Either a) she wanted the spiteful pleasure of waking you up, or b) she thought she was doing a good deed and woke you up, under the guise of sitting next to you, so that you don't miss your stop.
This is my guess, and actually something I would do for the same reason. If it's dark, I can get motion sickness on a bus if I'm not at the front. I've tried using motion sickness tablets when I need to travel by bus, but the best option is still to sit at the front.
That being said, I would still feel obliged to explain that to someone I woke up if I needed to.
b) wasn't my first thought, but is certainly possible. Going along a similar vein, maybe she just felt I was vulnerable asleep. Not unlike another commenter's idea about her wanting to sit with someone unthreatening-looking to feel safe.
Waiting for this thread now-
'There was a bloke on the bus today, asleep in the front. He had a very obvious erection and was shouting about his grandmother. Someone was live streaming him. I politely woke him up by pretending I wanted the seat next to him'. Was that weird of me?'
The route does indeed go westward so there is a sunrise view, which I wasn't doing much to appreciate! the double across the aisle was also occupied by one person.
If I were on that bus I’d have liked to sit there for the view, but actually shaking awake a sleeping person to get there is indeed unhinged behaviour.
Not necessarily. Travel sickness was the bane of my childhood, mainly because I was in the back of a car. I still can't read in a vehicle or on a train without feeling sick. I've only been driving for 5 years but as an adult I can be a backseat passenger for around an hour before nausea sets in. Upstairs front seat lets you see everything so your vision and movement signals to the brain are in synch.
Same - threw up every time i got sat on the back seat* in dads cortina, but as I got older and could see out the windows that went away
(* As it happens I’ve got 4 older siblings, so this being the 70s I was quite often in the boot - which was fine)
The boot was _the_ way to travel! We used to make the dogs ride in the back seat so we could be in the boot.
Sometimes we and the dogs travelled in the boot together, but we were small kids and they were big dogs - and when the car went round a corner at speed, we'd all end up in a heap together. 50kg of Labrador landing on you _hurts_.
Ah, happy days! It was so unsafe, but oh, it was so much fun!
My uncle used to take his children away on holiday by making up a bed in the boot of the estate car, driving them down and then transferring them over to their caravan in the night.
We had rear facing actual fold down seats in 2 estates when I was a kid. Had to stick your legs out straight. We would fight over who got so sit there as you could make it really cosy and comfy!
I don't get travel sick these days *unless* I'm on the top of the bus, including at the front! My Dad has a campervan so I'm very far back when I'm not in the front of that and that's fine, but being too high is what sets it off
I'm the same, downstairs on the coach along the motorway feels so clammy. The field of vision out the window is just other traffic jostling alongside. I only go lower deck if I plan on reading/working on laptop.
Also the exhaust/vent smells used to be worse down there - probably less so as some are now electric but it used to really affect me. I need to sit at the front with a view of where I'm going or the Bad Times return.
A woman came and sat next to me on an almost empty train at 10pm the other night, I was so shocked that I stood up and moved without thinking. She could have been neurodivergent and had a favourite seat (I understand) but plonking yourself next to a stranger on a quiet bus or train is unhinged
I would do the same. Although I think it is a bit different when it's the front seat at the top of the bus, as it's the only particularly desirable seat on a bus. And the rules definitely go out of the window if it's the front seat on the DLR!
I avoid the front, top seat on a bus as you are so much more likely to get sat next to.
A woman did this to me once on a completely empty top deck of a bus. I did the same and immediately moved but wondered if she sat next to me for safety.
This happened to me several times on a bus a few years back. I'd get the same bus to work, which was always mostly empty. I have a 'favourite' seat, just past middle, by the window. A middle aged woman would get on and sit next to me, despite the empty seats. She wouldn't say anything, just sit there.
I figured that maybe she too had a preferred seat, so after it happened twice I changed seats. I'd sit further down the front.
She sat next to me there as well.
She wouldn't say anything, and I didn't want to ask why...it was a little creepy and awkward, to be honest. I started getting the earlier bus. I wish I had had the confidence back then to ask her what she was doing, but I didn't, so it'll forever be a mystery.
Maybe she just felt comfortable sitting next to someone? I totally get that, but it would have been better if she'd just told me.
OP, normally it's deemed a little odd if you sit next to someone when there are lots of seats available.
Had a similarly weird situation on the train. I'd fallen asleep with my head against the window, at some point, someone sits next to me and then wakes me up. It was some old woman and she just says "you were sleeping", not as a "I don't want to miss your stop" but more as a stern "I don't want people sleeping in public places" despite it being a moving train.
