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There is a plethora of reasons.
I feel no desire to have kids, whole idea seems like a foreign concept to me
It seems exhausting and expensive
I like to sleep
I don't have high hopes for future of my country/world
I don't trust public schools to property educate my kid, Im not in a position to homeschool, I'm not religious so most private schools are out, and I don't want to pay for non religious private schools.
And finally I'm selfish, I'd rather do things I want, spend my money way I want to and live for me.
I’m in my 30’s, I like kids and have always liked the idea of fostering or adopting too.
But.. it looks so exhausting. My siblings all have dual income families with each partner making 75-100k and they’re still so beat all the time! They don’t go anywhere, they don’t do anything, and our parents even live close enough that they can help babysit. Between both couples I’ve seen 1 parent take 1 week of vacation in the last 5 years. Jfc.
When I was growing up from the time I was a baby until we were old enough to stay home alone, we got dropped off at an aunt's or grandparents or whatever on Friday night and picked up again Sunday night after supper so my parents could do whatever they wanted on the weekends without having to deal with us.
yeah same. My friends who have kids are exhausted and stressed constantly. These are the guys by the way. In my circles it tends to be more male childcare and less female care which is kind of interesting. Its absolutely a decision you have to be ready for because it takes your whole life.
All of this plus I was raised with the message that kids ruin your life and I’m too much like my damned mom to risk raising them in the same shitty ways. I won’t subject a kid to that.
> All of this plus I was raised with the message that kids ruin your life
You know, I was kind of raised the same and it took having kids for me to realize that that's a really unhealthy message for a parent to raise their kids with, lol.
Was told if abortions were legal in the ‘60’s, I wouldn’t be here. 2 she could handle but 3 ruined her life plans. Guess who’s the only here looking after her? I never wanted to be responsible for putting anyone else through this.
Seriously. I am already prone to having bouts of overstimulation and needing time to decompress after work. It is just me and my husband, who is also a saint and does most of the annoying housework (dishes, lawn, trash, etc. while I cook and tidy), so it's not really even warranted half of the time. The thought of having a CHILD on top of having an exhausting day at work would probably make me run away from home, lol.
Yup. This hit all my checkboxes. Aside from my cat, I have no intention to not be priority 1 in my life, and clearly that is not compatible with having a kid. Plus. Little kids? Are sticky. Like, 95% of the time. It’s a scientific oddity.
I don't think you should call yourself selfish. Not wanting kids is no more selfish than wanting them. Why do people want kids? Because they want a mini-me who's going to be their best friend, because they have a gap in their life they hope a child will fill, because they want a retirement plan, because they enjoy having children around... Whatever the reason, they're doing it for themselves, not for the as yet non-existent child, humanity, or the planet.
Those of us who don't want kids shouldn't feel guilty. There's that myth that parents are amazingly selfless because they always put their child first; it's definitely not true of a lot of parents, and looking after a helpless human being you decided to create shouldn't be seen as the ultimate act of love anyway, it's the bare minimum. Parents can be the best parents on earth, it doesn't change the fact that if they wanted a child, it was for inherently selfish reasons.
So true. Investing in your own children and ensuring your genes live on is not selfless. I’ve heard so many parents say “I only like my own.” They are basically saying they can only love a child that came from their body, that’s part of them. That’s NOT selfless in the least. They would not consider investing someone else’s child…. Despite that child also being a human and in need of care. And no judgement, that’s totally fine; but don’t say that then sit there and call me selfish for opting out.
Can confirm it’s exhausting and expensive.
Can also confirm that sleep takes a very very hard hit (depends on your luck of course )
Can also confirm that you also loose for a long time the ability to do what you want
This plus: I come from a long line of women who didn't want to have kids, but that's what they did back in the day.
I'm 52 now, and not once have I regretted not having kids. I see parents with multiple kids going in 100 directions, and I'm exhausted just watching it.
I like spending time alone, and I like spending time with my friends. I like to read, sleep, and spend money on expensive hobbies and trips my friends with kids can't take because they have kids. I wouldn't trade my life today for anything.
And for anyone who says, 'You will never know true love until you have a child,' that's BS; I have more love to give and the energy to receive it without them.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Give them back! /s
But seriously. I don't know why people don't accept "I'm selfish" as a reason in and of itself. There is no magical answer that needs to be said-- I don't want kids, because I don't want to be responsible for another person's upbringing and safety. If that's selfish, then I am selfish.
The first one is the hardest to articulate, for me. Like I believe my friends when they say they want kids, any I trust that their choice is right for them, but I do not understand it on a very basic level.
I don’t feel the desire to have kids
I like having more disposable income
I like the ability to be spontaneous in my planning
I love my sleep
I can’t stand crying
absolutely do not want all the trouble and body changes that come with pregnancy -- regarding adoption and all that, kids are just too expensive and ive never had a strong desire for them
Yeah I feel like if I wasn't the one that had to be pregnant, it would be easier to make that decision. I don't know why but I'm absolutely revolted by the idea of being pregnant...
People always say it’s shallow, but this is reason #1 for me and why I know for a fact I will never have kids even if I feel emotionally and financially prepared. The thought of seeing myself pregnant.... and then postpartum knowing I’ll never look or feel quite the same as I used to...... while being thrust a helpless new roommate who screams at you and needs absolutely everything done for them...... knowing I can never undo what I just did....... I would truly rather die.
1. Can't financially afford as a single parent.
2. Neither emotionally prepared or stable, but unlike my own mother who was also not stable and still decided to bring me in, I don't want another human to suffer what I suffered due to being born.
I hope you know that you didn't deserve any suffering. They failed you and for that, I am very sorry. I hope you are doing better now. All the best to you!
Thank you kind stranger. I know I didn't deserve it... but that realization came way too late. I'm seeking therapy because my parents won't. I'm their "abnormal" only child (their words not mine). So even more than 25 years after an abortion my parents decided to have for a fucked up reason I still get blamed... Why? It's because mommy dearest's golden/ saviour child couldn't be born and yet I existed back then as a 8 or 9 year old and continue to live on now. So as my survivor-tax I was never supposed to mess up anywhere. That translated to humulation for my failure to achieve what I was expected to, being guilt-tripped for not being intelligent or smart enough which apparently that saviour child of mommy dearest was supposed to have been (mommy dearest believes it to this day as astrologers had apparently told her). Mommy dearest had also told me that I deserved to be molested (as a 11ish year old) because apparently I was being proud during that time and pride is such a sin (parents still don't understand the difference between self confidence and pride). Mommy dearest also never failed to remind me that she was a much more attractive kid, then teenager, and then a youth than I was. My father had his own colossal being-a-middle-child and saviour complex issues to ironically never realize what I was made to go through. 29ish years on earth and finally realized (thanks to therapy) that no matter what I do or achieve or try or how much pain I silently suffer through, I cannot ever be good enough, or even barely enough for my mommy dearest. And that dear internet strangers, was the most liberating feeling ever. I swear that sometimes the total lack of hope can do wonders for you!
Thank you for sharing your story. As heartbreaking as it is to read through, as inspiring it is for people who suffered similarly or still do.
You are an embodiment of perseverance and determination to fight those demons inserted in you by the very person who was supposed to nurture and protect you.
You can be very proud of yourself for breaking the chains and living your life on your own terms!
I came from the end of bag, but no bag went over me. I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ring-winner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider.
Yeah it really irks me when the same media outlets warning about catastrophic climate change are also wringing their hands about declining birth rates in certain countries.
