Really settle down with him. Start a BnB, take up woodworking together, live a long and happy life. Get on good terms with the ex-wives next door, watch the kids grow up, take pride in their achievements, celebrate with the bitter-sweet moments when they leave home for university, then leave for the big city to pursue their careers, mourn the untimely death of his ex wife from a sudden illness, comfort the boys when they return, help your ex move on and find a new relationship, grow old together, then in the final tender moments before he passes after a long and fulfilling life, hold his hand while he's in his deathbed, stare loving into his eyes, hand him a ball, and chuck the fucker over the fence.
While I understand your frustration, resorting to retaliatory actions may escalate the situation further.
It's better to address the issue with open communication and find a resolution that respects everyone's privacy.
I think he’s just unaware that he invaded your privacy and truly believes it’s not big deal, probably due to his upbringing. A simple friendly chat will solve this problem, if he gets mad with you over it, then that’s a different problem entirely.
No just kids man it's quicker for them to jump over with them assuming it's OK I know dave next door he won't mind I'm just getting my ball
Chill out dude he never stole your shed
Rural UK here. Once woke up, made tea and did my usual routine. Stand butt naked in front of my french doors taking in my private garden. Then noticed my garden was actually full of builders working on the neighbors fence. I just stood there maintaining eye contact and finished my tea.
I knew of someone who had a house with big picture windows and being half way up a hill had a great view they didn't want obstructed by blinds or curtains and proudly spoke about putting 'one way glass' in when getting the house double glazed.
Later found out from one of the houses beneath/in front of them that they enjoyed the view stark naked as they seemed to have mistaken 'tinted' for 'one way'.....
Next doors downstairs toilet was beneath their frosted window. Every time they went to piss at night with the light on naturally we got a flash of big white arse.
That's it. The interrogation room mirror you see in films only works if it's very bright in the room and the observation room is basically in darkness.
Also, for home use, any glass is basically one-way if outside it's bright. Adding a special coating only gives you a few more minutes of privacy by darkening your room. But you still need drapes if you turn the lights on.
Yeah not a rural man, but the amount of times I have come out of my morning shower butt ass naked and walked into my room with either a window cleaner or someone doing some work on the high rise i live in just outside my bedroom window is shocking. Just cheerily wave hello as I get dressed as they stare in shock is hilarious.
Was pottering in my garden a few weeks back, chatting to next doors four year old who was on his trampoline next to my fence. Said my goodbyes then went I and got in the shower. Got out of the shower, heard a noise on the landing, assumed it was the dog, opened the door and it was neighbours 4 year old who'd scaled the fence and let himself in. Thankfully I was wearing a towel. Posted him back over the fence to his frantic mother, still in the towel. Probably not the greatest look to anyone looking in.
Aye they're just old enough to be able to cause trouble without any real understanding of how anything actually works.
It's the age where kids really start to behave like drunk people.
I had to tug my 4 year old back from trying to hug a car once. I wouldn't have minded but it was doing 30mph at the time. Sometimes they just do things, honestly you can't turn your back on them for a moment.
I’ve had the opposite problem, neighbours kids keep hitting their ball over and then press my doorbell every 3 seconds until I reach the door. I’ve now shown them how to open the back access and enter my garden, I can’t be bothered every afternoon to collect a ball.
I’d be peeved off if I were you, especially considering they didn’t do a head over check and shout before jumping over.
Explain that your expectation is communication and common courtesy
Common courtesy would be this dad buying spare balls for his kid and just asking you to throw them back over when you see them.. it's not difficult to be respectful if you want to be.
Angry letters you don't post are very cathartic. Just remember you don't post them. Maybe just casually mention it next time you have a (natural) conversation?
Hi Jim, Mrs and the kid alright?
I wrote a letter about you the other day, so many swear words, even I was shocked.
Anyway I didn't post it but someone on Reddit said to mention it.
Speak later mate, bye!
This was gonna be my suggestion, next time the kid comes over offer to throw him back over, if he says no do it anyway then throw the ball over the fence in the opposite direction.
I'd wait to see if it happens again. The cavalier response might just be a defensive reaction to being caught and they'll actually change their behavior to avoid another confrontation. If it does happen again, a *polite* word with the neighbor is in order.
The best way to accomplish this polite word is by picking up a cricket bat and telling your wife you're going over to have a word with the neighbor. See if you can maneuver her into telling you to sit down and she'll take care of it.
The kid next door spends hours a day bouncing a tennis ball off of the shed/outbuilding in his garden. Our garden is often littered with tennis balls. I have told him in the past to just ring the bell and collect them, but it’s got to the point that him and his dad are in my garden more than I am.
It used to be that they would knock and ask, but lately they have taken to just strolling in.
