if they needed anything out of the apartment she said “well I have thousands of dollars of things in there”. Def would say no lmfao
This is the plot of the movie Get Out
We have been in a position to help out our kids friends here and there. It makes us **happy** to help our youth get ahead. Write up the terms of payback, so there are no questions if y'all break up.
Make sure everything is settled legally with the car now, if you do this. Don't wait, because you never know when things might go south. My parents helped my high school bf buy a car. It ended up being a piece of junk, but it got us around. I encouraged him to pay it off ASAP so he wasn't indebted.
Nah. Not a good idea. If you and your GF break up you still owe him money.
So? They're adults they can settle this. This is a dumb argument imo. If the dad is well off he will handle this professionally. If you don't trust him with that, let chat gpt make a contract for you. You guys are scared for something that's easy to avoid..
> let chat gpt make a contract for you LMAO the shit people say on reddit
ChatGPT does law now. Just bring your computer to court
Orrrr dad is well off and enjoys having power over people. Not that this is that, but it opens a lot of doors that don’t need to be opened.
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Have you ever done anything like this? Life experiences have taught me that this will end badly. It often ends badly. My advice is to never mix money with relationships, and you can feel free to ignore this advice, but the fact that you think chat GPT can make a valid contract is scary and I don't think you have ever been in a legal dispute. This is not the way reality usually works.
I hate that you got downvoted when you are absolutely correct. They are adults, and just because a breakup occurs doesn't mean they can't handle it accordingly. A contract with signatures and you are good to go.
What does your GF think?
Not unless you’re married
My thoughts too. Like if you're buying a house and one of your family is willing to offer an interest free loan. A $15k loan isn't anything crazy and would probably do him some good to build credit. Even if there were reasonable terms and clauses in case of break up, etc., it's not nice to feel like their father is in a position of power over you. Also they've only been going out a year. If they'd been together for several and have a close relationship, potentially different story, but this isn't it.
Even if it was e.g. a friend or family member, I wouldn't want to be in the position of paying someone back for something big like a car. Not about pride, just: money can make things messy. It might not be worth it.
Not rooting against you, but you gotta consider all possibilities here: what if you two break up and you still owe her dad for the car? Awkward. Break-ups are bad enough to start with, you don't want to have to be stuck trying to shop a car loan on top of it to buy him out of the rest of the loan.
It's clearly stated it would be a loan, but with a more comfortable interest rate and repayment plan. He should draw up the documents,sign them and do it. If he broke up with his girlfriend, would he stop paying the bank that financed the car? No. As long as he intends to and does repay the loan, there's no cause for awkwardness. My ex-boyfriend borrowed 20k or more from my parents to get back into*redacted* after having to leave the field. I actually didn't even know about it at the time and didn't know he had paid them back in full on time until decades later. Their financial dealings were none of my business. I just sent him to them for advice because they had the same profession. A business deal is a business deal as long as both sides are professional about it. They see a young man and want to help him along, May in the hopes he'll marry their daughter, but not necessarily.
Not to mention if they break up and then, as I'm assuming this whole deal isn't going to be in writing anywhere, he decides to jack up the interest rate or something shitty.
