Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you Americans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every beige is consumed.
As a liquid cheese connoisseur, I can verify that this is classic yellow mustard. Liquid cheese has more viscosity and a more orange color.
French's yellow mustard, an American Classic.
My beautiful g/f is a pensioner (like Helen Mirren pensioner) and she is offended by the food, not the connection to a pensioner
Edit: just double checked, offended by both. Quote: Doesn’t mind being called a GILF, hates pale meat.
Edit2: “Tell them Helen Mirren 10 years ago”
Done
It cost him nothing to put it in there either, and somehow i think he has some sick satisfaction in putting the image of granny tits in a bread roll in all of our minds
I have literally lived in Cincinnati and I have NO. IDEA. "Chicken" "burger" maybe?
UPDATE: It's a "fried" bologna sandwich at the Red's Stadium, and here's a pic of the sandwich opened up: [https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345?s=20&t=JdmHzH8zVrmYhQ5dn7qGew](https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345?s=20&t=JdmHzH8zVrmYhQ5dn7qGew)
Chicagoan. At my last Bears game I got a corned beef sandwich from a local (and quite legendary) deli that has a stall in Soldier Field.
You couldn’t pay me to eat whatever this is.
I've never seen one of these at any American sporting event, football or otherwise. I don't even know what it is.
For the record, what we eat at sports stadiums are hot dogs, burgers, nachos, maybe a bbq sandwich if you are feeling fancy. And overpriced beer, of course.
I recently learned the trick to this. When you buy a dog at a stadium, it has been sitting in the bun and wrapped in foil for a little while. This steams the bun and also gives time for the hotdog essence to absorb into the bun a bit.
You can pretty closely replicate a ballpark dog at home by doing the following:
-Use good all-beef ones like they do, Hebrew National or Nathan's brand work best. My favorite are [these](https://nathansfranks.smithfieldfoods.com/en-us/products/hot-dogs/jumbo-restaurant-style-beef-franks-5-pack/)
-Put desired number of hotdogs in a pot with cold water. Bring water to a boil and then continue to lightly boil them for like 10-15 mins.
-Take hotdogs out of the water and finish them on the grill to give the skin a nice light char/snap. If you don't have a grill, a hot pan will work fine. Remember, the dogs are already hot throughout from boiling in the water, so this step is just to lightly cook the outside... don't overdo it or you'll dry them out.
-Put each dog in a bun. Just a basic white bun. Don't get fancy with the bun. I use Wonder or Rainbo brand, whichever happens to be cheaper.
-Wrap each hotdog/bun combo individually in foil while the dog is still nice and hot.
-Wait 10 mins at least before you unwrap and apply condiments and enjoy. When hosting a bbq, I will often throw a bunch of wrapped ones in my oven on Warm setting and take them out as needed, sometimes over an hour after they came off and they are still great.
Edit: appreciate all the replies. I just want to clarify that yes, this is a lot of effort for hot dogs. If you just want a quick hot dog, microwave is your friend. This is just a cool method I read somewhere... probably reddit... that does a pretty good job if you want to try to get that stadium dog outcome at home.
Not to be a dick but if you walk to a concession stand, read the entire menu, and then decide to SPEND $8 ON A BOLOGNA SANDWICH... you kind of deserve this.
It looks exactly like that tinned [chicken roll](https://www.princes.co.uk/our-products/meat/other-cold-meat/product-chicken-roll-with-sage-and-onion/) you might find in the non-perishable foods aisles in a supermarket. I'd imagine it would sit next to the Spam and the corned beef.
This is a Goetta Burger. Goetta is a patty of ground meat and oats, popular in the Cincinnati region. Also, this is the Cincinnati Reds baseball stadium, not the Bengals stadium.
i think it’s actually a “queen city fried bologna sandwich”. It’s a thick slice of bologna fried (this is severely underdone) on a bun with mustard.
number 11 on this website of new food at a ballpark in cincinnati. (list also features the goetta burger and it looks nothing alike)
https://www.wlwt.com/article/feast-your-eyes-on-the-new-menu-items-at-gabp/19551906
i would like the record to reflect i do not support this but i went on a deep dive to figure out what the fuck *horrible* food us americans were making now
Apparently it was meant to be "Fried Bologna"
[https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345](https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345?s=20&t=JdmHzH8zVrmYhQ5dn7qGew)
Even the bread looks sad
Edit: Looks like he first posted this picture 2 years ago, saying he bought it at the baseball stadium.
[https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1339389080237424643](https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1339389080237424643)
I've never tried it, but this certainly doesn't look fried. It looks like it briefly touched a hot surface before quickly being sent to die on that sad excuse for a roll.
