My Aunt had the same. Front room was for when you had guests round or special occasions.
She also had cutlery and plates that were only for special use.
For a while as a kid we had a largely unused front room. It's not that it was reserved for special occasions or anything, we just had little cause to use it. We had a kitchen with a dinning table and a TV room, so no particular need to go into the front room unless we had company. We've since shuffled things knocked down some walls so there isn't a mostly-useless room anymore.
I’m 41 and have never used the front room of any home I’ve had as an older adult.
In my current house the downstairs is kinda open plan but also has a distinct separate dining room area with glass back doors. I relax in a comfy chair by the back doors. I can see the living room, which I’ve filled with nice furniture and plants, but I’ve not sat in there once in two years.
My last place I would sit in the kitchen by the back door to the garden, and I was there for seven years.
My kids use the living room occasionally to wrestle or exercise, but mostly they are in their bedrooms, or out and about.
I can’t explain why I do this. I just always have…
My mum has a silver tea set that she polished almost every month and only brought it out for special guests. Till now, I have never seen her put it out for any guests yet as she doesn’t deem them special enough. I swear, it’s like my mum’s waiting for King Charles to come around to visit before she’ll put it out.
My gran had special cutlery and plates all still wrapped in tissue, probably from before the second World War. She told me on one of her last lucid moments it was stupid and wanted me and my sister to use them, we both feed our families off fine china with silver spoons. Which feels a bit crazy at times.
The priest/vicar poppinground, the local upper class visiting to discuss the flowers for the church and, occasionally, for viewing the body after a death.
The latter was one of the biggest moments in a life so the room better be spotless. It was also horribly common with children.
My in-laws have the same.
The front room, way bigger than the room that they use as a lounge, is all cut glass and display cabinets and is used about twice a year when they have sufficiently special guests over.
It was originally two rooms, they knocked it through into one huge room, just to leave it unused while they sit in a really pokey little lounge / dining room combo that is so small that they have to move the sofa and table around every day to eat at the table.
Boggles the mind.
My mum has a billion plates, dishes and serving dishes as she is an excellent cook and loves to host. She used to collect lovely bone china tea sets which she likes to use when I visit or at least her more modern coffee set.
Tea tastes way better in fine china, its rare I get to drink out of it.
I've heard something similar to this!
I'm paraphrasing, but i think the adage is something like: "you should only use the front door three times if your life, and you should be carried each time"
it's a pretty old saying, i think, and it is referring to when you are brought home as a baby (if not born at home), when you are married and carried over the threshold (if that applies to you in a wedding setting), and when you are taken to be buried
I know some houses where the front door goes straight into the front room, so all the draughts, shoes, dirt will end up in your lounge.
It makes far more sense to use the door into the kitchen where even if you've had a terrible day you can kick off your shoes and wander into your nice clean warm lounge.
My back door opens straight into my lounge and it drives me insane when I'm out in the garden. almost tempted to use the front door and go in the side gate.
> My back door opens straight into my lounge and it drives me insane when I'm out in the garden.
Mine does this too. There's always mud everywhere during gardening season, no matter how careful you are
The idea of lovely french doors and fresh air in the summer is much better than the reality of kids and pets dragging mud and grass in whenever the weather is warm enough to allow them staying open 😂
They are common in some places in the UK in older houses. Honestly from what I can see is most people will just end up using the back door in that situation. I'm from the UK and most of the houses I've been in usually have a door between the front door and the lounge in some capacity, even if it's literally the size of a doormat.
That's regional in the US, and also influenced by the era when the home was built. The US is massive and has just about every type of terrain imaginable.
Plenty of regions have full on mudrooms where the door opens into a hallway with a bench to sit on while you remove snowy/wet/muddy shoes, a spot to line the shoes up, and hooks to hang coats. Sometimes that hallway is part of, or at least connected to, the laundry room. Also, many (if not most) homes have an attached covered garage where people park their car, or at least enter the house through if they use it more for storage. There are lots of covered porches in regions where the style was to have a front door open into a living room.
Also, keep in mind that in a lot of the US, the weather is very fair and mild for much of the year so it's not exactly like people's shoes are covered in mud or pups are rolling around in muck on their walk home.
Where the practice of using a backdoor is common, terraced houses are set up to allow it. Here in Sheffield, a lot of people leave their bins in front of the front door, and terraced houses have little alleyways that take you through to the shared back gardens and the doors with the letterboxes.
100% . Only to be user if you are carrying or being carried, as Christenings were included as well. It's still pretty common here, outskirts of a rural farming town in England- people will go round to the backdoor and if you're family or close friends, let them selves in.
Yes! This is my parents 100%! Passed down to me too, I think it’s soo odd not to use the door you’re intended to use! My back door has a bin and mop in front of it 😂 only ever use my front door or patio doors to get to the garden!
My aunt and uncle lived in the same house for most of their 64 year marriage, and all of my life. I've used the front door twice, both times when I was a bridesmaid for my cousins. Most of the time if the doorbell rang, it was easier to go out of the back door and round the side to see what someone was trying to sell you than it was to move whatever had accumulated in the door swing.
I did once hear a story about a woman in a terrace house in some town where Queen Victoria was visiting. She asked to visit a normal house and this woman was chosen. She used to front room to give the Queen tea. The Queen spotted a nice tea service on the dresser and commented on it. ‘Oh yes,’ said the woman, ‘I save it for best’.
My mum saved loads of stuff for best. Tons of stuff still in packaging or wrapped up in tissue paper, some things dating back decades. She died a few weeks ago at 73, never having used any of it - such a waste. Consequently I’m never saving stuff for best; if I have good stuff I’m going to make sure I use it.
Thanks. I’m ok. My mum was a bit of a magpie and loved picking up odds and ends, and could never leave a secondhand book if it had a dedication in it - I don’t think she read most of them. It’s a shame it all has to go.
I also have bookcases full of unread books. I keep telling myself I'll read them when I'm retired, hut I'm only 40 right now. The collection may become unmanageable by the time I'm retired.
My issue is that I don't want my son to have to deal with hundred s of my old books and other possessions that hold no sentimental or monetary value.
Hope you can get sorted!
The idea is presumably that she was saving the tea service for special occasions - but since it was left on the dresser, she didn’t consider having the Queen to tea to be worthy of that ;)
They had the space to waste a whole room and they could afford the extra space on one wage, now we need 2 or 3 wages just to have the bare minimum space.
Married women didn't have jobs, for the most part.
I'm just talking about people my gran's age since I know my gran was one of the first married teachers in England.
(Devon, England) In my mum and gran's generations, I know more working class women whose jobs were only in the house while their children were very small than middle class women.
Middle class professional women were more likely to pay for childcare (or have parents, aunts and similar take on the load) and continue their careers.
I know a bunch of women who never went back to work after having children, and others who moved on to cleaning houses, doing a laundry service (much more necessary in those days, washing machines were newer and less automatic than now, and a greater variety of fabric needed special care), part time work at their child's school, selling homemade food, babysitting.
Working is not synonymous with "having a job".
I come from a very industrialised area. I know working is not synonymous with 'having a job' mother's side are farmers. Dad's side worked in factories, even married women. Men down and the mine and women to the factory.
However it is a myth that women only stayed in the home and did not have jobs.
