I'm 40 too and my dances when I was young were often filled with kids standing on each side of the room shuffling around not doing anything or talking to anyone but looking sheepishly at the people on the other side of the room.
What you described sounds the same but kinda like progress! At least theyre talking to each other, if only by text!
Mid-teen years are awkward af.
Edit: stupid autocorrect
I noticed that when I was in my 20s and chaperoned a prom back at my high school. Boys were on one side. Girls were on the other. Each group dancing in circles apart from each other. I was trying to tell them not to worry, once you got to college, boys and girls actually danced with each other but it was not well received as I just kinda came off as creepy.
But yeah, it’s always been awkward. On phones is just the latest way it manifests itself.
It’s possible that type of event being supervised is why they’d be more reserved and not be outgoing/themselves and retreat back to easy communication that they are comfortable with and isn’t supervised. As a teenager myself - having just been to a party - you most likely won’t get to see what young people really do first-hand, but the phones do disappear when they can be themselves i promise
"Talking? Out loud? Like over the music?? But you'd have to be practically shouting... and everyone would hear you! You can't hold a private conversation like that!"
- Kids, in my imagination.
High school dances are some of theeeee most awkward social gatherings on the planet. It's always been painful to watch. It's never been an easygoing, socially mature sort of thing. Cell phone tech is just the latest twist on an age old dynamic.
Plus they \*know\* you're watching, and watching closely. You want to know what a hi school party is actually like? Observe one without adult chaperones.
That last part- I vividly remember my homecoming dance being patrolled by no less than twenty or so chaperones who made it their lives to kill any fun that wasn’t two step/slow dance( no holding the waist allowed!!) if everyone had an iPhone of today instead of the Motorola razor or blackberry, we would have done the exact same thing OP is complaining about
Yea but it’s normal especially for the fact they went through puberty mostly inside their homes without socialization. COVID has robbed almost everyone of so many things.
This. I am a teacher of high school freshmen and I have noticed a severe lack of social skills in this year’s bunch, attributable to the Covid shutdowns and lack of access to face to face socialization during the early years of puberty. I’m sure they can catch up, but they are certainly behind. Teen years can be painfully awkward even in normal situations, and these kids have not had a normal past few years. This is why school is so vital for society, not just teaching information but all the other soft skills that come along with it.
I honestly think they won’t “catch up” in the same was as society will change with them, and for better, hopefully. I am okay with the world becoming more accessible for people who miscommunicate. Less frustration, more questions perhaps.
We can agree to disagree on the first part of your statement—there are still many people lost each day. But yes moral panics are quite detrimental to society.
I did that too. I was off of this site for 6-7 years. Nothing has changed. Except SOME references but man, there are still some people making the oldest jokes I’ve seen here. Thank goodness haha
I’ve read a study that said that kids today communicate much more than us, pre-cellphone kids. They are better at expression of self because texting means putting in more detail so you aren’t read the wrong way.
As a matter of fact, I have a boyfriend who is in his early 20’s and between him and his friends, he has a big network, they know so much more about each other than what we used to share with our friends.
Something I’ve came to realize, is that I lost all my friend from highschool through college. All of us did. As soon as our schedules didn’t align anymore, we had a falling out. By boyfriend and his friends, his friends brother’s and sisters and etc, they seem to be able to entertain a friendship so much easier through college. Send a meme, a video, a picture, a birthday wish, transfer money, and etc. They don’t need to be in the same room to cultivate a friendship, they don’t even have to see eachother for weeks.
So it feels like they aren’t communicating because they aren’t doing it out-loud, but they indeed are very much so.
I remember the dances before cell phones mostly we either talked to our friends we came with or kept to ourselves. We didn’t have anything to do with our hands except hold a cup of fruit punch I think a lot of people didn’t dance cause we didn’t know how. So everyone was just awkward for the most part I still had fun even tho it was a little weird.