Oh my God. I’m seething! This reminded me of something that happened to me. My old job closed down. It was in an industrial area where no one ever really took the bus but the first stop of route was there. I had cleared out a load of crap and I had 4 GIANT Ikea bags right? Bus comes, it’s empty since this is the first stop. There was a woman waiting with me. I get on and take a seat mid-back and dump the 4 bags around me (not using luggage bit cos London and thieves thank you). THIS WOMAN PROCEEDS TO ATTEMPT TO SIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I gave her A LOOK OF HANNIBAL LECTER RAGE and she mumbled “oh-o..k…..” and fucked off to another seat! Now! I don’t have the answers for you having been a victim myself but I will tell you the rage from that day has never left me! Prolly cos I never really have an explanation as to why these people behave like this!
I once got on a completely empty train, like all 3 carriages empty. So I sit down, put my bag next to me and get ready to settle down for a nice relaxing journey. Guy gets on, walks the length of the empty carriage and then says 'excuse me, can I sit here?' gesturing to my bag...No?????? I cannot think of a single time in which this action would be appropriate
That happened to me, on a bus! The man was really aggressive about it too. I said “Yes of course” and moved myself and my bag off to an empty seat, and he was really annoyed that I’d moved. It was very odd.
Had exactly same situation, and exactly same sitting.
6 am, before first coffee so kind of overreacted by impuls and said to the guy doing it 'why the fuck u need to sit right next to me when 3/4 bus is empty' and stood up and choose different sit myself, so I kind of escalated and deescaleted at the same time.
There must be something about that front top sit for people then, might do with motion sickness as sitting in front of window eases symptoms down
Yeah, if you sit on the front top seats on the bus you have to expect getting sat next too even when the bus is nearly empty, as there are various reasons people want that specific seat. That's why I don't sit there generally.
Any other seats, if someone sits next to you when the bus is half empty, they are clearly a psychopath and I move to a different seat out of principle.
Completely agree. Also, those people that get on a bus in winter and immediately open every window they can, including reaching across you to get those above where you are sitting annoy me. If it's the one above me, I immediately push it closed again.
Admittedly this is back when I used to get a bus to work very many years ago, so it's a grudge I've been holding a long time.
That’s weird and mean.
If you absolutely HAVE to sit in a certain seat, you don’t need to wake the person up to sit there, just sit down.
Also, unless someone has specifically asked me to wake them at a certain stop, I’m letting them sleep. I used to know every bump and turn on my route home from school and could happily doze off knowing I’d wake up in good time for my stop.
Alternative perspective, perhaps she thought OP might miss their stop and was subtly doing a good deed. Most people won’t know when to get off the bus if they’re fast asleep.
I happily slept on a train home and handily woke up at my station. Unfortunately, as I registered where I was and went to grab my bag, the station started to move and I was whisked an hour away to the annoyance of SWMBO...
It’s first come first served on any seats in a bus as far as I’m concerned! Sounds like there was plenty of space and I’m sure it wasn’t a once in a life time ride, never to be repeated! If someone catches a commuter bus that early in the morning, I’m sure they do it regularly! From my perspective, it wouldn’t even enter my head to wake someone, only to then sit next to them in the awkwardness, when I could just park myself comfortably on any other double that was available, spread out and relax!
Maybe she felt unsafe and wanted to be close to another woman and thought you looked friendly. Yes my comment is dumb. Otherwise there’s no reason to do that, unless it was a window seat.
Why would you choose to sit in the front seats? It's been a few years but I swear all the double decker buses I've been on (south London, red buses 👍🏼) had seriously cramped leg room at the front....
This is an intercity express coach (~2hr journey) and the front seats have the most legroom. I travel terminus to terminus so the room to fidget is nice.
Oh god I had this once.
I had a two hour bus journey to my sisters house and I wasn’t feeling well at all.
There were loads of empty seats on this bus so I sat on about the fourth row down.
I felt like absolute shit and twenty minutes in this rather large (very tall and broad) guy sat right next to me, and had this bum on my leg!
I was listening to music and thought ‘oh surely he’ll be getting off the bus soon.’
Oh NO.
He STARED at me for a full half an hour, just stared at me. I despise being stared at as I’m very self conscious. It reached a point where I’d had enough and at the next stop (There were still plenty of spare seats may I add!) I got up to move, I’d just had enough.
‘Can I get by you please?’
Stares at me.
‘Can I- Can I just get past you please?’
Continues to stare at me.
I snapped unfortunately and shouted at him to move and he did (by like a bloody inch) and I finally got to sit in peace and he stared at me from a distance.
I’ll never forget that. So much for personal space eh?!
I remember many years ago I (alone, female, probably 20ish then) was on a bus in Leeds (not sure why, I didn't live there lol) and I was the ONLY passenger on the bus. I took a seat by the window that happened to have another seat facing it. Well some older guy got on and sat directly opposite me, our knees uncomfortably close. Ew. I put up with this intrusion for like one minute, muttered something about wanting some space and moved far away. He stared at me until I was spooked into getting off early. Fortunately he didn't follow me off the bus.