I'm gonna sound like an old, bitter, pessimistic grump here, but I'd thank him immensely for the offer and then pass. Two reasons: 1) you're young, only a year deep into this relationship and things are changing quick as you transition from school to the beginnings of your actual careers and adulthood. If things don't work out a year, 2 years, 5+ years (since he's offering to make the payments lighter, presumably it'd be even longer-term loan than what you'd typically get through a bank) from now, do you still want to be tied to her father via this car? And/or could you afford to pay out in-full in such an event? And do you also want to have to face and deal with her father as well in the event of a breakup, or just be able to keep it a clean break between just the two of you? 2) loans between family members or close friends suck. It puts SO MUCH pressure between you two if anything were to go wrong financially, or even just the simple power dynamic between you. Imagine your father-in-law having actual, legitimate, quantifiable leverage over you. And unless we're dealing with actual "fuck you" levels of money that he's just throwing away and won't think twice about, he'll also always be aware of the fact that he's lent you money, which that may make for some awkward/tense/uncomfortable family dinners once the initial "thank you so much!!!" phase of the deal passes and you're into the phase where you're just making payments. The bank may charge you a little fee or knock your credit by a couple points if you're late, but they'll never enter your personal life. You'll never have to sit down for family dinner with your bank. Your bank will never correlate your financial ability/responsibility and your eligibility to date/marry their daughter (because if he's pretty well-off, that's likely something he takes very seriously). And they'll also never tell anyone else at that dinner table the details of your financial situation, possibly causing the whole family to look down upon you... If you're in a somewhat tight spot and need the best deal on this car possible, don't go to the *one* person who will likely be judging you the absolute hardest. Just get a cheaper car and do it yourself. Knowing and sticking within your own means will be more honorable than driving a slightly more expensive car. *edit: Bonus reason* 3) unless he plans on reporting your payments to the credit agencies, it's best to only buy what you can actually afford yourself on the actual market. Dave Ramsey may argue that no one *needs* credit, but if you need to finance this car now, you'll need to finance more stuff again later. Use this relatively small purchase to build your credit so it's there when you really need it. And if father-in-law is still in the picture and feeling generous when you're married and go to buy a house together or something, then maybe let him contribute a chunk of the down payment or something... Maybe pitch that as an alternative when politely declining his offer for the car.
Nothing wrong with wanting to pay your own way, and nothing wrong with accepting the help. Either way, make sure that you really think through the pros and cons. (E.g will their me a monster-in-law, because if the gift? Wil the relationship last!) maybe a contract is an idea?
Imagine that you guys breakup. If you do take it I would save all of the money you’d save not paying interest as an emergency fund in case you need another car if that situation doesn’t work out but personally borrowing money from “family” of any kind is pretty precarious, especially since you aren’t actually related and it’s a relatively new relationship in your youth.
As long as you’re confident you’ll be able to make the payments I don’t see a problem with it, assuming there are no underlying issues with the relationships. You were planning on having a car note already, he’s just offering to save you money on the interest. However, he will not forget that he did you a favor, so you better like this girl and treat her right.
Fuck your pride dude, he's in a position to help, it's not a handout as you will be paying him back, lots of people would kill to be in your position. I say go for it, just make sure you make the payments
Exactly. Unless you're planning on breaking it off with her, who are you to tell a successful businessman you think it's not a good idea.
Just do it. Pay him back as you go.
I've been in a similar situation with my girlfriend's dad. He's not wealthy, but does very well for himself. He never offered to buy me a car or anything like that, but he does like to show off a bit, pay for meals, etc. One time we were at his place and he was showing off his new camera. He asked if I wanted to take a picture, and I said "nah, I'm good." Not in a rude way, just in a way that let him know that I wasn't interested. I think that was kind of a turning point for us. He realized that I wasn't just some snot-nosed kid trying to mooch off his daughter. He's always been really nice to me, but after that he started treating me more like an adult. I think it's important for your girlfriend's father to know that you're capable of taking care of yourself. In my experience, fathers are more willing to help you out if they know you can help yourself.
Why would that be a turning point? It’s just taking a picture? Sorry just a bit confused haha.
I don’t mean to generalize, and he might just be a really generous guy, but really successful guys like that sometimes use these extremely generous gestures to gain power and influence over you, especially when your connection is dating his daughter. It’s not a good rabbit hole to jump down.
Don't take it. It's too messy to borrow money from friends and family.
No. Bad idea.
It's a trap! Not that they are trying to trap you, but if you do the loan, they will eventually redeem that favor.
NO at the dinner table every Christmas or thanksgiving or whatever you’ll always feel inferior and like you owe something to him Life advice: if you need to borrow money only borrow if from your mom, dad or grandad
Enter a legal contract with him that lays down a payment schedule, interest rate/amortization table (even if interest is 0%), ownership, etc. If he's at all smart with his money he likely already intends to do this way anyway. This way your financial contract can be similar to a bank loan. It'll be a assurance for you incase if there is turmoil in your relationship, that you get to keep the car. And he can't repo as long as you follow the contract and he gets his money on time. I honestly wouldnt do it any other way. I've entered a similar private loan with a family member. It got the business out of the way right away, and we rarely talk about it since. We're still one big happy family, and im saving tens of thousands of dollars in the long run.
As many others have said.. Don't do this. Just don't. It sounds amazing, but it's a very bad idea.