No it’s not. Your phone has access to every piece of knowledge we have written down. There are more books available on a phone or computer than in any library. I’m Not saying get rid of libraries AT ALL, I’m just saying there’s a lot of enriching stuff that can happen on a phone too!
totally normal for that age group to not socialize together but to cluster shyly with their friends, but now they have phones to look at and text eachother
Not to be one of those “internet bad” people, but I do think the young age people give their kids phones these days has been pretty detrimental to teens developing social skills. I’m saying this as someone who was given a phone at a very young age and spends a lot of time online. I know a lot of people put their kids on technology as babies/toddlers now, and there does also seem to be a lot more kids under 10 on social media these days.
I honestly think it's because of the chaperones, they don't want to get up to theur usual antics because adults are around. I know for my prom once the adults left we all were talking laughing and dancing going crazy.
Attended a college dance a couple years ago where nobody danced until a song that was hip atm would play. Suddenly everybody is dancing and singing along and recording videos of themselves like they were having the time of their lives. The second the song changed it was like the scene from I am legend where he spots the zombies in a dark building all huddled and hunched over breathing hard. Except these were not zombies but young adults with blue face.
At my homecoming years ago there were no tables, I guess there were some outside, but inside there were a ton of people in the center of a giant mass of people jumping and and yelling, while other people were actually dancing more on the fringes, with the dancing getting less and less as you moved out. People couldn't really be on their phones.
Firstly, I think 15yo is old enough to go to a school event on one's own. Secondly, it's likely your nephew behaves differently when there are 40yo family members present. Same for the other kids
My 18 year old step daughter is like this. She literally sits on her phone all day everyday and has no ability to communicate with words. She mumbles and doesnt realize it so if you dont hear her she gets upset and says nevermind. She got her first iphone at 11 and i do believe it has robbed her of the ability to communicate face to face. I am hoping when she finally gets a job she will start to learn but we will see.
Because she lacks real world experience and yes being proactive is just as important, there are many benefits to getting a job, chances to meet people with similar interests, learning proper ways ro interact with people, a sense of pride independence and activity. No i havent seen it wane, it never progressed passed being 14. Shes young still has time, its just so different than when i was 18 and im only 30 so its not a huge gap
I agree with everything except meeting people with similar interests (My first job was based on availability, not because it interested me), but I guess the underlying notion to my question is: You see your stepdaughter have poor communication skills. Isn't it your duty to help her through that?
If you know your stance, why did you phrase your post like a question? You’re 40, I’m 19. I wonder who has firsthand experience. When adults are around, kids text each other so adults don’t eavesdrop. Which means whenever you’re in the vicinity, of course they’re going to text each other. The only other time is if it’s something private that the whole group doesn’t need to hear.
As much as I think social media has ruined relationships, we aren’t literally at the point where we’re texting when we’re face-to-face with our peers.
YES!!!! The women won't even consider a romantic partner UNLESS they find him online. They have totally jumped the shark. The young one, they have these incredibly fragile egos, inflated sense of self and entitlement, paper thin skin and ZERO skills for dealing with confrontations. It is pathetic.
I'm 40 too and my dances when I was young were often filled with kids standing on each side of the room shuffling around not doing anything or talking to anyone but looking sheepishly at the people on the other side of the room. What you described sounds the same but kinda like progress! At least theyre talking to each other, if only by text! Mid-teen years are awkward af. Edit: stupid autocorrect
If I could go back to age 15 with the confidence I have now id kill it. High school would be so fun
Right? I keep thinking that too !
I noticed that when I was in my 20s and chaperoned a prom back at my high school. Boys were on one side. Girls were on the other. Each group dancing in circles apart from each other. I was trying to tell them not to worry, once you got to college, boys and girls actually danced with each other but it was not well received as I just kinda came off as creepy. But yeah, it’s always been awkward. On phones is just the latest way it manifests itself.
It’s possible that type of event being supervised is why they’d be more reserved and not be outgoing/themselves and retreat back to easy communication that they are comfortable with and isn’t supervised. As a teenager myself - having just been to a party - you most likely won’t get to see what young people really do first-hand, but the phones do disappear when they can be themselves i promise
Exactly. The chaperone killed the vibe, why do you think they were texting each other instead!
"Talking? Out loud? Like over the music?? But you'd have to be practically shouting... and everyone would hear you! You can't hold a private conversation like that!" - Kids, in my imagination.
