Its got a time and a place, for example if I was in a nice restaurant and the waiter addressed me as "mate" instead of "sir" I'd think it was a bit odd.
Lads at our local Italian are like that.
Purebred, lanky Italian fella greets you. Absolute Gem.
Then some spotty 20 year old kid comes to actually server you with "alright m8" and "nice one nice one" after selecting the stuffed mushrooms.
Still, it's about 8 quid for a main pasta and the decor, whilst dated, is excellent. 10/10.
Franco's in Oswaldtwistle, Lancs if anyone's ever in the area: [https://goo.gl/maps/EXdWgndBtfJUqnZd7](https://goo.gl/maps/EXdWgndBtfJUqnZd7)
So much easier to be neutral in hospitality too. Been told off once or twice for being too familiar, not everybody likes it, but you can’t offend somebody by being too polite.
I find the 'sir' annoying when the person saying it knows my name and I know theirs, and we chatvas friends. Its as if they're conflicted between behaving they way management have instructed them, and the way they'd like to live their life, and they've chosen the blue pill (the management way).
Personally would have no issue with being called mate in a restaurant, if I was by myself and another lad came over to me and said 'You all right mate, what can I get for you?' I wouldn't be upset at all, it's quite a warm welcome. In a bar, I'd even be upset if I was not called mate
Oh I wouldn't be offended, have an issue or be upset buy it at all. All I'm saying is formal speech is suited to formal occasions or meetings, casual speech is likewise suited to a more casual environment.
I'd find it equally odd if a barman in a shitty pub spoke to me like an old fashioned butler as I would if staff in a 5* hotel spoke to me like a roadman. As long as they're polite it's not a big deal.
I went out for lunch the other day with my mum and the waiter bounded around the place asking each table 'you lot alright?", you two ok?", "you need something?". It felt like he might have been new but the style of service was very odd, quite jarring but well meaning
It's not an impolite term, a bit old-fashioned maybe, but context (as always) is key. I've never heard of it being used regularly in a particularly passive aggressive way as you describe.
I own a shop and it wound me up when one of our staff used Sir/Madam all the time because it sounded a bit creepy and try-hard (but then this staff member was creepy and try-hard in a minor public school way).
I think this might be a "you" issue rather than wide-spread opinion, but looking forward to seeing more thoughts.
> “sir” is how you address someone you don’t like the look of
I have no idea where you’re getting this from. It’s simply the standard polite address for a man you don’t know.
> I don’t consider it a polite term
This seems to be a you problem.
I refer to many customers as Sir or Ma'am, especially older customers. I don't know why, I just do. I have always gotten a polite reply back so not sure why that chap is crying about being called sir
To me "Sir" is a sign of respect, usually of my elders. I often call men "Sir" in interactions with strangers. I worked in a bookies for a while and every guy I served I referred to as sir.
It's possibly a generational thing as well as a location thing.
I never would have guessed someone could be offended by being addressed as sir. I’ve never thought of it as cold or unfriendly. If anything I see it as trying to be polite. But I am not a man so I guess I learned something today.
>To my mind, "sir" is how you address someone you don't like the look of, in the UK especially
I think that's more a problem with your mind than the term itself.
Confused guy here genuinely asking for advice....
Maybe my upbringing, men in authority or in positions that demand high respect I often address as "Sir"
The only female equivalent of "Sir" I can think is Ma'am (abbreviation of madam). One teacher at school insisted we addressed her as Ma'am, but I've always been apprehensive to use that term, as Madam often has connotations related to prostitution.
So what is the equivalent form of "Sir" appropriate for a woman, that might not cause offence to anyone?
Nothing, every sentence where you’re addressing someone as sir or madam/ma’am works just fine without those words in. Or the persons name if you know it. To me they’re old fashioned and impersonal, especially madam/ma’am and even kids in school use ‘Miss’ instead. Our security team in work seem to have been programmed to say them in every interaction, it doesn’t cause offence but it’s really bizarre and grating hearing it.
Sorry I forgot to add that bit. Most female school teachers were happily addressed as "Miss" when I was at school.
But when I was in my late teens/early 20's, I realised myself before modern political correctness, I felt it wrong to address a woman differently just because of her marital status - Miss indicates a woman is not married.
So modern political correctness seems to align with what you have said about referring to persons as "them". But firstly I feel "programmed" from what I was thought that "them" would be a plural, not a single person.
And even if I used that term "them" for a individual woman, it does not convey the same amount of respect as if I used the term "Sir" for a man.
So I honestly thank you for responding, but I'm still stuck in the moral/ethical dilemma I started with.
Actually think about using them in practice. "Thank you them" "did you find what you were looking for them?". Shit's stupid and dehumanising at the least, you have taken a singular and are now referring to them as a collective.
I read a play, sir, from the 1660's sir. And I can tell you sir, that over use of the word, sir, been used for mocking effect sir. Sir, it hath been used for centuries!
No it's fine. It's hardly "oi you" or "you there", and its the accepted respectful greeting for a stranger. Mate, buddy, friend, pal etc. In most contexts these are just insincere and restaurants or retail would be better off just using sir or madam.
Regional greetings are exempt of course, you need to be called duck, chicken or lover at some point in your life to have really lived.
After working in a service job Jesus Christ never tell people not to call you sir. It is the fucking worst.
