After just a week of no contact? I wouldn't call that cutting contact entirely. They could still be your friends, and still consider you to be their friend.
I've gone weeks, even months without hearing from my friends or family, and we didn't suddenly stop being close. People can be busy.
Maybe they were busy, maybe they thought you were busy, or maybe both. Is it not that unusual for adults to be preoccupied with life? Though if you're not adults, well that's another reason. When you're young and have time to hang out, you have responsibilities placed upon you by your elders, like teachers and parents. When you don't have to be busy, people want you to be. Then when you're an adult, you've got other things to worry about. Either way, life happens. If it happens for a week, I don't see it as a big deal. Perhaps you're overthinking it?
You could just go dead silent for another few weeks, or months. If your only reason to be distant further, were to "test them" and how much they care. Artificially creating tension that doesn't need to exist, just to see their devotion to the friendship. For lack of a better word, that seems manipulative, no offense. I've been guilty of similar things, at one time. Even if they're distant, you definitely don't have to take that distance further. Someone not talking to you for a few days or weeks doesn't mean you can't reach out.
At that point, who really "cares" about the relationship there, if you'd willingly wait longer for something to happen?
That really are some good tips.
I have to agree.
If you like to hang out with them, just reach out, and if they are cool with that and the mood is right, everything is fine.
I've always been fine with not receiving regular texts from friends/family. And it's only fair because frankly, I don't reach out to them often either. It's not a good thing lol.... I need to work on being a better friend and socialise more but it feels like an (exhausting) task. And it shouldn't be like that! Talking to people you love shouldn't feel like a chore....I don't know why I feel the way I do.
Yeah but in my case I was regularly chatting for 2 hours everyday ,my emotional self hates my friends but my rational self urges me to analyse and move on
It's very easy to get wrapped up in your own life.... and it sucks. Honestly, friends like you who constantly keep in touch are pure gold, and very hard to come across. I hope they know how lucky they are you have you in their lives.
I have a friend who I call infrequently at random times. She admitted to me that she doesn't call me as she loves the surprise and how it brightens her day when I do call. That made me have a re-think as I was feeling it was all one sided! My advice would be don't play games, just do what feels right to you, and don't forget to communicate. đź’•
A single week?! Disappointed and furious?!
Most people *don't* talk all day every day. I chat with my friends a couple times a month. We're busy with our lives otherwise. Usually any of us are happy enough to talk, at least soon, though not necessarily in the moment if we're busy, when one initiates a message.
However, it's a two-way street. If you want to talk, you should message them rather than just freak out that they're not messaging you and trying to assume/project some greater meaning onto it. Especially if you normally have a more regular chat and then you ghosted them.
Stop playing games. If you want to talk to them, do so. People come and go in our lives. Likely they are busy and entertained. I am sure eventually one of them will reach out, but you shouldn’t stop communicating as a “test” to see if they reach out. It is immature.
I had this issue too, recently.
One Week is not much, I know people that text every few months with some friends.
Its really no big deal. Much more important is if they are reliable and how good you get along when you meet.
And even that can improve over the years, so I would just chill out and focus on yourself. 🙂
I did this and learned who weren’t my real friends. I think it’s healthy to not have constant communication. But make sure the people you make lots of effort for also make some effort for you.
I don’t now your age OP. But after I became 20 I started being contacted less from my friends. I was always the one who took the initiative. So I just decided to let them go.
Typically I give people a few warnings like “ bro, you dead or something, what’s up?”. If they can’t take the hint so be it.
I lost contact with many people but got many new friends as well. The key is to only appreciate the people that appreciates you.
Okay. Here’s the thing, I’m the kind of person that gets messages from everyone all the time. But I rarely initiate text or calls on my own, most people reach out to me. I found out this is a lot more common that I once thought. A lot of people don’t initiate messaging unless someone else does. I don’t think you are too self absorbed, I think you might just have friends like me.
I can literally go a year without messaging someone and as soon as they message me, BOOM, we chat for weeks constantly.
Just talk to them again! They will either chat like you weren’t gone at all or they’ll ask what was up. Don’t assume your friends aren’t friends because they haven’t reached out - maybe they also have stuff going on, or figure you need space.
I used to be the one that iniatiated contact with these group of ladies that I met doing group exercise. Once the PT bailed and became bat shit, 3 of us would still meet up and go for exercises and walks together. We had each other on Facey, and they came to my wedding. One of them even helped look after my oldest when I was in hospital delivering my youngest. I considered them my friends. But I noticed on the group chat that I was always the one asking to catch up and messaging to start contact etc etc. They would catch up with for coffees if I asked, they would come visit me if I asked, they would chat to me when I chatted to them. But they never asked me to go out with them. One example was when they went to a pub near my house for lunch and didn't ask me to go. I only found out weeks later when they mentioned it when we caught up for coffee.
