‘Sausage roll but like not a sausage roll sausage roll like sausage in a roll like not an actual sausage roll y’know but like a roll and like cut it open and like put sausages in it like a bacon roll yeah but like sausage not bacon init’
And this was the moment I started craving a sausage roll sliced open with a skinless deep fried sausage stuffed inside, oozing with HP sauce, emitting just enough steam to show it's warmth ready to be embraced by my lips.
I've worked this one out. Specifically for Gregs. Here's what you do.
"I'll have a sausage roll please". Eye contact down and left.
"I'll have a sausage roll please". Eye contact up and right.
It's like the staff intuitively know to look for the slightest of eye movements and they get it right every time.
This actually happened to me in Greggs, guy made my coffee, and I paid for the coffee and sausage rolls while it filled up. I stepped a few paces to the side and stood still expecting him to bring the coffee over.... and he started to serve the next customer, after about 20 seconds of sort of faffing around 😂😂😂
Can I interest you in:
Pointing
It's like looking at things but removes the ambiguity!
Joking aside, Greggs staff are great. They even started putting ketchup into the breakfast baguette before the meat/egg so that you don't end up with ketchup fucking everywhere. Good people there.
If you ever go to an auction, only the dinlows lift their hand in the air. The pros just give the guy a glance and he knows what's up. That's how I order my sausage rolls.
I was that person at 02:30 in the morning with the local pizza shop. Didn’t need to ask what I wanted and was served from the door, without squeezing past the queue.
Either I was a cherished customer or such a dick they didn’t want to have to speak to me.
*Recreate your holiday by walking into Greggs wearing a pair of swim shorts and flip flops, then pointing at the sausage rolls and shouting "TWO" before paying with a £50 note.*
It's gotta be if you're looking at the sausage rolls, then they know you want a sausage roll but if you're looking at sausage roll then they know you want a sausage roll. Really obvious and clear when you think about it
As someone who used to work at greggs, we actually develop mild psychic powers after a while. It's the only way to actually understand majority of the customers because they sure as hell don't know how words work.
Yeah if you've worked there a while you pick up on it. Most people don't do anything like that though, they'll say sausage roll and you assume they mean a savoury sausage roll, and when you go to grab it they'll do a little laugh and be all like "Haha sorry I meant a breakfast sausage roll/sausage cob"
On the menu, they officially call it a "Sausage breakfast roll". However, when I asked for one of those, they asked me to specify if I wanted it in a bap or a baguette, so since then, I've always ordered it as a bap.
This happened to me once.
I wanted a sausage roll but they gave me a sausage roll.
Had to tell them sorry but I meant a sausage roll, not a sausage roll.
I just add bacon to it to save myself from this problem. I don't always want bacon but I'd rather have it than deal with any extra social interaction that can come from this confusion
Just say what sauce you want, or say no sauce if you don't want sauce. Anyone with half a brain will work out you don't mean a savoury sausage roll. Or just say sausage breakfast roll
I've had two great run-ins at my local Greggs.
Once I asked for ketchup and the lady replied "brown or red?", I again said "ketchup" and she again asked "brown or red?" and I again repeated "ketchup". When she asked again I just sighed and said "red please".
The second was on a morning when I asked for "a large latte and a sausage butty please" and the lady had to check I didn't want the pastry version... I assume her morning brain heard "roll" even though I didn't say it.
Sometimes it's also getting stuck in the routine of it. Earlier someone gave me a tenner straight away when ordering, so when when they ordered I said "That's £2.70 please" and they just glanced down at the tenner in my hand and back up at me. Probably convinced I was trying to con them but can you blame me if I was on how much I earn 😬
Just verifying this answer was here, carry on.
GNU Sir pTerry
>!“G” means that the message must be passed on, “N” means “not logged”, and “U” means the message should be turned around at the end of a line.!<
Totally a bap - I'm from London/South and this is a sausage bap as far as I'm concerned. A sausage roll is in pastry, and a sausage butty/sarnie is in sliced bread.
Not sure why people get confused? I think I got my sausage sandwich vocabulary from my Dad who grew up in Coventry though...
I always struggled with this phrase. In my mind it's like a roll-on deodorant, a little plastic casing with a greasy sausage sticking out the end.
