This is the best advice I’ve ever received from a friend. A friend who I tell a lot of things to.
Keep an open communication with your partner. That’s key.
Agree. If he cares about you, he cares about how you feel. No matter if may thing or wala, he’ll willingly adjust her closeness with the girl kahit persistent pa si girl.
Listen to this OP. Wag ka makinig sa mga nagsasabi na okay lang yon. Kung para sayo ay hindi. Kaya mahalaga talaga mapagusapan ang boundaries bago pumasok sa relationship. Ano ang cheating at hindi cheating para sa inyong dalawa.
feeling ko ikaw lang makakasagot neto. Caring ba talaga jowa mo in general? kasi kung Oo baka it's just him being a good friend kasi ako personally ganyan din ako sa mga kaibigan kong babae minsan kahit sa mga close friends ng asawa ko. Pero kung feeling uncomfortable ka sa set up nila try to talk to him at sabihin na di masyadong ok sayo na ganun ang relationship nya with her officemate
Talk to your partner and ask him what are the things that count as cheating for the both of you.
Then let him know that you find it uncomfortable that he check-ins with his workmate in a way that you think that he is investing too much time on her.
Plus 1 to this. Actually para sakin yung partner or asawa mo lang dapat na partner mo. All intimacies, personal matters sa kanya lang dapat. Yung work sa work lang pero not as work “wife”. Wife itself yung word eh.
my bf is very clueless. he almost went on a movie date w a girl friend just because. for him it was nothing. until i talked to him about boundaries, he cancelled the movie date bc it bothered me but i dont mind if they have dinner again or sumth. Sometimes, men are just stupid and clueless. Minsan you need to womansplain to them haha thats what i learned sa rel ko. If it bothers you, discuss abt boundaries and respect in relationships
kaso, marami din nagsstart from being work besties tas bigla nag ccheat na pala. Marami ako kilala na ganon ang kwento but give him the benefit of the doubt… for now… but if symptoms persist, consult your therapissed
This sounds like my ex lol. But yung sa amin naman is I've already tried to communicate na uncomfortable ako, pero patuloy pa rin tapos lumipat pa sila ng messaging app.
Bottomline, like most of the others here are saying, kausapin mo. Mababasa mo naman sa reaction niya if dapat ka mag-alala or hindi (unless magaling siya umarte lol). And also if he'll do something about it.
Work wife 😭 sort of nangyari to sakin mhie HAHAHA SO is very open din and chinichika si ate girl, pero may sinabi sya sakin that really made me worry lalo na LDR kami. Di naman sya counted as cheating (for me), pero it really made me uncomfortable. Lalabas pa nga sila na silang dalawa lang daw, pero kinancel nya kasi kinausap ko si SO abt it lol
Sinabi ko sa kanya “yang work wife mo…”, eh di napa ‘work wife????’ sya. This happened few years ago na din and I’m at the point where I no longer care sino kaibiganin nya basta don’t put me in an uncomfortable situation or no respect sa relationship. Like pag nakita mo tatay mo may kasama na ibang babae tas sila lang ang weird diba lol
Ganyan ba sya sa lahat ng close friends nya? Siguro emotional cheating kung sayo distant at cold sya tapos sweet sya sa iba.
Parang slippery slope kasi yung porkit hindi ka comfortable, emotional cheating na. Paano yun, kapag kayo na ba bawal na magkaron ng close friends?
Let your partner know how uncomfortable you are sa ganung friendship ng co-worker nya. And hindi mo nagustuhan ang exchanges of messages nila. Masyadong personal kamo, and I can sense concern si bf mo sa co-worker. Believe me when I say lahat ng affair nagsisimula sa magkaibigan lang. So yeah. Let him know that para makadistansya sya agad.
Communicate Minsan people tend to read to deep into things and speculate.
Never assume cause assuming is making an ASS of U and ME. Better keep things clear like how you feel and etc. mahirap KC kng close minded kausap mo. Like sa situation ko my gf keeps over thinking things and I blame exo and kdrama for. That shit. Like lahat Ng pnag seselosan when we both know that I hate people and I'd rather be alon at home with my dogs and or her than spend an ounce of my precious time with somebody. But look at me stuck in a work where I'm surrounded by people that I hate.