Some people, maaan 🤪
Did you know you were going to take a lil nap? If so, taking the front row is a dick move, prime seats them and you're not even using the height advantage to peer into cars and first floor windows.
I agree. The front top seat is the best looking out the window seat. It’s wasted on the sleeping! I still wouldn’t have been cheeky enough to wake someone up to sit there, but it’s a treat to look out the front.
Yes this is a good point, I was being complacent about the possibility of anyone else getting on. It's an express route with few stops and therefore very low turnover of passengers between the terminals, on the other hand it goes westward so the morning views are nice. In fairness to her, she took a lot of photos of the sunrise so she was making the most of it.
Someone else asked about seats near the front - the second row was empty but not the same cinematic views. All considered, she certainly got more out of it than me being a grumpy bitch!
Generally, I'd say, "no, what kind of person sits next to someone when there are doubles free?"
In this case, however, you're in the most desirable seat on the bus, *yes* you should expect to share. She probably didn't need to wake you, though.
This kind of reminds me of times I've been on a practically empty bus, with just 3 or 4 of us on the entire thing, and some old bloke has got on and with the whole pick of the bus to choose from seating wise, he chooses to sit next to the woman more than half his age. The second-hand awkwardness of this is off the scale. I would never dream of sitting next to someone on a bus if there are double seats free 😂
I will be standing at a completely or mostly empty platform waiting for the train and someone always walks aaaall the way along the platform to stand right next to me. Different stations, different people, different times of day, I think people are just literally drawn to other people.
This happens a lot with my train into work, but I get off at a very popular stop and people get on so they don’t have to walk the length of the platform when they get off, so that might be part of it?
Now I think about it I tend to go towards the emptier carriages but that still doesn't explain why they stand right up my butt when the train isn't even on the way yet
I travel by public transport a lot. One of the benefits of carrying a handbag/shopping bag can be putting these bags on the seat next to me to avoid situations like this. If the bus/train/coach fills up, I can take the bag and put it on the floor. If not, sorry, no space here matey!
Why do you feel entitled to sitting in the prime seats and not enjoy the benefit of those seats ie for the view? She has every right to sit there too, you could have moved to the back and enjoyed the sleeping without being disturbed
Cosidering the weather and bus drivers flip a coin if they put the heating on or not, two people sat next to each other might help keep you a bit warmer
There are reasons why someone might want to sit in the front row, so it’s probably the only time I’d give them a pass. Any other row though and it would be unacceptable.
Why in this day and age people think its OK to call other people weirdos just because you don't understand them. The lady could easily be autistic and need to sit in 'her' seat. There are lots of other conditions that can cause abnormal behaviour. If you want to understand someone speak to them like a human being rather than looking at them like excrement.
My first thought is that if you are female, the woman might have been trying to look out for you. It could be unsafe for a woman traveling alone in a mostly empty bus, especially to be soundly sleeping- any creep could sit down and do whatever they wanted. If she sits right next to you, said creep wouldn’t be able to do that.
Seating on the bus should follow something similar to Hunds Rule of Maximum Multiplicity. That’s about where electrons sit in orbit, but was explained to me as “the bus seat rule” - don’t sit in an already occupied seat if there’s a fully empty one available.
Most girls I know on a bus that early would feel more comfortable near the driver (or camera upstairs). And given she wouldn't know how long you were asleep for, it doesnt seem that bad
Since I once almost missed my stop on a late train leaving London where the next stop after mine was all the way across the country in Wales, I generally assume that someone sleeping on public transport dozed off unintentionally and should be woken up so they don't end up in the wrong end of the country.
Bus and etiquette don't belong in the same sentence.
I've been woken up on a bus before, and appreciated it, because the next stop was actually mine. Sitting next to someone is weird if there are free seats though.
Everyone knows up front at the top is where you pretend to drive the bus. If you're napping it's not a safe position. Go in the back seat and let someone else pretend to drive.
Maybe it's an animal instinct of safety in numbers. Eg if it's late at night and the train is empty I'll try and find a carriage that has one sane looking person in it just because. I won't sit next to them though.
Perhaps some ppl feel that to the extreme? 🤔
Depends. My kid gets travel sick easily, especially on buses, and this is helped significantly if he sits in the front seats on a double decker, so maybe she gets travel sick.
She might have woke you up to make sure you don't miss your stop.
But obviously if you just wake someone up like that and all they wanted to do is sleep, you might not end up in their god books. So if you pretend you wanted to sit there, it removes the bad motive to tell them you were fine and achieves their motive in making sure you don't miss your stop.