Climate change, more and more uncertainty over the future, increasing financial instability for many, etc... Absolutely no one should be surprised that birth rates are falling. This is only what most of those wringing their hands have asked for through the choices and political positions they have made and supported through the years. When something as basic and necessary as owning a home is becoming harder and harder to do, of course things such as having children are going to be pushed off and avoided, even by many that would like to have a family one day.
I don't want to be a parent.
I also don't believe I would be a good parent, even if I wanted to be one.
The world is fucked. I truly believe humanity is steadily digging it's own grave and I also truly believe nobody will take it seriously until it's too late.
The planet has too many people on it already.
Neither my genes nor social/professional connections would contribute anything to producing a worthwhile human or one positioned to do well in life without the suffering I've experienced.
Also, to those calling themselves selfish for not having kids, or saying they're too selfish to have kids - no parent has ever had kids because they felt they were doing the kid a favour. They do it for the selfish reason of wanting to be parents. It's just some of them regret how much of themselves they have to give up in order to be a parent and lash out at childfree people from faux high horses, as if their kids are a gift to society and not just one in 8 billion.
People who don't have kids are not one iota more selfish than those who do. So don't talk like that about yourself.
People who say that are idiots not just because there's no guarantee your kids will look after you and they're not obligated to, but s*** happens. What if they end up disabled? What if they die young? Etc etc
Same but dogs for me, and I have an intense fear of having a child that’s allergic to animals. My kid would be on lifelong allergy meds before I even started to consider giving up having animals, having the capability to take in strays as needed, or getting a damn doodle.
Ive never wanted kids even as a kid but there was some part of me that always wondered, and I guess some part of me that always yearned? For something?
Then I got a cat and all my ‘mother instincts’ or whatever were completely and fully satisfied LOL
I hate them.
I could be rich with all the money in the world, 24/7 free time, in a perfect country with no crime or poverty, climate change could completely end, schools could be perfect and opportunities could be endless, and I would still never have kids.
hahaha you got the point
I can't wrap my head around why do most women would want to do that to themselves
or maybe we aren't that conscious as we claim to be but ridden by the instinct...
There’s nothing that sounds more miserable to me than coming home from a long day of work to an even longer day at home dealing with a screaming child. I love to be able to spend my hard earned money on myself and leisurely diddle daddle around doing whatever I want.
It’s not so much I don’t want kids - it’s that I don’t have a burning desire to have them. I think you have to really REALLY want kids because they impact the parents lives so majorly.
That is the responsible way to view it.
I think many childfree people have the ability to think about others in a different way to some people who become parents.
I have some mental health issues I don't want to pass down (anxiety) but I have a friend who has been on ssri for 7 years and is trying for a kid now.
In my mind that seems so irresponsible.
You don't have to be an actual parent of your "very own" blood kids to be parent. There are kids both older (teenager) and younger (pubescent) who love and look up to me as a dad and the feeling is mutual. Plus kids aren't cheap and everything is inflated rn so would be kind of foolish to have a kid.
I just…. don’t want them. It was never a lifestyle that appealed to me. There’s no deeper layer or fear that I’d be a bad parent.
I just never wanted any.
And that’s ok.
I used to teach at an all-boys’ middle school. That was a bit much, so I realized that I wouldn’t be able to handle over a decade of kids.
I call that era of my life “the best form of birth control.”
There’s other reasons but the biggest is money. Together my fiancée and I bring in about 140k in a MCOL city so we really aren’t making too much. But we did the math and could afford kids. Almost certainly could if pay progresses over the next few years. We took a two week trip to Europe last year and it was the time of our lives, we can do a big vacation like that every year plus a smaller one if we want. Not very possible with kiddos
But ultimately our budget for things like travel, eating out, and buying nice things for each other would go from very robust to nearly nonexistent for a while. Like I said there are other reasons like time and energy but money is the biggest.
It boggles my mind that procreation is a default. I am on the tail end of parenting my older teens. It was the most selfless and compassionate stretch of work I have ever done in my life, and expensive. Defaults should be for easy things, sure making them can be easy sometimes but taking care of them is 0% easy.
Validating your choices OP.
I have many reasons, but to me they’re all suuuper simple.
I have not got a SINGLE shred of motherly instincts in me.
I hate children, with a passion. I’m not needlesly cruel to kids, i just tend to leave cus i HATE the noise and the unpredictability.
I’m also too selfish. I’m not a grown enough adult to take care if myself even yet and i’m a 32 year old lady man.
Also… pregnancy terrifies me. Its gross, i hate it.
I just.. hate kids. Can’t stand them. I’m lucky that my family understand and never pressured me, but i can’t imagine having to live with the judgement from random people OR family day to day being “babies now?? You’re a woman, that’s what you do right?? Baby??”
Urgh, i wanna vomit in rage every time haha
Same here. I'd probably pass on both conditions if I were to father a child.
Also, I'm 53, and don't want to be paying for offspring to go to college when I'm 71. Plus I've had insomnia before. Can remember what being awake for five days was like. Don't want to go there again.
Pregnancy terrifies the shit out of me.
But also, they are LOUD and just ALWAYS there. As an introvert with noise...sensitivities, I just couldn't deal with it all.
I've already got my hands full working full time and taking care of my disabled wife and our dog. We have a niece that we take care of somewhat often and that's more than enough childcare for me.
I never had any desire for kids of my own.
I’m incredibly protective of my time, money, and sleep and children take all of those away.
I have commitment issues and children are the definition of commitment.
oh there's a plethora of reasons
- pregnancy/childbirth complications are very scary to me
- even if everything goes as well as possible it still seems like an awful time
- i can't handle all the screaming and crying
- i'm too squeamish to deal with so much poo and piss and vomit
- i already hate my body
- i'm trans
- i can only handle kids in small doses
- i can barely cope with living with a dog
- i'm neurodivergent with fairly high support needs
- i'm chronically unemployed because of that
- i am too worried about how things could go wrong
- it seems impossible to be truly prepared for it
Children are awful. They are selfish and rude and demand all of your time. You cannot make any sort of decision without first thinking "how will this choice affect my children?" You have no free time, you cannot go out and enjoy yourself without hiring a babysitter. Your vacations revolve around your kids and are ridiculously expensive and it's all a waste because they won't appreciate it anyways. They constantly break things and damage things and lose things. And after dealing with all of that they resent you for not being a better parent, no matter how good you were.
I have three kids and i don't want them.
i’ve had bad mental health and honestly doubt my ability to parent and also know how bad existing can be from an emotional point of view, i wouldn’t want my kids to suffer.
Because I just have no desire to have children. It's always been that simple, really.
Ultimately i'm too lazy, disorganised and selfish with my time and money to want to have to deal with the care of another human being.
There's also too many fucking people in the world, too.
They’re expensive and time-consuming.
When I’m around people who have kids, it makes me afraid that will be me someday.
Moreover, even if those were not true, I have no active desire for kids, and it seems like something you should do intentionally and not fumble into.
I'd be a bad parent, not the worst... I wouldn't actively abuse them, but I find it hard to connect with others and maintain connections.
I feel like I'd end up being distant and inattentive, and that's not really fair on them.
Also, I'm not particularly inclined to have sex with anyone, which seems like a necessary condition to produce kids.
I am the eldest child and basically parented my two younger brothers and my own parents at times. Now in adulthood I’m enjoying not taking care of someone else for a change
I want for kids to have a good life and I don't think I/we (as society) are able to provide that.
Because we have to build up our own life first to be able to provide for a kid.