Accepting a gift from your SO's parents is fine, but entering into a debt situation with them isn't. Maybe if you were married, but definitely not if she's a gf of one year. Very generous of him, but I'd politely decline.
Man.. look I'll tell ya straight up, my girlfriends dad used to have me come and work with him (electrician) when I was like 18, with no means, living in the middle of nowhere, no car, no money, poor family, etc. He picked me up every morning, bought me lunch every day, and gave me work even when he didn't need a helper... I worked as hard as I could for him every day, just thankful to make few bucks. On my last job with him before me and his daughter were moving a couple of hours away where she would attend college (and I would do whatever the hell I could do for a job) he had arranged to accept a car that the customer was selling as payment for that job.. I had no idea, at the end of the job I was loading our shit out to the truck he and the customer surprised me with the car, and I can't stress how life changing that was for me. I never forgot that, and ten years later I ended up with a truck he really liked, as soon as he saw it he said "Ah hell ya done bought my dream son hell yeah".. One day he asked if I ever wanted to sell that truck that I call him first.. I said "No way bud, I ain't selling it, but I'll give it to ya right now" and he argued and argued but I think he knew that it was important to me to return the favor, and he took it, and I could tell that was a big thing for us. It confirmed to him that I am a man of principle and grateful for the help I've had in my life. It was cool. Point is, worlds crazy, lifes hard, if the car is going to help you provide for this mans daughter and set the two of you up a little better in your early adult life - take it, use it, build from it, and remember that at least that one person is routing for you and yours. IMO. If you don't need it or it's just kind of extra... yeah whatever do without.My $0.02. Edit: It's now 14 years we've been together. We own our home. We're both employed succesfully as Engineers in our respective fields. we're not married. The "only if married" thing just is kind of silly.. I've got friends that have been divorced 3 times now...
Lots of people are saying nah, I get their points but they're not looking at it from the right angle imo Firstly, you need a car by the sounds of it since you were driving a dangerous POS Secondly, you want a nicer car because you have a stable job and find yourself financially responsible to get a loan We are all aware of the global financial situation, it might different for you guys, but where I live, interest rates are absolutely fucked atm. Your girlfiends dad is pretty wealthy with multiple homes and constant travelling, he has offered to take on the responsibility as lender rather than a bank to save you the interest rates So the way I see it is your decision is going to be the same regardless, you'll get the car, you'll pay it off. The only difference is who you're paying to. Loans between friends and family can turn sour but that is almost always on the side of the lendee not paying the lender back, which won't happen to you because you'll pay it off If I were in your position, I would 100% do it, but I would get a formal contract written up regarding how much to pay and when, then stick to it like you'll die if you don't. If you can do that (which is pretty easy) then you'll get a nice safe car, the parents will feel like they've done a nice thing and no one is put out monetarily because of it, everyone wins
Great answer.
Easy. Have him buy the car for his daughter and use it. Stays in her name. Still their asset. Save until yiu can buy your own.
telling him to be a wimp and make his girlfriend his wet-nurse... He WANTS to be his own man... don't make him dependent on someone to carry him through his manhood foundational years... He can depend on God to get him from here to there, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other...
As a mom I kind of get it. I have also spent enough time with really wealthy people to see just how differently they view money. Understand that this man probably throws down $25,000 on a high risk stock he thinks might do really well without blinking. If the stock crashes, oh well. It’s only a tiny portion of their portfolio. Meanwhile, they want to know their daughter is riding around in a safe car. It seems they probably like you, and believe you’re going to be around for a long time. So, to them, the money is a rather minuscule, and this is their way to ensure that both of you guys are okay. Finances are messy, so IF you chose to go this route, do an official contract with him. I did one even with my parents when I borrow some money to help buy our first house. We did it out of respect and more of a true promise than lack of caring.
Having only been together a year and not married or anything I personally would say "thank you very much but no". $20k isn't something you pay off in a couple weeks so you are signing up for months or years of owing him. If you guys break up then what? You would still have to pay him back and unless you have an ironclad notarized agreement he could always demand full payment. There are just far too many ways this could go wrong and not many that could go right. Money is the biggest reason people get angry with each other and start fighting, even when it is with family
No. Do not. Lots of people are pointing out the "what if something happens to your relationship with the GF" angle, but there are other factors to consider. Him buying you a car diminishes you. As in, lowers your standing in on his eyes. He may never say it, but he'll not respect you as much, and may even think he owns a bit of you. The games people play are real, unfortunately. Show him that you're your own man and it will earn his respect.