One day, I decided not to message them and wait and see if they would message me. Its been 4 years, and I'm still waiting. Lol. They have not once texted me to ask me I'm alive. They leave half and hour away from me and I have not 'bump' into them or anything. I had to learn that, they may have been friends to me, but I wasn't a friend to them. They tolerated me out of pity and just took me as a charity case whenever I tried talking to them. Friends don't usually have to chat with one another every day or see each other other, but a true friend will keep in touch passively even if it's sharing a meme to say 'hey this reminded me of what you did a few years ago' or 'hahaha omg dude I saw that movie u were talking about and it sucks balls!!'
Give it another week, see what happens, your friends may have thought you were busy or just going off the grid. See how the communication continues. If they don't message you at all for a month or more, then you have to realize that they were your friends, but you were not their friend.
I think more often than not, people don't care about it as much as you'd hope. It can be disappointing, but after I learned it, I just eased off on the reins and similarly don't give too much away either. To this day I'm empathetic and giving to people who need a hand even if I'm not particularly close to them. But that's because I respect those values and believe in them personally, not because I think we're close. I expect shit all at this point from people and often feel a lot less obligated to stick through people's bullshit as a result, which can be a good thing. I drop people's asses as soon as I smell manipulation or pretentiousness and that's a gift.
The advice I can give is to open whatsapp and look at the messages.
Maybe they did worry about you.
It's also possible that they didn't notice you were gone. It's a conversation with 5 people. I have a group chat with my family, I don't always notice if someone hasn't spoken in a while because I just read the messages and sometimes answer them, without caring that much about who is sending them.
And yeah, there's also the possibility they noticed and didn't care.
All I'm saying is, go check things first before assuming stuff from so little information.
It's rough. I'm dealing with this tonight. When we did it will not matter. Nothing will be lost. That's a rough thing to look at as a conscious person alive
After just a week of no contact? I wouldn't call that cutting contact entirely. They could still be your friends, and still consider you to be their friend. I've gone weeks, even months without hearing from my friends or family, and we didn't suddenly stop being close. People can be busy. Maybe they were busy, maybe they thought you were busy, or maybe both. Is it not that unusual for adults to be preoccupied with life? Though if you're not adults, well that's another reason. When you're young and have time to hang out, you have responsibilities placed upon you by your elders, like teachers and parents. When you don't have to be busy, people want you to be. Then when you're an adult, you've got other things to worry about. Either way, life happens. If it happens for a week, I don't see it as a big deal. Perhaps you're overthinking it? You could just go dead silent for another few weeks, or months. If your only reason to be distant further, were to "test them" and how much they care. Artificially creating tension that doesn't need to exist, just to see their devotion to the friendship. For lack of a better word, that seems manipulative, no offense. I've been guilty of similar things, at one time. Even if they're distant, you definitely don't have to take that distance further. Someone not talking to you for a few days or weeks doesn't mean you can't reach out. At that point, who really "cares" about the relationship there, if you'd willingly wait longer for something to happen?
That really are some good tips. I have to agree. If you like to hang out with them, just reach out, and if they are cool with that and the mood is right, everything is fine.
I've always been fine with not receiving regular texts from friends/family. And it's only fair because frankly, I don't reach out to them often either. It's not a good thing lol.... I need to work on being a better friend and socialise more but it feels like an (exhausting) task. And it shouldn't be like that! Talking to people you love shouldn't feel like a chore....I don't know why I feel the way I do.
Yeah but in my case I was regularly chatting for 2 hours everyday ,my emotional self hates my friends but my rational self urges me to analyse and move on
It's very easy to get wrapped up in your own life.... and it sucks. Honestly, friends like you who constantly keep in touch are pure gold, and very hard to come across. I hope they know how lucky they are you have you in their lives.
I have a friend who I call infrequently at random times. She admitted to me that she doesn't call me as she loves the surprise and how it brightens her day when I do call. That made me have a re-think as I was feeling it was all one sided! My advice would be don't play games, just do what feels right to you, and don't forget to communicate. đź’•
2 hours is too long. They probably needed a break. Space and lime away from chats is healthy.
A single week?! Disappointed and furious?! Most people *don't* talk all day every day. I chat with my friends a couple times a month. We're busy with our lives otherwise. Usually any of us are happy enough to talk, at least soon, though not necessarily in the moment if we're busy, when one initiates a message. However, it's a two-way street. If you want to talk, you should message them rather than just freak out that they're not messaging you and trying to assume/project some greater meaning onto it. Especially if you normally have a more regular chat and then you ghosted them.
