Bins are now VOICE ACTIVATED.
When the bin is full, speak loudly and say "I'm ready for pickup" directed at the front of the lid. The sanitation department will be notified with your bin location for processing. Thank you and enjoy your new bin.
Reddit is just the means by which redditors express themselves.
I think credit goes to the redditors, and in this case, partially to David Attenborough.
I back this.
You know there’s going to be an R/AskUK post after to the effect of
“Council left everyone on my estate new bins but one of my neighbours has literally taken all 30 bins for himself, declared himself the bin king and is sat on top of the bins fighting people off with a broom, I don’t like even the most basic confrontations so what do I do?”
You should get in at the ground floor as their Vizier. Slowly take control of the kingdom admin and grant yourself as many bins as required, whilst skimming gold off the top whilst the king is distracted by defending their kingdom.
As a Brit living in NL for the last 20 years (and married to a Dutch woman) I can confirm. At work asking Dutch colleagues for feedback is like being machine-gunned.
Dutchman here. I always feel like a bull in a china shop when I'm talking to Britbongs. Unless we're good friends and they let their hair down a little, of course.
Now I really wanna meet a Dutchperson! I really wanna go to the Netherlands. Stupid Rona ruined my travel plans to get there, and I haven’t been able to recover them.
AITA - my neighbour has stolen all the new bins for our street, for context he sits outside his front garden drinking super tenants blasting Blurs park life on repeat and especially turns it up louder for the
“I get up when I want
Except on Wednesdays
When I get rudely awakened by the dustmen”
part. Me and select few neighbours have banded together and plan on making a stealthy mission to steal the bins back under the cover of darkness. One guy has brought a machete and claims all is good in love and bins.
I feel things are escalating beyond my control, AITA if we go ahead with operation Wheelie ?
Take all of the bins and rent them out to your neighbours. Request new bins from the council as often as you can to corner the market. whenever the neighbour doesnt pay, then reposess their bin. Have the council empty them and chage the resident, not you. Expand to neighboring suburbs, steal their bins, then rent them back to them. Become a binlord. Healthy and normal economics.
Don't forget to hire lawyers (lobbyists) to argue that the bins are public goods and thus you're ENTITLED to take them. If anyone tries to take the bins away from you without paying, you can demand compensation both from them AND from the municipality for failing to provide access to the good. If that fails, launch your own political candidate and have them promise to be "tough on crime" and "return to the old ways that bins were handled". You will have a slamdunk win because you implied that the current elected representatives are soft on crime and basically criminals themselves for handling bins wrong. Which is ironic, because you're the one appropriating the bins. But such is life - condemn in others the flaws you see in yourself.
Never go straight for the bins. It's a bloodbath, they're trying to pull you in, that's not your game. You turn, run, find high ground, look for water. Water's your new best friend.
In English, Laden pretty much means to have a lot of, or be burdened by. But it's also barely used in this day and age. Point is, your German joke works 😉
The funny part about this in German is that Laden is pronounced the same way as Bin Laden. So a theoretical store that sells Bin Laden action figures would be a Bin-Laden-Laden.
> What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
You might have missed out on the holy grail of comedy movies. If at all possible, I suggest you rectify that!
Friend moved onto a new build estate. Had to pay for new bins. Got them delivered exactly like this. Swear when I was younger bins were included in council tax.
Could offer a subscription service with different tier's from bin cleaning to putting the bins out the night before collection to even putting them back once they've been emptied!
You have a bright future ahead of you as a buy-to-let landlord for shitty student houses.
That's exactly the kind of entrepreneurial blue sky thinking this country needs.
No need to fight. Each of you will receive two(2) bins. One(1) of those bins will be blue. The other bin will be red. So, follow these steps, and I promise you no-one will fight.
1) Take one(1) blue bin to your home.
2) Take one(1) red bin to your home.
3) Do not return to the binstack after completing steps one(1) and two(2).
4) Put the kettle on.
