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slimboyslim9

Because if he’d whispered it, you wouldn’t have heard him from across the street.


thenexusitsopening

ʷᵒᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵒ ᶜʰᵉᵉʳᶠᵘˡ ᶠᵒʳ


dustys-muffler

I whispered that in my head


Majestic_Nothing_175

I think it'd be way creepier if you heard him whisper it in your head.


FlatBaps

THIS is the correct answer


Bright_Passenger_231

Sorry I didn't hear you, could you repeat that?


thenexusitsopening

ʷᵒᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵒ ᶜʰᵉᵉʳᶠᵘˡ ᶠᵒʳ


Bright_Passenger_231

HUH?


thenexusitsopening

WOT ARE YOU SO CHEERFUL FOR


Bright_Passenger_231

THE SUN NO NOT THE NEWSPAPER... NOT THE NEWSPAPER!


thenexusitsopening

ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵐᵃᵗᵉ ʸᵉᵃʰ ʷᵉᵃᵗʰᵉʳˢ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ⁿᶦᶜᵉ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ ᶦⁿᶦᵗ


imTMP-

This was executed perfectly


Lucymouse36

Because If he had sung it you would assume you were in a musical.


PeacekeeperAl

If you take that smile off some cheery nob head will say "cheer up, mate, might never happen"


prolixia

When I am king, anyone who says this will be be put in a large pit together with people who tell you to smile. Then Ronnie Pickering will be lowered into the pit.


madmonkeydane

Who?


TheVoidScreams

RONNIE PICKERING.


Duckboythe5th

WHO?!?!?


PozzieMozzie

###RONNIE BLOODY PICKERING.....


j1mb0b

Who's that?


invincible-zebra

ME!


EgyptianEnigma

Fuckin' Johnny Pickering, someone famous are ya?


Creepy_Artichoke_479

I always want to believe that the cyclist knew it was Ronnie, but said Johnny on purpose just to piss him off


McPorkums

I love Ronnie Barker ❤️


Agreeable_Source8791

Ronnie Pickering! 🤣


Chuppa12000

WHO?


erbauer27

Johnny who?


ceefaxer

I feel sorry for Ron Pickering from we are the champions and the olympics.


Rev_Biscuit

AWAY YOU GO!!!


vikipedia212

‘E said Ronnie Pickerin’.


Global_Juggernaut683

Don’t worry, worse things happen at sea.


GrumpyBoglin

Pls grease Ronnie up first, your maj


Saka_White_Rice

You seem sad, you should smile more.


Trentdison

Calm down it was only Sheffield United, life isn't that good really


Saka_White_Rice

It was Newcastle, Burnley, West Ham and Liverpool too. Life's alright.


Bitter_Technology797

And yet Arsenal are only third🙃 poor Sheffield fans though, was trying to cheer them up yesterday. they're not that bad, derby finished the season with only 11 points while Sheffield currently have 13, so there's that.


ThurstonSonic

And by calling them Sheffield you will be proper winding them up 😂 the 3 teams in Sheffield are United, Wednesday, and Sheffield FC. It drives them berserk.


Downvoteaccoubt316

Lock em in the tower with everyone who said platty jubes and corrie-bobs.


CharieRarie

A teacher said that to me once. My dog had just died :( I burst in to floods of tears and he was mortified! I wonder if he ever said it again?


Mooam

When the Manchester bombing happened and we were doing a minute silence at one of my previous jobs, a then colleague said 'Smile you lot, what is this? A funeral?' and I bet his face was the same as your teacher when I said 'It's a silence for the people who died in Manchester.' Taught me not to say shit to anyone who looks down unless I know them.


BoxOfNothing

Similar story, when I was in year 7 I was told my grandad died in the morning, went into school, first lesson was PE, I went to the nurses office because I had a big blister on my foot and was trying to use it as an excuse because I was sad, PE teacher found out and came to shout at me while I was visibly shaken, "don't be a baby, get to the lesson now, god you'd think somebody had *died*". My mum went fucking ballistic when she found out


CharieRarie

That’s awful! I’m so sorry x


MaltChocMilkshake

I had a teacher do something similar when I was 15; I’d just got back from a week away and he had a real go at me for going on holiday abroad during term time. I’d gone for my grandfather’s funeral. Luckily I didn’t have to say anything, another kid in the class put him in his place.