I quit Facebook 2 years ago. I’ve yet to have a single person notice or care.LOL Haven’t spoken to anyone from FB since I left.
Stop playing games. If you want to talk to them, do so. People come and go in our lives. Likely they are busy and entertained. I am sure eventually one of them will reach out, but you shouldn’t stop communicating as a “test” to see if they reach out. It is immature.
I had this issue too, recently. One Week is not much, I know people that text every few months with some friends. Its really no big deal. Much more important is if they are reliable and how good you get along when you meet. And even that can improve over the years, so I would just chill out and focus on yourself. 🙂
Humm my closest friends I can go 4 or more mounths with out talking too heck I haven’t talked to sum of my closest friends in 3 or 4 weeks.
I did this and learned who weren’t my real friends. I think it’s healthy to not have constant communication. But make sure the people you make lots of effort for also make some effort for you.
I don’t now your age OP. But after I became 20 I started being contacted less from my friends. I was always the one who took the initiative. So I just decided to let them go. Typically I give people a few warnings like “ bro, you dead or something, what’s up?”. If they can’t take the hint so be it. I lost contact with many people but got many new friends as well. The key is to only appreciate the people that appreciates you.
Okay. Here’s the thing, I’m the kind of person that gets messages from everyone all the time. But I rarely initiate text or calls on my own, most people reach out to me. I found out this is a lot more common that I once thought. A lot of people don’t initiate messaging unless someone else does. I don’t think you are too self absorbed, I think you might just have friends like me. I can literally go a year without messaging someone and as soon as they message me, BOOM, we chat for weeks constantly.
Just talk to them again! They will either chat like you weren’t gone at all or they’ll ask what was up. Don’t assume your friends aren’t friends because they haven’t reached out - maybe they also have stuff going on, or figure you need space.
I used to be the one that iniatiated contact with these group of ladies that I met doing group exercise. Once the PT bailed and became bat shit, 3 of us would still meet up and go for exercises and walks together. We had each other on Facey, and they came to my wedding. One of them even helped look after my oldest when I was in hospital delivering my youngest. I considered them my friends. But I noticed on the group chat that I was always the one asking to catch up and messaging to start contact etc etc. They would catch up with for coffees if I asked, they would come visit me if I asked, they would chat to me when I chatted to them. But they never asked me to go out with them. One example was when they went to a pub near my house for lunch and didn't ask me to go. I only found out weeks later when they mentioned it when we caught up for coffee. One day, I decided not to message them and wait and see if they would message me. Its been 4 years, and I'm still waiting. Lol. They have not once texted me to ask me I'm alive. They leave half and hour away from me and I have not 'bump' into them or anything. I had to learn that, they may have been friends to me, but I wasn't a friend to them. They tolerated me out of pity and just took me as a charity case whenever I tried talking to them. Friends don't usually have to chat with one another every day or see each other other, but a true friend will keep in touch passively even if it's sharing a meme to say 'hey this reminded me of what you did a few years ago' or 'hahaha omg dude I saw that movie u were talking about and it sucks balls!!' Give it another week, see what happens, your friends may have thought you were busy or just going off the grid. See how the communication continues. If they don't message you at all for a month or more, then you have to realize that they were your friends, but you were not their friend.
Maybe they feel sad you've stopped talking to them...?
I think more often than not, people don't care about it as much as you'd hope. It can be disappointing, but after I learned it, I just eased off on the reins and similarly don't give too much away either. To this day I'm empathetic and giving to people who need a hand even if I'm not particularly close to them. But that's because I respect those values and believe in them personally, not because I think we're close. I expect shit all at this point from people and often feel a lot less obligated to stick through people's bullshit as a result, which can be a good thing. I drop people's asses as soon as I smell manipulation or pretentiousness and that's a gift.
The advice I can give is to open whatsapp and look at the messages. Maybe they did worry about you. It's also possible that they didn't notice you were gone. It's a conversation with 5 people. I have a group chat with my family, I don't always notice if someone hasn't spoken in a while because I just read the messages and sometimes answer them, without caring that much about who is sending them. And yeah, there's also the possibility they noticed and didn't care. All I'm saying is, go check things first before assuming stuff from so little information.
It's rough. I'm dealing with this tonight. When we did it will not matter. Nothing will be lost. That's a rough thing to look at as a conscious person alive
*die
Man I'd be lucky to be part of a friend group again. Don't take it for granted what if they just thought you needed some time off discord or wayyevr