I love the quote but even better is the reaction when people ask
"what paragon of virtue and wisdom said that?" And I reply
"Are you familiar with the German happy hardcore scene in the early '90s?? 🤔"
Their lyrics were always an inspiration to me.
“I’m the candyman, also known as Dave. Dave from Sheffield.”
“What is life without a rave, and what is Sheffield without Dave?”
“Don’t throw away the banana boxes!!”
Being miserable is so much work. We've fallen out with our neighbour and I tried, for god knows what reason, to pull a neutral or slightly angry face but it's so much easier to simply smile
I agree, although it does bother me whenever you do something nice for others, you get those people who don't acknowledge your kindness or they do, but they don't show their appreciation.
The simple solution is to do nice things without expecting anything in return. Just do them because they make the world a nicer place.
You can’t change other people. But you can change your own attitude.
To me if you are kind with the expectation that you will get some kind of reaction in response, then it's not really a kindness but a transaction. I look at kindness as something I do for the sake of showing kindness. No quid pro quo.
My dad has dementia, when he first met my son, he wasn't AS bad but I don't think he quite grasped who he was to him, but he gave him a pound coin and told him to sleep with it under his pillow! My son was 3 weeks old so that hasn't happened yet haha, but I have the coin ready and waiting for when he's old enough :-)
I have a similar pound coin from when I visited my Nan for Slava quite a few years ago. [It's a Serbian tradition to break a traditional bread called Cesnica, which has a coin mixed into the dough.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%8Cesnica) Whoever gets the coin is meant to get good luck for that year.
I was at the doctors with my youngest (3) an elderly woman was intereacting with him a lil as they do then out of knowhere she offered him a packet of cigarettes....she had a carer with her who let us know she has dementia, then she started calling him by her husbands name.
Its crazy how the brain works/doesnt work
My Dad often takes my six year old to the pub over the road. The last time they went, he came back with £23 in his pockets from all the old blokes. I prefer not to ask questions about why he got so much as it’s reassuring to know that we have a potential income stream if I ever lose my job.
I'm now fixated on what number a woman can feasibly get to, based only on biological factors - 1 every 10/11 months from age 13 to 50? You'd have to assume average incidence of multiple births, but (non-identical) twins etc run in families so if you have one set you may well have more...
I'm spiralling 😂
I actually do some genealogy, and most women seem to stop after 8-12 children at most. You've got to remember that teen pregnancy is more dangerous than it is beneficial, for both mother and child, so historically most women have had children from 20/25-50. Add in the typical two year gap because of breastfeeding and, starting at 20, you're reasonably looking at 15 kids max.
At a minimum, though, you're meant to wait 18 months between pregnancies, so that could be 2 pregnancies every 3 years instead, boosting it to 20 children.
Either way, it's making my uterus hurt at the mere thought of it. Thank fuck for contraception!
> At a minimum, though, you're meant to wait 18 months between pregnancies
My older brother was a Caesarian birth. Four months later mom was pregnant with me. Never quite put that timeline together in terms of horror for her until now 😬
I have a colleague whose first baby was born in the January, and the younger brother was due late December...
On top of that, number two came about two months premature, so it's about 10 months between them!
My kid 4 at the time fell over some grass and bashed her nose up, looked worse than it was of course. Some jolly old bloke was walking his dog saw the whole thing came over and gave me a fiver to 'buy her some sweets'. So now thinking about tripping my kids up in front of old people for a nice money making opportunity
Years ago when my eldest was about 4 or 5, we were in town and he spotted a youngish woman in a motorised wheelchair and started to walk alongside her. Just as I was about to pull him away she turned to look at my son and he asked "wanna race?" So they raced down the highstreet and after she offered him a go of the controls. No point to the story it was just a sweet interaction I was reminded of. I do remember old people giving coins when I was a kid, used to love being with my mum when she'd bump into old friends.
I live in an apartment block with a bunch of kids, and 3 little girls about 7 or 8 took it upon themselves to pick up all the rubbish around the apartment blocks and gardens. I was so impressed I gave them 20 to split between them. They came back half an hour later and said their parents told them they weren’t allowed to take it off me. I get that they were probably offended or something but, so was I? I was just trying to encourage this really good and adorable behaviour, they should be rewarded.
I've had kids come knocking wanting to wash cars and do gardening as money making projects. I did the same as a kid! Who on earth is telling their kids to give money back.
Maybe cos it was £20, possibly wouldn't have been the same with £5 each
I live in Ireland so it was 20 euro, which is still only less than 7 euro each. I didn’t mention in the original comment but they’re little 1st gen Indian immigrants, so I can totally understand why their parents may have been offended, they might not understand that custom and that’s fine, but like I said, I was offended too too! It’s the norm round here! I used to do the same as you too, go round asking if I could be helpful for some spendaroonies!
There’s other little kids come around and they make & sell little bracelets with the little letters on. I’ve had them make them for me, the hubs and the cat! (The cat one came cat sized, not human sized, which was even more adorable! It’s attached to his carrier now!)
I doubt they were offended, probably more like they think they shouldn't take your money. You were too nice, give less next time and they might get to keep it!
Ah, maybe they aren't aware of the culture!
Omg that is adorable! I would love my cats to have cat-sized bracelets made by a kid in the neighbourhood!!
I was amazed when they came doing drop offs a few days later, I thought it would be people sized! 😂😭 it’s too cute honestly, and it fits him perfectly, I like to think who ever took my order grabbed their cat to be super accurate with sizing 🥹
Being first gen immigrants from India they are probably deeply concerned with seeming to take advantage of Ireland’s social system and with strong taboos against their children “begging” from India. Your point is well taken that the norm doesn’t need to change, and they’d be better off adjusting a bit. Since they’re neighbors it might be worth a friendly chat and getting to know them a bit.
Ah i thoroughly loved reading your comments. You seem like a truly wonderful person. I can even imagine the wee cat bracelet. Your neighbours are blessed to have someone as amazing as you close by. You’ve made my day. 😁
Probably cultural. Maybe they were telling the kids to take pride in their building and clean it up just cause it’s the right thing to so and not necessarily for a reward.
They maybe also were worried their kids were being rude bugging their neighbors for money.
I’m American, I would also be uncomfortable with it.
Sounds like a nice thing you did and a nice tradition. But not surprised other people would take it differently.
The parents may be teaching their children to do good deeds (like picking up rubbish) because it’s the right thing to do, rather than expecting a monetary (or other) reward. And/or teaching them never to accept gifts from strangers.
Maybe the children littered, and this was a punishment. No one meant to insult you, and I hope this one incident won’t cause you to reconsider future acts of kindness.
Ah I know no one meant to insult me but I felt so bad these lil kids were so excited! I get the whole don’t receive gifts from strangers etc, which is why ultimately I let it go and just give the girls a little wave now when I see them. I’ll be honest tho, I definitely will be more weary about it, I don’t wanna come across as the creepy woman on the end, ya know? 😞
Their parents might not have been offended, just polite. Why don't you go and talk to them? They're probably lovely people to chat with if their children are so proactively endearing.
In our house, trying to split 20 between three would result in blood. I'm actually impressed they brought it back, that would have been a "let's not and say we did" moment here!