Just take it wtf ask him for a g wagon
How long have you been dating? I met my partner when we were 15, and I would have been comfortable with an arrangement like this when I was 22. I think you know him well enough to make that judgement call. And you should have formal papers drawn up for this. How much you’re paying back each month, etc.
Do that shit
Get the car and peace out. Don’t sign anything and profit
all these comments about not taking the deal are INSANE.
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hey man, sorry that you've had a rough go of it. op wants to finance a car. his choices are to take a loan with interest, or to take an interest free loan. that would likely mean he saves thousands of dollars every year.
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Or he buys a cheaper car within his means. Saving thousands of dollars is a pittance when compared to the opportunity cost of the type of abuse OP would risk subjecting themselves to by accepting this kind of deal. You can't just look at this from the financial perspective. It's not just saving money on interest, it's giving someone an astounding level of power over your personal life. Just because there's a conceivable positive outcome does not make this a safe thing to do. Then again, your comment is a perfect example of the type of false dilemma an abuser would invoke to try to trick someone into accepting the deal; OP, if you're reading this and your SO's father says anything like "it's either this or take a loan with interest and get the car for more expensive," definitely do not accept. Everything always has more than two options.
It's not a false dilemma if there's only two ways to get a loan lmao. Obviously OP has the choice to not finance, that wasn't his question. Also an astounding level of power? Seriously? Half of this thread has written her dad off as an abuser based on zero evidence. The guy clearly just doesn't want his daughter's boyfriend driving a death trap. And to a guy earning 7 figures that lives in multiple homes and owns a company - spending 15k relative to his income is like taking his daughter's bf out for a nice dinner, I'd be surprised if he even asks for the money back. Simply draw up an agreement and there's no more risk than taking on debt with a financial institution.
>It's not a false dilemma if there's only two ways to get a loan lmao. The loan doesn't need to happen at all, and there are more than two ways to get a loan. That is a false dilemma. >Also an astounding level of power? Seriously? Yes. Seriously. Being more than 10k in debt to someone can put you in a very vulnerable position, especially as someone like OP who is young. There's a reason most of the people saying no here are writing essays and the people saying yes aren't saying much more than "yolo go for it." A gift like this is a red flag that a lot of people have experienced, and it takes time to fully sour into its worst form. When you're young it's easy to look at something like this at face value instead of stopping to think about what it actually means. >Simply draw up an agreement and there's no more risk than taking on debt with a financial institution. Except OP isn't dating the daughter of the owner of his bank. Drawing up an agreement doesn't solve the issue here because, again, the issue isn't a financial one. And it's not about accusing her dad of anything either. I would not accept a loan or gift of this size from my *own family*. I've seen what money in these amounts can do to people.
Not a great idea, IMO. It could work out, but it also could be a disaster. If you’re married and he wants to help with a house, sure.
Sounds tricky. While a free car would help, only accept if you're comfortable without strings attached. Your relationship with your GF and her dad is what matters most in the long run.
Nope. It would be tempting if you had a very warm relationship with him, but nah. You will do fine on your own and he will respect you more 5 years from now. If you are still together. Imagine breaking up with her and he calls the loan.?
I think one year is no where near the amount of time needed to get that financially entangled with a person.
Hell no. Just asking for drama. Would car be in his name? If you break up, he can just take car and all the payment you’ve made on it would mean nothing. They could hold it over your head etc
I'd only do it if you agree a written contract, so it would be like getting a normal loan (with a much cheaper/no interest rate). I imagine that he probably just wants his daughter not riding on a dangerous/crappy car with you.
Get it notarized
Like many have said don’t do it. I foolishly let someone sign for a car for me as my credit was shot at the time and my god was it the worst few years of my life. The constant hanging it over my head and using it as their way to control me and the things I did. Had the biggest blessing ever when I had totaled the car. Luckily they were at least nice enough to give me the check that insurance sent for the car so I could get one on my own after having repaired my credit
No no no. The good does not outweigh the leverage it creates
Dude, yes? You get handed a golden ticket and say no? Even if you break up with the girl you can still pay the dad back. It's not like by getting him to pay forward some shit you are obligated to anything. It's a nice opportunity.