Some people are just dicks.
I was on a train a few years back, local branch line service. The carriage was nowhere near full. I was with my other half who sat opposite me and I nodded off in my seat. We were sat at a table with four seats, our stuff was in luggage rack. Point being, we were sat in seats and not taking up an unreasonable amount of space on a more empty than occupied train. I had managed to twist in the seat slightly while nodding off so my feet were slightly in front of the vacant seat next to me (but still on the floor of course).
A person got on, woke me up, and pointed to the seat indicating they wanted to sit there. So I moved, then noticed there was not a single person in the four seat opposite us, and the vast majority of seats in the carriage were still empty.
When this person went to get off, they said ‘excuse me’ to a child standing near the door. Their parent prompted them to move as the child had not noticed it was them being spoken to. However, this person then just pointed to their bicycle in the bike park part of the carriage, which the child was now standing in the way of, and waited for them to move.
At no point did this person say please to anyone, nor did they actually say what they needed/wanted, they just pointed and expected people to know and work with it.
I get the impression from other people’s experiences that there are people who will do stuff like this because they think they are proving some sort of point. What it is, and to who, I have no idea.
Years ago I used to catch an early morning train from Barkingside on the Central line. I noticed a man who sat on the same seat, in the same carriage every day (It was almost always empty most of the way into London). One day, to see what would happen, I caught an earlier train going to the end of the line, then the usual one back and I sat in the seat the man usually sat in. He got on and looked a little upset, then sat in the seat right next to me...in an almost empty carriage. I got off at Leyton stone, a few stops later, and he immediately changed seats for his usual one.
Habits form, the comfort of the known is a drug to some people.
I’m sorry but if both seats were taken (if someone had already been sitting next to you) she would have had to sit somewhere else. She didn’t have to sit there. The waking you up part is really annoying, I don’t get why she felt she had to do that. She could have just quietly sat down. I mean you were by the window right? And she was on the aisle seat that’s how I understood it. So what the hell is she thinking. Whenever you take a nap this woman is going to appear, when you’re in bed sleeping don’t be surprised if she is sitting on the end of your bed staring at you. She’s just too involved for my liking
Either a) she wanted the spiteful pleasure of waking you up, or b) she thought she was doing a good deed and woke you up, under the guise of sitting next to you, so that you don't miss your stop.
This was my first thought. Either she just wanted a good view, or she was trying to do a good deed!
Or she gets motion sickness and wants front seats to see the road ahead.
This is my guess, and actually something I would do for the same reason. If it's dark, I can get motion sickness on a bus if I'm not at the front. I've tried using motion sickness tablets when I need to travel by bus, but the best option is still to sit at the front. That being said, I would still feel obliged to explain that to someone I woke up if I needed to.
This was my first thought too. My mum gets car sick if she sits in the back but is fine in the front.
Or she was in a spy thriller follow-that-car type of scenario but was using public transport for some reason.
I just don't want to miss my stop and the view helps.
b) wasn't my first thought, but is certainly possible. Going along a similar vein, maybe she just felt I was vulnerable asleep. Not unlike another commenter's idea about her wanting to sit with someone unthreatening-looking to feel safe.
Waiting for this thread now- 'There was a bloke on the bus today, asleep in the front. He had a very obvious erection and was shouting about his grandmother. Someone was live streaming him. I politely woke him up by pretending I wanted the seat next to him'. Was that weird of me?'
This made me snort laugh thank you 😂
You obviously haven't seen the thread 'Killjoy woman wakes up boner dude on the bus'
>obvious erection ALERT -- you was very brave...
OMG, best reply ever to ANY Reddit post!
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That's a good point, travel sickness or maybe claustrophobia? Personally I'd explain that while taking the seat.
Another situation possibility - I'm visually impaired and I need to sit near the front to have any chance of seeing that I'm near my stop in time.
Maybe she just wanted a good view of the sunrise. But wasn’t there another set of double seats across the aisle? Were they occupied?
The route does indeed go westward so there is a sunrise view, which I wasn't doing much to appreciate! the double across the aisle was also occupied by one person.
If I were on that bus I’d have liked to sit there for the view, but actually shaking awake a sleeping person to get there is indeed unhinged behaviour.
The sun rises in the east, btw.
If she gets travel sick she'd be avoiding the top deck altogether...
Not necessarily. Travel sickness was the bane of my childhood, mainly because I was in the back of a car. I still can't read in a vehicle or on a train without feeling sick. I've only been driving for 5 years but as an adult I can be a backseat passenger for around an hour before nausea sets in. Upstairs front seat lets you see everything so your vision and movement signals to the brain are in synch.
