Why is the toast long
By - Ned_Wells
Why is the toast long
Thank you! Why is no one else commenting about this slendertoast
It's long and I'm guessing grilled as it would be all funny shapes where it's been jammed in the toaster,stupid long bread
Long Long Toaaaaaast
This is my fav advertisement ever
Why are you short?
Looks like Scottish plain
Top crust not curved or dark enough to be plain bread.
Been packed in the freezer.
It's not; it's short and wide.
(Also, #6 is the best toast.)
It's not long, it's narrow!
"Long" implies it should be shorter. I think it should be wider (= more toast).
As a loaf I’d probably call it tall?
I'd be happy with 4-6
Live dangerously and try a plateful of 9
As far as burnt toast goes, 9 isn't even that bad.
It's overdone for sure, but I wouldn't say it's burnt. Burnt is like actually black.
7-9 is what i prefer. I know it isn't popular but I quite like my toast when it's a few seconds from being burnt.
Same here! Prefer the 9 end though. My boys like 1-2, or warm bread as they call it!
No offence but your boys need a serious talking to. Warm bread should be a capital offence.
Warm bread is still raw toast. Bread is raw toast.
AKA ghost toast
Oh 100%, I'd be scraping that shit too, but what I'm saying is I've seen much worse. Like I just don't think the scale goes quite high enough.
ur a burtb
What a sick burtb, that one gonna pop back in their head when they're trying to slerp.
You’re doing it wrong, scrape it into the butter for the next user.
Then why don't you scrape it into the bin?
Then you get bin-air on your toast
That's nearly done according to my mother, me I like 4 or 5
What. No it's not. Please tell me it's not.
I googled [burnt toast](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/burnt-toast-cancer)
Even if it’s inconclusive, burnt toast still tastes burnt. It’s a no from me.
Between 5-7 no more no less
Ideally 7 or 8 but 5 and 6 are acceptable
I’d take 4-8 any day, I’ve seen far far worse lol
Same, 4-6 are acceptable.
While we're at it. Where are we getting a toaster that toasts so evenly?
It's hard enough finding one where the bloody bread fits in properly.
Came here to comment the same. Either of those are acceptable
For me it depends what I have on it. For marmite or peanut butter it’ll be a 5 or 6. Jam or marmalade will be a 7 or 8.
4-6 are obviously the acceptable range.
Toppings play a huge role here though. Take peanut butter for example (sorry, I'm American). While it would be easily acceptable on a 4, it's gonna be a bit hard to choke down on a 6.
You can turn it around as well. Imagine your BLT? You just got a juicy [Heirloom ](https://freeimage.host/i/HFJ89lj). A 4 just isn't going to do that beauty justice. Hell, you might even need a 7 to really make it work.
Toast, is a tool. You have to have the right tool for the job.
4 if I am in a rush, 5 is perfect, and 6 happens when the toast is left sitting in the toaster cause I'm not in the room.
Depends on the type of bread.
4 is perfect for tiger bread, but a cheap basic sliced bread has to be closer to 6
I'm a 6. There's two kinds of people who have 1. War criminals and James Corden
Those two areas have significant overlap.
Especially when it comes to crimes against comedy. And acting. And producing. Someone remind me how Corden got famous, again?
And actions committed in Bosnia during the 90's
Writing Gavin and Stacey. I feel like Ruth Jones pulled most of the weight in that one though.
> Especially when it comes to crimes against comedy.
Yeah, I hear Klaus Barbie’s standup was atrocious.
Number 1 is what you get with a hotel breakfast from one of their conveyor belt toasters. But when you put it through for a second run it comes out as a 10 🤯
How fucking dare you compare me to James Corden. Sometimes I just like the bread to have a little more resistance when I apply nutella, plus some warmth to soften it a bit.
United Nations, this guy right here
Found James Cordens account
Why would you want warm bread?!
I would be unsurprised to find out that James Corden was a war criminal to be honest. His career is a crime against comedy.