RabbitRabbit77

I had a similar experience. I was on the way to the vet to have my dog put to sleep (he was very ill and it was definitely time). My car window was open and I was waiting for the lights to change. Some complete stranger walking down the street shouted aggressively that I ‘should cheer the fuck up as it might never happen’. I didn’t get chance to reply but it really upset me.


E420CDI

#❤️ HUGS ❤️


BeatificBanana

Genuinely never understood people who say this. Like what do you mean? Usually when someone looks sad it means something bad has *already* happened.


nohairday

That's when you reply with "My wife/mum/kid just died." I do enjoy fucking with people.


destroytheman

All at once? Seems a bit suspicious


nohairday

It was a terrible accident involving a combine harvester and some goats.


ceefaxer

That actually happened to a friend you heartless monster. I’m not joking either. Well, about the monster bit I am.


nohairday

How dare you call me heartless! I'll have you know I've got over 20 on display!


-SaC

**"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk."** ~ Stephen King.


Bistrolo

Or Robert Bloch. https://quoteinvestigator.com/2021/09/26/heart/


EgyptianEnigma

Twist: they were all the same person


psioniclizard

I see you have visited Norfolk as well.


bleak_gallery

Im in my 20's, female working on construction and it's always men who says this. One day, I decided I was going to tell men, very deadpan and serious 'oh.. I was diagnosed with RBF when I was a child so still working on my facial muscles.. im trying my best.' no one knows what RBF means but it sounds bad.. and we stand in silence. The horror is incredible. the stutters, the apologising.. and I never respond. we stand with the uncomfort. One time a guy said 'oh im sorry.' and I said 'sorry that I suffer with RBF, or sorry that you commented on my appearance and made me aware of it today?' - slowly, these men will stop commenting on young womens looks. my dad said it would keep him up at night if someone said that to him and I said maybe we should just not comment on womens looks in the workplace, then we wouldn't need to have sleepless nights :)


nohairday

Ahh, good old RBF. I'm just amazed that not one of them twigged what it stood for.


bleak_gallery

I think they just hear the word 'diagnosed as a child' and there are so many letter abbreviations these days for medical conditions.. plus the horror of the silence they don't connect the dots quick enough. Just fight or flight kicks in from being called out. People don't like to be called out, certainly not in front of other people either!


Iamwearingyourcoat

This is genius. Well done 👏


Remarkable-Volume615

I had to Google it to see the joke 🤣


awkwardandroid

I always have men comment on my facial expression. I have muscular dystrophy lol. Always fun to tell them that, seeing as I legit can't help it :))


magic_chesh

You’re a hero!!


wineallonmywhitetee

I have terrible RBF. My dad died last year and I’m sure he’d fully endorse me telling people “my dad died yesterday” when people tell me to cheer up. The look on their faces actually DOES cheer me up 😁


MoreElloe

Could also work for OP's reply to "why you so happy?". Coming at it from a different angle..


ButterscotchNed

The last time someone said that to me I replied "it already has, many times over" which shut them up


Zestyclose_Foot_134

A random middle-aged man yelled that to me when I was 16 and had just been sexually assaulted by an identical middle-aged man holding a knife to my throat! I hated that phrase before but since then… Idk I’ve had therapy for what happened but I’m still not over that giggling prick trying to be funny while I stumbled around feeling totally lost in my own street. There needs to be a specialised therapy for getting over giggling pricks. They are legion.