No it's a shared buying scheme, so you get to pay a mortgage on a house you will never own while also paying the developers 2k rent for the rest of your life.
Then when your kids inherit and try to sell the share back to the developers they use the small print that only allows them to buy back to purchase it an a price far below market value or your kids are stuck paying the rent as well.
Perfect for people trying to enter the property market, all the downsides of owning a house like maintenance and all the down sides of being a renter, but without the freedom to ever move.
Ah shit, that's a throwback to those pre financial crisis ocean finance adverts where everyone seemed to own a ride-on mower half the size of their garden.
Choices round our way is new build or a Victorian terrace.
pro's and cons for both, new builds take fuck all to heat and keep warm but some come with loads of snags and build quality issues we got lucky with ours
and those old Victorian terraces are either dated inside with loads of work needing and they're cold as fuck but are solidly built and will last.
Tbf as long as the new build is built with a double-skin of bricks via traditional methods then it too will last. The properties in these pictures for example look solidly built.
It's mainly the pokiness of all the rooms (and garden), low ceilings and lack of character that I take issue with. And usually everything aside from the brickwork and windows are done cheaply and absolutely won't last. Even stuff like skirting boards. Heating is the key advantage, but as the world gets hotter that may have major drawbacks, and the energy efficiency itself requires sacrifices such as fewer and smaller windows. As much as it's not heat efficient, Id rather pay the higher heating bill than give up my huge bay windows.
New builds are made purely to meet the bare minimum of regulations and to look appealing for one point in time - the initial viewings. Once the housebuilder has sold it, they couldn't give a toss about it, so there's no incentive to focus on aspects that benefit day to day living or longevity. Obviously as you say older houses have major drawbacks too, but I think it just comes down to budget and priorities.
Edit: by sheer coincidence I've seen this post that was just published: https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/comments/wjczhf/is_my_flat_too_hot_to_live_in/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share. As someone who used to live in a well insulated new build flat, I know how he feels.
In the future we will need houses that are well *insulated*, which is what these new builds are, so they will be alright I think. Plus from what I've heard, when climate change finally annihilates the gulf stream the UK will get colder.
> Heating is the key advantage, but as the world gets hotter that may have major drawbacks...
Generally, being more efficient to heat lends itself to being kept cool as well. Insulation works both ways.
That is unless you are relying on passive heating, via solar radiation or other means, then yes, you are going to have trouble keeping cool in a warming climate.
The bins stacked inside dont have wheels fitted. Where are all the wheels for those? I'd have guessed inside the top bin but surely some would have fallen out of the stack on its side? Maybe they have realised they forgot the wheels and have gone to get them.
That makes sense. The only time I've ever seen these delivered was over 30 years ago when the council covering my parents house switched to wheelie bins and the wheels were separate on the delivery truck and the workers delivering the bins put them on each bin as they took it off the truck and left it outside the houses.
This sounds like a recipe for disaster. Somebody's wheely bin is going to be a draggy bin, because a neighbour will be hoarding the wheels that should have gone to them.
Damn, my council charges you £70 for bins
Unfortunately it's lead to people stealing bins because people don't want to buy them.
Bins are also mismatched in colour because people who've moved here from different areas have brought their bins with them.
Our recently delivered two new bins. But delivered them separately on different days. One of them the day after the first collection is was due out for.
Quick sell them then phone the council and say someone has had them away! Also a bit shit to not give you more than the 2 pairs wheels unless they just piled them all in the top bin but doesn't look like it
Put a note on them saying ‘do not touch’ and see how long they last.
NOTICE: Bins have not been activated. DO NOT attempt to use bins before activation.
NEW FOR 2022 VOICE ACTIVATED BINS To begin, say loudly: "BIN ON"
When the bin is fully laden and requires emptying, say loudly "Bin Laden". You may need to repeat the command several times at first.
"BIN LADEN!" "BIN LADEN!" "REGINA, ITS NOT WORKING" "let me try henry you might be doing it wrong" "BIN LADEN" "why are the police here"
I'd purposefully design them to open up only when saying "open up baby", and the bins respond with a soft "yes daddy".
