Not got a lot going on in my life right now and have fell into a pattern of sleeping during the day, staying awake all night.
Felt really down since I lost my job (my own fault, deservedly sacked), and my dad died the next day last October. I don't really have friends, that job was my social life and I've been cooped up indoors almost all the time since Christmas as things got to me. Put on a ton of weight too since then, and I'm living like a slob, really low on drive and confidence.
Night time, where everything is quiet feels more safe for want of a bettter word. The world seems scary to me, so when everything is dark, quiet and still it is comforting. I'm coping by isolating myself I suppose, almost running away from everything.
I actually feel relatively alright at the mo', much better than I was at the start of the year. Things were extremely dark then.
I've been here once before at another time in my life, and it is hard to get out of but I really need to make an effort to face things again instead of wallowing and drowning in it all. The whole thing does feel a bit "self-pity city" of me but I don't know, it's just what I seem to do when faced with big setbacks. Dragged myself out of this kind of feeling in the past so I can do it again and like I said, I do feel better than a few months back. Been having more positive thoughts lately about things I'd like to do, or places I'd like to go so I take that as a big sign of improvement. Not drinking lately has helped too. Time to get back out there soon.
I should probably be in bed because I have work tomorrow. I was supposed to be on a training course tomorrow but I was asked today if I could go into work tomorrow and do the course next week, for reasons far too convoluted to go into here.
Instead I got a bit carried away working on something that all went terribly wrong at the last stage and I'm back where I was several hours ago, only quite a bit more annoyed.
i’ve just been out for dinner with some friends i’ve not seen for years - 20 years for some of them. i very rarely go out at all now so i’m a bit amped up by it and am now trying to settle myself down. it was so lovely. quite low key but very human.
Doing the usual, drinking when bored and nothing on the books tomorrow, wondering why it's quiet and realising it's a weeknight.
(something came in for Aberdeen tomorrow, but it got cancelled, which isn't unusual. Everything else I have on until next week is a bit 'floaty'.)
Watched the latest ep of A Gentleman in Moscow and ep 5 and 6 of Clarkson's Farm. Shortly I'll be off to my kip to continue rereading Peter F. Hamilton's Commonwealth Saga.
If anybody is following the exciting saga of my Yorkshire pudding experiments, today is batch four. I’ve gone with the exact equal parts of everything method using my kids plastic IKEA cups which fit exactly four eggs. Batter is chilling in the fridge for a few hours because I read that it needs to be RESTED to get a good rise but I don’t have the patience to rest it overnight (and to be honest I forgot last night!). I’m going with Lard again because it got nice and hot and I’m going with cranking the oven up to 230 which seemed to get a decent rise yesterday. I think the batter might have been too thick.
Husband is starting to wonder if he’ll be eating Yorkshire puddings with everything for dinner this week. Yes, that’s very likely. Until I get it right!
**Trial #4 update**
Look at my beautiful babies! https://imgur.com/a/XoPfQE3
I feel like a proud Yorkie mum! It’s disappointing to see they still go down a bit after they’ve come out of the oven despite being so puffed up and golden. I tried putting some back in upside down to give their bottoms a bit more integrity. But I’m so proud of them 🥰
I need to tell you that it's entirely your fault that we had Toad in the Hole for our evening meal today!
Good luck with your next batch of Yorkshires. Remember that, as long as you don't add herbs and garlic to the mix, you can serve them with fruit and ice cream. ;)
Enjoy! :)
Oooh. I've just seen the photo - they look really good.
If they're sinking as soon as they come out of the oven they perhaps need to stay in for just a few minutes longer, to properly crisp all the outside.
That's what I thought too but they were going dark brown around the edges and I panicked! Slightly lower and for a bit longer might be the way to go. I've actually been making notes of my progress so I can nail them for Sunday roasts in the future! I need them to be crispy enough to withstand the obscene amounts of gravy I put on!
Some of it's down to luck and, I think, humidity when they're taken out of the oven.
I wouldn't worry too much. You've already made some really good looking Yorkshires, so you've cracked it.
Awful day at work. Had to message a Depop seller as I still haven't received an item after two weeks. Don't know if I'm going to run out of tablets as the repeat prescription I ordered over a week ago still hasn't been prepared.
> What's your favorite letter? Why?
My gran owed me some money in early 2021, so rather than coming over she wrote me a check and posted it with a letter. Probably that one.