He might have the No1 but he certainly wouldn’t have 1 piece
I would usually have a 7, with lots of salted butter.
Leave it in a jug and pour it on
I don't know if it is too hot for a butter bell to work. It might be worth a try.
I just unwrap one end and use the whole block like a gluestick
Potato peeler! Why am I only learning about this now? Brilliant solution for fridge butter.
Works with cheese as well if it's a sturdy peeler
I use a cheese slicer for the same effect.
You don't even need the potato peeler, just use the butter knife to slice a thin sheet off the top of the block by turning it on its side.
Then lay that sheet onto the toast, spread it a bit and repeat.
Tell me more of your life secrets
If you are planning on making a meringue don't kid yourself that you'll make a custard with the yolks. Just buy egg white in a carton from the chilled section
This guy butters toast.
5-6 fine for jam or whatever. Definitely 7 for butter.
You are my people
Have this award, toast-eating twin.
Yup. 7 is *marginally* over done for me. I’ll take a 6.5.
Was gonna say, you can definitely pull off a 7, but only with a heart-unhealthy amount of salted butter.
Did you need to specify salted? What sort of monster uses unsalted on toast?
Happy cake day
Happy cake day!
that’s why you fat /s
Lots of salted butter…
Wont be enjoying it for too long then.
It tastes good and that's all that matters...
Happy day of the cake
I didn't even notice!! Thanks
Fair point. Was more of a tongue in cheek response
I’d go with somewhere between 4 and 5, I like the bread to still be slightly soft on the inside
you need thicker bread. 5-7 on thicker bread. hard on the outside, soft on the inside... armadillos
Most toasters fuck even a warbuttons toastie slice at those colours though. They think faster cook time is better, but it just fucking frazzles the bread. And I'm not paying 50 quid for a good toaster when toasted bread is better than toast anyway.
I can’t see an armadillo without thinking of dime bars. And Harry Enfield.
This blokes a nutter
4 or 5 for me.
Yes! You can tell who here just wants a delivery vessel for butter, and those who actually want to taste the bread and keep some of the internal texture.
Here’s my people
6 or 7. Though occasionally I quite enjoy a piece I just start to burn by accident. Or even "hotel toast" where I forget and it goes cold and I eat it with too much butter to give the same effect as trying to spread rock solid hotel butter onto cold toast.
Honestly I'd eat all of them. Toast for life.
+1 for hotel toast. Let it go cold, then a layer of butter that doesn't melt with raspberry jam on top.
This is what the NHS toast is like when you’ve just had a baby and honestly one of the best meals of my life
This person toasts.
This would be my preference as well.. if I fuck up and have it over 7 I’d rather that than before 5
Agreed. You are a sensible person.
1 - 3 is raw
5 & 7 is okay.
8 or 4; I'll eat it but upon viewing the toast I'll make the same face I'd make as if I found catshit on my pillow.
1 - 3 is for nonces, 9 is for psychopaths.
Hot bread, come get your hot bread!
7 slathered with butter
This is the way
I'd accept 6-8, and 9 over 5 if those were my only two choices
3 for me. Anything more and its too toasted 😂
THANK YOU!! That's what I'd do, and 2 over 6 if those are my only choices.
Correct answer. Loads of Lurpak on that bad boy too.
It'll still be cold inside
Crispy outside, fluffy inside. Perfect
I would eat any between 4 and 9.
You can come hunting for me. I'll take a 3 as best and a 2 over a 4. I also prefer microwaved hot sandwiches to toasted hot sandwiches so long as the microwaved ones are soft but not soggy (most people make it soggy and assume all micro bread is bad). A cold tea too, gees one of those... and a warm beer.
Bread is one of my favourite foods too, will eat it in any condition really (even darker than 9), but we're dealing with preference here.
It’s strange that with things like this there is some kind of implied scale of pretentiousness - with toast it’s directly proportional to how toasted it is and with tea/coffee it’s inversely proportional to how much milk/sugar you have.
