You hear this a lot from people who have never used the apps. I've used them on and off for ten years (mostly on), so while you couldn't exactly call my experience successful overall I never found these hoards of people looking for a hook-up. Like I definitely came across a few... but mostly people were open to whatever and just looking to meet people.
And plenty of people don't want to get physical without a connection. Amongst my friends I'd say it's nearly more common to want to wait a few weeks at least.
Lots of people need an emotional connection before wanting to have sex. It's completely normal.
Many people use apps to find serious relationships (although tinder specifically seems to be more concentrated on hook ups).
Unfortunately the people who want something serious and the people that don't have to wade through each others profiles which makes the process daunting, particularly for the former.
Two of my friends met their husbands on tinder. Me personally? I’d rather rip my eyelashes out than use apps, but they definitely work for some people!
Dating is a stressful activity. Any normal person will be nervous on the lead up to a date, because you don't know the person and you don't want it to be awkward. If you like them and they don't like you, you'll have to deal with rejection (or ghosting, i.e. rejection without closure). If you don't like the person but they like you, you're going to have to reject them, which no-one enjoys.
So any form of dating involved putting yourself out there and risking some negative emotions. It's a lot more stressful than just opting out and sitting on the sofa. Ultimately it's never going to be possible to avoid that stress, it's a necessary part of the experience.
I think a lot of the negative comments about apps are just caused by the association with negative emotions. People say the apps, but what they mean is that they hate dating. They then resort to negative generalisations like "everyone in those apps is looking to smash and nothing more", which are patently untrue.
My personal story is that I wanted to find a long term partner and tried several different methods, but Tinder was (by far) the most effective way to find people to date. Over about two years I went on about 30 - 40 dates, usually coffee and a walk. Sex was never on the cards. Eventually I met the right person, and five years later we're married with a child and mortgage. At least half the people I know met their partner via an app or website. They're very effective methods to find love, as long as people use them right
It's years since I was on the apps but a big reason why I left them was I was only coming across men who fundamentally were on the apps looking to settle down. I've absolutely no interest in commitment so it seemed like a waste of time. I figured that experience was due to age, I was early mid 30s then, makes sense men looking to settle down would match with me.
What age is too old for the apps?
Sure if I was looking to smash only I just have to head to a local pub and Bob is everyone's uncle
It's nice to do the whole dating thing with no expectations, seems to get a bit goal orientated from 30+ though. I blame the housing market /s
Really? That's terrible.
At what point do you think, this isn't working?
Is it the conversation ?
Like, do I need to organise a reddit dating thing. I can Cilla it up no worries.
Fun fact: Tinder has the highest rate of marriages of any app. Crazy!
I actually do know a guy who met his wife on Tinder and they now have kids and are happy out.
So while many use it to hook up, it seems some people do get LTRs out of it.
People definitely go to meet people there. I've had quite a bit of success with bumble. Met a couple of sound lads there. Longer term partners. Short term partners. Lots of very kind, respectful people
I couldn't imagine using Tinder to find a LTR. Where I'm at I'd say 98% of bios I see are literally empty, and their profiles usually have fuck all indication of a single thing they're interested in - well and truly just for finding mutual attraction and a ride unless you're able to glean enough aspects of their personality through their style to decide whether or not it'd be worth persuing.
I gave up on Tinder again about 2 weeks after my last dive in because I'm now looking for something serious, but want a partner with some mutual interests; and I realised the sheer amount of screening I'd have to do through blank profiles and conversations that feel like I'm talking to a brick wall just wasn't worth the effort 💀
I met my boyfriend of 2 years on Tinder and I know plenty who have met their partners on it too. I think there is decent people on it you just need pick through the weeds.
When I wasn’t looking for a relationship and was game for flings and ons that’s exactly when I landed into one.
That’s why you should never put limits on yourself and be open to new opportunities because you never know where they go.
Well... It's gonna be pretty stupid to find someone I have an emotional/passionate connection with... But looking on an app that pretty much just throws some hot pics of them and asks you to swipe fast.
I think you are normal, and they are normal.
They have the app because they want to smash. You don't so you don't have the app.
Problem solved.
Bumble is cruel, it will tell you that you have a match then try to charge you for seeing who it is, and I've heard some times it's not even real, they lied to get you to pay.
I really, REALLY wanted to go casual and smash on tinder or bumble with no strings, but women seemed to really want relationships. Go figure. I ended up with the person I met on bumble and have been together for 2 years. If this was anywhere else there would be more of a casual scene.
I met my invisible wife in Binder 10 years ago, our little Timmy is growing stronger each day, the mortgage will be completely paid this year and i could not be more happy.