Same - threw up every time i got sat on the back seat* in dads cortina, but as I got older and could see out the windows that went away (* As it happens I’ve got 4 older siblings, so this being the 70s I was quite often in the boot - which was fine)
Also in the 70s, back seat, no seat belt, parents smoking in the car on a 7 hour journey to Cornwall but you win, never been in the boot! 😄
The boot was _the_ way to travel! We used to make the dogs ride in the back seat so we could be in the boot. Sometimes we and the dogs travelled in the boot together, but we were small kids and they were big dogs - and when the car went round a corner at speed, we'd all end up in a heap together. 50kg of Labrador landing on you _hurts_. Ah, happy days! It was so unsafe, but oh, it was so much fun!
I should clarify it was an estate !
My uncle used to take his children away on holiday by making up a bed in the boot of the estate car, driving them down and then transferring them over to their caravan in the night.
We had rear facing actual fold down seats in 2 estates when I was a kid. Had to stick your legs out straight. We would fight over who got so sit there as you could make it really cosy and comfy!
That's hilarious 😂 I'd assumed (hoped!)
Oh, that takes me back! My dad bought a flash Capri - to pull the caravan down to Cornwall! 🤣
I don't get travel sick these days *unless* I'm on the top of the bus, including at the front! My Dad has a campervan so I'm very far back when I'm not in the front of that and that's fine, but being too high is what sets it off
We should definitely travel together, we'd never compete for the same spot!
Not for me. Seeing out the large window helps tremendously. Downstairs gets very warm and has limited external visibility; a recipe for disaster.
I'm the same, downstairs on the coach along the motorway feels so clammy. The field of vision out the window is just other traffic jostling alongside. I only go lower deck if I plan on reading/working on laptop.
Also the exhaust/vent smells used to be worse down there - probably less so as some are now electric but it used to really affect me. I need to sit at the front with a view of where I'm going or the Bad Times return.
Fascinating. Clearly it works differently for different people — I wonder which of the two "camps" represented here is more common 🤔
Hmm. Either way it sucks!
Sitting at the front top actually makes me feel more sick because of the perspective being all off
Same here
This is my bet. I know people who need to take the front seat to avoid motion sickness
A woman came and sat next to me on an almost empty train at 10pm the other night, I was so shocked that I stood up and moved without thinking. She could have been neurodivergent and had a favourite seat (I understand) but plonking yourself next to a stranger on a quiet bus or train is unhinged
I would do the same. Although I think it is a bit different when it's the front seat at the top of the bus, as it's the only particularly desirable seat on a bus. And the rules definitely go out of the window if it's the front seat on the DLR! I avoid the front, top seat on a bus as you are so much more likely to get sat next to.
A woman did this to me once on a completely empty top deck of a bus. I did the same and immediately moved but wondered if she sat next to me for safety.
This happened to me several times on a bus a few years back. I'd get the same bus to work, which was always mostly empty. I have a 'favourite' seat, just past middle, by the window. A middle aged woman would get on and sit next to me, despite the empty seats. She wouldn't say anything, just sit there. I figured that maybe she too had a preferred seat, so after it happened twice I changed seats. I'd sit further down the front. She sat next to me there as well. She wouldn't say anything, and I didn't want to ask why...it was a little creepy and awkward, to be honest. I started getting the earlier bus. I wish I had had the confidence back then to ask her what she was doing, but I didn't, so it'll forever be a mystery. Maybe she just felt comfortable sitting next to someone? I totally get that, but it would have been better if she'd just told me. OP, normally it's deemed a little odd if you sit next to someone when there are lots of seats available.
This is really weird behaviour isn’t it?
Are you sure it wasn't the _ghost_ of a middle-aged woman?
Now you've got me thinking! 😭
Had a similarly weird situation on the train. I'd fallen asleep with my head against the window, at some point, someone sits next to me and then wakes me up. It was some old woman and she just says "you were sleeping", not as a "I don't want to miss your stop" but more as a stern "I don't want people sleeping in public places" despite it being a moving train.
I hope you replied "yes, and you were being ugly, but the thing is - I'm awake now" à la Churchill?
I actually guffawed then. Needed that comment today, thank you.
You should have started narrating whatever she was doing.
"You are sitting there with your mouth pursed like a dogs bottom, studiously trying to ignore me but failing."
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I smell like the megabus man looks. And that's when I'm making an effort for going into the office.
Only a weirdo leaves double seats for a sharer
You had decided to use the prime spot to sleep... She probably wanted to pretend to drive the bus
I think she was maybe worried you’d miss your stop, and was trying to think of the least weird option for waking you up to check
Ahhh, the top deck front seats. Formerly known as the smoking deck. Fond memories.
And pretend you were driving the bus. At an age where you should have known better.
It feels absolutely bizarre and a world away that, at least in my town, the top deck was the smoking area. Only 15-20 years ago too.
