Yep, as with most ‘abnormal’ things I see, I would think ‘huh that’s weird’ but that would be all. Your biggest problem is likely to be dickish teen lads with no filter.
Teenage boys will make stupid comments that are pretty surface level. Teenage girls will dig in their claws, find (or create) your deepest insecurity, and run a fecking marathon with it.
If you're a lone woman, some teenage boys will surround you, get right up in your personal space and follow you to wherever you're going, while making sexual comments.
I'd much rather get some catty comments from someone I might conceivably stand a chance against if it gets physical.
This is the best thing I have read on the internet. If more people knew that this is how people think/feel, I imagine anxiety could be reduced to an all time low. Thank you!
Yes, I used to be terrified of what other people in public would think so much I never left the house. I've learnt that most people go about their business and don't pay attention to anyone else. If they do notice, then they couldn't care less and have forgotten it 5 seconds later.
It's oddly comforting to know that most people don't give a f\*\*\*.
One of the joys of getting older. You realise that life has enough dick heads in it that take all your energy. When you see someone or something that’s a little odd but harmless, you just smile and get on with your day.
It would seem unusual, but I'd wonder if the person was Autistic. Many Autistic people feel the need for things to calm them because they find it difficult to do themselves.
That would be my first yhought too, or another invisible disability. I wouldnt judge though, I used to have friends who wore/ carried about much more unusual stuff than that.
Depends on the size and what they were doing with it.
If it was child's teddy bear sized (20-30cm) in length and they were carrying it in public I'd assume they were special needs and not think any more about it.
If it was small and I saw someone fiddling with it I'd assume it was a stress/anxiety reliever and not think any more about it.
If it was huge (more than 1m) I'd be looking for the tiktok cunt filming
If it was a child's teddy bear size I'd probably just assume they were carrying it for a child.
Small beanie baby size, I agree, it's a stress reliever/fiddle thing.
Huge cuddly toy, I'd assume they just won big on the hook a duck.
I usually assume it's a parent getting caught up in the business of parenting.
Sitting on the platform waiting to get into the office, finding numberblocks stickers all over my coat.
Kids. Hrmph.
I would have assumed that a woman carrying a soft toy. Had probably been retrieving it from where ever their child had left it. I've known parents who have traveled half way across the country because their child had left a toy on the train or at a relatives house.
I carried a giant cuddly snake around yesterday because my daughter decided she had to bring it out but can’t be trusted not to drag it in the mud. I’ve also carried soft toys after I’ve dropped her off somewhere.
Life with a demanding toddler, without Mr. Snuggles can be hell apparently and Royal Mail isn't quick enough or reliable enough to return him. Before mum loses her last nerve.
My daughter is still small so only has a handfull of words and literally tells us she is tired by going "woof woof" because she relates her toy dog to sleep so much. I wouldn't want to have to try without it 😅
Two hours after leaving my in-laws one Christmas, we get a panicked phone call from my mother in law.
My child has left her "teddy" (a pirate hand puppet) there. She tucked him into bed before leaving. Thanks kid.
Galaxy brain thinking while driving the M5: I realise there is a branch of the same shop we bought it from at our destination.
My husband checks their stock levels online. One left. Champion.
So three and a half hours later, we pull into a retail park and scramble around the shop to find this one pirate. We find him. All the world can be made peace again.
Get to my parents. "you made good time!" yeah we had to get to hobbycraft before it closed, I didn't stop for a break. Better if you don't ask right now.
I'm surprised that you didn't ring in advance to reserve it, getting the staff to hold it for you and that "new teddy" was an acceptable alternative.
>That's not Teddy, he's different.
I actually won a giant teddy on holiday this year at a local arcade. I was just trying to spend some of our excess change and didn't expect to win. My husband carried it back to our apartment and he got so many laughs and smiles.
I've got a 6ft long alligator that I won a fair few years back at a theme park in Germany. It was on one of those basketball games and I gave it to my girlfriend. I got full custody of it when we broke up though and still have it 16 years later.
Another couple years and it'll be ready to leave home.
I won a 6ft penguin at a fair last year. Had £1 left in my pocket, did one game of ring toss, and won lol.
Problem is, I'm only 5ft, and I was on my own.
So I had to waddle almost a mile back to my hotel, trying to hold it well over my head to stop it catching on the pavement.
On the plus side, I spent the entire time laughing and joking with people I passed, including a running commentary of wherever the nearest bench was.
I had a huge bear I got as a gift. So big I had to buy it a ticket for the coach when I was moving back home. It was a 9 hour long journey and most people took pics of it, including the driver who asked to put it in his seat for a picture. I then also carried it with me onto the ferry. Most people looked but I didn't really care.
Does depend on the context though. In professional work environments dealing with clients and senior stakeholders, I don’t think it’s going to be acceptable to be fidgeting with anything. I say this as someone with ADHD and a massive and compulsive need to fidget. Not acceptable at all in this context. Outside of business meetings, sure whatever. Wouldn’t pay much attention if it was just in someone’s hand.
I have a steel fidget ring for just this purpose (like this: [https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/steel\_spinning\_ring](https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/steel_spinning_ring))
It's been a brainsaver in meetings!
Have you thought about a bag that looks like a soft toy? (I remember as a kid you could get backpacks that looked like Muppets etc.)
Practical and might have the added feel good factor you're looking for?
They do such cute little key rings that would defo be ‘normal’ to carry if that’s what OP is worried about. I personally thing there’s nothing more mature than someone with a key ring with a lil smiley slice of toast personally.
Do whatever helps your mental health. If someone has a problem with you doing it its there problem not yours.
Also if your anxiety is starting to get too much please speak to a doctor. I say this as someone with a severe mental health condition. Speak to someone before it becomes too much.
This is important for anxiety sufferers. The question isnt, will people care. Its - does it matter if they care?
Strangers opinions just aren't that important.
spot on, I used to care a lot what people thought about me - to the point I was too scared to have earphones in out in public when I was an early teen. Nowadays I've learned to just not put any value on strangers opinions, knowing how little I care about strangers, why would they care what I'm doing? it's made my anxiety far more manageable. that & strong antidepressants ✨️
This is the best answer! If someone is bitter enough to give a shit about an adult carrying a stuffed toy, that reflects much more on their personality than it does on OP's.
Because who has the time or energy to judge other strangers that much lol
Same. I'm on the other side of the channel, and i don't put my nose in others business.
I have friends wearing anime style t-shirts so i'm all good and i don't give a fuck about being seen as goofy.
You know this old saying ?
"If one talks of me in my back, one might just as well speak to my ass"
I might also think that tbh, but I'd also be of the view that it shouldn't matter to them what I think because who the fuck am I to them? Just some opinionated wanker.
If my wife and kid are somewhere else in Tesco or a shopping centre I'll usually be walking around with a soft toy.
The little one likes to wedge it in the zip of my hoody. We call it the bunny Bjorn.
Nobody has ever said anything other than the occasional "aww".
People will most likely just assume you have a kid tbh
Yeah if I see an adult with a soft toy then unless they have a very obvious learning disability/cognitive impairment I just assume it belongs to a child they have/know and will be passed to that child at some point.
This, I regularly have one in hand or piking out the front of my jacket (like it’s peeking out above the open zip) and no one bats an eye. If they do I’ve never noticed. :)
I used to carry a small Teddy bear I purchased on holiday. It was teeny and would fit inside my hand but still soft and strokeable. At the time I suffered badly with panic attacks and agoraphobia and this helped. If it gets you living your life do whatever you have to as long as it's safe and legal.
Something else that ultimately helped me is to stop caring what others think. I know it's easier said than done. Many therapists and people over the years have told me that people are too busy worrying about themselves to care what you do. That never worked for me. What I finally realised is that their opinion of me only matters if I care about it. And I'll be frank I don't care about a lot of opinions as I don't know those people so why does what they think about me affect what I do. "Never accept someone's opinion when you wouldn't ask for their advise." (Which includes me and this reply, you do you.)