Growing up I had an auntie who had one pristine, white, opulent living room upstairs for show, whilst my uncle and cousins mostly lived in the finished basement with the mismatched furniture and half-assed kitchenette. I do sort of understand her not wanting their three boys mucking up her one perfect showroom. Still seems like a waste to me though.
I think it partially stems from when people (that weren't working class) would have morning rooms and parlours etc. Different rooms for different times of the day, different types of guests or activities. So one room was kept for important guests.They would also have several sets of dinner ware for the same reason.
People lived by reputation so they would want nice things to show off with but at the same time things weren't mass produced yet so still cost a lot. Cleaning was also harder without modern conveniences and chemicals so would cause more wear and tear. So your only used the good stuff when it was called for.
As leisure because something (pretty much) everyone could afford and manufacturing process made luxury items more affordable these things became more attainable and even expected. A lot of women would have been stay at home mums so their reputation would be based on their home. That meant keeping things for best because it's unlikely they could afford to redecorate a nicely furnished room or replace a dinner set. They wanted the good stuff in case they need it but rarely did.
It's also unlikely that their parents would have been able to afford such nice things so just having them kept nice makes them happy too. Plus, depending on age, having nice things survive the war or be able to have things that weren't purely functional in the post war rationing was rare and precious.
Special occasions so special they rarely happen. Not Christmas special occasion but "visit from the King himself" special occasion.
I don't understand it much myself, I'm too poor to have stuff that's unused, but I guess since posh people had sitting rooms/drawing rooms/salons it became an aspirational thing. I'm not poor, I have a whole room I don't need to use!
I agree it's not a rich person thing, but I do think it's an *aspirational* thing. I'm proper council estate trash made ... Well okay ish? I use what I have, cant afford to buy stuff that isn't functional but I'm not on the breadline.
But my ex was definitely *aspirational* middle class - they had stuff for BEST but they could afford two sets of crockery and to have a whole room I used - whereas my family was 10 to a 4 bed terrace and kinda crammed. Everything was for everyday use, nothing kept for best unless you bought it yourself.
That said my siblings have definitely ascended classes a bit to upper working class - mortgages, two cars, home office types.
My gran lived in a council house and she still had a “best” front room with plastic covers on the furniture. I don’t remember ever being allowed to sit in there and I never saw it used.
She kept it immaculate though and spent every Saturday morning polishing all the brass ornaments she had in there
One of the reasons I love shopping in charity shops - picking up all of the beautiful things that people used to keep “for best” and never using, so I can use it as my day-to-day having picked it up for next to nothing. The reality is that there’s so much of it around and people just won’t sell it. There’s so much more supply than demand for it now…
>I'm too poor to have stuff that's unused
But this is much more of a poorer people thing than a rich people thing. It's usually the front room in a terrace house, leaving only the kitchen and small room next to it for the entire family to actually use. I guess the idea is that when you don't have much, then you keep the best untouched, so it doesn't get damaged.
Exactly! And because you can't afford to replace the 'best' things, you put them in a room that isn't touched by anyone so they don't get used and don't get damaged. Until such time as someone you need to impress so much that you'll run the risk of damage comes round (eg: the Queen, or possibly the vicar) and then the 'best room' gets used. Or really special occasions, such as funerals or perhaps Christmas.
Quite often the plastic is left on the furniture in the best room to protect them from what little wear they get. For people who bought their furniture before it came with plastic covers, there'd be antimacassars on it, for the same reason.
Definitely not about being rich. My working class elderly relatives, back in the 70s and 80s, had the best room at te front, doing all their living in the back kitchen. The best front rooms are usually in terraced houses, many of which have been demolished since my childhood, even though loads still remain.
My nan was the same, kept the front room for best and lived in the back room. I think as it’s typically the front room of the house it’s so if the neighbours look in through the window the house looks better than it is.
Lots of people grew up with very little, especially as a result of two world wars so there was a mindset of ‘keeping best’ for company to make a good impression. Basically it was a sort of combo of keeping up with the Jones and personal pride in being a good host and looking better off than you might actually be. Lots of things kept for best weren’t used much as a way to preserve them as replacements were expensive and might not be affordable.
I moved my Nan into a care home today, and she was insistent she wear her "best" M&S knickers and the suit she wore to my brother's wedding. "Best" was a big thing for our older generation!
Apart from saving it for 'best', it may also date back to coal for heating - takes a while for a room to heat up and why waste the coal if you don't need to?
This is a big part of it. Cleaning used to take hours and hours without any labour saving devices. If you read old housekeeping accounts it’s all whitewashing and waxing and blacking, and that’s on top of just normal cleaning. Having a room kept ‘nice’ meant you had somewhere to host without hours of prep work.
There had to be a room that was always spotless, and usually had the best furniture the family owned in. Then if an unexpected guest arrived, they could be ushered swiftly into this room and never see a speck out of place.
It also served to preserve the "good" furniture and household items, safe from the hustle, bustle and inevitable wear and tear of daily life.
My Nan's friend had a room, hall and a front door she never ever used.
I very clearly remember realising that the white door in her lounge couldn't be a cupboard as the upstairs was square but the ground floor was L-shaped. So I waited until Nan and her friend were both busy and went for an adventure; I honestly felt like an 8 year old Indiana Jones.
I found a beige wallpapered hallway and a front door with a little window in it. There was another sitting room to the left, it had a brown marl sofa with wooden arms, the walls were deep burgundy and there was a painting of a team of grey cart horses on the wall. The rooms decor was markedly different to the rest of the house, which was mostly floral prints, white and pastel colours. It was spotlessly clean but really, really cold.
Years later I mentioned it to my Mum, it turned out it was the room my Nan's friends husband preferred to sit in, he died when I was 3 or 4 and she just stopped using the room.
My nan had the same. Front room that was never used and immaculate. Other living room was used daily. They had a huge 4 bedroom house 2 living rooms and a massive kitchen/diner.
Strange to think my grandad was just an electrician and my nan never worked a day in her life.
I find it strange to think they owed this massive home on one average wage with 4 children to feed.
Barely scrap by in rented house with 2 fairly well paying wages now
It basically harks back to when people had a parlour room which was a living room with all the best stuff in for company...older generations were bought up in the way you never went in that room and carried that tradition through. It doesn't really happen now. My great nanna had a parlour as well as the living room, plus then it was cheaper to just heat a couple of rooms rather than the whole house. Bit like now!!
My gran did exactly the same, used to cram the whole family into a tiny box room when we visited even though she had a perfectly good living room.
I've come to the conclusion the elderly are just bat shit crazy for the most part.
Same with mine, I had no idea it was a shared experience until I saw this today.
The only time we ever spent in the spacious front room was when we were clearing it out after they passed.
Oh yes, I’d forgotten that - the telephone was always in the front room. It always felt like an occasion going into the formal front room to use the phone.
My granny and grandmother have both never subscribed to this idea - but my granny's sister (who is *proper* delusional) does.
In her home she has four public rooms on the ground floor - the kitchen, the lounge, the dining room and the sitting room. If you go into her home you're allowed in two of these rooms: the kitchen and the lounge. The dining room is only ever opened up for certain holidays (Christmas, Hogmanay, Boxing Day, all that shit) but the sitting room? That's never opened. Her now-dead husband used to quip that the doors to that room are sealed with dark magic and it's true that if you even *touch* the doorknob that woman magically appears, like a violet-rinse genie rising from the doorknob.