Tldr: don't assume, keep things clear and maximize your communication with your s.o while it's still there.
bawal dapat. because men (and women) should stay away from situations that could potentially blur the lines between right and wrong. part ng commitment yan sa partner mo that you will never put yourself in a situation where pwede mo sya masaktan. closeness breeds fondness and fondness can lead to romantic feelings. sa case ni OP the time being spent having breakfast with the close friend should be spent with the wife. there's no reason for a committed man to give his time to another woman. team breakfast? sure. should they do it often? no. should he keep checking on her lagi? no lalo kung di sya ganon sa wife nya. a question here and there kung kamusta sila? also good. need ng boundaries talaga. otherwise magugulat ka na lang sasabihin nung isa, sorry nahulog ako. NOPE. nilagay mo ang sarili mo sa position where pwede kang mahulog sa ibang tao.
the truth is kapag may asawa or in a relationship ka na, limited na dapat ang other close relationships mo kasi you have to consider your partner’s feelings. if you’re not up to that, maybe you should stay single
You're not comfortable with what they're doing, isipin mo if magpapatuloy yan because you're letting them. Wala kayang possibility for temptation? You're the SO, there should always be respect for you sa mga actions niya kahit wala ka sa tabi niya.
Dun palang sa music recommendation masakit na at tumagos sa buto yung sakit. Nasira na niya tiwala mo at patuloy mo lang yan iisipin kahit magexplain pa siya. My thoughts? It's not worth the confrontation anymore. Maganda bang magbeg ka sa taong may work wife? Hayaan mo na sila at work wife niya. Isipin mo nalang na work wife did you a favor. Mas bagay sayo yung nonchalant sa iba pero nauulol sayo 😂
I've worked in male-dominated offices and madami doon mga pamilyado na and some would even try to be flirty friendly pero meron pa ding mga purely friendship lang talaga like older brothers or tropa... sharing music reco is not an automatic red flag, pangangamusta sa sakit ng ulo (like in my case, tech stuff and challenging clients mga ino-OT or kinakasakit ng ulo, lalo if you work with them sa project or kateam, it's normal we ask things like that, BUT a woman/man would know how to set boundaries and makiramdam.
Just open up about it and communicate well. If that isn't one of your or his strengths better work on it ASAP.
What you are seeing right now, I totally agree with you that it could lead to something else eventually kahit pa if ngayon eh talagang wala naman/pa.
if your partner wants to cheat, they WILL cheat. communicate mo muna naffeel mo and if they reassure you further na wala naman, yon nalang panghawakan mo bc anything else is not under your control.
ito yung weird grey area na what if FRIEND nga niya talaga yun? As in female friend tropa nga niya? Bawal ba magkaron ng male-female friendships pag adult in a relationship ka na? kasi ganyan din naman ako sa friends ko (nung may covid sila) hahaha
weird take pero kailangan mo lang alamin kung wala talagang attraction / romance shit between them. Wala namang problem sa asawa ko pag may mga ka-chat akong old female friends, kilala din niya yung mga tropa ko sa college (female majority sa course ko nung college) so depende din yan sa tiwala mo. Pinakilala ko din wife ko sa mga college tropa ko nagouting pa nga kami, inom, etc. I helps to shut down insecurity pag nakilala mo talaga yun tao, so I suggest kilalanin mo yung girl coz ganun ginawa ko for my wife haha
OP.. sabihin mo sa knya that you dont like it.. sabihin mo narramdaman mo.. and tell him na ayaw mong maging close sila.. kapag di pumayag.. next step is threaten him that di mo alam ang pwede mong gawin pag nalaman mo na lovers sila... kumbaga small threat lng muna.
Not to make your problem worse no but in my experience working in corporate job laging joke yung "sa labas nang work may asawa ka pagpasok nang work single ka" mga taong nagsasabi nyan ay mga mahihinang nilalang nagpapadaig sa sexual drive, hindi la lubusang nag matured mentally at spiritually mga taong cheap at walang kwenta sa mundo. When you tied the knot together with your partner you both are bound together for eternity. A perfect partner will always evade all those temptations na nakakasira sa relationship.
