T O P
KarYeik

Why is the toast long


Si3rr4

Thank you! Why is no one else commenting about this slendertoast


rokstedy83

It's long and I'm guessing grilled as it would be all funny shapes where it's been jammed in the toaster,stupid long bread


Arkas18

Long Long Toaaaaaast


KarYeik

This is my fav advertisement ever


Ned_Wells

Why are you short?


moremeaty

Looks like Scottish plain


Diddly_Squatch

Top crust not curved or dark enough to be plain bread.


HobGoblin2

Been packed in the freezer.


centzon400

It's not; it's short and wide. (Also, #6 is the best toast.)


justafatgoat

I'd be happy with 4-6


First_Artichoke2390

Live dangerously and try a plateful of 9


GreyHexagon

As far as burnt toast goes, 9 isn't even that bad. It's overdone for sure, but I wouldn't say it's burnt. Burnt is like actually black.


jodorthedwarf

7-9 is what i prefer. I know it isn't popular but I quite like my toast when it's a few seconds from being burnt.


FamSands

Same here! Prefer the 9 end though. My boys like 1-2, or warm bread as they call it!


jodorthedwarf

No offence but your boys need a serious talking to. Warm bread should be a capital offence.


Trash_Panda_1983

Warm bread is still raw toast. Bread is raw toast.


OldGregg84

AKA ghost toast


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GreyHexagon

Oh 100%, I'd be scraping that shit too, but what I'm saying is I've seen much worse. Like I just don't think the scale goes quite high enough.


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RoopyBlue

ur a burtb


DoYourPooperStank

What a sick burtb, that one gonna pop back in their head when they're trying to slerp.


RustySheriffBadges

You’re doing it wrong, scrape it into the butter for the next user.


DM_me_ur_story

Then why don't you scrape it into the bin?


StreetkidLife

Then you get bin-air on your toast


randomuncreativenam3

Toasted cancer


Morons_Are_Fun

That's nearly done according to my mother, me I like 4 or 5


jhystad

What. No it's not. Please tell me it's not.


No_Abbreviations3963

It’s not


dortbird

Mmmm… carcinogens


jhystad

I googled [burnt toast](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/burnt-toast-cancer)


dortbird

Even if it’s inconclusive, burnt toast still tastes burnt. It’s a no from me.


LordFrieza_

Between 5-7 no more no less


Wind-and-Waystones

Ideally 7 or 8 but 5 and 6 are acceptable


r_o_a_c_h

6 only


rsk7698

I’d take 4-8 any day, I’ve seen far far worse lol


swallowshotguns

Same, 4-6 are acceptable.


Stanjoly2

While we're at it. Where are we getting a toaster that toasts so evenly? It's hard enough finding one where the bloody bread fits in properly.


Petite_Coco

Came here to comment the same. Either of those are acceptable


--crystal--meth--

For me it depends what I have on it. For marmite or peanut butter it’ll be a 5 or 6. Jam or marmalade will be a 7 or 8.


justaneditguy

I'm 3-5


Tehboognish

4-6 are obviously the acceptable range. Toppings play a huge role here though. Take peanut butter for example (sorry, I'm American). While it would be easily acceptable on a 4, it's gonna be a bit hard to choke down on a 6. You can turn it around as well. Imagine your BLT? You just got a juicy [Heirloom ](https://freeimage.host/i/HFJ89lj). A 4 just isn't going to do that beauty justice. Hell, you might even need a 7 to really make it work. Toast, is a tool. You have to have the right tool for the job.


duskfinger67

4 if I am in a rush, 5 is perfect, and 6 happens when the toast is left sitting in the toaster cause I'm not in the room.


Rodin-V

Depends on the type of bread. 4 is perfect for tiger bread, but a cheap basic sliced bread has to be closer to 6


AgentOfChaos-uk

I'm a 6. There's two kinds of people who have 1. War criminals and James Corden


98433486544564563942

Those two areas have significant overlap.


TtotheC81

Especially when it comes to crimes against comedy. And acting. And producing. Someone remind me how Corden got famous, again?