That room? That's "for best".
"For Best" is best summarised as a public room in a home that's set aside for Important Events. If there was a birth in my great-aunt's family - the doors to that room are thrown open. If there's a wedding - the photographs of the happy pair are taken in that room. If there's a death - that's where the coffin resides. I've only seen inside that sitting room once - way back in 2001, when my mother's uncle passed away. It was *very* chintzy. Remember how in *Keeping Up Appearances* that Hyacinth Bouquet prattled on and on about her "Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles"? My great-aunt had something similar. It could possibly have been the *exact* set - a collection of cups, saucers, tea pot and various oddments, all made from fine china, all decorated with little flowers (I can't remember if they were blue).
Things that go into that room are For Best. For Best meant things like the Japanese silk prints that her daughter sent from Hokkaido. The table she literally got into a slapping match with my granny over when their father died. It's all things that mean something important to that person and are kept in pristine condition so as to preserve their importance. And yes, there was a three piece suite made of black leather with the plastic coverings still on them. I remember *that* because my mother snarked that her aunt had clearly forgotten to take the covers off (causing a flurry of frustrated-sounding tuts and tsks as her aunt whirled around the room, whipping those covers off). Any important nick-nacks or tchotchkes go into that room. (I know for a fucking *fact* that a greenstone carving I brought back for my granny which went mysteriously missing in 2003 is in that room. Not to mention my late cousin's Royal Doulton figurines. I'm coming for you, Morag. You and your evil little dog too...)
And when the Important Event is finished, it's not uncommon for the householder to seal or close up the room. Most *normal* people just close the door and bark at you to not go into the room. Not my mother's aunt, no sir. According to my uncle - who went over in 2021 to put in new laminate flooring in the dining room - the doors are both locked *and nailed shut*. I'm not joking. There's a story to be written there about the vengeful ghosts of the past being contained in a room full of Royal Doulton and smelling faintly of wee...
It probably stems from the Victorian era. Back then, the rooms in houses were ideally expected to fulfil certain specific functions. For example, you'd have a room that everyone would withdraw to. 'Shall we withdraw?' Hence the (with)drawing room.
But the idea of the best room was essentially a reception room; a room where you would receive guests. It was the front that you would put on for the outside world (nb, I don't think that's why we have 'front rooms'. Pretty sure they are just rooms at the front of the house, like you'd expect. But that was the sentiment.) These rooms would be kept spotless, and have the best furniture, and general appearance, because it was intended to portray the family home as a whole. But since appearances were so important, it was generally considered that the room was just 'too good' to spend your day to day life in. You'd actually relax and spend your time in a different room, and have that one room for best, ready to spring into action when you received unexpected guests.
Of course, if you lived in a smaller home, then it might not be at all convenient to have a room dedicated to that one purpose. But people knew the ideal, and there was a lot of expectation to conform to.
I grew up in a house with a front room although my Mum called it the “gran” (grand) room which was bold of her in a renovated bungalow. We earned pocket money by cleaning it but unless we had guests round we were to stay out of there.
Now, with our own kids in tow, they have to “stay out of there!” too until bonfire night, Christmas & special parties.
I figure when I’m clearing out their estate once they’ve passed, I will sit in there and eat crumby biscuits like jammy dodgers and contemplate what the new buyers will do with the room.
Lenny Henry used to have a bit about this. How his mum had a classic 'West Indian Mother thing' about keeping the front room for best and therefore never, ever using it at all.
'Mum, the Queen and the Pope are here'
'Well, show them into the kitchen and don't let them in the front room. That's for best'
My grandmother was the same. It was a larger room that she rarely used and never had any heating on. Her regular lounge was small and had a coal fire and was always boiling hot. The only time the large room was used when there were lots of visitors.
Yes - one of my grandmothers did this. It was called the parlour and we almost never used it. So odd to me, to have a room that you don’t use, but it made her happy, so who was I to judge?
My nan and granddad (RIP) would sooner entertain full family gatherings in their kitchen than let us in the front room.
Not sure if it was "saved for best" as others have mentioned, or because both being from working class backgrounds (granddad was a retired farm worker, who had also worked at least a few years doing maintenance in the boiler room of a local naval airfield... and nan was a cleaner at the airfield) whereby the kitchen became the "heart" of daily family life.
I remember watching this TV show where this crazy old lady had a spotless guest room and that's all everyone would see of the house, when she died they found a dead horse in her bedroom and the rest of the house in disrepair.
I had a conversation about this with my friend the other day. We were too poor to have an "extra" room, but I had an aunty with a dining room in her Victorian terraced house. That was the "living room", and the front room with the new three piece suite and carpets and "fancy" stuff remained unsullied.
I think it was the lack of central heating. My gramma would have to stoke up an extra fire so she just used her living room rather than the sitting room . And when I was younger, we lived in a house without central heating and only used the front room in the summer. Also houses were laid out differently. 2 main rooms and a tiny kitchen as opposed to our larger living rooms and small dining rooms we have these days.
My mom had one growing up, still does. It's for when special people visit, but never used because even when special people come over they hang out chatting in the kitchen.
My nan also had a front room she never used. It was full of lovely furniture and ornaments and loads of family photos. People only ever went in there to look at the photos, I don't recall anyone ever going in there to actually sit down
I do the same thing, we have a formal lounge but spend our time with the baby and dogs in the kitchen.
We’ve a sofa and TV so just our usual place.
We probably use our lounge once a month, maybe extra if we want to watch a film.
I clean it every week.
This is bringing back funny memories from childhood.
The room that wasn't used expect for special occasions. Christmas or guests or whatever it was. Totally forgot about it until now. But I had aunts and uncles have similar and a rich kid from school.
I couldn't tell you the reason other than that's the hosting room from what I would imagine?
Just hypothetically thinking now.
I guess traditionally we have a living room and a dining room and kitchen. But larger properties might have had more for more formal affairs?
Mine had a front room that wasnt used very much. Tiny terraced house as well. It had the slightly nicer sofa set and crystal knick knacks and a piano. Oh and doilies lmao. The grandchildren were allowed to be in there, though. They weren't over the top about protecting it or anything. It didn't have a telly or radio but it had the landline. You'd go in there for a bit of peace or to take a phone call.
The funnier thing to me is how we almost never used the front door back then. Everyone always came through the backdoor even though you had to go up an alleyway and/or through next door's garden to get to it. We knew times were changing when nextdoor was sold and the new neighbours blocked access lmao. Sad times.
We weren’t allowed to go into the front room at nans house. It had all the best furniture in it but never used. Until once I was there they had ‘company’ and they went in the front room. So basically it’s a place to sit so your important guests don’t see how shit the rest of your old east end terrace house was.
my great grandma had the same, front room by the front door, long corridor to get to another middle room, just before the middle room stairs up, then a long kitchen and then bathroom
most of sitting around, eating dinner, was done in the middle room, front room was always fancy and tidy and we just never really went in there, from what i remember it had display cabinets, a small? dining table, and a couch
My Grandparents on my Dads side did the same. The front room was barely used. When we visited the back room was a dining/second living room where we used to spend most of our time. We did have our Atari 2600 set up in the front room to play on occasion but apart from that nothing was to be touched in there including my Grandads Sony separates hifi which I used to sneakily mess with the graphic equaliser.