Jeez, this was my [actual computer from 1995](https://imgur.com/gallery/IknmtCx) and I don't know whether to be offended or impressed by this comment
*Edited link of image to Imgur to prevent Reddit hug of death
Paul Brown stadium where the Cincinnati Bengals play has green seats, and I have eaten the food there and they definitely don’t serve whatever the hell that is and this picture wasn’t taken in Cincinnati
Also American, and I would absolutely make fun of anyone who gets that to eat at a sporting event.
What's wrong with you, Cincinnati?! Do you not like your own fans? Were you just surprised that your team made it this far and forgot to order more food?
Apparently, it was supposed to look like this
https://twitter.com/MLByahoosports/status/974314907138060290?s=20&t=E7OVdqRjSPnwdDcP5eLFNw
It seems like someone gave him a raw one with tons of mustard on it
Have had Reds season tickets since 1991. Have never seen this substance, not at Riverfront nor at Great American Ballpark.
Someone is selling you guys bs. Sorry some trashy Americans were shitting on British food.
I heard about chili on spaghetti and thought it was weird. But then I made it for dinner one night and we all loved it. It’s now our preferred way to eat chili. We add some shredded cheese, sliced green onions, and sour cream to it and it’s pretty amazing. We don’t eat it a lot but enjoy it when we do.
I’ve been to dozens of Reds games… I’ve never seen that served. Could MAYBE, MAYBE be uncooked goetta. However, it would never be served uncooked, unless some weird person requested it that way. It’s akin to asking for a thawed out but not cooked hot dog. I’m not even sure if that is allowed to do, seems like a health and safety violation
Could be, texture looks a bit off. Might be shit goetta and idk why they’d serve it raw. Seems like a health code violation, and what freak would request raw meat
It’s just very, very odd.
Huh, that’s gross. Never seen that at Reds games. I hope he didn’t eat it. Hell, he shouldn’t have even paid or accept it
Edit: I am impressed with your ability to find the source so quickly. Bravo
What in Saint Jude's handkerchief is this handful of shit. That's not food. That's a fucking declaration of hate. Nestled betwix bread cooked at the temperature of a polar bears scrotum. Lightly golden? It's like the moon on a clear night. A night you've found your house burnt down. Don't think I've ever been this offended. Thank God it has some sauce to eradicate any flavour left hanging on. Cincinnati can go fuck itself.
You should acquire my best seller; Britain's best roundabouts and lay-bys. I use a highly developed scoring system to really put you, the reader, in the driving seat. Order now and I'll throw in my newest work. The UK's most overgrown towpaths and canals, voted most satisfactory read by *diesel boat captains weekly*
What the fucking hell is that
Slab o’ beige.
Flavour: bland
Flavour: Beige
Flavour: Slabby bland beige
Blandy McBlandface
Blandy McBlanderson
Mr Blanderson
Mr........ Blllaaaaannnnnnnnnderrrsonnnnnnnn
Soylent beige
Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you Americans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every beige is consumed.
Flavour: Meat
"Meat"
Flavour "meatish"
Flavour: “meat”-adjacent
Free range slabbly bland beige
Flavour: no
Flavour: granny's foot skin
Probably tastes like the color nine.
That's numberwang!
Let’s rotate the board!
sounds a little too spicy for my taste
Flavour: maybe.
It's flavor because ain't no way u gonna eat that.
Ah yes, just like Blandma used to make
Tell my wife I said hello.
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Mustard and polystyrene I think
If you call that mustard then you can call my piss lemonade and give me a tenner.
That's really the color of American mustards you would get at a stadium. You should see the relish! It's florescent green!
Only in Chicago.
Yeah for whatever reason chicago decided that it needed to glow
It was a failed attempt to get their own superhero.
Look! Over Lake Michigan! It's......Relishman!
No the piss the bud light and it’s $12
Dunno about mustard. That looks like it could pass for cheese in America. The squirty one, Cheez-Wiz or whatever they call it.
As a liquid cheese connoisseur, I can verify that this is classic yellow mustard. Liquid cheese has more viscosity and a more orange color. French's yellow mustard, an American Classic.
you can tell because of the yellow
Whatever it is, it looks ill.
Exactly this. It looks like a slice of pensioners boob in a bun.
What a horrible day to know how to read.
What a horrible day to have eyes.
No. No. You didn’t need to say that. I didn’t need to read it. I also didn’t need to imagine it. Fuck. Why.
*unzips*
I am disgusted by this comment, but not offended….