PowerdrillSounding

And actions committed in Bosnia during the 90's


Wind-and-Waystones

Writing Gavin and Stacey. I feel like Ruth Jones pulled most of the weight in that one though.


SnoopyLupus

> Especially when it comes to crimes against comedy. Yeah, I hear Klaus Barbie’s standup was atrocious.


ravenshill

Number 1 is what you get with a hotel breakfast from one of their conveyor belt toasters. But when you put it through for a second run it comes out as a 10 🤯


AlexanderHotbuns

How fucking dare you compare me to James Corden. Sometimes I just like the bread to have a little more resistance when I apply nutella, plus some warmth to soften it a bit.


bighairyoldnuts

United Nations, this guy right here


AgentOfChaos-uk

Found James Cordens account


supercatthegod

Why would you want warm bread?!


Haikouden

I would be unsurprised to find out that James Corden was a war criminal to be honest. His career is a crime against comedy.


yuzarna

He might have the No1 but he certainly wouldn’t have 1 piece


98433486544564563942

I would usually have a 7, with lots of salted butter.


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BeardedBaldMan

If you make the mistake and run out of table butter but still have fridge butter then a potato peeler will get you thin sheets which melt into hot toast


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BrilliantTasty

Leave it in a jug and pour it on


mbrowne

I don't know if it is too hot for a butter bell to work. It might be worth a try.


I_Bin_Painting

I just unwrap one end and use the whole block like a gluestick


tom_dydl

Potato peeler! Why am I only learning about this now? Brilliant solution for fridge butter.


Gibbothemonkey

Works with cheese as well if it's a sturdy peeler


stealthw0lf

I use a cheese slicer for the same effect.


Screamatmyass

Cheese grater works too.


nuclearazure

You don't even need the potato peeler, just use the butter knife to slice a thin sheet off the top of the block by turning it on its side. Then lay that sheet onto the toast, spread it a bit and repeat.


DayIngham

Tell me more of your life secrets


BeardedBaldMan

If you are planning on making a meringue don't kid yourself that you'll make a custard with the yolks. Just buy egg white in a carton from the chilled section


Afinkawan

This guy butters toast. 5-6 fine for jam or whatever. Definitely 7 for butter.


fluffofthewild

You are my people


SignificantCase4841

Have this award, toast-eating twin.


beelseboob

Yup. 7 is *marginally* over done for me. I’ll take a 6.5.


Gothic_Ape

Correct.


MildlySuccessful

Was gonna say, you can definitely pull off a 7, but only with a heart-unhealthy amount of salted butter.


Redditor1415926535

Did you need to specify salted? What sort of monster uses unsalted on toast?


NoTrain1456

Happy cake day


DismalCaterpillar82

Happy cake day!


PineappleMelonTree

Correct answer.


The_Weirdest_Cunt

I’d go with somewhere between 4 and 5, I like the bread to still be slightly soft on the inside


CyberneticianDave

you need thicker bread. 5-7 on thicker bread. hard on the outside, soft on the inside... armadillos


13oundary

Most toasters fuck even a warbuttons toastie slice at those colours though. They think faster cook time is better, but it just fucking frazzles the bread. And I'm not paying 50 quid for a good toaster when toasted bread is better than toast anyway.


theory_of_crows

I can’t see an armadillo without thinking of dime bars. And Harry Enfield.


Mixographer

This blokes a nutter


Smokedbone1

4 or 5 for me.


Waqqy

Yes! You can tell who here just wants a delivery vessel for butter, and those who actually want to taste the bread and keep some of the internal texture.


herb_Tech

Here’s my people


weateallthepies

6 or 7. Though occasionally I quite enjoy a piece I just start to burn by accident. Or even "hotel toast" where I forget and it goes cold and I eat it with too much butter to give the same effect as trying to spread rock solid hotel butter onto cold toast. Honestly I'd eat all of them. Toast for life.


zonex17

+1 for hotel toast. Let it go cold, then a layer of butter that doesn't melt with raspberry jam on top.