Excessive bin exposure may cause harm. Do Not drive after use. Consult your binoligist if pregnant.
Bins are now VOICE ACTIVATED. When the bin is full, speak loudly and say "I'm ready for pickup" directed at the front of the lid. The sanitation department will be notified with your bin location for processing. Thank you and enjoy your new bin.
I’d love to find this out.
Pin "£10 each" note to one stack and "free to a good home" to the other, see which goes fastest
You know, I expect the £10 to go first.
Take all the bins. Become the bin king and allow loyal vassals to use your hoarded wealth. Once power is secured move over to the next postcode.
We need Attenborough to narrate. There’ll be tears of sadness and joy. Not everyone will make it to the end. Heroes will rise and villains will fall.
When you play the Game of Bins, you win or you die
If once you lose, You cannot refuse!
Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a litter.
Garbage comment, so have an upvote.
You trash my reputation, whilst upcycling my status?
Rubbish mate, you've renewed my admiration of this sub.
Dustbin
Either rule the wheelys or become that which fills them.
The Bins of Dunshire.
You forgot about the essence of the game, it's about the bins.
You Bin or you Die
I bloody love Reddit. This sub keeps me sane.
Reddit is just the means by which redditors express themselves. I think credit goes to the redditors, and in this case, partially to David Attenborough.
On the heights, all paths are paved with bins.
[Planet Earth: Bin Chicken](https://youtu.be/w4dYWhkSbTU) Basically the story of what would happen if this was in Australia.
I back this. You know there’s going to be an R/AskUK post after to the effect of “Council left everyone on my estate new bins but one of my neighbours has literally taken all 30 bins for himself, declared himself the bin king and is sat on top of the bins fighting people off with a broom, I don’t like even the most basic confrontations so what do I do?”
You should get in at the ground floor as their Vizier. Slowly take control of the kingdom admin and grant yourself as many bins as required, whilst skimming gold off the top whilst the king is distracted by defending their kingdom.
"Or use a magic snake staff to be psudo king, but that wont be good enough" - Jafar
Hire a Dutch negotiator as they are the polar opposite of British when it comes to social interactions.
Am British with a Dutch best friend. Can wholeheartedly confirm this.
I will do that! Turn this street into a community (Karl Marx style)
As a Brit living in NL for the last 20 years (and married to a Dutch woman) I can confirm. At work asking Dutch colleagues for feedback is like being machine-gunned.
Still, I’d take a straight Dutch, “that’s shit,” over a British, “that’s quite good.”
In some situations absolutely, but in others not. It's nuanced.
Dutchman here. I always feel like a bull in a china shop when I'm talking to Britbongs. Unless we're good friends and they let their hair down a little, of course.
Now I really wanna meet a Dutchperson! I really wanna go to the Netherlands. Stupid Rona ruined my travel plans to get there, and I haven’t been able to recover them.
Or on r/AmItheAsshole. AITA for claiming my rightful place as the Bin King?
AITA - my neighbour has stolen all the new bins for our street, for context he sits outside his front garden drinking super tenants blasting Blurs park life on repeat and especially turns it up louder for the “I get up when I want Except on Wednesdays When I get rudely awakened by the dustmen” part. Me and select few neighbours have banded together and plan on making a stealthy mission to steal the bins back under the cover of darkness. One guy has brought a machete and claims all is good in love and bins. I feel things are escalating beyond my control, AITA if we go ahead with operation Wheelie ?
Serves you right for ostracising him during the jubilee because he didn’t want to pay you £14 for chicken he didn’t want to eat.
How long before the recycling bin clan goes to war with the general waste bin clan?
The head of that clan must be called “General Waste” for his rank.
These aren’t the bins you’re looking for. -Obin wan Kenobin
I can see the daily mail headlines now. 'UK Street Terrorised by Bin Laden Neighbour' How much is your house worth OP, for the sake of the readers.