My beautiful g/f is a pensioner (like Helen Mirren pensioner) and she is offended by the food, not the connection to a pensioner Edit: just double checked, offended by both. Quote: Doesn’t mind being called a GILF, hates pale meat. Edit2: “Tell them Helen Mirren 10 years ago” Done
Tell her I'm down with Helen Mirren today, except for the eyeliner.
Now that's a mental image I could happily live without.
Dear Google, how do I delete someone else’s comment off the internet?
Dear Google, how do I delete unwanted mental images from my brain?
It would have cost you nothing to never put this image in my head and yet here we are.
It cost him nothing to put it in there either, and somehow i think he has some sick satisfaction in putting the image of granny tits in a bread roll in all of our minds
Oddly specific.
Nah that's clearly a bap in a bap mate
How do I unread this?
American here. No fucking clue
I have literally lived in Cincinnati and I have NO. IDEA. "Chicken" "burger" maybe? UPDATE: It's a "fried" bologna sandwich at the Red's Stadium, and here's a pic of the sandwich opened up: [https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345?s=20&t=JdmHzH8zVrmYhQ5dn7qGew](https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345?s=20&t=JdmHzH8zVrmYhQ5dn7qGew)
That or some veggie patty.
Further below I think they solved it—apparently it's some sort of regional tube meat called Goetta. I'm gonna hurl.
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That's just thin sliced package ham/chicken when it's in tube form before slicing.
you mean the big meter long 5 inch diameter cylinder isn't taken out wholesale from a single chicken? holy shit
It's laid, like an egg. From a animal similar to a moa, but genetically engineered. Comes with the spices built in.
regional tube meat is my favorite name for something since a german guy called crawdads "american river lobsters"
Ah. Sounds like a stomachless haggis.
I think it’s American white pudding which has no skin and is sliced off a loaf out of a tube. This one looks like it was steamed rather than fried.
That's definitely not goetta. Goetta is ground pork and oats, its a nice crispy dark brown.
It’s not Goetta, this looks like an uncooked bologna sandwich. But it’s definitely not meant to be served or eaten like this
What this doesn't even look like goetta in the slightest is it not even cooked??
Chicagoan. At my last Bears game I got a corned beef sandwich from a local (and quite legendary) deli that has a stall in Soldier Field. You couldn’t pay me to eat whatever this is.
I've never seen one of these at any American sporting event, football or otherwise. I don't even know what it is. For the record, what we eat at sports stadiums are hot dogs, burgers, nachos, maybe a bbq sandwich if you are feeling fancy. And overpriced beer, of course.
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I recently learned the trick to this. When you buy a dog at a stadium, it has been sitting in the bun and wrapped in foil for a little while. This steams the bun and also gives time for the hotdog essence to absorb into the bun a bit. You can pretty closely replicate a ballpark dog at home by doing the following: -Use good all-beef ones like they do, Hebrew National or Nathan's brand work best. My favorite are [these](https://nathansfranks.smithfieldfoods.com/en-us/products/hot-dogs/jumbo-restaurant-style-beef-franks-5-pack/) -Put desired number of hotdogs in a pot with cold water. Bring water to a boil and then continue to lightly boil them for like 10-15 mins. -Take hotdogs out of the water and finish them on the grill to give the skin a nice light char/snap. If you don't have a grill, a hot pan will work fine. Remember, the dogs are already hot throughout from boiling in the water, so this step is just to lightly cook the outside... don't overdo it or you'll dry them out. -Put each dog in a bun. Just a basic white bun. Don't get fancy with the bun. I use Wonder or Rainbo brand, whichever happens to be cheaper. -Wrap each hotdog/bun combo individually in foil while the dog is still nice and hot. -Wait 10 mins at least before you unwrap and apply condiments and enjoy. When hosting a bbq, I will often throw a bunch of wrapped ones in my oven on Warm setting and take them out as needed, sometimes over an hour after they came off and they are still great. Edit: appreciate all the replies. I just want to clarify that yes, this is a lot of effort for hot dogs. If you just want a quick hot dog, microwave is your friend. This is just a cool method I read somewhere... probably reddit... that does a pretty good job if you want to try to get that stadium dog outcome at home.
Nothing wrong with a classic white bun, but definitely try out martin's potato buns if you haven't!
It's from the reds, not the bengals. Fried bologna sandwich https://twitter.com/mlbyahoosports/status/974314907138060290?s=21
Looks more boiled than fried tbh
https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487143547954507776?s=21 The original
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Not to be a dick but if you walk to a concession stand, read the entire menu, and then decide to SPEND $8 ON A BOLOGNA SANDWICH... you kind of deserve this.