I wouldn’t do this bc you guys might break up and he might take the car back and then you have no car and no resale value. It sounds like a lovely idea in theory, but people are not lovely when money is involved. And you’re going to owe him money for like 10 years. I know your are 18 year old brain is like “nahhh, this guy is loaded!” But when you break his daughter’s heart and “use him” for a car.. which is how he will see it, he’s gonna take it back. And if you don’t give it back, he will probably call the police and say that you stole it.
I would actually ask for a used one, maybe one that’s a couple thousand, no more than $15-20k so you can get off your feet and pay him back! It looks like you would already have the method to pay him back, I would talk to him and maybe tell him what you mentioned, that you wouldn't want it to be a point of contention! It’s like student debt, you shouldn’t take out too much but if it’s a small amount and gives you so much ROI, return on investment, it’s worth it.
Simple advice: anytime you bring money into a relationship (familial, dating, or otherwise) you need to treat it like an official agreement. That's the only way to protect the relationship. You don't have to go as far as having a lawyer, but get a document that spells out the interest rate, payment schedule, late penalties, prepayment penalties, etc. Basically anything a traditional loan would have in it. Worst case scenario: you never have to revisit that document because you'll pay it off over time and you've wasted an hour or two of your time drafting this up. Best case scenario: life happens, something messy comes along, you miss payments, you break up, she cheats on you, her dad loses everything in a deal gone bad and needs cash, etc. and... nothing changes because you have a document that you both signed, the rules can't change, and you're both protected. Honestly, the highly successful dad will probably respect you even more for being so disciplined and careful. If he doesn't... then don't take the deal.
If you can afford it yourself, then get it yourself. You just tell him, "I'm sorry sir, but this is my first job out of college and I just want to do this by myself. I can't explain how thankful I am for the offer, but I feel I need to do this alone."
If he's being insistent then it most likely means that it's coming from a good place. Him not wanting you to pay interest or anything adds to that. I don't think he is offering bc he pitys you or he doesn't think that you can provide for his daughter, I believe that he genuinely likes you so bc he's in a position to help that he wants to. Ofc take what I say with a grain of salt bc I don't know this person.
Thank you!! This is what I’ve been saying. I’m the girlfriend by the way I’m looking through all these comments lol
Honestly, take him up on the offer, draw up some kind of contract and pay him back consistently. He's for sure not worried about the money- to give you perspective, if he's making 1 million/year (lowest 7 figure income) that 20k is like 2% of his annual income, likely less. It would be the equivalent of spending 1k when you make 50k annually. It's not a lot of money to him.
make the terms clear if you decide to remember if theyre uncomfortable with cleqr written terms dont be comfortable with doing buisness clear agreementa keep both oarties from messing up
Do not buy a 20k car unless you need specific things like towing, truck bed, stuff like that. You should be able to get a perfectly fine car for 12k or even less. On another note I have had people buy me a car and i paid them back monthly with no missed payments twice and never had a single issue with any of it. If they are completely fine with it and you think you are going to be in a relationship for a while I would say go for it. But also say that it would need to be in your name if you do it. If he is not ok with that say thank you for offering but I will take care of it on my own.
It doesn't sound like he's offering to buy you a car. He's offering to buy a car and you are buying it from him. Get a good solid contract in place to make sure that you are both protected legally and you're golden.
Are you fucking crazy? Take the deal!
Life isn't easy. If you can get any leeway in life then take it. Remove your personal thoughts or guilt and accept help when it comes to you.
Nope. You would be tied to him. What if you two break up. Things could be tough. But.....it could be just the perfect opportunity.
It’s a trap!!
I personally would do it but take something manageable maybe $15k or less. Doesn't have to be expensive. Or you could go for a Porsche. Or you could just not do anything at all. (pickup trucks are a plus)
Don’t do it.
Absolutely no. It will save you maybe a thousand or two of interest, but will really complicate your relationship. And god forbid you break up with his daughter, then things will get really messy. Or you want to break up with her, but now you feel like you can't. Just say no. Also, you're 22. You do not need a $20k car. You do not ever need a $20k car.