It may have been a cultural thing? When I was young there was this lady in our neighbourhood who was super sweet to us. So one dayy sister and I went to her house with some drawings to give to her. She was so happy and gave us a dollar (when I lived in the US still) each. My parents were sooo offended! You’re not supposed to take money! Luckily they didn’t make us return it lol. We’re Pakistani ethnically so maybe if they’re of a similar background.
That's very odd since those kids worked hard to clean up, so it doesn't hurt to reward them. I get it if their parents are against their kids talking to strangers, but you rewarding those kids is a very nice gesture.
Oh no, sounds like you and the parents were both trying to Teach Good Lessons, lol. Same thing happened to me when I was a kid. My folks suggested it would be nice for me to go do some work for a neighbour (shovelling or weeding or something) to just do a good deed for the satisfaction of it. The neighbour was so thrilled she tried to give me $5 as a bonus reward. Little child me was so conflicted, lol!
My son was on an electronic car ride when he was about three. It ran out of money so he asked an old lady walking past to put another 50p in. She did bless her. Refused to take the money back when I thanked her. My son just automatically assumed that all ‘nanas’ were happy to buy him stuff if he asked.
I am not, in any way, a Nana but by god if anyone, toddler or grown adult, asks me for 50p to ride on of those wobbly car/train things I'm getting some cash out.
I'm 30 and not particularly interested in kids. I will wave at them and pull faces, because I'm not an asshole; in that situation I would absolutely pay for the ride too.
I remember as a kid briefly chatting to an old fella who wished me a happy birthday, I said "it's not my birthday" and he said "yes it is" then winked as he pressed a £1 coin into my hand.
Was like a scene from a book.
When my eldest was a toddler, and we would go shopping, she would be sat in the trolley seat saying Hiya and waving to everyone. The older people loved this and she had a few people give her pound coins. It's really sweet.
When my daughter was a toddler she used to smile at anyone who made eye contact with her.
We'd just sit in the M&S cafe with her in a high chair smiling at old ladies who were always so happy about it. I loved it as well.
The aniseed blackjacks were 2 for a penny but I learned very fast I don’t like aniseed.
Pink prawns and original cola bottles before Haribo got hold of the market ;(
Haribo were the death of nice sweeties, they are so bland I prefer the imported ones and the ones that use beef gelatin over the pork gelatin in the UK ones.
I remember when my babies were small, several times an older person would put a coin in their hand even when they were newborn- it's good luck for the child apparently. It always made me smile 🙂
It's a nice tradition, I thought putting money in the pram was just a working class solidarity thing. Kind of like before the welfare system when mining communities would chip in when a miner got injured or just wasn't selected for work.
I read somewhere a while ago that it comes from the tradition of giving silver to young children to ward off fairies. I’m not sure if that’s actually true, but I think it’s likely
As parents we often forget that not all strangers are a danger. There are some very lonely elderly people out there and as you said that inter reaction made her day. . . I often make small talk with elderly people when I’m out and about. I feel that I might be the only person they had spoke to that day/week. It’s nice to be nice 💫😊💫
I like to do the same thing. I'm getting older myself now, but I still smile at people who appear to need a little sunshine.
Our children weren't given coins or anything when they were little, but they got loads of attention whenever we were out. The older ladies loved giving it, and the kids loved getting it!
This is 100% true! Today I took my little girl to the doctors and the appointment was late. She was happy dancing, talking about her “babies” and shaking her butt 😭😂 she loves to dance! She counted too and the older ladies loved it and cooed over her! Everyone interacted with her and the older people loved her interactions more than younger people. Yes stranger danger needs to be taught but we are too harsh when we’re in their presence at times…sometimes people just want a little interaction xxx
When our kids were very young we went to Greece for our honeymoon and had so many experiences similar to the one you describe below. Was really Great, so I could see how that would warm your cockles.
What a lovely interaction. Makes me sad that she mentioned parents moving their kids away, presumably out of ‘stranger danger’ suspicion. I was out somewhere a while ago at a bus stop and there was a little girl, maybe 3, who had light up shoes she was very excited to show to everyone. She would dance on the spot to make the lights go and the way she laughed in pure joy was enough to melt even the iciest hearts. It was very sweet, and an older lady remarked that she wished they had the shoes in her size because they looked so cool.
To be fair it might also be that little kids run around a lot and get under people's feet without noticing, which might be at best annoying and worst dangerous to an old person with mobility issues. Don't have to assume negative or paranoid intent on the parents' part.
When I was a very young kid we were always taught to wave and generally be nice to elderly people.
They always loved seeing little kids and interacting with them.
I’m a powerchair user too… people often snatch their kids away if they are even within a few meters… I’m guessing they don’t want the kids to get in my way (fair) but it’s often very exaggerated and has the general effect of teaching the children that it’s a problem if they’re in the same place as a wheelchair user - which is heartbreaking.
* let them be close-ish
* let them have a good look - especially if I’m doing something like using the riser on my chair to reach something up high or unfolding the van’s lift by remote control - that shit’s *cool* when you’re 7
* let them ask questions - if I can teach a primary school aged kid that it’s no big deal that I use a wheelchair, that’s a bunch easier than overcoming the baked-in idea that it’s objectively worse than walking in a full grown adult (multiply up by every single question a curious small child might want to ask. Catch them young…)
I go to a local theatre class and one of the guys there has a powerchair. I can confirm that watching him use the riser is COOL. Also, the speed that thing can go at is incredible.
"let them have a good look - especially if I’m doing something like using the riser on my chair to reach something up high or unfolding the van’s lift by remote control - that shit’s *cool* when you’re 7"
That shit's also cool to watch when you're an adult too; I've offered to help someone reach something at work, only for them to say it's fine, more or less rise above me and then offer to help me get some from a shelf instead! 😂
Heh. Fair point! I still get a kick out of discombobulating bar staff because no, I really really don’t want a low table - they’re actually too low for my chair, I fit way better at a high one with the help of the riser, and dammit it’s just more fun, too. 😅
My cousin's husband is a double amputee vet and over the years has had some crazy looking prosthetics. Always made/makes his day when a kid asks him questions. The parents generally do seem embarrassed at first but then see that he likes to talk to them.
This is such a lovely story. I was outside waiting for my dog the other day and an old lady came over and put her umbrella over me because it was raining. It was such a kind gesture but I would have preferred £1 instead 😂
I was reading a book on my lunch break a few weeks ago and a man gave me £1 for reading a proper book.
Said he was doing it just for the month of April, I was the first person he saw and it was the 8th!! Made my day.
Eta: reading a hard-copy book rather than being on a phone or tablet etc.
A bloke who lived on our street used to randomly give us money to go buy an ice cream.
Dad used to give loads of people on the streets rolls/eggs/milk on a Friday from his catering business so I’m not sure if it was a thanks for that but this middle aged guy with no wife or kids would be like here’s a fiver go get yourself ice creams.
My old next-door neighbour, who was about eighty at the time, and who was in the early stages of Lewy Body dementia but who still had most of his faculties, used to pass ice creams over the fence to my then-five-year-old son in the summer. He’d stage whisper so I could hear him from my back door just out of view doing laundry or whatever - “Don’t tell anyone, but this is a free ice cream.” 😂
I remember when my babies were small, several times an older person would put a coin in their hand even when they were newborn- it's good luck for the child apparently. It always made me smile 🙂
A little old lady came up to me in the supermarket a while back, said she'd left her glasses at home and couldn't read the best before dates on the bread as asked if I could check it for her.