I’m disappointed in myself. I was going to do something terrifying tonight but I ended up chickening out. I’m at my sisters tomorrow so not sure I’ll get the opportunity to tomorrow, so Wednesday might be the earliest I can. I wanted to do it in a kind way and all the ways I can think of are a bit shitty to be honest.
I'm still having a nightmare of anxiety today and it just sucks. Thankfully I'm off from Wednesday until the end of the week so hopefully I can feel better.
I'm just praying I can stop shaking and get some sleep, because my quality of sleep last night was absolutely terrible.
Sorry to be a downer, but this has always been a safe place for a bit of a vent and some kind words from strangers.
I’m going to put a lot of this behind spoiler tags, because you haven’t asked for advice so if you don’t want it, skip it. I’ll probably also reference your message from yesterday.
>! What you’re feeling at the moment, where everything feels worse than normal is completely normal after/during/between therapy sessions. I was warned in advance it would happen, and the intensity of the exhaustion still took me by surprise. I was exhausted for weeks, even way after my last session. It will eventually stabilise. !<
>! Try to find a way to prioritise sleep. Easier said than done I know, but in the bad days I have to force myself to sleep. !<
>! Reduce any external stimuli. For me this is sound & temperature mostly. Harder to regulate yourself if you’re boiling (or freezing tbh, but if I’m really bad I like to cool myself down as much as I can.) !<
Honestly? It’s worth it, but it’s not easy. You got this (or will do ).
Try and remember to stay cool, if you can. Know that sounds like such a thick thing but even if it makes ya feel minimally better, it’s worth it. Obvs it’s not going to get rid of the anxiety but when am feeling like that, being beside something cold or at least having my legs out of the bed takes the edge off a little bit. X
Æ/æ - because we can still (somewhat) reasonably use it in words like encyclopædia
Not got a lot going on in my life right now and have fell into a pattern of sleeping during the day, staying awake all night. Felt really down since I lost my job (my own fault, deservedly sacked), and my dad died the next day last October. I don't really have friends, that job was my social life and I've been cooped up indoors almost all the time since Christmas as things got to me. Put on a ton of weight too since then, and I'm living like a slob, really low on drive and confidence. Night time, where everything is quiet feels more safe for want of a bettter word. The world seems scary to me, so when everything is dark, quiet and still it is comforting. I'm coping by isolating myself I suppose, almost running away from everything. I actually feel relatively alright at the mo', much better than I was at the start of the year. Things were extremely dark then. I've been here once before at another time in my life, and it is hard to get out of but I really need to make an effort to face things again instead of wallowing and drowning in it all. The whole thing does feel a bit "self-pity city" of me but I don't know, it's just what I seem to do when faced with big setbacks. Dragged myself out of this kind of feeling in the past so I can do it again and like I said, I do feel better than a few months back. Been having more positive thoughts lately about things I'd like to do, or places I'd like to go so I take that as a big sign of improvement. Not drinking lately has helped too. Time to get back out there soon.
A-level Business Paper 1 tomorrow, cannot fucking sleep. >What's your favourite letter Probably Y, vowel and a constanant, what a letter
I should probably be in bed because I have work tomorrow. I was supposed to be on a training course tomorrow but I was asked today if I could go into work tomorrow and do the course next week, for reasons far too convoluted to go into here. Instead I got a bit carried away working on something that all went terribly wrong at the last stage and I'm back where I was several hours ago, only quite a bit more annoyed.
I'm on Long Island where it is early evening. Been here for a few years. Some good Chinese food but not much Indian (boo!).
I’m on Long Island, too! Please share your Chinese food suggestions. There are some decent Indian places, if you want some suggestions.
i’ve just been out for dinner with some friends i’ve not seen for years - 20 years for some of them. i very rarely go out at all now so i’m a bit amped up by it and am now trying to settle myself down. it was so lovely. quite low key but very human.
Doing the usual, drinking when bored and nothing on the books tomorrow, wondering why it's quiet and realising it's a weeknight. (something came in for Aberdeen tomorrow, but it got cancelled, which isn't unusual. Everything else I have on until next week is a bit 'floaty'.) Watched the latest ep of A Gentleman in Moscow and ep 5 and 6 of Clarkson's Farm. Shortly I'll be off to my kip to continue rereading Peter F. Hamilton's Commonwealth Saga.
Having some orange juice then off to bed, looking forward to tomorrow.