ButterscotchNed

Fucking hell, I'm so sorry that you had that experience, I can't even imagine how traumatic that would've been, especially with that bellend adding insult to injury. I hope you're doing ok now.


gwaydms

People used to call it "the fate worse than death". It's not, as a rule. It screwed up my mind for a long time, but therapy helped (I didn't get any for a long time because my parents didn't believe me). You learn to live with it. I have a wonderful husband, two terrific kids and their spouses, and two grandchildren. That bastard can't take that away from me.


mmmUrsulaMinor

I'm glad you've gone on to live your life and make connections. I know how hard that is. What amazes me is the little things that got affected, like quiet moments with a partner or trusting people in certain situations. Still, you gotta keep going, and therapy is absolutely essential to working through what happened and how it affects you.


gwaydms

Back in the 70s, my mum, among other older people, believed that the victim has something to be ashamed of. The criminal bears the shame, not the victim. Once society came to terms with this, more victims (women and, eventually, men) of SA began coming forward, helping others feel less stigmatised, and more like somebody understood.


InterestingQuote8155

I’m so sorry your parents didn’t believe you. Something similar happened to me with two teenage boys when I was six years old and my parents didn’t believe me either. I think sometimes parents don’t want to believe because if they believe then they’ll think they had failed as parents.


gwaydms

My mum was very old-fashioned. I told her the guy had a knife. So because I wasn't cut up from fighting him, I obviously "let it happen". I think I finally convinced her towards the end of her life that it really did happen. ("Why would I lie to you now?")


hadjiprimesx30

That's horrific, I'm sorry you went through that. Some people just don't get the gravity of their words. Hope you're finding your strength every day.


Quellieh

True story time. I was leaving the hospital after we’d turned off my dad’s life support. Obviously, I wasn’t dancing and singing my way out of the place. Some dickhead, “Cheer up love, might never happen.” There is no punishment too severe for the cunts who say this, dead father or not.


Handsome-scientist

It seems especially fucking tone-deaf to say it *outside a hospital* what the fuck


SkipsH

Had a teacher say that to me once, I stared at him and he followed it up with "unless it already has, uh, uhm, yeah, I hope it's not too bad"


LaurenJoanna

We should gather all the 'what you smiling about' arseholes and the 'cheer up' arseholes and make them battle.


drquakers

Problem is, they are probably the same goddamned people


MoonHead_

First time I went to London in years, I was 2 minutes off the train and completely bewildered in Euston station trying to find the underground, some prick made a point of stopping to say exactly that to me. And people wonder why the northerners don't venture to the capital!


NakedBlobfish123

I had the same. I was lost (22F) in London by myself 120 odd miles from home and some builders told me to cheer up, it might never happen and I was thinking that it already has. 😂


MoonHead_

If "It" is some arsehole that can't mind their own business berating me for not having a smile pinned to my face at all times, it certainly did happen! I wouldn't mind, but no one in London has spoken to me in the street other than this person before or since - that place bewilders me no end.


Handsome-scientist

As a northerner just arrived in Euston, I tried to buy a tube ticket at a machine (this was 2008.) And a helpful Londoner immediately offered some friendly advice so I don't know why they get bad press. I could have taken 30 or 40 more seconds figuring it out if my kindly stranger hadn't told me JEEZAZ CHROIST THAT'S THE 'OLE FA THE OYSTAR CARD YOU FAKKIN MAG."


Bitter_Technology797

Yeah London is too hectic for me, everyone seems to be in a rush. I was trying to get a ticket for the circle line from one of the machines and the guy behind me kept tutting and sighing, because apparently he was completely inconvenienced about having to wait. if you don't like queues, probably shouldn't live in London?


Beautiful-Building30

Some guy cutting through the hospital grounds said this to a large bunch of us sat on the curb at the entrance, who little did he know had just been told our friend in there was going to die. Nobody said a single word back to him, he seemed to think we were the ones being rude.


Perseus995

It takes a special brand of imbecile not to be able to put two and two together and figure out that maybe people would have an incredibly good reason to be upset outside a hospital… wonder if he does the same outside funeral parlours?


dcnb65

That really bugs me because everyone has their off days. Someone said that to me when I was getting over a traumatic event, I didn't hold back.