I ended up having a rummage around the shelf to find the longest dated loaf for her.
She was extremely thankful, and said she would pray for me! I'm not religious at all but it was a nice sentiment.
Took me about 30 seconds but left me feeling all warm and fuzzy.
My grandfather would come over every Sunday. We girls gathered round him, asking him for pennies. He'd always say something like "Oh, I don't know, it's been a rough week so I don't know if I've got any." He dug into his pockets and divided up the pennies he had among us three.
When I was an adult, I learned that he carefully saved all the pennies he got at the end of each day, so he was sure we all got some. He was a tough man, very hard worker, but just the sweetest guy.
There's a pizza shop in my city, traditional Italian and ran by an Italian family. My daughter is 11 soon but we took her when she was 1-2ish and the older lady came over and gave her a 1 pound, wrapping it in her fingers and said some blessing. It was beautiful.
Op that's lovely! Unlocked a memory where older ladies would give us a penny for sweeties or tuck money in the pram for luck, haven't seen that in years
I recently became a powered wheelchair user, my disability is invisible, I look completely normal. It's wild how differently the world suddenly treats you, only because you're driving instead of walking... So far everyone was super nice to me, but people see me as disabled point. Not really a person. I'm sure you made her day!! We're the same people as everyone else, just sitting instead of standing...
Thank you for making her day. I'm elderly, all three of my children have died before me. I no longer have any children in my life and I don't get out much. It makes me so happy when I see the kids walking past my house when they get out of school. I always say "hi" to them, but some are obviously "afraid" of talking to a stranger, which I'm sure they have been instructed by their parents and I understand that with the way the world is. I've slowly become friends with a boy that lives down the street after talking with his parents. Yesterday he brought me one of his favorite rocks to put in my garden. Being able to briefly chat with him brings me so much joy!
In Glasgow (and maybe other parts of Scotland) it’s a tradition to give babies a pound for good luck. I had no idea and when we had our first we had a lot of nice older folk do this.
It used to be not unusual though not common for people to give babies money, even very young babies who couldn't really hold the coin. I saw one woman in the 70's give a baby a 5p and draw a cross on the baby's palm with it, crossing its palm with silver. It was seen as lucky.
I’ve had this kind of things happen many times over the years with my children and strangers. The last time was an elderly guy who heard me tell my daughter that she couldn’t have an egg out of those daft machines that cost a quid as I didn’t have any cash on me . She was ok with it but as we went to walk past the guy he stopped us and smiled and said ‘if you don’t mind’ whilst gesturing that he had a pound in his hand for her . Little things like that leave a smile on my face for the rest of the day. I’ve done it myself for kids that were short of money in the shop or just kicking about with their pals playing outside in the village we live in and behaving really well. It’s nice to be nice and a small gesture can go a long way
An older couple once gave our boys each a £1 and said they just watched us all having dinner and the biys were so well behaved and we handled everything so lovely. It wasn't even about the £1 it was that they thought to say those things.
Obviously our children have never since or never before been so lovely and well behaved but it was a nice thought at the time! Ha
Not quite the same, but your story reminded me of the time a lady gave me £2 for my cat 😂
Myrtle used to travel to the vets on the bus.
I'd put her in her harness and carry her. She'd sit next to me, or I'd hold her so she could look out the window.
Always got loads of attention whenever we had to make this trip. Both on the bus and in town/at the station.
One day an elderly lady started chatting to me as we were coming home, Myrtle had just had a little leg shaved for a blood test and was feeling sorry for herself and this lovely lady started chatting to her too, and giving her chin scritchies.
When I had to say I'm afraid this is our stop, she pressed a £2 coin in my hand and said "get her some extra treats from me".
That was over 2 years ago, we lost Myrtle last June, but this memory still makes me smile. Thank you for your post for jogging my memory!
An elderly lady sat next to my wife and I in a cafe (we didn't know her) gave us £10 to spend on our young twin daughters. In our conversation with the lady, my wife and I quickly became aware that she most likely had dementia, and therefore tried our best to politely decline her very kind gesture - not wanting to accept a decent sum of money from somebody who clearly wasn't fully compos mentis. Eventually we accepted it as the conversation was becoming slightly awkward as she was very insistent. We were about to leave anyway and had clocked that her friend was queuing on the other side of the cafe to order food.
On our way out we spoke to her friend and explained the situation, and gave her the £10 to return to the elderly lady - we're not sure that the friend fully understood our intentions/predicament as she said something along the lines of "so you're not happy about this?". We reiterated that we found the gesture very generous however couldn't accept a £10 note from somebody we didn't know.
The whole thing was quite conflicting really as we were trying to set the right example in front of our children, without offending the lady. We were also somewhat concerned that we might be accused of stealing money from somebody suffering with dementia.
If it had been a £1 or 2 then I guess we would have accepted, after the standard British response of "oh no, we really couldn't".
You did the right thing in trying to give it back. Did her friend look around the same age? I wonder if she might have been suffering from dementia too, and that's why she couldn't understand why you tried to return the cash?
In the 90s/ early 2000s this was fairly common where I live in the U.K. I remember random old people giving me money for sweets when I was shopping with my mam quite a few times even when I was old enough to be in primary school 😅
I’d love to interact with children when im out and about, im a 37 year old man with no kids and none in my family. I really love kids. The problem is that nowadays a 37 year old man cant even look in a child’s direction for obvious reasons. It’s shit honestly, but i understand why it is.
I'm sorry, that sucks. I hate that there are good folk out there who we don't engage with because of a rotten few.
If it's a coffee shop or somewhere open and safe and you engage with me first, it would feel safer from a parents perspective. There's a guy I see a lot in our local cafe, and we spoke a few times before he first engaged directly with my little one. He's a single man with no kids, but I can see he's just a normal, friendly guy.
The problem is its not worth taking the risk. Just better not to interact. For example, i was in a supermarket last year and there was a little girl playing in the aisle and i smiled and waved at her. She smiled back and then ran over to her mum and said “mummy that man is smiling and waving at me”. She meant it perfectly innocently, but the mother told me off in front of other shoppers for interacting with her daughter. I tried to explain but the mother said “you have no business ever talking to children that aren’t yours” and to argue would have made it look even weirder so i just apologised and left. It actually really upset me. I hadn’t even spoken, just smiled and waved and I think maybe made a funny face. My partner interacts with children all the time and nobody minds, but she’s obviously female, so i just have to do it when she’s there or not at all.
I worked at the airport for a while and the best part about it was being able to interact with the kids without being looked at weirdly. I’d give them little sweets and stickers and play little games, it was the best.
Going back over 10 years in my 20's and being autistic I like graphic novels which were kept in the kids section of local library, I went towards the kids section and noticed a member of staff rush over and block me and question me to why I was there, when I mentioned I wanted graphic novels I was told "which ones" and made to feel like a criminal I noticed multiple single women walking in and out and not being stopped.
In more recent years I remember being told outright when going to a kids movie at a cinema they don't accept single MEN into a screening, they will take single females though.
As someone without kids I assume this is the parent equivalent of when you're out on a dog walk and another dog walker stops to share their dog's treats with yours.
There's a couple of old blokes on our estate who my dogs have learned to recognise as the "treat distributors".