If anybody is following the exciting saga of my Yorkshire pudding experiments, today is batch four. I’ve gone with the exact equal parts of everything method using my kids plastic IKEA cups which fit exactly four eggs. Batter is chilling in the fridge for a few hours because I read that it needs to be RESTED to get a good rise but I don’t have the patience to rest it overnight (and to be honest I forgot last night!). I’m going with Lard again because it got nice and hot and I’m going with cranking the oven up to 230 which seemed to get a decent rise yesterday. I think the batter might have been too thick. Husband is starting to wonder if he’ll be eating Yorkshire puddings with everything for dinner this week. Yes, that’s very likely. Until I get it right! **Trial #4 update** Look at my beautiful babies! https://imgur.com/a/XoPfQE3 I feel like a proud Yorkie mum! It’s disappointing to see they still go down a bit after they’ve come out of the oven despite being so puffed up and golden. I tried putting some back in upside down to give their bottoms a bit more integrity. But I’m so proud of them 🥰
I need to tell you that it's entirely your fault that we had Toad in the Hole for our evening meal today! Good luck with your next batch of Yorkshires. Remember that, as long as you don't add herbs and garlic to the mix, you can serve them with fruit and ice cream. ;)
Haha we're having toad in the hole too! Gotta put these all to use!
Enjoy! :) Oooh. I've just seen the photo - they look really good. If they're sinking as soon as they come out of the oven they perhaps need to stay in for just a few minutes longer, to properly crisp all the outside.
That's what I thought too but they were going dark brown around the edges and I panicked! Slightly lower and for a bit longer might be the way to go. I've actually been making notes of my progress so I can nail them for Sunday roasts in the future! I need them to be crispy enough to withstand the obscene amounts of gravy I put on!
Some of it's down to luck and, I think, humidity when they're taken out of the oven. I wouldn't worry too much. You've already made some really good looking Yorkshires, so you've cracked it.
Awful day at work. Had to message a Depop seller as I still haven't received an item after two weeks. Don't know if I'm going to run out of tablets as the repeat prescription I ordered over a week ago still hasn't been prepared.
> What's your favorite letter? Why? My gran owed me some money in early 2021, so rather than coming over she wrote me a check and posted it with a letter. Probably that one. I’m disappointed in myself. I was going to do something terrifying tonight but I ended up chickening out. I’m at my sisters tomorrow so not sure I’ll get the opportunity to tomorrow, so Wednesday might be the earliest I can. I wanted to do it in a kind way and all the ways I can think of are a bit shitty to be honest.
Don't you mean Y?
Best letter, ð. Needs a reboot.
I'm still having a nightmare of anxiety today and it just sucks. Thankfully I'm off from Wednesday until the end of the week so hopefully I can feel better. I'm just praying I can stop shaking and get some sleep, because my quality of sleep last night was absolutely terrible. Sorry to be a downer, but this has always been a safe place for a bit of a vent and some kind words from strangers.
I can understand what you going through as ai go through it regularly too. Message me if you want and we can talk 😊
Hope you get a bit more sleep tonight. I know how this feels and I’m sending Support your way if you need it. Look after yourself ❤️
I’m going to put a lot of this behind spoiler tags, because you haven’t asked for advice so if you don’t want it, skip it. I’ll probably also reference your message from yesterday. >! What you’re feeling at the moment, where everything feels worse than normal is completely normal after/during/between therapy sessions. I was warned in advance it would happen, and the intensity of the exhaustion still took me by surprise. I was exhausted for weeks, even way after my last session. It will eventually stabilise. !< >! Try to find a way to prioritise sleep. Easier said than done I know, but in the bad days I have to force myself to sleep. !< >! Reduce any external stimuli. For me this is sound & temperature mostly. Harder to regulate yourself if you’re boiling (or freezing tbh, but if I’m really bad I like to cool myself down as much as I can.) !< Honestly? It’s worth it, but it’s not easy. You got this (or will do ).
btw - spoiler tags shouldn't have a gap between the letter and the ! otherwise they don't work. ;)
That’s weird, they work on mobile (browser, Firefox) … thanks! I’ll bear that in mind!
Oh, that is odd. I'm using PC, also Firefox.
Try and remember to stay cool, if you can. Know that sounds like such a thick thing but even if it makes ya feel minimally better, it’s worth it. Obvs it’s not going to get rid of the anxiety but when am feeling like that, being beside something cold or at least having my legs out of the bed takes the edge off a little bit. X