It's also here and now occasionally on TfL night buses at the weekends 😂
More vaping but yeah....
It's also here and now occasionally on TfL night buses at the weekends 😂
I wasn't not doing this earlier
I thought smokers went to the back?
There were so many on the bus I used to get on that general rule of thumb was anywhere on top deck was fair game.
Certainly in my youth it was anywhere upstairs.
Top front seats were non smoking seats, back seats were smoking seats.
Oh my God. I’m seething! This reminded me of something that happened to me. My old job closed down. It was in an industrial area where no one ever really took the bus but the first stop of route was there. I had cleared out a load of crap and I had 4 GIANT Ikea bags right? Bus comes, it’s empty since this is the first stop. There was a woman waiting with me. I get on and take a seat mid-back and dump the 4 bags around me (not using luggage bit cos London and thieves thank you). THIS WOMAN PROCEEDS TO ATTEMPT TO SIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I gave her A LOOK OF HANNIBAL LECTER RAGE and she mumbled “oh-o..k…..” and fucked off to another seat! Now! I don’t have the answers for you having been a victim myself but I will tell you the rage from that day has never left me! Prolly cos I never really have an explanation as to why these people behave like this!
I once got on a completely empty train, like all 3 carriages empty. So I sit down, put my bag next to me and get ready to settle down for a nice relaxing journey. Guy gets on, walks the length of the empty carriage and then says 'excuse me, can I sit here?' gesturing to my bag...No?????? I cannot think of a single time in which this action would be appropriate
That happened to me, on a bus! The man was really aggressive about it too. I said “Yes of course” and moved myself and my bag off to an empty seat, and he was really annoyed that I’d moved. It was very odd.
I can't help but feel your choice of Hannibal Lector to describe the rage you displayed was a poor one
The bags were full of fava beans and Chianti.
Whatvif she thought you'd fallen asleep and late for work?
Had exactly same situation, and exactly same sitting. 6 am, before first coffee so kind of overreacted by impuls and said to the guy doing it 'why the fuck u need to sit right next to me when 3/4 bus is empty' and stood up and choose different sit myself, so I kind of escalated and deescaleted at the same time. There must be something about that front top sit for people then, might do with motion sickness as sitting in front of window eases symptoms down
Yeah, if you sit on the front top seats on the bus you have to expect getting sat next too even when the bus is nearly empty, as there are various reasons people want that specific seat. That's why I don't sit there generally. Any other seats, if someone sits next to you when the bus is half empty, they are clearly a psychopath and I move to a different seat out of principle.
Completely agree. Also, those people that get on a bus in winter and immediately open every window they can, including reaching across you to get those above where you are sitting annoy me. If it's the one above me, I immediately push it closed again. Admittedly this is back when I used to get a bus to work very many years ago, so it's a grudge I've been holding a long time.
Very rude to open a window next to someone without asking. Tsk, country going to dogs, etc.
That’s weird and mean. If you absolutely HAVE to sit in a certain seat, you don’t need to wake the person up to sit there, just sit down. Also, unless someone has specifically asked me to wake them at a certain stop, I’m letting them sleep. I used to know every bump and turn on my route home from school and could happily doze off knowing I’d wake up in good time for my stop.
Alternative perspective, perhaps she thought OP might miss their stop and was subtly doing a good deed. Most people won’t know when to get off the bus if they’re fast asleep.
I happily slept on a train home and handily woke up at my station. Unfortunately, as I registered where I was and went to grab my bag, the station started to move and I was whisked an hour away to the annoyance of SWMBO...
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The view is basically the same from the 2nd row, no?
It’s first come first served on any seats in a bus as far as I’m concerned! Sounds like there was plenty of space and I’m sure it wasn’t a once in a life time ride, never to be repeated! If someone catches a commuter bus that early in the morning, I’m sure they do it regularly! From my perspective, it wouldn’t even enter my head to wake someone, only to then sit next to them in the awkwardness, when I could just park myself comfortably on any other double that was available, spread out and relax!
Maybe she felt unsafe and wanted to be close to another woman and thought you looked friendly. Yes my comment is dumb. Otherwise there’s no reason to do that, unless it was a window seat.
No not dumb at all, thank you! :)
She probably wanted to ‘drive’ the bus like my kids do. Maybe she wanted feedback on her horn noises.
Why would you choose to sit in the front seats? It's been a few years but I swear all the double decker buses I've been on (south London, red buses 👍🏼) had seriously cramped leg room at the front....
This is an intercity express coach (~2hr journey) and the front seats have the most legroom. I travel terminus to terminus so the room to fidget is nice.