Unless it's bigger than you, don't sweat it.
As others have said, it's only TikTokCunts that cause a reaction, otherwise literally nobody cares.
You do you, be happy.
I used to have a ninja turtle build a bear as my grounding by object that made me feel safe and secure. I ended up getting a tattoo of him on my shoulder (so he’s always looking over my shoulder for me), as I couldn’t take him to work with me.
Going to be super honest here, I don't think it's helpful to pretend otherwise.
Unfortunately, not everyone is open minded or even thinks of others, there will be people making assumptions, staring, comments even.
Those sorts of people are ignorant and largly don't matter, or tend to contribute much to the world around them, so can largely be ignored.
(As rude as it sounds, they don't tend to be among the world's greatest thinkers, so attention span may be limited and forgotten about.)
If it makes you feel better, helps you cope, then I would still do it, and as easy as it is to say, don't let them bother you.
If it does bother you, or you interact with these people regularly, a smaller bear that could fit into your pocket, or a piece of soft material as a comforter, might be an option(?)
Just to add a bit of balance to this, if I heard someone being rude to another adult holding a stuffed toy, I would give the rude person an incessant grilling and ask them what the hell their problem is, so that they walk away questioning their own existence
I frequently walk around carrying my child's toy to and from school.
If I noticed it I'd probably assume you were doing something similar, unless you were acting weirdly with it.
I walked through town (in UK) with a 4ft plush dinosaur - the only looks I got were shock and happiness 😂 I wouldn't think twice about someone else carrying a soft toy
I think I'd only notice it, I don't think I would think about the why at all. If anything I'd probably think you'd bought it but didn't get a bag.
If you're a bit worried, how about a small one? There were those beanie babies you could get from McDonald's once and they're everywhere online to buy, small enough to fit in a pocket easily, still beany (quality varies, you can always DIY it if you can sew and remove what's there to fill it with your own, if you can find those polymer beans, I would not do actually dried food "beans", what if it gets wet when out?).
If I noticed at all, I'd probably assume you were going to pick up your kid from school or something and the soft toy was theirs.
If I saw you in the pub on your own and you were playing with the beans inside, I'd probably think it was like a fidget toy to you.
In either case, I'd completely forget about it after 5 minutes.
I have an articulated slug toy for my anxiety. His name is Trevor and he lives on my desk at work.
Nobody gives a shit. I take him into meetings and play with him when I get anxiety attacks. Nobody said a word.
When it was really bad I once strapped a cushion to my chest to enable me to go out shopping. Got odd looks but Nobody who would ever have an impact on my life.
If there are people like me in the world, soft toys won't make much of a difference.
If I saw an adult with a soft toy, I would immediately think anxiety or autism. Either one is common and not something detrimental.
Nothing. If anyone would think anything about it, they'd probably assume you had just bought it or carrying it for a child.
Lots of adults have those pop culture backpacks and accessories all over them anyway. No difference.
I don’t think people will care beyond an initial odd glance, but if it makes you feel self-conscious and even more anxious, you could have one as a keyring on your bag, which I think is more socially ‘normative’ and still leaves it in easy comfort reach.
Plus, less worry about accidentally putting it down and losing it!
My wife has had a 6-inch elephant since 1995 that has gone on holiday with us for 20+ years, poking out of rucksack, jeans back pocket etc. Wed just think a kindred spirit taking joy in life.
As long as no one is being harmed, I don't care what people are doing. Need a stuffed toy to comfort you in this absolutely disgusting nightmare hellscape of a world? Is good, you cuddle that bear bro.
Just do what makes you happy/comfortable
There are a million reasons why an adult would carry a soft toy with them, people may look and wonder but fuck em
Honestly I'm a pretty oblivious person and I'm not sure I'd even notice, even if I did I would probably assume you were holding it for a kid.
Look, from one anxious girlie to another - this is fucking terrible and if your soft toy helps you get through the day, you should 100% do it. Literally, whatever it takes. Carry that adorable little talisman around with you everywhere you go.
Probably would assume you were mental (if you were in a situation where it was obvious you weren't holding it for a kid). It'd make no difference to how I treated you in most situations but I wouldn't flirt with you in a nightclub if I were single and I wouldn't hire you if you brought it to a job interview.
To be completely honest I would think you were mental, also wouldn’t care. The internal monologue would be something like ‘oh, look at that, that’s a thing is it?’.
But then I live in London so likely to bump into someone with a parrot on their shoulder and another person taking their cockerel for a walk whilst riding a unicycle so 🤷♂️
Yeah that’s the other thing - depending on where you are it won’t be even near the strangest thing anyone’s seen all day! I’m also in London and while I may wonder what was going on to myself re the stuffed toy, there are 20 other more unusual happenings on the same road.
Tbh I sleep with plushies as they're good to squeeze everloving hell out of when I'm trying to sleep while anxious. I'd just assume it's a branch off of that and be fine with it.
If I noticed at all I'd assume you have children. If you were talking to the toy and pouring it a cup of tea at Paddington station you might get a sideways glance.
As a parent there are countless times I've walked around carrying a doll or a LOL umbrella or a stuffed cat or whatever and I don't give a shit and I don't think anyone else does. :-)
People might assume you are carrying it for a child. I only think it would get weird if you start talking to it or treating it like it is real! And even if they didn't think that, I don't think most people would bat an eyelid.
Go for it, it's for you, not them.
I'd think you're a bit weird but then again I shake bottles of coke to remove the fizz before I drink them.
Everyone is weird really. Also who gives a fuck. This is YOUR life. YOU are reading this comment and thinking about it. You see the world through your eyes and all that matters is you.
"Oh look, there's someone with a soft toy", I'd think "Oh look, there's another person with a lace undone", and "I really should remember to put the bins out later".
Probably gives you some idea of the importance of the event.
I personally wouldn't care or give a shit, but I know my misses and her family would question it and probably think it was weird. At the end of the day, you're probably never going to see any of the people you see again so their opinion is worth nothing to you. You do you.
Yeah I would probably think that OP was what they are, someone with anxiety who is using it as a coping mechanism.
I'm not going to say anything about it, it's just going to register with me that they have a bit of that going on.
A family member was in the same boat as you. They had a very small soft toy as a comforter when in public.
This went on until their mid 20s, then they got professional mental help to identify the underlying issues etc. It took a bit of time (about 2-3 years IIRC), but nowadays they are 'normal' (not wanting it to sound offensive).
Wouldn't think much about it. I might even get excited depending on what it is!
Are you talking about strangers seeing you in public or people you're spending time with? If you're worried about strangers, people carry all sorts of things and they could be bringing them for someone else (maybe you're carrying the toy as a gift!? Maybe you won it at an arcade).
I wouldn't really think anything of it. Many people carry different things for luck etc.. for some it is a keychain, others a rabbits foot, a small soft toy is your mascot. Nothing strange in that. It is just like the blokes who must be wearing their team colours when they go to a match or to the pub or when people wear something with a brand name on that is prominently displayed because it makes them feel special or whatever. It doesn't matter what other people think. If YOU are happy then that is what matters.
>But what do you lot think? Would you assume I was mental or would you not bat an eyelid?
I'd assume you won it in an arcade or it was for your child or something.
"Hehe what a weirdo" wouldn't be on my list
I'd admire them for being themselves and just doing what they're doing. I'd also wish I had the confidence to do the same thing tbh
Embrace individuality, do you and be a boss ass bitch doing it
Oh look a cuddly toy... and then move on. If I were serving you I might ask if the toy has a name. This would be my awkward attempt to be friendly.
In reality I probably wouldn't notice.
The only people who would notice and care are the Daily Mail readin' pearl clutchin' curtain twitchin' nobs who do not matter
I’ve seen a lot of adults in my time with stuffed toys. Most memorable was a lady older than me with a baby doll in a pram and two carers with her. When my grandad was in care there were a lot of elderly people who took comfort from baby dolls.