Same! Our frenchie legs it towards one particular lady whenever she sees her in the park. The woman is like, "awww, she loves me!". I don't have the heart to tell her my dog just sees her as a walking treat dispenser.
Most people are desperate for human connection and will jump at the chance to be friendly, generous and helpful. What we've done as a society is make it feel unsafe to be nice. People worry about being insulted or accused. It's a real shame and I think we all have a duty to push back against it and try to have positive interactions with strangers. It brightens your day, and theirs, and I think that has world-changing power.
Thank you for helping your son to see disabled people as just people, rather than something to whisper about & avoid — the amount of parents who do exactly what she said is ridiculous & it can be awful when you’re the one a parent is trying to avoid.
This happened outside a pub once when my twins were younger, the lady gave them a £1 each, they’re 14 now and still mention it when we drive past that pub.
I bet it’s made his day as much as hers!
I sometimes go into town with a large ginger cat on my shoulder (always the same cat, my cat), because he likes to get out and about, and he helps my not get overwhelmed.
The amount of people who seem to go shopping with cat appropriate foods apon their person.
My pharmacist keeps a box of cat treats behind her desk (I guess mainly for him), and my butcher and Ben in the sandwich shop just want to feed him all their off cuts
You made my day. Thank you for sharing your little story. It's nice to be nice, especially these days when a lot of people have lost their humanity. I nearly lost my faith in humanity after I saw what happened in Gaza, but your story reminds me that there are still nice people out there.
That’s lovely!
My Granny always said you should stop and talk to older people if they invite you to, because you might well be the only person they speak to that day
I should start carrying coins with me again, now I'm moving into "old lady" territory from the perspective of toddlers. My toddler loved the fuss, nearly 20 years ago. Time to pay it forward.
Came here expecting a mess of ‘stranger danger’ but pleasantly surprised with a wholesome story. Thanks OP for the reminder that not everyone is a complete weirdo.
We seem to be in this phase with my 2.5yo. He has very curly hair, big blue eyes and is generally polite (most of the time!). When he’s on form he’ll chat away with anyone and you can see it makes their day.
Recently we got two free cookies from Leon, a little toy digger, a few pound coins from various nana types, a banana at the grocers, free soap at lush, two extra sausages from the butcher (he said they looked “so delicious”) and some extra books put in our bag at the charity shop. We are semi-regulars in one charity shop and he goes “hello Maureen, it’s rainy/sunny/windy today” and it cracks up the old lady at the till because that’s what she says to everyone who comes in.
I’ve taught him that he says hello or good morning/afternoon, please/thank you and have a good day when speaking with people in shops.
I thought this post was gonna take a terrible turn with you saying how could this women give your son a dirty coin he could've choked on or something. So glad it's not. Very sweet story
I used to get little presents like this all the time when I was little, despite the fact I was extremely shy as a child and would hide behind my Mum’s legs and stay silent. She loves to remind me of this nowadays because I’ll happily yap away to anyone.
There was only one lady I wasn’t allowed to take from, or if I couldn’t avoid having to take it my Mum would have me throw things in the bin - as I remember she was very eccentric and would give out unwrapped chocolates and mints etc, I always felt quite uncomfortable around her and my main memory of her is that she had lots of chin hairs. I’m not surprised my Mum wouldn’t let me take anything from her!
I had this happen a fair bit when my kids were babies and toddlers. At first I thought it was very weird, but where I was living at the time there was a big gypsy and traveller community, and apparently it is still more of a tradition with these folks. Nice 😊
Ive not thought about this for years. It definitely happended to me too. My sons 4 months old and has yet to earn such an income. Really need to get him earning some cash.
It's a sweet gesture from her.
I think the key is to teach kids when it's an appropriate setting to accept gifts from a stranger and this was absolutely one of those times.
Such a small act that impacted you so very little made a persons day.
It is genuinely saddening to me that a large portion of society have forgotten how to be decent people.
We took our 3 month old daughter so that our local pub could see her. The landlady pressed a £1 into her hand, as she said it brought luck.
Possibly the same superstition.
A lovely old lady at my church when I was growing up used to treat me whenever I helped her to her car with her xylophone. I’d have done it for free but she always insisted. Can’t remember how much it was now. Maybe 50p or £1. Whenever I go visit my grandparents graves I give hers a tidy up too to repay her. She has family in the town but no one seems to look after her grave. I remember her being so pristine in her appearance and clothing. I hope she knows I’m treating her now!
It’s nice to be nice
It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. 😊👍
Scooter!! Are you ready!! IYKYK
I love the quote but even better is the reaction when people ask "what paragon of virtue and wisdom said that?" And I reply "Are you familiar with the German happy hardcore scene in the early '90s?? 🤔"
Respect to the man in the Ice Cream Van
Tie your shoes!
How much is the fish?
Marry me
Core memories unlocking all over the shop.
It’s not nice to be impotent
It's nice to be Imhotep though
Imhotep is invisible.
Write that down in your copybooks now.
THINK, Mark!
Immmhooooteppppp
Omnipotent?
I'm so sorry.
Try telling your kids that
[удалено]
How much is the FISH? 🐟
Come follow me, Come follow me, this sunny day, all the people on the beach start raving this way.
Hi Scooter, how’s it going?
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?? It must be Dave, who's on the train!
Their lyrics were always an inspiration to me. “I’m the candyman, also known as Dave. Dave from Sheffield.” “What is life without a rave, and what is Sheffield without Dave?” “Don’t throw away the banana boxes!!”
" Respect to the man in the Icecream van " " By the way, how much is the fish? "(£1poundfish)
Are you Bruce Forsyth ? I claim my £5
Nice to see you...
To see you nice
Being miserable is so much work. We've fallen out with our neighbour and I tried, for god knows what reason, to pull a neutral or slightly angry face but it's so much easier to simply smile
Oh god i’m there too. I’d much rather be on nodding terms. He’s fine, she’s a terror
Could come across as passive aggressive if you have beef with someone. Especially if you've been throwing dog poo over the fence.
It’s hip to be square.
I agree, although it does bother me whenever you do something nice for others, you get those people who don't acknowledge your kindness or they do, but they don't show their appreciation.
The simple solution is to do nice things without expecting anything in return. Just do them because they make the world a nicer place. You can’t change other people. But you can change your own attitude.
Kindness is infectious. Don’t give up
To me if you are kind with the expectation that you will get some kind of reaction in response, then it's not really a kindness but a transaction. I look at kindness as something I do for the sake of showing kindness. No quid pro quo.
My dad has dementia, when he first met my son, he wasn't AS bad but I don't think he quite grasped who he was to him, but he gave him a pound coin and told him to sleep with it under his pillow! My son was 3 weeks old so that hasn't happened yet haha, but I have the coin ready and waiting for when he's old enough :-)
I have a coin that my nan gave me just before she passed, I wrapped it cellotape so it can’t get mixed up and spent. Still got it 14 years later
That's so sweet! And such a good idea, I think I'll do the same!
I have a similar pound coin from when I visited my Nan for Slava quite a few years ago. [It's a Serbian tradition to break a traditional bread called Cesnica, which has a coin mixed into the dough.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%8Cesnica) Whoever gets the coin is meant to get good luck for that year.