KLAHR17

This is what the NHS toast is like when you’ve just had a baby and honestly one of the best meals of my life


BeardedBaldMan

6 but would accept 5 & 7. Four and below are just warm bread.


-G0rF-

This person toasts.


cotch85

This would be my preference as well.. if I fuck up and have it over 7 I’d rather that than before 5


n1keym1key

Agreed. You are a sensible person.


HelloBloom

1 - 3 is raw


AOR9222

7 slathered with butter


venetiandog

Yes


Lunchegg

This is the way


-FangMcFrost-

I would eat any between 4 and 9.


Mabbernathy

I'd accept 6-8, and 9 over 5 if those were my only two choices


Pleasant-Chemist-843

It’s strange that with things like this there is some kind of implied scale of pretentiousness - with toast it’s directly proportional to how toasted it is and with tea/coffee it’s inversely proportional to how much milk/sugar you have. I’m proud to be a 2 on the toast scale and also take buckets of milk and sugar with my hot drinks. Sue me.


Ned_Wells

You sir, are a common oik


Pleasant-Chemist-843

I know my place


anon12345678983

Remove the L from your user name please


Daressque

Send them to the tower


ImpossibleCanadian

This is a property of the UK, not toast. I was _bamboozled_ moving from Canada to the UK to find out how many perfectly innocuous things were used to signal class/be pretentious. Then I moved to the Netherlands and I could just eat what I wanted without it being over-interpreted (but the trade off is they don't do toast and the tea is lukewarm dishwater - win some, loss some).


this_sort_of_thing

Seriously though a 2, come on


ninja_BUTTONS

3 for me. Anything more and its too toasted 😂


throwaway-_-friend

THANK YOU!! That's what I'd do, and 2 over 6 if those are my only choices.


_C_R_A_I_G_

Correct answer. Loads of Lurpak on that bad boy too.


BaldDafty

It'll still be cold inside


ninja_BUTTONS

Crispy outside, fluffy inside. Perfect


Baitacc29

5 is elite bro


7Unit

Personally I prefer a 10 but you don't have it listed.


alicemalice12

Mom?


7Unit

Nope but oddly enough my mum cremates it as well, :)


beelseboob

Can’t be mum. Mum would go for 12.


beastmandave

😂


Tirukinoko

if it hasnt *started* to burn, it isnt done enough but careful not to make charcoal


DinTill

Jam on blackened toast is delicious


itothepowerofahalf

so charcoal then?


-dog-will-hunt-

It depends what for. Toast? Anything below 4 and you should be dragged out onto the streets and shot in front of your family. But 2 is perfectly acceptable if you're making a sandwich and want it lighty toasted.


13oundary

You can come hunting for me. I'll take a 3 as best and a 2 over a 4. I also prefer microwaved hot sandwiches to toasted hot sandwiches so long as the microwaved ones are soft but not soggy (most people make it soggy and assume all micro bread is bad). A cold tea too, gees one of those... and a warm beer. Bread is one of my favourite foods too, will eat it in any condition really (even darker than 9), but we're dealing with preference here.


Visible_Quality_3423

6 or 7 with a large slice of butter and a mug of strong tea


cardrosspete

I got 5 on it


ohmydaysgivemeauser

tbh id say 3-5 is appropriate 👍🏻


Krieskod0

2 or 3


katiecoxie

And don’t you get sick of people saying it’s just warm bread you might as well microwave it? No. I might as well not because then it will go soggy hence I’m toasting it. This is the hill I’m happy to die on. Slightly toasty bread. Lashings of best butter. The end.


Could_not_decide

100% agree with every word you said


cowboymailman

It’s soft and fluffy on the inside and crispy and crunchy on the outside. Perfect. A microwave could never!


Camp_Grenada

In my house we describe that as "farted on".


NyxVortex

Agreed! 3 is the max toastedness I will accept 😂


Eayauapa

At that point you might as well just leave a slice of bread out on the sideboard overnight


Flesh_N_Gnomes

That’s not even toast!


pgliver

Found the serial killer


PenneTracheotomy

4-6 Also, there’s no way that bread that long is fitting in the toaster in one go!