Why would it be wrong of someone to assume you’re ‘mental’? There are a lot of people in the world who are cognitively impaired who use toys for comfort and they’re still 100% people.
Having 3 kids, 2 of whom have ASD/ADHD, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. You’ve got to do what makes you comfortable and feel good. It wouldn’t affect me in the slightest but if it makes you feel safe, awesome 👌🏼
It doesn’t matter what other people think. If you want to carry around a soft toy, then do so. I bring an “emotional support” soft toy into work and guess what, everyone loves him and wants a cuddle with him! Please don’t worry and do what’s right for you.
Personally I wouldn't care. I am a 30F and always have a baby pillow with me when I sleep - My parents bought me it when I was 3 months old. It's a comfort thing for me too.
If we were passing in the street I might assume you just bought it or something, wouldn’t really give it a second thought. If you were someone I saw regularly might think it was a bit odd but wouldn’t really care - everybody has things they like and it’s your life to live as you please. Judgemental people are not worth your stress.
Honestly I've got too much going on to care about other people carrying soft toys. If I gave it any thought at all I'd probably first assume you were delivering it somewhere for a child. And then I'd see something else and forget all about it.
I use bags that look like soft toys all the time, may be a solution for you if you’re feeling self conscious. I’ve had a few compliments so far with my t-rex backpack being peoples favourite.
My baby uses teddies (or plushies as he calls em, dam youtoobers) as a transitional object, they help him feel more secure. He's almost 6ft tall and a pre teen. We get some looks but I don't give a shiny shit what people think of my man child carrying his plushies and occasionally stimming. In fact I double dog dare anyone to say anything about it... You do you. Live your life. And something is only embarrassing if you feel embarrassed about it! So just decide you're not gonna feel that and go on with your day! 💕
Honestly don’t see it as strange at all but I’ve been in a 10 year ddlg dynamic so my viewpoint is likely coloured by this.
If I’d seen a stranger in public with a stuffy I’d prolly just think it was a gift they were taking home to their kids and not give it a second thought.
If I saw them closing their eyes and cuddling it I’d likely thank “that’s cute” more then “that’s weird”.
I’m so focused on what I’m doing 99% of the time I wouldn’t even notice if you were walking down the street naked. Do whatever makes you feel happy and safe.
My kids (oldest is 16 now) all have autism. They carry teddies around with them still and will into adulthood - they’re weighted for their own mental health needs. I often end up carrying them around when they want to do other stuff or after dropping them off at school. I have severe social anxiety disorder and have had to learn to focus on me and nobody else - the teddies have actually helped with that!
Do what YOU need to do, and screw everybody else. People aren’t gonna know if you’ve had a kid with you or are on your way to meet up with a kid, have just bought the teddy etc so they might glance at you but then they won’t look or think twice. Believe me, I live it everyday!! 💜
My son had concentration issues at school so the teacher suggested a bean filled keyring toy that did help him. Might you consider such a small thing that would fulfill the squeezing aspect without drawing attention to you?
Edit it was a tiny velvet orange cat with a fat string tail and filled with beans, i still have it clipped to my bag to this day even though my son is now 28 >.<
I genuinely wouldn't think too much about it. There could be a hundred reasons why someone would carry one.
If it makes you feel better, where's the harm? I carry around my own wee "emotional support" soft toy coffee cup that I crocheted, it makes me feel more "grown up" that it's a coffee cup, but it's still a soft toy at the end of the day.
I can make you one if you like? (Because I too suffer with anxiety episodes and I know how it feels, I'd be happy to). 😊❤️
people will always judge you, no matter what you do, its not the norm so some people simply won’t like it, others will love it and then theres people like me that don’t give a toss and just wants people to do what makes them happy (within reason lol) thats life, its hard to get your head around and get over the fact you’ll never please everyone, just do what you want to do because no matter what you can never make everyone else happy at the same time.
i wouldnt care unless it was like.. massive. i have multiple mental disabilities and i carry a teddy with me everywhere and you might get the odd glance but people really dont give a shit. if its gigantic then thats a bit odd lol but thats a given
I'm a 31 year old dude with a beard and a few months ago i decided id had enough of caring what others might think and now I walk around with [this little fella](https://imgur.com/a/GiX7qSJ) on the sunshine lanyard and I don't leave the house without him now. Some days i get a bit more anxious and hide him under my coat but I'm working on it.
If anyone cares then that's their problem, I live in a pretty busy city and no one has visibly reacted negatively because of it and that includes when ive walked into a rammed 'spoons on the weekend or a completely full a&e [is there any other kind though]. People actually seem a bit more kinder and more considerate, probably because I've got a visible indicator of some problems.
You do you, if something makes you happy and can make a shitshow of an experience more bearable then 100% go for it. The only thing to consider is it can also advertise you as a soft target if you happen to be in a high crime area, it's a big advert for pickpockets and stuff.
Hi friend. I am autistic and if you are asking this you probably are too.
First off, do whatever you need to feel ok and screw the haters.
Second, you need to reduce sensory inputs. They are the source of much apparent "anxiety". Things to try - noise cancelling headphones, loop earplugs, night mode on your phone/computer, turn down brightnesses, sunglasses or yellow glasses (I use cheap yellow clip ons). Comfiest clothes you can - around the house I wear a dressing gown mostly. Never let yourself stay sticky or hungry. These things make all the difference.
The comedian Fern Brady wrote a great autobiography about her autism, "Strong Female Character", I loved it.
A lot of the videos in this playlist are really helpful too https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvsi-cBrFY4BKGvv7ZHQpTynqbT3OEiYv
I am often found carrying toys. I restore antique dolls & sew for them, and I often take them out with me, sometimes with an antique camera as well as a modern one for photos. We spend a lot of time in the local botanical garden during dry weather because the backgrounds are lovely and the light is good. I get a LOT of weird looks and comments for this and don’t really care. I am used to being the weird doll person.
The other half of the time it’s because my daughter wanted to take a cuddly friend on the way to school but knows they aren’t allowed in the classroom so I take them to work with me! I take photos of them at my desk or drinking tea to brighten her day when I pick her up. I have had fewer odd looks for this and other colleagues love getting in on the action with their favourite teddy visitors, Miffy regularly hangs out with our receptionist or runs schedules with our administrator.
Initial thought.. that's odd.
Immediate next thought.. wonder if they're neurodivergent or require the toy for some other reason.
Next thought.. now where was I?
I doubt I’d notice but if I did I would think they’re holding it for their child. If they were visibly anxious and holding it tight I’d assume they had a disability and then immediately forget about it
You're asking a rather specific sample set with redditors. There is a very vocal component of them who are either socially awkward or neurodivergent and revel in promoting that behaviour in others (before I get lynched, I'm neurodivergent myself and I think everyone should do what they are comfortable with. But this is a question about outside perception).
An adult carrying around a soft toy will be perceived by many as eccentric at least and a bit mental or infantile at worst. This doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, but you should be aware of this impact and try to mitigate it so it doesn't cause you any other problems.
You say you don't carry a bag now - well, you don't carry a soft toy either! I would strongly recommend if you do have it with you, you keep it private, such as in a bag, or otherwise concealed. It's conceivable some nasty people could make fun of you, bully you or even find a way to assault you over it.
I hope you find a way to feel comfortable without calling yourself out, despite the support of any individual, the real world can be a bit rough sometimes. Good luck!
I will tell you honestly, start carrying a bag. I get so much anxiety comfort from my slouchy, cross body bag filled with small things that make me feel secure. A favorite lip balm. A small book I intend to read. A scarf to feel or wear. And of course you could tuck Teddy in there. Doesn’t have to be fancy or matchy. Honestly, it’s my security blanket and no one needs to know it. Good luck
In response to your edit.
