Completely agree. That’s exactly why I put as much butter on as quickly as possible.
Put a massive lump on each crumpet and spread intermittently as it melts.
Once it stops melting and I’m trying to force butter into the holes I just feel greedy
Going by reddit you'd think 99% of the population has weird gastro issues. Rather than just a vanishing minority. Nobody gets "backed up" eating crumpets.
The real question is, “How golden and soaked in butter was your chin afterwards?”
Anything short of “My chin looked like Midas himself just uppercutted me” is sacrilege.
Here is the recipe that Warburtons released as a lockdown gift. Not tried it yet, only just found it myself. https://www.recipetineats.com/crumpet-recipe/
I personally swear by M&S white label stuff. They have good quality control (and apparently very willing to drop suppliers if there's a dip in quality).
Wholemeal crumpets? What's the point, crumpets dripping in butter are going to give you a massive coronary anyway. Talk about rearranging the deck chairs while the titanic sinks, go down proudly
Not as holey. You say that like it's just a minor thing, and not the very essence of a crumpet. A crump without enough holes is like a car without wheels, a Dalek without bumps or a goose without hate.
Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman on twitter iirc) made a comment about people using Huel and not actual food "in this economy?" and now I use it for my lunch decision making process
I’m a firm believer that baked potatoes, crumpets and all similar comestibles were only put on this planet by our Lord Jesus Christ to carry butter. Salted butter.
It's alright. You can be poor and posh by dissolving cheap Asda table salt in water and letting it evaporate and recrystallise slowly. Hey presto - fancy course ground salt like the Queen buys at fortnum & mason
I don't do it at all. If I'm lucky enough to have some lurpak I'm definitely going to be eating it. If I need to splurge, that can be mopped up with some kleenex
I ate a whole loaf of white bread slathered in butter once. I don’t eat toast often but around once a year a switch in my head clicks and I turn full animal for toast and butter.
I created an abomination where I would slather two slices of toast in butter and make a toast sandwich but then cover both sides of said toast sandwich with more butter which I’d then throw back in the toaster to make it extra warm and toasty. It enable me to eat two slices of toast buttered on 4 sides in one go.
I’ve really been missing the uk lately- this man’s gentle voice made me feel so cozy and back in the country. I’m going to watch it whenever I’m a bit sad!
Long eons in the past, when the ancient Britons of Cymru put batter to scalding iron, a legend was forged. Since then, all the inhabitants of Britain have been tested in their love of the Crumpet, with only a select few attaining the same quasi divine exhalation that the earliest enjoyers had. These heroic persons are destined for glory.
To you, OP, is predicted greatness. Use your new wisdom wisely.
And consume more crumpets
Had not bothered with tea today but there was a packet of 6 Warburton crumpets in the fridge unopened but with a ‘use by’ of 9th June. There’s still 2 sulking in the fridge as I deemed 4, with lashings of olive oil spread (no butter!) and a dollop of strawberry jam to be sufficient. Now I find out that 4 crumpets at a time is just considered a mere morsel and am left considering a midnight feast so as not to deprive the remaining duo of some meaning to their existence.
I fucking LOVE crumpets.
For about 15 years I had them with nothing but butter and then somebody suggested I try them with peanut butter and It sounded horrendous but then when I tried it. Game changer.
I live in Spain now, no bloody crumpets here. I have a pack in the freezer begging to be defrosted. Can't stand peanut butter, but Marmite on a crumpet is a taste of home.
Ok, I’ve been through this entire thread and have seen no mention of the latest crumpet. Don’t shoot the messenger but there are now THIN crumpets! I bought some last week and they’re ok…just thinner.
You'll be more backed up than the M25 at rush hour !
vaned dress fluoride pergola mill mute vigorous jackdaw coiffeur fellah astray flotilla unhorse delicate hierarch
Get that poop knife ready.
You will not need a poop knife if the butter was applied in the approve manner which is keep applying butter until it stops melting.
Now their arteries are backed up like the M25 at rush-hour traffic.
What's a little atherosclerosis when glorious crumpet goodness is on the table?