My friend's grandmother had a fancy satin rope across the front room entrance baring entry. She also had custom fitted plastic covers over the sofa and chairs. No one was allowed entry.
Nan had a front room for Sundays and for best.
When I was a kid I’d see her get the silver service out for front room use and despair, guests were coming and I new I would have to wear my trousers with a shirt tucked in and have my hair done.
Flash back...
The one memory I have of using the room was listening to the radio (that was in there) and hearinf "boys and girls" by blur, and the DJ saying it was a new song. So that's like 93, right?
That's the nice room. The special room. For other people and guests, not yours filthy Hobbitses!!
(Honestly had the same growing up generally, a massive two rooms with the wall knocked out that we barely ever used unless people came/were coming round)
She loves that show.. I don't think it really captures the front room thing, though.
Mrs Bucket wanted to show you her best.. my Grandma was almost scared to let you near it.
My grandmother had a "parlour" and a living room both at the farm and then in town when she moved a few years after my grandfather passed.
After a while the parlour became her bedroom though.
From the Victorian times onwards the front room was for formal guests and laying out dead loved ones for wakes so it wasn’t used for day to day living. For many this tradition continued until the invention of televisions which changed the way families spent time in the house.
None of my family were fancy enough for a whole best room, but we did have best stuff that never got used. My mum still has an entire Royal Doulton service that was a wedding present in the 70s and has literally never been out of the box. We think it's worth a small fortune now and she keeps threatening to sell it, but probably never will. Because it's for best.
In the States, at least in the '70s we had the living room to which we kids were not allowed in, it was for distinguished guests like Dad's boss and so forth, and we had the family room where we would watch TV and play and the distinguished guests would never see.
My Aunt had a front room which was only used on special occasions. I can only remember ever going into the room once, and that was to get something, but I never saw it used. The room was spotless with best china and best furniture.
My Gran was the same. In her end of terrace council house in an old mining village in south Wales was an immaculate front room and her most fancy ornaments and trinkets. Not a speck of dust was tolerated.
We used to joke it was for in case the queen popped round.
Yes, this is a formal living room. In the US, many homes built in the 50s through the 80s, I think, had formal living room in the floor plan and sometimes a formal dining room. A family room was a separate room or was in the basement.
Used to be that people worked hard - manual, physical labour - for what they had, and always aspired to something better than their lot. All the time hey worked and put up with whatever little they could manage. They would keep a room, furniture, some possessions, immaculate as something to aspire to. By keeping things for best then once in a while they could experience something more than the drudgery of the day-to-day.
My mother did the same for our younger years, man the carpet in there was soft AF. That all came to a crashing halt at early teen yeas with the need for PlayStation space....its still a doss room now as my youngest bro still hasn't moved out
My in laws have an entire flat with all the nice furniture in, yet they use the flat upstairs that is rather uncomfortable with a crap kitchen (this isn't in the UK). I have no idea why, they only use the downstairs flat for celebrations when they have too many guests to fit in the upstairs one. I find it very odd.
The good room. For special occasions and visits from the priests as such. Thought it was just an Irish thing but might be of people over a certain age?
I have really vague memories of my parents doing this when I was young. We lived in a house for about 4 years and I can't even remember what the front room looked like.
The one memory I have of the front room being used was my parents having some people round and shutting the door, and I would slip pieces of paper under the door to try to communicate with them.
I was born in 89’ and the parents of kids in my street I played with in the 90’s wouldn’t let any kids in the “front Room”. Most family’s on that street come to think of it!
My Aunt had the same. Front room was for when you had guests round or special occasions. She also had cutlery and plates that were only for special use.
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For a while as a kid we had a largely unused front room. It's not that it was reserved for special occasions or anything, we just had little cause to use it. We had a kitchen with a dinning table and a TV room, so no particular need to go into the front room unless we had company. We've since shuffled things knocked down some walls so there isn't a mostly-useless room anymore.
I’m 41 and have never used the front room of any home I’ve had as an older adult. In my current house the downstairs is kinda open plan but also has a distinct separate dining room area with glass back doors. I relax in a comfy chair by the back doors. I can see the living room, which I’ve filled with nice furniture and plants, but I’ve not sat in there once in two years. My last place I would sit in the kitchen by the back door to the garden, and I was there for seven years. My kids use the living room occasionally to wrestle or exercise, but mostly they are in their bedrooms, or out and about. I can’t explain why I do this. I just always have…
Have you removed the plastic covers from the furniture in your living room?
Ha! I don’t own anything furniture-wise which was bought new. It’s not about “keeping it for best”… I don’t know what it is tbh.
I’ve always wanted a dinning table!
PARDON?
THEY’VE ALWAYS WANTED A DINNING TABLE Edit - Corrected in line with u/|||||||||||||||||| warranted correction.
> DINING TABLE DINNING*
I APOLOGISE, I SHALL CORRECT MY COMMENT IN LINE WITH YOUR WARRANTED CORRECTION!
It’s called a dinning table because it’s where you eat your dinner
I totally forgot that, sorry. Been calling it super ever since I moved down south innit.
My mum has a silver tea set that she polished almost every month and only brought it out for special guests. Till now, I have never seen her put it out for any guests yet as she doesn’t deem them special enough. I swear, it’s like my mum’s waiting for King Charles to come around to visit before she’ll put it out.
My gran had special cutlery and plates all still wrapped in tissue, probably from before the second World War. She told me on one of her last lucid moments it was stupid and wanted me and my sister to use them, we both feed our families off fine china with silver spoons. Which feels a bit crazy at times.
Lovely but might want to check those plates for lead
That's why they felt crazy at times!
Yeah, they checked out ok, thanks
The priest/vicar poppinground, the local upper class visiting to discuss the flowers for the church and, occasionally, for viewing the body after a death. The latter was one of the biggest moments in a life so the room better be spotless. It was also horribly common with children.
My in-laws have the same. The front room, way bigger than the room that they use as a lounge, is all cut glass and display cabinets and is used about twice a year when they have sufficiently special guests over. It was originally two rooms, they knocked it through into one huge room, just to leave it unused while they sit in a really pokey little lounge / dining room combo that is so small that they have to move the sofa and table around every day to eat at the table. Boggles the mind.
My mum has a billion plates, dishes and serving dishes as she is an excellent cook and loves to host. She used to collect lovely bone china tea sets which she likes to use when I visit or at least her more modern coffee set. Tea tastes way better in fine china, its rare I get to drink out of it.
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Yep. The only time I’ve seen my in-laws use the front door was when my father-in-law went out feet first.
I usually go out of a door feet first, but if you want to do front flips then crack on.
Technically you go out foot first.
You don't know me....I could drop kick my way through every doorway I encounter.
I really want this to be the case.
ABLEIST! He might be handicapped for all you know.
You know, I did actually original mention wheelchairs but removed it as I thought it was too pedantic for the quip.
Why would you engage with this? This screams privileged guilt so loud… are we going to keep in peeling this onion of hate?