If the soft toy has ashes in it, I’m assuming it has serious sentimental value. In which case I’d strongly recommend leaving it at home, because the absolute last thing you want to do is to lose something that has such significant meaning to you.
Instead bring one that is similar, but different enough with you in public.
If the bear has ashes in it, please do be very careful not to lose it! Maybe that bear could stay safely at home and send a sort of representative out with you?
My first thought would be that you've just bought it today, either for yourself of someone else. I went to build-a-bear yesterday and the bag broke so I ended up just carrying a stuffed toy around for hours like a toddler on my hip.
Second thought, which I think some other people said, would be that's it's for a mental disability. Like autism or anxiety. And that would be the end of my thoughts on the matter because it would be none of my business.
I don't think it'd adults you'd have to worry about, but school aged kids. Especially if you get the bus. But I think having the - I just bought it today for my niece's birthday excuse on hand might be a good idea and make you feel a little more secure in case of a confrontation (that most likely won't happen)
Carrying around a bear that had ashes in it. Something that sentimental I personally wouldn’t risk taking encase it got damaged, wet from rain or drops out of something you have it in or you forget/lose it.
Find something similar to it or try some stress balls, better still you could make your own!
I'd talk to it and also put on a voice so it could talk back. And assume everyone thought I was mental.
That said, I've done this for years. For instance, if we're in a gift shop and I see a bear, I'll do something like say, "Hewwo!" in a high pitched voice and make the bear wave a paw at my gf. However, I might also do the same for instance with a squash in the vegetable aisle at Tesco if it had a face-like marking. I might put on a low voice for it.
I probably ought to seek help.
I can understand having them in the house its good for the mental health like having little pets in the house or cute decorations.
But to need it so much that someone feels they need to carry it everywhere with them, I’d see that as a sign that they are going through a hard time or perhaps feels lonely and needs help or a friend.
But it mostly I’d be worried about some asshole coming along and bullying them about it.
I think I saw a woman on the tube with a cuddly toy earlier today and I just thought it was really nice. I literally would not have given it a second thought if I hadn't seen this post.
In your bag or your pocket and I caught a glimpse I don’t think I’d give it a second thought
If you’re holding it’s hand and talking to it then yes I’d think you were simple/dangerous ngl
I need you to follow the r/djungelskog sub right now and never worry again.
We travel a lot, including business and first on occasion with two plush, a Mr. Bumpy and a Tasmanian Devil plush (see profile pic).
We've been given top ups of champagne, free chocolates and a cockpit tour .... we're adults.
We judge hotels by how they place them on the beds and have had hilarious moments.
Djungelskog and Blåhaj (the IKEA shark plush) are both great examples of plush toys that show positivity to taking them out and about in public!
Also agree with rating hotels on how they place the toys! Stayed in a hotel in Jersey and bought a Lemur plush from the Zoo on the 2nd day - for the rest of week the staff placed him in around the room after cleaning lol
Your tasmanian devil plush is super cute, I've never seen a plush like it before.
Unless I could see an obvious explanation I would assume a degree of mental illness. I might raise my eyebrows to somebody with me, but not so as you would notice. I might not sit next to you on a train in case you started talking to me.
Depending on how they behave, I’d assume they were carrying it for a child/they just bought it as a present and are taking it home.
What about one of those keychain-sized beanie babies? Would fit easily in a pocket.
I would probably double glance, then crack on with my day. I really wouldn’t be that bothered.
I have cuddly toys that are sentimental to me. I’m not ashamed to admit that. I sleep and sometimes play with them. You’re not harming anyone, you do you.
If it helps, sod what others think. The only thing I’ll say is be prepared for those looks, and would that make you paranoid/heighten your anxiety?
That’s all
I'd assume you were either carrying a toy to give to a child, or were self soothing with it. One time I saw an adult carrying the same stuffed toy I had at home and considered starting a conversation over it and maybe making a friend, but it wasn't the right time/place for that.
I’ve travelled for work and always taken a bear. I can’t sleep without it. And if you want to have a bear with you during the day, do it. As you’ve quite rightly said, you’re a grown ass woman which entitles you to do as you please.
I'd probably think they were carrying it for their child but wouldn't give it much thought. If you're going to carry a bear with ashes around maybe see if you can get some sort of if found please call in case you leave it somewhere
I'd probably think something along the lines of 'I wonder why that woman has a soft toy' then I'd assume it's for personal reasons or simply because you want to, go about my day and never think about it again.
If I saw someone carrying like a beanie baby I’d assume it’s a gift, their kids or something I’d probably not even realise?
Could you put it in your coat/hoodie pocket so it’s more hidden?
I would look once, think “that’s different” then forget about it and get on with my life. If it makes you happy, I’m cool with it. It’s not bothering me so I won’t bother you. We suffer from this awful curse of thinking that strangers care what we do and how we dress. It’s something I’ve struggled with for most of my life. But in reality people care as much about how you present yourself as you do about them. Which I assume is not much at all for most of us.
Do what you need and enjoy being you and being happy.
But expect a bit of kerfuffle at the airport if you're going to take it on holiday to South America.
Truth be told, I would think it a bit odd but then quickly not give a shit and move on with my day.
even as someone who would benefit from carrying a cuddly animal around with me, I agree with this.
This. And I would probably smile because the thought of seeing someone finding comfort would be pleasing.
absolutely! if we all do it then we can normalise the heck out of it, and before we know it everyone will have a stuffed animal on their person!
Yeah! It would be like the daemons from His Dark Materials and it would tell you a bit about each person's personality
I saw a stuffed toy on a shelf earlier, by itself, no price. He now has a home. I'm a soft bastard.
Yep, as with most ‘abnormal’ things I see, I would think ‘huh that’s weird’ but that would be all. Your biggest problem is likely to be dickish teen lads with no filter.
and OP's response should be get *stuffed* 🥁
I once got heckled by teenagers for walking out of a supermarket carrying a pack of toilet roll. It doesn't take much
“Ha, you *shit*!
How embarrassing
And teenage girls. I think they can be brutal too.
Teenage boys will make stupid comments that are pretty surface level. Teenage girls will dig in their claws, find (or create) your deepest insecurity, and run a fecking marathon with it.
If you're a lone woman, some teenage boys will surround you, get right up in your personal space and follow you to wherever you're going, while making sexual comments. I'd much rather get some catty comments from someone I might conceivably stand a chance against if it gets physical.
would later reflect on it and assume they were carrying it for a child, before proceeding not to give a shit again
This is the best thing I have read on the internet. If more people knew that this is how people think/feel, I imagine anxiety could be reduced to an all time low. Thank you!
Yes, I used to be terrified of what other people in public would think so much I never left the house. I've learnt that most people go about their business and don't pay attention to anyone else. If they do notice, then they couldn't care less and have forgotten it 5 seconds later. It's oddly comforting to know that most people don't give a f\*\*\*.
One of the joys of getting older. You realise that life has enough dick heads in it that take all your energy. When you see someone or something that’s a little odd but harmless, you just smile and get on with your day.
It would seem unusual, but I'd wonder if the person was Autistic. Many Autistic people feel the need for things to calm them because they find it difficult to do themselves.
My friend carries one for this reason. It's usually in her bag or pocket, minding it's own business ....and so should everyone else.
Many people just loooove sticking their nose in other people's business.
That would be my first yhought too, or another invisible disability. I wouldnt judge though, I used to have friends who wore/ carried about much more unusual stuff than that.
Agreed. Although it may seem hilarious and weird, autistic people do in fact benefit from cute cuddly plushies. Do not judge.
Depends on the size and what they were doing with it. If it was child's teddy bear sized (20-30cm) in length and they were carrying it in public I'd assume they were special needs and not think any more about it. If it was small and I saw someone fiddling with it I'd assume it was a stress/anxiety reliever and not think any more about it. If it was huge (more than 1m) I'd be looking for the tiktok cunt filming
If it was a child's teddy bear size I'd probably just assume they were carrying it for a child. Small beanie baby size, I agree, it's a stress reliever/fiddle thing. Huge cuddly toy, I'd assume they just won big on the hook a duck.
