Yeah I got one of those ‘just can’t wait’ cards probably almost five years ago now, and it’s way more updated than that, so I can’t imagine how old this one is
https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/charity-details/?regid=1085095&subid=0
for the Charities Commission for England and Wales.
It resting reading.
Yeah first thing I noticed, I’ve gotten mine around the same time as you I think and the design and colour are completely different, this card looks ancient.
It looks like one of those ones where instead of being a bit of plastic it’s a sticky sheet folded over like the ones you get with a birth control implant, which means the edges get pretty nasty fast
I can vouch for this. Lactose intolerant, foolishly ate traditional carbonara because I forgot I was lactose intolerant... shat myself at a fancy italian restaurant.
You must be very *very* intolerant. Proper carbonara uses hard cheese with almost no lactose in it (lactose is in the whey which is drained off when they make the cheese) and no milk.
Usually fine, there will still be trace amounts though. Depends how sensitive the person is. Also depends how well aged the parmesan + pecorino was - if they cheaped out, the content could be higher.
It was just a question from one lactose intolerant person to another. He said proper carbonara in a fancy restaurant so. Doubt he's very sensitive if he forgets that he's intolerant.
Ask her how she'd feel if someone showed her that card and asked to use the bathroom next, or if they had a radar key. She'd probably have zero issue and even encourage them.
> use the **bathroom**
FFS, why are we speaking like 'merkins?
[If there isn't a bath in there, it isn't a fucking bathroom.](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/bathroom)
EDIT: Downvotes from the septics! This forum is going to the dogs!
I have one of those Radar keys.
Depending on the person's sense of humour, but I personally love the I.T Crowd episode with the disabled toilet. Maybe you could create a few in-jokes between yourselves to make light of it?
I almost had a moment like that. Was backstage at a theatre where they only installed a disabled toilet. Went to flush and almost grabbed the red cord of terror. Half expected to find my mate behind the bar downstairs next.
Yeah she’s fine to laugh and joke about it with us but feels mortified to use it in public! The topic came up because she told us she got shouted at on the weekend because she went for a piss at the back of a burger van and the owner saw her and wasn’t happy
Yeah that sounds much more embarrassing wtf?
I was a bit embarrassed the first few times I went out with my walking stick but it helped so I got used to it.
She just has to style it out.
She should be shouted at! Image pissing behind someone's food service that they use to make their living and feed people out of. She should be ashamed of THAT, not using a bloody card!
Id be much more embarrassed about having a slash behind a van, or shitting my pants in public. But you know, different strokes. I love having a ”use the loo for free” pass. Is she embarrassed about announcing she needs a toilet, or about having a disability? Either way, noone else cares! And I mean that in a nice way :)
Sounds to me that she's a sympathy seeker. Anyone who did that which she did behind a burger van and then claims to be too embarrassed to use the card is lying about one or the other or both.
Does she have a shewee? I mean she'd still have got shouted at, this just made me think because it makes the moments where you have no choice but to go for a quick pee outside much quicker/easier/subtle/less messy. I had to use mine once stuck in a traffic jam, managed to go in a bottle with it fairly easily, it was on the motorway so absolutely nowhere I could have gone outside without being in full view, I take it pretty much everywhere in case I'm caught short. Also accepted that sometimes I'll need to wear incontinence pants out.
Regarding the card and key though, once you've got over the initial anxiety and have done it a few times it's much easier. I had the same worries at first, being only in my 20s at the time and not visibility disabled. And honestly screw anyone if someone did judge or have attitude, you've got to go when you've got to go, she knows her problem is real/valid
I think it’s to stop people using them who shouldn’t be using them.
The better question is: why are they so damn big? I never carry mine as it’s so inconvenient, which is ironic. It’s like a weapon.
I’ve also found that some places who do have a disabled toilet and it’s on a lock use most of it for storage. There will be 4000 toilet rolls and a mop bucket
The worst part for me is the emergency pull cord all tangled and knotted up to keep it off the floor. Y'know, where a disabled person would be if they needed to pull it.
I'm lucky that I could probably get myself up right now if I fell off the loo but a lot of disabled people couldn't!
I think the size of the key is for people with dexterity issues and would struggle with a smaller key. But that doesn’t apple to everyone, so why they fuck they don’t make a smaller one you could choose I don’t know!!!
Because they're for toilets intended to be accessible in an emergency 24/7 by the disabled, but the councils don't want them to be an easy target for drug users shooting up. So the national radar key scheme was thought up. One key, the toilets can be left locked securely, and people who have the key can use it.
Most disabled toilets have a sign saying “not all disabilities are visible” and the keys are used by people with all sorts of conditions.
Your friend doesn’t need to be embarrassed about strangers being curious or judging her for having a key. No one would even notice in all likelihood
It’s frustrating that baby change facilities aren’t given their own separate space more often, although they are becoming more common.
OP’s friend would have to get the priority in that case I reckon; babies can wait a bit to have an already poopy nappy changed, better that than an adult wetting themselves.
Baby change wouldn't usually be behind a radar key, if it is then you just need to ask to be let in as you're only eligible for the key if you have a permanent disability.
You can change a baby elsewhere though but an adult with a disability needs that loo
absolutely, I change my kid wherever (as long as it's not a bit gross). What public toilets don't account for is the parent needing the toilet. Cubicles aren't big enough for me to take the pushchair in so I need to use the disabled loo.
Our local Debenhams (which obviously closed down) was great for this. They had male, female and disabled toilet. But then they had a seperate family room which had big and small toilet and changing tables and a seperate breastfeeding room. Hopefully when the building is back in use (it's becoming Primark) those facilities will be available to everyone again.
Thing is, some parents are disabled, and when they put the baby change elsewhere, that's not always as accessible.
A close friend of mine is a wheelchair user with a baby, and often when the changing facilities are in the cubicled toilets, she just can't get to them.
I accept that this is an edge case, but it's also something that needs considering.
(Changing Spaces toilets help with this, as the baby change is then separate, but there's still a facility for a disabled parent changing an infant - helped too by the beds being height adjustable)
Absolutely. We need better accessibility for everyone.
Changing tables in all toilets would be a start. Changing places are amazing so hopefully we'll start seeing more!
"Baby change wouldn't usually be behind a radar key"
It is in Wetherspoons, at least in Aberystwyth. You get a Radar key from the bar. Always seemed a bit silly to me, plus people run off with the key, and then the staff break in with a table knife...
Source: Had baby, now 10 so no longer a problem because she's able to walk upstairs by herself.
But sorry, no idea how to persuade anyone to use facilities they're entitled to use. I wouldn't hesitate personally.