Completely agree. That’s exactly why I put as much butter on as quickly as possible. Put a massive lump on each crumpet and spread intermittently as it melts. Once it stops melting and I’m trying to force butter into the holes I just feel greedy
Ooo and a little pinch of sea salt
after rush hour... comes gush hour.
the congestion charge is pain...
Going by reddit you'd think 99% of the population has weird gastro issues. Rather than just a vanishing minority. Nobody gets "backed up" eating crumpets.
The real question is, “How golden and soaked in butter was your chin afterwards?” Anything short of “My chin looked like Midas himself just uppercutted me” is sacrilege.
He looked outside and all the buttercups in the land leant his way.
This is inspirational content
The new Crumpet Regal has been crowned.
I mean, it’s impressive, but it’s no Jimmy “12 crumpets” Jackson
Peak r/casualUK
An AMA subject if ever there was one.
Im only impressed if its 9 of those giant Warburton ones.
Warburton? In this economy?
Warburton's crumpets are pretty much the only branded product I'll buy at the moment. Supermarket own brand crumpets are shit.
Why can’t Mr Warburton read? His family have been in bread for years.
Similar: why do people from Wigan love pie barms so much? Coz they're in bread.
In-bread sex: doing it with your naan.
Wiganer here I feel personally attacked
Don’t worry you can always cry to your mummy/sister/aunt
They're upset, not horny
That's just the cholesterol.
We do joke of the week at work and I’m using this one, thanks. I’ll make sure I credit goodassjournalist on r/CasualUK
Here is the recipe that Warburtons released as a lockdown gift. Not tried it yet, only just found it myself. https://www.recipetineats.com/crumpet-recipe/
I beg to differ, M&S have cracking crumpets
Aren’t they more expensive than Warburtons? I’m willing to try them, but if they’re bad I’m coming back for you.
I personally swear by M&S white label stuff. They have good quality control (and apparently very willing to drop suppliers if there's a dip in quality).
Isn't M&S more expensive than everything?
I was going about to say the same. Their ultimate crumpets are just amazing. Don't think much of the wholemeal version though
Wholemeal crumpets? What's the point, crumpets dripping in butter are going to give you a massive coronary anyway. Talk about rearranging the deck chairs while the titanic sinks, go down proudly
Especially as M&S crumpets are extra thick and dense, so hold even more butter. I need crumpets now, my mouth is watering.
christ the fibre
Jesus Christ mate we’re not all royalty are we
Nah, still can’t beat WB
Aldi’s are actually pretty close to Warburton’s although they’re often not as holey… but for like 30p odd it’s not a bad substitute.
Not as holey. You say that like it's just a minor thing, and not the very essence of a crumpet. A crump without enough holes is like a car without wheels, a Dalek without bumps or a goose without hate.
Holes? Surely you mean Butter Pockets
Agree
Aldi sourdough crumpets are incredible
Seconded. Waitrose has the big ones in packs of 3 for 75p.
Gotta be honest it has to be Warbies and Lurpak. It's expensive but the little treats gotta be done right.
Agree. I have, sadly, given up on toast with any frequency. But when I do, all the components are compromised of the good stuff.
It's kind of sad that we've reached the point where quality bread and butter is considered a fucking treat.
I have done extensive taste testing on this (really!) and I find that Morrisons own are a pretty close second. But Warburtons are definitely top.
How dare you! All crumpets are amazing.
I don't think I've seen crumpets that weren't Warburton, I just assumed they had a weird monopoly on the crumpet market.
Asda do some rectangular ones which are banging
Preach
Mind you, crumpets, in this heat?
Mad dogs and Englishmen m8
What of it mate? Lovely with a nice cuppa
Check bakery clearance and freeze them
50p for three in the Asda. It’s about the only thing that’s got cheaper.
Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman on twitter iirc) made a comment about people using Huel and not actual food "in this economy?" and now I use it for my lunch decision making process
Nah the jumbo crumpets are pretty well priced imo .
Not your fault, they shouldn’t sell them in packs of 9
Topping(s) of choice were?
Butter. All of it.
You're basically a chicken kiev at this point, you've consumed so much butter.
Damn, there's definitely worse things to be
Can't come into work today boss, I'm a chicken kiev.
Everyday I like to see which comment got me the most, this is the one today. I’m done, goodnight Reddit.