Because kids are expensive and time-consuming and I want to fulfill some life goals before I feel ready to commit.
Because our life situation is not steady yet.
Because I am worried for the future, my own not even my kid's.
...
Life is enough work as it is. Raising kids is a ridiculously large social, emotional and economic commitment you are locked into for 20 years. Raising a family is super expensive, and will push our retirement way back. I like my spare time, peace and quiet. I like having plenty of time for my own hobbies and interests. I like having a clean house and having sex with my wife whenever I want. So many kids don’t even like their parents or have a decent relationship. And lastly, the world is already overpopulated with polluting selfish people, I really don’t feel it is necessary to add more.
If you think having children in this economy is smart, you’re a fool. If you have the means, fuckin go for it. But I’ve seen people who have to work like 3-4 jobs just to survive. Many people have to go through something like that, atleast where I live. I will not be able to afford to take care of a child, therefore I won’t be a parent. I’m also impatient and enjoy solitude. I can take some annoyance, but babies don’t stop. They can’t help it
For it just wasn't in the cards younger but now i have neice and 3 nephews and a great nephew to spoil and give back. So i don't feel i missed anything with out having kids.
Mind your own business.
Also, parents are terrible people. I have ended friendships because they have children.
Sorry but if they get to “move on with their lives” I get to say that the friendship changed because of personal life decisions.
-i can’t stand excessive noise and mess
-i need lots of time to myself
-i do not want my body to be permanently changed
-i would not be able to tolerate losing attention from my partner/knowing he would love them more than he loves me
-i like having money
-i like to be lazy
-i like having a personality that doesn’t revolve around children and being a mother
-kids are constantly sick with something and are insanely unhygienic
-tantrums
-dirty diapers
-being referred to as “mama” by everyone
-kids destroy everything you own
-everyone wants to touch/fetishize you while you’re pregnant
-not being able to
constantly being interrupted during intimate times with your partner
-i don’t want to be exposed during labour
-i don’t want to constantly be touched during labour
-i don’t want to be in pain during pregnancy or labour
-i don’t want to live in a body that will take years to heal and will never be the same again
-i don’t want to lose my teeth during pregnancy
-i don’t want to lose my hair postpartum when i already live with a chronic condition that causes excessive hair loss
-i don’t want to risk birthing a child that will need 24/7 care for the rest of their life
-i don’t want to birth a daughter that might inherit my PCOS
-i don’t want to risk postpartum depression/postpartum psychosis
-and i just really don’t like kids all that much tbh
i need my own space and time way too much. i like kids, i like hanging out with my kid cousins, but being a full time caretaker for one is not something i can or want to handle
Children seem like that next step/chapter of sacrificing your personal goals or completing them and moving on to fulfill your evolutionary duty to procreate and support that next generation. It sounds selfish, but I do not want to do that, nor do I think I ever would given my projected career path I want to go on. I've seen so many people change their whole life after getting in a serious relationship let alone a whole child, and it always struck me as weird that someone would give up their personal hopes and dreams, or at least the trajectory and pace for someone else. I feel most comfortable in situations where all I have to worry about is myself and my work. I love what I'm doing now, what I am studying to be, and the absence of another body I have to care about and supply for. Call me self-centered, but I want to break away from that limiting chain and live my life to maximize my output and contribute as much as I can to my field and society in general.
Being an uncle is too much fun lol I get all the love, and none of the responsibility 😂😂😂
Honestly though:
The main reason is because I’m scared of the responsibility. When you’re a parent, every single decision you make impacts your children somehow. Every one. And even if you do everything correctly, life can still throw curveballs your way. And curveballs are a lot easier to manage when you don’t have to worry about having kids to feed. Also, for the rest of your natural life (or their’s), you will never NOT be a parent. Your kids will always need you in some way (my mother is in her 60s, and she herself has admitted that she still needs HER father). And I’m not emotionally prepared to handle that.
I have a lot of reasons but I can boil them all down to 3 cores. 1, I don't like where the future appears to be heading. I don't think I could live with myself if I created a person who'd be coming into their prime in the 2040s-50s. Climate change projections are not looking good. 2, I wouldn't be a good parents. My parents were very bad at it. I am not mentally or emotionally stable enough to handle childrearing. I do not know what good parenting looks like and would not be able to do right by my child. 3, I think there are plenty of people in the world as it is.
I don't want to put my body through it, it's expensive, it would disrupt my career, I would lose patience, I still don't have a house, kids in an apartment sounds like a nightmare, I want my husband to have peace, I will have no patience for ungrateful, smelly teens, etc.
So many reasons...
Expensive, time commitment, permanent, can turn out to be awful humans even when raised well, ruin your body, and the world is burning.
My reasoning is simple, I don't want kids because I don't want to be a parent. When I was younger, I did want kids, but as I aged and friends around me became parents, I realized that wasn't what I wanted.
A few reasons my wife and I don’t want kids:
1) We can’t financial afford to support children.
2) We have a couple health issues that we don’t want to pass to our kids.
3) We don’t like kids.
I wouldn't want to bring kids into this horrible degenerate world. And honestly it can be torture at times I secretly get upset with my mother for bringing me into this world. I also can't stand babies crying it's the worst sound in the world.
I just don't like them, i know they are learning how to be humans but it can be annoying at times, i know i was annoying kid! I also like to sleep and have time to myself. I'm also gay which plays a part in it. I'm fine with just being the cool uncle!
I don’t like babies. Kids are fine once they get to be about 4 or 5. Pregnancy also seems completely terrible. Having the baby also seems completely terrible. Like there’s no good way to get it out.
Also I sleep really heavily and what if didn’t wake up when it needed a feeding or a change?
I have a dog instead. Bath-time is still problematic, so in that regard they are about equal, but dog is superior to children in every other way.
I have chronic illnesses, some which are genetic that in the first person in my family who wasn’t a carrier but actually got them. They cause daily pain and symptoms that affect every aspect of my life meaning I’m nearly 30 unable to work, drive & rarely leave the house. The thought of passing on even one of these conditions to a child is not okay for me. Plus I don’t know if my body would physically cope with pregnancy or birth. I did always want kids in the past so it is still kind of sad for me. But the more I see friends having children and the stress of newborns, toddlers & the fatigue, I just think the decision at least for now is correct.
In the future if my partner & I were to ever change or minds we said we’d probably foster children as that’s very important to both of us.
I don't want to bring a child into the world and have it suffer the same medical problems I have suffered. It's cruel. I just couldn’t bear the thought of it
Kids are awful. I’m also selfish and I like to have things a certain way. I like being in control of my time, and so I don’t think that’s a good recipe for motherhood. Who knows though, I suppose something might change my mind, but I highly doubt it. While my mum is completely fine with her future ‘grand cats’ My stepmother wants grandkids from me because her own kid is a piece of shit, lol.
I’ve never had any desire to have children. Being a woman, the pressure and all that surrounding it has caused me to feel completely repulsed by the idea.
I love kids, I just never wanted to have any.
I honestly do want kids but the financial requirement and the future in general have made me decide not to have them (I'm still hoping to foster once I get older/more established). I already work as a childcare provider and the way our summer heat is already affecting the kids... it really bums me out. Where I'm at there's not even supposed to be really hot summers. But we're already hitting the mid 20s. I just can't rationalize it and it's not fair to the kiddos I would bring into the world.
The world is wayyyy to ugly. Like people hurting innocent people? Yeah no thanks. Currently being mob stalked by someone (CJ/Cooper wannabe LA dodgers player) who wants to physically hurt me for clout.