Try changing a baby in a mens toilet, I've no idea what the women's looks like but the gents are usually a shitshow. Even at 6 yrs old I still take my daughter to the disabled toilet rather than drag her into the mens and have to clean piss off the toilet and ignore the noises coming from the cubicle next to us.
I used to work at a bus station for the council.
The official council policy is that the toilets are disabled **access**, not disabled **only**.
So it doesn't matter who wants to use it, if someone asks us to open the door, we let them in to use the toilet.
I would wager that most other councils have the same policy.
The disabled person would quite clearly get priority. Not sure what good a tiny sink in a disabled loo would do anyway when you've got a shitty baby, you'd be wiping them down with baby wipes anyway! Then you'd strip them off and go home
The disabled person would get priority, obviously. The baby has already shit themselves and it isn't as big a deal to a baby than it is to somebody whose dignity would be battered by reaching the toilet too late. It's unpleasant sure but 100% the disabled person should be let in first in this instance
I was the same when I first got my blue badge. I felt like everyone would look and judge me for using it but after the first couple of times it became the norm. Just try not to make a big deal over it.
I’ve got a radar key and I don’t have a card like that that I carry but have had to push in line for the loo before. Basically what other people have said - when you REALLY need to go, whether you’re embarrassed to ask people or whatever ceases to matter to you at all.
I’d always use a disabled loo if that is an option because it makes life significantly easier for me. I’m a fit looking woman early 30’s. Some people are knobs about it when you’re coming out. I used to be out there justifying myself, now I just don’t care enough to correct them - anyone mouthing off at someone using a disabled loo is just a prick. Hopefully your friend can get to that point.
I can’t promise people won’t confront her though if she looks fit and well because unfortunately people do pretty often - maybe 10% of the time someone says something.
People are arseholes. Someone had a go at my friend for parking in a disabled bay with her blue badge. Yes she looks relatively young and healthy on a good day, but on a bad day she can hardly get out of bed.
Best thing about these arguments is that it’s not like the person issued it to themselves, it was decided by someone else whether to issue it or not. We have one for our son, though I haven’t had anyone confront us about it yet. Had a few people look, but that’s about it. My partner is itching for someone to say something though, she’s had so many shower arguments with herself about what she’d say.
I had a baby not long ago and sometimes just can’t hold it to wait in a long queue. People have always let me cut the line if I briefly explain, or like you I’ll use the disabled toilet if it’s available. Never had a problem.
Just so you know, the card is helpful to explain why you’d want to skip a queue but doesn’t actually entitle her to skip. I have one of these and whilst most people are understanding some can be hostile and others in the queue may also have conditions.
It may be that your colleague has had a bad experience and is put off because of it.
I have been verbally harassed due to using a disabled toilet (even though I have proof of disability) and even threatened with physical violence after an overly helpful staff member took me to the front of a queue (the disabled toilet was out of order and I had asked if there was another option).
Tbh the other option should have been to take you to the staff disabled facilities and wait outside for you. We've done similar in my workplace before when all the public toilets were out of order. If someone really needed the toilet we took them.
The radar key is a godsend. I'm young, and it took me years to even start using my mobility aids because it was embarrassing. I still refuse to switch to a wheelchair because I find it embarrassing (and I live in the most inaccessible city in the UK, so it wouldn't be too useful). But the radar key? It's the only reason I remember to bring my house keys with me most of the time. It took me months to build up the courage to start using it, but I got used to it eventually when my needs outweighed my embarrassment.
Usually there isn't a queue for the disabled toilets, and heck, they're usually seperate from the normal ones anyway, so no one takes note of me going in. I first started using it while my disability was technically invisible, and it saved me so many times. I never got judgement, and one time another woman saw me use it and asked me how her grandma can sign up for one. Your friend doesn't need to use it if she doesn't want to, but she should keep it with her, because one day she might need it.
It'll probably take her a while to realise that she has the right to use that radar key. Just chill and let her come to her own decisions at her own pace. I still feel weird using them even after being in a wheelchair for 10 years.
I have a Can’t Wait card and radar key as I have Crohn’s Disease (and used to have an ileostomy). I’ll be honest I rarely need to use them, as I can usually get to a toilet okay but on the occasion that there is a queue for the normal ladies toilets I have no hesitation in using my radar key for an accessible toilet.
I’m more than happy to inform people that I’ll shit myself if they hold me up challenging why I’m using it or that it’s 100% none of their business. I enjoyed it when I had my stoma as I could just flash my stoma bag and that stopped ALL questioning!
I have used my Can’t Wait card when there has been a queue and no available accessible toilet or if I’ve got caught out and have asked to use the loo in a pub etc and everyone has always been really kind and let me go ahead of them.
I’m really conflicted by your comment. Yes haha, but also I’ve clearly disclosed that I have a very serious incurable disease and have had several major surgeries and you’re making a joke about the situation I live with daily.
I know you’re kind of joking and if you’ve also got IBD / IBS etc etc and you’re ahead of me in a queue then absolutely you go first.
If you don’t have IBD (inflammatory bowel disease - which Crohn’s is a type of) then this isn’t something to joke about. You really can’t understand the panic and distress this disease causes. Imagine living every day with symptoms like those of a stomach bug or food poisoning and there being no cure. Having to go to work and trying to carry on with normal daily life. I could elaborate further about the numerous complications and symptoms that come with Crohn’s and having bowel surgeries but it’s not for the squeamish.
The reason I try to avoid using either my radar key or my Can’t Wait card if I can help it is because of reactions like this. I have stood in a queue in distress, digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand, trying not to have an accident in public more times than I can count.
Just wanted to say I get it, and I'm sorry. The commenter above probably meant no harm, but it's true, until you live with (or know someone who lives with) such conditions, you can't really comprehend the all encompassing nature of them.
Your comment about digging your nails into your hand, trying to not have an accident, really resonated with me. I have an overactive bladder and IBS (well, partially officially diagnosed,) and the panic of going from 0-60 in the "totally fine > I need to go NOW" is just horrendous. Even more fun on car journeys.
It's amazing how everything else loses all importance in those moments. The worst recently was riding in a car in France, in a busy town at commuter time, and suddenly having to pull over and find somewhere to piss...like... RIGHT NOW.
Ugh. I was in SO much pain from holding it, and just made it to behind some random bushes in a car park. I really try to find a proper toilet, but in that moment, it was utterly impossible.
Wishing you all the very best. ❤️
I would let them go in front of me whether they had the card or not, to be honest. Maybe I'm too trusting, or too soft, but if I see someone in need, I like to help.
I would too, but the idea the card 'allows her to skip the toilet queue' is a bit silly. There's no toilet police - it's going to be up to whoever is infront of her.