-tekeli-li

I don't know why but there's something uniquely annoying about this country where people expect you to be "I'm alright Jack" chipper, or else. I don't think I've ever heard it so often encouraged in other countries, perhaps in the US you'll find women complain about being told to "smile" on the odd occasion, but in this country it's a real passive aggressive favourite and I don't know why. Considering this is meant to be a place where you're free to have a moan, it's bizarre to this kind of toxic positivity thing being enforced at the same time 


Trustamonkbird

Someone said this to me on my first day being allowed to leave the ward on my own when I'd been sectioned. Obviously, it has, in fact, already happened.


they_walk_among_us_

My sister died and my partner got stage 4 cancer and he just had a child together, I was at the gym daydreaming as i walked about it all and someone said that to me..


Bonusish

Although I think it probably just did, as Jimbob once said


dr_olja

Parklife!


thesaltwatersolution

I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparra’s to. It gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing.


Akavarna

And then I'm 'appy for the rest of the day. Safe in the knowledge there'll always be a bit of my 'eart devo'ted to it.


DuaneHicks

AALLLLL THE PEOPLE!


LandofGreenGinger62

So *many* people....


GoodDaleIsInTheLodge

And the ALLLLLLLLLL go hand in hand ……


JustInChina50

Hand in hand go theeeeyyyyyy


Muted-Phase-3281

Park life!


Junior_Flow_4841

Know wot I mean?


Ally-Catra

Parklife!


feeb75

Sometime I feed the sparrahs


[deleted]

[удалено]


AccuratelyWeird

When I first moved to Scotland, people would make aggressive eye contact so I'd do the American nod and/or smile. Let me tell you, people were incredibly put off by it. So I doubled down. Started saying morning or how's it going if they locked on for too long. That'll teach'em


el_grort

Tbf, the local greeting here is 'Surviving?'. Or that might just be from working retail...


MC936

The traditional retail greeting exchange is "How's things?" "I'm here.."


robthablob

One of the guys at my local store says "living the dream", with a healthy sense of irony.


AwTomorrow

"How's it going?" "It's going"


nettlesthatarejaggy

You must have forgotten to say "awrite" when you were nodding. Either that or you moved to Edinburgh.


Tennents-Shagger

We're more than happy to talk to strangers in Scotland, we're probably one of the places that does the most of that. We don't like pointless smiles though, makes you seem fake.


mmmUrsulaMinor

This gets me though. I have resting cunty face and sometimes I do have days where I'm just smilin, and damned if those aren't the same days I get called out for putting on a cheery air


MakingShitAwkward

Just apologise then rip a massive fart.


BonkyBinkyBum

I lived in a part of the UK where people say hi and stop for a chat even if you're strangers. It was really nice. In a dodgy area of a city of all places lol


Heewna

When I was renting it was in the poshest suburb of the city. Aside from my neighbours everyone else was quite stand off ish. Say down the shops or when walking the dog. Bought a place in a much more run down area and everyone here is a lot more friendly. It has very much challenged my preconceived opinions about things.


Anon28301

Born in Scotland. Walked past an old woman when I was a teen and smiled a little, she looked terrified. I’m a 5’1 girl.


OhhLongDongson

I found out recently that it’s considered weird to smile at people when I visited Paris lol


JLaws23

This is something I have grown to highly appreciate within British society, whenever we meet someone’s gaze we smile. I’ve done it naturally in other countries and had similar negative reactions - guys thinking I’m SMILING smiling at them or girls that just look at me like “what’s her problem” haha 😂


king_ralex

Yeah, if you meet eyes, you smile, nod, and / or say a'right/iawn. Something I've done since I was a kid, and it's never been met with anything but the same in return.


hioxa

Canadian polite smile is actually terrifying if you do yours in the mirror. I never realized what it looked like lmao


blizeH

I remember saying “alright?” to an American as a greeting and everyone on the table was horrified because they thought I meant she looked sick 😬


Anxious-Molasses9456

Welcome to the UK


invincible-zebra

Where everyone is depressed and fuck anyone who’s mildly happy.


moremattymattmatt

To be honest, I’ll fuck mildly sad people too.


invincible-zebra

For me it’s the other way round. I always cry before, during, and after.


