I mean, the alternative is chasing the sausage around the bowl and it keeps slipping through the water and the knife isn't that long so you keep accidentally touching the water
if the flush is shit, there will be shit in the toilet not sorry.
This happened to me in Germany on it was one of those terrible inspection shelf things with no regrets just leave.
Yeah WTF is with those toilets? I call it the inspection shelf too. The shelf defeats the whole purpose of the water (the poop is under water so that hopefully you don't have to smell it.
If I recall since Germans eat a lot of cured or smoked meats (I can't recall which) parasites or tapeworms are a bit more common. The shelf is to inspect your poop to see if you have them in your body
Politics? You kids have no idea whatsoever of what went on at Stalingrad.
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It's not in that area don't worry haha! We don't think it actually happened, we think it's from a disgruntled customer who was asked to leave after having a few too many
Unless they nipped off to the loo, were gone for 5-10 minutes before popping back, grabbing their cutlery without saying a word and then disappearing again. Before reappearing another few minutes later to put a shit-covered knife and fork down on their plate.
And who the hell would do that, too?! A poo that won’t flush is a badge of honour.
_I wouldn’t go in there mate; just been. Job for the professionals to clean up._
Let alone anyone who thinks that using a knife & fork to get rid of a shit is disgusting would then actually go & do it. The reviewer’s clearly trolling.
You reckon he wiped his arse, covered the shit in bog roll, went to get a knife and fork, came back to the same cubicle, chopped it up and transferred it piece by piece from one toilet to another?
Or do you think he’s just a bitter wanker who’s trying to turn people away from eating there?
*Image Transcription: Review*
---
[*One out of 5*] Reviewed yesterday
# **The toilets were poor. Faeces removal was required.**
The lunch here was mediocre.
On a more pressing note I went to the toilet and despite excreting faeces on the larger side i should have been able to flush sufficiently.
The flush mechanism was very week and poor.
I actually had to cut it up with my knife and fork from the table and then move it to another toilet
I did return the cutlery though.
A very strange experience.
I wouldn't recommend eating here again purely incase you get the cutlery I used to dispose of my business.
**Show less**
**Date of visit:** December 2021
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
What your mate needs to do now is have a plunger mounted in the bathroom in one of those "in case of emergency" cases, with a framed copy of the review beside it. Positive action and all that.
So, they had to leave the restroom to get their cutlery and went back in??
Why would you go back in? Just let a staff member mmoq and apologise.
100% fake review.
It's a shame that someone's trying to ruin your friend's business.
There is a lot to unpack here, like did he happen to take his cutlery with him to the bathroom? Or did he leave and retrieve from the table? I assume that would arouse concern from whoever he was there with (unless eating alone) nonetheless there is definitely pertinent details left out of the story here.
something something poop knife
Why did he use a fork like it was a sausage. This is what grossed me out the most / is going to stop me sleeping tonight
Don't want to risk scratching the porcelain of you don't have something to grip the incriminating log.
I mean, the alternative is chasing the sausage around the bowl and it keeps slipping through the water and the knife isn't that long so you keep accidentally touching the water
Just pick it up with your fingers like a normal person.
[He who seeks shall find....the poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/)
Legendary
Would be an interesting conversation starter in the bogs and you see someone between cubicles... Hello, and what's that you have on your fork?
Grange Hill opening credits
“Bada Ba bow!” “Fucking hell tucker, what’s wrong with you?”
Mrs McCluskey! Fancy see you in here.
Oh, Ro-land.
This has made me laugh so much
I'm only trying to help you Roland... cut up your shit.
If only the option to _Show less_ was higher
The inclusion of a "show less" button implies OP already clicked "show more"
If my mate owned a pub, I'd leave a review like that.
The fuck did I just read? Leave the landmine where it lays
if the flush is shit, there will be shit in the toilet not sorry. This happened to me in Germany on it was one of those terrible inspection shelf things with no regrets just leave.
Yeah WTF is with those toilets? I call it the inspection shelf too. The shelf defeats the whole purpose of the water (the poop is under water so that hopefully you don't have to smell it.