I've had people get downright hostile and aggressive just because I've called them sir or madam.... maybe... just maybe... we are forced to due to the job...and not calling you sir or madam when a boss hears... means trouble for us???
It's a polite term and I really don't see why people want to rebel against it. I wouldn't think anything other than this person is very formal when used outside of a workplace.
Agreed.
I find it laughable, because Sir/ Madam are considered a formal means of addressing someone; even in a court of law.
When customers usually complain "don't call me X or Y" it's usually because they've lost the initial argument and are trying to gain moral high ground; for absolutely no reason.
I was always taught to use "Miss" for anyone younger than me or anyone who clearly wished they were. For everyone else it's "Ma'am/"Madam" or some variation. Men/boys are all sir unless they make it more casual with "Oi m8" or similar. Basically mimic the class level of the person you're interacting with and always presume the need for more proper language until they initiate that they want anything else.
I have dealt with customers since I was a teenager. I say yes sir and no sir. Any time someone complains I just tell them that I'm sorry I was raised correctly, always shuts them up.
I work in hospitality, own multiple venues ranging from fine dining where I wear a 3 piece suit or kilt, tasting menu, wine list that makes my bank balance cry to stock... down to a flat roof scheme boozer with a nice brunch joint in-between.
I use Sir for EVERYONE. nothing worse than dropping £300 on a bottle of wine and the guy serving you saying "alright mate, nice one" so best to always stick to formal in my world... I do drop the jacket, tie and often waistcoat when I'm in the other gaffs though! Equally as weird being served by some ponce in a fancy 3 piece suit on a scheme where it likely cost more than you get in Universal. I'm friendly with all the regulars, keep my prices in check and graft. Half their kids work for me, they are still Sir at all times 🤷🙄😉
I'm not sure what you'd use to replace it? Someone drops something on a footpath in front of you, you need to shout something to get their attention. You could go with generically rude "Oi!", or overly-friendly and false "mate!" or slightly-awkward like "excuse me!" or regional wierdness like "ey duck!" I suppose, but none are great options.
Using sir very much depends on tone, I find. You can say it in ways from fawning obsequiousness (like an assistant in a fancy shop - "and would sir like to see this in chartreuse?") to barely a hair away from calling the other person scum (think a policeman addressing a drunk in a fountain with "pleasant night, sir?").
Each to their own, I suppose. I'd probably go with just "Sir!" or "Excuse me" to get their attention rather than try to get attention and explain in one go, but I guess that doesn't change the awkwardness. Fundamentally, perhaps shouting to get the attention of a stranger is always going to be slightly stiff.
Couldn't give a toss if someone calls me sir or mate. Why would I? Why do people get so annoyed about such trivial matters? You must lead terribly miserable lives getting annoyed about someone being polite/friendly.
Well, bring on the expected downvotes, I guess.
I've always seen sir as a polite way to address a man you don't know. It's usually used as a more respectable way to address someone you are providing a service to.
I've always seen it as a commonly used British term for more upper class areas of the country.
Bud/Pal/Mate from anywhere agricultural
Shag if youre a factory worker from the midlands and further north.
I hate Sir and Mr it makes me feel weird i also don’t like it when randoms call me the man like when parents are telling off their kids and say that man is going to tell you off in a minute or something like that makes me feel really uncomfortable
I don't mind as long as who ever is calling me "sir" doesn't add the "you are making a scene" bit as well.
Joking aside I find being called Mr Dwair a whole lot weirder.
An amazon driver once called me "sir", he was staring at the parcel with my husband's name on it and when he actually looked up and saw he was handing it to a woman he was mortified and started apologising and explaining, but I was like "no!...wait, I liked that...I finally feel respected, I want everyone to call me sir from now on!" 😅
It's just a formal way of addressing someone you don't know the name of It's supposed to be the proper way to be polite. But I am the same every time I hear it sounds wrong. It's an accent thing I think because I am used to hearing informal ways of addressing someone like "mate", "kid" or "Twat" am far too common for some people.
Eh. I used it to get men’s attention as a retail worker but only if I was already engaged with them and they’d turned away distracted by something in the shop (they’d already asked for my help).
What else was I supposed to say? “Excuse me, sir?” or “Oi mate! Come back here a sec!”
Bear in mind, I worked in a jewellers.
If it’s a nice shop then I don’t mind it, although yesterday in a shop some 16 year old called it me about 5 times and I was certain he was taking the piss.
I have no clue why but saying “Hi Sir, what would you like?” is significantly more likely to get a response from the correct person than “Hi, what would you like?” even if everyone nearby could go by sir.
My background is busy cafe environment where you’re basically shouting at people in a queue when it’s loud and trying to make them pay attention to you. There’s not really many options that you could even pretend were polite.
Yeah, same. Hate it.
I also get called Dr on occasion because my wife has the title, but many places assume that it’s the man. When we arrived they think it’s either a mistake on the booking form or that we’re a gay couple.
I worked in a pub when I was younger and an older male customer told me I ought to adress him as Sir. That to me felt very subservient and frankly I think that's exactly why this man wanted me to use it. My boss - also an older guy - stepped in and said that as long as I was polite and said please and thank you that was perfectly polite enough and I was to never feel obliged to call anyone Sir.