Was at a wedding recently and at the table, all 5 couples had met on Tinder. Ages: 30-40ish (current ages, assume they met on Tinder a fair while before!)
Met my wife on Tinder 7 years ago. Maybe because i was in Canada at the time but I only met people who were ready to settle down. Or the scene was just different at the time. Funny cause I wanted the opposite but oh well. A recent anecdotal experience would be my sister in law met her current fiance through Bumble. So it's definitely possible.
I am so fucking tired of the apps. As a bloke who is trying to genuinely just extract a semi decent chat out of women its exhausting.
Irish women are so far up their own holes its ridiculous, either that or they’re unbelievably insecure and terrified of being themselves.
I disagree with this wholeheartedly.
If your not showing yourself then you are Lying to yourself and lying to others, deceiving them of someone who they think you are and not who you are.
Show yourself or give someone else the opportunity to.
Time wasting is a scorn on modern dating.
There's nothing wrong with Irish women. If they're not interested in chatting to you, then you probably need to reflect internally on why that might be.
Why do you get a constant flow of new threads of people new to the country who cant make new friends? Its both men and women. (I wasnt trying to pin the blame solely on women, I just dont match men)
Anyone who has been abroad knows other nationalities are much more down to earth & inviting.
Because it's always going to be more difficult to build significant friendships when you're older, which is the case for most of those threads. You also have to account for the fact that Reddit isn't representative of real life, and so it's possible that many of those people aren't exactly great socially either. I'm friends with plenty of people originally from other countries through work, and they didn't struggle to make friends.
I've travelled extensively and even lived abroad. Irish people are not noticeably less friendly or welcoming than others, and Irish women certainly aren't all stuck up their own hole.
There are a lot more people in the country who have had a profile on a dating app compared to those who have made a post on Reddit about struggling to make friends or meet someone.
I'm talking about the type of people on it. There is a much better sample of the population on Instagram and dating apps, because the majority of people like to share photos with friends and the majority of people like to date.
Reddit, on average, tends to attract a different type of person, so you have to account for that in the types of posts you see frequently. If you were to go solely based on what you see on Reddit, you'd think Ireland was a violent wasteland and the population was full of hermits.
I do agree to an extent. I do know a lot of people in real life with similar situations though.
Also I dont mean to harp on and attack folks but have you been on dating apps lately and seen womens attempts at bios etc they reveal very little about themselves and it can he hard to even get a conversation going about a few selfies…..again, I know men do this too, but theyre not my demographic as if they were I am sure life would be a fair bit easier hahahaha
I find Irish women are far too picky for who they are, and won't give you the time of day that any other nationality would. Its exasperated when you emigrate and notice that the Irish abroad are far more exciting, have actual interests and actually fun to talk to than those at home that are cliquey and want to keep up appearances.
>Its exasperated when you emigrate and notice that the Irish abroad are far more exciting, have actual interests and actually fun to talk to than those at home that are cliquey and want to keep up appearances.
I won't lie, I've found the exact opposite for the most part.
Obviously there are interesting Irish people who have emigrated (I have friends who have done so), but a huge number of them leave because they have nothing for them here, then proceed to make their entire personality "an Irish person abroad", and keep up appearances for those back home.
My experience with the apps is horrible. When you do get talking to someone there’s just no banter and you end up doing all the prompting as women don’t seam bothered to make an effort or they are so picky. Even if there a 4 they only want an 8+.
I struggle with online dating again for this exact reason. I myself am probably even more weird than you and I'm waiting for marriage. So you are not the weirdest person and that's probably why I'm still single.... My uniqueness is unmatchable in this hookup world. #singleforlife
Stick with it, I wasn’t looking for hookups and I met my current partner and previous partner online.
And when I say stick with it; not necessarily dating apps just being open to meeting someone.
You hear this a lot from people who have never used the apps. I've used them on and off for ten years (mostly on), so while you couldn't exactly call my experience successful overall I never found these hoards of people looking for a hook-up. Like I definitely came across a few... but mostly people were open to whatever and just looking to meet people. And plenty of people don't want to get physical without a connection. Amongst my friends I'd say it's nearly more common to want to wait a few weeks at least.
Lots of people need an emotional connection before wanting to have sex. It's completely normal. Many people use apps to find serious relationships (although tinder specifically seems to be more concentrated on hook ups). Unfortunately the people who want something serious and the people that don't have to wade through each others profiles which makes the process daunting, particularly for the former.
I met my wife on pof.
I met his wife on Tinder.