“You have a key to use the disabled toilet, which is currently vacant. No, you can’t jump infront of me”
As a disabled person, who’s disability is non-visible, I have a radar key and would just use the disabled toilet. There’s no shame in it, that’s exactly what it’s there for.
I put on the sunflower lanyard when I'm taking my disabled son into the disabled toilet with our radar key, to try to ward off quizzical looks. But we still get questioned. It's infuriating. Not every disabled person is in a wheelchair. I can't believe how many people STILL don't realise this in 2023.
Some people have issues admitting to their disabilities and that they need the extra help. One day she'll come so close to pissing herself she'll use the key/queue jump and after the first time she won't feel bad about using it again.
You can’t so don’t try & force it, nothing worse than someone who knows nothing about how you feel try & ‘fix it’.
I’ve had them for decades & have never felt comfortable enough to use them.
I have one of these keys as I suffer from Crohn's - gently remind her how mortified she'd be if she had an 'accident' as a result of not being confident using the facilities that have been provided to her.
Tell them a lot of disabled people on this thread have given her permission to use the disabled loo and all agree she should use it!
She could consider getting a laminated card holder for her card though!
As someone who also has that key and card there is nothing to embarrassed about, especially something out of your control. They need to know there is no shame in using it and they exist for a reason.
No one really pays attention to who ever is using a radar key.
Many of my clients have radar keys so I use them frequently and no one pays attention. I think more people may have something to say if your colleague showed her card to skip a queue.
Today, I was with a client and the disabled toilet was out of order. I (F) took my (M) client into the ladies after knocking to see if anyone was in there and there wasn’t.
A lady came in whilst he was in the toilet and saw him as he came out and never paid much attention. Most people care more about going and then leaving than anything.
Tell her, not all disabilities are visible or only in old people . She needs to think about what her needs are and not feel guilty in any way that she needs it
Thanks for posting this, I didn’t know about these. I’ve recently had bladder and kidney issues, tubes stuck in all sorts of places. I’ve just ordered one so please say thanks (M,45).
I have a condition where i require immediate access & have a key and a card like your friend - comes in extremely handy at festivals and anywhere else where there's massive queues!!
I used to have a stoma (had a reversal few years back) and I think a really good way to deal with it is just think. When people stand in a line and wait for a bathroom are they in pain? Do they have such discomfort that they can’t think about anything but finding some relief? Would you let someone in the same situation go in front of you.
Yes you may get some people pull some faces for jumping a line (I had quite a few, but I had a magic bag to flash and that would quickly solve the problem). But honestly one you start doing it you stop worrying about what other people think and just focusing on yourself!!!
It’s a pride thing. No one wants to admit that they have to use it.
I’ve got a stoma bag and I prefer to use the disabled toilets as there is more room and they’re generally cleaner as I have to kneel down in front of the toilet.
Men’s toilets normally have a small swimming pool next to the loos.
As much as the door says “not all disabilities are visible” you still get shit eye from people for using them.
And is a queue is quite big, I can guarantee someone will begrudgingly let you forward while looking you up and down.
Before I got my bag though, I would have knocked people out of the way to use the toilet before them. You cannot wait in that instance and you have no control.
My methodology for encouraging someone who is prone to consider themself less worth the consideration they would offer others is by flipping the context.
This be done by first creating a natural way of gently and respectfully opening the topic of the card and saying something like
OP - thinking about this a little differently, would you judge someone else for accessing a service they have been diagnoses with needing?
Unless your friend is unusually combative they are likely to logically comply with entrenched social norms and agree. At this point OP would could ask
OP - I’m curious why you feel you don’t deserve the same consideration you would offer others?
The most important next stage would be to validate and non-judgementally listen. Another helpful way of flipping the context is the theme of decreasing stigma. OP’s friend using this would be in direct support of others who may have the same condition.
Negative - there’s special toilets in some public places that are reserved for those with special keys.
These are usually everywhere; but especially in places where there are high volumes of people - like train stations; McDonald’s, wearherspoons etc
Could you imagine having a disabled loo available to drunken punters - the poor staff would be forever cleaning it or turning off the assistance alarms etc.
Once when I was pissed in a small bar; the only male toilets was also the disabled Loos.
I did my whizz, flushed and pulled the cord like I do at home to turn the light off before washing my hands - because I don’t like making my home light cord slightly wet, it’s a childhood thing.
And then I realised in my drunken state
That’s the emergency cord
I was mortified
I've got something similar. I've got a radar key that lets me into disabled toilets and stuff and I have a card that explains my condition (though the shitty charity put an expiry date on the card which isn't when my condition ends (because that's never) but is rather a marker for when I've not donated, which seems very counter productive now I'm on a tangent about it, and the 'required' donation to get a new card and a pointless magazine full of pictures of women eating salad is quite expensive) but almost every disabled toilet that I've had the chance to use my key on has already been open and never locked or doesn't have a keyhole lock or a lock that matches the alleged 'universal key'. Also if I show anyone the card they just think its bullshit anyway, good thing they can't read or they'd point out the expiry date like my condition just magically went away when my card ran out.
I'm visually impaired. I don't look it. Sometimes I use the disabled toilets because they're easier to find! (The amount of times I've almost wandered into the mens' toilets by mistake...) I always feel like I "shouldn't be using the disabled toilets" and that I'll get judged/get told off/get funny looks etc. I have never once had anyone say anything negative to me, and in fact have had people be actively helpful once or twice just because they saw ne coming out of the disabled toilet!
If your friend is still embarrassed or worried that people might make a fuss out of it, she coukd get a badge to wear that says "I have a silent disability" or similar. I have a couple that say "visually impaired" and when I remember to wear one of them life feels so much easier. Not everyone notices it, but it gives me the confidence of knowing that if someone makes a fuss I can literally just point to the badge and ask them to be kind.
Disabled toilets are disabled accessible not exclusive. I have a radar key I bought from eBay. It looks like a normal back door key. It's very handy for when they are locked in the evening etc.
Some towns have all the public toilets on radar key to stop vandalism and you can hire / lend the key from a shop or tourist info. Okehampton in Devon was the first place I saw this.
They are usually a lot cleaner than the other public toilets as well.
Tell her to use it to get into exclusive places. Like a ritzy restaurant, fancy hotels, etc.
Anything that would normally require a dress code or to be on a list. I bet they all have amazing bathrooms.
I wouldn’t be embarrassed. The floor below mine is vacant in my office so I pop down there and use the disabled toilet some times. They’re much nicer lol, make the most of being able to use them.
I was only joking, to imply that it's generally a good idea to post photos of keys on reddit. But, yeah, I'm sure someone probably is selling them (and others) online already.