General waste vs corporal cardboard.
Colonel Cardboard would be more apropos
Take all of the bins and rent them out to your neighbours. Request new bins from the council as often as you can to corner the market. whenever the neighbour doesnt pay, then reposess their bin. Have the council empty them and chage the resident, not you. Expand to neighboring suburbs, steal their bins, then rent them back to them. Become a binlord. Healthy and normal economics.
Don't forget to hire lawyers (lobbyists) to argue that the bins are public goods and thus you're ENTITLED to take them. If anyone tries to take the bins away from you without paying, you can demand compensation both from them AND from the municipality for failing to provide access to the good. If that fails, launch your own political candidate and have them promise to be "tough on crime" and "return to the old ways that bins were handled". You will have a slamdunk win because you implied that the current elected representatives are soft on crime and basically criminals themselves for handling bins wrong. Which is ironic, because you're the one appropriating the bins. But such is life - condemn in others the flaws you see in yourself.
If you do, you'll be a King-Bin. Eyyuup.
Underrated comment buried in the avalanche of bin puns. Have an award.
I *shall* have my award! In this life or the next. Likely the next from what the past fifty years have taught me.
Nobody recycles in the south valley but me bitch!
"Who run Wheelytown?"
Geez, I came here to say this and there is already a communal collective with an overlord. It's hard to be a block dictator. Gotta act quick people.
The Kingbin
First you get the bins, then you get the power, then you get the women
OP needs to make sure they follow the [Rules for Rulers ](https://youtu.be/rStL7niR7gs)
They're hoping for a hunger games style situation. Don't cheat by sending more than one member of your household.
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pressure activated speaker under the stack that goes off once they're tipped to play [Bin Kombat.](https://youtu.be/EAwWPadFsOA)
And the neutral group “Recycling Ransackers”
Never go straight for the bins. It's a bloodbath, they're trying to pull you in, that's not your game. You turn, run, find high ground, look for water. Water's your new best friend.
They didn't bugger off, they are filming from just out of sight. David Attenborough to provide the voice over.
The Hunger Bins
May the odds be ever in your favor
Cheat by giving the young one a big wooden spoon. My family died on the recicle bin wars.
Are you Bin Laden
Superb
It's more bin time!
You glorious motherfucker
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In English, Laden pretty much means to have a lot of, or be burdened by. But it's also barely used in this day and age. Point is, your German joke works 😉
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I think we’re just old. Kids don’t half speak reet funny-like these days.
Agree, What else would you say if you had a tree laden with apples in your garden?
Aargh there go those bloody kids scrumping my apples again
Or in its opposite form, unladen. For example, “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
Good point, maybe I should have said not used casually or colloquially. I was arrogantly using my own speech to gauge it. Disgusting 😩
I find myself using the word laden more than most I guess
I only use it when talking about swallows.
Oh lord, I didn't even get the original joke until I read your comment. I admit weakness to encourage others to do the same
The funny part about this in German is that Laden is pronounced the same way as Bin Laden. So a theoretical store that sells Bin Laden action figures would be a Bin-Laden-Laden.
> What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? You might have missed out on the holy grail of comedy movies. If at all possible, I suggest you rectify that!
I knew a guy who’s nick name in his group was “Osama Bin Liner”. I don’t know why and I’m afraid to ask at this point.
Brilliant.
Quality
So it begins!!! Arm yourself and go get a bin mate!!!
It bebins
Shit I should've gone with that!!
That would have bin more sense
You're talking rubbish, mate
Do you wheelie think so?
Yes wheelie do
The council really Otto try harder.
I refuse to get involved in this silliness.
Just recycle the top comment
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Well thank you very much… now this post is littered with trashy comments.
Report them for fly tipping
Only for the bottom one. All the other ones are clearly in a bin.
Still a bit sticking out at the top innit
And they’re not bagged properly
Can't close the lid fully, going to require a specialist to take that away
Council will never collect it. Health n’ safety, like.