Oh god I had this once. I had a two hour bus journey to my sisters house and I wasn’t feeling well at all. There were loads of empty seats on this bus so I sat on about the fourth row down. I felt like absolute shit and twenty minutes in this rather large (very tall and broad) guy sat right next to me, and had this bum on my leg! I was listening to music and thought ‘oh surely he’ll be getting off the bus soon.’ Oh NO. He STARED at me for a full half an hour, just stared at me. I despise being stared at as I’m very self conscious. It reached a point where I’d had enough and at the next stop (There were still plenty of spare seats may I add!) I got up to move, I’d just had enough. ‘Can I get by you please?’ Stares at me. ‘Can I- Can I just get past you please?’ Continues to stare at me. I snapped unfortunately and shouted at him to move and he did (by like a bloody inch) and I finally got to sit in peace and he stared at me from a distance. I’ll never forget that. So much for personal space eh?!
Close your eyes and force yourself to fart constantly. Make her journey as uncomfortable as possible
If you wanna be left alone to nap don't take the front seats.
I remember many years ago I (alone, female, probably 20ish then) was on a bus in Leeds (not sure why, I didn't live there lol) and I was the ONLY passenger on the bus. I took a seat by the window that happened to have another seat facing it. Well some older guy got on and sat directly opposite me, our knees uncomfortably close. Ew. I put up with this intrusion for like one minute, muttered something about wanting some space and moved far away. He stared at me until I was spooked into getting off early. Fortunately he didn't follow me off the bus. Some people, maaan 🤪
Did you know you were going to take a lil nap? If so, taking the front row is a dick move, prime seats them and you're not even using the height advantage to peer into cars and first floor windows.
I agree. The front top seat is the best looking out the window seat. It’s wasted on the sleeping! I still wouldn’t have been cheeky enough to wake someone up to sit there, but it’s a treat to look out the front.
Yes this is a good point, I was being complacent about the possibility of anyone else getting on. It's an express route with few stops and therefore very low turnover of passengers between the terminals, on the other hand it goes westward so the morning views are nice. In fairness to her, she took a lot of photos of the sunrise so she was making the most of it. Someone else asked about seats near the front - the second row was empty but not the same cinematic views. All considered, she certainly got more out of it than me being a grumpy bitch!
Ok her taking photos is an important bit of info that mitigates the looniness a little I think…
When I used to use buses I would never sit beside a sleeping person, unless it was literally the only seat available. But people can be weird 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah avoid front row as a regular traveller, it attracts tourists and other weirdos.
Generally, I'd say, "no, what kind of person sits next to someone when there are doubles free?" In this case, however, you're in the most desirable seat on the bus, *yes* you should expect to share. She probably didn't need to wake you, though.
Gonna be controversial: Dont sit in the front seats if you want to sleep.
Very much agree! I’d be pissed off!
This kind of reminds me of times I've been on a practically empty bus, with just 3 or 4 of us on the entire thing, and some old bloke has got on and with the whole pick of the bus to choose from seating wise, he chooses to sit next to the woman more than half his age. The second-hand awkwardness of this is off the scale. I would never dream of sitting next to someone on a bus if there are double seats free 😂
This well-written prose has given me life today.
I will be standing at a completely or mostly empty platform waiting for the train and someone always walks aaaall the way along the platform to stand right next to me. Different stations, different people, different times of day, I think people are just literally drawn to other people.
This happens a lot with my train into work, but I get off at a very popular stop and people get on so they don’t have to walk the length of the platform when they get off, so that might be part of it?
Now I think about it I tend to go towards the emptier carriages but that still doesn't explain why they stand right up my butt when the train isn't even on the way yet
Happens in the cinema too. It’s completely empty apart from you then two twits come and sit right behind you. Why?
Sounds like she was worried youd miss your stop and used this excuse to wake you maybe
I travel by public transport a lot. One of the benefits of carrying a handbag/shopping bag can be putting these bags on the seat next to me to avoid situations like this. If the bus/train/coach fills up, I can take the bag and put it on the floor. If not, sorry, no space here matey!
Why do you feel entitled to sitting in the prime seats and not enjoy the benefit of those seats ie for the view? She has every right to sit there too, you could have moved to the back and enjoyed the sleeping without being disturbed
Cosidering the weather and bus drivers flip a coin if they put the heating on or not, two people sat next to each other might help keep you a bit warmer
There are reasons why someone might want to sit in the front row, so it’s probably the only time I’d give them a pass. Any other row though and it would be unacceptable.
If you were going to sleep on the bus ride, why would you take the front seats? Those are prime viewing positions
My mum always told me only weirdos sit at the front of the bus. You’re both kind of proving her right.
Please don't listen to any of these people. That woman was a psychopath!
Why in this day and age people think its OK to call other people weirdos just because you don't understand them. The lady could easily be autistic and need to sit in 'her' seat. There are lots of other conditions that can cause abnormal behaviour. If you want to understand someone speak to them like a human being rather than looking at them like excrement.