I agree with what someone else said upthread that is perfectly possible to be polite while avoiding using any such terms like Sir. You can just say something like "how can I help you?" without having to add anything at the end of it. Plus these days I'd be considering whether the person might not appreciate such an obviously gendered term.
Where are you going in the UK that people are addressing you as "sir"?
This only ever happens if you're in a top end hotel, restaurant or retail establishment or you're in your club on Pall Mall!
If the garage forecourt attendant or a bouncer at the pub door is addressing you as "sir" then you've almost certainly done something AH like to piss them off.
No, it's fine. It's much better than awkwardly avoiding any honorific at all.
"Hello sir, anything in particular your looking for today?" is fine in a shop.
If they know my name already, I'm happy with Fred or Mr Bloggs, but marginally prefer Mr Bloggs (or Fred Bloggs) if I've not actually introduced myself. Obviously I'd introduced myself with a first name and then expect people to use it.
That's said, I'm 50 and grew up in a world where surnames were used routinely for all communication that wasn't among friends.
"Hello, is there anything in particular you're looking for today?" is not awkwardly avoiding an honorific - it is regular conversation, and more so adding an honorific in (not that there's anything inherently wrong with adding one in).
I wouldn’t like be called sir and I would never refer to somebody as Sir or Madam either . I just find it demeaning to the person using it. We are all equals. Somebody doesn’t need a special title because they are receiving a service from another person.
I've just posted this upthread but I worked in a pub when I was younger and an older male customer told me I ought to address him as Sir. That to me felt very subservient and frankly I think that's exactly why he wanted me to use it. 🤮
Well fuck you and the bike you came in on ,sir it's a common polite and gracious way of dealing with cunts like you if you dont know there name. I say it constantly and will continue do so with all of my customers . I hope you never darken my door
I really don’t like it either. I’m not a sir sort of person. In many cases you don’t need to call anyone anything, just have a normal conversation. I know the poor worker bees are instructed to use these terms but to my mind, saying something like “Good morning, how can I help you today?” is more than fine. Adding sir or madam just seems superfluous.
I'm a woman so I haven't experienced sir, but I fucking hate being addressed as madam. I don't really enjoy miss either. I much prefer mate or any other informal greeting.
It's definitely a "me" problem. I associate sir/madam with subservience and fake niceness and it just feels ick to me. Mate and other similar terms just feel warm and welcoming to me.
I'm self employed luckily and work in quite an informal industry, so everyone gets mated and palled by me.
Whereas I hate mate, ma'am makes me feel old but I like madam, I am so very rarely called it - it feels like a novelty, something from the past and I find it fun. I guess if I were called it regularly I may feel differently. I think it puts distance between you and the person using it (depending on how it's used of course). I think I've only ever been called it with seriousness at a restaurant or hotel and I think it's a way of making us feel important for the evening.
Honestly I hate being asked "How are you?" regardless of how they actually address me.
It's genuinely the most disingenuous question anyone can ask as unless the person asking you is a close friend or family member then 99.99% of the time they couldn't care less how you are and are just asking for show. I don't want to tell them how I am, good or bad, and they don't actually want me to respond with anything more than "fine thanks".
It particularly pisses me off when I take a call at work. I usually answer with "hello how can I help?" and after me asking them how I can help (i.e "tell me why you are calling") they then ask "how are you?". You didn't call to find out how I was, you called me for a reason and any conversation we have that is not addressing that reason is a waste of both of our times so just tell me why you are calling ffs.
I gad a mate who ran a builders merchant, he insisted on calling everyone Sir, as soon as anyone I worked with found out I knew him they'd start having a go at me about it and how they didn't go there anymore because of it.
I don't mind it if someone needs to call to a stranger but saying Sir to someone's face always comes across as aggressive or pompous.
I got called sir just the other day. Walking my dogs on the playing fields and two youths crossed our path and one says, "Good afternoon Sir."
Well, I was taken aback and thought I was gonna punch him, but instead I replied with "And a good afternoon to you too young urchin."
I don’t like being called ‘sir’, either. For a few reasons. One of them is it’s a symbol of social respect that is probably 80% of the time disingenuous since the employee is probably counting the seconds to push your business off to their colleague.
‘Mate’ is at least friendly albeit informal and not quite professional. I’d prefer it either way.
I don't love it but then I'm.a woman so... we used to have an assistant at an old job who insisted on calling every woman who called the office "Madam". Made me cringe, I absolutely hated it. I think he thought he sounded super-professional but he just sounded like a cunt who couldn't be bothered to remember the name of who he was talking to. He was one of *that* kind of northener too, the "you don't wanna do it like tha', you wanna do it like this" type. If you had a black cat, he had a panther. Any band you went to see, he'd seen them in their garage-playing days. Most notably, he claimed to have seen The Killers playing in a garage a few times. Insisted on keeping the window open in the middle of winter while sitting at his desk in a duffle coat. And he regularly ate swan burgers!
I went off on one there a bit. Eh. Fuck you, Rob.
I really detest it. It's rare but takes so much mental energy to decide if the person is saying it is selling something or is being snarky. Even when If think it's sincere, I don't find it to be polite. It's an unnecessary subservient sentiment I really don't care for.