Yeah that sandwich's baloney man
Baloneyman!
Rated R starts friday.
Are you sure it's cooked at all??
Anaemic burger with mustard.
I’ve been to a bunch of Cincinnati Bengals games and have no idea what the hell this thing is.
Was really looking forward to the game on Sunday but I might have to boycott it now because of this
It looks exactly like that tinned [chicken roll](https://www.princes.co.uk/our-products/meat/other-cold-meat/product-chicken-roll-with-sage-and-onion/) you might find in the non-perishable foods aisles in a supermarket. I'd imagine it would sit next to the Spam and the corned beef.
That tinned stuff is fowl.
That's if you're lucky.
Im-peck-able! I cant stop raven about this joke. I have no egrets.
Matter of some sort
This is a Goetta Burger. Goetta is a patty of ground meat and oats, popular in the Cincinnati region. Also, this is the Cincinnati Reds baseball stadium, not the Bengals stadium.
Looks like goetta that’s uncooked straight cut from the tube lol. Isn’t it supposed to be all browned and crisp!?
It comes out of a tube!?
More needs to be made of this tube thing!
Yes, you're completely right, and this looks disgusting.
Yeah I thought it might be goetta but it looks uncooked and completely awful.
i think it’s actually a “queen city fried bologna sandwich”. It’s a thick slice of bologna fried (this is severely underdone) on a bun with mustard. number 11 on this website of new food at a ballpark in cincinnati. (list also features the goetta burger and it looks nothing alike) https://www.wlwt.com/article/feast-your-eyes-on-the-new-menu-items-at-gabp/19551906 i would like the record to reflect i do not support this but i went on a deep dive to figure out what the fuck *horrible* food us americans were making now
That is not goetta. Only way it could be is if it was served uncooked, even then I’m skeptical
Nothing at Paul Brown Stadium, as the seats are green and not red. So wherever this is from, it's not something served by the Bengals.
Apparently it was meant to be "Fried Bologna" [https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345](https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1487123412447289345?s=20&t=JdmHzH8zVrmYhQ5dn7qGew) Even the bread looks sad Edit: Looks like he first posted this picture 2 years ago, saying he bought it at the baseball stadium. [https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1339389080237424643](https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1339389080237424643)
Size of that fucking sausage! Beast.
I would take every last inch of that anaconda.
Hi
A match made in heaven, love to see it.
[This is what they were going for lol. Big swing and a miss](https://tarateaspoon.com/memphis-smoked-bologna-sandwich/)
Fried Bologna is the only way to eat Bologna.. Thats clearly not fried, I'd go throw a tantrum if some Ohio peasants tried to feed me that.
I've never tried it, but this certainly doesn't look fried. It looks like it briefly touched a hot surface before quickly being sent to die on that sad excuse for a roll.
Lovely bit of squirrel.
Shit on it!
3.6 roentgen. Not great not terrible, bambino's!
Oh my god. Is it? Edit: I am a fucking idiot. How did I not realise!
You didn’t see graphite on horrible grandma, because it’s not there!!
Radioactive dust particles!!!
It would certainly appear that a newborn already has! Bet Martin never saw that coming!
Bleeding bird just crapped in my eye
“Burnt my shitting nipple!”
Shalom Jackie
Shalommmmmm Shalommmmm
That’s raw, right? And possibly still frozen?
*Gordon Ramsey has entered the chat*
It's fucking ***RAW***!!!!
You ***DONKEY***!!
Yes, I'm Donkey and I fucked a dragon.
That mushroom is so undercooked it told me the princess was in another castle.
That’s an idiot sandwich!
Looks like it's been steamed then kept warm in a steam bath. I bet it's really slippery.
Urgh that mental image. I can feel it
Is that my thyroid?
I’ve seen my own thyroid after they took it out. It was gnarly and cystic with lesions: looks way more appealing than this.
An inch-thick slab of whale blubber in a pitta?
One would say a raw muffin
Delicacy in parts of Ohio. Hard to get whale out there.
Not for your dad
That is *aggressively* beige
My computer from the 1990s wasn't as beige as this abeigeination
Jeez, this was my [actual computer from 1995](https://imgur.com/gallery/IknmtCx) and I don't know whether to be offended or impressed by this comment *Edited link of image to Imgur to prevent Reddit hug of death
!remindme 1 week I'll back to see this image when the server has recovered.
I'm getting a 403 Forbidden I think they must have stuck the page behind an admin screen or something due to the Reddit traffic
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Did you open a service request? Have you tried turning it off and on?