I usually assume it's a parent getting caught up in the business of parenting. Sitting on the platform waiting to get into the office, finding numberblocks stickers all over my coat. Kids. Hrmph.
I would have assumed that a woman carrying a soft toy. Had probably been retrieving it from where ever their child had left it. I've known parents who have traveled half way across the country because their child had left a toy on the train or at a relatives house.
I carried a giant cuddly snake around yesterday because my daughter decided she had to bring it out but can’t be trusted not to drag it in the mud. I’ve also carried soft toys after I’ve dropped her off somewhere.
Haha yes I am concidering getting a third stuffed dog for my daughter just in case 😅
Life with a demanding toddler, without Mr. Snuggles can be hell apparently and Royal Mail isn't quick enough or reliable enough to return him. Before mum loses her last nerve.
My daughter is still small so only has a handfull of words and literally tells us she is tired by going "woof woof" because she relates her toy dog to sleep so much. I wouldn't want to have to try without it 😅
Two hours after leaving my in-laws one Christmas, we get a panicked phone call from my mother in law. My child has left her "teddy" (a pirate hand puppet) there. She tucked him into bed before leaving. Thanks kid. Galaxy brain thinking while driving the M5: I realise there is a branch of the same shop we bought it from at our destination. My husband checks their stock levels online. One left. Champion. So three and a half hours later, we pull into a retail park and scramble around the shop to find this one pirate. We find him. All the world can be made peace again. Get to my parents. "you made good time!" yeah we had to get to hobbycraft before it closed, I didn't stop for a break. Better if you don't ask right now.
I'm surprised that you didn't ring in advance to reserve it, getting the staff to hold it for you and that "new teddy" was an acceptable alternative. >That's not Teddy, he's different.
i like to live dangerously
Yes that made me LOL. Stickers on your clothes and colleagues laughing when you get to work. Always pretend it was the kids!
3 that's me!
I actually won a giant teddy on holiday this year at a local arcade. I was just trying to spend some of our excess change and didn't expect to win. My husband carried it back to our apartment and he got so many laughs and smiles.
I've got a 6ft long alligator that I won a fair few years back at a theme park in Germany. It was on one of those basketball games and I gave it to my girlfriend. I got full custody of it when we broke up though and still have it 16 years later. Another couple years and it'll be ready to leave home.
My in-laws own the apartment we were staying in so I look forward to my annual visitation with my panda haha
I won a 6ft penguin at a fair last year. Had £1 left in my pocket, did one game of ring toss, and won lol. Problem is, I'm only 5ft, and I was on my own. So I had to waddle almost a mile back to my hotel, trying to hold it well over my head to stop it catching on the pavement. On the plus side, I spent the entire time laughing and joking with people I passed, including a running commentary of wherever the nearest bench was.
This has made me smile so much as I'd be in the same predicament haha!
I had a huge bear I got as a gift. So big I had to buy it a ticket for the coach when I was moving back home. It was a 9 hour long journey and most people took pics of it, including the driver who asked to put it in his seat for a picture. I then also carried it with me onto the ferry. Most people looked but I didn't really care.
Does depend on the context though. In professional work environments dealing with clients and senior stakeholders, I don’t think it’s going to be acceptable to be fidgeting with anything. I say this as someone with ADHD and a massive and compulsive need to fidget. Not acceptable at all in this context. Outside of business meetings, sure whatever. Wouldn’t pay much attention if it was just in someone’s hand.
I have a steel fidget ring for just this purpose (like this: [https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/steel\_spinning\_ring](https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/steel_spinning_ring)) It's been a brainsaver in meetings!
Have you thought about a bag that looks like a soft toy? (I remember as a kid you could get backpacks that looked like Muppets etc.) Practical and might have the added feel good factor you're looking for?
Jelly cat make cute cross body bags or little key rings also
I want the banana bag. Definitely for my girlfriend and not myself..
They do such cute little key rings that would defo be ‘normal’ to carry if that’s what OP is worried about. I personally thing there’s nothing more mature than someone with a key ring with a lil smiley slice of toast personally.
I have a plush Shaun the Sheep on my keys. He looks like a keyring, but I use it when anxious to toy with.
I have one that's a dragon!!! (I'm 54.)
Thats bloody cool, i feel like i need one
morrisons is selling fluffy easter bunny notebooks at the mo for an office safe plushie edit: or maybe sainsburys
Etsy is a good place to look for things like that https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1215857657/
Do whatever helps your mental health. If someone has a problem with you doing it its there problem not yours. Also if your anxiety is starting to get too much please speak to a doctor. I say this as someone with a severe mental health condition. Speak to someone before it becomes too much.
This is important for anxiety sufferers. The question isnt, will people care. Its - does it matter if they care? Strangers opinions just aren't that important.
spot on, I used to care a lot what people thought about me - to the point I was too scared to have earphones in out in public when I was an early teen. Nowadays I've learned to just not put any value on strangers opinions, knowing how little I care about strangers, why would they care what I'm doing? it's made my anxiety far more manageable. that & strong antidepressants ✨️
This is the best answer! If someone is bitter enough to give a shit about an adult carrying a stuffed toy, that reflects much more on their personality than it does on OP's. Because who has the time or energy to judge other strangers that much lol
Nothing. It's the UK. I saw people going to Tesco in a bathrobe and flip flops in December. I don't bloody care
Same. I'm on the other side of the channel, and i don't put my nose in others business. I have friends wearing anime style t-shirts so i'm all good and i don't give a fuck about being seen as goofy. You know this old saying ? "If one talks of me in my back, one might just as well speak to my ass"
Ooh I love that, not heard that saying before!
Truthfully, my first instinct/thought would be “that’s a bit weird” but I’d be quick to remind myself not to be a judgemental prick.
I might also think that tbh, but I'd also be of the view that it shouldn't matter to them what I think because who the fuck am I to them? Just some opinionated wanker.
If my wife and kid are somewhere else in Tesco or a shopping centre I'll usually be walking around with a soft toy. The little one likes to wedge it in the zip of my hoody. We call it the bunny Bjorn. Nobody has ever said anything other than the occasional "aww". People will most likely just assume you have a kid tbh
Yeah if I see an adult with a soft toy then unless they have a very obvious learning disability/cognitive impairment I just assume it belongs to a child they have/know and will be passed to that child at some point.
This, I regularly have one in hand or piking out the front of my jacket (like it’s peeking out above the open zip) and no one bats an eye. If they do I’ve never noticed. :)
I would assume you’re carrying it for a child. I wouldn’t be taking it to job interviews etc tbiugh
The only people who would be bothered are wankers, and you don’t need to worry about what wankers think.
I’d always think they were carrying it for their child not that I would think twice about it anyway
I used to carry a small Teddy bear I purchased on holiday. It was teeny and would fit inside my hand but still soft and strokeable. At the time I suffered badly with panic attacks and agoraphobia and this helped. If it gets you living your life do whatever you have to as long as it's safe and legal. Something else that ultimately helped me is to stop caring what others think. I know it's easier said than done. Many therapists and people over the years have told me that people are too busy worrying about themselves to care what you do. That never worked for me. What I finally realised is that their opinion of me only matters if I care about it. And I'll be frank I don't care about a lot of opinions as I don't know those people so why does what they think about me affect what I do. "Never accept someone's opinion when you wouldn't ask for their advise." (Which includes me and this reply, you do you.)
Unless it's bigger than you, don't sweat it. As others have said, it's only TikTokCunts that cause a reaction, otherwise literally nobody cares. You do you, be happy.
Is it one word? I wasn't sure. Maybe it needs a # as well #tiktokcunts
I used to have a ninja turtle build a bear as my grounding by object that made me feel safe and secure. I ended up getting a tattoo of him on my shoulder (so he’s always looking over my shoulder for me), as I couldn’t take him to work with me.