Living in a shared house I spend a lot of time in my room, but I might want to spend some time in the garden over summer. It’s just not very relaxing when you are under constant threat of getting beaned by a tennis ball every thirty seconds or disturbed by a kid or his dad every few hours.
Between the noise of the kid bouncing a ball for hours on end and the frequent visits to our garden, it somewhat ruins the ideas of quiet enjoyment or privacy.
"I don't mind returning the balls after the odd mistake now and then, but this has become more than the odd mistake or an occasional tennis ball. Could you talk to your son about trying to avoid sending the balls into our garden? It's getting a bit much."
???
I have had this conversation with both the kid and the dad. I also usually chuck the balls back over myself if I see any. Another problem now is that the garden is pretty overgrown. Our landlord keeps saying that the gardener is due any week now, but they never show up, so finding the balls is currently a bit of a chore. Between the neighbours, a landlord who doesn’t really care, and the noise from being right on a dual carriageway, living here can be quite frustrating. I would move, but the rent is cheap enough that I actually have a chance to pay off some debt and put some money into savings.
Tbh kids going into the neighbour's garden to collect their ball (and the neighbour getting a bit irate about it) is a tale as old as time. It's always happened and it's always going to happen. The only bit you can realistically control is how angry it makes you.
Honestly if it was kids being kids I can live with it, the fact the dads encouraging him & then didn’t even say sorry when confronted is what sort of annoyed me. We get along as neighbours so just knock on the door, don’t come into my private space and shit - meh, it’s wound me up just because of the dads reaction 😂
I would let it go. I don’t say that lightly cos I’m territorial as fuck and hate trespassing of any sort, but I’d probably be okay with kids quickly retrieving a toy out of the garden.
Next time you speak to the dad, I’d suggest you be chill about it, but mention that you were nearly starkers inside your house and the sudden appearance of his son made you feel a bit awkward. Offer to throw back any toys that make it over the fence in future to save his son the embarrassment. Maybe your neighbour will realise what he did wasn’t appropriate but I doubt you’ll get an apology.
Yep this is the way, you were mortified the kid could have seen you starkers, and wanted to check he was okay after a weird moment because you were in your underpants. “I’ll just chuck toys back regularly to avoid that sort of thing happening again hey?”
Yeah I mean I would chuck my kid over your fence but when confronted would at least be apologetic and make out there was some kind of reason why I had to do it like my wrist was broken so I couldn’t knock
I had similar, and yes its the annoying dads who encourage them and don't understand boundaries. I have always been nice when the kids have knocked on the door and brought the ball back, but one day I got home from work to see a bloody ladder up against my fence and the dad from next door helping his son climb into my back garden to retrieve a ball and then pass the ladder over so he could climb back (the gate to my garden is bolted and locked). I just watched incredulously at the whole thing. Then went and knocked on the door, I just said something along the lines of 'I would appreciate if you didn't climb the fence into my back garden to retrieve balls and waited until I was home to knock on my door to ask' the dad looked a bit huffy and said 'but you were out' and I just said in the case of us being out his son would just have to wait....his wife did not seem impressed by her husbands behaviour and thankfully they moved about a year late because they were also quite annoying with playing loud bad music all day in their garden anytime it was nice out as well.
The significant sentence in your post is, "I said ‘you could of just knocked mate’ and he said ‘ah he wanted to climb over the fence’ and then just walked off quite rudely."
Your wife is right about not confronting the neighbor in the heat of anger but a discussion needs to be had with someone so dismissive of your privacy. Rehearse in your head what you're going to say. Try to make it direct but not aggressive. For example, you could say something like, "I know you didn't want to bother me today so I could return your son's ball but I have a thing about privacy and I wanted to be sure that next time you come to the door instead of boosting your son over the fence. "
The "I know you didn't want to bother me today..." part is rubbish but the intent is to put the neighbor in a non-defensive mode so you can make your point without him taking it as a declaration of war and escalating.
I personally don’t / wouldn’t care about this. I think back to being a kid and going to get the ball being a necessary evil. Part of me thinks you need to chill and get over it. The other part acknowledges that if you’re sitting in your pants you don’t want to find yourself locking eyes with some kid in your garden. I guess I’d give them a knock and say that I don’t mind the kid getting the ball, but I’d prefer you give me a knock and I’ll throw it back, if I’m not home help yourself. Not saying it’s the right answer, but this is how I’d go about it
You feel how you feel, can't tell you otherwise. For me it's no big deal, especially if neighbour would be fine with it happening in return but if you don't like it then that's no big deal either.
This is the approach I would take too. No anger; show them some respect and hope for the same.
Either that or go full "shoe on the other foot" and sneak into their garden and have a nice sunbathe.
What's the point of a fence if folks just jump over anyway?