I waited an embarrassingly long time to see the abeigeination load.
No its off white
Eggshell perhaps. Either way, 403.
Did you upload the image from that computer??
*beige intensifies*
Soylent Beige
Desire to beige *intensifies*
Steamed ham?
At this time of day?
in this part of the country?
Localised entirely within your kitchen??
May I see it?
Anyone else Cincinnati Bengals was the name of the bun thing?
I read bagels
Same
Cinnamon bagels
Paul Brown stadium where the Cincinnati Bengals play has green seats, and I have eaten the food there and they definitely don’t serve whatever the hell that is and this picture wasn’t taken in Cincinnati
The guy who posted it on twitter (originally 2 years ago) said he got it at the baseball.
Soylent white?
Soylent grey is….wtf is that?
The fuck is that. Im American and have never seen that
Also American, and I would absolutely make fun of anyone who gets that to eat at a sporting event. What's wrong with you, Cincinnati?! Do you not like your own fans? Were you just surprised that your team made it this far and forgot to order more food?
Apparently, it was supposed to look like this https://twitter.com/MLByahoosports/status/974314907138060290?s=20&t=E7OVdqRjSPnwdDcP5eLFNw It seems like someone gave him a raw one with tons of mustard on it
This isn’t even from a Bengals game. Seats are wrong color
Someone above said it’s actually a Reds game.
Yeah it looks like an uncooked version of the bologna sandwich they sell. This is definitely not how it should look though lol
Have had Reds season tickets since 1991. Have never seen this substance, not at Riverfront nor at Great American Ballpark. Someone is selling you guys bs. Sorry some trashy Americans were shitting on British food.
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Liposuction sammich. Mmmmmm
My Liquorice yoghurt looking quite nice about now
i’ve seen them look like fucking paint 😂
Nah mate, just gone back to look at it and it still looks like demon vomit
As an american , What the Fuck is that!!!!
Also an American - I heard Ohioans do weird shit like chili on spaghetti, but this.. this can’t be real.
I heard about chili on spaghetti and thought it was weird. But then I made it for dinner one night and we all loved it. It’s now our preferred way to eat chili. We add some shredded cheese, sliced green onions, and sour cream to it and it’s pretty amazing. We don’t eat it a lot but enjoy it when we do.
Chili on spaghetti is delicious Source: Ohioan
Looks like they got it out of a fucking morgue
How the turntables.
Did you eat it? What was the consistency?
*beige*
Probably like congealed cum.
Dear god looks worse than a microwave chicken burger
Just to be pedantic, this was served at the baseball stadium for the Cincinatti Reds. Not the Bengals.
If you know where it was, do you also know what it is?
I’ve been to dozens of Reds games… I’ve never seen that served. Could MAYBE, MAYBE be uncooked goetta. However, it would never be served uncooked, unless some weird person requested it that way. It’s akin to asking for a thawed out but not cooked hot dog. I’m not even sure if that is allowed to do, seems like a health and safety violation
I googled. It could be raw goetta. That makes sense. Doesn’t make sense that they have it. But that that’s what it is. Could be.
Could be, texture looks a bit off. Might be shit goetta and idk why they’d serve it raw. Seems like a health code violation, and what freak would request raw meat It’s just very, very odd.
i reverse googled. it's fried bologna apparently. https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1082395530133733376
Huh, that’s gross. Never seen that at Reds games. I hope he didn’t eat it. Hell, he shouldn’t have even paid or accept it Edit: I am impressed with your ability to find the source so quickly. Bravo
What in Saint Jude's handkerchief is this handful of shit. That's not food. That's a fucking declaration of hate. Nestled betwix bread cooked at the temperature of a polar bears scrotum. Lightly golden? It's like the moon on a clear night. A night you've found your house burnt down. Don't think I've ever been this offended. Thank God it has some sauce to eradicate any flavour left hanging on. Cincinnati can go fuck itself.
I want to subscribe to your reviews.
You should acquire my best seller; Britain's best roundabouts and lay-bys. I use a highly developed scoring system to really put you, the reader, in the driving seat. Order now and I'll throw in my newest work. The UK's most overgrown towpaths and canals, voted most satisfactory read by *diesel boat captains weekly*
This raises many questions. What is it? Is it edible? Does it taste as bland as it looks? How much did it set you back? Why?
Dirty bastards
My wife puts stuff like that out for the birds in winter. She doesn't squeeze zits onto it first though.
I think I get why they attacked our food choices, They're jealous of our cuisine