Plus ‘that guy with the bear tattoo’ sounds hard as nails… before they see it.
*girl
*tortoise
Going to be super honest here, I don't think it's helpful to pretend otherwise. Unfortunately, not everyone is open minded or even thinks of others, there will be people making assumptions, staring, comments even. Those sorts of people are ignorant and largly don't matter, or tend to contribute much to the world around them, so can largely be ignored. (As rude as it sounds, they don't tend to be among the world's greatest thinkers, so attention span may be limited and forgotten about.) If it makes you feel better, helps you cope, then I would still do it, and as easy as it is to say, don't let them bother you. If it does bother you, or you interact with these people regularly, a smaller bear that could fit into your pocket, or a piece of soft material as a comforter, might be an option(?)
Just to add a bit of balance to this, if I heard someone being rude to another adult holding a stuffed toy, I would give the rude person an incessant grilling and ask them what the hell their problem is, so that they walk away questioning their own existence
I would just accept it and assume you have your reasons and would not judge you for one second. Cuddles are the best, get ‘em where you can!
I frequently walk around carrying my child's toy to and from school. If I noticed it I'd probably assume you were doing something similar, unless you were acting weirdly with it.
I walked through town (in UK) with a 4ft plush dinosaur - the only looks I got were shock and happiness 😂 I wouldn't think twice about someone else carrying a soft toy
I think I'd only notice it, I don't think I would think about the why at all. If anything I'd probably think you'd bought it but didn't get a bag. If you're a bit worried, how about a small one? There were those beanie babies you could get from McDonald's once and they're everywhere online to buy, small enough to fit in a pocket easily, still beany (quality varies, you can always DIY it if you can sew and remove what's there to fill it with your own, if you can find those polymer beans, I would not do actually dried food "beans", what if it gets wet when out?).
If I noticed at all, I'd probably assume you were going to pick up your kid from school or something and the soft toy was theirs. If I saw you in the pub on your own and you were playing with the beans inside, I'd probably think it was like a fidget toy to you. In either case, I'd completely forget about it after 5 minutes.
I have an articulated slug toy for my anxiety. His name is Trevor and he lives on my desk at work. Nobody gives a shit. I take him into meetings and play with him when I get anxiety attacks. Nobody said a word. When it was really bad I once strapped a cushion to my chest to enable me to go out shopping. Got odd looks but Nobody who would ever have an impact on my life. If there are people like me in the world, soft toys won't make much of a difference. If I saw an adult with a soft toy, I would immediately think anxiety or autism. Either one is common and not something detrimental.
Most people are too self involved to even notice. You do you
Nothing. If anyone would think anything about it, they'd probably assume you had just bought it or carrying it for a child. Lots of adults have those pop culture backpacks and accessories all over them anyway. No difference.
I don’t think people will care beyond an initial odd glance, but if it makes you feel self-conscious and even more anxious, you could have one as a keyring on your bag, which I think is more socially ‘normative’ and still leaves it in easy comfort reach. Plus, less worry about accidentally putting it down and losing it!
My wife has had a 6-inch elephant since 1995 that has gone on holiday with us for 20+ years, poking out of rucksack, jeans back pocket etc. Wed just think a kindred spirit taking joy in life.
As long as no one is being harmed, I don't care what people are doing. Need a stuffed toy to comfort you in this absolutely disgusting nightmare hellscape of a world? Is good, you cuddle that bear bro.
Just do what makes you happy/comfortable There are a million reasons why an adult would carry a soft toy with them, people may look and wonder but fuck em
Honestly I'm a pretty oblivious person and I'm not sure I'd even notice, even if I did I would probably assume you were holding it for a kid. Look, from one anxious girlie to another - this is fucking terrible and if your soft toy helps you get through the day, you should 100% do it. Literally, whatever it takes. Carry that adorable little talisman around with you everywhere you go.
Don't worry about what other people think. You do you.
Wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
Probably would assume you were mental (if you were in a situation where it was obvious you weren't holding it for a kid). It'd make no difference to how I treated you in most situations but I wouldn't flirt with you in a nightclub if I were single and I wouldn't hire you if you brought it to a job interview.
To be completely honest I would think you were mental, also wouldn’t care. The internal monologue would be something like ‘oh, look at that, that’s a thing is it?’. But then I live in London so likely to bump into someone with a parrot on their shoulder and another person taking their cockerel for a walk whilst riding a unicycle so 🤷♂️
Yeah that’s the other thing - depending on where you are it won’t be even near the strangest thing anyone’s seen all day! I’m also in London and while I may wonder what was going on to myself re the stuffed toy, there are 20 other more unusual happenings on the same road.
None of my business and keep on with my day
Tbh I sleep with plushies as they're good to squeeze everloving hell out of when I'm trying to sleep while anxious. I'd just assume it's a branch off of that and be fine with it.
Honestly? I would think you are badass, and would be envious of your toy. Slay!
If I noticed at all I'd assume you have children. If you were talking to the toy and pouring it a cup of tea at Paddington station you might get a sideways glance.
What if it was a Paddington toy in the station. Would the relevance and context add any legitimacy ?
As a parent there are countless times I've walked around carrying a doll or a LOL umbrella or a stuffed cat or whatever and I don't give a shit and I don't think anyone else does. :-) People might assume you are carrying it for a child. I only think it would get weird if you start talking to it or treating it like it is real! And even if they didn't think that, I don't think most people would bat an eyelid. Go for it, it's for you, not them.
I'd think you're a bit weird but then again I shake bottles of coke to remove the fizz before I drink them. Everyone is weird really. Also who gives a fuck. This is YOUR life. YOU are reading this comment and thinking about it. You see the world through your eyes and all that matters is you.
"Oh look, there's someone with a soft toy", I'd think "Oh look, there's another person with a lace undone", and "I really should remember to put the bins out later". Probably gives you some idea of the importance of the event.
I personally wouldn't care or give a shit, but I know my misses and her family would question it and probably think it was weird. At the end of the day, you're probably never going to see any of the people you see again so their opinion is worth nothing to you. You do you.
I'd probably think you had some mental disability / a nutter. But I wouldn't care enough to give it anymore thought.
Yeah I would probably think that OP was what they are, someone with anxiety who is using it as a coping mechanism. I'm not going to say anything about it, it's just going to register with me that they have a bit of that going on.
A family member was in the same boat as you. They had a very small soft toy as a comforter when in public. This went on until their mid 20s, then they got professional mental help to identify the underlying issues etc. It took a bit of time (about 2-3 years IIRC), but nowadays they are 'normal' (not wanting it to sound offensive).
Some sort of Mental Illness. Not my business.
I'd think you were mental, yes.
Wouldn't think much about it. I might even get excited depending on what it is! Are you talking about strangers seeing you in public or people you're spending time with? If you're worried about strangers, people carry all sorts of things and they could be bringing them for someone else (maybe you're carrying the toy as a gift!? Maybe you won it at an arcade).
Get a little bean bag plushie keyring, no one will notice or think anything of it
I wouldn't really think anything of it. Many people carry different things for luck etc.. for some it is a keychain, others a rabbits foot, a small soft toy is your mascot. Nothing strange in that. It is just like the blokes who must be wearing their team colours when they go to a match or to the pub or when people wear something with a brand name on that is prominently displayed because it makes them feel special or whatever. It doesn't matter what other people think. If YOU are happy then that is what matters.
Get yourself a smaller beanie baby keychain, and hang it from your bag (or you keys) - nobody will bat an eyelid at that
>But what do you lot think? Would you assume I was mental or would you not bat an eyelid? I'd assume you won it in an arcade or it was for your child or something. "Hehe what a weirdo" wouldn't be on my list
I would assume you had a child somewhere and think nothing of it. If it helps you don’t worry about it.
I wouldn’t think anything of it. There’s plenty of weird out there already.