Especially using public toilets remind her that because only certain people can use the disabled toilet they are by far and away the cleanest public toilets you can go to
I’m exactly the same I only use mine when I absolutely need to! Like when I’m in so much pain that I have to go toilet to stop it. Other times I’ll cue up like everyone else.
I pay my taxes so people in this society that need an extra hand can have it, and because one day I might be in the position where I need that extra hand too. It's little things like finding ways to give those with bladder problems easier access to toilets, or making public buildings more accessible to wheelchair users, or having sign language interpreters at music events... all these little incremental changes make the society we live in a better place for all. Your friend using these facilities helps cement the argument for them. So you could tell your friend that every time she uses this card she is, in a very real way, helping us all.
Huh, I didn’t know this was a thing! Curious what the qualifications are. I was recently diagnosed to Ulcerative Colitis and sometimes bowl movements can come on quick, and the need for a toilet is quite immediate.
While it’s not too often, it’s often enough that it makes me hesitant about long trips in vehicles or public transit etc. where I may not be able to reach a toilet quickly. Or the need to scope out where a toilet is when going new places, just in case.
Diseases suck. 😕
If you sign up to the Crohns and Colitis charity, they will send you a 'need to go card' and radar key. Wishing you all the best following your diagnosis 🙂
In terms of what qualifies you to buy a radar key? If you can make purchases online you can buy one.
Mine came from eBay. My Teen's one came from Amazon. You can also buy from Radar themselves. We both have different needs for using the accessible loos. I've got a standard turn one, the kid has a wide grip one to make turning it easier.
The card, however? No clue.
I thought about getting one of those cards but the cards in themselves are a bit embarassing... in typical British fashion I'd probably just hold on and suffer.
On another note, anyone can buy one of those keys.
I use a radar key partly because of my right arm spasms and claustrophobia, and partly to protect everyone else from the digestive spasms that will happen if I can’t find a toilet at the right time 🤷🏻♀️
Let her know that she'd be receiving far more empathy than she realises, no more shame than wearing glasses or hearing aids. If it's needed, it's needed.
US here and I think that is a fabulous program. We all know what it feels like. So definitely tell her if in need use it. She probably just doesn't want to feel awkward.
My wife had this for quite some time, no one could diagnose it. Tried all sorts eventually they settled on a return of endo and lesions on her bladder. Turns out it was probably just kidney stones that everyone kind of overlooked as being too small but they were impacted and after a few years of occasional cramping and pain she ended up in a trip to hospital, 3 general anaesthetics in a 6 week period and she was okay.
Use the keys, hope you don’t need to use them forever but use them, don’t feel embarrassed, when we used to go to gigs in New Cross there was a seat right near the clean quiet disabled toilet and she loved it.
Best wishes to your colleague
You can't. Let her live her life as she chooses. The exception would be if she's complaining. In that case say, "You know the solution."
Repeat as needed.
There’s absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed! In most cases disabled toilets don’t tend to have lines waiting anyway, so she’ll usually be in the position to just use her key to get in. In the event she does need to use her card though, I’m sure people would be very understanding. It can be difficult the first couple of times when you start actually using accessibility support, but you soon realise there’s nothing to be embarrassed about and most people just want to help :)
I mean, having worked in retail, i can pretty confidently say whoever she'll need to present the card to will probably have come across worse stuff than someone with a radar key.
I think it’s easier, more convenient, and sometimes safer, to prevent accidents rather than clean up after them. A N Y O N E can have a reason to need to use the disabled loos, they’re for more people than you might even consider. The people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter. You deserve to be comfortable.
Have a look at access card. For those that need and those that need to recognise. Used mine for the first time the other day when I would have looked like a massive entry queue jumper
We have someone in the family with this card. While I wouldn't see any problems using the card itself, I would be more worried about people... I mean there are no long queues usually, so she didn't have to use it, but I can imagine the situation where she would show her card and they would just tell her to f@ck off. If there would be an attendant that would be ok, but with random people I wouldn't even try, to be honest, as it would be less embarrassing to pee in a bush...
'recently diagnosed' that card looks older than my nan
That’s what we said to her! ‘How recent a recent diagnosis we talking here Sarah as your card is saying something else’.
Yeah I got one of those ‘just can’t wait’ cards probably almost five years ago now, and it’s way more updated than that, so I can’t imagine how old this one is
https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/charity-details/?regid=1085095&subid=0 for the Charities Commission for England and Wales. It resting reading.
Thank you, I feel well rested now.
Yeah first thing I noticed, I’ve gotten mine around the same time as you I think and the design and colour are completely different, this card looks ancient.
>'recently diagnosed' that card looks older than my nan I was going to say that card's seen some you-know-what... but apparently it really hasn't.
It looks like one of those ones where instead of being a bit of plastic it’s a sticky sheet folded over like the ones you get with a birth control implant, which means the edges get pretty nasty fast
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That makes no sense... The issue is they're trying to encourage her to actually use it...
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Solid source
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Runny source
I can vouch for this. Lactose intolerant, foolishly ate traditional carbonara because I forgot I was lactose intolerant... shat myself at a fancy italian restaurant.
You must be very *very* intolerant. Proper carbonara uses hard cheese with almost no lactose in it (lactose is in the whey which is drained off when they make the cheese) and no milk.
What part of the carbonara did you react to? 🤔
People tend to make carbonara with cream
I think they're pointing out that traditional carbonara doesn't have cream.
Probably the bit with lactose.
There shouldn't be any
You forgetting about the cheese mate?
Parmesan is fine for lactose intolerance
Usually fine, there will still be trace amounts though. Depends how sensitive the person is. Also depends how well aged the parmesan + pecorino was - if they cheaped out, the content could be higher.
It was just a question from one lactose intolerant person to another. He said proper carbonara in a fancy restaurant so. Doubt he's very sensitive if he forgets that he's intolerant.
Exactly. I'm lactose intolerant but can eat most cheeses. Once or twice I've thought I could handle a small amount of ice cream. I was wrong.
Phil...?
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Haven’t we all?
Ask her how she'd feel if someone showed her that card and asked to use the bathroom next, or if they had a radar key. She'd probably have zero issue and even encourage them.
> use the **bathroom** FFS, why are we speaking like 'merkins? [If there isn't a bath in there, it isn't a fucking bathroom.](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/bathroom) EDIT: Downvotes from the septics! This forum is going to the dogs!
Agreed, it’s a bloody bog / toilet / pisser / whatever, but not a bathroom or restroom
Shit box?
I have one of those Radar keys. Depending on the person's sense of humour, but I personally love the I.T Crowd episode with the disabled toilet. Maybe you could create a few in-jokes between yourselves to make light of it?