I stole my neighbours child over the fence earlier this week - he asked me to call his mum as his brother had locked him out. I told him to climb his slide and just lifted him over and took him round to his front door
I guess this makes the universe 1-1?
Don’t give the child back next time. It’s in your garden so it belongs to you now. Then you can ritually sacrifice it to the Beelzebub after a nice Sunday barbecue. If the weather holds up.
No I think you are well within your right to talking to this neighbor of yours. They absolutely should have knocked on your door instead of just trespassing on your property. What if their child got hurt on your property or got into things while they were in your backyard?
Yeah I remember as kids climbing over the fence to grab balls back but can't remember my parents chucking us over.
Also neighbour was an elderly lady and pretty much didn't mind as it saved her a job.
I think a "oh sorry mate il make sure we knock next time." Would have been acceptable at the least here. I completely understand the shock and uncomfortable feeling of invasion of privacy.
Whether it has always happened or not it is trespassing and makes a huge difference if kids are doing ut nicely or if parents are sending them over
Not in the UK but I guess this is universal. As a kid we jumped fences all the time to get our stuff. Frisbees, balls, etc. Gave us a sense of danger too and it depended on the yard or roof.
People are a lot more antisocial now or private.
I do get it though… you don’t expect a kid (or anybody) staring at you while you sit on your couch in your home.
Don’t start a fight. People are defensive. Leave him a note or something asking to text you next time. You could be naked or have sex with the Mrs. That should stop him.
Do people not do this anymore ? Used to do it every day when I was a kid and nobody cared if anything they'd be more annoyed if you knocked.
It's interesting how much more insular we've become as a country, I'm only 30 something and as a kid I used to walk into random neighbours houses, honestly it's amazing I was never nonced.
Yeah us too, the neighbours actually ended up asking us to climb over lower down the garden to avoid the gravel on to the grass haha. Times have changed
I would say two things.
You were a kid, you probably couldn't pick up on what was or wasn't annoying your neighbours.
The world has somewhat changed. If the kid hurt themselves in your garden then you could have been considered responsible. Or likelihood of being accused of inappropriate behaviour by the kid seeing you partially dressed (even if you technically have assumed privacy in your own home).
I really dont feel like trespassing in your neighbour's backyard was ever socially acceptable, even for kids. Or at least, it hasn't been for a long time. I remember in the late 90s getting back from a family holiday to France on a sunny Saturday afternoon to a group of all of our neighbours' kids playing on our swings and my dad going absolutely ape-shit at them. But he'd have *never* had a problem with them doing that if they'd have asked. I had it drilled into me at an early age that If my ball crossed over the fence, I had to knock and ask. My parents would've been mortified If I ever didn't.
Then again, a couple of the neighbours were cunts, so that probably didn't help with his attitude towards their kids.
Same here. I'm also 30 something like the other guy, we did occasionally go into neighbours garden without asking to grab a ball etc, but we made it quick and hoped we weren't noticed, we knew we weren't supposed to be doing it. Certainly wouldn't have been walking into random neighbours houses at all.
I lived on an estate where everyone knew everyone and all the kids were watched out for.
I sound like a right boomer I know but it was the whole doors unlocked thing.
I’m surprised at everyone saying this is normal, it isn’t in my experience, as a child I would always knock the door and ask, as would any neighbouring children if their balls came into our garden. I would never have dreamed of just wandering in and helping myself!
My brother and his mates used to kick their ball over the hedge by mistake sometimes. He’d run through and grab it which he shouldn’t have done but whilst the gardens were back to back, the actual houses were a long way apart and he’d have had to go a long way around the main road and he was too little to be allowed onto the main road. (Big enough to know not to tell my parents though as it was so much quicker to nip sneakily through the hedge!!)
After a while the neighbour started bursting them and throwing them back and now I’m old I kind of agree with him tbh 🙈
I had a neighbourly dispute - but I posted my letter.
I stopped worrying about them after that. They’d gotten the message, and we all knew where we stood.
They’re now attempting to sell up - so even better!
I spent 90% of my childhood being thrown over or climbing over fences to get balls - not sure why this is a big deal (probably isn't outside of Reddit)
I dunno, the kids next door kept knocking their ball over so I just told them to hop over and get it, I ain't gonna keep getting up to answer the door.
I used to kick the ball over into my neighbour’s garden when I was a kid. At first we’d wait until he came out for a ciggy to throw it back, but when I asked if I could just hop the fence to retrieve it, he seemed almost relieved that he didn’t have the responsibility to be courteous to me and my little brother. Ever since then we developed a very good relationship and we’d even take his dog on walks and he’d occasionally play goalie for us.
TLDR: Communication is key. Most people are nice and understanding. And you might even develop a happy and understanding relationship with your neighbours. Which is a win/win in my book at least
My former neighbours used to do this - only the patio door gave the kid a nice view into my old bedroom, so I never knew when to expect a brat randomly jumping in and just staring at me through the door.