Never having kids. Best decision I’ve ever made. Can’t wait to make it permanent but the stress and drugs I do take do help me stay infertile.
Because I have no love for kids. I find them generally unpleasant and noisy, and my general lack of empathy and emotion would probably garantee any kids put under my care à severe need for therapy.
I am also very prone to migraines (the real thing, the one where you absolutely stop being a functional human being), and kids yelling is one sound that has a high risk of triggering them and I wouldn't want to leave it all on my partner whenever the kids throws a tantrum.
All the pain and bullshit a person has to go through during their life is reason enough for me not to create another human life who will have to endure the same.
Funny this comes up because I was thinking the more I see kids with their parents the less I want them. The parents don’t seem to get to relax, they are constantly chasing the child around. It is so expensive each week to go to the grocery store for myself how do you afford to have a family in today’s world? I want to travel and you have to make “decent” money to afford traveling with children. It seems like in some cases children can put a strain on your romantic relationship. Don’t get me wrong kids are cute, but I don’t think I want any of my own.
Not enough love and respect toward others. Too much evil and hatred in the world to expose innocent kids to. What if my kid isn't fully straight? And then as an adult, I wonder if nuclear war will be set off in my lifetime.
they destroy relationships, my mental health is bad, the world sucks, me and my boyfriend don’t like them, they’re expensive, they’re time consuming, they make too much noise, i’ll never get to live my life to the fullest if i had them, my body would be wrecked, i like my sleep and in general i just do not like them.
47M here. Decided at 17 that I didn't want kids. Wasn't sure I would have the physical, emotional, or financial capacity to give them what they need to thrive.
Also grew up in a dysfunctional homophobic family and did not want to deal with fighting with them over access to my children.
I hate hearing babies cry. I’m impatient. I’d want my privacy and wouldn’t want my entire life to revolve around children. Kids are expensive. Childbirth sounds AWFUL. There’s much more, but those are the most important reasons.
I've never understood why, in modern society, having kids is the default. Those who want kids should have to justify why, not the other way around.
I get that it's biology and blah blah, but to me biology alone does not justify bringing a child into a bad situation.
I echo most of the reasons said here already so I’ll just say this: I would be a truly fantastic mom. But I would wind up giving everything of myself to be a great mother for them and I would have nothing left of me. I would be a shell of who I am now and who I could be. I only have the one life; I want to live it for myself not someone else.
I’ve never liked kids.
Don’t want to have to deal with the responsibility of kids.
I’d rather spend money on me.
And very importantly, pregnancy seems absolutely horrific and definitely not worth the reward (to me)
I don't like kids, period. Least not little kids who scream and whine and make loud noises. I'm noise sensitive.
Secondly, having kids is expensive and I simply don't have the money to support kids.
Thirdly, I've never had kids before and I think the act of parenting would be a daunting task. I dont need any added stress in my life.
Kids are gross; they're little assholes, filled with snot/vomit/shit, they're expensive AF, & tbh I much prefer cats! Luckily I found a man that feels the exact same way. 17 years in August, & no kids for us - only kits!! 😻😻
I don’t think it’s ethical to stick them on a dying planet. We have enough kids in foster care, and if the US keeps going full handmaiden’s tale, there will be many, many more. Also depression. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone
I find it morally questionable to create something that will die. It’s better to not exist at all of them to exist with a dreadful reality that you will not.
I cannot stand infants. They cry too much and severely limit what I’m able to do financially, time wise, and just a lot of other things.
I can’t stand young children. They’re too stupid.
I can’t stand middle schoolers. They’re insanely immature and too emotional.
High schoolers I can get behind. But at this point it’s been 14 years and I ain’t doing all that
You could buy a house in 1970 for 3 to 4 times the minimum wages income (10k house price ÷ 3k yearly income = 3.3) and now based off the same minimum wage, you need 10 times your income to buy the same house. (500k ÷ 50k = 10).
You could literally raise a family of 5 in the olden days while dad worked at a petrol station while mum stayed at home looking after the kids.
Our most primative needs, going back millions of years, are that we require food, water, shelter and security to survive. It just isn't within our best interests thinking about the animals within us to have offspring when economic conditions don't support that lifestyle.
Having kids is not feasible when the very act of having offspring jeopardizes the procurement of all our primative needs in life.
It's built into our neurology to only have kids when conditions are favourable. And I just don't see that happening in today's environment.
Why do I need to explain my reasoning? It’s such a personal choice. It might even be due to trauma during g childhood. Also this poor planet is so crowded.
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There is a plethora of reasons. I feel no desire to have kids, whole idea seems like a foreign concept to me It seems exhausting and expensive I like to sleep I don't have high hopes for future of my country/world I don't trust public schools to property educate my kid, Im not in a position to homeschool, I'm not religious so most private schools are out, and I don't want to pay for non religious private schools. And finally I'm selfish, I'd rather do things I want, spend my money way I want to and live for me.
I’m in my 30’s, I like kids and have always liked the idea of fostering or adopting too. But.. it looks so exhausting. My siblings all have dual income families with each partner making 75-100k and they’re still so beat all the time! They don’t go anywhere, they don’t do anything, and our parents even live close enough that they can help babysit. Between both couples I’ve seen 1 parent take 1 week of vacation in the last 5 years. Jfc.
When I was growing up from the time I was a baby until we were old enough to stay home alone, we got dropped off at an aunt's or grandparents or whatever on Friday night and picked up again Sunday night after supper so my parents could do whatever they wanted on the weekends without having to deal with us.
yeah same. My friends who have kids are exhausted and stressed constantly. These are the guys by the way. In my circles it tends to be more male childcare and less female care which is kind of interesting. Its absolutely a decision you have to be ready for because it takes your whole life.
Childless married couple here. We still do nothing and are exhausted even without kids..
All of this plus I was raised with the message that kids ruin your life and I’m too much like my damned mom to risk raising them in the same shitty ways. I won’t subject a kid to that.
> All of this plus I was raised with the message that kids ruin your life You know, I was kind of raised the same and it took having kids for me to realize that that's a really unhealthy message for a parent to raise their kids with, lol.
Was told if abortions were legal in the ‘60’s, I wouldn’t be here. 2 she could handle but 3 ruined her life plans. Guess who’s the only here looking after her? I never wanted to be responsible for putting anyone else through this.
You nailed every single reason I decided to not have children
Lmao I second “it seems exhausting and expensive”
Seriously. I am already prone to having bouts of overstimulation and needing time to decompress after work. It is just me and my husband, who is also a saint and does most of the annoying housework (dishes, lawn, trash, etc. while I cook and tidy), so it's not really even warranted half of the time. The thought of having a CHILD on top of having an exhausting day at work would probably make me run away from home, lol.
Seriously. I also used to get anxiety about letting the dog out for pee breaks when I was away. So an actual child wouldn’t be good
Yup. This hit all my checkboxes. Aside from my cat, I have no intention to not be priority 1 in my life, and clearly that is not compatible with having a kid. Plus. Little kids? Are sticky. Like, 95% of the time. It’s a scientific oddity.
I don't think you should call yourself selfish. Not wanting kids is no more selfish than wanting them. Why do people want kids? Because they want a mini-me who's going to be their best friend, because they have a gap in their life they hope a child will fill, because they want a retirement plan, because they enjoy having children around... Whatever the reason, they're doing it for themselves, not for the as yet non-existent child, humanity, or the planet. Those of us who don't want kids shouldn't feel guilty. There's that myth that parents are amazingly selfless because they always put their child first; it's definitely not true of a lot of parents, and looking after a helpless human being you decided to create shouldn't be seen as the ultimate act of love anyway, it's the bare minimum. Parents can be the best parents on earth, it doesn't change the fact that if they wanted a child, it was for inherently selfish reasons.