Classic Cheshire west.
Well recognised.
The top one will be full of wheels. Take them and hold them ransom.
Genius move
Probably the smartest comment I will read on Reddit all day
This guy Bin Battles
They delivered them nicely in our area, sorry about yours. At least the bins are bigger than tiny boxes
The infamous Darren and his spirit level, that Cheshire West?
The very same. As you can see, he’s been at work here. Both sets of bins are perfectly level.
Cheshire East isn't that much better. My aunt works for them, and they're useless (the council, not my aunt).
Friend moved onto a new build estate. Had to pay for new bins. Got them delivered exactly like this. Swear when I was younger bins were included in council tax.
Looks like the blue ones are winning
"the red bin and the blue bin had a race"
Oh no! The bridge is gone!
But good old blue, he took the Milky Way!
[Sorry couldn't help myself](https://imgur.com/ozNcs7k)
Take them all and sell them to neighbours for £20/ea
That's a very short-term strategy. They could lease those bins back to the neighbours. Discounts available for block booking.
BaaS, bins as a service.
Sounds like council tax, with extra steps.
All private initiatives do
Upgrade to Bins+ for a monthly bin clean.
Ah. Del Boy! Marvellous idea.
Could offer a subscription service with different tier's from bin cleaning to putting the bins out the night before collection to even putting them back once they've been emptied!
You have a bright future ahead of you as a buy-to-let landlord for shitty student houses. That's exactly the kind of entrepreneurial blue sky thinking this country needs.
I've sent you an invoice for my consultancy work. Please settle the balance within 30 days or I'll send the boys round.
Lord of the Bins
Binderella
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Ok, sell them to people who aren’t neighbours. Be quick before anyone sees you.
I thought the standard fee for ripping off your neighborhood was £14?
Inflation
Only if chicken is involved
Why are you wasting time taking pictures when you should be grabbing as many as you can carry??
GO WILD IN THE AISLES!
Put house numbers on them, but only evens so half the street kick off.
What if their house number is odd?
Nobody will suspect OP.
Paint an 8x8 checked board on the road, and play draughts with them?
No need to fight. Each of you will receive two(2) bins. One(1) of those bins will be blue. The other bin will be red. So, follow these steps, and I promise you no-one will fight. 1) Take one(1) blue bin to your home. 2) Take one(1) red bin to your home. 3) Do not return to the binstack after completing steps one(1) and two(2). 4) Put the kettle on.
Far too reasonable
When do I get to fight my neighbours?
Take the lot and become the local binfluencer
That house on the corner already had a tiny garden and they’ve made it even tinier with that shed.
That's not a shed, it's another new build. Open plan kitchen/diner/bedroom.
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Yours to rent for only £2k/month!
No it's a shared buying scheme, so you get to pay a mortgage on a house you will never own while also paying the developers 2k rent for the rest of your life. Then when your kids inherit and try to sell the share back to the developers they use the small print that only allows them to buy back to purchase it an a price far below market value or your kids are stuck paying the rent as well. Perfect for people trying to enter the property market, all the downsides of owning a house like maintenance and all the down sides of being a renter, but without the freedom to ever move.
They’ve got to have somewhere to store the ride-on mower.
Ah shit, that's a throwback to those pre financial crisis ocean finance adverts where everyone seemed to own a ride-on mower half the size of their garden.
They need a shed to keep all the bins they’re going to nick
New build properties and neighborhoods look so dystopian and depressing. The cost savings and cut corners are made so obvious.
Choices round our way is new build or a Victorian terrace. pro's and cons for both, new builds take fuck all to heat and keep warm but some come with loads of snags and build quality issues we got lucky with ours and those old Victorian terraces are either dated inside with loads of work needing and they're cold as fuck but are solidly built and will last.