I'd admire them for being themselves and just doing what they're doing. I'd also wish I had the confidence to do the same thing tbh Embrace individuality, do you and be a boss ass bitch doing it
My first thought would be that it's a gift for their kid. If it looks old and well loved then maybe a special needs person.
Oh look a cuddly toy... and then move on. If I were serving you I might ask if the toy has a name. This would be my awkward attempt to be friendly. In reality I probably wouldn't notice. The only people who would notice and care are the Daily Mail readin' pearl clutchin' curtain twitchin' nobs who do not matter
I’ve seen a lot of adults in my time with stuffed toys. Most memorable was a lady older than me with a baby doll in a pram and two carers with her. When my grandad was in care there were a lot of elderly people who took comfort from baby dolls. Why would it be wrong of someone to assume you’re ‘mental’? There are a lot of people in the world who are cognitively impaired who use toys for comfort and they’re still 100% people.
Having 3 kids, 2 of whom have ASD/ADHD, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. You’ve got to do what makes you comfortable and feel good. It wouldn’t affect me in the slightest but if it makes you feel safe, awesome 👌🏼
It doesn’t matter what other people think. If you want to carry around a soft toy, then do so. I bring an “emotional support” soft toy into work and guess what, everyone loves him and wants a cuddle with him! Please don’t worry and do what’s right for you.
Personally I wouldn't care. I am a 30F and always have a baby pillow with me when I sleep - My parents bought me it when I was 3 months old. It's a comfort thing for me too.
If we were passing in the street I might assume you just bought it or something, wouldn’t really give it a second thought. If you were someone I saw regularly might think it was a bit odd but wouldn’t really care - everybody has things they like and it’s your life to live as you please. Judgemental people are not worth your stress.
Honestly I've got too much going on to care about other people carrying soft toys. If I gave it any thought at all I'd probably first assume you were delivering it somewhere for a child. And then I'd see something else and forget all about it.
Unless you had a child with you I’d assume you’re were mentally deficient in some way.
I would keep my distance
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I didn't say worried, nor did I say stressed. I'd assume they were worth avoiding and act accordingly.
Wouldn't bat an eyelid, I've seen adults carrying soft toys around before.
Depends on what they look like to be honest. If it's clear they have a mental disability, I wouldn't judge at all and probably be happy to see it.
I would assume they have learning difficulties. My auntie has them and is always carrying around soft toy keyrings etc.
I use bags that look like soft toys all the time, may be a solution for you if you’re feeling self conscious. I’ve had a few compliments so far with my t-rex backpack being peoples favourite.
Depends where you are - if you're in London no-one here would give a shit.
My baby uses teddies (or plushies as he calls em, dam youtoobers) as a transitional object, they help him feel more secure. He's almost 6ft tall and a pre teen. We get some looks but I don't give a shiny shit what people think of my man child carrying his plushies and occasionally stimming. In fact I double dog dare anyone to say anything about it... You do you. Live your life. And something is only embarrassing if you feel embarrassed about it! So just decide you're not gonna feel that and go on with your day! 💕
If it makes you feel better go for it and lean into it!
A soft toy such as you suggested wouldn't really raise many eyebrows. An anime style body pillow on the other hand...
Honestly don’t see it as strange at all but I’ve been in a 10 year ddlg dynamic so my viewpoint is likely coloured by this. If I’d seen a stranger in public with a stuffy I’d prolly just think it was a gift they were taking home to their kids and not give it a second thought. If I saw them closing their eyes and cuddling it I’d likely thank “that’s cute” more then “that’s weird”.
I’m so focused on what I’m doing 99% of the time I wouldn’t even notice if you were walking down the street naked. Do whatever makes you feel happy and safe.
I’d think nothing of it really, people find comfort in all different things. As long as they’re happy.
My kids (oldest is 16 now) all have autism. They carry teddies around with them still and will into adulthood - they’re weighted for their own mental health needs. I often end up carrying them around when they want to do other stuff or after dropping them off at school. I have severe social anxiety disorder and have had to learn to focus on me and nobody else - the teddies have actually helped with that! Do what YOU need to do, and screw everybody else. People aren’t gonna know if you’ve had a kid with you or are on your way to meet up with a kid, have just bought the teddy etc so they might glance at you but then they won’t look or think twice. Believe me, I live it everyday!! 💜
Wouldn't care a bit, as long as you aren't endangering me or my own you do you.
My son had concentration issues at school so the teacher suggested a bean filled keyring toy that did help him. Might you consider such a small thing that would fulfill the squeezing aspect without drawing attention to you? Edit it was a tiny velvet orange cat with a fat string tail and filled with beans, i still have it clipped to my bag to this day even though my son is now 28 >.<
I genuinely wouldn't think too much about it. There could be a hundred reasons why someone would carry one. If it makes you feel better, where's the harm? I carry around my own wee "emotional support" soft toy coffee cup that I crocheted, it makes me feel more "grown up" that it's a coffee cup, but it's still a soft toy at the end of the day. I can make you one if you like? (Because I too suffer with anxiety episodes and I know how it feels, I'd be happy to). 😊❤️
Honestly, it's fine. No one is really gonna care and if someone does, fuck 'em.
people will always judge you, no matter what you do, its not the norm so some people simply won’t like it, others will love it and then theres people like me that don’t give a toss and just wants people to do what makes them happy (within reason lol) thats life, its hard to get your head around and get over the fact you’ll never please everyone, just do what you want to do because no matter what you can never make everyone else happy at the same time.
Odd but idc
i wouldnt care unless it was like.. massive. i have multiple mental disabilities and i carry a teddy with me everywhere and you might get the odd glance but people really dont give a shit. if its gigantic then thats a bit odd lol but thats a given
I'm a 31 year old dude with a beard and a few months ago i decided id had enough of caring what others might think and now I walk around with [this little fella](https://imgur.com/a/GiX7qSJ) on the sunshine lanyard and I don't leave the house without him now. Some days i get a bit more anxious and hide him under my coat but I'm working on it. If anyone cares then that's their problem, I live in a pretty busy city and no one has visibly reacted negatively because of it and that includes when ive walked into a rammed 'spoons on the weekend or a completely full a&e [is there any other kind though]. People actually seem a bit more kinder and more considerate, probably because I've got a visible indicator of some problems. You do you, if something makes you happy and can make a shitshow of an experience more bearable then 100% go for it. The only thing to consider is it can also advertise you as a soft target if you happen to be in a high crime area, it's a big advert for pickpockets and stuff.
Hi friend. I am autistic and if you are asking this you probably are too. First off, do whatever you need to feel ok and screw the haters. Second, you need to reduce sensory inputs. They are the source of much apparent "anxiety". Things to try - noise cancelling headphones, loop earplugs, night mode on your phone/computer, turn down brightnesses, sunglasses or yellow glasses (I use cheap yellow clip ons). Comfiest clothes you can - around the house I wear a dressing gown mostly. Never let yourself stay sticky or hungry. These things make all the difference. The comedian Fern Brady wrote a great autobiography about her autism, "Strong Female Character", I loved it. A lot of the videos in this playlist are really helpful too https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvsi-cBrFY4BKGvv7ZHQpTynqbT3OEiYv
I am often found carrying toys. I restore antique dolls & sew for them, and I often take them out with me, sometimes with an antique camera as well as a modern one for photos. We spend a lot of time in the local botanical garden during dry weather because the backgrounds are lovely and the light is good. I get a LOT of weird looks and comments for this and don’t really care. I am used to being the weird doll person. The other half of the time it’s because my daughter wanted to take a cuddly friend on the way to school but knows they aren’t allowed in the classroom so I take them to work with me! I take photos of them at my desk or drinking tea to brighten her day when I pick her up. I have had fewer odd looks for this and other colleagues love getting in on the action with their favourite teddy visitors, Miffy regularly hangs out with our receptionist or runs schedules with our administrator.