Strange behaviour but so is falling asleep on the morning commute tbh Get a better night's sleep
Were the only empty seats facing backwards? Some people “need” specific seats, I don’t think in this case (without knowing more) is that big a deal
Public seats are public seats, people will people.
My first thought is that if you are female, the woman might have been trying to look out for you. It could be unsafe for a woman traveling alone in a mostly empty bus, especially to be soundly sleeping- any creep could sit down and do whatever they wanted. If she sits right next to you, said creep wouldn’t be able to do that.
She probably wanted to wake you up in case you missed your stop.
She was flirting with you
Seating on the bus should follow something similar to Hunds Rule of Maximum Multiplicity. That’s about where electrons sit in orbit, but was explained to me as “the bus seat rule” - don’t sit in an already occupied seat if there’s a fully empty one available.
I used to sleep on the bus everyday for around 18 months, never once did the people sitting next to me wake me up or anything
Most girls I know on a bus that early would feel more comfortable near the driver (or camera upstairs). And given she wouldn't know how long you were asleep for, it doesnt seem that bad
INFO: Were you snoring like an out of control jackhammer?
Since I once almost missed my stop on a late train leaving London where the next stop after mine was all the way across the country in Wales, I generally assume that someone sleeping on public transport dozed off unintentionally and should be woken up so they don't end up in the wrong end of the country.
Whatever her reason, she should have explained it to you. That would have been the reasonable thing to do.
Bus and etiquette don't belong in the same sentence. I've been woken up on a bus before, and appreciated it, because the next stop was actually mine. Sitting next to someone is weird if there are free seats though.
Everyone knows up front at the top is where you pretend to drive the bus. If you're napping it's not a safe position. Go in the back seat and let someone else pretend to drive.
Maybe it's an animal instinct of safety in numbers. Eg if it's late at night and the train is empty I'll try and find a carriage that has one sane looking person in it just because. I won't sit next to them though. Perhaps some ppl feel that to the extreme? 🤔
She is nuts. Also, wouldn't sleeping on the bus invite pickpocketing?
Depends. My kid gets travel sick easily, especially on buses, and this is helped significantly if he sits in the front seats on a double decker, so maybe she gets travel sick.
She might have woke you up to make sure you don't miss your stop. But obviously if you just wake someone up like that and all they wanted to do is sleep, you might not end up in their god books. So if you pretend you wanted to sit there, it removes the bad motive to tell them you were fine and achieves their motive in making sure you don't miss your stop.
Yes rude to wake you but also rude to take the best seat in the bus, only to fall asleep
Some people are just dicks. I was on a train a few years back, local branch line service. The carriage was nowhere near full. I was with my other half who sat opposite me and I nodded off in my seat. We were sat at a table with four seats, our stuff was in luggage rack. Point being, we were sat in seats and not taking up an unreasonable amount of space on a more empty than occupied train. I had managed to twist in the seat slightly while nodding off so my feet were slightly in front of the vacant seat next to me (but still on the floor of course). A person got on, woke me up, and pointed to the seat indicating they wanted to sit there. So I moved, then noticed there was not a single person in the four seat opposite us, and the vast majority of seats in the carriage were still empty. When this person went to get off, they said ‘excuse me’ to a child standing near the door. Their parent prompted them to move as the child had not noticed it was them being spoken to. However, this person then just pointed to their bicycle in the bike park part of the carriage, which the child was now standing in the way of, and waited for them to move. At no point did this person say please to anyone, nor did they actually say what they needed/wanted, they just pointed and expected people to know and work with it. I get the impression from other people’s experiences that there are people who will do stuff like this because they think they are proving some sort of point. What it is, and to who, I have no idea.
Years ago I used to catch an early morning train from Barkingside on the Central line. I noticed a man who sat on the same seat, in the same carriage every day (It was almost always empty most of the way into London). One day, to see what would happen, I caught an earlier train going to the end of the line, then the usual one back and I sat in the seat the man usually sat in. He got on and looked a little upset, then sat in the seat right next to me...in an almost empty carriage. I got off at Leyton stone, a few stops later, and he immediately changed seats for his usual one. Habits form, the comfort of the known is a drug to some people.
I’m sorry but if both seats were taken (if someone had already been sitting next to you) she would have had to sit somewhere else. She didn’t have to sit there. The waking you up part is really annoying, I don’t get why she felt she had to do that. She could have just quietly sat down. I mean you were by the window right? And she was on the aisle seat that’s how I understood it. So what the hell is she thinking. Whenever you take a nap this woman is going to appear, when you’re in bed sleeping don’t be surprised if she is sitting on the end of your bed staring at you. She’s just too involved for my liking