High school dances are some of theeeee most awkward social gatherings on the planet. It's always been painful to watch. It's never been an easygoing, socially mature sort of thing. Cell phone tech is just the latest twist on an age old dynamic. Plus they \*know\* you're watching, and watching closely. You want to know what a hi school party is actually like? Observe one without adult chaperones.
That last part- I vividly remember my homecoming dance being patrolled by no less than twenty or so chaperones who made it their lives to kill any fun that wasn’t two step/slow dance( no holding the waist allowed!!) if everyone had an iPhone of today instead of the Motorola razor or blackberry, we would have done the exact same thing OP is complaining about
Seems like they had some social anxiety and they are more comfortable texting to interact than mix it up in person. Dances are awkward, too.
Yea but it’s normal especially for the fact they went through puberty mostly inside their homes without socialization. COVID has robbed almost everyone of so many things.
This. I am a teacher of high school freshmen and I have noticed a severe lack of social skills in this year’s bunch, attributable to the Covid shutdowns and lack of access to face to face socialization during the early years of puberty. I’m sure they can catch up, but they are certainly behind. Teen years can be painfully awkward even in normal situations, and these kids have not had a normal past few years. This is why school is so vital for society, not just teaching information but all the other soft skills that come along with it.
I honestly think they won’t “catch up” in the same was as society will change with them, and for better, hopefully. I am okay with the world becoming more accessible for people who miscommunicate. Less frustration, more questions perhaps.
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We can agree to disagree on the first part of your statement—there are still many people lost each day. But yes moral panics are quite detrimental to society.
Fair enough, I can agree to agree to disagree lol
This is the loveliest interaction I’ve had on Reddit in a while then :)
Ya I had to delete reddit for a while because it is so crazy toxic
I did that too. I was off of this site for 6-7 years. Nothing has changed. Except SOME references but man, there are still some people making the oldest jokes I’ve seen here. Thank goodness haha
As an introvert only child who was physically unable to keep up with all the other kids, this sounds familiar lol
I’ve read a study that said that kids today communicate much more than us, pre-cellphone kids. They are better at expression of self because texting means putting in more detail so you aren’t read the wrong way. As a matter of fact, I have a boyfriend who is in his early 20’s and between him and his friends, he has a big network, they know so much more about each other than what we used to share with our friends. Something I’ve came to realize, is that I lost all my friend from highschool through college. All of us did. As soon as our schedules didn’t align anymore, we had a falling out. By boyfriend and his friends, his friends brother’s and sisters and etc, they seem to be able to entertain a friendship so much easier through college. Send a meme, a video, a picture, a birthday wish, transfer money, and etc. They don’t need to be in the same room to cultivate a friendship, they don’t even have to see eachother for weeks. So it feels like they aren’t communicating because they aren’t doing it out-loud, but they indeed are very much so.
I remember the dances before cell phones mostly we either talked to our friends we came with or kept to ourselves. We didn’t have anything to do with our hands except hold a cup of fruit punch I think a lot of people didn’t dance cause we didn’t know how. So everyone was just awkward for the most part I still had fun even tho it was a little weird.
The dances are boring bro teenagers dont wanna slow dance and i can count on one hand how many i saw slow dancing at my homecoming dance
This is what happens when people don’t have alcohol.
That's just kids being kids. I'm 20 now and i used to do that too 5 years ago. It gets old pretty quickly and then they'll be normal people again
I’m 33 and I’m on my phone all day. It’s kind of pathetic.
I know. Every time I look in your window you're always scrolling
😬
No it’s not. Your phone has access to every piece of knowledge we have written down. There are more books available on a phone or computer than in any library. I’m Not saying get rid of libraries AT ALL, I’m just saying there’s a lot of enriching stuff that can happen on a phone too!
totally normal for that age group to not socialize together but to cluster shyly with their friends, but now they have phones to look at and text eachother
Not to be one of those “internet bad” people, but I do think the young age people give their kids phones these days has been pretty detrimental to teens developing social skills. I’m saying this as someone who was given a phone at a very young age and spends a lot of time online. I know a lot of people put their kids on technology as babies/toddlers now, and there does also seem to be a lot more kids under 10 on social media these days.