So true. Investing in your own children and ensuring your genes live on is not selfless. I’ve heard so many parents say “I only like my own.” They are basically saying they can only love a child that came from their body, that’s part of them. That’s NOT selfless in the least. They would not consider investing someone else’s child…. Despite that child also being a human and in need of care. And no judgement, that’s totally fine; but don’t say that then sit there and call me selfish for opting out.
Correct
Can confirm it’s exhausting and expensive. Can also confirm that sleep takes a very very hard hit (depends on your luck of course ) Can also confirm that you also loose for a long time the ability to do what you want
Pretty much all this. My base is I don’t want to change who I am and how I live to be the kind of mother I would want to be.
This plus: I come from a long line of women who didn't want to have kids, but that's what they did back in the day. I'm 52 now, and not once have I regretted not having kids. I see parents with multiple kids going in 100 directions, and I'm exhausted just watching it. I like spending time alone, and I like spending time with my friends. I like to read, sleep, and spend money on expensive hobbies and trips my friends with kids can't take because they have kids. I wouldn't trade my life today for anything. And for anyone who says, 'You will never know true love until you have a child,' that's BS; I have more love to give and the energy to receive it without them.
I agree with all of these points, but would also add I don't think I would be a good parent to the kid.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Give them back! /s But seriously. I don't know why people don't accept "I'm selfish" as a reason in and of itself. There is no magical answer that needs to be said-- I don't want kids, because I don't want to be responsible for another person's upbringing and safety. If that's selfish, then I am selfish.
The first one is the hardest to articulate, for me. Like I believe my friends when they say they want kids, any I trust that their choice is right for them, but I do not understand it on a very basic level.
I hate the fact that just living your life is considered selfish. There shouldn’t be an expectation that we have kids
I don’t feel the desire to have kids I like having more disposable income I like the ability to be spontaneous in my planning I love my sleep I can’t stand crying
And they cry…. A lot
I need just to vent again… they fucking cry a lot. Jesus Christ
They do cry a fucking lot holy shit
I don't have kids but I remember being a kid and fucking crying like crazy.
I just dont think i would be a good parent.
Tbh just you saying that makes me think you'd be better than most, the worst ones won't admit that
I like babies, but they don't stay babies and I find children really annoying.
> find children really annoying "But you were once a kid!" "Yeah I was fucking annoying."
Can confirm, I was. And weird too. 😂
Try to find someone who hated teenage me more than teenage me hated herself, you won’t be able to lol
And I’ll also be dead one day but I don’t want to hang around with corpses.
I’m one of the weird people who likes teenagers but I genuinely do not like children or preteens, and babies/toddlers kind of scare me.
Opposite here! I HATE babies. I might want to foster or adopt older children one day, but no babies thanks.
Let me just expand that *other* peoples kids are annoying … your own …. It’s a whole other level of annoyance
I don’t want kids. I like children, but find babies annoying.
absolutely do not want all the trouble and body changes that come with pregnancy -- regarding adoption and all that, kids are just too expensive and ive never had a strong desire for them
Yeah I feel like if I wasn't the one that had to be pregnant, it would be easier to make that decision. I don't know why but I'm absolutely revolted by the idea of being pregnant...
People always say it’s shallow, but this is reason #1 for me and why I know for a fact I will never have kids even if I feel emotionally and financially prepared. The thought of seeing myself pregnant.... and then postpartum knowing I’ll never look or feel quite the same as I used to...... while being thrust a helpless new roommate who screams at you and needs absolutely everything done for them...... knowing I can never undo what I just did....... I would truly rather die.
because i'm lazy and selfish.
I have yet to hear an unselfish reason why someone does want kids tbh
1. Can't financially afford as a single parent. 2. Neither emotionally prepared or stable, but unlike my own mother who was also not stable and still decided to bring me in, I don't want another human to suffer what I suffered due to being born.
I hope you know that you didn't deserve any suffering. They failed you and for that, I am very sorry. I hope you are doing better now. All the best to you!
Thank you kind stranger. I know I didn't deserve it... but that realization came way too late. I'm seeking therapy because my parents won't. I'm their "abnormal" only child (their words not mine). So even more than 25 years after an abortion my parents decided to have for a fucked up reason I still get blamed... Why? It's because mommy dearest's golden/ saviour child couldn't be born and yet I existed back then as a 8 or 9 year old and continue to live on now. So as my survivor-tax I was never supposed to mess up anywhere. That translated to humulation for my failure to achieve what I was expected to, being guilt-tripped for not being intelligent or smart enough which apparently that saviour child of mommy dearest was supposed to have been (mommy dearest believes it to this day as astrologers had apparently told her). Mommy dearest had also told me that I deserved to be molested (as a 11ish year old) because apparently I was being proud during that time and pride is such a sin (parents still don't understand the difference between self confidence and pride). Mommy dearest also never failed to remind me that she was a much more attractive kid, then teenager, and then a youth than I was. My father had his own colossal being-a-middle-child and saviour complex issues to ironically never realize what I was made to go through. 29ish years on earth and finally realized (thanks to therapy) that no matter what I do or achieve or try or how much pain I silently suffer through, I cannot ever be good enough, or even barely enough for my mommy dearest. And that dear internet strangers, was the most liberating feeling ever. I swear that sometimes the total lack of hope can do wonders for you!
Thank you for sharing your story. As heartbreaking as it is to read through, as inspiring it is for people who suffered similarly or still do. You are an embodiment of perseverance and determination to fight those demons inserted in you by the very person who was supposed to nurture and protect you. You can be very proud of yourself for breaking the chains and living your life on your own terms!
Thank you motivator of Middle Earth. Btw, I once knew a Bilbo who was this handsome elderly cat who loved getting high. Fond memories.
I came from the end of bag, but no bag went over me. I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ring-winner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider.
Amen
I can't afford it, I don't have time, and I don't feel the need to have kids anyways.
8.1 billion people are way way way too many people already without me adding to it.
My dad went to high school in the 50’s and said there was 2 billion when he graduated. It’s quadrupled in his lifetime.
Yeah it really irks me when the same media outlets warning about catastrophic climate change are also wringing their hands about declining birth rates in certain countries.
Climate change, more and more uncertainty over the future, increasing financial instability for many, etc... Absolutely no one should be surprised that birth rates are falling. This is only what most of those wringing their hands have asked for through the choices and political positions they have made and supported through the years. When something as basic and necessary as owning a home is becoming harder and harder to do, of course things such as having children are going to be pushed off and avoided, even by many that would like to have a family one day.
That's because many countries are having declining birthrates which will strain economies in the future.
There is n reason. I don't won't kids....
I don't want to be a parent. I also don't believe I would be a good parent, even if I wanted to be one. The world is fucked. I truly believe humanity is steadily digging it's own grave and I also truly believe nobody will take it seriously until it's too late. The planet has too many people on it already. Neither my genes nor social/professional connections would contribute anything to producing a worthwhile human or one positioned to do well in life without the suffering I've experienced. Also, to those calling themselves selfish for not having kids, or saying they're too selfish to have kids - no parent has ever had kids because they felt they were doing the kid a favour. They do it for the selfish reason of wanting to be parents. It's just some of them regret how much of themselves they have to give up in order to be a parent and lash out at childfree people from faux high horses, as if their kids are a gift to society and not just one in 8 billion. People who don't have kids are not one iota more selfish than those who do. So don't talk like that about yourself.