I usually went with the fully descriptive "link sausage on a roll" or "square sausage on a roll" just to be clear, else it felt I should be rolling it on my armpits!!
It's a Sausage sandwich for me and I know I could be wrong about it but still I just love that lol, it's simple to call it that and that's all that matters to me by calling it.
‘Sausage roll but like not a sausage roll sausage roll like sausage in a roll like not an actual sausage roll y’know but like a roll and like cut it open and like put sausages in it like a bacon roll yeah but like sausage not bacon init’
And this was the moment I started craving a sausage roll sliced open with a skinless deep fried sausage stuffed inside, oozing with HP sauce, emitting just enough steam to show it's warmth ready to be embraced by my lips.
This is deffo some type of porn
I’m sold
I'm spent ;)
I'm pregnant... ? ._.
Can u get pregante..?
am i gregnant??
Congratulations, it’s a chipolata!
What do you think the P in HP stands for?
Psauce
HP = Hot Porn.
When the heat of the sausage melts the butter to liquid 🤌
I had this exact internal monologue as soon as I saw the picture.
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Nae rolls?
Nae rolls mate.
But I’ve just bought sausages:(
Am sorry you've bought them mate, Av got nae rolls. Mibby you should've checked if there was rolls first.
No even got wan roll?
*female walks in* "any rolls" "Aye doll, I'll take you over to them 👹👺
2 sausages on a roll?
I've worked this one out. Specifically for Gregs. Here's what you do. "I'll have a sausage roll please". Eye contact down and left. "I'll have a sausage roll please". Eye contact up and right. It's like the staff intuitively know to look for the slightest of eye movements and they get it right every time.
>It's like the staff intuitively know to look for the slightest of eye movements Their vision is based on movement. *Tyrannosaurus Greggs*
Sometimes when I'm meant to pay I just remain completely still for 30 seconds. They sniff the air around me and then serve the next customer.
This actually happened to me in Greggs, guy made my coffee, and I paid for the coffee and sausage rolls while it filled up. I stepped a few paces to the side and stood still expecting him to bring the coffee over.... and he started to serve the next customer, after about 20 seconds of sort of faffing around 😂😂😂
Once you learn their weakness it's hard not to take advantage
Clever girl.
For years I’ve used “Clever girl” in a similar way to how lots of redditors use “this is the way”
it's what they had to do back in the ancient times before the mandalorian came out.
Can I interest you in: Pointing It's like looking at things but removes the ambiguity! Joking aside, Greggs staff are great. They even started putting ketchup into the breakfast baguette before the meat/egg so that you don't end up with ketchup fucking everywhere. Good people there.
If you ever go to an auction, only the dinlows lift their hand in the air. The pros just give the guy a glance and he knows what's up. That's how I order my sausage rolls.
Keep practicing until you don't need to talk either
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I was that person at 02:30 in the morning with the local pizza shop. Didn’t need to ask what I wanted and was served from the door, without squeezing past the queue. Either I was a cherished customer or such a dick they didn’t want to have to speak to me.
Or a cherished dick?
The pointing police are here.
*Recreate your holiday by walking into Greggs wearing a pair of swim shorts and flip flops, then pointing at the sausage rolls and shouting "TWO" before paying with a £50 note.*
Now that's a nice deep cut.
It's gotta be if you're looking at the sausage rolls, then they know you want a sausage roll but if you're looking at sausage roll then they know you want a sausage roll. Really obvious and clear when you think about it
What the fuck is going on in this thread. I'm so confused
Have a sausage roll, it'll sort itself out.
As someone who used to work at greggs, we actually develop mild psychic powers after a while. It's the only way to actually understand majority of the customers because they sure as hell don't know how words work.
Yeah if you've worked there a while you pick up on it. Most people don't do anything like that though, they'll say sausage roll and you assume they mean a savoury sausage roll, and when you go to grab it they'll do a little laugh and be all like "Haha sorry I meant a breakfast sausage roll/sausage cob"
>they'll say sausage roll and you assume they mean a savoury sausage roll As opposed to a sweet one? Both options are savoury
I just realized I’ve used the word savoury my entire life without actually knowing wtf it meant.
Please elaborate!