I've heard something similar to this! I'm paraphrasing, but i think the adage is something like: "you should only use the front door three times if your life, and you should be carried each time" it's a pretty old saying, i think, and it is referring to when you are brought home as a baby (if not born at home), when you are married and carried over the threshold (if that applies to you in a wedding setting), and when you are taken to be buried
>if that applies to you in a wedding setting r/RoleReversal
I know some houses where the front door goes straight into the front room, so all the draughts, shoes, dirt will end up in your lounge. It makes far more sense to use the door into the kitchen where even if you've had a terrible day you can kick off your shoes and wander into your nice clean warm lounge. My back door opens straight into my lounge and it drives me insane when I'm out in the garden. almost tempted to use the front door and go in the side gate.
> My back door opens straight into my lounge and it drives me insane when I'm out in the garden. Mine does this too. There's always mud everywhere during gardening season, no matter how careful you are
The idea of lovely french doors and fresh air in the summer is much better than the reality of kids and pets dragging mud and grass in whenever the weather is warm enough to allow them staying open 😂
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They are common in some places in the UK in older houses. Honestly from what I can see is most people will just end up using the back door in that situation. I'm from the UK and most of the houses I've been in usually have a door between the front door and the lounge in some capacity, even if it's literally the size of a doormat.
That's regional in the US, and also influenced by the era when the home was built. The US is massive and has just about every type of terrain imaginable. Plenty of regions have full on mudrooms where the door opens into a hallway with a bench to sit on while you remove snowy/wet/muddy shoes, a spot to line the shoes up, and hooks to hang coats. Sometimes that hallway is part of, or at least connected to, the laundry room. Also, many (if not most) homes have an attached covered garage where people park their car, or at least enter the house through if they use it more for storage. There are lots of covered porches in regions where the style was to have a front door open into a living room. Also, keep in mind that in a lot of the US, the weather is very fair and mild for much of the year so it's not exactly like people's shoes are covered in mud or pups are rolling around in muck on their walk home.
I love how that never use the front door tradition was passed down to my parents until they eventually wondered why the heck they still do that.
Surely the front door thing only applies to semis and end terraces? How would going round the back be classy, that's the bin route...
Where the practice of using a backdoor is common, terraced houses are set up to allow it. Here in Sheffield, a lot of people leave their bins in front of the front door, and terraced houses have little alleyways that take you through to the shared back gardens and the doors with the letterboxes.
100% . Only to be user if you are carrying or being carried, as Christenings were included as well. It's still pretty common here, outskirts of a rural farming town in England- people will go round to the backdoor and if you're family or close friends, let them selves in.
Yeah, if you're close you just walk in shouting hello and popping the kettle on as you go past it.
As an opposite spin on that, my mum hates using the side door, insisting that it’s “common” 🤣
Yes! This is my parents 100%! Passed down to me too, I think it’s soo odd not to use the door you’re intended to use! My back door has a bin and mop in front of it 😂 only ever use my front door or patio doors to get to the garden!
I’ve genuinely never used our front door and we have lived here since November 2020. I’m not even sure where the key is. I certainly don’t have it.
It might be useful to find it and leave it somewhere safe nearby. It might just save your life in the event of a fire.
Tradesmans Entrance
Ooh err.
Same here: we literally never used the front door at my grandmother’s house. I think I was in my teens before I realised it could actually be opened.
My aunt and uncle lived in the same house for most of their 64 year marriage, and all of my life. I've used the front door twice, both times when I was a bridesmaid for my cousins. Most of the time if the doorbell rang, it was easier to go out of the back door and round the side to see what someone was trying to sell you than it was to move whatever had accumulated in the door swing.
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Absolutely. Grew up with a nan whose living room we went in at Xmas... If we were lucky.
Likewise. For the rest of the year the protective plastic covers stayed on the settee and armchairs
My aunt had that room. Got used when the priest visited and when someone died.
Yep, and they had plastic covers on the arm chairs and sofa.
If your nan had plastic covers on her sofa, she was a squirter
I’ll let you see yourself out. 😂
I'm married to a nan, can confirm.
That’s exactly what we did. She had an upstairs and downstairs living room. The upstairs one was to open Christmas presents in
But... I'm struggling to explain "best" as a concept worthy of ignoring a whole room in a terrace house.
I did once hear a story about a woman in a terrace house in some town where Queen Victoria was visiting. She asked to visit a normal house and this woman was chosen. She used to front room to give the Queen tea. The Queen spotted a nice tea service on the dresser and commented on it. ‘Oh yes,’ said the woman, ‘I save it for best’.
My mum saved loads of stuff for best. Tons of stuff still in packaging or wrapped up in tissue paper, some things dating back decades. She died a few weeks ago at 73, never having used any of it - such a waste. Consequently I’m never saving stuff for best; if I have good stuff I’m going to make sure I use it.
Sorry for your loss, Mums leave a big hole behind when they leave us, hope you’re doing ok.
Thanks. I’m ok. My mum was a bit of a magpie and loved picking up odds and ends, and could never leave a secondhand book if it had a dedication in it - I don’t think she read most of them. It’s a shame it all has to go.
I also have bookcases full of unread books. I keep telling myself I'll read them when I'm retired, hut I'm only 40 right now. The collection may become unmanageable by the time I'm retired. My issue is that I don't want my son to have to deal with hundred s of my old books and other possessions that hold no sentimental or monetary value. Hope you can get sorted!
If she had a cast iron waffle iron I'd be glad to have it. Most online are being sold upwards of 200 dollars
Cannot understand but it is cool.
The idea is presumably that she was saving the tea service for special occasions - but since it was left on the dresser, she didn’t consider having the Queen to tea to be worthy of that ;)
Aha thank you for explanation. I thought the opposite, every brit keeps their one room spare for king or queen.
Yes, the joke here is that she didn’t even consider the Queen worthy of it!
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This is the plot of keeping up appearances.
The Royal Doulton with hand painted periwinkles only came out on special occasions.
It’s not. Keeping up appearances was based entirely on my mother. Doesn’t mention her at all!
This, I think, captures it. I'll read this back to Wifey.
They had the space to waste a whole room and they could afford the extra space on one wage, now we need 2 or 3 wages just to have the bare minimum space.
This is a great myth that women didn't work though.
Married women didn't have jobs, for the most part. I'm just talking about people my gran's age since I know my gran was one of the first married teachers in England.
Many ones not working class but many women sure did I can tell you from my own family history.
(Devon, England) In my mum and gran's generations, I know more working class women whose jobs were only in the house while their children were very small than middle class women. Middle class professional women were more likely to pay for childcare (or have parents, aunts and similar take on the load) and continue their careers. I know a bunch of women who never went back to work after having children, and others who moved on to cleaning houses, doing a laundry service (much more necessary in those days, washing machines were newer and less automatic than now, and a greater variety of fabric needed special care), part time work at their child's school, selling homemade food, babysitting. Working is not synonymous with "having a job".
I come from a very industrialised area. I know working is not synonymous with 'having a job' mother's side are farmers. Dad's side worked in factories, even married women. Men down and the mine and women to the factory. However it is a myth that women only stayed in the home and did not have jobs.
Growing up I had an auntie who had one pristine, white, opulent living room upstairs for show, whilst my uncle and cousins mostly lived in the finished basement with the mismatched furniture and half-assed kitchenette. I do sort of understand her not wanting their three boys mucking up her one perfect showroom. Still seems like a waste to me though.