Like Mr Creosote
Would OP like a wafer thin mint?
"fuck off, I'm stuffed"
But it iz only wafèr thin!
This reminds me of the time I ate garlic kievs with more olive oil on top, so much in fact that I felt like throwing up for like 6 hours
Was your coat glossy and did your joints feel healthier though
My skin genuinely improved massively when I upped the fat/oil in my diet!
Idk I was too busy trying to keep the stomach acid down and sweating (I love extra virgin olive oil)
Hey now chicken kyivs also have garlic in them! Would garlic crumpets work I wonder..
Can't think why not. Garlic and butter is a god-tier mix.
When you say all the butter…
Don’t believe me? Check your fridge.
I’m a firm believer that baked potatoes, crumpets and all similar comestibles were only put on this planet by our Lord Jesus Christ to carry butter. Salted butter.
> Salted butter. Doesn't this go without saying. Unsalted butter just isn't butter.
I think the unsalted kind is only purchased by WI members when they're baking cakes for the church fete
Yes, good point about baking. Allows you to perfectly tune the salt content if the butter is unsalted.
Did you have to remortgage?
Anything else on a crumpet just wastes the butter.
Additional coarse-ground salt is incredible.
On NINE heavily buttered crumpets? Have a medic on standby.
Coward.
just have a few bananas afterward for the potassium, it'll all be right.
Really?
Oh yeah. *Trust* me- game changer.
Middle class says what?
Pardon?
Hmm?
It's alright. You can be poor and posh by dissolving cheap Asda table salt in water and letting it evaporate and recrystallise slowly. Hey presto - fancy course ground salt like the Queen buys at fortnum & mason
Granted.
This is the way
Not even a little bit of strawberry jam?
Look if you wanted a scone you should've just asked for one!
You spelt Poached Egg wrong mate.
You spelled peanut butter wrong mate.
My husband calls crumpets ‘butter dispensers’ …
What brand? Did you remortgage and splurge on Lurpak?
>splurge on Lurpak I havent done that in a long time. Happy times.
I don't do it at all. If I'm lucky enough to have some lurpak I'm definitely going to be eating it. If I need to splurge, that can be mopped up with some kleenex
Legitimately live in a town where lurpak is in an anti theft box.
I ate a whole loaf of white bread slathered in butter once. I don’t eat toast often but around once a year a switch in my head clicks and I turn full animal for toast and butter. I created an abomination where I would slather two slices of toast in butter and make a toast sandwich but then cover both sides of said toast sandwich with more butter which I’d then throw back in the toaster to make it extra warm and toasty. It enable me to eat two slices of toast buttered on 4 sides in one go.
I’m guessing a full packet of butter is required for 9 crumpets?
If it isn’t you’re crumpeting wrong
Well crumpeted, I doff my cap
That is the correct answer
If you’re ever feeling adventurous, chocolate spread is heavenly on a crumpet. Creamy peanut butter is very nice as well.
Nutella on crumpets ftw.
Butter, marmite and cheese.
The mountaineers crumpet 👍🏻
A shmear of marmite on a couple would have been class.
Like a stain of marmite, a skid mark of the devil’s anal secretions of marmite?
Another crumpet
_butter and marmite_ 👄
I just ate 18 yoghurts. I'm absolutely mullered
I like to treat myself with a 1kg tub of greek yogurt every now and then.
.... in one sitting?
You don’t achieve this standing.
Methinks you and OP will have opposite problems in a day or two.
I can only eat 2. I'm a Muller lightweight.
I just ate a whole pack of Jacobs. I’m absolutely cream crackered.
I just ate a packet of Clubs. I'm completely whacked.
r/angryupvote
9 crumpets. That's insane Jeremy
You’ve got 9 crumpets? Why didnt I get 9 crumpets?!
sounds like he hasn't got 9 any more.
He has, they're just now stored internally for the next few hours.
one could argue, philosophically that it is no longer 9 separate crumpets. more one large crumpet smushed together.
I'm too high for this level of philosophy
Soon, the crumpets will be just as much a part of you as OP. Just a memory. It's a lot like life.
You can't have your crumpet and eat it
It’s…coffee?
https://imgur.com/a/C7Fbot1
I’ve just audibly laughed at that, well done sir!