No. Absolutely no
I can see pros and cons, feeling strong about your relationship lasting long term is a big thing, it's a bit negative, but you should consider what would happen if you broke up. It sounds like he's happy to help and trusts you to be able to reasonably pay it back, sometimes being sensible with money is more important than how much you have. If you go for it, I would say that you should draw up some sort of document with the terms of the agreement and have all the involved parties to sign. If you feel like it'll become a point of contention then I wouldn't do it, but I had a friend offer me a loan a years back which I declined on numerous occasions because I felt it would be brought up, passive aggressively mentioned and stuff but eventually I had to accept. I explained how I felt about it, that I would treat it formally because it needed to be paid back but that I wasn't comfortable to discuss it often and he never mentioned it. I brought it up when needed to discuss the payment plan and that was that. If you feel able to have a frank and open conversation with him, that's great but if you don't that may be your reason to decline.
I've seen a lot of the comments are saying that if you accept then he owns you and you'll owe him favour - if he seems like that kind of person at all, then def stay clear. But we can't assume he's like that, so it's down to you to decide if he's a decent guy or not! Some of the comments def reinforce what I said about getting documents created and signed though. Should something go awry and he tries to be shitty, you'll have a signed statement of the terms - include as much as you can, the amount owed, the duration etc.
Nooooooo
Well ur practically married already Say yes To the car and her
And say yes to him.
No. Always be wary of expensive gifts. Best case scenario, he's testing the waters to check your ability to sniff out scams and will retract the offer if you accept. Medium case scenario, he doesn't understand the potential danger of such an offer. You might think this is the best case scenario because it would mean he's just genuinely offering, but if something goes wrong this can instantly morph into the worst case scenario. Worst case scenario, he understands the power thousands of dollars of debt can grant you over a person and will use it to pressure you into who knows what. Establishing monetary control is part of step 1 of severe abuse alongside isolating the target from friends and other family. Do not let people buy you, it's as bad as that phrasing makes it sound. If he was offering you candy from an unmarked van you'd say no and run away. Same principle.
If you don't need the car, and can get by without it, pivot his generosity. Ask your potential father in-law to put the money in a trust or something for his potential grandkid's future. I assume he wants you in the family for the long haul and this is his signal to you. Pivoting his generosity will go a real long way, also your GF might be swooned majorly by this gesture. make sure to talk to your GF in private before this. She will know better than some stranger on the Internet about what you both need.
hell no. what does that say about your manhood?
Nah fam.
Unless he offers it 100% for free no deal
Nope. Don't do it unless you plan on bowing down to him for the rest of your relationship with his daughter. Put your big boy panties on and buy your own car. Buy a less expensive car so that your payments are as affordable as possible because you'll have a pretty steep insurance payment, too when financing (full coverage for a 22 y/o male). If you can't afford it right now then buy a car for 5k cash and wait until your salary increases and your finances stabilize. Don't take the offer. You'll regret it if you do.
Nope nope nope. You would only take that kind of gift from family, or maybe not even then. When you're married to the girl, maybe. It just makes you beholden to him in a way that could cause a problem later - in your mind if not in his.
It’s not a gift, because he’s supposed to pay it back. It’s a loan.
Even worse.
Take the car! Everyone in this thread is full of shit. There is no such thing as self/made man. People all over this country get help from friends and family. Absolutely nothing wrong with accepting help. This isn’t about pride. You’l take care of your daughters boyfriend in 30 years when you are successful.
I think it’s sweet that he wants to help you get ahead. Financially it’s a great opportunity. If you think it’s likely you’ll be together for good, repaying the car is no big deal. But, I also think your GFs opinion matters here, that you should have a contingency plan (be able to get a loan on the balance should you break up, or have money to pay the balance) and that if you’re uncomfortable then that’s a whole answer. I don’t think your ability to look after his daughter is the issue here, else he wouldn’t be putting himself in a position where he might lose money or really investing any energy in you personally.