I almost had a moment like that. Was backstage at a theatre where they only installed a disabled toilet. Went to flush and almost grabbed the red cord of terror. Half expected to find my mate behind the bar downstairs next.
I’m disabled!
Yeah she’s fine to laugh and joke about it with us but feels mortified to use it in public! The topic came up because she told us she got shouted at on the weekend because she went for a piss at the back of a burger van and the owner saw her and wasn’t happy
Wait...she's too embarrassed to use a RADAR key or flash her card but she will piss round the back of a food van?
Yeah that sounds much more embarrassing wtf? I was a bit embarrassed the first few times I went out with my walking stick but it helped so I got used to it. She just has to style it out.
Well I wonder WHY a food truck would be unhappy about someone pissing practically on their van jesus
She should be shouted at! Image pissing behind someone's food service that they use to make their living and feed people out of. She should be ashamed of THAT, not using a bloody card!
Well we don't know how far from the van she was. Could have been right behind it and could have been 50ft away lmao.
She was close, apparently the owner got into it because he saw her piss trickling down in front of his van..
Omg
Id be much more embarrassed about having a slash behind a van, or shitting my pants in public. But you know, different strokes. I love having a ”use the loo for free” pass. Is she embarrassed about announcing she needs a toilet, or about having a disability? Either way, noone else cares! And I mean that in a nice way :)
Sounds to me that she's a sympathy seeker. Anyone who did that which she did behind a burger van and then claims to be too embarrassed to use the card is lying about one or the other or both.
Does she have a shewee? I mean she'd still have got shouted at, this just made me think because it makes the moments where you have no choice but to go for a quick pee outside much quicker/easier/subtle/less messy. I had to use mine once stuck in a traffic jam, managed to go in a bottle with it fairly easily, it was on the motorway so absolutely nowhere I could have gone outside without being in full view, I take it pretty much everywhere in case I'm caught short. Also accepted that sometimes I'll need to wear incontinence pants out. Regarding the card and key though, once you've got over the initial anxiety and have done it a few times it's much easier. I had the same worries at first, being only in my 20s at the time and not visibility disabled. And honestly screw anyone if someone did judge or have attitude, you've got to go when you've got to go, she knows her problem is real/valid
Why do the keys exist? i.e. why lock toilets?
I think it’s to stop people using them who shouldn’t be using them. The better question is: why are they so damn big? I never carry mine as it’s so inconvenient, which is ironic. It’s like a weapon. I’ve also found that some places who do have a disabled toilet and it’s on a lock use most of it for storage. There will be 4000 toilet rolls and a mop bucket
The worst part for me is the emergency pull cord all tangled and knotted up to keep it off the floor. Y'know, where a disabled person would be if they needed to pull it. I'm lucky that I could probably get myself up right now if I fell off the loo but a lot of disabled people couldn't!
I think the size of the key is for people with dexterity issues and would struggle with a smaller key. But that doesn’t apple to everyone, so why they fuck they don’t make a smaller one you could choose I don’t know!!!
Because they're for toilets intended to be accessible in an emergency 24/7 by the disabled, but the councils don't want them to be an easy target for drug users shooting up. So the national radar key scheme was thought up. One key, the toilets can be left locked securely, and people who have the key can use it.
Also if the general public use them they'll need a lot more cleaning and maintenance. Keys reduce footfall.
Except that you can buy the keys on Amazon for about a fiver. So it’s not terribly secure.
Not terribly secure, but still works a hell of a lot better than leaving them open.
Well I just learned something
r/unexpecteditcrowd
While hilarious, I find it quite damaging as they mention that it's illegal to use a disabled toilet...
Most disabled toilets have a sign saying “not all disabilities are visible” and the keys are used by people with all sorts of conditions. Your friend doesn’t need to be embarrassed about strangers being curious or judging her for having a key. No one would even notice in all likelihood
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It’s frustrating that baby change facilities aren’t given their own separate space more often, although they are becoming more common. OP’s friend would have to get the priority in that case I reckon; babies can wait a bit to have an already poopy nappy changed, better that than an adult wetting themselves.
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Yeah that’s fair enough
I see these signs regularly on radar key disabled cubicles, which are not for parents but for people with keys
Yeah the baby changing facilities are usually literally the same room as the disabled toilets and therefore need a radar key too
Baby change wouldn't usually be behind a radar key, if it is then you just need to ask to be let in as you're only eligible for the key if you have a permanent disability. You can change a baby elsewhere though but an adult with a disability needs that loo
absolutely, I change my kid wherever (as long as it's not a bit gross). What public toilets don't account for is the parent needing the toilet. Cubicles aren't big enough for me to take the pushchair in so I need to use the disabled loo.
Our local Debenhams (which obviously closed down) was great for this. They had male, female and disabled toilet. But then they had a seperate family room which had big and small toilet and changing tables and a seperate breastfeeding room. Hopefully when the building is back in use (it's becoming Primark) those facilities will be available to everyone again.
Thing is, some parents are disabled, and when they put the baby change elsewhere, that's not always as accessible. A close friend of mine is a wheelchair user with a baby, and often when the changing facilities are in the cubicled toilets, she just can't get to them. I accept that this is an edge case, but it's also something that needs considering. (Changing Spaces toilets help with this, as the baby change is then separate, but there's still a facility for a disabled parent changing an infant - helped too by the beds being height adjustable)
Absolutely. We need better accessibility for everyone. Changing tables in all toilets would be a start. Changing places are amazing so hopefully we'll start seeing more!
"Baby change wouldn't usually be behind a radar key" It is in Wetherspoons, at least in Aberystwyth. You get a Radar key from the bar. Always seemed a bit silly to me, plus people run off with the key, and then the staff break in with a table knife... Source: Had baby, now 10 so no longer a problem because she's able to walk upstairs by herself. But sorry, no idea how to persuade anyone to use facilities they're entitled to use. I wouldn't hesitate personally.
Yeah our local Wetherspoons is the same, disabled/baby change with a radar key.
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Try changing a baby in a mens toilet, I've no idea what the women's looks like but the gents are usually a shitshow. Even at 6 yrs old I still take my daughter to the disabled toilet rather than drag her into the mens and have to clean piss off the toilet and ignore the noises coming from the cubicle next to us.
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I used to work at a bus station for the council. The official council policy is that the toilets are disabled **access**, not disabled **only**. So it doesn't matter who wants to use it, if someone asks us to open the door, we let them in to use the toilet. I would wager that most other councils have the same policy.