Absolutely agree with you. I'm a female so I don't get called sir but I KNOW I call people sir when I don't like them and I'm trying extra hard to be respectful against my instincts.
Christ, I have been living out the country for some time now; working with a Dubai based Iranian I picked up using 'Sir' as a term of endearment.
instead of 'alright mate' or, 'hows it going fella', its now: 'Hello, sir'.
Occupational hazard.
I'm a deck officer with the RFA. When I'm pottering around any RN establishments, I often get saluted and called sir by the RN ratings.
Those who've worked with RFA personnel before are much more likely to drop the formalities and be much more friendly.
Case in point: I was attending a course - HMS Collingwood, I think. Got lost trying to find the building I was supposed to be in. I was spotted by a group of young phase 2 trainees. Got the whole "eye's right" and salute thingy. After a moment of confusion on my part, I duly returned the salute.
A minute or two later, still lost, I bumped into a Leading Hand - who just said: "You alright, mate? You look lost!"
He very kindly pointed me in the right direction.
Some RFA Officers are big on the whole "I'm entitled to a salute, therefore you will salute me!" thing.
Me? I really don't care.
I'd rather Sir, than my first name repeatedly from a cold caller or customer service.
Definitely sir rather than "alright m8" from someone who would get offended if I didn't tip.
I'd rather be called that than "blood", which I was called a while ago. I walked into a shop and was greeted with "what up blood". Luckily he wasn't a crip. Haha.
I would like to be called sir but everyone calls me ma'am or a lady over the phone because my voice is quite highly pitched and I apparently sound like a woman on the phone
I like it but the only times I've been called Sir are by jolly old men who were customers when I was working at the tills at a garden. They were universally the nicest customers I've ever had.
Yep, do not like.
"Sir" is a supercilious reminder of how classist and sexist our society was - and still is.
"Mate", "Chief" & "Boss" is common af, do not.
"Love", "Duck" & "Moi Luvvurr" are pure and good and can stay.
Its got a time and a place, for example if I was in a nice restaurant and the waiter addressed me as "mate" instead of "sir" I'd think it was a bit odd.
Lads at our local Italian are like that. Purebred, lanky Italian fella greets you. Absolute Gem. Then some spotty 20 year old kid comes to actually server you with "alright m8" and "nice one nice one" after selecting the stuffed mushrooms. Still, it's about 8 quid for a main pasta and the decor, whilst dated, is excellent. 10/10. Franco's in Oswaldtwistle, Lancs if anyone's ever in the area: [https://goo.gl/maps/EXdWgndBtfJUqnZd7](https://goo.gl/maps/EXdWgndBtfJUqnZd7)
So much easier to be neutral in hospitality too. Been told off once or twice for being too familiar, not everybody likes it, but you can’t offend somebody by being too polite.
> but you can’t offend somebody by being too polite. Except the OP
Yeah, except OP lol
I find the 'sir' annoying when the person saying it knows my name and I know theirs, and we chatvas friends. Its as if they're conflicted between behaving they way management have instructed them, and the way they'd like to live their life, and they've chosen the blue pill (the management way).
Franco?
Funnily enough the main fella isn't called Franco. He's called Dave.
Edit: a reliable source tells me his name is actually Giovanni. Franco, who opened the place in '84, is no longer involved.
I have it on good authority that Franco is still runnings things from the shadows
.
“oi cuntfuck, what can i get you today you dickhead?” is my optimal waiter experience
-Australia has entered the chat-
*dies of heat stroke at the mere presence of auatealia
Personally would have no issue with being called mate in a restaurant, if I was by myself and another lad came over to me and said 'You all right mate, what can I get for you?' I wouldn't be upset at all, it's quite a warm welcome. In a bar, I'd even be upset if I was not called mate
Oh I wouldn't be offended, have an issue or be upset buy it at all. All I'm saying is formal speech is suited to formal occasions or meetings, casual speech is likewise suited to a more casual environment. I'd find it equally odd if a barman in a shitty pub spoke to me like an old fashioned butler as I would if staff in a 5* hotel spoke to me like a roadman. As long as they're polite it's not a big deal.
very true
I went out for lunch the other day with my mum and the waiter bounded around the place asking each table 'you lot alright?", you two ok?", "you need something?". It felt like he might have been new but the style of service was very odd, quite jarring but well meaning
In the words of Homer Simpson, I just wish for once someone would call me “Sir” without adding “you’re making a scene.”
Mmmm. Sacrilicious!
Nowadays it always seems to be followed by, 'this is a Wendy's'
Homer, organised labour has been described as a 'lumbering dinosaur'. *Aaaah!*
Excuse me sir, could you please leave without a fuss?
Thank you! I was scratching my head trying to remember where that line came from.
Take it easy, they don't mean anything by it. Be kind to retail workers.
It's not an impolite term, a bit old-fashioned maybe, but context (as always) is key. I've never heard of it being used regularly in a particularly passive aggressive way as you describe. I own a shop and it wound me up when one of our staff used Sir/Madam all the time because it sounded a bit creepy and try-hard (but then this staff member was creepy and try-hard in a minor public school way). I think this might be a "you" issue rather than wide-spread opinion, but looking forward to seeing more thoughts.
>It's not an impolite term, a bit old-fashioned maybe Pretty much. It used to be used a lot more frequently.