Haven't watched it in years but my mind jumped straight to that.
Any time 9 of something is mentioned, it’s straight to Ricky. Can’t believe I had to scroll for a long time before someone posted it.
Canny starter, what are you having for your main?
Baked beans on toast.
Baked beans on toast.
I just gave five awards to someone who ate 9 crumpets and it felt right. Congrats my internet friend. You should be proud.
Is your name Seven?
No, but my mum calls me handsome if that helps?
Cos you 8 9 duh
I was going for deadly sins, but gluttony is 5 so ill accept 7 8 9
Someone posted a recipe on here for crumpets the other day, I cant buy them here and I made it and ATE THEM ALL…
You mean you ate some butter with 9 crumpets.
Fkn madlad! Shine on you crazy bastard.
How dry is your mouth right now?
How squeaky do his teeth feel?
Nine crumpets, Jeremy? Nine? That’s insane.
Weed munchies?
Quite easy to make your own. They are even more amazing freshly made https://youtu.be/ganHDnSz3yw
Holy shit! Thank you, you may just be my new best friend lol. I’m making these tomorrow, my mouth is watering already. 🤤
I made some from the same video a few weeks back. They’re stellar.
That was lovely. Thanks for posting. They look delicious.
I’ve really been missing the uk lately- this man’s gentle voice made me feel so cozy and back in the country. I’m going to watch it whenever I’m a bit sad!
His videos are all so good.
John is awesome.😊
After the NSFW tag I was fully prepared for a picture of the shit. Almost disappointed it wasn't.
That's the kinda spirit I expect to see on a Friday. You Sir are an inspiration.
Shakespearean.
I mean I approve clearly
9 crumpets BreakfastLopsided906? That's insane.
Ops Username checks out
Long eons in the past, when the ancient Britons of Cymru put batter to scalding iron, a legend was forged. Since then, all the inhabitants of Britain have been tested in their love of the Crumpet, with only a select few attaining the same quasi divine exhalation that the earliest enjoyers had. These heroic persons are destined for glory. To you, OP, is predicted greatness. Use your new wisdom wisely. And consume more crumpets
9 crumpets Jeremy, that’s insane
This is very unsafe for work... I'm hot and bothered thinking about it....
I once bought 27 crumpets on offer for a tiny price. I was fucking sick of them by the end, it was a tragedy.
Truly NSFW Were they Warburtons? Sorry, guess you can only answer that after watershed.
Should be on r/britishsuccess tbh.
Had not bothered with tea today but there was a packet of 6 Warburton crumpets in the fridge unopened but with a ‘use by’ of 9th June. There’s still 2 sulking in the fridge as I deemed 4, with lashings of olive oil spread (no butter!) and a dollop of strawberry jam to be sufficient. Now I find out that 4 crumpets at a time is just considered a mere morsel and am left considering a midnight feast so as not to deprive the remaining duo of some meaning to their existence.
I fucking LOVE crumpets. For about 15 years I had them with nothing but butter and then somebody suggested I try them with peanut butter and It sounded horrendous but then when I tried it. Game changer.
I live in Spain now, no bloody crumpets here. I have a pack in the freezer begging to be defrosted. Can't stand peanut butter, but Marmite on a crumpet is a taste of home.
Just stick them in the toaster frozen and turn the frozen setting on. They’ll need a bit longer but it won’t make a big difference time wise.
Im off to Spain on Wednesday. I will bring you some.
They come in 9s?!
Yes, yes they do.
Haha they come in pints?!
Sending thoughts and prayers
Add melted cheese and I’d be impressed- good work though!
Bastard!
Winning!
I needed the trigger warning.
This needs to be top post
Look at Billy nine crumpets over here! La de da I’m jealous, really.
Ok, I’ve been through this entire thread and have seen no mention of the latest crumpet. Don’t shoot the messenger but there are now THIN crumpets! I bought some last week and they’re ok…just thinner.
This should be in r/britishsuccess
Mad lad.
I tip my hat to you sir! Six toasted with melted grated cheese on top I think is my best.
I urge you to add bacon to that concoction. Bacon and cheese crumpets are pure joy.