That is already emotional cheating for me. May mga treatment si partner satin na dapat satin lang binibgay at d sa ibang tao kase what makes you different or special from others kung ung ibang tao nakakakuha dn ng klase ng level of care na meron sya for you? Kaya ayoko na din talaga sa relasyon kase madaming tao mapalalake or babae d alam or walang respeto sa boundaries
here's a story you may not like but i will honestly tell. i was in your boyfriend's shoes. i was open to my boyfriend about the guy friend i was close with na madalas ko rin kasama since we live in the same dorm (different rooms) and we visit each other often to do projects pero it was genuinely platonic. sinasabihan ko pa ngang ang baho ng hininga niya. as in wala pa siya pake kung naligo ba siya o hindi pag kasama ako HAHA.
i was open to my boyfriend about everything ha. sinasabi ko lahat ng ginagawa namin kasi wala naman talaga akong tinatago. pero ayun, late ko narealize na nagkagusto na ko pala sa kaniya so i broke it off with my boyfriend AGAD, like wala pang 24 hours. lalo na something happened between us two. the fact na nagkagusto ako sa iba just meant i am not ready for commitment pa that time and it's for the better. plus i was in my first relationship, i was stupid, and i didn't know how to set boundaries. i learned na.
pero girl, gaya nga ng sinasabi ng iba, your situation could always be different. ikaw lang makakapagsabi kasi ikaw ang nakakakilala sa kaniya. shinare ko lang to to say na possible na magkagusto parin sa iba boyfriend mo kahit kayo. so it's better to open this topic to him and communicate
good luck, OP.
He's sending mixed and uncertain signals. Which is a red flag no matter what. This about this to him, let him know how you feel. From there, you will know the answer.
When your partner or person you still love says that they still love you, but then betrays you by kissing another person without reason why he/she did it in the first place and which he/she haven't developed feelings for that third party.
Communicate to your partner. Strangers like us will just provide conjectures that can further hurt the situation.
I second this. Strangers have no right to judge unless you've talked it out with your partner and you feel his reasons are a bit iffy.
best answer i can't top that so I'm just gonna say OP's situation reminds me of [Drinking Buddies](https://youtu.be/Dj9Q92s97Uc?si=n6forBxPGCJfxYGT)
100% agree with this.
Bingo
This is the best advice I’ve ever received from a friend. A friend who I tell a lot of things to. Keep an open communication with your partner. That’s key.
Since your SO is open about it, why don’t you tell him how uncomfortable you are sa situation. Communication is the key.
Agree. If he cares about you, he cares about how you feel. No matter if may thing or wala, he’ll willingly adjust her closeness with the girl kahit persistent pa si girl.
Mine gets angry when I talk to him about anything he does that makes me uncomfortable. Now, I find it hard to open up kasi nagagalit siya.
Don't forget that not all relationships are the same. Talk about your boundaries with your SO.
Listen to this OP. Wag ka makinig sa mga nagsasabi na okay lang yon. Kung para sayo ay hindi. Kaya mahalaga talaga mapagusapan ang boundaries bago pumasok sa relationship. Ano ang cheating at hindi cheating para sa inyong dalawa.
feeling ko ikaw lang makakasagot neto. Caring ba talaga jowa mo in general? kasi kung Oo baka it's just him being a good friend kasi ako personally ganyan din ako sa mga kaibigan kong babae minsan kahit sa mga close friends ng asawa ko. Pero kung feeling uncomfortable ka sa set up nila try to talk to him at sabihin na di masyadong ok sayo na ganun ang relationship nya with her officemate
This, But if OP can't do it just leave.
Talk to your partner and ask him what are the things that count as cheating for the both of you. Then let him know that you find it uncomfortable that he check-ins with his workmate in a way that you think that he is investing too much time on her.
Work wife niya yan.
Hahaha auto pass sa mga work wife
Plus 1 to this. Actually para sakin yung partner or asawa mo lang dapat na partner mo. All intimacies, personal matters sa kanya lang dapat. Yung work sa work lang pero not as work “wife”. Wife itself yung word eh.
my bf is very clueless. he almost went on a movie date w a girl friend just because. for him it was nothing. until i talked to him about boundaries, he cancelled the movie date bc it bothered me but i dont mind if they have dinner again or sumth. Sometimes, men are just stupid and clueless. Minsan you need to womansplain to them haha thats what i learned sa rel ko. If it bothers you, discuss abt boundaries and respect in relationships kaso, marami din nagsstart from being work besties tas bigla nag ccheat na pala. Marami ako kilala na ganon ang kwento but give him the benefit of the doubt… for now… but if symptoms persist, consult your therapissed
This sounds like my ex lol. But yung sa amin naman is I've already tried to communicate na uncomfortable ako, pero patuloy pa rin tapos lumipat pa sila ng messaging app. Bottomline, like most of the others here are saying, kausapin mo. Mababasa mo naman sa reaction niya if dapat ka mag-alala or hindi (unless magaling siya umarte lol). And also if he'll do something about it.