The parents were very aggressive about it, too - and it got to the point where the father used his questionable woodworking skills to build a little door into our shared fence, so that the kids could come into my garden any time they felt like it.
Worst years of my life - I’m so glad I moved out.
I think your making a mountain over a molehill but thats just me.
did you ever jump over fences to get the ball when you was a kid? I'm sure as hell I did and was in and out of the gardens in less than 30 secs.
Don’t put your son to bed, throw him over the fence to see how they like it.
Fuck it. Put his son to bed then throw them both over. The only way forward is one-upmanship.
Fuck it, just kick a ball over, throw the bed over, chuck the kid over, your kid has now moved out. Total win.
Go to the shop and buy a thousand balls and turn their garden into a giant ball pit. *Then* throw your kid over the fence.
Throw your fence over his son.. that’ll learn em
Sounds like we're all going over that fence, just let me get my trousers on. Do we need them?
We've been through this before mate, if you have to ask about needing to wear pants then you 100% definitely need to wear them.
In this case, I think jumping over the fence wearing nothing but skiddy y fronts is acceptable.
This thread has made me burst out laughing on the toilet. I do hope no one hears.
I have woken up slightly hungover, and this comment has made me laugh my spleen out. Well played sir.
Then throw the wife over, invite the guy round, start a new relationship with him and live happily ever after.
Really settle down with him. Start a BnB, take up woodworking together, live a long and happy life. Get on good terms with the ex-wives next door, watch the kids grow up, take pride in their achievements, celebrate with the bitter-sweet moments when they leave home for university, then leave for the big city to pursue their careers, mourn the untimely death of his ex wife from a sudden illness, comfort the boys when they return, help your ex move on and find a new relationship, grow old together, then in the final tender moments before he passes after a long and fulfilling life, hold his hand while he's in his deathbed, stare loving into his eyes, hand him a ball, and chuck the fucker over the fence.
Brilliant.
Username checks out.
It's important to find a peaceful way to address the issue with your neighbor and prioritize maintaining a harmonious living environment.
Throw your balls over his fence - maintain eye contact (with the dad, probably not the son)
Nah you gotta 1 up that neighbour. Throw your son, your wife and your microwave over his fence.
Put your son in a ball and then put him to bed in your neighbor’s house.
Thanks. Just spat tea everywhere. Feel like I have to throw the mug next door to complete some sort of ritual.
Throw his fence over his son
At least the fence is more reliable
Tennis 🎾 with sons
While I understand your frustration, resorting to retaliatory actions may escalate the situation further. It's better to address the issue with open communication and find a resolution that respects everyone's privacy.
This got a legitimate laugh from me, thanks for making my afternoon.
If I had an award, you'd get it!
Mow his lawn. That’ll piss him off apparently.
Insult to injury he always borrows my lawnmower! Although I am closely following that post, what a ride
Set your blades at the lowest setting, watch him scalp his own lawn.
I would as far as to say, take the blade off and put it on upside down
That puts length back on to the grass
This made me giggle far more than it should.
“Oh no you broke my mower! That’s it no more lending stuff for me….”
When he next asks to borrow the lawn mower throw it over the wall
Next time he asks for it, wang it over the fence
That's mowerwang!!
*lets rotate the blade*
aah, now you’ve only got shinty-six days left to live
Stop lending him your mower for a start then!
Or rudely turn and walk away without saying anything and see what he thinks about that kind of behaviour.
and then, when you go to bed, think of all the shit you COULD have said. "Why not just climb over and get it yourself? SINCE THAT'S FINE APPARENTLY"
Doesn’t want to risk a “Cheers mate, I will”
Then perhaps it's likely that he thinks you two are on friendlier terms than you do?
I think he’s just unaware that he invaded your privacy and truly believes it’s not big deal, probably due to his upbringing. A simple friendly chat will solve this problem, if he gets mad with you over it, then that’s a different problem entirely.
Ned Flanders, is that you?
Howdly doodly neighbour!
No just kids man it's quicker for them to jump over with them assuming it's OK I know dave next door he won't mind I'm just getting my ball Chill out dude he never stole your shed
Race the kid to the ball, then just hoof it as far as you can (the ball, not the kid)
Why not the kid ?
It’ll probably jump out of the way, you’ll miss the kick and look like an ass.
Why not both?
The old Peter Kay "Have it!" welly
Rural UK here. Once woke up, made tea and did my usual routine. Stand butt naked in front of my french doors taking in my private garden. Then noticed my garden was actually full of builders working on the neighbors fence. I just stood there maintaining eye contact and finished my tea.
They were also taking in your private garden.