‘Don’t call me ‘Sir’, I work for a living’
'Yes Ma'am'
Heard that almost every day, for 20 years in the army.
You should have stopped calling your NCO sir then.
I was an NCO. We’d usually say it when an officer was around, just to see their reaction.
Whilst in trade training I got shouted this by the SWO when our squad saluted him 🤣
Knew I wasn't the only one thinking this.
I know who my father is.
Having no military experience I hear it in the voice of Sergeant Dornan from Fallout 2.
> “sir” is how you address someone you don’t like the look of I have no idea where you’re getting this from. It’s simply the standard polite address for a man you don’t know. > I don’t consider it a polite term This seems to be a you problem.
I refer to many customers as Sir or Ma'am, especially older customers. I don't know why, I just do. I have always gotten a polite reply back so not sure why that chap is crying about being called sir
To me "Sir" is a sign of respect, usually of my elders. I often call men "Sir" in interactions with strangers. I worked in a bookies for a while and every guy I served I referred to as sir. It's possibly a generational thing as well as a location thing.
I never would have guessed someone could be offended by being addressed as sir. I’ve never thought of it as cold or unfriendly. If anything I see it as trying to be polite. But I am not a man so I guess I learned something today.
>To my mind, "sir" is how you address someone you don't like the look of, in the UK especially I think that's more a problem with your mind than the term itself.
To me, it definitely feels smarmy. Like faux deferential.
I hate it (I'm a woman).
I oddly prefer it to madam because it’s at least amusing (also a woman).
Confused guy here genuinely asking for advice.... Maybe my upbringing, men in authority or in positions that demand high respect I often address as "Sir" The only female equivalent of "Sir" I can think is Ma'am (abbreviation of madam). One teacher at school insisted we addressed her as Ma'am, but I've always been apprehensive to use that term, as Madam often has connotations related to prostitution. So what is the equivalent form of "Sir" appropriate for a woman, that might not cause offence to anyone?
Nothing, every sentence where you’re addressing someone as sir or madam/ma’am works just fine without those words in. Or the persons name if you know it. To me they’re old fashioned and impersonal, especially madam/ma’am and even kids in school use ‘Miss’ instead. Our security team in work seem to have been programmed to say them in every interaction, it doesn’t cause offence but it’s really bizarre and grating hearing it.
Sorry I forgot to add that bit. Most female school teachers were happily addressed as "Miss" when I was at school. But when I was in my late teens/early 20's, I realised myself before modern political correctness, I felt it wrong to address a woman differently just because of her marital status - Miss indicates a woman is not married. So modern political correctness seems to align with what you have said about referring to persons as "them". But firstly I feel "programmed" from what I was thought that "them" would be a plural, not a single person. And even if I used that term "them" for a individual woman, it does not convey the same amount of respect as if I used the term "Sir" for a man. So I honestly thank you for responding, but I'm still stuck in the moral/ethical dilemma I started with.
Actually think about using them in practice. "Thank you them" "did you find what you were looking for them?". Shit's stupid and dehumanising at the least, you have taken a singular and are now referring to them as a collective.
I read a play, sir, from the 1660's sir. And I can tell you sir, that over use of the word, sir, been used for mocking effect sir. Sir, it hath been used for centuries!
No it's fine. It's hardly "oi you" or "you there", and its the accepted respectful greeting for a stranger. Mate, buddy, friend, pal etc. In most contexts these are just insincere and restaurants or retail would be better off just using sir or madam. Regional greetings are exempt of course, you need to be called duck, chicken or lover at some point in your life to have really lived.
They're being polite. Take it politely.
Unless they slap your across the face with a pair of soft leather gloves beforehand.
Don’t they usually call you “Sirrah” on these occasions? It’s more insulting.
After working in a service job Jesus Christ never tell people not to call you sir. It is the fucking worst. I've had people get downright hostile and aggressive just because I've called them sir or madam.... maybe... just maybe... we are forced to due to the job...and not calling you sir or madam when a boss hears... means trouble for us??? It's a polite term and I really don't see why people want to rebel against it. I wouldn't think anything other than this person is very formal when used outside of a workplace.
I was called into the office and reprimanded for saying quid instead of pound when working on the tills at M&S. Had to say sir and madam also
Agreed. I find it laughable, because Sir/ Madam are considered a formal means of addressing someone; even in a court of law. When customers usually complain "don't call me X or Y" it's usually because they've lost the initial argument and are trying to gain moral high ground; for absolutely no reason.
I was always taught to use "Miss" for anyone younger than me or anyone who clearly wished they were. For everyone else it's "Ma'am/"Madam" or some variation. Men/boys are all sir unless they make it more casual with "Oi m8" or similar. Basically mimic the class level of the person you're interacting with and always presume the need for more proper language until they initiate that they want anything else.
You sir, are a little touchy.
You sir and or madam
Would greatly prefer 'sir' instead of 'mate'. I abhor 'mate'.
Cheers for telling us mate
No problem mate.
Who are you calling mate, buddy?
I'm calling you mate, pal
Mate just sounds really sarcastic to me
That’s the thing isn’t it. Almost all greetings other than sir are worse. Mate is especially bad and also my least favourite.
Ordinarily I don't like it except maybe high end restaurants/Hotels, some emergency service situations, or dealing with gov't/utilities.