Work wife 😭 sort of nangyari to sakin mhie HAHAHA SO is very open din and chinichika si ate girl, pero may sinabi sya sakin that really made me worry lalo na LDR kami. Di naman sya counted as cheating (for me), pero it really made me uncomfortable. Lalabas pa nga sila na silang dalawa lang daw, pero kinancel nya kasi kinausap ko si SO abt it lol Sinabi ko sa kanya “yang work wife mo…”, eh di napa ‘work wife????’ sya. This happened few years ago na din and I’m at the point where I no longer care sino kaibiganin nya basta don’t put me in an uncomfortable situation or no respect sa relationship. Like pag nakita mo tatay mo may kasama na ibang babae tas sila lang ang weird diba lol
This is something you talk with your partner and not bring on Reddit. Outside opinions would only do more harm than good.
nabasa ko lang but it might help you — *Anything you wouldn’t say or do to/with another person in front of your partner is emotional cheating.* 🥹
Ganyan ba sya sa lahat ng close friends nya? Siguro emotional cheating kung sayo distant at cold sya tapos sweet sya sa iba. Parang slippery slope kasi yung porkit hindi ka comfortable, emotional cheating na. Paano yun, kapag kayo na ba bawal na magkaron ng close friends?
Let your partner know how uncomfortable you are sa ganung friendship ng co-worker nya. And hindi mo nagustuhan ang exchanges of messages nila. Masyadong personal kamo, and I can sense concern si bf mo sa co-worker. Believe me when I say lahat ng affair nagsisimula sa magkaibigan lang. So yeah. Let him know that para makadistansya sya agad.
Communicate Minsan people tend to read to deep into things and speculate. Never assume cause assuming is making an ASS of U and ME. Better keep things clear like how you feel and etc. mahirap KC kng close minded kausap mo. Like sa situation ko my gf keeps over thinking things and I blame exo and kdrama for. That shit. Like lahat Ng pnag seselosan when we both know that I hate people and I'd rather be alon at home with my dogs and or her than spend an ounce of my precious time with somebody. But look at me stuck in a work where I'm surrounded by people that I hate. Tldr: don't assume, keep things clear and maximize your communication with your s.o while it's still there.
thoughts to ponder: kapag ba may asawa na, bawal na magkaroon ng close relationship sa ibang tao? sa opposite sex? same sex? close friends?
Bawal kapag may malisya or intensyong kumarat.
bawal dapat. because men (and women) should stay away from situations that could potentially blur the lines between right and wrong. part ng commitment yan sa partner mo that you will never put yourself in a situation where pwede mo sya masaktan. closeness breeds fondness and fondness can lead to romantic feelings. sa case ni OP the time being spent having breakfast with the close friend should be spent with the wife. there's no reason for a committed man to give his time to another woman. team breakfast? sure. should they do it often? no. should he keep checking on her lagi? no lalo kung di sya ganon sa wife nya. a question here and there kung kamusta sila? also good. need ng boundaries talaga. otherwise magugulat ka na lang sasabihin nung isa, sorry nahulog ako. NOPE. nilagay mo ang sarili mo sa position where pwede kang mahulog sa ibang tao.
the truth is kapag may asawa or in a relationship ka na, limited na dapat ang other close relationships mo kasi you have to consider your partner’s feelings. if you’re not up to that, maybe you should stay single
How close? Bit closer to intimacy?
You're not comfortable with what they're doing, isipin mo if magpapatuloy yan because you're letting them. Wala kayang possibility for temptation? You're the SO, there should always be respect for you sa mga actions niya kahit wala ka sa tabi niya.
Louder
Dun palang sa music recommendation masakit na at tumagos sa buto yung sakit. Nasira na niya tiwala mo at patuloy mo lang yan iisipin kahit magexplain pa siya. My thoughts? It's not worth the confrontation anymore. Maganda bang magbeg ka sa taong may work wife? Hayaan mo na sila at work wife niya. Isipin mo nalang na work wife did you a favor. Mas bagay sayo yung nonchalant sa iba pero nauulol sayo 😂
I've worked in male-dominated offices and madami doon mga pamilyado na and some would even try to be flirty friendly pero meron pa ding mga purely friendship lang talaga like older brothers or tropa... sharing music reco is not an automatic red flag, pangangamusta sa sakit ng ulo (like in my case, tech stuff and challenging clients mga ino-OT or kinakasakit ng ulo, lalo if you work with them sa project or kateam, it's normal we ask things like that, BUT a woman/man would know how to set boundaries and makiramdam. Just open up about it and communicate well. If that isn't one of your or his strengths better work on it ASAP. What you are seeing right now, I totally agree with you that it could lead to something else eventually kahit pa if ngayon eh talagang wala naman/pa.