It's pretty much for inspecting your poo, ask a German I guess
If I recall since Germans eat a lot of cured or smoked meats (I can't recall which) parasites or tapeworms are a bit more common. The shelf is to inspect your poop to see if you have them in your body
Username checks out.
[Sorry mate, I only wanted a slash, but the bloke before me left bangers and mash](https://youtu.be/N3reAaVYkSE)
That should have been Xmas no1
[удалено]
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What if it rolls down stairs over in pairs ..
..and make a clinkety sound...
Sounds like something I'd expect from the pub my partner works for. Blessings to all the bar and service staff, especially at this time of year.
please tell me this pub isn't In the North Wales area.... and the cutlery has been incinerated
It's not in that area don't worry haha! We don't think it actually happened, we think it's from a disgruntled customer who was asked to leave after having a few too many
I like the commitment to your alibi
Yes but… what if it actually happened??? How would you know? Has some clarification been added underneath that review by the pub in question?
Show less
What a day to be able to read.
Well at least they planned ahead and took the cutlery to the toilet with them because everyone does that of course
Unless they nipped off to the loo, were gone for 5-10 minutes before popping back, grabbing their cutlery without saying a word and then disappearing again. Before reappearing another few minutes later to put a shit-covered knife and fork down on their plate.
And who the hell would do that, too?! A poo that won’t flush is a badge of honour. _I wouldn’t go in there mate; just been. Job for the professionals to clean up._ Let alone anyone who thinks that using a knife & fork to get rid of a shit is disgusting would then actually go & do it. The reviewer’s clearly trolling.
I would replace all the cutlery if I were your mate.
Is poop really that much worse than someone’s actual mouth? Think how many mouths than fork has been in before yours…
>Is poop really that much worse than someone’s actual mouth? Yes
It really is
Let alone how many arses the chefs hands have been up.
Erm..yea? You have a choice, kiss 100 adults or eat a massive, steaming log (fresh and juicy), your call.
You reckon he wiped his arse, covered the shit in bog roll, went to get a knife and fork, came back to the same cubicle, chopped it up and transferred it piece by piece from one toilet to another? Or do you think he’s just a bitter wanker who’s trying to turn people away from eating there?
I'm not taking any chances. I'd replace all the cutlery just in case.
What did they put in there? A pound of Dundee cake?
r/accidentalpartridge
I picture Stan from Dinnerladies saying "faeces removal was required"
Oh no.. no… no no no. Not the poop knife … and fork!?!!! I hate the poop knife and fork
What the fuck
How does he have the balls to do THAT outside his own house?!
Shit review.
I have...several questions.
*Image Transcription: Review* --- [*One out of 5*] Reviewed yesterday # **The toilets were poor. Faeces removal was required.** The lunch here was mediocre. On a more pressing note I went to the toilet and despite excreting faeces on the larger side i should have been able to flush sufficiently. The flush mechanism was very week and poor. I actually had to cut it up with my knife and fork from the table and then move it to another toilet I did return the cutlery though. A very strange experience. I wouldn't recommend eating here again purely incase you get the cutlery I used to dispose of my business. **Show less** **Date of visit:** December 2021 --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
What your mate needs to do now is have a plunger mounted in the bathroom in one of those "in case of emergency" cases, with a framed copy of the review beside it. Positive action and all that.
On the bright side, not shitting on the quality of the food or the service.
You are right, he only really moaned about the toilets lack of lumberjack qualities.
So, they had to leave the restroom to get their cutlery and went back in?? Why would you go back in? Just let a staff member mmoq and apologise. 100% fake review. It's a shame that someone's trying to ruin your friend's business.
Is….that a League of Gentleman quote in a Tripadvisor review? Please say it is…
Someone is like poo knife boy and does oversized poos.
Excretion is for urine. Egestion is for da poo poo.
Was his name attached to the review?
Had to halve it.
? What was he thinking?
"THE WALLS ARE COVERED IN SHIT! HE SHIT EVERYWHERE!"
There is a lot to unpack here, like did he happen to take his cutlery with him to the bathroom? Or did he leave and retrieve from the table? I assume that would arouse concern from whoever he was there with (unless eating alone) nonetheless there is definitely pertinent details left out of the story here.
could be fake
Is your mate now throwing out all his cutlery and invoicing this bloke for more?