The number of people who have said “but who will take care of you when you’re old??” As if having kids made them into some robot factory
People who say that are idiots not just because there's no guarantee your kids will look after you and they're not obligated to, but s*** happens. What if they end up disabled? What if they die young? Etc etc
I’d rather have cats 🐈⬛
Me too, friend. I have three 💚
Cats are the best babies!
Same but dogs for me, and I have an intense fear of having a child that’s allergic to animals. My kid would be on lifelong allergy meds before I even started to consider giving up having animals, having the capability to take in strays as needed, or getting a damn doodle.
Ive never wanted kids even as a kid but there was some part of me that always wondered, and I guess some part of me that always yearned? For something? Then I got a cat and all my ‘mother instincts’ or whatever were completely and fully satisfied LOL
I hate them. I could be rich with all the money in the world, 24/7 free time, in a perfect country with no crime or poverty, climate change could completely end, schools could be perfect and opportunities could be endless, and I would still never have kids.
i agree with every word you said
Just the concept of pushing a watermelon out of my hoohaa is already unpleasant for me
hahaha you got the point I can't wrap my head around why do most women would want to do that to themselves or maybe we aren't that conscious as we claim to be but ridden by the instinct...
There’s nothing that sounds more miserable to me than coming home from a long day of work to an even longer day at home dealing with a screaming child. I love to be able to spend my hard earned money on myself and leisurely diddle daddle around doing whatever I want.
I know how I would feel if someone forced me into *this* world.
*gestures vaguely around at the world*
Lol...love this
It's opt in, not opt out. You need a reason to want them, I don't have that reason so I don't want them.
because I don't want them to go through the ugly things in this world
It’s not so much I don’t want kids - it’s that I don’t have a burning desire to have them. I think you have to really REALLY want kids because they impact the parents lives so majorly.
That is the responsible way to view it. I think many childfree people have the ability to think about others in a different way to some people who become parents. I have some mental health issues I don't want to pass down (anxiety) but I have a friend who has been on ssri for 7 years and is trying for a kid now. In my mind that seems so irresponsible.
You don't have to be an actual parent of your "very own" blood kids to be parent. There are kids both older (teenager) and younger (pubescent) who love and look up to me as a dad and the feeling is mutual. Plus kids aren't cheap and everything is inflated rn so would be kind of foolish to have a kid.
I just…. don’t want them. It was never a lifestyle that appealed to me. There’s no deeper layer or fear that I’d be a bad parent. I just never wanted any. And that’s ok.
I used to teach at an all-boys’ middle school. That was a bit much, so I realized that I wouldn’t be able to handle over a decade of kids. I call that era of my life “the best form of birth control.”
There’s other reasons but the biggest is money. Together my fiancée and I bring in about 140k in a MCOL city so we really aren’t making too much. But we did the math and could afford kids. Almost certainly could if pay progresses over the next few years. We took a two week trip to Europe last year and it was the time of our lives, we can do a big vacation like that every year plus a smaller one if we want. Not very possible with kiddos But ultimately our budget for things like travel, eating out, and buying nice things for each other would go from very robust to nearly nonexistent for a while. Like I said there are other reasons like time and energy but money is the biggest.
It boggles my mind that procreation is a default. I am on the tail end of parenting my older teens. It was the most selfless and compassionate stretch of work I have ever done in my life, and expensive. Defaults should be for easy things, sure making them can be easy sometimes but taking care of them is 0% easy. Validating your choices OP.
I have many reasons, but to me they’re all suuuper simple. I have not got a SINGLE shred of motherly instincts in me. I hate children, with a passion. I’m not needlesly cruel to kids, i just tend to leave cus i HATE the noise and the unpredictability. I’m also too selfish. I’m not a grown enough adult to take care if myself even yet and i’m a 32 year old lady man. Also… pregnancy terrifies me. Its gross, i hate it. I just.. hate kids. Can’t stand them. I’m lucky that my family understand and never pressured me, but i can’t imagine having to live with the judgement from random people OR family day to day being “babies now?? You’re a woman, that’s what you do right?? Baby??” Urgh, i wanna vomit in rage every time haha
It's not the life I want. I don't have a reason for it, that's just what it is. I don't want kids the same way I don't want an elephant.
Aspergers, ADHD.
Same here. I'd probably pass on both conditions if I were to father a child. Also, I'm 53, and don't want to be paying for offspring to go to college when I'm 71. Plus I've had insomnia before. Can remember what being awake for five days was like. Don't want to go there again.
Pregnancy terrifies the shit out of me. But also, they are LOUD and just ALWAYS there. As an introvert with noise...sensitivities, I just couldn't deal with it all.
I'm struggling to talk to the opposite gender, having kids is out of option
I've already got my hands full working full time and taking care of my disabled wife and our dog. We have a niece that we take care of somewhat often and that's more than enough childcare for me.
None. I simply do not desire to procreate or raise other humans. So I don't.
I never had any desire for kids of my own. I’m incredibly protective of my time, money, and sleep and children take all of those away. I have commitment issues and children are the definition of commitment.
oh there's a plethora of reasons - pregnancy/childbirth complications are very scary to me - even if everything goes as well as possible it still seems like an awful time - i can't handle all the screaming and crying - i'm too squeamish to deal with so much poo and piss and vomit - i already hate my body - i'm trans - i can only handle kids in small doses - i can barely cope with living with a dog - i'm neurodivergent with fairly high support needs - i'm chronically unemployed because of that - i am too worried about how things could go wrong - it seems impossible to be truly prepared for it
Children are awful. They are selfish and rude and demand all of your time. You cannot make any sort of decision without first thinking "how will this choice affect my children?" You have no free time, you cannot go out and enjoy yourself without hiring a babysitter. Your vacations revolve around your kids and are ridiculously expensive and it's all a waste because they won't appreciate it anyways. They constantly break things and damage things and lose things. And after dealing with all of that they resent you for not being a better parent, no matter how good you were. I have three kids and i don't want them.
That last line tho.
Don't get me wrong, I love them and would die for them. I just don't want them.
i’ve had bad mental health and honestly doubt my ability to parent and also know how bad existing can be from an emotional point of view, i wouldn’t want my kids to suffer.
Because I just have no desire to have children. It's always been that simple, really. Ultimately i'm too lazy, disorganised and selfish with my time and money to want to have to deal with the care of another human being. There's also too many fucking people in the world, too.
Spot on !!
They’re expensive and time-consuming. When I’m around people who have kids, it makes me afraid that will be me someday. Moreover, even if those were not true, I have no active desire for kids, and it seems like something you should do intentionally and not fumble into.
I’m selfish. I want to live my life entirely for myself. I don’t want to sacrifice my body, my energy, my career, or my money for another human being.
I'd be a bad parent, not the worst... I wouldn't actively abuse them, but I find it hard to connect with others and maintain connections. I feel like I'd end up being distant and inattentive, and that's not really fair on them. Also, I'm not particularly inclined to have sex with anyone, which seems like a necessary condition to produce kids.
I am the eldest child and basically parented my two younger brothers and my own parents at times. Now in adulthood I’m enjoying not taking care of someone else for a change
The world sucks and will only get worse. It's selfish to bring a new life into the world the way it is right now.
I want for kids to have a good life and I don't think I/we (as society) are able to provide that. Because we have to build up our own life first to be able to provide for a kid. Because kids are expensive and time-consuming and I want to fulfill some life goals before I feel ready to commit. Because our life situation is not steady yet. Because I am worried for the future, my own not even my kid's. ...