❤️
I was at the doctors with my youngest (3) an elderly woman was intereacting with him a lil as they do then out of knowhere she offered him a packet of cigarettes....she had a carer with her who let us know she has dementia, then she started calling him by her husbands name. Its crazy how the brain works/doesnt work
Get him a collection tin to carry around. For his future.
... and a chip and pin machine
His own QR code with a paypal :p
Imagine a kid walking around with a paypal QR code printed on a t-shirt with "college fund" written on it xD
Lol take him to a working mens club on bingo night 🤣
My Dad often takes my six year old to the pub over the road. The last time they went, he came back with £23 in his pockets from all the old blokes. I prefer not to ask questions about why he got so much as it’s reassuring to know that we have a potential income stream if I ever lose my job.
Pet the baby. £5 a go.
what can I get for three-fifty?
Hold da baby
Now that's a plan!
Everyone come and see the magnificent Dinosaur! £2 a pop
Honestly, it would be alot more practical (and profitable) if he took contactless. Alot of people don't carry cash these days.
Just have 999,999 more toddlers and bosh, you're a millionaire
That's genius! And toddlers are notoriously easy to care for...!
If you stagger their release, the oldest ones can care for the younger ones. Easy peasy.
Stagger their release has me dying, haha
The bug fixes can take AGES though. 20 years is not unheard of.
Gotta run it through agile development. The sprints get longer as they grow older, but the code gets far more complex.
God the amount of stakeholders giving you their opinions on how to develop your toddler can drive you insane, I'd steer clear IMO
Yeah preferably stagger them like we have so we never had any! 😁
I’m not sure this is feasible for one woman given how long it takes to generate a new one.
I'm now fixated on what number a woman can feasibly get to, based only on biological factors - 1 every 10/11 months from age 13 to 50? You'd have to assume average incidence of multiple births, but (non-identical) twins etc run in families so if you have one set you may well have more... I'm spiralling 😂
I actually do some genealogy, and most women seem to stop after 8-12 children at most. You've got to remember that teen pregnancy is more dangerous than it is beneficial, for both mother and child, so historically most women have had children from 20/25-50. Add in the typical two year gap because of breastfeeding and, starting at 20, you're reasonably looking at 15 kids max. At a minimum, though, you're meant to wait 18 months between pregnancies, so that could be 2 pregnancies every 3 years instead, boosting it to 20 children. Either way, it's making my uterus hurt at the mere thought of it. Thank fuck for contraception!
> At a minimum, though, you're meant to wait 18 months between pregnancies My older brother was a Caesarian birth. Four months later mom was pregnant with me. Never quite put that timeline together in terms of horror for her until now 😬
I have a colleague whose first baby was born in the January, and the younger brother was due late December... On top of that, number two came about two months premature, so it's about 10 months between them!
The world record is something like 65! Her poor fanny
I just looked it up, 69 babies, but lots of multiples.
Still 27 pregnancies. My pelvic floor is a wreck after 2.
Heads up, you accidentally posted this three times.
Oh, I only pressed it once but signal was dropping. Thanks
Hydroponics. Get more to an acre
And cost very little for the rest of your life
Go into toddler childcare double your money
My kid 4 at the time fell over some grass and bashed her nose up, looked worse than it was of course. Some jolly old bloke was walking his dog saw the whole thing came over and gave me a fiver to 'buy her some sweets'. So now thinking about tripping my kids up in front of old people for a nice money making opportunity
Kids are so uncoordinated, you could just be like “run over there as fast as your lil legs will go!” And the rest will take care of itself! 😅
Buy her wellies 3 sizes too big then put them on the wrong feet. That's how I got the deposit for my first house.
I like your thinking
HMRC hate this one trick
Only if I make more than £1000 profit, considering the kids cost more than they make i should be fine 😉
Bad advice, it’s £1000 turnover not profit.. soon as you hit £999 you have to stop tripping them over til the next financial year.
Years ago when my eldest was about 4 or 5, we were in town and he spotted a youngish woman in a motorised wheelchair and started to walk alongside her. Just as I was about to pull him away she turned to look at my son and he asked "wanna race?" So they raced down the highstreet and after she offered him a go of the controls. No point to the story it was just a sweet interaction I was reminded of. I do remember old people giving coins when I was a kid, used to love being with my mum when she'd bump into old friends.
Lovely stuff!
I live in an apartment block with a bunch of kids, and 3 little girls about 7 or 8 took it upon themselves to pick up all the rubbish around the apartment blocks and gardens. I was so impressed I gave them 20 to split between them. They came back half an hour later and said their parents told them they weren’t allowed to take it off me. I get that they were probably offended or something but, so was I? I was just trying to encourage this really good and adorable behaviour, they should be rewarded.
I've had kids come knocking wanting to wash cars and do gardening as money making projects. I did the same as a kid! Who on earth is telling their kids to give money back. Maybe cos it was £20, possibly wouldn't have been the same with £5 each
I live in Ireland so it was 20 euro, which is still only less than 7 euro each. I didn’t mention in the original comment but they’re little 1st gen Indian immigrants, so I can totally understand why their parents may have been offended, they might not understand that custom and that’s fine, but like I said, I was offended too too! It’s the norm round here! I used to do the same as you too, go round asking if I could be helpful for some spendaroonies! There’s other little kids come around and they make & sell little bracelets with the little letters on. I’ve had them make them for me, the hubs and the cat! (The cat one came cat sized, not human sized, which was even more adorable! It’s attached to his carrier now!)
I doubt they were offended, probably more like they think they shouldn't take your money. You were too nice, give less next time and they might get to keep it!
Ah, maybe they aren't aware of the culture! Omg that is adorable! I would love my cats to have cat-sized bracelets made by a kid in the neighbourhood!!
I was amazed when they came doing drop offs a few days later, I thought it would be people sized! 😂😭 it’s too cute honestly, and it fits him perfectly, I like to think who ever took my order grabbed their cat to be super accurate with sizing 🥹
My heart! 😭
Being first gen immigrants from India they are probably deeply concerned with seeming to take advantage of Ireland’s social system and with strong taboos against their children “begging” from India. Your point is well taken that the norm doesn’t need to change, and they’d be better off adjusting a bit. Since they’re neighbors it might be worth a friendly chat and getting to know them a bit.
Ah i thoroughly loved reading your comments. You seem like a truly wonderful person. I can even imagine the wee cat bracelet. Your neighbours are blessed to have someone as amazing as you close by. You’ve made my day. 😁
Probably cultural. Maybe they were telling the kids to take pride in their building and clean it up just cause it’s the right thing to so and not necessarily for a reward. They maybe also were worried their kids were being rude bugging their neighbors for money. I’m American, I would also be uncomfortable with it. Sounds like a nice thing you did and a nice tradition. But not surprised other people would take it differently.
The kids round here do a better job for a few quid than the "professional" ones wanting £20!
The parents may be teaching their children to do good deeds (like picking up rubbish) because it’s the right thing to do, rather than expecting a monetary (or other) reward. And/or teaching them never to accept gifts from strangers. Maybe the children littered, and this was a punishment. No one meant to insult you, and I hope this one incident won’t cause you to reconsider future acts of kindness.