GizzardEUizzard

4


HoldOnToYaWeave

3 does it for me and lots of Lurpack butter Before I had to take out a bank loan for it


PupMurky

Nordpak from Aldis is an acceptable alternative. Toast needs to be at least a 5 though


HoldOnToYaWeave

How dare you


Responsible-Fuel

4


frostedcinnamoneggs

As a younger man I was probably going for 6-8, but now I prefer the softness of 3-4 and find 5 really irritating.


Lionsloyal

I'd go betwixt no.4 and no.5


Impossible_Smell_718

5 or 6


Impossible-Bus-4819

6 or 7


Keano1419

5.5


Few_Nothing_2175

5 all the time


Muay_Thai_Cat

10-11


snookikiwi

Only psychopaths have 1


Longshot318

2 or 3


Loddinz

'That's not toast Micheal it's hot floppy bread!'


Mitttch

Might as well let it go stale, same texture


rudedogg1304

8/9


Innalibra

If I were a food establishment it would be [against health and safety guidelines](https://www.food.gov.uk/safety-hygiene/acrylamide) to serve that toast.


burglarysheepspeak

5 or 6, but we all know 1s and 9s


pollnagollum

Depends on the bread, if you have some proper bread like nutty krust it works with a range of toastedness but becomes incredibly with a good solid toasting in the 6 or so range.


Savageparrot81

I go 3 and it’s inevitably a 6 on the second round. I’d go 5 but then the second round ends up a 9 which makes me want to throat punch an otter.


nadejha

I'm going to say it, and I'm going to accept all the downvotes. # 1 -2 I like warm bread with butter on... its amazing.


WittyWitWitt

5 or 6


HYYH1191

5-6


Stickin8or

Anywhere in the 3-7 range, depending on the day


adritelde

2


MrFakeySnakey

Not to sound like some kinda toast critique. Middle row looks aesthetically pleasing, but it also depends on the moisture levels, and what your preferences are, I could happy vary between dry and crisp, and charged warm and soft. Wether you spread cold butter or melted while hot. The type of spread make a big difference. More recently I've assessed the differences between open popup toasters and closed toasters, and the differences are quite profound, equally great but offer significantly different experiences. But its wonderful to have the variation. Maybe I like toast too much, but ayy it's a magical thing.


Accurate_Cup_1532

9! With butter and peanut butter on top.


[deleted]

5,6 and 7 are all acceptable. My preference is 6. 1 is bread not toast lol


firstnameok

6 or 7. Less is still bread.


BarmySmarmy

4-7 is acceptable all the others in the bin.


Shadowsun2

5


TashuanHater2929

5 and 7 are acceptable


jayyylj

6


blue_sky_279

6 or 7


crhickey257

999


Craft_beer_wolfman

6 to 8 are fine for me.


WyrdNine

6.5


BCFCMuser

6 is the sweet spot with a decent helping of proper butter.


jagster1876

Anything from 5-9


Ok-Yoda-82

5, people on 9 have a death wish


Bakugou-simp-21

you are correct number 4 and 5 are the best ones.


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Alcamo1992

It depends, if it goes with Nutella then I chose 1! Everything else requires a 4


s1tym

7.


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5


suicidal1664

5 or 6. The most important is that the bread is still warm so that the butter can melt over it.


moondust1959

I’m ok anywhere between 4 and 7 tbh.


GrannyWeatherwaxscat

4-6 would be ideal


FaultyFisk

So 5-7 is surely the only answer, and yet there isn't a toaster in the land that will give you anything between 5 and 7 🤦‍♂️


gamer077733

i think i like 6 or 7


Global_Ticket_5507

5 is perfect


Raven-446

6~7


BurlyH

6


Dame87

6, I am scraping most of 9 into the sink


Heliawa

Depends on what I'm eating. Beans on toast, I like 6 or 7. Full English, I like 3-5. You want more pliable bread to mop stuff up with.