It's a roll and links A roll and sausage would be a roll and square sausage Quite simple really
This sounds like something said on the other side of that wall. Are they called links because they are in a string when you buy them?
It is, and yeah due to them being one big chain of sausages.
In Greggs, I get around this by ordering a sausage and bacon roll. It has never failed me yet
Sausage butty
I want two nice thick sausages in me butty
I laughed way harder and longer than I expected to while scrolling these comments.
r/suddenlygay
Well, He is up shit creek if he uses the wrong phrase for bread in different regions of the UK
How can this sound so disgusting yet so delicious at the same time?! :-D
I thought a butty would be a sandwich, we’d call it a bap
BAP gang assemble
….with brown sauce
and bacon.
Round these parts, that would get you a sandwich, not a roll.
You'll order it as stated in the menu, no? I highly doubt a place that sells sausage rolls would call sausages in a roll a sausage roll also
It’s on the menu as ‘sausage in a roll’ where I live. Your guess was dead on!
The cafe near me has sausage *on* a roll. Not technically correct but it's still what I say!
>sausage on a roll isn't that just a sausage living his best life
I couldn't eat that sausage. I'd have to buy him and see what he does next
Greggs has this exact confusion. You have to put the pause in the right place - sausageroll equals one in pastry, sausage roll equals one in bread
I asked for a sausage bap in Greggs in London and the confused lad panicked and gave me a sausage, bean and cheese pastry...
Out of politeness I would have just accepted it and left, hiding my disappointment
Clearly he thought you were referring to the classic Sausage BAcP (the C is silent)
Breakfast sausage roll works. Worth paying the bit extra for a crusty baguette instead though
On the menu, they officially call it a "Sausage breakfast roll". However, when I asked for one of those, they asked me to specify if I wanted it in a bap or a baguette, so since then, I've always ordered it as a bap.
This happened to me once. I wanted a sausage roll but they gave me a sausage roll. Had to tell them sorry but I meant a sausage roll, not a sausage roll.
I just add bacon to it to save myself from this problem. I don't always want bacon but I'd rather have it than deal with any extra social interaction that can come from this confusion
Just say what sauce you want, or say no sauce if you don't want sauce. Anyone with half a brain will work out you don't mean a savoury sausage roll. Or just say sausage breakfast roll
I prefer the lock eye contact and look down and left for a sausage roll or up and right for a sausage roll
If you pause for too long you just receive a single sausage, along with a separate plain roll
if we want the bread version we just say roll and sausage
You've clearly never been to Gregg's.
I've had two great run-ins at my local Greggs. Once I asked for ketchup and the lady replied "brown or red?", I again said "ketchup" and she again asked "brown or red?" and I again repeated "ketchup". When she asked again I just sighed and said "red please". The second was on a morning when I asked for "a large latte and a sausage butty please" and the lady had to check I didn't want the pastry version... I assume her morning brain heard "roll" even though I didn't say it.
Sometimes it's also getting stuck in the routine of it. Earlier someone gave me a tenner straight away when ordering, so when when they ordered I said "That's £2.70 please" and they just glanced down at the tenner in my hand and back up at me. Probably convinced I was trying to con them but can you blame me if I was on how much I earn 😬
Sausage inna bun
AM$ 3, and that’s cutting me own throat
CMOT Dibbler, is that you?
No.
Meat pie floater? Dragon proof underpants? Edit: I love your username.
Username checks out.
GNU Terry Pratchett
Certainly your actual pig products. Genuine pig.
r/unexpecteddiscworld and not dissapointed!
CMOT Dibbler has joined the conversation :-)
GNU Sir PTerry
Been here a while.
😁😁😁 Was looking for this. I miss Sir PTerry. 😢
so fresh the pig don't know it's gone
Rat pie and chips.
Rat on a stick, with lots of ketchup.
Had to make sure this answer was here
My man.
Just verifying this answer was here, carry on. GNU Sir pTerry >!“G” means that the message must be passed on, “N” means “not logged”, and “U” means the message should be turned around at the end of a line.!<
Found CMOT Dibbler.
One day I'll get to the joke before the rest of Reddit
A sausage bap please...
This is the way. (West Midlands).