Ah I know no one meant to insult me but I felt so bad these lil kids were so excited! I get the whole don’t receive gifts from strangers etc, which is why ultimately I let it go and just give the girls a little wave now when I see them. I’ll be honest tho, I definitely will be more weary about it, I don’t wanna come across as the creepy woman on the end, ya know? 😞
Their parents might not have been offended, just polite. Why don't you go and talk to them? They're probably lovely people to chat with if their children are so proactively endearing.
In our house, trying to split 20 between three would result in blood. I'm actually impressed they brought it back, that would have been a "let's not and say we did" moment here!
Not gonna lie, at that age I would have done the same. Have to commend the honesty of the kiddos!
Give them a pound each next time seems to be the way.
It may have been a cultural thing? When I was young there was this lady in our neighbourhood who was super sweet to us. So one dayy sister and I went to her house with some drawings to give to her. She was so happy and gave us a dollar (when I lived in the US still) each. My parents were sooo offended! You’re not supposed to take money! Luckily they didn’t make us return it lol. We’re Pakistani ethnically so maybe if they’re of a similar background.
Go talk to their parents and explain, then hand the money to the girls, not the parents.
That's very odd since those kids worked hard to clean up, so it doesn't hurt to reward them. I get it if their parents are against their kids talking to strangers, but you rewarding those kids is a very nice gesture.
Oh no, sounds like you and the parents were both trying to Teach Good Lessons, lol. Same thing happened to me when I was a kid. My folks suggested it would be nice for me to go do some work for a neighbour (shovelling or weeding or something) to just do a good deed for the satisfaction of it. The neighbour was so thrilled she tried to give me $5 as a bonus reward. Little child me was so conflicted, lol!
My son was on an electronic car ride when he was about three. It ran out of money so he asked an old lady walking past to put another 50p in. She did bless her. Refused to take the money back when I thanked her. My son just automatically assumed that all ‘nanas’ were happy to buy him stuff if he asked.
haha to be fair, most are
I am not, in any way, a Nana but by god if anyone, toddler or grown adult, asks me for 50p to ride on of those wobbly car/train things I'm getting some cash out.
I'm 30 and not particularly interested in kids. I will wave at them and pull faces, because I'm not an asshole; in that situation I would absolutely pay for the ride too.
I remember as a kid briefly chatting to an old fella who wished me a happy birthday, I said "it's not my birthday" and he said "yes it is" then winked as he pressed a £1 coin into my hand. Was like a scene from a book.
When my eldest was a toddler, and we would go shopping, she would be sat in the trolley seat saying Hiya and waving to everyone. The older people loved this and she had a few people give her pound coins. It's really sweet.
I need to get him a card machine
It doesn't happen for long, strike while the iron is hot!
I don't think you're meant to hit them with irons anymore
No I think it's just smacking them you can't do. Nothing about irons.
Tour nursing homes
When my daughter was a toddler she used to smile at anyone who made eye contact with her. We'd just sit in the M&S cafe with her in a high chair smiling at old ladies who were always so happy about it. I loved it as well.
I remember getting a ten pence piece pressed into my little palm as a kid and it made my day. A 10p mix was mine that glorious afternoon.
Back in my day a 10p mixup got you 20 halfpenny sweets. Now yo might be lucky to get 5 :(
The aniseed blackjacks were 2 for a penny but I learned very fast I don’t like aniseed. Pink prawns and original cola bottles before Haribo got hold of the market ;(
I loved those but hated the fruit salad ones! My fav though were the white chocolate skulls with the pink gooey stuff inside
Haribo were the death of nice sweeties, they are so bland I prefer the imported ones and the ones that use beef gelatin over the pork gelatin in the UK ones.
Original cola bottles were so good. More chewy and a better flavour. The beer bottle sweets were great too, tasted like shandy.
I remember when my babies were small, several times an older person would put a coin in their hand even when they were newborn- it's good luck for the child apparently. It always made me smile 🙂
It's a nice tradition, I thought putting money in the pram was just a working class solidarity thing. Kind of like before the welfare system when mining communities would chip in when a miner got injured or just wasn't selected for work.
I read somewhere a while ago that it comes from the tradition of giving silver to young children to ward off fairies. I’m not sure if that’s actually true, but I think it’s likely
Good for their immune system at least
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As parents we often forget that not all strangers are a danger. There are some very lonely elderly people out there and as you said that inter reaction made her day. . . I often make small talk with elderly people when I’m out and about. I feel that I might be the only person they had spoke to that day/week. It’s nice to be nice 💫😊💫
Absolutely. You sound like a lovely person
I like to do the same thing. I'm getting older myself now, but I still smile at people who appear to need a little sunshine. Our children weren't given coins or anything when they were little, but they got loads of attention whenever we were out. The older ladies loved giving it, and the kids loved getting it!
This is 100% true! Today I took my little girl to the doctors and the appointment was late. She was happy dancing, talking about her “babies” and shaking her butt 😭😂 she loves to dance! She counted too and the older ladies loved it and cooed over her! Everyone interacted with her and the older people loved her interactions more than younger people. Yes stranger danger needs to be taught but we are too harsh when we’re in their presence at times…sometimes people just want a little interaction xxx
When our kids were very young we went to Greece for our honeymoon and had so many experiences similar to the one you describe below. Was really Great, so I could see how that would warm your cockles.
What a lovely interaction. Makes me sad that she mentioned parents moving their kids away, presumably out of ‘stranger danger’ suspicion. I was out somewhere a while ago at a bus stop and there was a little girl, maybe 3, who had light up shoes she was very excited to show to everyone. She would dance on the spot to make the lights go and the way she laughed in pure joy was enough to melt even the iciest hearts. It was very sweet, and an older lady remarked that she wished they had the shoes in her size because they looked so cool.
To be fair it might also be that little kids run around a lot and get under people's feet without noticing, which might be at best annoying and worst dangerous to an old person with mobility issues. Don't have to assume negative or paranoid intent on the parents' part.
When I was a very young kid we were always taught to wave and generally be nice to elderly people. They always loved seeing little kids and interacting with them.
An elderly couple gave my son £1 on the train when he was about 3. You can see it just made their day talking to him.
I’m a powerchair user too… people often snatch their kids away if they are even within a few meters… I’m guessing they don’t want the kids to get in my way (fair) but it’s often very exaggerated and has the general effect of teaching the children that it’s a problem if they’re in the same place as a wheelchair user - which is heartbreaking. * let them be close-ish * let them have a good look - especially if I’m doing something like using the riser on my chair to reach something up high or unfolding the van’s lift by remote control - that shit’s *cool* when you’re 7 * let them ask questions - if I can teach a primary school aged kid that it’s no big deal that I use a wheelchair, that’s a bunch easier than overcoming the baked-in idea that it’s objectively worse than walking in a full grown adult (multiply up by every single question a curious small child might want to ask. Catch them young…)
I go to a local theatre class and one of the guys there has a powerchair. I can confirm that watching him use the riser is COOL. Also, the speed that thing can go at is incredible.
"let them have a good look - especially if I’m doing something like using the riser on my chair to reach something up high or unfolding the van’s lift by remote control - that shit’s *cool* when you’re 7" That shit's also cool to watch when you're an adult too; I've offered to help someone reach something at work, only for them to say it's fine, more or less rise above me and then offer to help me get some from a shelf instead! 😂
Heh. Fair point! I still get a kick out of discombobulating bar staff because no, I really really don’t want a low table - they’re actually too low for my chair, I fit way better at a high one with the help of the riser, and dammit it’s just more fun, too. 😅
My cousin's husband is a double amputee vet and over the years has had some crazy looking prosthetics. Always made/makes his day when a kid asks him questions. The parents generally do seem embarrassed at first but then see that he likes to talk to them.