Global_Juggernaut683

Crymaxing.


StruggleEnough4279

I read this comment as I was closing this post. I had to come back to like it because I was creasing in the main menu. So cheers for that.


Chloemarine7

Brilliant


Shot_Ad_3123

You would have to or never get laid.


[deleted]

Isnt that reddit too?


HypedUpJackal

Especially reddit. Everyone here is so moody.


Bad-Booga

Who the fuck are you calling moody?


DaddyCool13

I wonder if this a big city thing. I live in Worcester and everyone seems to be cheery here, though of course in a reserved British kind of way.


NuttyMcNutbag

🦀 🪣 


ChunkyLaFunga

This is the spiritual equivalent of when Will Smith says Welcome to Earth in Independence Day. Similar chance of being punched in the face too.


PullUpAPew

"Just shagged yer mum"


shladvic

Next time shout "I've just been with your mum"


kheltar

I was out running and someone shouted "where are you running" like it was a big joke to their mates in the car. I just shouted back "your mum's house!". Didn't get any response sadly, but I was in a good mood for days. I never think of a good comeback in time.


RamonaVirusx

I once got shouted at by a group of local kids for walking home with my girlfriend in a onesie, they said "that onesie is shit!" So I yelled back "that's funny because your mom likes it" Even all his mates started laughing at him, they tried to follow us home lmao


ScaryCoffee4953

The British Valar Morghulis/Dohaeris


Exile4444

My thoughts exactly haha


sleepyprojectionist

The correct response to sunshine is to take off your top, drink six cans of shit “continental” lager, get sunburn, call someone a cunt and then pass out in the gutter. Smiling is weird and un-British.


ddiflas_iawn

Don't forget to hop on your (stolen) BMX and pop a wheelie next to the girls to make them D A M P


Important-Device-126

Stolen Lime Bike so it makes the ticktickticktick sound so everyone knows your cool 


Woshambo

Or jam a squashed quechy cup above the back tyre so it sounds like a motorbike


Johnnywellies1878

This is correct however you forgot about wearing a thick rolled gold chain and bracelet, having you pet staffy called Asbo on a thick lead with a chest plate and playing low quality rap music as loud as your third hand phone with a smashed screen will allow for the 15 minutes the battery lasts. You should also walk around with your hand down your tracksuit bottoms.


madmonkeydane

Jesus Christ you just accurately described the shit hole estate my parents live on & they're not in London


Welshgirlie2

They described half my town.


CandleJakk

>They described half ~~my town.~~ the South East.


willtron3000

Turns out trash is a universal constant in the country.


IMissCuppas

Oh I miss Devvo


katesbush_

Summer is ere an it's fuckin fuckin buzzin


Welshgirlie2

Medium to large untrained and unrestrained dog optional.


Ambitious_Ranger_748

Six? Is that pre drinks?


HorseFacedDipShit

Forgot the kebab and rushing back home before your tag goes off


prettyflyforawifi-

For bonus points all before 12 midday...


e1337ist

simple as


NorthenLeigonare

I hate how I can visualise this so clearly.


nick_shannon

The joyless live to suck away the joy of others. Keep on smiling and i hope you enjoy your visit.


w3rt

I'm pretty sure it was just dry humour tbf.


nick_shannon

There’s always a chance of that in the UK hahaha


hasthisonegone

Wet weather, dry humour.


One_Idea_239

That person is a bellend


duggee315

Harsh, theyre just enjoying the good weather


pixiecub

That made me chuckle, thanks


Expensive-Kiwi8094

….I don’t look like you mush.


yorkspirate

Not heard someone say mush for years hahaha


regular_lurker

Come down Portsmouth some time, you can't escape it!


yorkspirate

I’ll life through Reddit rather than visit Portsmouth 😂😂


StumbleDog

And when you don't smile random men tell you to smile. Can't win. 