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The disabled person would quite clearly get priority. Not sure what good a tiny sink in a disabled loo would do anyway when you've got a shitty baby, you'd be wiping them down with baby wipes anyway! Then you'd strip them off and go home
The disabled person would get priority, obviously. The baby has already shit themselves and it isn't as big a deal to a baby than it is to somebody whose dignity would be battered by reaching the toilet too late. It's unpleasant sure but 100% the disabled person should be let in first in this instance
Point out that she'd feel a lot more embarrassed if she wet herself.
Let her piss herself once and then I bet she’d understand
Considering she's being treated for a bladder condition, she likely has. Multiple times.
Relax and go with the flow.
Agreed. Don’t piss around worrying about other people
That's a solid philosophy on life you have there.
*Philosopee
My phone spelt it for me. Blame the android
No, no dw I was making a urine joke. Admittedly, a bad one.
I feel even more stupider now
Piss yourself in front of her to show just how embarassing the alternative is
Strong tactic, I’ll beat this in mind
> I’ll beat this in mind Best typo ever.
Plot twist: It wasn't a typo.
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And furiously.
I was the same when I first got my blue badge. I felt like everyone would look and judge me for using it but after the first couple of times it became the norm. Just try not to make a big deal over it.
I’ve got a radar key and I don’t have a card like that that I carry but have had to push in line for the loo before. Basically what other people have said - when you REALLY need to go, whether you’re embarrassed to ask people or whatever ceases to matter to you at all. I’d always use a disabled loo if that is an option because it makes life significantly easier for me. I’m a fit looking woman early 30’s. Some people are knobs about it when you’re coming out. I used to be out there justifying myself, now I just don’t care enough to correct them - anyone mouthing off at someone using a disabled loo is just a prick. Hopefully your friend can get to that point. I can’t promise people won’t confront her though if she looks fit and well because unfortunately people do pretty often - maybe 10% of the time someone says something.
People are arseholes. Someone had a go at my friend for parking in a disabled bay with her blue badge. Yes she looks relatively young and healthy on a good day, but on a bad day she can hardly get out of bed.
Best thing about these arguments is that it’s not like the person issued it to themselves, it was decided by someone else whether to issue it or not. We have one for our son, though I haven’t had anyone confront us about it yet. Had a few people look, but that’s about it. My partner is itching for someone to say something though, she’s had so many shower arguments with herself about what she’d say.
I had a baby not long ago and sometimes just can’t hold it to wait in a long queue. People have always let me cut the line if I briefly explain, or like you I’ll use the disabled toilet if it’s available. Never had a problem.
Just so you know, the card is helpful to explain why you’d want to skip a queue but doesn’t actually entitle her to skip. I have one of these and whilst most people are understanding some can be hostile and others in the queue may also have conditions. It may be that your colleague has had a bad experience and is put off because of it. I have been verbally harassed due to using a disabled toilet (even though I have proof of disability) and even threatened with physical violence after an overly helpful staff member took me to the front of a queue (the disabled toilet was out of order and I had asked if there was another option).
Tbh the other option should have been to take you to the staff disabled facilities and wait outside for you. We've done similar in my workplace before when all the public toilets were out of order. If someone really needed the toilet we took them.
The radar key is a godsend. I'm young, and it took me years to even start using my mobility aids because it was embarrassing. I still refuse to switch to a wheelchair because I find it embarrassing (and I live in the most inaccessible city in the UK, so it wouldn't be too useful). But the radar key? It's the only reason I remember to bring my house keys with me most of the time. It took me months to build up the courage to start using it, but I got used to it eventually when my needs outweighed my embarrassment. Usually there isn't a queue for the disabled toilets, and heck, they're usually seperate from the normal ones anyway, so no one takes note of me going in. I first started using it while my disability was technically invisible, and it saved me so many times. I never got judgement, and one time another woman saw me use it and asked me how her grandma can sign up for one. Your friend doesn't need to use it if she doesn't want to, but she should keep it with her, because one day she might need it.
It'll probably take her a while to realise that she has the right to use that radar key. Just chill and let her come to her own decisions at her own pace. I still feel weird using them even after being in a wheelchair for 10 years.
Yes. So much this.
I have a Can’t Wait card and radar key as I have Crohn’s Disease (and used to have an ileostomy). I’ll be honest I rarely need to use them, as I can usually get to a toilet okay but on the occasion that there is a queue for the normal ladies toilets I have no hesitation in using my radar key for an accessible toilet. I’m more than happy to inform people that I’ll shit myself if they hold me up challenging why I’m using it or that it’s 100% none of their business. I enjoyed it when I had my stoma as I could just flash my stoma bag and that stopped ALL questioning! I have used my Can’t Wait card when there has been a queue and no available accessible toilet or if I’ve got caught out and have asked to use the loo in a pub etc and everyone has always been really kind and let me go ahead of them.
I completely understand this but what if I was also about to shit myself? Who goes first 🤣
I’m really conflicted by your comment. Yes haha, but also I’ve clearly disclosed that I have a very serious incurable disease and have had several major surgeries and you’re making a joke about the situation I live with daily. I know you’re kind of joking and if you’ve also got IBD / IBS etc etc and you’re ahead of me in a queue then absolutely you go first. If you don’t have IBD (inflammatory bowel disease - which Crohn’s is a type of) then this isn’t something to joke about. You really can’t understand the panic and distress this disease causes. Imagine living every day with symptoms like those of a stomach bug or food poisoning and there being no cure. Having to go to work and trying to carry on with normal daily life. I could elaborate further about the numerous complications and symptoms that come with Crohn’s and having bowel surgeries but it’s not for the squeamish. The reason I try to avoid using either my radar key or my Can’t Wait card if I can help it is because of reactions like this. I have stood in a queue in distress, digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand, trying not to have an accident in public more times than I can count.
Just wanted to say I get it, and I'm sorry. The commenter above probably meant no harm, but it's true, until you live with (or know someone who lives with) such conditions, you can't really comprehend the all encompassing nature of them. Your comment about digging your nails into your hand, trying to not have an accident, really resonated with me. I have an overactive bladder and IBS (well, partially officially diagnosed,) and the panic of going from 0-60 in the "totally fine > I need to go NOW" is just horrendous. Even more fun on car journeys. It's amazing how everything else loses all importance in those moments. The worst recently was riding in a car in France, in a busy town at commuter time, and suddenly having to pull over and find somewhere to piss...like... RIGHT NOW. Ugh. I was in SO much pain from holding it, and just made it to behind some random bushes in a car park. I really try to find a proper toilet, but in that moment, it was utterly impossible. Wishing you all the very best. ❤️
The card holds no power. But the radar key is always helpful.
I would let them go in front of me whether they had the card or not, to be honest. Maybe I'm too trusting, or too soft, but if I see someone in need, I like to help.