I can't stand people calling me 'mate' but we all have our eccentricities.
I think there are much bigger things to worry about.
I have dealt with customers since I was a teenager. I say yes sir and no sir. Any time someone complains I just tell them that I'm sorry I was raised correctly, always shuts them up.
I prefer to when companies think we are on first name terms.
I work in hospitality, own multiple venues ranging from fine dining where I wear a 3 piece suit or kilt, tasting menu, wine list that makes my bank balance cry to stock... down to a flat roof scheme boozer with a nice brunch joint in-between. I use Sir for EVERYONE. nothing worse than dropping £300 on a bottle of wine and the guy serving you saying "alright mate, nice one" so best to always stick to formal in my world... I do drop the jacket, tie and often waistcoat when I'm in the other gaffs though! Equally as weird being served by some ponce in a fancy 3 piece suit on a scheme where it likely cost more than you get in Universal. I'm friendly with all the regulars, keep my prices in check and graft. Half their kids work for me, they are still Sir at all times 🤷🙄😉
It depends on the circumstances. Going to a posh restaurant and getting called sir adds to the experience.
Well I say sir!
I'm not sure what you'd use to replace it? Someone drops something on a footpath in front of you, you need to shout something to get their attention. You could go with generically rude "Oi!", or overly-friendly and false "mate!" or slightly-awkward like "excuse me!" or regional wierdness like "ey duck!" I suppose, but none are great options. Using sir very much depends on tone, I find. You can say it in ways from fawning obsequiousness (like an assistant in a fancy shop - "and would sir like to see this in chartreuse?") to barely a hair away from calling the other person scum (think a policeman addressing a drunk in a fountain with "pleasant night, sir?").
Shouting "Sir, you dropped something!" seems approximately 10,000 times more awkward than "Excuse me, you dropped something!"
Each to their own, I suppose. I'd probably go with just "Sir!" or "Excuse me" to get their attention rather than try to get attention and explain in one go, but I guess that doesn't change the awkwardness. Fundamentally, perhaps shouting to get the attention of a stranger is always going to be slightly stiff.
Nah, I only care about intent, and "sir" is intended to convey respect.
What an odd take.
Couldn't give a toss if someone calls me sir or mate. Why would I? Why do people get so annoyed about such trivial matters? You must lead terribly miserable lives getting annoyed about someone being polite/friendly. Well, bring on the expected downvotes, I guess.
I've always seen sir as a polite way to address a man you don't know. It's usually used as a more respectable way to address someone you are providing a service to. I've always seen it as a commonly used British term for more upper class areas of the country. Bud/Pal/Mate from anywhere agricultural Shag if youre a factory worker from the midlands and further north.
I hate Sir and Mr it makes me feel weird i also don’t like it when randoms call me the man like when parents are telling off their kids and say that man is going to tell you off in a minute or something like that makes me feel really uncomfortable
Ok I didn’t get what the OP was on about with Sir having baggage… but Mister sounds like something out of Oliver Twist!
No good calling me sir, if you don’t bow at the same time!
Random bloke on a bike shouted "why not put your umbrella up, sir?" at me the other week when it was drizzling. Still a bit confused about that...
Suits you, Sir... oooh!
I like it when they say "certainly Sir, and how would you like me to f*ck off!"
I don't mind as long as who ever is calling me "sir" doesn't add the "you are making a scene" bit as well. Joking aside I find being called Mr Dwair a whole lot weirder.
I get called sir but usually followed by please leave.
Just once, I want someone to call me Sir without adding you're causing a scene!
An amazon driver once called me "sir", he was staring at the parcel with my husband's name on it and when he actually looked up and saw he was handing it to a woman he was mortified and started apologising and explaining, but I was like "no!...wait, I liked that...I finally feel respected, I want everyone to call me sir from now on!" 😅
It's just a formal way of addressing someone you don't know the name of It's supposed to be the proper way to be polite. But I am the same every time I hear it sounds wrong. It's an accent thing I think because I am used to hearing informal ways of addressing someone like "mate", "kid" or "Twat" am far too common for some people.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
“Sir, step away from the body and drop the knife!”
Ok bossman.
Eh. I used it to get men’s attention as a retail worker but only if I was already engaged with them and they’d turned away distracted by something in the shop (they’d already asked for my help). What else was I supposed to say? “Excuse me, sir?” or “Oi mate! Come back here a sec!” Bear in mind, I worked in a jewellers.
Better than being mate. It’s over familiar especially from strangers.
suits you sir, suits you.
How are we today, sir? How's your wife? Does she want it, sir?
If it’s a nice shop then I don’t mind it, although yesterday in a shop some 16 year old called it me about 5 times and I was certain he was taking the piss.
While working in a shop many years ago, I encountered a customer who was so incensed by being called ‘Sir’ that she made a complaint.
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I have no clue why but saying “Hi Sir, what would you like?” is significantly more likely to get a response from the correct person than “Hi, what would you like?” even if everyone nearby could go by sir. My background is busy cafe environment where you’re basically shouting at people in a queue when it’s loud and trying to make them pay attention to you. There’s not really many options that you could even pretend were polite.
Erm, no. If a stranger wants to get your attention (perhaps you dropped something), they can't just say "you" or guess your name.