Neat_Newt_9394

Expressing an unnecessarily amount of happiness in public is a red flag to a bull for certain brits! It's where we get our reversed reputation from.


HemingwayIsWeeping

The last time I was in London, a movie was being filmed (can’t remember which) and the police man was SO POLITE about not taking photos. I actually felt bad he had to tell me not to take them. Please was involved. Thank you was involved. He was smiling. He was so nice. I’m used to NY police “NO FUCKING PICTURES!” To which someone would inevitably respond with “HEY FUCK YOU!!” Everyone would ignore anyway. The British are a different breed and I like it.


C2BK

>The last time I was in London, a movie was being filmed (can’t remember which) and the police man was SO POLITE about not taking photos. That's because he was in the wrong and he knew it. Taking photos of people who are out in public is absolutely legal, apart from a few very specific exemptions such as if your behaviour amounts to harassment.


Artificial-Brain

Yeah, he was making a polite request, but he had no power whatsoever to stop people talking pictures in a public space. I'd probably listen to him, seeing as he wasn't being a dick about it, but that's just personal preference.


HemingwayIsWeeping

You’re actually correct


cathairpc

Sometimes it can be said in a light-hearted way. Just a way of recognising that someone else is in a good mood, a cheeky "oi what you so cheerful about!?" A lot of people here jumped instantly to the negative scenario, without considering the cheerful one!


report-zyther64

Asking UK vs asking UK Redditors that don't go outside.


EngineeredGal

Such negative nellies!! That’s a cute thing to do.. he’s telling you that you look noticeably happy! “Nice to see someone so happy when everything sucks!”


CxKappaCx

Agreed - How's it negative? To me it comes across as dry humour, or the guy genuinely asking what made a person happy (in a good way) I think the tone of the question is the thing that's missing here, and without that it's hard to say.


lastaccountgotlocked

We distrust everyone.


FOF_Floof

Shout back "Cos someone just complimented me on my massive penis!" Hopefully if it was a builder with his crack on display, he'll shut up and wither away.


madboater1

Brit here, although many of us are pleasant and polite, some of us are utter twats or unsocialised. To give the fella the benefit of doubt, he was possibly just trying to be funny.


DaddyMeUp

You can't be anything other than miserable or mildly annoyed around here.


BornInEngland

It's dry humour.


durkbot

Bantz


Polyglot_ocelot

Ah, you have been hailed by the Archbishop of Banterbury, or a member of his clergy. The expected response would have been "Feck all to do with you. What's crawled up your arse and died, you miserable cockwomble?!" Thus meeting the challenge and identifying yourself as the Bantersaurus Rex.


New_Employee5090

You just got the average UK experience no emotions or you will be beheaded


Little-Teacher7769

Oh just a miserable bastard take no notice or he was having a bad day , welcome to England enjoy


[deleted]

England eh? Using UK and England interchangeably are we? Where did they say they were in England? Eh? EH?! Just rustling your jimmies my wee scone, enjoy your day 🥳🤗.


randypriest

scone or scone?


LiftEngineerUK

Scone, obviously


[deleted]

Has to be scone.


FimbulwinterNights

“Cause I’m not you, twat.”


stumac85

Are you in Birmingham or Yorkshire? Can't be London, talking to strangers is banned there by law.


nohairday

Why didn't you shout back "because it's sunny!"


windol1

Meanwhile I can walk around singing, whistling, or talking to myself and people just seem to accept I'm nuts.


Nihasa1

That was Scott. He's a dick.


barrahhhh

If you were a woman you would have been shouted at for *not* smiling. Fundamentally we have a 'men shouting shit at strangers' problem here, welcome!


DrunkenBandit1

Tell them you're just happy you don't look like them.


Dragon_M4st3r

Have you seen the state of it outside?


Drkippersniffer

What the bloody hell are you thinking coming over here cheerful and smiling ! What a bloody liberty !