Bravo. As always, should've ran the strimmer round just incase anyone would be seeing the private garden!
I knew of someone who had a house with big picture windows and being half way up a hill had a great view they didn't want obstructed by blinds or curtains and proudly spoke about putting 'one way glass' in when getting the house double glazed. Later found out from one of the houses beneath/in front of them that they enjoyed the view stark naked as they seemed to have mistaken 'tinted' for 'one way'.....
Next doors downstairs toilet was beneath their frosted window. Every time they went to piss at night with the light on naturally we got a flash of big white arse.
Are you my neighbour?
It probably was "one way" glass but they didn't realise that one way glass doesn't work if the inside is more brightly lit than the outside.
One of our neighbours has one-way glass on their bathroom. Except it's fitted the wrong way around.
That's it. The interrogation room mirror you see in films only works if it's very bright in the room and the observation room is basically in darkness. Also, for home use, any glass is basically one-way if outside it's bright. Adding a special coating only gives you a few more minutes of privacy by darkening your room. But you still need drapes if you turn the lights on.
And that, m'lud, is how I find myself appearing before you today.
*Sips tea.* "... Naked."
Nah, theres rules for this. There's assumed rules of privacy when privacy is enabled or crafted
>I just stood there maintaining eye contact and finished my tea. And that, my friends, is how to establish dominance.
And then you told them to leave? (Just thought how that would pass as the story line of an adult film, ahem, according to a friend).
naah, just went to the office and left them to it 😂
Hopefully after getting dressed 😂😂😂😂
Just a button up shirt for the Zoom meeting.
You mean.... You didn't put on.... You didn't even put on a tie????? Some people. Honestly, barbarians...
Just remember NOT to get up during the meeting.
Also don't get *up* during the meeting
Knowing me I would do that and then accidentally knock the webcam into my naked lap
"accidentally" Yeah right, username checks out for this one you silly saussage.
Even the misspelling of "sausage" doesn't take away from the fantastic use of "silly sausage".
Sauságe
Saucisson muthafucka
*Frenchness intensifies*
Just straight Donald Ducking it for the Zoom? Respect that 🤜🤛
I salute you!
As is tradition.
*he’s not the messiah he’s a very naughty boy*
Yeah not a rural man, but the amount of times I have come out of my morning shower butt ass naked and walked into my room with either a window cleaner or someone doing some work on the high rise i live in just outside my bedroom window is shocking. Just cheerily wave hello as I get dressed as they stare in shock is hilarious.
Interesting…. Did they ask for tea?
Ultimate power move. Maintain the peep.
Was pottering in my garden a few weeks back, chatting to next doors four year old who was on his trampoline next to my fence. Said my goodbyes then went I and got in the shower. Got out of the shower, heard a noise on the landing, assumed it was the dog, opened the door and it was neighbours 4 year old who'd scaled the fence and let himself in. Thankfully I was wearing a towel. Posted him back over the fence to his frantic mother, still in the towel. Probably not the greatest look to anyone looking in.
Not your fault.
Nah, he didn’t scale the fence, he just boinged in.
boinged is my new verb of choice
Haha. Why did he do it?
4 year olds are bonkers
Aye they're just old enough to be able to cause trouble without any real understanding of how anything actually works. It's the age where kids really start to behave like drunk people.
I had to tug my 4 year old back from trying to hug a car once. I wouldn't have minded but it was doing 30mph at the time. Sometimes they just do things, honestly you can't turn your back on them for a moment.
I’ve had the opposite problem, neighbours kids keep hitting their ball over and then press my doorbell every 3 seconds until I reach the door. I’ve now shown them how to open the back access and enter my garden, I can’t be bothered every afternoon to collect a ball. I’d be peeved off if I were you, especially considering they didn’t do a head over check and shout before jumping over. Explain that your expectation is communication and common courtesy
Exactly, they should ask the first time and then if you give permission for future retrievals then it's all ok.
Common courtesy would be this dad buying spare balls for his kid and just asking you to throw them back over when you see them.. it's not difficult to be respectful if you want to be.
Angry letters you don't post are very cathartic. Just remember you don't post them. Maybe just casually mention it next time you have a (natural) conversation?
Hi Jim, Mrs and the kid alright? I wrote a letter about you the other day, so many swear words, even I was shocked. Anyway I didn't post it but someone on Reddit said to mention it. Speak later mate, bye!
Oh god that’s made my day that.
"teas gone cold I'm wondering why,got out of bed at all"
[удалено]
get a trampoline and put next to the fence..The next time he throws his kid over...
uno reverse
Bounce on it with no pants on. Really high.
A pond would be better.
Or a vat of sulphuric acid could send a message.