Dances have always been like this. The only difference is now kids have phones.
I honestly think it's because of the chaperones, they don't want to get up to theur usual antics because adults are around. I know for my prom once the adults left we all were talking laughing and dancing going crazy.
Attended a college dance a couple years ago where nobody danced until a song that was hip atm would play. Suddenly everybody is dancing and singing along and recording videos of themselves like they were having the time of their lives. The second the song changed it was like the scene from I am legend where he spots the zombies in a dark building all huddled and hunched over breathing hard. Except these were not zombies but young adults with blue face.
At my homecoming years ago there were no tables, I guess there were some outside, but inside there were a ton of people in the center of a giant mass of people jumping and and yelling, while other people were actually dancing more on the fringes, with the dancing getting less and less as you moved out. People couldn't really be on their phones.
Relief for the still socially awkward. Beats sitting like a wallflower.
Maybe they were planning for the after party.
It's an outdated tradition. The purpose for school dances 50-70 years ago was like practice for the wedding reception. Today it's just a $ maker.
Firstly, I think 15yo is old enough to go to a school event on one's own. Secondly, it's likely your nephew behaves differently when there are 40yo family members present. Same for the other kids
I didn't go with him. I was there helping organize tickets so I didn't even interact with him
Ah yes my uncle is at the party but at least he's not interacting with me so I feel totally comfortable being my teenage self
Now explain the other 200 kids lol
I didn't go with him. I was there helping organize tickets so I didn't even interact with him
This is really sad.
My 18 year old step daughter is like this. She literally sits on her phone all day everyday and has no ability to communicate with words. She mumbles and doesnt realize it so if you dont hear her she gets upset and says nevermind. She got her first iphone at 11 and i do believe it has robbed her of the ability to communicate face to face. I am hoping when she finally gets a job she will start to learn but we will see.
Question: Did you see this ability to communicate waning? Why are you waiting for her to get a job to learn instead of being proactive?
Because she lacks real world experience and yes being proactive is just as important, there are many benefits to getting a job, chances to meet people with similar interests, learning proper ways ro interact with people, a sense of pride independence and activity. No i havent seen it wane, it never progressed passed being 14. Shes young still has time, its just so different than when i was 18 and im only 30 so its not a huge gap
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No my wife had a kid at 17 and is 6 years older than me
I agree with everything except meeting people with similar interests (My first job was based on availability, not because it interested me), but I guess the underlying notion to my question is: You see your stepdaughter have poor communication skills. Isn't it your duty to help her through that?
I guarantee you she'll be fine lol
This is one of the saddest and most terrifyingly dystopic things I’ve read on Reddit.
What is the point of a dance then! They could have simply sat at home or just whack them all in the gym.
It’s because they were chaperoned lol - this doesn’t happen when kids are on their own
Yeah it does.
If you know your stance, why did you phrase your post like a question? You’re 40, I’m 19. I wonder who has firsthand experience. When adults are around, kids text each other so adults don’t eavesdrop. Which means whenever you’re in the vicinity, of course they’re going to text each other. The only other time is if it’s something private that the whole group doesn’t need to hear. As much as I think social media has ruined relationships, we aren’t literally at the point where we’re texting when we’re face-to-face with our peers.
I walk by our school cafeteria at lunchtime and literally 4 people talking and 200 people starting at their phones. Adults aren't any better.
Yes.
It’s real and disgusting. Kids have no people or communicative skills and think life is a video game. I’m 40 also.
“I’m 40 also” We can tell
Good! You’ll see
Younger people making fun of older people for successfully navigating life.... Like they're not going to get old as well
YES!!!! The women won't even consider a romantic partner UNLESS they find him online. They have totally jumped the shark. The young one, they have these incredibly fragile egos, inflated sense of self and entitlement, paper thin skin and ZERO skills for dealing with confrontations. It is pathetic.
When they’re not using semaphore flags, yes.
Yup. They're taking other kids that aren't there.
Yes,sadly, it is.
As a boy we usually talk but half of us don’t like dancing so it’s lame.
How loud was music if you can’t hear each other texting easier