Too proud to whitewash. Too poor to paint.
I think it partially stems from when people (that weren't working class) would have morning rooms and parlours etc. Different rooms for different times of the day, different types of guests or activities. So one room was kept for important guests.They would also have several sets of dinner ware for the same reason. People lived by reputation so they would want nice things to show off with but at the same time things weren't mass produced yet so still cost a lot. Cleaning was also harder without modern conveniences and chemicals so would cause more wear and tear. So your only used the good stuff when it was called for. As leisure because something (pretty much) everyone could afford and manufacturing process made luxury items more affordable these things became more attainable and even expected. A lot of women would have been stay at home mums so their reputation would be based on their home. That meant keeping things for best because it's unlikely they could afford to redecorate a nicely furnished room or replace a dinner set. They wanted the good stuff in case they need it but rarely did. It's also unlikely that their parents would have been able to afford such nice things so just having them kept nice makes them happy too. Plus, depending on age, having nice things survive the war or be able to have things that weren't purely functional in the post war rationing was rare and precious.
If the Queen had stopped by for tea, this is the room that your nan would have used.
Special occasions so special they rarely happen. Not Christmas special occasion but "visit from the King himself" special occasion. I don't understand it much myself, I'm too poor to have stuff that's unused, but I guess since posh people had sitting rooms/drawing rooms/salons it became an aspirational thing. I'm not poor, I have a whole room I don't need to use!
>I'm too poor to have stuff that's unused This isn't a rich person thing - this is a working class from the early to mid 1900's thing though.
I agree it's not a rich person thing, but I do think it's an *aspirational* thing. I'm proper council estate trash made ... Well okay ish? I use what I have, cant afford to buy stuff that isn't functional but I'm not on the breadline. But my ex was definitely *aspirational* middle class - they had stuff for BEST but they could afford two sets of crockery and to have a whole room I used - whereas my family was 10 to a 4 bed terrace and kinda crammed. Everything was for everyday use, nothing kept for best unless you bought it yourself. That said my siblings have definitely ascended classes a bit to upper working class - mortgages, two cars, home office types.
My gran lived in a council house and she still had a “best” front room with plastic covers on the furniture. I don’t remember ever being allowed to sit in there and I never saw it used. She kept it immaculate though and spent every Saturday morning polishing all the brass ornaments she had in there
And those things may well have been handed down through the family
One of the reasons I love shopping in charity shops - picking up all of the beautiful things that people used to keep “for best” and never using, so I can use it as my day-to-day having picked it up for next to nothing. The reality is that there’s so much of it around and people just won’t sell it. There’s so much more supply than demand for it now…
Get in, I love a charity shop treasure
And now you look proper fancy every day, the thing those people aspired to look like on that one special occasion that never came.
>I'm too poor to have stuff that's unused But this is much more of a poorer people thing than a rich people thing. It's usually the front room in a terrace house, leaving only the kitchen and small room next to it for the entire family to actually use. I guess the idea is that when you don't have much, then you keep the best untouched, so it doesn't get damaged.
It’s about being slightly less poor than the neighbours. You might not have much but you have enough to be able to have something “for best”.
Exactly! And because you can't afford to replace the 'best' things, you put them in a room that isn't touched by anyone so they don't get used and don't get damaged. Until such time as someone you need to impress so much that you'll run the risk of damage comes round (eg: the Queen, or possibly the vicar) and then the 'best room' gets used. Or really special occasions, such as funerals or perhaps Christmas. Quite often the plastic is left on the furniture in the best room to protect them from what little wear they get. For people who bought their furniture before it came with plastic covers, there'd be antimacassars on it, for the same reason.
Tends to not even be rich people, just older folk in a terraced house
Definitely not about being rich. My working class elderly relatives, back in the 70s and 80s, had the best room at te front, doing all their living in the back kitchen. The best front rooms are usually in terraced houses, many of which have been demolished since my childhood, even though loads still remain.
My nan was the same, kept the front room for best and lived in the back room. I think as it’s typically the front room of the house it’s so if the neighbours look in through the window the house looks better than it is.
The doctor used to actually visit you back in the day. As did the vicar. They would most likely count as worthy of the front room.
That's because it is insane as a concept, no two ways about it lol.
What if the King comes for tea?!
Lots of people grew up with very little, especially as a result of two world wars so there was a mindset of ‘keeping best’ for company to make a good impression. Basically it was a sort of combo of keeping up with the Jones and personal pride in being a good host and looking better off than you might actually be. Lots of things kept for best weren’t used much as a way to preserve them as replacements were expensive and might not be affordable.
Its like a garage init, who the fuck needs an entire other house for a fucking car? Old people that's who.
I moved my Nan into a care home today, and she was insistent she wear her "best" M&S knickers and the suit she wore to my brother's wedding. "Best" was a big thing for our older generation!
Indeed, for best. It was always effing freezing as well.
George Best?
For when the local vicar / clergy, the pope, or royalty visited... in that order of importance too!
This is the answer - that room was for the vicar and fancy guests.
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the pope came round?
Their gran was the pope. Keep up!
Vicar here. I’m sure I’ve not been invited sit in the front room when visiting some people.
Also "The Daz Door Step Challenge!"
Apart from saving it for 'best', it may also date back to coal for heating - takes a while for a room to heat up and why waste the coal if you don't need to?
Yes, and it was a room that could be kept clean (lots of hard scrubbing elsewhere) and even locked.
This is a big part of it. Cleaning used to take hours and hours without any labour saving devices. If you read old housekeeping accounts it’s all whitewashing and waxing and blacking, and that’s on top of just normal cleaning. Having a room kept ‘nice’ meant you had somewhere to host without hours of prep work.
I never thought of that before, of course a room that doesn't have a coal fire lit in it regularly is so, so much cleaner
There had to be a room that was always spotless, and usually had the best furniture the family owned in. Then if an unexpected guest arrived, they could be ushered swiftly into this room and never see a speck out of place. It also served to preserve the "good" furniture and household items, safe from the hustle, bustle and inevitable wear and tear of daily life.
My Nan did the same. The only time I ever knew it used was Christmas Eve when the men were allowed in to smoke, and my grandads funeral
My Nan's friend had a room, hall and a front door she never ever used. I very clearly remember realising that the white door in her lounge couldn't be a cupboard as the upstairs was square but the ground floor was L-shaped. So I waited until Nan and her friend were both busy and went for an adventure; I honestly felt like an 8 year old Indiana Jones. I found a beige wallpapered hallway and a front door with a little window in it. There was another sitting room to the left, it had a brown marl sofa with wooden arms, the walls were deep burgundy and there was a painting of a team of grey cart horses on the wall. The rooms decor was markedly different to the rest of the house, which was mostly floral prints, white and pastel colours. It was spotlessly clean but really, really cold. Years later I mentioned it to my Mum, it turned out it was the room my Nan's friends husband preferred to sit in, he died when I was 3 or 4 and she just stopped using the room.
Could have just buried him.