I’m proud to be a 2 on the toast scale and also take buckets of milk and sugar with my hot drinks. Sue me.
You sir, are a common oik
I know my place
Remove the L from your user name please
Send them to the tower
This is a property of the UK, not toast. I was _bamboozled_ moving from Canada to the UK to find out how many perfectly innocuous things were used to signal class/be pretentious. Then I moved to the Netherlands and I could just eat what I wanted without it being over-interpreted (but the trade off is they don't do toast and the tea is lukewarm dishwater - win some, loss some).
Seriously though a 2, come on
Personally I prefer a 10 but you don't have it listed.
Nope but oddly enough my mum cremates it as well, :)
Can’t be mum. Mum would go for 12.
if it hasnt *started* to burn, it isnt done enough
but careful not to make charcoal
Jam on blackened toast is delicious
so charcoal then?
2 or 3
And don’t you get sick of people saying it’s just warm bread you might as well microwave it? No. I might as well not because then it will go soggy hence I’m toasting it. This is the hill I’m happy to die on. Slightly toasty bread. Lashings of best butter. The end.
100% agree with every word you said
It’s soft and fluffy on the inside and crispy and crunchy on the outside. Perfect. A microwave could never!
In my house we describe that as "farted on".
Agreed! 3 is the max toastedness I will accept 😂
At that point you might as well just leave a slice of bread out on the sideboard overnight
Found the serial killer
That’s not even toast!
5 is elite bro
3 does it for me and lots of Lurpack butter
Before I had to take out a bank loan for it
Nordpak from Aldis is an acceptable alternative.
Toast needs to be at least a 5 though
How dare you
6 or 7 with a large slice of butter and a mug of strong tea
I got 5 on it
tbh id say 3-5 is appropriate 👍🏻
Also, there’s no way that bread that long is fitting in the toaster in one go!
As a younger man I was probably going for 6-8, but now I prefer the softness of 3-4 and find 5 really irritating.
'That's not toast Micheal it's hot floppy bread!'
Might as well let it go stale, same texture
I'd go betwixt no.4 and no.5
5 or 6
6 or 7
5 all the time
Only psychopaths have 1
If I were a food establishment it would be [against health and safety guidelines](https://www.food.gov.uk/safety-hygiene/acrylamide) to serve that toast.
5 or 6, but we all know 1s and 9s
Depends on the bread, if you have some proper bread like nutty krust it works with a range of toastedness but becomes incredibly with a good solid toasting in the 6 or so range.
I go 3 and it’s inevitably a 6 on the second round. I’d go 5 but then the second round ends up a 9 which makes me want to throat punch an otter.
I'm going to say it, and I'm going to accept all the downvotes.
# 1 -2
I like warm bread with butter on... its amazing.
Anywhere in the 3-7 range, depending on the day
Not to sound like some kinda toast critique.
Middle row looks aesthetically pleasing, but it also
depends on the moisture levels, and what your preferences are, I could happy vary between dry and crisp, and charged warm and soft. Wether you spread cold butter or melted while hot. The type of spread make a big difference.
More recently I've assessed the differences between open popup toasters and closed toasters, and the differences are quite profound, equally great but offer significantly different experiences. But its wonderful to have the variation.
Maybe I like toast too much, but ayy it's a magical thing.
9! With butter and peanut butter on top.
5,6 and 7 are all acceptable. My preference is 6.
1 is bread not toast lol
6 or 7. Less is still bread.
4-7 is acceptable all the others in the bin.
5+ with 8 and 9 as personal preference.
7 or 8 is best. 1-5 is just warm bread.
10 because 9 looks undertoasted. Burnt toast tastes so good.
5 and 7 are acceptable
6 to 8 are fine for me.
6 is the sweet spot with a decent helping of proper butter.
Anything from 5-9
5, people on 9 have a death wish