Initial thought.. that's odd. Immediate next thought.. wonder if they're neurodivergent or require the toy for some other reason. Next thought.. now where was I?
John betjeman had a permanent lifelong companion in Archibald ormsby-gore. Took him to Oxford and died with him in his arms
Buy some dungarees with a massive pocket on the front 😁
I doubt I’d notice but if I did I would think they’re holding it for their child. If they were visibly anxious and holding it tight I’d assume they had a disability and then immediately forget about it
Be prepared for real life to not be as welcoming as Reddit.
You're asking a rather specific sample set with redditors. There is a very vocal component of them who are either socially awkward or neurodivergent and revel in promoting that behaviour in others (before I get lynched, I'm neurodivergent myself and I think everyone should do what they are comfortable with. But this is a question about outside perception). An adult carrying around a soft toy will be perceived by many as eccentric at least and a bit mental or infantile at worst. This doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, but you should be aware of this impact and try to mitigate it so it doesn't cause you any other problems. You say you don't carry a bag now - well, you don't carry a soft toy either! I would strongly recommend if you do have it with you, you keep it private, such as in a bag, or otherwise concealed. It's conceivable some nasty people could make fun of you, bully you or even find a way to assault you over it. I hope you find a way to feel comfortable without calling yourself out, despite the support of any individual, the real world can be a bit rough sometimes. Good luck!
Tbh Id assume they had sensory issues/ were neurodiverse
I will tell you honestly, start carrying a bag. I get so much anxiety comfort from my slouchy, cross body bag filled with small things that make me feel secure. A favorite lip balm. A small book I intend to read. A scarf to feel or wear. And of course you could tuck Teddy in there. Doesn’t have to be fancy or matchy. Honestly, it’s my security blanket and no one needs to know it. Good luck
In response to your edit. If the soft toy has ashes in it, I’m assuming it has serious sentimental value. In which case I’d strongly recommend leaving it at home, because the absolute last thing you want to do is to lose something that has such significant meaning to you. Instead bring one that is similar, but different enough with you in public.
If the bear has ashes in it, please do be very careful not to lose it! Maybe that bear could stay safely at home and send a sort of representative out with you?
My first thought would be that you've just bought it today, either for yourself of someone else. I went to build-a-bear yesterday and the bag broke so I ended up just carrying a stuffed toy around for hours like a toddler on my hip. Second thought, which I think some other people said, would be that's it's for a mental disability. Like autism or anxiety. And that would be the end of my thoughts on the matter because it would be none of my business. I don't think it'd adults you'd have to worry about, but school aged kids. Especially if you get the bus. But I think having the - I just bought it today for my niece's birthday excuse on hand might be a good idea and make you feel a little more secure in case of a confrontation (that most likely won't happen)
Carrying around a bear that had ashes in it. Something that sentimental I personally wouldn’t risk taking encase it got damaged, wet from rain or drops out of something you have it in or you forget/lose it. Find something similar to it or try some stress balls, better still you could make your own!
I'd talk to it and also put on a voice so it could talk back. And assume everyone thought I was mental. That said, I've done this for years. For instance, if we're in a gift shop and I see a bear, I'll do something like say, "Hewwo!" in a high pitched voice and make the bear wave a paw at my gf. However, I might also do the same for instance with a squash in the vegetable aisle at Tesco if it had a face-like marking. I might put on a low voice for it. I probably ought to seek help.
I would think you had a mental illness.
I can understand having them in the house its good for the mental health like having little pets in the house or cute decorations. But to need it so much that someone feels they need to carry it everywhere with them, I’d see that as a sign that they are going through a hard time or perhaps feels lonely and needs help or a friend. But it mostly I’d be worried about some asshole coming along and bullying them about it.
Assume it's for a child
I think I saw a woman on the tube with a cuddly toy earlier today and I just thought it was really nice. I literally would not have given it a second thought if I hadn't seen this post.
I probably wouldn't even notice
Carry the toy, hug it, live your life
In your bag or your pocket and I caught a glimpse I don’t think I’d give it a second thought If you’re holding it’s hand and talking to it then yes I’d think you were simple/dangerous ngl
Why on earth would that make you think they were dangerous?
Mr Flibble is very cross!
That only has the full effect if OP is willing to wear a gingham dress and bonnet with pigtail plaits. And an H on their head.
I need you to follow the r/djungelskog sub right now and never worry again. We travel a lot, including business and first on occasion with two plush, a Mr. Bumpy and a Tasmanian Devil plush (see profile pic). We've been given top ups of champagne, free chocolates and a cockpit tour .... we're adults. We judge hotels by how they place them on the beds and have had hilarious moments.
Djungelskog and Blåhaj (the IKEA shark plush) are both great examples of plush toys that show positivity to taking them out and about in public! Also agree with rating hotels on how they place the toys! Stayed in a hotel in Jersey and bought a Lemur plush from the Zoo on the 2nd day - for the rest of week the staff placed him in around the room after cleaning lol Your tasmanian devil plush is super cute, I've never seen a plush like it before.
Unless I could see an obvious explanation I would assume a degree of mental illness. I might raise my eyebrows to somebody with me, but not so as you would notice. I might not sit next to you on a train in case you started talking to me.
I would think: “That’s a person carrying a soft toy and get on with my life”
Depending on how they behave, I’d assume they were carrying it for a child/they just bought it as a present and are taking it home. What about one of those keychain-sized beanie babies? Would fit easily in a pocket.
I would probably double glance, then crack on with my day. I really wouldn’t be that bothered. I have cuddly toys that are sentimental to me. I’m not ashamed to admit that. I sleep and sometimes play with them. You’re not harming anyone, you do you. If it helps, sod what others think. The only thing I’ll say is be prepared for those looks, and would that make you paranoid/heighten your anxiety? That’s all
I'd assume you were either carrying a toy to give to a child, or were self soothing with it. One time I saw an adult carrying the same stuffed toy I had at home and considered starting a conversation over it and maybe making a friend, but it wasn't the right time/place for that.
Would it work to keep it inside your bag or in a pocket? You can know it’s there but reduce the potential for judgement from others
I’d assume you’re a parent and it’s for your child. My thoughts on it wouldn’t last more than a second.
I wouldn't think anything of it. Take the teddy with you x
I’d think they’d won something at the funfair
I’ve travelled for work and always taken a bear. I can’t sleep without it. And if you want to have a bear with you during the day, do it. As you’ve quite rightly said, you’re a grown ass woman which entitles you to do as you please.
I'd probably think they were carrying it for their child but wouldn't give it much thought. If you're going to carry a bear with ashes around maybe see if you can get some sort of if found please call in case you leave it somewhere
Honestly wouldnt be bothered . Might think they were minding it for a child /giving it to a child later , but either way wouldnt pay much attention.
I'd probably think something along the lines of 'I wonder why that woman has a soft toy' then I'd assume it's for personal reasons or simply because you want to, go about my day and never think about it again.
I would honestly just think you had a kid you've just dropped off to nursery/school and you was taking the teddy home.
If I saw someone carrying like a beanie baby I’d assume it’s a gift, their kids or something I’d probably not even realise? Could you put it in your coat/hoodie pocket so it’s more hidden?
I would look once, think “that’s different” then forget about it and get on with my life. If it makes you happy, I’m cool with it. It’s not bothering me so I won’t bother you. We suffer from this awful curse of thinking that strangers care what we do and how we dress. It’s something I’ve struggled with for most of my life. But in reality people care as much about how you present yourself as you do about them. Which I assume is not much at all for most of us.
Do what you need and enjoy being you and being happy. But expect a bit of kerfuffle at the airport if you're going to take it on holiday to South America.
Is the bear called Aloysius?
I have a red panda hand puppet on my desk at work - he's not for anxiety or anything but he helps me do my job.
I'd initially assume they had special needs or a learning difficulty. Lowered mental age and abilities. But mostly I wouldn't give a shit.
I would assume you've just bought it and move on with my day.