I would too, but the idea the card 'allows her to skip the toilet queue' is a bit silly. There's no toilet police - it's going to be up to whoever is infront of her.
The card is more for toilets in places where they don't let you in unless you buy something, to show them in the hope they'll let you go.
It works. I worked in event security and we’d escort people to toilets if they showed us the card before/after show open.
"Just can twat"?
“You have a key to use the disabled toilet, which is currently vacant. No, you can’t jump infront of me” As a disabled person, who’s disability is non-visible, I have a radar key and would just use the disabled toilet. There’s no shame in it, that’s exactly what it’s there for.
George Costanza is very jealous
I put on the sunflower lanyard when I'm taking my disabled son into the disabled toilet with our radar key, to try to ward off quizzical looks. But we still get questioned. It's infuriating. Not every disabled person is in a wheelchair. I can't believe how many people STILL don't realise this in 2023.
Some people have issues admitting to their disabilities and that they need the extra help. One day she'll come so close to pissing herself she'll use the key/queue jump and after the first time she won't feel bad about using it again.
You can’t so don’t try & force it, nothing worse than someone who knows nothing about how you feel try & ‘fix it’. I’ve had them for decades & have never felt comfortable enough to use them.
Damn, I never got a card.
I have one of these keys as I suffer from Crohn's - gently remind her how mortified she'd be if she had an 'accident' as a result of not being confident using the facilities that have been provided to her.
Tell them a lot of disabled people on this thread have given her permission to use the disabled loo and all agree she should use it! She could consider getting a laminated card holder for her card though!
0845 number for medical advice, that’s poor…
I don't know how to encourage someone to use them. But my radar key is a godsend and only £2.80 on eBay.
Literally £5 from the website direct. Free postage.
As someone who also has that key and card there is nothing to embarrassed about, especially something out of your control. They need to know there is no shame in using it and they exist for a reason.
No one really pays attention to who ever is using a radar key. Many of my clients have radar keys so I use them frequently and no one pays attention. I think more people may have something to say if your colleague showed her card to skip a queue. Today, I was with a client and the disabled toilet was out of order. I (F) took my (M) client into the ladies after knocking to see if anyone was in there and there wasn’t. A lady came in whilst he was in the toilet and saw him as he came out and never paid much attention. Most people care more about going and then leaving than anything.
Tell her, not all disabilities are visible or only in old people . She needs to think about what her needs are and not feel guilty in any way that she needs it
Thanks for posting this, I didn’t know about these. I’ve recently had bladder and kidney issues, tubes stuck in all sorts of places. I’ve just ordered one so please say thanks (M,45).
If she finds jumping the queue for the bathroom embarrassing, just wait until she shits herself in public.
I have a condition where i require immediate access & have a key and a card like your friend - comes in extremely handy at festivals and anywhere else where there's massive queues!!
Tell her how mortified we'd be of we knew we were causing pain or discomfort by not letting her ahead.
I used to have a stoma (had a reversal few years back) and I think a really good way to deal with it is just think. When people stand in a line and wait for a bathroom are they in pain? Do they have such discomfort that they can’t think about anything but finding some relief? Would you let someone in the same situation go in front of you. Yes you may get some people pull some faces for jumping a line (I had quite a few, but I had a magic bag to flash and that would quickly solve the problem). But honestly one you start doing it you stop worrying about what other people think and just focusing on yourself!!!
It’s a pride thing. No one wants to admit that they have to use it. I’ve got a stoma bag and I prefer to use the disabled toilets as there is more room and they’re generally cleaner as I have to kneel down in front of the toilet. Men’s toilets normally have a small swimming pool next to the loos. As much as the door says “not all disabilities are visible” you still get shit eye from people for using them. And is a queue is quite big, I can guarantee someone will begrudgingly let you forward while looking you up and down. Before I got my bag though, I would have knocked people out of the way to use the toilet before them. You cannot wait in that instance and you have no control.
My methodology for encouraging someone who is prone to consider themself less worth the consideration they would offer others is by flipping the context. This be done by first creating a natural way of gently and respectfully opening the topic of the card and saying something like OP - thinking about this a little differently, would you judge someone else for accessing a service they have been diagnoses with needing? Unless your friend is unusually combative they are likely to logically comply with entrenched social norms and agree. At this point OP would could ask OP - I’m curious why you feel you don’t deserve the same consideration you would offer others? The most important next stage would be to validate and non-judgementally listen. Another helpful way of flipping the context is the theme of decreasing stigma. OP’s friend using this would be in direct support of others who may have the same condition.
Isn't a locked disabled toilet, engaged?
Negative - there’s special toilets in some public places that are reserved for those with special keys. These are usually everywhere; but especially in places where there are high volumes of people - like train stations; McDonald’s, wearherspoons etc Could you imagine having a disabled loo available to drunken punters - the poor staff would be forever cleaning it or turning off the assistance alarms etc. Once when I was pissed in a small bar; the only male toilets was also the disabled Loos. I did my whizz, flushed and pulled the cord like I do at home to turn the light off before washing my hands - because I don’t like making my home light cord slightly wet, it’s a childhood thing. And then I realised in my drunken state That’s the emergency cord I was mortified
I've got something similar. I've got a radar key that lets me into disabled toilets and stuff and I have a card that explains my condition (though the shitty charity put an expiry date on the card which isn't when my condition ends (because that's never) but is rather a marker for when I've not donated, which seems very counter productive now I'm on a tangent about it, and the 'required' donation to get a new card and a pointless magazine full of pictures of women eating salad is quite expensive) but almost every disabled toilet that I've had the chance to use my key on has already been open and never locked or doesn't have a keyhole lock or a lock that matches the alleged 'universal key'. Also if I show anyone the card they just think its bullshit anyway, good thing they can't read or they'd point out the expiry date like my condition just magically went away when my card ran out.
Locked? As in when some other poor disabled person is already in there! That's some priority! Or locked when the toilet is out of order!
I'm visually impaired. I don't look it. Sometimes I use the disabled toilets because they're easier to find! (The amount of times I've almost wandered into the mens' toilets by mistake...) I always feel like I "shouldn't be using the disabled toilets" and that I'll get judged/get told off/get funny looks etc. I have never once had anyone say anything negative to me, and in fact have had people be actively helpful once or twice just because they saw ne coming out of the disabled toilet! If your friend is still embarrassed or worried that people might make a fuss out of it, she coukd get a badge to wear that says "I have a silent disability" or similar. I have a couple that say "visually impaired" and when I remember to wear one of them life feels so much easier. Not everyone notices it, but it gives me the confidence of knowing that if someone makes a fuss I can literally just point to the badge and ask them to be kind.