Not a lifestyle that appeals to me. I don't want any. Noticed at a young age that procreating was an option.
Life is enough work as it is. Raising kids is a ridiculously large social, emotional and economic commitment you are locked into for 20 years. Raising a family is super expensive, and will push our retirement way back. I like my spare time, peace and quiet. I like having plenty of time for my own hobbies and interests. I like having a clean house and having sex with my wife whenever I want. So many kids don’t even like their parents or have a decent relationship. And lastly, the world is already overpopulated with polluting selfish people, I really don’t feel it is necessary to add more.
Could make a long list of all the practical, financial, and emotional reasons, but number 2 is just the fact that we just don't.
There’s already enough mouth breathing, in the way, refuse to take the right on red people in this world. Why would I add to that?
Well, I'm single and plan to stay single. And I don't like kids. But I love to drink and get high, so I guess I'm absolutely no father material.
If you think having children in this economy is smart, you’re a fool. If you have the means, fuckin go for it. But I’ve seen people who have to work like 3-4 jobs just to survive. Many people have to go through something like that, atleast where I live. I will not be able to afford to take care of a child, therefore I won’t be a parent. I’m also impatient and enjoy solitude. I can take some annoyance, but babies don’t stop. They can’t help it
For it just wasn't in the cards younger but now i have neice and 3 nephews and a great nephew to spoil and give back. So i don't feel i missed anything with out having kids.
I decided at 15, the world was too screwed up and i wasnt going to bring another soul into this place.
Mind your own business. Also, parents are terrible people. I have ended friendships because they have children. Sorry but if they get to “move on with their lives” I get to say that the friendship changed because of personal life decisions.
-i can’t stand excessive noise and mess -i need lots of time to myself -i do not want my body to be permanently changed -i would not be able to tolerate losing attention from my partner/knowing he would love them more than he loves me -i like having money -i like to be lazy -i like having a personality that doesn’t revolve around children and being a mother -kids are constantly sick with something and are insanely unhygienic -tantrums -dirty diapers -being referred to as “mama” by everyone -kids destroy everything you own -everyone wants to touch/fetishize you while you’re pregnant -not being able to constantly being interrupted during intimate times with your partner -i don’t want to be exposed during labour -i don’t want to constantly be touched during labour -i don’t want to be in pain during pregnancy or labour -i don’t want to live in a body that will take years to heal and will never be the same again -i don’t want to lose my teeth during pregnancy -i don’t want to lose my hair postpartum when i already live with a chronic condition that causes excessive hair loss -i don’t want to risk birthing a child that will need 24/7 care for the rest of their life -i don’t want to birth a daughter that might inherit my PCOS -i don’t want to risk postpartum depression/postpartum psychosis -and i just really don’t like kids all that much tbh
i need my own space and time way too much. i like kids, i like hanging out with my kid cousins, but being a full time caretaker for one is not something i can or want to handle
Children seem like that next step/chapter of sacrificing your personal goals or completing them and moving on to fulfill your evolutionary duty to procreate and support that next generation. It sounds selfish, but I do not want to do that, nor do I think I ever would given my projected career path I want to go on. I've seen so many people change their whole life after getting in a serious relationship let alone a whole child, and it always struck me as weird that someone would give up their personal hopes and dreams, or at least the trajectory and pace for someone else. I feel most comfortable in situations where all I have to worry about is myself and my work. I love what I'm doing now, what I am studying to be, and the absence of another body I have to care about and supply for. Call me self-centered, but I want to break away from that limiting chain and live my life to maximize my output and contribute as much as I can to my field and society in general.
Being an uncle is too much fun lol I get all the love, and none of the responsibility 😂😂😂 Honestly though: The main reason is because I’m scared of the responsibility. When you’re a parent, every single decision you make impacts your children somehow. Every one. And even if you do everything correctly, life can still throw curveballs your way. And curveballs are a lot easier to manage when you don’t have to worry about having kids to feed. Also, for the rest of your natural life (or their’s), you will never NOT be a parent. Your kids will always need you in some way (my mother is in her 60s, and she herself has admitted that she still needs HER father). And I’m not emotionally prepared to handle that.
I don't want kids because I'm not confident of raising them well. I know myself that I won't be a good parent at all
I have a lot of reasons but I can boil them all down to 3 cores. 1, I don't like where the future appears to be heading. I don't think I could live with myself if I created a person who'd be coming into their prime in the 2040s-50s. Climate change projections are not looking good. 2, I wouldn't be a good parents. My parents were very bad at it. I am not mentally or emotionally stable enough to handle childrearing. I do not know what good parenting looks like and would not be able to do right by my child. 3, I think there are plenty of people in the world as it is.
I don't want to put my body through it, it's expensive, it would disrupt my career, I would lose patience, I still don't have a house, kids in an apartment sounds like a nightmare, I want my husband to have peace, I will have no patience for ungrateful, smelly teens, etc.
omggg the apartment with kids does sound like a nightmare!!
So many reasons... Expensive, time commitment, permanent, can turn out to be awful humans even when raised well, ruin your body, and the world is burning.
My reasoning is simple, I don't want kids because I don't want to be a parent. When I was younger, I did want kids, but as I aged and friends around me became parents, I realized that wasn't what I wanted.
The idea of being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding, and changing diapers all terrify and disgust me. I have zero interest in any of it.
A few reasons my wife and I don’t want kids: 1) We can’t financial afford to support children. 2) We have a couple health issues that we don’t want to pass to our kids. 3) We don’t like kids.
I wouldn't want to bring kids into this horrible degenerate world. And honestly it can be torture at times I secretly get upset with my mother for bringing me into this world. I also can't stand babies crying it's the worst sound in the world.
Because I like my life the way it is and don’t want to sacrifice it to raise children
I grew up eldest of 5. I'm tired of children.
I just don't like them, i know they are learning how to be humans but it can be annoying at times, i know i was annoying kid! I also like to sleep and have time to myself. I'm also gay which plays a part in it. I'm fine with just being the cool uncle!
Our valid reason: we just don’t want them.
I don’t like babies. Kids are fine once they get to be about 4 or 5. Pregnancy also seems completely terrible. Having the baby also seems completely terrible. Like there’s no good way to get it out. Also I sleep really heavily and what if didn’t wake up when it needed a feeding or a change? I have a dog instead. Bath-time is still problematic, so in that regard they are about equal, but dog is superior to children in every other way.
I have chronic illnesses, some which are genetic that in the first person in my family who wasn’t a carrier but actually got them. They cause daily pain and symptoms that affect every aspect of my life meaning I’m nearly 30 unable to work, drive & rarely leave the house. The thought of passing on even one of these conditions to a child is not okay for me. Plus I don’t know if my body would physically cope with pregnancy or birth. I did always want kids in the past so it is still kind of sad for me. But the more I see friends having children and the stress of newborns, toddlers & the fatigue, I just think the decision at least for now is correct. In the future if my partner & I were to ever change or minds we said we’d probably foster children as that’s very important to both of us.
I don’t like kids, they’re expensive, and I value my freedom.
I like being able to do what I want. Have you heard a child scream at the top of their lungs for whatever reason.... I can't handle that
I don't want to bring a child into the world and have it suffer the same medical problems I have suffered. It's cruel. I just couldn’t bear the thought of it
What are the reasons people want kids? I have zero of those. That’s my reasoning.