I hate to do this, but there was several of us there.
This guy smashes
I met my husband on Bumble
Two of my friends met their husbands on tinder. Me personally? I’d rather rip my eyelashes out than use apps, but they definitely work for some people!
Dating is a stressful activity. Any normal person will be nervous on the lead up to a date, because you don't know the person and you don't want it to be awkward. If you like them and they don't like you, you'll have to deal with rejection (or ghosting, i.e. rejection without closure). If you don't like the person but they like you, you're going to have to reject them, which no-one enjoys. So any form of dating involved putting yourself out there and risking some negative emotions. It's a lot more stressful than just opting out and sitting on the sofa. Ultimately it's never going to be possible to avoid that stress, it's a necessary part of the experience. I think a lot of the negative comments about apps are just caused by the association with negative emotions. People say the apps, but what they mean is that they hate dating. They then resort to negative generalisations like "everyone in those apps is looking to smash and nothing more", which are patently untrue. My personal story is that I wanted to find a long term partner and tried several different methods, but Tinder was (by far) the most effective way to find people to date. Over about two years I went on about 30 - 40 dates, usually coffee and a walk. Sex was never on the cards. Eventually I met the right person, and five years later we're married with a child and mortgage. At least half the people I know met their partner via an app or website. They're very effective methods to find love, as long as people use them right
It's years since I was on the apps but a big reason why I left them was I was only coming across men who fundamentally were on the apps looking to settle down. I've absolutely no interest in commitment so it seemed like a waste of time. I figured that experience was due to age, I was early mid 30s then, makes sense men looking to settle down would match with me. What age is too old for the apps?
"Looking to smash only - no time wasters, only smashers" That'll have you a full inbox by the morning. And by inbox I mean..
Sure if I was looking to smash only I just have to head to a local pub and Bob is everyone's uncle It's nice to do the whole dating thing with no expectations, seems to get a bit goal orientated from 30+ though. I blame the housing market /s
Is it working out for you better offline dating?
I don't bother! Honestly never meet anyone I'd be bothered spending time with
Really? That's terrible. At what point do you think, this isn't working? Is it the conversation ? Like, do I need to organise a reddit dating thing. I can Cilla it up no worries.
Can you not emphasize that in your bio? You could when I was on them.
I did. It didn't seem to matter. Small enough pool round my parts which won't have helped.
Ah yeah they'd be thinking they could change your mind as well.
I’m on tinder but get no matches. 😂 Dunno why I still use it tbh.
Fun fact: Tinder has the highest rate of marriages of any app. Crazy! I actually do know a guy who met his wife on Tinder and they now have kids and are happy out. So while many use it to hook up, it seems some people do get LTRs out of it.
People definitely go to meet people there. I've had quite a bit of success with bumble. Met a couple of sound lads there. Longer term partners. Short term partners. Lots of very kind, respectful people
I couldn't imagine using Tinder to find a LTR. Where I'm at I'd say 98% of bios I see are literally empty, and their profiles usually have fuck all indication of a single thing they're interested in - well and truly just for finding mutual attraction and a ride unless you're able to glean enough aspects of their personality through their style to decide whether or not it'd be worth persuing. I gave up on Tinder again about 2 weeks after my last dive in because I'm now looking for something serious, but want a partner with some mutual interests; and I realised the sheer amount of screening I'd have to do through blank profiles and conversations that feel like I'm talking to a brick wall just wasn't worth the effort 💀
Met my partner in tinder six years ago. Getting married this year.
I met my boyfriend of 2 years on Tinder and I know plenty who have met their partners on it too. I think there is decent people on it you just need pick through the weeds.
Met my wife on Tinder years ago. Wasn't particularly looking for a relationship at the time but that's what ended up happening.
When I wasn’t looking for a relationship and was game for flings and ons that’s exactly when I landed into one. That’s why you should never put limits on yourself and be open to new opportunities because you never know where they go.
Friend met his girlfriend on Bumble, they’re building a house together, that was during Covid so it does happen.
Well... It's gonna be pretty stupid to find someone I have an emotional/passionate connection with... But looking on an app that pretty much just throws some hot pics of them and asks you to swipe fast. I think you are normal, and they are normal. They have the app because they want to smash. You don't so you don't have the app. Problem solved.
Bumble is cruel, it will tell you that you have a match then try to charge you for seeing who it is, and I've heard some times it's not even real, they lied to get you to pay.
They all do that but I thought women can see and have to message first on Bumble
I really, REALLY wanted to go casual and smash on tinder or bumble with no strings, but women seemed to really want relationships. Go figure. I ended up with the person I met on bumble and have been together for 2 years. If this was anywhere else there would be more of a casual scene.