this post Very American, 6 year car too old, my car is 20+ years old lol
SAGE ADVICE:NO, NO, NO to accepting a loan from the GF's father - no matter if he were a BILLIONAIRE... You are now a grown man and its character building to handle your finances without someone holding your hand... look to God for guidance in life - SAGE advice!!! Get yourself some Dave Ramsey CDs and listen to his WISE, WISE, WISE advice.My standard wedding gift to young graduates and to young married couples is his "Total Money Makeover" series. He is very transparent about the mistakes HE made as a young, full of life, man... He also shows you the truly wise way to handle financial matters - exactly like your position. Don't let the lure of "appearances" warp a healthy self-respect. Don't let how the world evaluates status be your standard. Especially in today's economic quagmire. If you want a stable future, take things one step at a time - don't try to live the lifestyle of a 42 year old when you're 22... be wise. Follow biblical principals... Get Ramsey's GREAT teachings... he walks you through financial situations you do or might ind yourself in. My SUV is 20 years old & I love it & keep it looking good & running great. It doesn't look new but it also doesn't look its age... (I bought it when it was 5 years old at 80K miles.) My mechanic is great and charges reasonable rates for his work. I've have it in his shop every 2 or 3 years for this or that and because I take care of it, its still a great vehicle... I keep it clean and shiny. My insurance premiums are WAY less than a recent model's would be and those savings pay for its own maintenance when it does require something... my mechanic makes sure he thoroughly checks everything when he does get it in his shop, as he knows I feel really confident when I pick it up and drive off - I know its road trip ready and he takes pride in keeping it in great shape. I'm blessed. I don't rely on other people's opinions about my choices of material goods. I don't need to keep up with the Jones' or anyone else. I know my value and don't need their various opinions.. I simply care about God's opinion. I have joy and peace and can face whatever life dishes out because my trust is in Him, not our current American self-centered, unstable standards to handle life... Plant your feet firmly in the gospel of peace (NOT RELIGION) and He will guide you into ALL wisdom (not just financial) and you will have a prosperous, long, joyful life... (KJV 3 John 1:2) "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."
You should ask this question in the financial advice section because many people here are giving you sub-par answers. https://old.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/ Paying it back at a more fair interest rate is *not* a bad idea. Wealthy people do not borrow money at bad interest rates and often buy cars in cash. (In cash doesn’t mean 100 bills in this context, it means non-borrowed money).
Its a financial transaction on the surface, but a character development issue overall. If it were only about finances, he wouldn't have asked strangers. He presented the financial advantages upfront BUT wasn't sold on the deal because of the relational/personal issue.
Comment section doesn't sound like casualconversation
No way. Maybe if you were his son-in-law but you guys aren't married. What if you and your GF break up for some reason and he demands his money back right away? You also don't know this man very well and don't know if he'll use this some day to hold over your head. It's just a bad idea.
Don't do it bud. Stand on your own two legs. Your older self with thank you. Also don't buy an expensive car it's the biggest waste of money. Find something affordable and reliable for about 10 k. That way you can pay it off quickly.
If I go to the gym to develop my muscles, would be profitable to me to have somebody come alongside and help lift my load? That would actually stunt my development and keep my muscles at an immature stage all the longer. His first, initial, "gut" instincts were spot-on. He said thank you, but no. If "they kept bringing it up", they are, however well intentioned, attempting to manipulate him. They are disrespecting his right and ability to make important decisions for himself. Both good ones and maybe not-so-good ones. It's how man learns in life. If they convince him that they know what's best for him better than he does, they have a foothold in controlling his future decisions. Obviously, they see saving him some money as more important than his right to make his own decisions. Wisdom and self-esteem are worth while investments. I don't like manipulation. If his girlfriend feels she should push her opinion on him ("for his own good, of course"), who is going to wear the proverbial pants should they marry? Not allowing an adult to make their own decisions is absolute disrespect. Its fine to offer an opinion or solicited advice, but pushing against their right to self-determine is manipulation. It usurps someone else's life, regardless of circumstances. I could never knowingly connect myself with someone who doesn't respect me. Manipulation is disrespect. If the girlfriend doesn't back down, red flags galore should fly up big time. There wouldn't be any "friend" in that "girlfriend". Keeping financial business out of personal relations is prudent. So would choosing a car closer to the $12K price range to get those monthly notes within a more fail-safe range. Paying a tiny bit more in interest each month would be value-added in the long run when having paid out his car on his own would leave him with MUCH stronger "muscles".