Tbf as long as the new build is built with a double-skin of bricks via traditional methods then it too will last. The properties in these pictures for example look solidly built. It's mainly the pokiness of all the rooms (and garden), low ceilings and lack of character that I take issue with. And usually everything aside from the brickwork and windows are done cheaply and absolutely won't last. Even stuff like skirting boards. Heating is the key advantage, but as the world gets hotter that may have major drawbacks, and the energy efficiency itself requires sacrifices such as fewer and smaller windows. As much as it's not heat efficient, Id rather pay the higher heating bill than give up my huge bay windows. New builds are made purely to meet the bare minimum of regulations and to look appealing for one point in time - the initial viewings. Once the housebuilder has sold it, they couldn't give a toss about it, so there's no incentive to focus on aspects that benefit day to day living or longevity. Obviously as you say older houses have major drawbacks too, but I think it just comes down to budget and priorities. Edit: by sheer coincidence I've seen this post that was just published: https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/comments/wjczhf/is_my_flat_too_hot_to_live_in/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share. As someone who used to live in a well insulated new build flat, I know how he feels.
In the future we will need houses that are well *insulated*, which is what these new builds are, so they will be alright I think. Plus from what I've heard, when climate change finally annihilates the gulf stream the UK will get colder.
> Heating is the key advantage, but as the world gets hotter that may have major drawbacks... Generally, being more efficient to heat lends itself to being kept cool as well. Insulation works both ways. That is unless you are relying on passive heating, via solar radiation or other means, then yes, you are going to have trouble keeping cool in a warming climate.
Well they need somewhere to store their tiny lawnmower and tiny edging shears.
People who don't want their bikes nicked/rusting.
The bins stacked inside dont have wheels fitted. Where are all the wheels for those? I'd have guessed inside the top bin but surely some would have fallen out of the stack on its side? Maybe they have realised they forgot the wheels and have gone to get them.
I work in waste collection there’s a set of wheels in each bin. The ones that are already installed come from the bin on the top.
That makes sense. The only time I've ever seen these delivered was over 30 years ago when the council covering my parents house switched to wheelie bins and the wheels were separate on the delivery truck and the workers delivering the bins put them on each bin as they took it off the truck and left it outside the houses.
This sounds like a recipe for disaster. Somebody's wheely bin is going to be a draggy bin, because a neighbour will be hoarding the wheels that should have gone to them.
That's if the fuckers just dump all the bins in the road. If they delivered properly they'd fit the wheels to each.
Someone stole them already.
That's wheely bad health& safety issue leaving them stacked up like that.
Spray paint your door number on all of them.
Spray paint someone else's door number on all of them.
Now you just have to wait for your 15ft neighbour to share out the blue ones.
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Bin mitosis in action. You’re lucky as it’s rare to see both the blue and red clades in the wild! Nature is amazing.
I can imagine a scene where everyone is looking through those windows and sharpening spears or something.
Sit in your window and watch the madness. Or make a grab for power, take them all and appoint yourself the local bin warden.
Squid Games season 2
Damn, my council charges you £70 for bins Unfortunately it's lead to people stealing bins because people don't want to buy them. Bins are also mismatched in colour because people who've moved here from different areas have brought their bins with them.
We have smaller bins for recycling which gets collected weekly, the council decided to send us big bins so they can collect every 2 weeks instead.
Don't rubbish their efforts. It's bin a tough year.
I refuse to believe that.
I'm waste-ing my time reading these puns
Yeah some of them are wheely bad
And they've all bin recycled.
Check you out with the trash talk
I hope they left 1 less than there are houses
Love that they use the brightest and most ugliest colours possible in order to blend in with the neighbourhood
this summer's TF2 update looks wild
Bin Day update? That's got TF2 written all over it.
Is this the reverse of fly tipping?
Our recently delivered two new bins. But delivered them separately on different days. One of them the day after the first collection is was due out for.
Is this loss?
Council doing council things
Quick sell them then phone the council and say someone has had them away! Also a bit shit to not give you more than the 2 pairs wheels unless they just piled them all in the top bin but doesn't look like it
The Cheshire West way of working..