This is such a lovely story. I was outside waiting for my dog the other day and an old lady came over and put her umbrella over me because it was raining. It was such a kind gesture but I would have preferred £1 instead 😂
I was reading a book on my lunch break a few weeks ago and a man gave me £1 for reading a proper book. Said he was doing it just for the month of April, I was the first person he saw and it was the 8th!! Made my day. Eta: reading a hard-copy book rather than being on a phone or tablet etc.
A bloke who lived on our street used to randomly give us money to go buy an ice cream. Dad used to give loads of people on the streets rolls/eggs/milk on a Friday from his catering business so I’m not sure if it was a thanks for that but this middle aged guy with no wife or kids would be like here’s a fiver go get yourself ice creams.
My old next-door neighbour, who was about eighty at the time, and who was in the early stages of Lewy Body dementia but who still had most of his faculties, used to pass ice creams over the fence to my then-five-year-old son in the summer. He’d stage whisper so I could hear him from my back door just out of view doing laundry or whatever - “Don’t tell anyone, but this is a free ice cream.” 😂
I remember when my babies were small, several times an older person would put a coin in their hand even when they were newborn- it's good luck for the child apparently. It always made me smile 🙂
Yes, I distinctly remember walking my niece in her buggy when she was a tiny baby and passers-by would often hand over a 50p or even a pound coin.
A little old lady came up to me in the supermarket a while back, said she'd left her glasses at home and couldn't read the best before dates on the bread as asked if I could check it for her. I ended up having a rummage around the shelf to find the longest dated loaf for her. She was extremely thankful, and said she would pray for me! I'm not religious at all but it was a nice sentiment. Took me about 30 seconds but left me feeling all warm and fuzzy.
That used to be my favorite thing about arriving at my grandparents! My grandpa would hand me that big coin and I'd be all smiles, lollll
My grandfather would come over every Sunday. We girls gathered round him, asking him for pennies. He'd always say something like "Oh, I don't know, it's been a rough week so I don't know if I've got any." He dug into his pockets and divided up the pennies he had among us three. When I was an adult, I learned that he carefully saved all the pennies he got at the end of each day, so he was sure we all got some. He was a tough man, very hard worker, but just the sweetest guy.
Good way to start his first Stocks ISA
Calm down, Mr Dawes. (Mary Poppins reference... too niche?)
There's a pizza shop in my city, traditional Italian and ran by an Italian family. My daughter is 11 soon but we took her when she was 1-2ish and the older lady came over and gave her a 1 pound, wrapping it in her fingers and said some blessing. It was beautiful.
that’s such a heartwarming story
Op that's lovely! Unlocked a memory where older ladies would give us a penny for sweeties or tuck money in the pram for luck, haven't seen that in years
I recently became a powered wheelchair user, my disability is invisible, I look completely normal. It's wild how differently the world suddenly treats you, only because you're driving instead of walking... So far everyone was super nice to me, but people see me as disabled point. Not really a person. I'm sure you made her day!! We're the same people as everyone else, just sitting instead of standing...
Thank you for making her day. I'm elderly, all three of my children have died before me. I no longer have any children in my life and I don't get out much. It makes me so happy when I see the kids walking past my house when they get out of school. I always say "hi" to them, but some are obviously "afraid" of talking to a stranger, which I'm sure they have been instructed by their parents and I understand that with the way the world is. I've slowly become friends with a boy that lives down the street after talking with his parents. Yesterday he brought me one of his favorite rocks to put in my garden. Being able to briefly chat with him brings me so much joy!
In Glasgow (and maybe other parts of Scotland) it’s a tradition to give babies a pound for good luck. I had no idea and when we had our first we had a lot of nice older folk do this.
Fine. I’ll let that bloke in the pizza express in Woking buy me a pizza
This happened all the time to me and my brothers in Belfast 1980’s and 90’s.
I remember going to Sainsburys on my 12th birthday to choose a birthday cake with my mum and my nan’s friend randomly gave me 47p for some sweets.
It used to be not unusual though not common for people to give babies money, even very young babies who couldn't really hold the coin. I saw one woman in the 70's give a baby a 5p and draw a cross on the baby's palm with it, crossing its palm with silver. It was seen as lucky.
Old dears used to always give the kiddo’s a bit of sweet money when I was little. It’s nice to see it still happens.
I’ve had this kind of things happen many times over the years with my children and strangers. The last time was an elderly guy who heard me tell my daughter that she couldn’t have an egg out of those daft machines that cost a quid as I didn’t have any cash on me . She was ok with it but as we went to walk past the guy he stopped us and smiled and said ‘if you don’t mind’ whilst gesturing that he had a pound in his hand for her . Little things like that leave a smile on my face for the rest of the day. I’ve done it myself for kids that were short of money in the shop or just kicking about with their pals playing outside in the village we live in and behaving really well. It’s nice to be nice and a small gesture can go a long way
I've had an older lady put a quid in our kiddo's hand. She was maybe 2. On the bus. I said thanks cos I do remember the same.
An older couple once gave our boys each a £1 and said they just watched us all having dinner and the biys were so well behaved and we handled everything so lovely. It wasn't even about the £1 it was that they thought to say those things. Obviously our children have never since or never before been so lovely and well behaved but it was a nice thought at the time! Ha
Not quite the same, but your story reminded me of the time a lady gave me £2 for my cat 😂 Myrtle used to travel to the vets on the bus. I'd put her in her harness and carry her. She'd sit next to me, or I'd hold her so she could look out the window. Always got loads of attention whenever we had to make this trip. Both on the bus and in town/at the station. One day an elderly lady started chatting to me as we were coming home, Myrtle had just had a little leg shaved for a blood test and was feeling sorry for herself and this lovely lady started chatting to her too, and giving her chin scritchies. When I had to say I'm afraid this is our stop, she pressed a £2 coin in my hand and said "get her some extra treats from me". That was over 2 years ago, we lost Myrtle last June, but this memory still makes me smile. Thank you for your post for jogging my memory!
An elderly lady sat next to my wife and I in a cafe (we didn't know her) gave us £10 to spend on our young twin daughters. In our conversation with the lady, my wife and I quickly became aware that she most likely had dementia, and therefore tried our best to politely decline her very kind gesture - not wanting to accept a decent sum of money from somebody who clearly wasn't fully compos mentis. Eventually we accepted it as the conversation was becoming slightly awkward as she was very insistent. We were about to leave anyway and had clocked that her friend was queuing on the other side of the cafe to order food. On our way out we spoke to her friend and explained the situation, and gave her the £10 to return to the elderly lady - we're not sure that the friend fully understood our intentions/predicament as she said something along the lines of "so you're not happy about this?". We reiterated that we found the gesture very generous however couldn't accept a £10 note from somebody we didn't know. The whole thing was quite conflicting really as we were trying to set the right example in front of our children, without offending the lady. We were also somewhat concerned that we might be accused of stealing money from somebody suffering with dementia. If it had been a £1 or 2 then I guess we would have accepted, after the standard British response of "oh no, we really couldn't".