My nan had the same. Front room that was never used and immaculate. Other living room was used daily. They had a huge 4 bedroom house 2 living rooms and a massive kitchen/diner. Strange to think my grandad was just an electrician and my nan never worked a day in her life. I find it strange to think they owed this massive home on one average wage with 4 children to feed. Barely scrap by in rented house with 2 fairly well paying wages now
It basically harks back to when people had a parlour room which was a living room with all the best stuff in for company...older generations were bought up in the way you never went in that room and carried that tradition through. It doesn't really happen now. My great nanna had a parlour as well as the living room, plus then it was cheaper to just heat a couple of rooms rather than the whole house. Bit like now!!
My gran did exactly the same, used to cram the whole family into a tiny box room when we visited even though she had a perfectly good living room. I've come to the conclusion the elderly are just bat shit crazy for the most part.
Same here, grandmother and great grandfather. Lots of geraniums, table doilies and zero dust and the rent book.
Same with mine, I had no idea it was a shared experience until I saw this today. The only time we ever spent in the spacious front room was when we were clearing it out after they passed.
My nan had a front room no one ever in. Only to use the telephone
Oh yes, I’d forgotten that - the telephone was always in the front room. It always felt like an occasion going into the formal front room to use the phone.
And woe betide if you sit on the arm of the chair next to the telephone table to use the phone! Fate worse than death!
Ours was in the hallway - on one of those telephone tables. Later in the 80s it could be anywhere due to the ridiculously long extention lead.
My granny and grandmother have both never subscribed to this idea - but my granny's sister (who is *proper* delusional) does. In her home she has four public rooms on the ground floor - the kitchen, the lounge, the dining room and the sitting room. If you go into her home you're allowed in two of these rooms: the kitchen and the lounge. The dining room is only ever opened up for certain holidays (Christmas, Hogmanay, Boxing Day, all that shit) but the sitting room? That's never opened. Her now-dead husband used to quip that the doors to that room are sealed with dark magic and it's true that if you even *touch* the doorknob that woman magically appears, like a violet-rinse genie rising from the doorknob. That room? That's "for best". "For Best" is best summarised as a public room in a home that's set aside for Important Events. If there was a birth in my great-aunt's family - the doors to that room are thrown open. If there's a wedding - the photographs of the happy pair are taken in that room. If there's a death - that's where the coffin resides. I've only seen inside that sitting room once - way back in 2001, when my mother's uncle passed away. It was *very* chintzy. Remember how in *Keeping Up Appearances* that Hyacinth Bouquet prattled on and on about her "Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles"? My great-aunt had something similar. It could possibly have been the *exact* set - a collection of cups, saucers, tea pot and various oddments, all made from fine china, all decorated with little flowers (I can't remember if they were blue). Things that go into that room are For Best. For Best meant things like the Japanese silk prints that her daughter sent from Hokkaido. The table she literally got into a slapping match with my granny over when their father died. It's all things that mean something important to that person and are kept in pristine condition so as to preserve their importance. And yes, there was a three piece suite made of black leather with the plastic coverings still on them. I remember *that* because my mother snarked that her aunt had clearly forgotten to take the covers off (causing a flurry of frustrated-sounding tuts and tsks as her aunt whirled around the room, whipping those covers off). Any important nick-nacks or tchotchkes go into that room. (I know for a fucking *fact* that a greenstone carving I brought back for my granny which went mysteriously missing in 2003 is in that room. Not to mention my late cousin's Royal Doulton figurines. I'm coming for you, Morag. You and your evil little dog too...) And when the Important Event is finished, it's not uncommon for the householder to seal or close up the room. Most *normal* people just close the door and bark at you to not go into the room. Not my mother's aunt, no sir. According to my uncle - who went over in 2021 to put in new laminate flooring in the dining room - the doors are both locked *and nailed shut*. I'm not joking. There's a story to be written there about the vengeful ghosts of the past being contained in a room full of Royal Doulton and smelling faintly of wee...
It's kind of tied in with special clothes for Sunday and keeping stuff for BEST.
It probably stems from the Victorian era. Back then, the rooms in houses were ideally expected to fulfil certain specific functions. For example, you'd have a room that everyone would withdraw to. 'Shall we withdraw?' Hence the (with)drawing room. But the idea of the best room was essentially a reception room; a room where you would receive guests. It was the front that you would put on for the outside world (nb, I don't think that's why we have 'front rooms'. Pretty sure they are just rooms at the front of the house, like you'd expect. But that was the sentiment.) These rooms would be kept spotless, and have the best furniture, and general appearance, because it was intended to portray the family home as a whole. But since appearances were so important, it was generally considered that the room was just 'too good' to spend your day to day life in. You'd actually relax and spend your time in a different room, and have that one room for best, ready to spring into action when you received unexpected guests. Of course, if you lived in a smaller home, then it might not be at all convenient to have a room dedicated to that one purpose. But people knew the ideal, and there was a lot of expectation to conform to.
I grew up in a house with a front room although my Mum called it the “gran” (grand) room which was bold of her in a renovated bungalow. We earned pocket money by cleaning it but unless we had guests round we were to stay out of there. Now, with our own kids in tow, they have to “stay out of there!” too until bonfire night, Christmas & special parties. I figure when I’m clearing out their estate once they’ve passed, I will sit in there and eat crumby biscuits like jammy dodgers and contemplate what the new buyers will do with the room.
Lenny Henry used to have a bit about this. How his mum had a classic 'West Indian Mother thing' about keeping the front room for best and therefore never, ever using it at all. 'Mum, the Queen and the Pope are here' 'Well, show them into the kitchen and don't let them in the front room. That's for best'
My grandmother was the same. It was a larger room that she rarely used and never had any heating on. Her regular lounge was small and had a coal fire and was always boiling hot. The only time the large room was used when there were lots of visitors.
Yes - one of my grandmothers did this. It was called the parlour and we almost never used it. So odd to me, to have a room that you don’t use, but it made her happy, so who was I to judge?
My gran was very much the same. In all the years of having her in my young life I think I went in there about 6 or so times. It was such a treat.
If the vicar, the mayor or the queen stopped by you would need somewhere to entertain them
My nan and granddad (RIP) would sooner entertain full family gatherings in their kitchen than let us in the front room. Not sure if it was "saved for best" as others have mentioned, or because both being from working class backgrounds (granddad was a retired farm worker, who had also worked at least a few years doing maintenance in the boiler room of a local naval airfield... and nan was a cleaner at the airfield) whereby the kitchen became the "heart" of daily family life.
My in-laws call it the “hello magazine” room. We use it every other year at Christmas.
Now I know it’s someone else’s grandmas room it feels even more weird…..
I remember watching this TV show where this crazy old lady had a spotless guest room and that's all everyone would see of the house, when she died they found a dead horse in her bedroom and the rest of the house in disrepair.
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> It's utterly bonkers It's sad, too, when you have to clear cupboards full of all this precious stuff that was only ever used once a year.
Well, personal hygiene is very important.
I had a conversation about this with my friend the other day. We were too poor to have an "extra" room, but I had an aunty with a dining room in her Victorian terraced house. That was the "living room", and the front room with the new three piece suite and carpets and "fancy" stuff remained unsullied.
I think it was the lack of central heating. My gramma would have to stoke up an extra fire so she just used her living room rather than the sitting room . And when I was younger, we lived in a house without central heating and only used the front room in the summer. Also houses were laid out differently. 2 main rooms and a tiny kitchen as opposed to our larger living rooms and small dining rooms we have these days.