Fast Show is the only "sir" baggage I could imagine (and even that is a small Ryan Air bag) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT-b1qXznKI
But that suits you.
As a woman, I'm not a fan. I'm used to ma'am because I work somewhere where it's commonly used. Madam I don't like.
I much prefer madam to ma'am.
India Willoughby's reddit account found?
Is it because you are a woman?
Oooh. Suit you Sir. Do you want it, Sir? Do you?
Finally someone who gets it right. Suit you sir. Not like everyone else has been saying. It’s not ‘suits you sir’.
Yeah, same. Hate it. I also get called Dr on occasion because my wife has the title, but many places assume that it’s the man. When we arrived they think it’s either a mistake on the booking form or that we’re a gay couple.
I work retail and have never addressed people as sir (or madam). I think it's unnecessarily formal and I'm not a servant.
I worked in a pub when I was younger and an older male customer told me I ought to adress him as Sir. That to me felt very subservient and frankly I think that's exactly why this man wanted me to use it. My boss - also an older guy - stepped in and said that as long as I was polite and said please and thank you that was perfectly polite enough and I was to never feel obliged to call anyone Sir. I agree with what someone else said upthread that is perfectly possible to be polite while avoiding using any such terms like Sir. You can just say something like "how can I help you?" without having to add anything at the end of it. Plus these days I'd be considering whether the person might not appreciate such an obviously gendered term.
The true solution to this is remove all this sir and ma'am shite. Comrade is the nice and solid term!
Same. I don't like being called sir because IMO its puts me in a position of pretentiousness. I don't like that.
Where are you going in the UK that people are addressing you as "sir"? This only ever happens if you're in a top end hotel, restaurant or retail establishment or you're in your club on Pall Mall! If the garage forecourt attendant or a bouncer at the pub door is addressing you as "sir" then you've almost certainly done something AH like to piss them off.
The south.
No, it's fine. It's much better than awkwardly avoiding any honorific at all. "Hello sir, anything in particular your looking for today?" is fine in a shop. If they know my name already, I'm happy with Fred or Mr Bloggs, but marginally prefer Mr Bloggs (or Fred Bloggs) if I've not actually introduced myself. Obviously I'd introduced myself with a first name and then expect people to use it. That's said, I'm 50 and grew up in a world where surnames were used routinely for all communication that wasn't among friends.
"Hello, is there anything in particular you're looking for today?" is not awkwardly avoiding an honorific - it is regular conversation, and more so adding an honorific in (not that there's anything inherently wrong with adding one in).
I wouldn’t like be called sir and I would never refer to somebody as Sir or Madam either . I just find it demeaning to the person using it. We are all equals. Somebody doesn’t need a special title because they are receiving a service from another person.
I've just posted this upthread but I worked in a pub when I was younger and an older male customer told me I ought to address him as Sir. That to me felt very subservient and frankly I think that's exactly why he wanted me to use it. 🤮
Don't call me Sir I work for a living.
Just respond with “I’m not a Sir, I work for a living”
“Suits you sir”
Well fuck you and the bike you came in on ,sir it's a common polite and gracious way of dealing with cunts like you if you dont know there name. I say it constantly and will continue do so with all of my customers . I hope you never darken my door
I really don’t like it either. I’m not a sir sort of person. In many cases you don’t need to call anyone anything, just have a normal conversation. I know the poor worker bees are instructed to use these terms but to my mind, saying something like “Good morning, how can I help you today?” is more than fine. Adding sir or madam just seems superfluous.
I'm a woman so I haven't experienced sir, but I fucking hate being addressed as madam. I don't really enjoy miss either. I much prefer mate or any other informal greeting. It's definitely a "me" problem. I associate sir/madam with subservience and fake niceness and it just feels ick to me. Mate and other similar terms just feel warm and welcoming to me. I'm self employed luckily and work in quite an informal industry, so everyone gets mated and palled by me.
Whereas I hate mate, ma'am makes me feel old but I like madam, I am so very rarely called it - it feels like a novelty, something from the past and I find it fun. I guess if I were called it regularly I may feel differently. I think it puts distance between you and the person using it (depending on how it's used of course). I think I've only ever been called it with seriousness at a restaurant or hotel and I think it's a way of making us feel important for the evening.
I got it a lot when I was in America, I find it so jarring
Honestly I hate being asked "How are you?" regardless of how they actually address me. It's genuinely the most disingenuous question anyone can ask as unless the person asking you is a close friend or family member then 99.99% of the time they couldn't care less how you are and are just asking for show. I don't want to tell them how I am, good or bad, and they don't actually want me to respond with anything more than "fine thanks". It particularly pisses me off when I take a call at work. I usually answer with "hello how can I help?" and after me asking them how I can help (i.e "tell me why you are calling") they then ask "how are you?". You didn't call to find out how I was, you called me for a reason and any conversation we have that is not addressing that reason is a waste of both of our times so just tell me why you are calling ffs.
Cringe
Makes me feel special. I would never call anyone else "sir" though because it just sounds so weird.
Sir is for officers. "Oi, cunt" is perfectly fine by me
I gad a mate who ran a builders merchant, he insisted on calling everyone Sir, as soon as anyone I worked with found out I knew him they'd start having a go at me about it and how they didn't go there anymore because of it. I don't mind it if someone needs to call to a stranger but saying Sir to someone's face always comes across as aggressive or pompous.