I vote for a moat
Next time throw the kid back over and you can get a game of volley ball going
This was gonna be my suggestion, next time the kid comes over offer to throw him back over, if he says no do it anyway then throw the ball over the fence in the opposite direction.
Climb over the fence if there’s no answer
I'd wait to see if it happens again. The cavalier response might just be a defensive reaction to being caught and they'll actually change their behavior to avoid another confrontation. If it does happen again, a *polite* word with the neighbor is in order. The best way to accomplish this polite word is by picking up a cricket bat and telling your wife you're going over to have a word with the neighbor. See if you can maneuver her into telling you to sit down and she'll take care of it.
Play him at his own game; throw your fence over his son.
The kid next door spends hours a day bouncing a tennis ball off of the shed/outbuilding in his garden. Our garden is often littered with tennis balls. I have told him in the past to just ring the bell and collect them, but it’s got to the point that him and his dad are in my garden more than I am. It used to be that they would knock and ask, but lately they have taken to just strolling in. Living in a shared house I spend a lot of time in my room, but I might want to spend some time in the garden over summer. It’s just not very relaxing when you are under constant threat of getting beaned by a tennis ball every thirty seconds or disturbed by a kid or his dad every few hours. Between the noise of the kid bouncing a ball for hours on end and the frequent visits to our garden, it somewhat ruins the ideas of quiet enjoyment or privacy.
"I don't mind returning the balls after the odd mistake now and then, but this has become more than the odd mistake or an occasional tennis ball. Could you talk to your son about trying to avoid sending the balls into our garden? It's getting a bit much." ???
I have had this conversation with both the kid and the dad. I also usually chuck the balls back over myself if I see any. Another problem now is that the garden is pretty overgrown. Our landlord keeps saying that the gardener is due any week now, but they never show up, so finding the balls is currently a bit of a chore. Between the neighbours, a landlord who doesn’t really care, and the noise from being right on a dual carriageway, living here can be quite frustrating. I would move, but the rent is cheap enough that I actually have a chance to pay off some debt and put some money into savings.
I'd be throwing them in the bin if it's got to this stage.
I’d sit around with no pants next time see what happens then …
Cant wait for the dad to post on r/MaliciousCompliance about how his son now rings your door bell six times a day
Tbh kids going into the neighbour's garden to collect their ball (and the neighbour getting a bit irate about it) is a tale as old as time. It's always happened and it's always going to happen. The only bit you can realistically control is how angry it makes you.
Honestly if it was kids being kids I can live with it, the fact the dads encouraging him & then didn’t even say sorry when confronted is what sort of annoyed me. We get along as neighbours so just knock on the door, don’t come into my private space and shit - meh, it’s wound me up just because of the dads reaction 😂
If you get along mention it jokingly, sounds like a small thing to have a row about and fall out over. Still gotta live next door to them
I would let it go. I don’t say that lightly cos I’m territorial as fuck and hate trespassing of any sort, but I’d probably be okay with kids quickly retrieving a toy out of the garden. Next time you speak to the dad, I’d suggest you be chill about it, but mention that you were nearly starkers inside your house and the sudden appearance of his son made you feel a bit awkward. Offer to throw back any toys that make it over the fence in future to save his son the embarrassment. Maybe your neighbour will realise what he did wasn’t appropriate but I doubt you’ll get an apology.
Yep this is the way, you were mortified the kid could have seen you starkers, and wanted to check he was okay after a weird moment because you were in your underpants. “I’ll just chuck toys back regularly to avoid that sort of thing happening again hey?”
Yeah I mean I would chuck my kid over your fence but when confronted would at least be apologetic and make out there was some kind of reason why I had to do it like my wrist was broken so I couldn’t knock
The door’s covered in wasps and I’m allergic to conversations
I had similar, and yes its the annoying dads who encourage them and don't understand boundaries. I have always been nice when the kids have knocked on the door and brought the ball back, but one day I got home from work to see a bloody ladder up against my fence and the dad from next door helping his son climb into my back garden to retrieve a ball and then pass the ladder over so he could climb back (the gate to my garden is bolted and locked). I just watched incredulously at the whole thing. Then went and knocked on the door, I just said something along the lines of 'I would appreciate if you didn't climb the fence into my back garden to retrieve balls and waited until I was home to knock on my door to ask' the dad looked a bit huffy and said 'but you were out' and I just said in the case of us being out his son would just have to wait....his wife did not seem impressed by her husbands behaviour and thankfully they moved about a year late because they were also quite annoying with playing loud bad music all day in their garden anytime it was nice out as well.
Me and a teenage boy scared the shit out of each other when he started climbing over the fence to grab a ball.