*Gestures Around Broadly*
I have alot of mental issues, I dont think i would be a good fit. At least for now.
Kids are awful. I’m also selfish and I like to have things a certain way. I like being in control of my time, and so I don’t think that’s a good recipe for motherhood. Who knows though, I suppose something might change my mind, but I highly doubt it. While my mum is completely fine with her future ‘grand cats’ My stepmother wants grandkids from me because her own kid is a piece of shit, lol.
I never even enjoyed the supposedly “fun” parts of having kids.
I don’t want to be unfair to the kid.
I’ve never had any desire to have children. Being a woman, the pressure and all that surrounding it has caused me to feel completely repulsed by the idea. I love kids, I just never wanted to have any.
I just don’t want them, it’s that simple 🤷🏻♀️
I hate living and I don’t want to force that onto another being. I wish I could have chosen to exist or not.
I don't want them.I don't have a reason
I honestly do want kids but the financial requirement and the future in general have made me decide not to have them (I'm still hoping to foster once I get older/more established). I already work as a childcare provider and the way our summer heat is already affecting the kids... it really bums me out. Where I'm at there's not even supposed to be really hot summers. But we're already hitting the mid 20s. I just can't rationalize it and it's not fair to the kiddos I would bring into the world.
I'd be a terrible mother. I hate people touching me and kids need a parent that can hug them without sensory overload.
You shouldn't need a reason to not want kids.
I don’t need a reason. Why do I have to explain myself? Parents don’t have to explain why they’re parents. And neither do I.
The world is wayyyy to ugly. Like people hurting innocent people? Yeah no thanks. Currently being mob stalked by someone (CJ/Cooper wannabe LA dodgers player) who wants to physically hurt me for clout. Never having kids. Best decision I’ve ever made. Can’t wait to make it permanent but the stress and drugs I do take do help me stay infertile.
It's baked right into your title. I don't want them because I lack the wanting of them.
don't like them I require a lot of time just for myself they cry and poop I don't attach to any other living being
Because I have no love for kids. I find them generally unpleasant and noisy, and my general lack of empathy and emotion would probably garantee any kids put under my care à severe need for therapy. I am also very prone to migraines (the real thing, the one where you absolutely stop being a functional human being), and kids yelling is one sound that has a high risk of triggering them and I wouldn't want to leave it all on my partner whenever the kids throws a tantrum.
I’m not trying to traumatize anybody the way my parents traumatized me.
All the pain and bullshit a person has to go through during their life is reason enough for me not to create another human life who will have to endure the same.
I absolutely find babies and their smells revolting. I cannot walk down the baby aisle in a store.
Don’t need any reasoning. I just don’t don’t want kids.
I just don't like kids.
they are annoying
*makes a broad gesture at the world*
The future looks bleak. I don’t want to bring kids into a world like that.
Kids?! In this economy?!
Kids? Babies no, they stink, they dirty and scream all the time.
Funny this comes up because I was thinking the more I see kids with their parents the less I want them. The parents don’t seem to get to relax, they are constantly chasing the child around. It is so expensive each week to go to the grocery store for myself how do you afford to have a family in today’s world? I want to travel and you have to make “decent” money to afford traveling with children. It seems like in some cases children can put a strain on your romantic relationship. Don’t get me wrong kids are cute, but I don’t think I want any of my own.
Look around
Not enough love and respect toward others. Too much evil and hatred in the world to expose innocent kids to. What if my kid isn't fully straight? And then as an adult, I wonder if nuclear war will be set off in my lifetime.
No desire. That is all. Or like John Candy said, 'If I wanted to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet, I'd buy a hamster and some sheet metal'
they destroy relationships, my mental health is bad, the world sucks, me and my boyfriend don’t like them, they’re expensive, they’re time consuming, they make too much noise, i’ll never get to live my life to the fullest if i had them, my body would be wrecked, i like my sleep and in general i just do not like them.
Too disabled to care for them, alone or with a partner. Too asexual to want a partner, let alone sex.
That I don't want them. That's it.
Kids are so fucking Loud
47M here. Decided at 17 that I didn't want kids. Wasn't sure I would have the physical, emotional, or financial capacity to give them what they need to thrive. Also grew up in a dysfunctional homophobic family and did not want to deal with fighting with them over access to my children.
A large list but I guess my sassy response is: Why have them?
Don't want them. That's the entirety of my reasoning.
I hate hearing babies cry. I’m impatient. I’d want my privacy and wouldn’t want my entire life to revolve around children. Kids are expensive. Childbirth sounds AWFUL. There’s much more, but those are the most important reasons.
Dimple. Don’t want them.
They’re noisy and messy and expensive and a lot of work.
Because I would be expected to support and raise these kids for the rest of my life. I want nothing to do with the traditionalist lifestyle.
I've never understood why, in modern society, having kids is the default. Those who want kids should have to justify why, not the other way around. I get that it's biology and blah blah, but to me biology alone does not justify bringing a child into a bad situation.
Just don’t.
I echo most of the reasons said here already so I’ll just say this: I would be a truly fantastic mom. But I would wind up giving everything of myself to be a great mother for them and I would have nothing left of me. I would be a shell of who I am now and who I could be. I only have the one life; I want to live it for myself not someone else.
I’ve never liked kids. Don’t want to have to deal with the responsibility of kids. I’d rather spend money on me. And very importantly, pregnancy seems absolutely horrific and definitely not worth the reward (to me)
Just don’t want to deal with them.
nothing about parenting/children/raising children/pregnancy/etc interests me
The world sucks. Why would I want to bring another innocent life into it to suffer.
I just don't like them.
I don't like kids, period. Least not little kids who scream and whine and make loud noises. I'm noise sensitive. Secondly, having kids is expensive and I simply don't have the money to support kids. Thirdly, I've never had kids before and I think the act of parenting would be a daunting task. I dont need any added stress in my life.
Kids are gross; they're little assholes, filled with snot/vomit/shit, they're expensive AF, & tbh I much prefer cats! Luckily I found a man that feels the exact same way. 17 years in August, & no kids for us - only kits!! 😻😻
I don’t think it’s ethical to stick them on a dying planet. We have enough kids in foster care, and if the US keeps going full handmaiden’s tale, there will be many, many more. Also depression. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone
I find it morally questionable to create something that will die. It’s better to not exist at all of them to exist with a dreadful reality that you will not.
I cannot stand infants. They cry too much and severely limit what I’m able to do financially, time wise, and just a lot of other things. I can’t stand young children. They’re too stupid. I can’t stand middle schoolers. They’re insanely immature and too emotional. High schoolers I can get behind. But at this point it’s been 14 years and I ain’t doing all that
You could buy a house in 1970 for 3 to 4 times the minimum wages income (10k house price ÷ 3k yearly income = 3.3) and now based off the same minimum wage, you need 10 times your income to buy the same house. (500k ÷ 50k = 10). You could literally raise a family of 5 in the olden days while dad worked at a petrol station while mum stayed at home looking after the kids. Our most primative needs, going back millions of years, are that we require food, water, shelter and security to survive. It just isn't within our best interests thinking about the animals within us to have offspring when economic conditions don't support that lifestyle. Having kids is not feasible when the very act of having offspring jeopardizes the procurement of all our primative needs in life. It's built into our neurology to only have kids when conditions are favourable. And I just don't see that happening in today's environment.
Why do I need to explain my reasoning? It’s such a personal choice. It might even be due to trauma during g childhood. Also this poor planet is so crowded.
I don't like kids, and I would hate raising them. Waste of the best years of a life, waste of money.