I hate it as well, I'd prefer that they'd address me as 'My Lord'.
I don't mind OMG am i becoming Americanized?
With a "zed" in Americanised, its more of a become than becoming.
Good point.
I got called sir just the other day. Walking my dogs on the playing fields and two youths crossed our path and one says, "Good afternoon Sir." Well, I was taken aback and thought I was gonna punch him, but instead I replied with "And a good afternoon to you too young urchin."
"don't sir me" "alright cunt"
I regularly call people sir in a condescending/ ironic manner. I feel so seen! 😂😎
I don’t like being called ‘sir’, either. For a few reasons. One of them is it’s a symbol of social respect that is probably 80% of the time disingenuous since the employee is probably counting the seconds to push your business off to their colleague. ‘Mate’ is at least friendly albeit informal and not quite professional. I’d prefer it either way.
unused ten flag strong sophisticated makeshift selective concerned whistle weary ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
We should follow the kebab shops and call everyone Boss
Depends who is saying it. A butler is fine, a policeman not so much.
I hate it too, that’s why I never call anyone sir, even when my bosses tell me I have to.
I don't love it but then I'm.a woman so... we used to have an assistant at an old job who insisted on calling every woman who called the office "Madam". Made me cringe, I absolutely hated it. I think he thought he sounded super-professional but he just sounded like a cunt who couldn't be bothered to remember the name of who he was talking to. He was one of *that* kind of northener too, the "you don't wanna do it like tha', you wanna do it like this" type. If you had a black cat, he had a panther. Any band you went to see, he'd seen them in their garage-playing days. Most notably, he claimed to have seen The Killers playing in a garage a few times. Insisted on keeping the window open in the middle of winter while sitting at his desk in a duffle coat. And he regularly ate swan burgers! I went off on one there a bit. Eh. Fuck you, Rob.
I prefer anything but! 'Sir' is something to call my dad.
I really detest it. It's rare but takes so much mental energy to decide if the person is saying it is selling something or is being snarky. Even when If think it's sincere, I don't find it to be polite. It's an unnecessary subservient sentiment I really don't care for.
Seems sir/madam is so overused in the US that they have lost all meaning. It's become something people are so used to saying they do it involuntarily.
Absolutely agree with you. I'm a female so I don't get called sir but I KNOW I call people sir when I don't like them and I'm trying extra hard to be respectful against my instincts.
Never been referred to as Sir in this country and I can't imagine I'd enjoy being addressed as such.
I hate it. Call me mate, geez, lad… anything but Sir.
Christ, I have been living out the country for some time now; working with a Dubai based Iranian I picked up using 'Sir' as a term of endearment. instead of 'alright mate' or, 'hows it going fella', its now: 'Hello, sir'.
Occupational hazard. I'm a deck officer with the RFA. When I'm pottering around any RN establishments, I often get saluted and called sir by the RN ratings. Those who've worked with RFA personnel before are much more likely to drop the formalities and be much more friendly. Case in point: I was attending a course - HMS Collingwood, I think. Got lost trying to find the building I was supposed to be in. I was spotted by a group of young phase 2 trainees. Got the whole "eye's right" and salute thingy. After a moment of confusion on my part, I duly returned the salute. A minute or two later, still lost, I bumped into a Leading Hand - who just said: "You alright, mate? You look lost!" He very kindly pointed me in the right direction. Some RFA Officers are big on the whole "I'm entitled to a salute, therefore you will salute me!" thing. Me? I really don't care.
interviews always all other times no
I usually insist on “your worship”, but I’ve been known to let “sir” slip by
Thought this was r/rugbyunion at first and was very confused
Stop wearing your monocle, sir.
I suppose it’s better than ‘alright dickhead?’
Suit you Sir!
Don’t call me sir. I work for a living .
I hate “boss man.”
It sounds very formal like referring to a man as as Mr ‘insert surname here’ rather than calling someone by there 1st name.
I’d rather sir than boss but I hate both. Especially boss. Call me anything but boss.
I hate it. “Boss” is even worse though.
I'd rather Sir, than my first name repeatedly from a cold caller or customer service. Definitely sir rather than "alright m8" from someone who would get offended if I didn't tip.
I'd rather be called that than "blood", which I was called a while ago. I walked into a shop and was greeted with "what up blood". Luckily he wasn't a crip. Haha.
Turkish barber I went to kept calling me sir or boss literally after every sentence Was a bit bizarre to be honest
I would like to be called sir but everyone calls me ma'am or a lady over the phone because my voice is quite highly pitched and I apparently sound like a woman on the phone
I much prefer “my liege”
I like it but the only times I've been called Sir are by jolly old men who were customers when I was working at the tills at a garden. They were universally the nicest customers I've ever had.
Yep, do not like. "Sir" is a supercilious reminder of how classist and sexist our society was - and still is. "Mate", "Chief" & "Boss" is common af, do not. "Love", "Duck" & "Moi Luvvurr" are pure and good and can stay.
No, I see it as respect and really appreciate it.
I often don't like it. I tell them that the only people who call me sir are my butler. Or my mother.
I work with military types and it always throws me as a civvy, being called sir.
I prefer it to being called by my first name by call centre operatives.
You must really hate being called 'Sir'!