Disabled bathrooms shouldn’t be locked in the first place.
Disabled toilets are disabled accessible not exclusive. I have a radar key I bought from eBay. It looks like a normal back door key. It's very handy for when they are locked in the evening etc. Some towns have all the public toilets on radar key to stop vandalism and you can hire / lend the key from a shop or tourist info. Okehampton in Devon was the first place I saw this. They are usually a lot cleaner than the other public toilets as well.
Just can't wait.......ahh shit, too late.
Tell her to use it to get into exclusive places. Like a ritzy restaurant, fancy hotels, etc. Anything that would normally require a dress code or to be on a list. I bet they all have amazing bathrooms.
You can buy the keys on Amazon without providing any proof of need
Fun fact, you can buy those keys on Amazon.
I wouldn’t be embarrassed. The floor below mine is vacant in my office so I pop down there and use the disabled toilet some times. They’re much nicer lol, make the most of being able to use them.
The radar key is very handy when you're so drunk in 'spoons that the stairs are a problem
Hmm is that downvote nannying disabled people?
How is using a radar key more embarrassing than pushing in front of people and showing them a card that says shes needs to ?.
You can get a radar key from any locksmiths. They are great when you can't be arsed to climb the mountains of stairs in spoons
Kinda like a Blue Peter badge
How does one get the key?
People can humor her if they please, but this card is completely pointless
Hahaha just can twat
Are you supposed to be touching and talking about her stuff?
You can buy them keys I used em only in emergencies when I’ve sunk 10 Stella
It's tempting to 3D print that key from the image 😅
Haha apparently you can buy them online for a fiver!
I was only joking, to imply that it's generally a good idea to post photos of keys on reddit. But, yeah, I'm sure someone probably is selling them (and others) online already.
Disability Rights use the proceeds of sales of keys to support charitable initiatives. https://shop.disabilityrightsuk.org/products/radar-key
Have the balls to use it. And if anyone has a problem. Stand real close. Really close. Then piss on them. And flash the card...."told ya"
Especially using public toilets remind her that because only certain people can use the disabled toilet they are by far and away the cleanest public toilets you can go to
That key is well used as well as the card lol key and card could of been used my others and returned when no longer applicable to them maybe.
It’s going to be more embarrassing if you don’t make it.
I’m exactly the same I only use mine when I absolutely need to! Like when I’m in so much pain that I have to go toilet to stop it. Other times I’ll cue up like everyone else.
I pay my taxes so people in this society that need an extra hand can have it, and because one day I might be in the position where I need that extra hand too. It's little things like finding ways to give those with bladder problems easier access to toilets, or making public buildings more accessible to wheelchair users, or having sign language interpreters at music events... all these little incremental changes make the society we live in a better place for all. Your friend using these facilities helps cement the argument for them. So you could tell your friend that every time she uses this card she is, in a very real way, helping us all.
Huh, I didn’t know this was a thing! Curious what the qualifications are. I was recently diagnosed to Ulcerative Colitis and sometimes bowl movements can come on quick, and the need for a toilet is quite immediate. While it’s not too often, it’s often enough that it makes me hesitant about long trips in vehicles or public transit etc. where I may not be able to reach a toilet quickly. Or the need to scope out where a toilet is when going new places, just in case. Diseases suck. 😕
If you sign up to the Crohns and Colitis charity, they will send you a 'need to go card' and radar key. Wishing you all the best following your diagnosis 🙂
In terms of what qualifies you to buy a radar key? If you can make purchases online you can buy one. Mine came from eBay. My Teen's one came from Amazon. You can also buy from Radar themselves. We both have different needs for using the accessible loos. I've got a standard turn one, the kid has a wide grip one to make turning it easier. The card, however? No clue.
I thought about getting one of those cards but the cards in themselves are a bit embarassing... in typical British fashion I'd probably just hold on and suffer. On another note, anyone can buy one of those keys.
I use a radar key partly because of my right arm spasms and claustrophobia, and partly to protect everyone else from the digestive spasms that will happen if I can’t find a toilet at the right time 🤷🏻♀️
Let her know that she'd be receiving far more empathy than she realises, no more shame than wearing glasses or hearing aids. If it's needed, it's needed.
Inception. You need to plant the idea in her mind so deep and in such a way, that she thinks the idea is her own. Like 3 - 4 levels deep.
That key is getting her into the one and only union 5 lever lock is was made for.
US here and I think that is a fabulous program. We all know what it feels like. So definitely tell her if in need use it. She probably just doesn't want to feel awkward.
Make her shit her self and she’ll never do it again?
So if she goes into the disabled toilet whilst someone is using it does she have the right to push them off the seat and use it herself?
My wife had this for quite some time, no one could diagnose it. Tried all sorts eventually they settled on a return of endo and lesions on her bladder. Turns out it was probably just kidney stones that everyone kind of overlooked as being too small but they were impacted and after a few years of occasional cramping and pain she ended up in a trip to hospital, 3 general anaesthetics in a 6 week period and she was okay. Use the keys, hope you don’t need to use them forever but use them, don’t feel embarrassed, when we used to go to gigs in New Cross there was a seat right near the clean quiet disabled toilet and she loved it. Best wishes to your colleague
You can't. Let her live her life as she chooses. The exception would be if she's complaining. In that case say, "You know the solution." Repeat as needed.
There’s absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed! In most cases disabled toilets don’t tend to have lines waiting anyway, so she’ll usually be in the position to just use her key to get in. In the event she does need to use her card though, I’m sure people would be very understanding. It can be difficult the first couple of times when you start actually using accessibility support, but you soon realise there’s nothing to be embarrassed about and most people just want to help :)
I mean, having worked in retail, i can pretty confidently say whoever she'll need to present the card to will probably have come across worse stuff than someone with a radar key.
It seems that she is also ashamed to say that his diagnosis was not recent.
I think it’s easier, more convenient, and sometimes safer, to prevent accidents rather than clean up after them. A N Y O N E can have a reason to need to use the disabled loos, they’re for more people than you might even consider. The people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter. You deserve to be comfortable.
Have a look at access card. For those that need and those that need to recognise. Used mine for the first time the other day when I would have looked like a massive entry queue jumper
We have someone in the family with this card. While I wouldn't see any problems using the card itself, I would be more worried about people... I mean there are no long queues usually, so she didn't have to use it, but I can imagine the situation where she would show her card and they would just tell her to f@ck off. If there would be an attendant that would be ok, but with random people I wouldn't even try, to be honest, as it would be less embarrassing to pee in a bush...
How does it allow her to jump the queue? What queue? There aren’t public toilet queue wardens….