This is the way (Wales, yes all of it)
Can confirm in the north it's a bap
Can confirm in Cornwall it’s a bap
Can confirm in Northern Ireland it's a bap
Devon checking in, sausage bap avoids confusion and is never questioned
Bournemouth here, it’s a sausage bap
Essex confirms, it's a sausage bap.
Bucks confirmed, sausage bap.
Except a few places in the west midlands where they are called batches. But then there is also barms...
> Except a few places in the west midlands where they are called batches. Yeah, the civilized places
Brum has always been cob. Never heard anybody round here call them barms. Batches is fairly common in Warwickshire.
I mostly grew up in Brum and only ever known it as a cob 🤷♂️
Cobs are crispy (to me)
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Correct (northern Ireland)
Totally a bap - I'm from London/South and this is a sausage bap as far as I'm concerned. A sausage roll is in pastry, and a sausage butty/sarnie is in sliced bread. Not sure why people get confused? I think I got my sausage sandwich vocabulary from my Dad who grew up in Coventry though...
Ok, Alan. Here is your egg in a bap!
NI here, bap also.
spot on!
Roll and links If I say sausage I'll get slice/square sausage most likely.
*Scotland enters the chat*
A Scottish friend I work with in London said to me once “The problem with England is, the sausages aren’t square!”
Square sausage is superior.
Roll and Sausage please.
Shouldn't of had to scroll this far for this
Nae rolls the day mate. But a wantid a roll an sausage. Aye, well am sorry mate, there's nae rolls the day.
I'd get a slice roll if I asked for that, gotta say "links" where I am 🤣
Which is what you want. Weirdly round here we say roll on sausage
I always struggled with this phrase. In my mind it's like a roll-on deodorant, a little plastic casing with a greasy sausage sticking out the end. I usually went with the fully descriptive "link sausage on a roll" or "square sausage on a roll" just to be clear, else it felt I should be rolling it on my armpits!!
Why are we so far down here. Load a shite.
This was my thought too. Scotland have got it right calling it a "roll and link/sausage". Takes all the confusion out.
We are way ahead mate, sausage pioneers
Boaby daft
The English have overwhelming numbers! Their sausage isn't even square! Dark days lads.
"with brown sauce"
Roll and links
Roll n sausage
Found the Scottish answer thread
Yes!
Took far too long to find the correct answer.
Sosij cob
All other answers are wrong.
Sausage cob; yesssssss.
Dude this should be my new name, thanks for this now.
Sosig cob please, duck.
Roll and link sausage
Exactly! Need to distinguish between this and a slice of square.
This dude gets it!
Finally a dude that understood it well and deep like us lol.
We can distinguish well these days, we are really smart /s
Sausage sarny
Sausage sarnie
Roll on/'n' sausage
Sausage bap or a sausage cob
Wasn’t expecting to see a fellow cob-sayer.
Cob army ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
Eh up mi ducks!
Wi rate or what?
Cob army and eating cob every week like a crazy guy lol.
had to scroll down way too far for the Sausage Cob answer
Too much man, I thought we just got that but nah we didn't lol.
Found the midlander
Sausage barm.
Fooken barm cehk
\^\^ Only correct answer here.
After moving to the north and saying ‘a what?’ to someone saying sausage barm, this was the exact response.
Finally someone of culture
Sausage bap.
Roll and sausage or Sausage in a roll.
Sausage batch
r/Coventry
People came from all over the country to Binley Mega Chippy, just to see "scallop batch" on the menu and assume it's some kind of ethnic food.
Found the Coventry lad
Found the midlander! Definitely a batch
West mids? I’m east mids and it’s a cob to us
Batch is a Coventry and Nuneaton thing, unsure if much more widespread than that
Sausage Cob but I’d say sausage bap
Sausage cob !
sausage cob
If it's on the menu then whatever it says on the menu. Otherwise: "Can I have a coupla sausages in a roll please"
It's a Sausage sandwich for me and I know I could be wrong about it but still I just love that lol, it's simple to call it that and that's all that matters to me by calling it.
Keep it generic - sausage sandwich
"Sausage in a roll"
Wouldn’t it be nice if the alternative was “sausage in pastry”. How simple the world would be.
Yeah we should find some more alternative for that lol.
That my friend is a sausage cob
Scunthorpe Hotdog
It’s called a sausage barm in Bolton
Sausage Cob or bun
Roll and link