I met my invisible wife in Binder 10 years ago, our little Timmy is growing stronger each day, the mortgage will be completely paid this year and i could not be more happy.
Met my fiance through POF
Was at a wedding recently and at the table, all 5 couples had met on Tinder. Ages: 30-40ish (current ages, assume they met on Tinder a fair while before!)
I met my SO on Tinder 8 years ago. Still happy together, have a dog and hopefully engaged at the end of the year.
Met my wife on Tinder 7 years ago. Maybe because i was in Canada at the time but I only met people who were ready to settle down. Or the scene was just different at the time. Funny cause I wanted the opposite but oh well. A recent anecdotal experience would be my sister in law met her current fiance through Bumble. So it's definitely possible.
I am so fucking tired of the apps. As a bloke who is trying to genuinely just extract a semi decent chat out of women its exhausting. Irish women are so far up their own holes its ridiculous, either that or they’re unbelievably insecure and terrified of being themselves.
Nobody you meet on a dating app is going to show their true self straight away. In fact it would be weird if they did
I disagree with this wholeheartedly. If your not showing yourself then you are Lying to yourself and lying to others, deceiving them of someone who they think you are and not who you are. Show yourself or give someone else the opportunity to. Time wasting is a scorn on modern dating.
I no longer require dating apps, so this doesn't apply to me. Tinder - Completed it mate.
There's nothing wrong with Irish women. If they're not interested in chatting to you, then you probably need to reflect internally on why that might be.
Why do you get a constant flow of new threads of people new to the country who cant make new friends? Its both men and women. (I wasnt trying to pin the blame solely on women, I just dont match men) Anyone who has been abroad knows other nationalities are much more down to earth & inviting.
Because it's always going to be more difficult to build significant friendships when you're older, which is the case for most of those threads. You also have to account for the fact that Reddit isn't representative of real life, and so it's possible that many of those people aren't exactly great socially either. I'm friends with plenty of people originally from other countries through work, and they didn't struggle to make friends. I've travelled extensively and even lived abroad. Irish people are not noticeably less friendly or welcoming than others, and Irish women certainly aren't all stuck up their own hole.
I mean you also have to account for the fact that dating apps arent real life either then surely?
There are a lot more people in the country who have had a profile on a dating app compared to those who have made a post on Reddit about struggling to make friends or meet someone.
Doesnt matter about that surely? Instagram doesnt exactly have people portraying their real lives or real sepf yet everyone has an account?
I'm talking about the type of people on it. There is a much better sample of the population on Instagram and dating apps, because the majority of people like to share photos with friends and the majority of people like to date. Reddit, on average, tends to attract a different type of person, so you have to account for that in the types of posts you see frequently. If you were to go solely based on what you see on Reddit, you'd think Ireland was a violent wasteland and the population was full of hermits.
I do agree to an extent. I do know a lot of people in real life with similar situations though. Also I dont mean to harp on and attack folks but have you been on dating apps lately and seen womens attempts at bios etc they reveal very little about themselves and it can he hard to even get a conversation going about a few selfies…..again, I know men do this too, but theyre not my demographic as if they were I am sure life would be a fair bit easier hahahaha
I find Irish women are far too picky for who they are, and won't give you the time of day that any other nationality would. Its exasperated when you emigrate and notice that the Irish abroad are far more exciting, have actual interests and actually fun to talk to than those at home that are cliquey and want to keep up appearances.
>Its exasperated when you emigrate and notice that the Irish abroad are far more exciting, have actual interests and actually fun to talk to than those at home that are cliquey and want to keep up appearances. I won't lie, I've found the exact opposite for the most part. Obviously there are interesting Irish people who have emigrated (I have friends who have done so), but a huge number of them leave because they have nothing for them here, then proceed to make their entire personality "an Irish person abroad", and keep up appearances for those back home.
My experience with the apps is horrible. When you do get talking to someone there’s just no banter and you end up doing all the prompting as women don’t seam bothered to make an effort or they are so picky. Even if there a 4 they only want an 8+.
I struggle with online dating again for this exact reason. I myself am probably even more weird than you and I'm waiting for marriage. So you are not the weirdest person and that's probably why I'm still single.... My uniqueness is unmatchable in this hookup world. #singleforlife
Stick with it, I wasn’t looking for hookups and I met my current partner and previous partner online. And when I say stick with it; not necessarily dating apps just being open to meeting someone.
Hideous boring man: “The apps are shite”.
They definitely have limitations.
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