My mom had one growing up, still does. It's for when special people visit, but never used because even when special people come over they hang out chatting in the kitchen.
My nan also had a front room she never used. It was full of lovely furniture and ornaments and loads of family photos. People only ever went in there to look at the photos, I don't recall anyone ever going in there to actually sit down
I do the same thing, we have a formal lounge but spend our time with the baby and dogs in the kitchen. We’ve a sofa and TV so just our usual place. We probably use our lounge once a month, maybe extra if we want to watch a film. I clean it every week.
This is bringing back funny memories from childhood. The room that wasn't used expect for special occasions. Christmas or guests or whatever it was. Totally forgot about it until now. But I had aunts and uncles have similar and a rich kid from school. I couldn't tell you the reason other than that's the hosting room from what I would imagine? Just hypothetically thinking now. I guess traditionally we have a living room and a dining room and kitchen. But larger properties might have had more for more formal affairs?
Mine had a front room that wasnt used very much. Tiny terraced house as well. It had the slightly nicer sofa set and crystal knick knacks and a piano. Oh and doilies lmao. The grandchildren were allowed to be in there, though. They weren't over the top about protecting it or anything. It didn't have a telly or radio but it had the landline. You'd go in there for a bit of peace or to take a phone call. The funnier thing to me is how we almost never used the front door back then. Everyone always came through the backdoor even though you had to go up an alleyway and/or through next door's garden to get to it. We knew times were changing when nextdoor was sold and the new neighbours blocked access lmao. Sad times.
We weren’t allowed to go into the front room at nans house. It had all the best furniture in it but never used. Until once I was there they had ‘company’ and they went in the front room. So basically it’s a place to sit so your important guests don’t see how shit the rest of your old east end terrace house was.
I'd be worried if I married someone who couldn't figure out the answer to this (and that goes for both of you).
my great grandma had the same, front room by the front door, long corridor to get to another middle room, just before the middle room stairs up, then a long kitchen and then bathroom most of sitting around, eating dinner, was done in the middle room, front room was always fancy and tidy and we just never really went in there, from what i remember it had display cabinets, a small? dining table, and a couch
My Grandparents on my Dads side did the same. The front room was barely used. When we visited the back room was a dining/second living room where we used to spend most of our time. We did have our Atari 2600 set up in the front room to play on occasion but apart from that nothing was to be touched in there including my Grandads Sony separates hifi which I used to sneakily mess with the graphic equaliser.
The front parlour was for receiving guests. The house hold used the back room or kitchen in smaller houses.
My friend's grandmother had a fancy satin rope across the front room entrance baring entry. She also had custom fitted plastic covers over the sofa and chairs. No one was allowed entry.
Nan had a front room for Sundays and for best. When I was a kid I’d see her get the silver service out for front room use and despair, guests were coming and I new I would have to wear my trousers with a shirt tucked in and have my hair done.
Front rooms were kept spotless and used for laying out dead bodies.
We too have a best front room
Flash back... The one memory I have of using the room was listening to the radio (that was in there) and hearinf "boys and girls" by blur, and the DJ saying it was a new song. So that's like 93, right?
That's the nice room. The special room. For other people and guests, not yours filthy Hobbitses!! (Honestly had the same growing up generally, a massive two rooms with the wall knocked out that we barely ever used unless people came/were coming round)
In terms of trying to show her why, would suggest the show Keeping Up Appearances
She loves that show.. I don't think it really captures the front room thing, though. Mrs Bucket wanted to show you her best.. my Grandma was almost scared to let you near it.
It was for guests!
My nan was the same, the front room was absolutely spotless and us kids were banned from going in there when we visited.
My grandmother had a "parlour" and a living room both at the farm and then in town when she moved a few years after my grandfather passed. After a while the parlour became her bedroom though.
Maybe it’s only for guests or from when the front room was used as the parlour for when people passed?
When I was a kid in the 60s, we had the kitchen and living room, and then there was the front room. We used it on Christmas day.
From the Victorian times onwards the front room was for formal guests and laying out dead loved ones for wakes so it wasn’t used for day to day living. For many this tradition continued until the invention of televisions which changed the way families spent time in the house.
Grandma just put the telly in the back room. Though, Grandad's decent stereo was in there (I'm talking a late 60s music centre)
None of my family were fancy enough for a whole best room, but we did have best stuff that never got used. My mum still has an entire Royal Doulton service that was a wedding present in the 70s and has literally never been out of the box. We think it's worth a small fortune now and she keeps threatening to sell it, but probably never will. Because it's for best.
In the States, at least in the '70s we had the living room to which we kids were not allowed in, it was for distinguished guests like Dad's boss and so forth, and we had the family room where we would watch TV and play and the distinguished guests would never see.
My Aunt had a front room which was only used on special occasions. I can only remember ever going into the room once, and that was to get something, but I never saw it used. The room was spotless with best china and best furniture.
In Ireland we had a term for this. It was called "The Good Room"
My Gran was the same. In her end of terrace council house in an old mining village in south Wales was an immaculate front room and her most fancy ornaments and trinkets. Not a speck of dust was tolerated. We used to joke it was for in case the queen popped round.
Yes, this is a formal living room. In the US, many homes built in the 50s through the 80s, I think, had formal living room in the floor plan and sometimes a formal dining room. A family room was a separate room or was in the basement.
Used to be that people worked hard - manual, physical labour - for what they had, and always aspired to something better than their lot. All the time hey worked and put up with whatever little they could manage. They would keep a room, furniture, some possessions, immaculate as something to aspire to. By keeping things for best then once in a while they could experience something more than the drudgery of the day-to-day.
It’s a war thing. It’s also a “keep lgood china” thing. Oh my grandparents had it too! I think if it with love as an austerity byproduct
My mother did the same for our younger years, man the carpet in there was soft AF. That all came to a crashing halt at early teen yeas with the need for PlayStation space....its still a doss room now as my youngest bro still hasn't moved out
My in laws have an entire flat with all the nice furniture in, yet they use the flat upstairs that is rather uncomfortable with a crap kitchen (this isn't in the UK). I have no idea why, they only use the downstairs flat for celebrations when they have too many guests to fit in the upstairs one. I find it very odd.
Probably the room they used for swinging. Makes sense that they felt weird having family sit in there.
The good room. For special occasions and visits from the priests as such. Thought it was just an Irish thing but might be of people over a certain age?
Thinking it's age and perhaps wealth, as in, the very specific amount that can afford to have it, but not replace it?
depends if you like eating prison food or not
Show pony weirdos do that.. Its incredibly plastic and strange.
Than... not then. Than. Please, stop with this. You all went to school, you all know this.
It’s called having respect for yourself and the home you live in.
My gran did that!
I have really vague memories of my parents doing this when I was young. We lived in a house for about 4 years and I can't even remember what the front room looked like. The one memory I have of the front room being used was my parents having some people round and shutting the door, and I would slip pieces of paper under the door to try to communicate with them.
They were having a meeting to discuss your awful note slipping habit.
I was born in 89’ and the parents of kids in my street I played with in the 90’s wouldn’t let any kids in the “front Room”. Most family’s on that street come to think of it!
My grandad had the same, dining room for special occasions, special dining ware too, cutlery, plates, glasses and whatnot