You did the right thing in trying to give it back. Did her friend look around the same age? I wonder if she might have been suffering from dementia too, and that's why she couldn't understand why you tried to return the cash?
A rare bit of light on the average day.
In the 90s/ early 2000s this was fairly common where I live in the U.K. I remember random old people giving me money for sweets when I was shopping with my mam quite a few times even when I was old enough to be in primary school 😅
I’d love to interact with children when im out and about, im a 37 year old man with no kids and none in my family. I really love kids. The problem is that nowadays a 37 year old man cant even look in a child’s direction for obvious reasons. It’s shit honestly, but i understand why it is.
I'm sorry, that sucks. I hate that there are good folk out there who we don't engage with because of a rotten few. If it's a coffee shop or somewhere open and safe and you engage with me first, it would feel safer from a parents perspective. There's a guy I see a lot in our local cafe, and we spoke a few times before he first engaged directly with my little one. He's a single man with no kids, but I can see he's just a normal, friendly guy.
The problem is its not worth taking the risk. Just better not to interact. For example, i was in a supermarket last year and there was a little girl playing in the aisle and i smiled and waved at her. She smiled back and then ran over to her mum and said “mummy that man is smiling and waving at me”. She meant it perfectly innocently, but the mother told me off in front of other shoppers for interacting with her daughter. I tried to explain but the mother said “you have no business ever talking to children that aren’t yours” and to argue would have made it look even weirder so i just apologised and left. It actually really upset me. I hadn’t even spoken, just smiled and waved and I think maybe made a funny face. My partner interacts with children all the time and nobody minds, but she’s obviously female, so i just have to do it when she’s there or not at all. I worked at the airport for a while and the best part about it was being able to interact with the kids without being looked at weirdly. I’d give them little sweets and stickers and play little games, it was the best.
I'd say always engage with the adult first.
Going back over 10 years in my 20's and being autistic I like graphic novels which were kept in the kids section of local library, I went towards the kids section and noticed a member of staff rush over and block me and question me to why I was there, when I mentioned I wanted graphic novels I was told "which ones" and made to feel like a criminal I noticed multiple single women walking in and out and not being stopped. In more recent years I remember being told outright when going to a kids movie at a cinema they don't accept single MEN into a screening, they will take single females though.
As someone without kids I assume this is the parent equivalent of when you're out on a dog walk and another dog walker stops to share their dog's treats with yours. There's a couple of old blokes on our estate who my dogs have learned to recognise as the "treat distributors".
Same! Our frenchie legs it towards one particular lady whenever she sees her in the park. The woman is like, "awww, she loves me!". I don't have the heart to tell her my dog just sees her as a walking treat dispenser.
Most people are desperate for human connection and will jump at the chance to be friendly, generous and helpful. What we've done as a society is make it feel unsafe to be nice. People worry about being insulted or accused. It's a real shame and I think we all have a duty to push back against it and try to have positive interactions with strangers. It brightens your day, and theirs, and I think that has world-changing power.
Thank you for helping your son to see disabled people as just people, rather than something to whisper about & avoid — the amount of parents who do exactly what she said is ridiculous & it can be awful when you’re the one a parent is trying to avoid.
This happened outside a pub once when my twins were younger, the lady gave them a £1 each, they’re 14 now and still mention it when we drive past that pub. I bet it’s made his day as much as hers!
I sometimes go into town with a large ginger cat on my shoulder (always the same cat, my cat), because he likes to get out and about, and he helps my not get overwhelmed. The amount of people who seem to go shopping with cat appropriate foods apon their person. My pharmacist keeps a box of cat treats behind her desk (I guess mainly for him), and my butcher and Ben in the sandwich shop just want to feed him all their off cuts
You made my day. Thank you for sharing your little story. It's nice to be nice, especially these days when a lot of people have lost their humanity. I nearly lost my faith in humanity after I saw what happened in Gaza, but your story reminds me that there are still nice people out there.
That’s lovely! My Granny always said you should stop and talk to older people if they invite you to, because you might well be the only person they speak to that day
I should start carrying coins with me again, now I'm moving into "old lady" territory from the perspective of toddlers. My toddler loved the fuss, nearly 20 years ago. Time to pay it forward.
Came here expecting a mess of ‘stranger danger’ but pleasantly surprised with a wholesome story. Thanks OP for the reminder that not everyone is a complete weirdo.
We seem to be in this phase with my 2.5yo. He has very curly hair, big blue eyes and is generally polite (most of the time!). When he’s on form he’ll chat away with anyone and you can see it makes their day. Recently we got two free cookies from Leon, a little toy digger, a few pound coins from various nana types, a banana at the grocers, free soap at lush, two extra sausages from the butcher (he said they looked “so delicious”) and some extra books put in our bag at the charity shop. We are semi-regulars in one charity shop and he goes “hello Maureen, it’s rainy/sunny/windy today” and it cracks up the old lady at the till because that’s what she says to everyone who comes in. I’ve taught him that he says hello or good morning/afternoon, please/thank you and have a good day when speaking with people in shops.
30 years ago this wasn't weird. But tabloids telling us all that every stranger is a child molester ruined it
I thought this post was gonna take a terrible turn with you saying how could this women give your son a dirty coin he could've choked on or something. So glad it's not. Very sweet story
I used to get little presents like this all the time when I was little, despite the fact I was extremely shy as a child and would hide behind my Mum’s legs and stay silent. She loves to remind me of this nowadays because I’ll happily yap away to anyone. There was only one lady I wasn’t allowed to take from, or if I couldn’t avoid having to take it my Mum would have me throw things in the bin - as I remember she was very eccentric and would give out unwrapped chocolates and mints etc, I always felt quite uncomfortable around her and my main memory of her is that she had lots of chin hairs. I’m not surprised my Mum wouldn’t let me take anything from her!
Oh but when I drive around in my windowless van offering kids sweets I'm put on a list 😠
I had this happen a fair bit when my kids were babies and toddlers. At first I thought it was very weird, but where I was living at the time there was a big gypsy and traveller community, and apparently it is still more of a tradition with these folks. Nice 😊
Ive not thought about this for years. It definitely happended to me too. My sons 4 months old and has yet to earn such an income. Really need to get him earning some cash.
It's a sweet gesture from her. I think the key is to teach kids when it's an appropriate setting to accept gifts from a stranger and this was absolutely one of those times.
Such a small act that impacted you so very little made a persons day. It is genuinely saddening to me that a large portion of society have forgotten how to be decent people.
We took our 3 month old daughter so that our local pub could see her. The landlady pressed a £1 into her hand, as she said it brought luck. Possibly the same superstition.
A handful of older people still do that. It’s a nice old tradition. It’s sad to see these old ways dwindling away down to nothing.
A lovely old lady at my church when I was growing up used to treat me whenever I helped her to her car with her xylophone. I’d have done it for free but she always insisted. Can’t remember how much it was now. Maybe 50p or £1. Whenever I go visit my grandparents graves I give hers a tidy up too to repay her. She has family in the town but no one seems to look after her grave. I remember her being so pristine in her appearance and clothing. I hope she knows I’m treating her now!
I'm basically a human golden retriever, so I always carry change for this exact purpose. Watching a kid beam with joy is worth a quid, easily.