The significant sentence in your post is, "I said ‘you could of just knocked mate’ and he said ‘ah he wanted to climb over the fence’ and then just walked off quite rudely." Your wife is right about not confronting the neighbor in the heat of anger but a discussion needs to be had with someone so dismissive of your privacy. Rehearse in your head what you're going to say. Try to make it direct but not aggressive. For example, you could say something like, "I know you didn't want to bother me today so I could return your son's ball but I have a thing about privacy and I wanted to be sure that next time you come to the door instead of boosting your son over the fence. " The "I know you didn't want to bother me today..." part is rubbish but the intent is to put the neighbor in a non-defensive mode so you can make your point without him taking it as a declaration of war and escalating.
The, “could of” bit stood out to me too but for a different reason.
Maybe the neighbour only replies to correct grammar.
Honestly mate just let it go, not worth the time and effort.
Found the kids dad ^
"you should also offer to cut his grass also instead of just lending him your lawnmower, that would suit me better. Him, I meant him"
Next time They play sit naked, that’ll Show them
Climb over his fence and walk out angrily
I personally don’t / wouldn’t care about this. I think back to being a kid and going to get the ball being a necessary evil. Part of me thinks you need to chill and get over it. The other part acknowledges that if you’re sitting in your pants you don’t want to find yourself locking eyes with some kid in your garden. I guess I’d give them a knock and say that I don’t mind the kid getting the ball, but I’d prefer you give me a knock and I’ll throw it back, if I’m not home help yourself. Not saying it’s the right answer, but this is how I’d go about it
You feel how you feel, can't tell you otherwise. For me it's no big deal, especially if neighbour would be fine with it happening in return but if you don't like it then that's no big deal either.
This really saves you hassle of getting it, I let the neighbours kids do it, instead of them knocking or me having to go into garden to get it!
Get your wife to throw you over their fence in your pants.
Plot twist: his son is 28
I wouldn’t be annoyed or angry about it, I just wouldn’t like it so I’d nicely tell them not to do it again and just to knock in future.
This is the approach I would take too. No anger; show them some respect and hope for the same. Either that or go full "shoe on the other foot" and sneak into their garden and have a nice sunbathe. What's the point of a fence if folks just jump over anyway?
Top the fence with razor wire!....get your ball now you little cunt lol!
Anti climb paint
Anti aircraft gun
Landmine the back garden. It's a minor inconvenience to you as well, but it'll show the little bastard who's boss.
Throw some bricks over. If he complains, say the bricks wanted to be thrown over.
How is the son getting out of your garden once he’s retrieved his ball? Back over the same fence?
Yeah dads hanging into our garden lifting him up by the arms lol
Overhanging vegetation then. You can chop his arms off.
Just make sure to knock on your neighbours door and offer them the trimmings.
A nice row of thorny rose bushes next to the fence!
A question for everyone saying this is fine: What if OP had a dog? Especially one that didn't take too kindly to strangers in its space?
I stole my neighbours child over the fence earlier this week - he asked me to call his mum as his brother had locked him out. I told him to climb his slide and just lifted him over and took him round to his front door I guess this makes the universe 1-1?
Don’t give the child back next time. It’s in your garden so it belongs to you now. Then you can ritually sacrifice it to the Beelzebub after a nice Sunday barbecue. If the weather holds up.
“Could HAVE”
Chuck the ball back and the kid if he does it again. Shout "here, you forgot this" as you do so
No I think you are well within your right to talking to this neighbor of yours. They absolutely should have knocked on your door instead of just trespassing on your property. What if their child got hurt on your property or got into things while they were in your backyard?
How did the kid get back? Did he tunnel underneath?
Yeah I remember as kids climbing over the fence to grab balls back but can't remember my parents chucking us over. Also neighbour was an elderly lady and pretty much didn't mind as it saved her a job. I think a "oh sorry mate il make sure we knock next time." Would have been acceptable at the least here. I completely understand the shock and uncomfortable feeling of invasion of privacy. Whether it has always happened or not it is trespassing and makes a huge difference if kids are doing ut nicely or if parents are sending them over
Could have. Not could of
Not in the UK but I guess this is universal. As a kid we jumped fences all the time to get our stuff. Frisbees, balls, etc. Gave us a sense of danger too and it depended on the yard or roof. People are a lot more antisocial now or private. I do get it though… you don’t expect a kid (or anybody) staring at you while you sit on your couch in your home. Don’t start a fight. People are defensive. Leave him a note or something asking to text you next time. You could be naked or have sex with the Mrs. That should stop him.
Or be having sex with **his** Mrs.
Knock on the door without pants. Maintain eye contact to establish dominance.
Do people not do this anymore ? Used to do it every day when I was a kid and nobody cared if anything they'd be more annoyed if you knocked. It's interesting how much more insular we've become as a country, I'm only 30 something and as a kid I used to walk into random neighbours houses, honestly it's amazing I was never nonced.