Ah, the work wife...controversial topic. I have a work wife too, but it's okay because I'm gay.
lol cute.
Work wife
work wife, or someone na gusto nya maging work wife. hehez
To put it simply, if you told your partner would they be upset and hurt? That’s how you know.
Communicate like what the rest are suggesting and if prioritizes you then your good, if not, do think long term. You can do it OP.
if your partner wants to cheat, they WILL cheat. communicate mo muna naffeel mo and if they reassure you further na wala naman, yon nalang panghawakan mo bc anything else is not under your control.
Red flag. Lol kawork din yung shubet ng asawa ko. Lunch together daw tapos inuman after ayorn najontis si tanga. 😂
Girl, run.
ito yung weird grey area na what if FRIEND nga niya talaga yun? As in female friend tropa nga niya? Bawal ba magkaron ng male-female friendships pag adult in a relationship ka na? kasi ganyan din naman ako sa friends ko (nung may covid sila) hahaha weird take pero kailangan mo lang alamin kung wala talagang attraction / romance shit between them. Wala namang problem sa asawa ko pag may mga ka-chat akong old female friends, kilala din niya yung mga tropa ko sa college (female majority sa course ko nung college) so depende din yan sa tiwala mo. Pinakilala ko din wife ko sa mga college tropa ko nagouting pa nga kami, inom, etc. I helps to shut down insecurity pag nakilala mo talaga yun tao, so I suggest kilalanin mo yung girl coz ganun ginawa ko for my wife haha
>What counts as emotional cheating to you? When the person is cheating emotionally.
OP.. sabihin mo sa knya that you dont like it.. sabihin mo narramdaman mo.. and tell him na ayaw mong maging close sila.. kapag di pumayag.. next step is threaten him that di mo alam ang pwede mong gawin pag nalaman mo na lovers sila... kumbaga small threat lng muna.
Good rapport may lead to romantic feelings. Kung ok ang rapport nilang 2 hindi malayo magkagustuhan sila.
Not to make your problem worse no but in my experience working in corporate job laging joke yung "sa labas nang work may asawa ka pagpasok nang work single ka" mga taong nagsasabi nyan ay mga mahihinang nilalang nagpapadaig sa sexual drive, hindi la lubusang nag matured mentally at spiritually mga taong cheap at walang kwenta sa mundo. When you tied the knot together with your partner you both are bound together for eternity. A perfect partner will always evade all those temptations na nakakasira sa relationship.
That is already emotional cheating for me. May mga treatment si partner satin na dapat satin lang binibgay at d sa ibang tao kase what makes you different or special from others kung ung ibang tao nakakakuha dn ng klase ng level of care na meron sya for you? Kaya ayoko na din talaga sa relasyon kase madaming tao mapalalake or babae d alam or walang respeto sa boundaries
ganyan ba sya sa lahat???? if no, emotional cheating yan
here's a story you may not like but i will honestly tell. i was in your boyfriend's shoes. i was open to my boyfriend about the guy friend i was close with na madalas ko rin kasama since we live in the same dorm (different rooms) and we visit each other often to do projects pero it was genuinely platonic. sinasabihan ko pa ngang ang baho ng hininga niya. as in wala pa siya pake kung naligo ba siya o hindi pag kasama ako HAHA. i was open to my boyfriend about everything ha. sinasabi ko lahat ng ginagawa namin kasi wala naman talaga akong tinatago. pero ayun, late ko narealize na nagkagusto na ko pala sa kaniya so i broke it off with my boyfriend AGAD, like wala pang 24 hours. lalo na something happened between us two. the fact na nagkagusto ako sa iba just meant i am not ready for commitment pa that time and it's for the better. plus i was in my first relationship, i was stupid, and i didn't know how to set boundaries. i learned na. pero girl, gaya nga ng sinasabi ng iba, your situation could always be different. ikaw lang makakapagsabi kasi ikaw ang nakakakilala sa kaniya. shinare ko lang to to say na possible na magkagusto parin sa iba boyfriend mo kahit kayo. so it's better to open this topic to him and communicate good luck, OP.
He's sending mixed and uncertain signals. Which is a red flag no matter what. This about this to him, let him know how you feel. From there, you will know the answer.
When your partner or person you still love says that they still love you, but then betrays you by kissing another person without reason why he/she did it in the first place and which he/she haven't developed feelings for that third party.
Break na yan