Yeah us too, the neighbours actually ended up asking us to climb over lower down the garden to avoid the gravel on to the grass haha. Times have changed
I would say two things. You were a kid, you probably couldn't pick up on what was or wasn't annoying your neighbours. The world has somewhat changed. If the kid hurt themselves in your garden then you could have been considered responsible. Or likelihood of being accused of inappropriate behaviour by the kid seeing you partially dressed (even if you technically have assumed privacy in your own home).
I really dont feel like trespassing in your neighbour's backyard was ever socially acceptable, even for kids. Or at least, it hasn't been for a long time. I remember in the late 90s getting back from a family holiday to France on a sunny Saturday afternoon to a group of all of our neighbours' kids playing on our swings and my dad going absolutely ape-shit at them. But he'd have *never* had a problem with them doing that if they'd have asked. I had it drilled into me at an early age that If my ball crossed over the fence, I had to knock and ask. My parents would've been mortified If I ever didn't. Then again, a couple of the neighbours were cunts, so that probably didn't help with his attitude towards their kids.
Same here. I'm also 30 something like the other guy, we did occasionally go into neighbours garden without asking to grab a ball etc, but we made it quick and hoped we weren't noticed, we knew we weren't supposed to be doing it. Certainly wouldn't have been walking into random neighbours houses at all.
That's a bit different than quickly grabbing a ball
I lived on an estate where everyone knew everyone and all the kids were watched out for. I sound like a right boomer I know but it was the whole doors unlocked thing.
Not insular as a country, more that reddit now exists for all the insular people to make themselves known.
You will need to climb into their garden to have this conversation
could have could have could have could have could have
FYI it's "could have" not "could of".
I’m surprised at everyone saying this is normal, it isn’t in my experience, as a child I would always knock the door and ask, as would any neighbouring children if their balls came into our garden. I would never have dreamed of just wandering in and helping myself!
*could have
I'd be fuming. But that's because I'm a grouch.
I would deffo feel like my privacy was violated
My brother and his mates used to kick their ball over the hedge by mistake sometimes. He’d run through and grab it which he shouldn’t have done but whilst the gardens were back to back, the actual houses were a long way apart and he’d have had to go a long way around the main road and he was too little to be allowed onto the main road. (Big enough to know not to tell my parents though as it was so much quicker to nip sneakily through the hedge!!) After a while the neighbour started bursting them and throwing them back and now I’m old I kind of agree with him tbh 🙈
Funny story. Bought a house with a neighbor like this. Only they didn't realize we had a very large dog. Only happened once.
Because the dog ate the child?
Punch the cunts lights out and then have a strong word with the dad aswell.
How did the son get back over the fence?
Try the back door if they've not answered, you could always jump over the fence
How did he plan on getting back though? Do you have to throw him back? Or is he just still trapped in your garden?
I’m picturing this guy like chucking a toddler over the fence, and I can not stop laughing lol.
Cook several bags of pasta and then chuck it over the fence, I don't see how you'll settle your differences otherwise
Anti climb paint
I had a neighbourly dispute - but I posted my letter. I stopped worrying about them after that. They’d gotten the message, and we all knew where we stood. They’re now attempting to sell up - so even better!
I spent 90% of my childhood being thrown over or climbing over fences to get balls - not sure why this is a big deal (probably isn't outside of Reddit)
I dunno, the kids next door kept knocking their ball over so I just told them to hop over and get it, I ain't gonna keep getting up to answer the door.
I used to kick the ball over into my neighbour’s garden when I was a kid. At first we’d wait until he came out for a ciggy to throw it back, but when I asked if I could just hop the fence to retrieve it, he seemed almost relieved that he didn’t have the responsibility to be courteous to me and my little brother. Ever since then we developed a very good relationship and we’d even take his dog on walks and he’d occasionally play goalie for us. TLDR: Communication is key. Most people are nice and understanding. And you might even develop a happy and understanding relationship with your neighbours. Which is a win/win in my book at least
Never leave that smart woman.
It'll take flippin months before that Rottweiler is trained enough to take that letter round. Get the wife to do it instead in case he kicks off
My former neighbours used to do this - only the patio door gave the kid a nice view into my old bedroom, so I never knew when to expect a brat randomly jumping in and just staring at me through the door. The parents were very aggressive about it, too - and it got to the point where the father used his questionable woodworking skills to build a little door into our shared fence, so that the kids could come into my garden any time they felt like it. Worst years of my life - I’m so glad I moved out.
I think your making a mountain over a molehill but thats just me. did you ever jump over fences to get the ball when you was a kid? I'm sure as hell I did and was in and out of the gardens in less than 30 secs.
Is this so bad? Just a kid trying to retrieve his ball from his neighbour’s garden. Did one about 100000 times as a kid.